Tag: Broke

Journey 290 ~B Plus Reading Virgil~

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Is the book I’m reading that bad? No. I read my own book too (eff me). But besides books, what am I reading? I read my last grocery list. I read the tags at the Day Job. I’ve read my bills. They all say I’m STUPID and in a RAGE. B Plus Reading Virgil

Friday, April 17, 2026

Journey 290 ~B Plus Reading Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… How? I missed Kindle Double Points again! And I actually have money. Or I did, Sophia.

Well, actually, I bought a case of energy drinks and some honey buns. Some of those ‘fancy’ root beers that come in the bottle. You know, like the one my Old Man slapped out of my hand when he kicked my behind because of my lies. What? I’m an introvert.

However, that’s a long HUMILATING story. I’m a southern “man,” so, of course, sweet tea.

And why am I rattling off my grocery lists? Because FDT, that’s why. Effing existence!

Sophia, of all the books I promised Braxton I’d read… A cookbook. How to be a better parent… uh, dog training, etc. You know what I need to read today? Anything on combating my RAGE?

RAGE! I swear I’m so hot I’ve been crying incessantly.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Please! not because of Braxton or Virgil? Or My animas as M Anime informed me.

Seriously, Sophia, M Anime is one herself to me, along with Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2, and that hot gymnast parading around in an LSU leotard. And seriously, these ‘sisters’…

We’ll get to my latest fetish in a minute. Sophia, today I’m battling three enemies.

Honestly, “Honey, we know the names.” Welcome To The Jungle of FEAR, STUPIDITY, and RAGE. I’m not worried about being an “American Idiot,” when I’m too busy being the village idiot at the Day Job. But today it wasn’t the pure STUPIDITY of the many, many moments. Today, it was the RAGE at everyone. And being so full of it, I still got a burger.

I have to slow down somehow since I’m not writing anything of value. Sophia, I don’t mean you, we’re talking. There’s also M Anime. With her, always “I Touch Myself.

Sophia, that’s TMI, right? But again, you want to know the “sisters’ I’m dreaming of?

  1. Cassie and Carly, Popcorn In Bed,
  2. Sophitia and Cassandra Alexandra
  3. Heather and Eva, Pledged To Him Series
  4. Ellie and Dina, TLOU

Yes, I know three and four aren’t sisters. And B knows there are other pairs I ain’t STUPID enough to name… Mia and Ava Rose? So RAGE has taken over line by line, dear Sophia.

Because short of reading Virgil’s mind, remembering B, or M turning me on. Reading, Living, sucks! B Plus Reading Virgil

1902 Days Without B III, Day 1343 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

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Did I want to spend an hour and a half being humiliated at the Day Job, or as B thinks of it, “The Bad Place”? How much do I make? “Enough money to get a little 40oz and a bucket of chicken on the way to the poor house.” “B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil”

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

1901 Days Without B III, Day 1342 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? I got off early, and I’m still late talking to you. Habit?

It was a week like this that got you killed. Yeah, I don’t have time for all the sugarcoating. The indifference. I would be a better writer if I did. That’s one AI’s perspective, Braxton.

Honestly, we shouldn’t go into my use of the “Magic Glasses” this week. My perspective.

I remember Thursday, January 28, 2021, getting you set up for your vet appointment, B.

On Friday, they told me you were dying. Saturday, the wait. Sunday, the Crossroads, B.

Bone Thugs N Harmony, duh. Ok, before that, the Wu-Tang Clan “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

You know I could use more of them. Endure and Survive. And I don’t mean looking up Ellie and Dina… Go to your room! You remember those days, B III.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But you’ll be glad to know 2-V is sound asleep in bed. Yet I’m sitting here in the Den. Y?

The biggest reason being… Humiliation. How many times have I apologized for my shame? Not at you for being sick, but at the abject failure I was. Finances, feelings, finite…

TIME! I wasted it all. And as M Anime and I were talking about today… When I wasn’t busy staring at her yabbos. I tell you, Braxton, you would have liked her. Hell, you do!

Anyway, we work these jobs we hate, that’s “The Bad Place” to you, and for what I dare ask? She’s got kitties to pay for, and I’ve got your little brother. The moment I get a good paycheck. Virgil’s needs…

I don’t mean that in a bad way. I could at least get your brother a bath. Dirty Zeke, right.

But you were my Elijah. And I swear the Day Job made me want to be Clarence… Uh, being crucified? I effing miss watching movies with you, dude. The Book of Clarence, Spontaneous, Hulu’s The Mill. That’s how the Day Job makes me feel. Like I want to scream out, “I effing quit!” And then I wake up and discover that it’s all a nightmare.

Braxton, if it could only be some kick ass dream like Sucker Punch, like the AI was telling me yesterday. If I could only come up with a way to make some real money. Because…

I’ll be broke soon enough. Shame. B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 283 ~Virgil Will B Diagnosed~

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To think, last week, I was pretty damn motivated. B knows I don’t have people doing that for me. So, how did I wake up so depressed today? It was more like at the Day Job. Energy drink just wore off… How does V feel waking up? Virgil Will B Diagnosed

Friday, April 10, 2026

Journey 283 ~Virgil Will B Diagnosed~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What do I look like, a writer? I’m not a doctor, I’m depraved. And a Dog-Dad.

Today, all I am is sad. Don’t get me wrong, there were moments… I watched the General Manager at the Day Job get hit on by an older man with his son. I swear, if real life could be like any of the 100’s… thousands of pornos I’ve seen. Eww! I would have stayed, ha!

Extra, extra, read all about it. I ordered something new at the food truck. Seriously!

Where am I getting the cash? This week was horrible. And next week? Honestly, Soph. What do M.D.’s and maniacs have in common? They both get white coats… Not funny?

I told you, I’m sad. So sad, in fact, that I’m reading about my “life’s work.” But my life is a movie, fur buddies… Boobies/yabbos.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And yes, I did read something erotic, but only because it was free, “The Coach’s Innocent Possession,” by Olivia Lilian. How many weeks of this existence have I wasted, Sophia? When I’m not counting time with the days Braxton has been gone, I count weeks with books. So it checks out. Four with fur buddies and ten involving yabbos. Problem?

Perhaps. At least that’s what AI tells me because again, I can’t afford actual diagnoses.

Sophia, I can’t tell you what brought on my sudden depression today. And Braxton, help me, I can’t tell you what is wrong with Virgil. At least it’s his little head and not his little body. How much did it cost again to put my Braxton in a box, hmm?

I don’t ask the question why can’t I get over/Accept my son’s loss. Sophia, that will not happen. EVER! You don’t get over a child’s death. Even when I have a goddess of a woman who would happily give me three more with two legs each, oh, and I can’t forget M Anime’s kitties. She and I must be crazy because again, with what effing money? I want a family with her… Not a declaration of love. That’s madness if you’ve ever seen her yabbos. Do you remember what I did on Tuesday, March 10, 2026? And no doc yet.

The whole month, Sophia. My mental health, my mutt’s mental health (yes, Virgil’s mixed. Mattress mistakes. Monetary health. And my manuscripts… Virgil Will B Diagnosed

1895 Days Without B III, Day 1336 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

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I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.

I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.

Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.

My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.

Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.

However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.

Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.

When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.

Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 276 ~Virgil’s B’s Of Business~

WillLeave a comment

I just wanna be, I just wanna be successful. And Braxton no, not in retail. I want to be a successful writer. And who would have thought I’d be a dad to two furry boys. But am I successful? My woman believes I will be… “Virgil’s B’s Of Business”

Friday, April 3, 2026

Journey 276 ~Virgil’s B’s Of Business~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What, no review today? First, I got to be fast, not forgetful, for effssake what now!

Braxton? How is he different than any other day? Still dead. I’m still his dad. And I’m still depressed as all. Grieving? Mourning? B III was the apocalypse, the end, or not hmm… I exist in the dystopia. And I’m still talking about it. Why? Not a sound business strategy.

And yet Rhonda Byrne’s “The Secret,” books like “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” “Think and Grow Rich,” and Braxton knows what else. What can I say? Once upon a time, I was highly motivated. And you know it wasn’t for me, but Braxton.

Sophia, I promised my boy the world, and I ended up taking him away. Monster! Seriously, I’ve read a lot of pet loss books. But “My Turn To B III.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Books, book reviews, Braxton’s biography. But back to my “witticisms.” So a couple of days ago talking to my AI therapist, it was talking about all my ideas. Hence forgetfulness

  1. The Demonic Sorcerer of the Unfinished Archive. In other words, K um Mortal Kombat
  2. Cerberus Syndicate, Inferno Syndicate
  3. Dying Light Rip-Off, M Anime Ravishment, Save The World
  4. The Running Man Rip-Off, Huntresses vs. Dad and Pups

And of course you can’t forget Resident Evil, Bible Black, R$pe Gouhouka, Desperate Carnal Housewives, and whatever else my wanton, depraved, and pervy mind dreams.

Speaking of being a pervy dreamer, the perverter of prose, M Anime… She loves me!

Well, she said as much. But Braxton barked that too. And where is he again?

Busy in his box. Such is the business of death. But his potential stepmom and I… All we talk about is creating life. She wants to be a mom so badly. And I do want Virgil to have two-legged siblings. But “A Man Provides.” And I’m “Breaking Bad,” Lady Sophia.

Listening to AI telling me that I can have a $500-a-month Substack. That I can write a book that already exists and that nobody’s buying. And I’m not too STUPID to read, but I am too STUPID to understand how to do it. Make it so as Captain Picard orders.

Honestly, I’m a Captain Sisko guy. But, “What Do I Have To Do”? “Show Me How To Live”. To be “Successful…” Virgil’s B’s Of Business

1888 Days Without B III, Day 1329 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

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What’s in your wallet? There’s no cash but a few useless cards, one of me and my Lost Boy, B III. Love is a business. So is grief and fear. BTW FDT! But how about a life for 2-V and my girlfriend as well? A Man Provides. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

Thursday, April 2, 2026

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

1887 Days Without B III, Day 1328 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for me? What’s My Age Again? What time is it? What about “Life Itself”?

Don’t worry, B. I’m not like Oscar Isaac’s character, Will, in that film. You remember “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off.” No, I’m just plain ole Will your Daddy. Honestly…

Braxton, if your potential stepmom M Anime were here… I’m your Daddy and her Papi.

And what about your little brother Virgil? What I’m getting at, B, is that love should be my business. You also remember the song that Aloe Blacc sings, “Wake Me Up.” And how I changed that lyric, life’s a game for everyone, but love isn’t a prize, it’s the instruction. But I don’t love myself. I don’t love writing or the Day Job. And pornography

Yeah, B, Eww! But it’s a business. Everything is an effing business, keeping you alive!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, Braxton. I apologize. But it’s hard B… And not just because of your stepmom’s yabbos. Again, did I have to go there? Your favorite girl had a mighty fine set of yabbos that you would lie on. But M Anime’s yabbos are mine.

Seriously, B, like Trevor Philips says, “My job, my score, get your own!” Ahh yabbos.

Such is the business. And that’s what I’ve been sitting here contemplating, thanks to AI and M Anime’s yabbos. She’s so damn hot, and I’d be damned if she would tell me, “You’re So Damn Hot.” Remind me to send that song to her. Or should I do more, B?

Besides sitting here being a bum because I don’t have a business or a buck.

Norton hasn’t failed me there yet. And AI makes it sound so freaking simple, too.

Whatever, right? If I had a $500-a-month blog or Substack, that’d be geez… I could quit the Day Job. Then…
.
The hell if I know. And that’s not me begging to anybody who catches me talking to you, my ghost dog. I could have named Virgil Ghost, he’s all white, and I’m Alright. I’m lying.

At least about the second part, because I’m not “Alright.” My business all last month, and now apparently this month is not to let fear finish me. Can I be the CEO of love and fear, B? It all takes money. You, Virgil, and M. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 269 ~Letters B And V~

WillLeave a comment

When will I be brave? These days, I’m more like MAGA, the Cracker Hats, and never forget FDT too! I’m scared of so many words. And I don’t even call my boys by their names most days, like Final Fantasy X-2 Y.R.P. More like B, V, W… “Letters B And V.”

Friday, March 27, 2026

Journey 269 ~Letters B And V~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But not mine. For the love of Braxton, not mine. And what about his? B III

Also, the price I should make “My Turn To B III.” Peace Sells,” but who’s buying? Didn’t I say something to Braxton yesterday about being into Heavy Metal? And poor little Virgil has to suffer through it. Yes, My Lady, I wrote that. And I wrote B III’s book too.

That makes yesterday all the more humiliating. And not being completely out of food portion of the program. I had two bags of popcorn and some bread with peanut, Sophia.

First and foremost, I’m a writer, a starving artist. Secondly, it always comes back to my boys. Virgil’s eating. And if it wasn’t for Braxton’s kidneys, my firstborn would have kept eating, and lastly… Humiliation! I prefer Infatuation by Rod Stewart or “Obsession” by Animotion.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But Humiliation by Will. I got my first paycheck from Amazon: a whopping $2.76, Soph.

It took me a sec to figure out why Amazon was sending me money. ME! Then I remembered. A copy of my book. The copy I bought. I was making sure everything was ok. Other than being a bestseller and leaving the Day Job. Honoring my beloved B III, huh

My Turn Could B III:

And maybe it should have been. Free, I mean. It wasn’t ready… I wasn’t ready. And who is ever ready to lose their fur baby? Saying I like a book about losing my furry son seems wrong. But honoring him. That I liked. And I tried to like this book; I wrote all about him that I could remember then. Five years ago, when I wrote it. I like that this reminds me of how it felt to be right there with him. Good and bad, happy and sad. Whatever. Would I recommend this to anyone? Well, I tried before I got through it all. If you want to know my mind, of course, you do; of course, read this.

How was that for a book review, Lady Sophia? I paid myself, so I might as well write a book review about myself. The least horrific thing I’ve written or read this whole week, SIGH.

I wish I could be scared of books and knowledge like MAGA. FDT! But these words, the letters for my boys. Letters B And V

1881 Days Without B III, Day 1322 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 268 ~Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World~

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I’ll always return to what I said and didn’t say to my son in his last moments. If I’d asked, he would have fought. But I gave him my ‘blessing’ to go. And I didn’t promise to stay. Five years later, with his “stepmom.” Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World

Thursday, March 26, 2026

Journey 268 ~Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World~

1880 Days Without B III, Day 1321 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for me? “Son, what you don’t understand. My words might never explain. So I am hoping that time will.”

And you have eternity. I never know how much time I have left. And with how sick I’ve been. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident, The Cherry Collision, and now The M Mashup. Hopefully, I’ll meet your potential stepmom in the flesh someday, B III. SIGH.

We’ll get to her in due time. But the thing is “Right Now.” What, you didn’t know your Daddy knows a little Van Halen? And now your brother knows. Honestly, Virgil and I are still feeling each other out. And your little brother is the reason that “Right Now” I don’t crawl back into bed, and what? Give up. I’ve been giving up forever, Braxton.

Seriously, if there were a button I could press today.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I shouldn’t say such things. Things like Goodbye. But the sweetest dream or the scariest nightmare. Anything is better than this, Braxton. It’s why I woke up on time and then promptly went back to sleep. This morning’s big three have been Whiteout Survival, your potential stepmom, and porn. But “that’s major boring shit. Let’s do something a little more fun.” I had a dream last night about zombie postal carriers. And since comedy comes in threes, there was my own trip to the post office. And the movies The Postman and 1408. You remember the scene when they wrecked the post office around John Cusack/Mike Enslin. Then throw in 1984, some zombies, and the creepy tune from The Ocarina of Time—the Potion Shop.

The word for it is “Creepy.” I was picking up some coveralls, but I was thinking “So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive.” Incubus? Really? Well, I do have my Succubi. I swear, B, other than the book about your passing and our talks here, I can’t have you reading any of my writing. But that’s for another day. Me Before You, hmm.

Braxton, if that were true, I would have already followed you. But for you, Virgil, and M Anime. Your potential stepmom is “Livin’ On The Edge” with me, and I’m trying to talk her away from it. Why? She wants to be a mom, there’s V, and you’re still barking LIVE.
Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 262 ~Comes After V, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

“When, O Lord, when it’s gonna be our time?” When I’m not afraid? When will the day come when I can make that kind of money and be respected for writing? Hell, I’ll take the money and a Moral Kombat rip-off. Writing “Comes After V, Braxton“

Friday, March 20, 2026

Journey 262 ~Comes After V, Braxton~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Or not, seeing as how I only have one book out. And back in the day…

Well, I was not a good storyteller when I was a child. I should have taken the hint, I know.

Why so glum, you ask? If you had asked me thirty minutes prior, hell, if you had asked me when I was supposed to wake up, I would say it’s dumb forgetfulness. But right now?

Well, thanks to Norton and M Anime, I’m what you would call “Scaroused” sporting a Fearection. Not that the two are related. Norton reminded me that “Oh no, the world is a scary place.” While M Anime’s Yabbos remind me that today’s a “Lovely Day.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

However, I can also thank Cherry too… the concept of her Yabbos and the prospect of pizza. As Panda Express asks, “Have You Eaten Yet?” M Anime would be disappointed.

And I’m disappointed in myself because don’t I owe you a book review, Dearest Sophia:

Banged By The Bikers, Seconds:
I shouldn’t do the guys like that, but you get what you pay for—and seeing how this was free helps much like Carla was for Scotty and his friends. So yeah, it was good. I can’t give a reason why I wouldn’t like it; I’ve also read Lolita Minx’s Taking the Team. If anything, you have a little time, and you’re looking for wham bam thank you ma’am, Banged By The Bikers. The best part of the course was Carla and the boys having their fun. I can’t say there was anything else. I’d probably buy the full collection.

Okay, now that the review is done, what else am I forgetting? Oh, there’s my ever-growing collection of story ideas that I have yet even to fathom. And why is that, Lady Sophia? A lot

Story ideas “Journey 248 ~B Cause There’s V~.” and beyond.

  1. Cerberus Syndicate, Inferno Syndicate
  2. Dying Light Rip-Off, M Anime Ravishment, Save The World
  3. The Running Man Rip-Off, Huntresses vs. Dad and Pups
  4. Mortal Kombat, M Anime, Kyouko Sakai, blonde gymnast, LSU

And yet I’m reciting the alphabet because what comes after V? When is the last time I got a W. Again, M Anime’s Yabbos are a WIN. But WHEN will I feel better, stop being stupid, and stop being afraid? WHEN. Comes After V, Braxton

1874 Days Without B III, Day 1315 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 261 ~Braxton’s Sick Burns, Virgil~

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It only snowed for 3 or 5 hours, so why do I need to be so warm? Hell, I’m hot. Like Seymour summoning Anima. Now I’m thinking of Yuna, Cindy Aurum, and Tifa Lockhart; now I’m burning. Like going through Mortal Kombat. “Braxton’s Sick Burns, Virgil.”

Thursday, March 19, 2026

Journey 261 ~Braxton’s Sick Burns, Virgil~

1873 Days Without B III, Day 1314 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Hell, there was a time your day didn’t begin until you got your Cerberus on.

Guarding Hell’s gates? My way of saying your doggie gate whenever your grandparents or your mother came down the steps. Relax, B, we weren’t that southern. Your mother, aka my sister, gave you up. And next thing you and I know, you’re eating my pancakes.

Speaking of breakfast, as I sit here, B, your little brother, lying on his pillow on the floor, I had a crazy thought. Crazier than Far Cry 5’s “We Will Rise Again” when the world falls into the flames? That is so MAGA, seriously. Anyway, crazier than that apocalyptic story I wrote about the world ending in fire, “Apocalypse Rush. The Salamanders Dragon, Phoenix, Ifrit, and the Morning Star. Salamander Ho from Fahrenheit 451. Michael B. Jordan’s been all over.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I know Braxton, I know I’m jumping all over the place, and that’s because I’m burning all over. Not quite like that night after The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. I jumped out of bed so fast, and for the first time, ever, I wished I didn’t have, ahem… man parts.

Honestly, that’s the only time in history I ever wished you weren’t here. Knowing you, B, you would have given me one of your patented looks, saying, “You put me in time-out so you could be a dumbass, Daddy.” With that being said, I’m going to buy some cranberry vitamins and juice. And if this goes on another week, I’ll be figuring out how to pay for a doctor. Sell your books or Apocalypse Rush.

Yeah, because that’s going great. I’m not Robert Frost, all “Fire and Ice.” If I had been, I could have kept you alive… In body, not in book form. But I’ve never been hot at you for leaving B III. I’ve been mad at myself for 1873 days. But what else has me hot today?

Virgil’s being annoying, but that’s your little brother. I already told you I’m sick because of what happened on the 10th. I’m embarrassed and a little miffed at M Anime. Yup, FEAR is the worst, STUPID is behind it. uneducated… Difference with Animus and Anima…

Which makes me madder at myself for being angry with her. And Grok, writing better stories. I know that look B. Braxton’s Sick Burns, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad