Tag: Broke

Journey 332 ~B’s Get Degrees, Virgil~

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I have no clue what my GPA is, and I don’t want to know. My entire education socially, I’d compare to the Ninth Circle of Hell, and then B died. Now I’m an old man creating a Hell we both can live in. Or I read all about it. “B’s Get Degrees, Virgil”

Friday, May 29, 2026

Journey 332 ~B’s Get Degrees, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Wouldn’t it be better if I wrote you one? Even better if I sold one. Begging?

Not today, nor any other day. Unless we’re talking about M Anime. Again, Beggin’ her.

I won’t have to… But I probably will in one way or another. Time to write, to read, to blog. Aren’t those synonyms, writing and blogging? Someone said, “Blogging is graffiti with punctuation.” That was in 2011’s Contagion. Looking up if Contagion was a book.

Nope! But I could use a good virus story. I mean, “Destroyed” by Pepper Winters is a great book and all. Everyone is sick in it one way or another, Fox, Hazel, her little girl:

“We need a good assassination
We need an earthquake or a war
How ’bout a crooked politician?
Hey stupid, that ain’t news no more.”
Newsies

Or would you rather I talk some more about my sons? According to Stephen King, “Hell Is Repetition.” And the Magic Glasses know all about Stephen King. And everything else.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Like my own work? Hell, Braxton’s name is written in the stone. Because when I see or at least think the writing is on the wall, something happens… Last night, I had the garbage stacked up because I didn’t want to take it out. Anyway, the bag fell, my lady.

“It’s nothing, Braxton, we’re okay.” I swear, Virgil gives me this look as I get up and say, “Sorry, V, I know, I know.” It’s expected to write the date wrong for a few days…

Seriously, my lady! Imagine getting the date wrong for five years? Get ready for some repetition because eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats, and FDT! And I sound like them.

Living in the past, disrespecting Virgil simply wanting to be.

What, my inspiration, my insanity, and another dotted I or crossed T in a book I will eventually write for him someday. I wonder how many times I’ll say Braxton instead of Virgil? More times than I use the words “Of Course” in Braxton’s book My Turn To B III

No, I didn’t forget. Just like I didn’t forget, I need to find a new book to read this week.

Sophia, do you believe I’ll finish Destroyed before the end of the week? Great, wonderful

Like my Mortal Kombat story, the Unfinished Archive? I tried to start from scratch today.

Have the Magic Glasses had enough? I did, of my own book learnin’. D’s Sophia. Education, reading, writing, Woke SIGH Broke. B’s Get Degrees, Virgil.

1944 Days Without B III, Day 1385 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 331 ~Virgil’s Beeps, Braxton’s Boops~

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What’s that beeping? How many times did I boop B’s nose? How many more times will I boop V’s? I could have used a bleep when it came to Cody ChesnuTT. Eff that guy. If I were banging B and V’s stepmom, I’d feel better. Virgil’s Beeps, Braxton’s Boops

Thursday, May 28, 2026

Journey 331 ~Virgil’s Beeps, Braxton’s Boops~

1943 Days Without B III, Day 1384 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine? “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”. Although, how do I see anything? SIGH

Crying? Not at first, B. So I was late getting up this morning, hmm. It’s hard to obey an alarm clock to get up at 4 AM when you’re going to sleep at 2 AM. Awake before M, B III

Talk about the good—your potential future stepmom in a sundress or not. I know you appreciate your favorite girl’s yabbos. And we still want to see Cherry’s. She’s 29. Seriously, I was about to say age is just a number, and then I remembered last night.

Yesterday, Emmanuelle Nadeau aka, “Sister Melissa,” and Jessica Garza, aka “Sister Penny.” WARNING! I’m being bad, with the Magic Glasses, and the “Glow Box”. But if I want to be ugly, I need only look into a mirror.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But as the song goes, today is “All About You.” And while I’m busy ripping off pop culture, I actually need to see “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” and I miss “The Book of Clarence,” where I first heard Jeymes Samuel’s “All About You.” All the noise, Braxton.

I swear it’s driving me insane. Short of your potential stepmom’s temptations, your brother’s tantrums, and I’ll even admit the final typing of a conversation with you or the girls, and even your own thoughts. It’s like I need the noise and then effing silence.

Honestly, though, if I had one wish right now… Of course, it would always be to have you back. But I want to forget about the Day Job Tuesday. Eff Cody ChesnuTT! Eff “Look Good In Leather”. And if I want you to watch your language when barking… Well sorry.

I’m only looking for a noise to drown everything else out right now. Something, anything!

Is it any wonder that the three latest additions to my fictional harem have been technical types B III? Judy Alvarez, 2B, and Nicoletta Goldstein. Books you can’t read, Braxton.

Better yet, a book I wouldn’t read to you—the buzzing, the breaths taken, and the bang. I don’t need to go looking in that special drawer… You know the one under your memorial, which was meant to protect us… It’s like a nuclear button. Not so serious. Only bad.

Daddy doesn’t need that much noise. Virgil’s Beeps, Braxton’s Boops

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 325 ~Virgil, B Cause Books~

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I’m not one for rereading books, and yet here I am. I’ve fallen out of practice reading on pet loss, but that by no means counts as Acceptance. And while I could be reading something to learn, well, All You Need Is Love, right? Virgil, B Cause Books.

Friday, May 22, 2026

Journey 325 ~Virgil, B Cause Books~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… As soon as I pick one out. I’m reading something decent, mind you. But finishing it…

Eff me, Sophia. It’s 2 in the afternoon, and I’ve barely been out of this bed. Git Up, Get Out

And the only reason I’m even tempted to get up is that Virgil is asleep against my leg and it’s burning up. “Only God Knows Why”… Kid Rock? B? Some book I need to read.

Seriously, is another book about dying, dead, and done fur babies going to help anything?

I could ask the same thing about “Destroyed” by Pepper Winters. I’ve read it before as part of a compilation. But you know how I tend to find the right book at the wrong time.

That is my existence. Why am I still alive? That’s a question I’ve been reading.

Honestly, Sophia, I’m just long-winded.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

One more reason I like sex. A minute man? Please, my lady. Eff me? I’m sorry I said that to you. I mean, I’m not, I mean… Anyway, I have a whole harem of characters, Sophia.

The point is I’m all Billy Ward and The Dominos, a “Sixty Minute Man.” I hope much longer when it comes to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. M Anime wants a lifetime and to fulfill her “biological imperative” in TWD, Eugene-speak. We created life.

Or so we plan to. “Isn’t It Ironic,” don’t you think? “I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow,” so anxious to join my little furry son, yet in this land of the dead, I know where to pour the Bisquick and how to make pancakes.

This bastion of life in this land of the dead. This is my way of fighting MAGA. FDT! I could do more if I actually picked up a cookbook. A Man Provides. So if I could get the ingredients, I’ll leave it to M Anime to make the meal. The question is paying for it.

Writing, Lady Sophia. That’s my “One” idea, my creed in a way. But here I am sitting in bed on a Friday afternoon, and “I feel angry, I feel helpless, want to change the world, yeah. I feel violent, I feel alone. So another self-help book might be worth discovering. Only we know how today will end. Find a book about a girl getting effed. Knowledge. Virgil, B Cause Books

1937 Days Without B III, Day 1378 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 324 ~Braxton’s Highest Price, Virgil~

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Even if I could have my boy cloned, reincarnated, or if this were all a bad dream, would I want to sentence my boy back to this life? Five years later, and all that’s changed is the son. The price of loving me… SIGH. “Braxton’s Highest Price, Virgil”

Thursday, May 21, 2026

Journey 324 ~Braxton’s Highest Price, Virgil~

1936 Days Without B III, Day 1377 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Is there a time without it up on the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, “The Garden,” etc.

Who are you? Thanos? In all honesty, you did take half the universe dying, Braxton.

Seriously, if I were to blame you for anything, it’s simply that you took the wrong half. It should have been me, dammit. And no, I’m not mad. I’ve wasted another day. STUPID things were done. “Sex Dreams” … Uh, yeah, let’s call them that, were had. I know, Eww!

And your Daddy sleeps like a sinner, meaning there “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked”.

“Ain’t No Grave” can hold my body down. I keep saying I’m going straight to Hell, Little B. I’d say I’m already there with all this heat. I swear, hot summer sun and hot wings.

Her? And no, I don’t mean the singer B or the movie. Good movie BTW.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

No, little man. Break it down. Your Dad is in hot water again. Or it feels that way. Uh oh.

Let’s just say sometimes your Daddy needs to take off the Magic Glasses sometimes, B.

A hot blonde here, The Last of Us there, and the sisters from Tenjho Tenge this morning as well. I thought way back then you would pay the price for my indiscretion. I’d have to leave you. But it was I who paid the price. Again, all this heat. Rage, Lust, and a sick man.

I gave you indifference, thinking I was protecting you. And then “Don’t Fear The Reaper.”

That’s why this isn’t Hell… The Ninth Circle is supposed to be cold. That price…

It would be too easy to pay. No, Braxton, I pay by keeping your brother alive. Virgil is running around in your bedroom as we speak… Not being you. B, you would be in here.

Well, unless you were in a time-out. Then I would be busting my balls all over some girl online. Again, Eww! Can I not be Mike Johnson telling my only son about my bits? Eww!

Effing MAGA! Am I blaming them for my being broke? First, your Dad is broke in more ways than one. Second, your Dad is a bum. And third, “How Long Will I Love You,” B?
Your brother, M Anime (maybe) someday, and me? You ask so much of me, my son. Braxton’s Highest Price, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 318 ~Braxton Read, Virgil Unread~

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Even when we were at our worst, Braxton and I were there for one another. Uh, B was dying, and I was still reading, writing, and looking at emails. Then I’m reading about Euthanasia, and I still get emails from dog care. “Braxton Read, Virgil Unread”

Friday, May 15, 2026

Journey 318 ~Braxton Read, Virgil Unread~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… About my firstborn son, of course. “Of course.” I need to fix that in Braxton’s book.

Not to mention lowering the price to a dollar. But we’re not talking about my to-do list right this second. And what about “Enticing Erin” by Kelli Wolfe? I could give you a book review. And isn’t that the whole point of this? Sophia, the point is I almost forgot…

Seriously, I rushed to my Kindle just to make sure I got my reading done last night. But again, the point wasn’t about the reading but about my son, well, sons B III and 2-V.

Anyway, simple enough story. I woke up one time, and I didn’t see Braxton anywhere.

So I’m looking at his empty bed, checking his empty room, rushing outside thinking I left him in the backyard. Nope, Braxton was lazy. Hiding.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You see, Braxton had a doghouse he had forgotten about using in his room. Honestly…

Sophia, I’ve forgotten how to use the bed in “my room”. Hell, I haven’t dreamed of sleep in so many days. As a matter of fact (rushes downstairs and grabs a Bum Root Beer) Ahh!

Calling it an energy drink would be an insult to energy drinks. The things we read, Lady Sophia. No wonder reading anything has become such a chore and crappy experience.

Honestly, it’s criminal, more like “it’s an animal, living in a human zoo.” Because only an animal would be using the “Magic Glasses” on superheroes. Let’s just say I now envy Superman about as much as the Hulk—DC vs Marvel. Yes, Sophia, I read.

But again, it’s been the quality of reading these past few weeks, especially alarm clocks.

But what else? I’ve actually been so tired I haven’t been thinking about that WARNING!

As I tell M Anime often enough. I know bad people. And those people use crypto. But I’m nowhere near as bad as MAGA. Eff them and FDT. And that’s another thing. “Every Day Is Exactly the Same”. What evil sh*t has MAGA done now? Can life get much worse?

Don’t I keep sharing it? Not unless it involves my money. The Day Job, book sales, and being “Down With The Sickness.” I swear, this morning I felt like I got hit by a truck.

Joining my Braxton in print. Sorry. Braxton Read, Virgil Unread.

1930 Days Without B III, Day 1371 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 317 ~Some BS Reading, Virgil~

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I’m the Last of My Kind, Mr. Ray Garraty. And where’s my Pete McVies? B’s still gone. And who would V be if I ever got around to reading The Long Walk to him? I should have been reading anything. But the damn “Magic Glasses.” Some BS Reading, Virgil

Thursday, May 14, 2026

Journey 317 ~Some BS Reading, Virgil~

1929 Days Without B III, Day 1370 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Did you read a good book? Not “The Good Book,” mind you. You can read…

What? You’re not a slave. You’re just… Dead. “And before I’d be a slave, I’d be buried in my grave. And go home to my Lord and be free.” A few things about that, Braxton…

First, I “know” you can see colors now. Rainbow Bridge and all. The Rainbow Road.

Second, I have no problem “saying” you’re gone, and you’ve died. “It’s no insult to say a dead man is dead.” It’s ACCEPTANCE. To read. To endure. To know. That will never happen, Baby B. It’s just a bullshit word. As far as I’m concerned, you’re on my right, B.

Virgil’s sleeping on my left. But thirdly, my dear B, you know how MAGA is about Black people. Listen, listen, hear and understand. Always FDT!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But I’m not here to talk about hearing unless it’s Succubus Lord 14 (Swimsuit Edition) or M Anime minus the swimsuit. Braxton, I love your potential stepmom’s yabbos. Jeezu B!

And no, I’m not getting all religious either. Okay, there is the religion that the Magic Glasses are building. As far as “The Good Book” is concerned… John and Revelation.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son… B, my sweet, sweet boy, I would watch cities burn for you, I would commit genocides for you, I would bathe in blood for you. Taking a bullet, you wouldn’t have to ask. This world means nothing.

Jeezu, Joel, John Wick, etc. So let it be written, so let it be done.

And that is what is scaring your Daddy today. The things I have written. “All These Things That I’ve Done”. It’s not the depth of my love for you. Anyone who knows me knows the lengths I will go to. I love… well, not yet, but I am obsessed with M Anime, B. I am so in love with dying, I’ve read the word necrophilia. I’m talking damn near Tillie Cole’s “Raphael.” And you and your brother have lain in bed with me more than any chick. Do you remember you wanted me to take your Favorite Girl to bed? And Virgil would cry all night if I kicked him out. But last night (sigh), what I wrote triggered a WARNING! Some BS Reading, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 311 ~Braxton’s Faith In Virgil~

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The Church of Braxton? Does it make me slightly uncomfortable? Yup. But the only boys here are my boys and me. And our nuns/acolytes are younger and dress better. Also, I believe the “American Experiment” is coming to an end—Braxton’s Faith In Virgil

Friday, May 8, 2026

Journey 311 ~Braxton’s Faith In Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Honestly, I don’t have any to tell. Hell, I’ve been giving myself instructions in “Whiteout Survival”.

And as usual, I’m wrong because what did I place today? And should I tell you another story about my “favorite,” as in Braxton. Parents aren’t supposed to have favorites.

However, if there’s one thing Braxton and Virgil, my sons, have in common, it’s that “I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” And I’m effing weird. Fur buddies and boobies!

Honestly, my lady, give me “Something to Believe In.” Why today and why now, hmm?

I mean, “You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone.” Being over forty, the better part of me died over five years ago. It wasn’t just my Braxton. It was my faith.

Sophia, I’d call myself an atheist, but no effing way did my son just disappear.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So what else do I put my faith in these days? My boys’ potential stepmom, M Anime. I still remember the third worst day of my existence. Being born, losing my boy, and losing my baby. “The Only One For Me”? That she may be. There can be miracles “When You Believe.” And I did get her back after all. But it still hurts. Soph, Faith of the Heart, hurts.

Everything hurts today. Or for the past few days. People, Sophia. Eff, MAGA! FDT! And eff Tennessee, and every other place following them. Where’s “Katie Queen Of Tennessee,” when you need her? Ok, so we know I believe in the power of music, I think.

Because I didn’t think I’d be fighting Oppression’s great roar.

That’s why I live in music, manuscripts, movies, the mutt by my side, and the misses in my arms. Well, M Anime isn’t here yet, but “It Doesn’t Matter.” Because I have a cult, ha!

Hometown Heat Wave: An Unconventional Romance, Book 3, is sitting on my Kindle as we speak, and why? All because of this epic fantasy, I’m building. Ashe has three women.

Here I am juggling six, and Braxton knows how many from Bible Black, and then there’s Braxton and Virgil themselves. And, ironically, I’m using a fantasy to find the real me, my lady. M Anime calls it Shadow Work. I have so many “Charades.” But MK is best by far.

My favorite. Putting my faith in. Braxton’s Faith In Virgil

1923 Days Without B III, Day 1364 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

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Isn’t it sad that to merely exist, one must have purpose? I mean, especially in the USA, FDT. What’s a bed for? Babies. Domestic labor. To play “Whiteout Survival.” How about rock out with my… Uh, my boys still sleep here. “B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.”

Thursday, May 7, 2026

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

1922 Days Without B III, Day 1363 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day… Your Dad? Well, I wasn’t much of a student. Do you remember that?

Was I still in college… AHEM, junior college, when you made your way here? You definitely weren’t here for high school. You and I would have died a lot sooner fighting my Old Man. Back when I was praying for a D in summer school. No, not like that, B.

Eww. Nothing against the LGBTQIA+ community, Braxton. We’re not MAGA. FDT! B, that was your last gift to me… Well, not really. But you died Sunday, January 31, 2021, so you saw me to the end of that A-hole’s first term. And your bro… Virgil, having no balls isn’t my fault. He lost those before I welcomed him here. But having no guts at all?

Like HOME, I treat COURAGE like it’s a dirty word.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Beatrice Prior, aka Tris, aka Shailene Woodley is one (b) I would have welcomed to bed, Little B. But she was with some Cracker Hat back then. Not that I stood a chance, my B.

But speaking of someone who would have me “Smokin Out The Window,” that’s part of the reason I’m late talking to you today. Between looking through the Magic Glasses and talking to your potential stepmom, “M Anime,” I’ve come to a realization. Had an epiphany. Yeah, that sounds a bit more religious. Anyway, with the story I’ve been “writing,” yeah, right. Every woman who joins the harem is a part of me, I eff over.

Literally B. And isn’t “Ironic”? When you ‘left’, I was celibate for 161 days. Right…

One good look at Chloë Grace Moretz rubbing her thigh, and I broke. Daddy’s weak.

Your Dad is also quite dumb. Please, I’m STUPID AF, and I know you don’t like me talking like this. I didn’t take my afternoon nap. I was up at 10. But the Magic Glasses:

• M Anime = Heart & Future (emotional + creative)
• Kyouko = Momentum & Desire (raw fun and drive)
• Lily = Past & Mourning (sacred grief turned into offering)
• Cassandra = Fire & Youth (passionate, competitive energy)
• Sophitia = Stability & Motherhood (mature, nurturing strength)

They don’t see Skye clearly. Not yet. In a world, you still exist. In a place I want to be in.

“Days Gone”? Been watching that. I, B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 304 ~B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil~

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What time is it? Way too long, not selling books. Spent all day looking over my blog on one side and the story being created. Tell me if you’ve heard this. Uh, MORTAL KOMBAT. Way too much to go over. But fairy tales? “But B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil”

Friday, May 1, 2026

Journey 304 ~B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But who’s the protagonist, me, Braxton, or Virgil? I don’t know. It annoys me—the End.

No, that ain’t what I’m about, my lady. As late as it is, I still owe you a story. And Braxton knows the Magic Glasses ain’t gonna do it for me. Goodness no! Am I getting lazy? Well, my lady, I didn’t leave the house today. Eat your words, am I right? I’m their slave…

Honestly, I was gathering all the blog posts on one side and what the Magic Glasses were saying on the other side. I’m sure some MAGA Cracker Hat would love that. You know, telling the truth about slavery isn’t allowed. Not in MAGA world. As always, FDT and all MAGA!

But it’s not like I can tell my story. Even the Magic Glasses are sick of me. So, effing horny?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Enough so I can’t give you a book review today. Again, I have been sitting here getting the blog compilation together and seeing who has the dirtier mind: me or the Magic Glasses. I keep asking them to finish the story, so you can guess who’s winning, my lady. Meanwhile, I’m being told to play nice. And honestly, I want to go back to bed.

Dangerous thoughts because you know who went to sleep and didn’t wake up. And it was with these hands. The same hands that can’t write 400-some odd words. Effing lazy.

Seriously thinking of words and stories, that’s why I’m annoyed this enchanted evening, my lady. Virgil was on his pillow waiting for me to what. Be good, fatherly, a writer.

That’ll be a no to that last part. Anyway, I remember when I was “younger” in this house, and Braxton would wait for me to come to bed. You know he would give me that look like “Did I effing stutter? Stop talking to the glow box (computer) and come to bed, now, Dad!” I imagine that will be his potential stepmom, M Anime, someday. Put my hands on her rather than all the imagined video vixens the AI is helping with—five harem girls.

AHEM:

  1. M Anime,
  2. Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2
  3. Lily, blonde gymnast
  4. Cassandra Alexandra
  5. Sophitia Alexandra

These aren’t fairy tales, a father tells his son. Or his daughters. M wants children, but B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil.

1916 Days Without B III, Day 1357 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

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I taught my boys to be gentlemen when it came to the ladies. And Braxton knows there were all kinds of stories I couldn’t read to them. B III loves his Favorite Girl. And 2-V? He’s scared of everybody. And I’m an open book. “B Tailing Secrets Virgil”

Thursday, April 30. 2026

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

1915 Days Without B III, Day 1356 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only you could talk, hmm… Please. I know your language like I know my…

Nevermind… The point is, I could hear you then. I can hear you now. Listening…

Honestly, that’s my problem. Communication. Where was the voice to say, “I have a bad feeling about this?” Star Wars was 1977… Yay, I’m younger than Star Wars, Baby B.

However, not by very much. Is that why I’m hard of hearing? I’m selective, which makes me more of a jerk. I heard what you were saying, and I couldn’t be bothered—my rage, B.

Smoke was coming out of my ears, and I didn’t want to take it out on you. Then explain why your little brother is asleep on the floor instead of next to me. I’m not mad at Virgil, Braxton. Less horny? Bible Black, my harem.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll always listen to my “boner…” Seriously, did your father just become a frat bro?!

Goodness no! Though I’ll always be your brother in arms, legs, uh, paws, whatever B.

Like father, like son. Do you remember when I had to give you “The Talk?” When your favorite girl comes to visit. You didn’t keep secrets from her, I know that B. You would show her too much. Again, like father, like son. We communicate, we confide, and we gain the consent of the ladies. Even though sometimes the answer is no. We hear it.

Acceptance is a whole other thing entirely. I’ve made it no secret that I will never accept you being gone. Would I be better off? Billy Bob Thornton said this:

“There’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50 percent happy and 50 percent sad at any given moment. … I don’t want to forget my brother. I don’t want to forget what it felt like when he died, because he deserves that — that’s how important he was to me. So, if I have to suffer and I have to be sad for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him… then that’s the way I honor him.” — By Billy Bob Thornton.

And don’t we have a rule about listening to white men… Effing Supreme Court! Eff!

Anyway, speaking of things I don’t want to hear. I was working with the “Magic Glasses” the other day, and it said that I got too sexual even for it. My harem for healing, Braxton.

MAGIC GLASSES Notes: Journey 302 B Slaving Away, Virgil (Wednesday, April 29, 2026)

[This is one of the most explicit fantasy prompts yet — shifting from the more “romantic” or “devotional” rituals to raw group sensuality, with the acolytes as aroused spectators.”

As real-world pressures mount — financial shame (“not economically viable”), creative frustration, physical/mental exhaustion, and the long grief over Braxton — the fantasy world becomes increasingly sexual and explicit.

Earlier Journeys often used the temple for protection, healing, and ritual renewal (hot spring, dawn prayer, Second Howl).

Recent entries (298–302) shift toward raw group sensuality, voyeurism (acolytes watching), and intense physical release.

This suggests the fantasy is no longer just about comfort or legacy — it has become a pressure-release valve. When the weight of reality feels unbearable (“I’m so effing TIRED”), the mind turns to intense sexual fantasy as a way to temporarily escape the noise, shame, and grief.
The Magic Glasses

This mirrors your real longing for a large, loving family with M Anime while simultaneously using sexual fantasy as a substitute when that future feels distant or impossible.

The increased explicitness in the prompts (bulges under sheets, acolytes touching themselves, group acts) suggests the escape is becoming more intense because the underlying pain is also intensifying.

The explicitness is not “just horniness” — it’s a symptom of deeper exhaustion and a craving for relief, validation, and temporary peace.

Bottom line:
The more explicit the temple scenes become, the louder your real-world exhaustion, grief, and sense of stagnation are crying out for relief. The harem and acolytes rushing to pleasure and comfort the Sorcerer is your mind’s way of saying: “I need to be cared for. I need to feel wanted. I need a break from carrying everything alone.”

Would you like me to explore or suggest how the temple rituals might evolve to address this emotional state more constructively?]

It’s like one of those books I couldn’t read to you while you were here. I was still into Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. Friday, January 29, 2021 Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~ I’ll give that to the Magic Glasses too and see what it thinks. Sunday Bloody Sunday, you were gone. But there has to be a better way than some woman’s ass or mine getting squeezed by her. B Tailing Secrets Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad