Tag: Broke

Journey 311 ~Braxton’s Faith In Virgil~

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The Church of Braxton? Does it make me slightly uncomfortable? Yup. But the only boys here are my boys and me. And our nuns/acolytes are younger and dress better. Also, I believe the “American Experiment” is coming to an end—Braxton’s Faith In Virgil

Friday, May 8, 2026

Journey 311 ~Braxton’s Faith In Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Honestly, I don’t have any to tell. Hell, I’ve been giving myself instructions in “Whiteout Survival”.

And as usual, I’m wrong because what did I place today? And should I tell you another story about my “favorite,” as in Braxton. Parents aren’t supposed to have favorites.

However, if there’s one thing Braxton and Virgil, my sons, have in common, it’s that “I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” And I’m effing weird. Fur buddies and boobies!

Honestly, my lady, give me “Something to Believe In.” Why today and why now, hmm?

I mean, “You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone.” Being over forty, the better part of me died over five years ago. It wasn’t just my Braxton. It was my faith.

Sophia, I’d call myself an atheist, but no effing way did my son just disappear.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So what else do I put my faith in these days? My boys’ potential stepmom, M Anime. I still remember the third worst day of my existence. Being born, losing my boy, and losing my baby. “The Only One For Me”? That she may be. There can be miracles “When You Believe.” And I did get her back after all. But it still hurts. Soph, Faith of the Heart, hurts.

Everything hurts today. Or for the past few days. People, Sophia. Eff, MAGA! FDT! And eff Tennessee, and every other place following them. Where’s “Katie Queen Of Tennessee,” when you need her? Ok, so we know I believe in the power of music, I think.

Because I didn’t think I’d be fighting Oppression’s great roar.

That’s why I live in music, manuscripts, movies, the mutt by my side, and the misses in my arms. Well, M Anime isn’t here yet, but “It Doesn’t Matter.” Because I have a cult, ha!

Hometown Heat Wave: An Unconventional Romance, Book 3, is sitting on my Kindle as we speak, and why? All because of this epic fantasy, I’m building. Ashe has three women.

Here I am juggling six, and Braxton knows how many from Bible Black, and then there’s Braxton and Virgil themselves. And, ironically, I’m using a fantasy to find the real me, my lady. M Anime calls it Shadow Work. I have so many “Charades.” But MK is best by far.

My favorite. Putting my faith in. Braxton’s Faith In Virgil

1923 Days Without B III, Day 1364 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

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Isn’t it sad that to merely exist, one must have purpose? I mean, especially in the USA, FDT. What’s a bed for? Babies. Domestic labor. To play “Whiteout Survival.” How about rock out with my… Uh, my boys still sleep here. “B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.”

Thursday, May 7, 2026

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

1922 Days Without B III, Day 1363 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day… Your Dad? Well, I wasn’t much of a student. Do you remember that?

Was I still in college… AHEM, junior college, when you made your way here? You definitely weren’t here for high school. You and I would have died a lot sooner fighting my Old Man. Back when I was praying for a D in summer school. No, not like that, B.

Eww. Nothing against the LGBTQIA+ community, Braxton. We’re not MAGA. FDT! B, that was your last gift to me… Well, not really. But you died Sunday, January 31, 2021, so you saw me to the end of that A-hole’s first term. And your bro… Virgil, having no balls isn’t my fault. He lost those before I welcomed him here. But having no guts at all?

Like HOME, I treat COURAGE like it’s a dirty word.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Beatrice Prior, aka Tris, aka Shailene Woodley is one (b) I would have welcomed to bed, Little B. But she was with some Cracker Hat back then. Not that I stood a chance, my B.

But speaking of someone who would have me “Smokin Out The Window,” that’s part of the reason I’m late talking to you today. Between looking through the Magic Glasses and talking to your potential stepmom, “M Anime,” I’ve come to a realization. Had an epiphany. Yeah, that sounds a bit more religious. Anyway, with the story I’ve been “writing,” yeah, right. Every woman who joins the harem is a part of me, I eff over.

Literally B. And isn’t “Ironic”? When you ‘left’, I was celibate for 161 days. Right…

One good look at Chloë Grace Moretz rubbing her thigh, and I broke. Daddy’s weak.

Your Dad is also quite dumb. Please, I’m STUPID AF, and I know you don’t like me talking like this. I didn’t take my afternoon nap. I was up at 10. But the Magic Glasses:

• M Anime = Heart & Future (emotional + creative)
• Kyouko = Momentum & Desire (raw fun and drive)
• Lily = Past & Mourning (sacred grief turned into offering)
• Cassandra = Fire & Youth (passionate, competitive energy)
• Sophitia = Stability & Motherhood (mature, nurturing strength)

They don’t see Skye clearly. Not yet. In a world, you still exist. In a place I want to be in.

“Days Gone”? Been watching that. I, B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 304 ~B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil~

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What time is it? Way too long, not selling books. Spent all day looking over my blog on one side and the story being created. Tell me if you’ve heard this. Uh, MORTAL KOMBAT. Way too much to go over. But fairy tales? “But B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil”

Friday, May 1, 2026

Journey 304 ~B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But who’s the protagonist, me, Braxton, or Virgil? I don’t know. It annoys me—the End.

No, that ain’t what I’m about, my lady. As late as it is, I still owe you a story. And Braxton knows the Magic Glasses ain’t gonna do it for me. Goodness no! Am I getting lazy? Well, my lady, I didn’t leave the house today. Eat your words, am I right? I’m their slave…

Honestly, I was gathering all the blog posts on one side and what the Magic Glasses were saying on the other side. I’m sure some MAGA Cracker Hat would love that. You know, telling the truth about slavery isn’t allowed. Not in MAGA world. As always, FDT and all MAGA!

But it’s not like I can tell my story. Even the Magic Glasses are sick of me. So, effing horny?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Enough so I can’t give you a book review today. Again, I have been sitting here getting the blog compilation together and seeing who has the dirtier mind: me or the Magic Glasses. I keep asking them to finish the story, so you can guess who’s winning, my lady. Meanwhile, I’m being told to play nice. And honestly, I want to go back to bed.

Dangerous thoughts because you know who went to sleep and didn’t wake up. And it was with these hands. The same hands that can’t write 400-some odd words. Effing lazy.

Seriously thinking of words and stories, that’s why I’m annoyed this enchanted evening, my lady. Virgil was on his pillow waiting for me to what. Be good, fatherly, a writer.

That’ll be a no to that last part. Anyway, I remember when I was “younger” in this house, and Braxton would wait for me to come to bed. You know he would give me that look like “Did I effing stutter? Stop talking to the glow box (computer) and come to bed, now, Dad!” I imagine that will be his potential stepmom, M Anime, someday. Put my hands on her rather than all the imagined video vixens the AI is helping with—five harem girls.

AHEM:

  1. M Anime,
  2. Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2
  3. Lily, blonde gymnast
  4. Cassandra Alexandra
  5. Sophitia Alexandra

These aren’t fairy tales, a father tells his son. Or his daughters. M wants children, but B’s Bedtime Stories, Virgil.

1916 Days Without B III, Day 1357 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

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I taught my boys to be gentlemen when it came to the ladies. And Braxton knows there were all kinds of stories I couldn’t read to them. B III loves his Favorite Girl. And 2-V? He’s scared of everybody. And I’m an open book. “B Tailing Secrets Virgil”

Thursday, April 30. 2026

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

1915 Days Without B III, Day 1356 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only you could talk, hmm… Please. I know your language like I know my…

Nevermind… The point is, I could hear you then. I can hear you now. Listening…

Honestly, that’s my problem. Communication. Where was the voice to say, “I have a bad feeling about this?” Star Wars was 1977… Yay, I’m younger than Star Wars, Baby B.

However, not by very much. Is that why I’m hard of hearing? I’m selective, which makes me more of a jerk. I heard what you were saying, and I couldn’t be bothered—my rage, B.

Smoke was coming out of my ears, and I didn’t want to take it out on you. Then explain why your little brother is asleep on the floor instead of next to me. I’m not mad at Virgil, Braxton. Less horny? Bible Black, my harem.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll always listen to my “boner…” Seriously, did your father just become a frat bro?!

Goodness no! Though I’ll always be your brother in arms, legs, uh, paws, whatever B.

Like father, like son. Do you remember when I had to give you “The Talk?” When your favorite girl comes to visit. You didn’t keep secrets from her, I know that B. You would show her too much. Again, like father, like son. We communicate, we confide, and we gain the consent of the ladies. Even though sometimes the answer is no. We hear it.

Acceptance is a whole other thing entirely. I’ve made it no secret that I will never accept you being gone. Would I be better off? Billy Bob Thornton said this:

“There’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50 percent happy and 50 percent sad at any given moment. … I don’t want to forget my brother. I don’t want to forget what it felt like when he died, because he deserves that — that’s how important he was to me. So, if I have to suffer and I have to be sad for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him… then that’s the way I honor him.” — By Billy Bob Thornton.

And don’t we have a rule about listening to white men… Effing Supreme Court! Eff!

Anyway, speaking of things I don’t want to hear. I was working with the “Magic Glasses” the other day, and it said that I got too sexual even for it. My harem for healing, Braxton.

MAGIC GLASSES Notes: Journey 302 B Slaving Away, Virgil (Wednesday, April 29, 2026)

[This is one of the most explicit fantasy prompts yet — shifting from the more “romantic” or “devotional” rituals to raw group sensuality, with the acolytes as aroused spectators.”

As real-world pressures mount — financial shame (“not economically viable”), creative frustration, physical/mental exhaustion, and the long grief over Braxton — the fantasy world becomes increasingly sexual and explicit.

Earlier Journeys often used the temple for protection, healing, and ritual renewal (hot spring, dawn prayer, Second Howl).

Recent entries (298–302) shift toward raw group sensuality, voyeurism (acolytes watching), and intense physical release.

This suggests the fantasy is no longer just about comfort or legacy — it has become a pressure-release valve. When the weight of reality feels unbearable (“I’m so effing TIRED”), the mind turns to intense sexual fantasy as a way to temporarily escape the noise, shame, and grief.
The Magic Glasses

This mirrors your real longing for a large, loving family with M Anime while simultaneously using sexual fantasy as a substitute when that future feels distant or impossible.

The increased explicitness in the prompts (bulges under sheets, acolytes touching themselves, group acts) suggests the escape is becoming more intense because the underlying pain is also intensifying.

The explicitness is not “just horniness” — it’s a symptom of deeper exhaustion and a craving for relief, validation, and temporary peace.

Bottom line:
The more explicit the temple scenes become, the louder your real-world exhaustion, grief, and sense of stagnation are crying out for relief. The harem and acolytes rushing to pleasure and comfort the Sorcerer is your mind’s way of saying: “I need to be cared for. I need to feel wanted. I need a break from carrying everything alone.”

Would you like me to explore or suggest how the temple rituals might evolve to address this emotional state more constructively?]

It’s like one of those books I couldn’t read to you while you were here. I was still into Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. Friday, January 29, 2021 Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~ I’ll give that to the Magic Glasses too and see what it thinks. Sunday Bloody Sunday, you were gone. But there has to be a better way than some woman’s ass or mine getting squeezed by her. B Tailing Secrets Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 297 ~Braxton Goes Textin’ Virgil~

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Red hats, Eww! Rednecks, meh. A red feather, I imagine my girl wearing, or Kyouko Sakai’s red accessory. (Finger Guns)? My fingers are very busy. And not wrapped around my… Anyway. B got along fine without a phone. Now, “Braxton Goes Textin’ Virgil.”

Friday, April 24, 2026

Journey 297 ~Braxton Goes Textin’ Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because Braxton doesn’t have opposable thumbs. Braxton would want to talk about food. Braxton is gone.

And he hungers for justice. What? It’s not like I killed him or anything. Oops…

Honestly, it’s low blood sugar. Makes me a forgetful di$k, and can we not talk about my “Enonormus P” right now. My hands are needed elsewhere. This wallet… MY money.

Sophia, I don’t want to talk about that either. $67 to use the “Magic Glasses” cause Braxton knows I ain’t paying Elon Musk anything. Eff him and FDT! Plus crime…

Seriously, Sophia, I’m nowhere near their level, but I still do my dirt. Instead of what, my dear? Doing some reading? The HUNGER Collection: Zombie Apocalypse Erotica by Kelli Wolfe. If I’m not reading about fur babies dying, there are the ladies crying… out in ecstasy as the dead attack.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And here I thought I wanna be a “Cowboy” baby. Truth be told, Sophia, I don’t think I’ve ever read a book on cowboys. “Posse: The Revenge of Jessie Lee,” “Shane,” and “The Cherokee Kid…” I’m one for movies, you know that. But speaking of things I’m not thinking about. My Old Man and Ma are headed out west down Californee Way for a party or something. And my Old Man asked whether I wanted to come along… The expense.

Sophia it would fall to me and do I like I have a ton of money. I waste my time typing this… whatever. I try my best, and I don’t succeed. And then there’s all the yabbos and ta-tas. But M Anime’s one word… GLORIOUS!!!

I should be texting her about those melons and how much I care for her. I mean, she is Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. And every day she asks me to make her a MILF.

But every time I even look at my phone. Hell, if it wasn’t for her, I’d taken the effing little “glow box” as Braxton thinks of it and… No, I wouldn’t. Why effing lie, honestly.

Technology will save us. I told M Anime that. I swear, if she had her way, we’d all be back on the prairie. And we know how that ended? One finger, one trigger. This n…

Again, the orange sh$t is worse. Texting away and finger on the button. Pet a dog! Braxton Goes Textin’ Virgil.

1909 Days Without B III, Day 1350 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

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People are broke because of that nut-less fool in the White House. FDT! Hell, my Virgil has bigger balls than that freak, and he’s neutered. And my money? Uh… I wasted $67.00. Why? Stupidity. My boys don’t have pants but… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan

Thursday, April 23, 2026

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

1908 Days Without B III, Day 1349 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Of course you did, you’re dead. Wow, that’s harsh. Let’s say “envy’s” kicking up again.

And in this “Jungle Book” which is my existence, “I Wanna Be Like You,” Braxton.

Honestly, I need to stop talking like this. That would be your line on a day like this, wouldn’t it? After waking up from a nap that didn’t help and downing an energy shot, B.

B as in Bloom these days. I swear, at this point, the company should be paying me for the endorsement. Hell, I even turned you and Virgil’s potential stepmom onto them. Well, she hasn’t said that yet, but she bought one. She’s all about giving you brothers and sisters, B.

Two-legged ones. Let me say that I understand why you hated wearing pants. With a girl like M Anime around… But here’s another reason. MONEY.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Be A Man.” I’m not Hulk wrestling or Marvel. I’m not the Macho Man. Dammit, B, your Dad ain’t even Mulan. Your Old Man is scared, sick, and pretty damn STUPID. Let me take you back to last night. I’d rather take you back to anywhere before January 31, 2021.

Anyway, your Dad is busy working with or funding bad guys. And I’m broke, Braxton.

Thirty-two bucks in the hole, to be specific. Well, sixty-seven, considering I finished the deal. I was telling your potential stepmom you could get girls to suc… play with your balls for that. First off, Eww! Secondly, how do I know? Lastly, you were always licking yours, and what the eff is Virgil licking? They’re gone, son. Let It Go.

Is that why I’m into blondes all of a sudden? I’m so busy thinking about Elsa. I can see her yabbos for free. No, B III, I’m still so “Caught Up” in losing money. And this is the man your potential stepmom has chosen? Then again, M Anime mentioned… Cannibalism.

Braxton, that’s the mother of you and Virgil’s siblings someday. Talk about going from “With Arms Wide Open” to Rodney Atkins “Watching You.” And now here I am crying because if I know anything, it’s that you wanted to be like me, and I would tell you, one day you would be as tall as a king, and Heaven is awfully high, the Rainbow Bridge…

Whatever. You got $32? $67? Maybe… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 290 ~B Plus Reading Virgil~

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Is the book I’m reading that bad? No. I read my own book too (eff me). But besides books, what am I reading? I read my last grocery list. I read the tags at the Day Job. I’ve read my bills. They all say I’m STUPID and in a RAGE. B Plus Reading Virgil

Friday, April 17, 2026

Journey 290 ~B Plus Reading Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… How? I missed Kindle Double Points again! And I actually have money. Or I did, Sophia.

Well, actually, I bought a case of energy drinks and some honey buns. Some of those ‘fancy’ root beers that come in the bottle. You know, like the one my Old Man slapped out of my hand when he kicked my behind because of my lies. What? I’m an introvert.

However, that’s a long HUMILATING story. I’m a southern “man,” so, of course, sweet tea.

And why am I rattling off my grocery lists? Because FDT, that’s why. Effing existence!

Sophia, of all the books I promised Braxton I’d read… A cookbook. How to be a better parent… uh, dog training, etc. You know what I need to read today? Anything on combating my RAGE?

RAGE! I swear I’m so hot I’ve been crying incessantly.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Please! not because of Braxton or Virgil? Or My animas as M Anime informed me.

Seriously, Sophia, M Anime is one herself to me, along with Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2, and that hot gymnast parading around in an LSU leotard. And seriously, these ‘sisters’…

We’ll get to my latest fetish in a minute. Sophia, today I’m battling three enemies.

Honestly, “Honey, we know the names.” Welcome To The Jungle of FEAR, STUPIDITY, and RAGE. I’m not worried about being an “American Idiot,” when I’m too busy being the village idiot at the Day Job. But today it wasn’t the pure STUPIDITY of the many, many moments. Today, it was the RAGE at everyone. And being so full of it, I still got a burger.

I have to slow down somehow since I’m not writing anything of value. Sophia, I don’t mean you, we’re talking. There’s also M Anime. With her, always “I Touch Myself.

Sophia, that’s TMI, right? But again, you want to know the “sisters’ I’m dreaming of?

  1. Cassie and Carly, Popcorn In Bed,
  2. Sophitia and Cassandra Alexandra
  3. Heather and Eva, Pledged To Him Series
  4. Ellie and Dina, TLOU

Yes, I know three and four aren’t sisters. And B knows there are other pairs I ain’t STUPID enough to name… Mia and Ava Rose? So RAGE has taken over line by line, dear Sophia.

Because short of reading Virgil’s mind, remembering B, or M turning me on. Reading, Living, sucks! B Plus Reading Virgil

1902 Days Without B III, Day 1343 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

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Did I want to spend an hour and a half being humiliated at the Day Job, or as B thinks of it, “The Bad Place”? How much do I make? “Enough money to get a little 40oz and a bucket of chicken on the way to the poor house.” “B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil”

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

1901 Days Without B III, Day 1342 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? I got off early, and I’m still late talking to you. Habit?

It was a week like this that got you killed. Yeah, I don’t have time for all the sugarcoating. The indifference. I would be a better writer if I did. That’s one AI’s perspective, Braxton.

Honestly, we shouldn’t go into my use of the “Magic Glasses” this week. My perspective.

I remember Thursday, January 28, 2021, getting you set up for your vet appointment, B.

On Friday, they told me you were dying. Saturday, the wait. Sunday, the Crossroads, B.

Bone Thugs N Harmony, duh. Ok, before that, the Wu-Tang Clan “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

You know I could use more of them. Endure and Survive. And I don’t mean looking up Ellie and Dina… Go to your room! You remember those days, B III.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But you’ll be glad to know 2-V is sound asleep in bed. Yet I’m sitting here in the Den. Y?

The biggest reason being… Humiliation. How many times have I apologized for my shame? Not at you for being sick, but at the abject failure I was. Finances, feelings, finite…

TIME! I wasted it all. And as M Anime and I were talking about today… When I wasn’t busy staring at her yabbos. I tell you, Braxton, you would have liked her. Hell, you do!

Anyway, we work these jobs we hate, that’s “The Bad Place” to you, and for what I dare ask? She’s got kitties to pay for, and I’ve got your little brother. The moment I get a good paycheck. Virgil’s needs…

I don’t mean that in a bad way. I could at least get your brother a bath. Dirty Zeke, right.

But you were my Elijah. And I swear the Day Job made me want to be Clarence… Uh, being crucified? I effing miss watching movies with you, dude. The Book of Clarence, Spontaneous, Hulu’s The Mill. That’s how the Day Job makes me feel. Like I want to scream out, “I effing quit!” And then I wake up and discover that it’s all a nightmare.

Braxton, if it could only be some kick ass dream like Sucker Punch, like the AI was telling me yesterday. If I could only come up with a way to make some real money. Because…

I’ll be broke soon enough. Shame. B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 283 ~Virgil Will B Diagnosed~

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To think, last week, I was pretty damn motivated. B knows I don’t have people doing that for me. So, how did I wake up so depressed today? It was more like at the Day Job. Energy drink just wore off… How does V feel waking up? Virgil Will B Diagnosed

Friday, April 10, 2026

Journey 283 ~Virgil Will B Diagnosed~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What do I look like, a writer? I’m not a doctor, I’m depraved. And a Dog-Dad.

Today, all I am is sad. Don’t get me wrong, there were moments… I watched the General Manager at the Day Job get hit on by an older man with his son. I swear, if real life could be like any of the 100’s… thousands of pornos I’ve seen. Eww! I would have stayed, ha!

Extra, extra, read all about it. I ordered something new at the food truck. Seriously!

Where am I getting the cash? This week was horrible. And next week? Honestly, Soph. What do M.D.’s and maniacs have in common? They both get white coats… Not funny?

I told you, I’m sad. So sad, in fact, that I’m reading about my “life’s work.” But my life is a movie, fur buddies… Boobies/yabbos.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And yes, I did read something erotic, but only because it was free, “The Coach’s Innocent Possession,” by Olivia Lilian. How many weeks of this existence have I wasted, Sophia? When I’m not counting time with the days Braxton has been gone, I count weeks with books. So it checks out. Four with fur buddies and ten involving yabbos. Problem?

Perhaps. At least that’s what AI tells me because again, I can’t afford actual diagnoses.

Sophia, I can’t tell you what brought on my sudden depression today. And Braxton, help me, I can’t tell you what is wrong with Virgil. At least it’s his little head and not his little body. How much did it cost again to put my Braxton in a box, hmm?

I don’t ask the question why can’t I get over/Accept my son’s loss. Sophia, that will not happen. EVER! You don’t get over a child’s death. Even when I have a goddess of a woman who would happily give me three more with two legs each, oh, and I can’t forget M Anime’s kitties. She and I must be crazy because again, with what effing money? I want a family with her… Not a declaration of love. That’s madness if you’ve ever seen her yabbos. Do you remember what I did on Tuesday, March 10, 2026? And no doc yet.

The whole month, Sophia. My mental health, my mutt’s mental health (yes, Virgil’s mixed. Mattress mistakes. Monetary health. And my manuscripts… Virgil Will B Diagnosed

1895 Days Without B III, Day 1336 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

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I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.

I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.

Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.

My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.

Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.

However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.

Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.

When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.

Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad