Log 264 ~Will You Be Scared~

Last week I said I’m not sleepy, but sure I am exhausted tonight, but I wrote 400 words for my novella; yep when I would once write full chapters, but I got two weeks to make up for it, but what about the end of the world? Will You Be Scared hmm

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Log 264 ~Will You Be Scared~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and rich people are the biggest scaredy-cats. When it happens to me, Lady Lu, not if, but when; well must I sing. “No, I won’t be afraid, Oh, I won’t be afraid,” what do you think? I’m finding it hard to be fearful today (Thursday). The Day Job is closing up shop for two weeks because of the Coronavirus (COVID-19). No more excuses right, two weeks to write, to become a better man, a worthy father, etc. Staying like this, spooky.

As The Walking Dead says Fight The Dead Fear The Living, so I have plenty.

No Lady Lu, the streets aren’t flooded with Walkers, for now. Let’s start with when I came back to the house today. I began working on my novella. You want to know what scares me about that. I nearly exploded in my pants, and I still have doubts about my writing. Shouldn’t I fear that all the rest of the stores are closing up? Again today, I’m not eating. I still have food, of course, but it’s as if I have no time. It’s one of the reasons I’m talking to you last, no offense Lady Lu. I know I wouldn’t go to bed before our chat. What about reading The Gargoyle? I felt the temptation to listen to it on Audible. Instead, I started, Prisoner by Annika Martin and Skye Warren. Am I scared that I’ll start procrastinating as I did with Dark Notes? Speaking of listening, I haven’t mentioned the humming that much.

What if I never have a quiet moment in this house again. I have at least half a dozen projects in this place, and still, I want my money. Yeah, and what am I trying to spend money on again, as always. I’m not worried about toilet paper or water. There was a moment yesterday; I felt like The Postman (1997). ‘Things are getting better, getting better all the time.” I found bottled water and generic TP and thought okay, not so bad. Only everyone is telling me the world is ending and what do I say to that. I’m not scared, but I’m not ready, but I instead face the dark days than a “good” day at work. My life is nothing to write about, but here we are.

At the moment, like yesterday, I’m tired, but 400 words richer; Will You Be Scared.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 259 ~Words Chosen Carefully Are Best~

Well, perhaps my greatest weapon is silence. People think I’m STUPID when most days it’s how not to go to jail and then I come here and what do I say, here you go officer Exhibit A and lying? “Words Chosen Carefully Are Best”

Monday, March 16, 2020

Log 259 ~Words Chosen Carefully Are Best~

Hundred And Twenty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but rich people trust everyone else to be STUPID. My apologies for using that word again and for thinking it ever. The truth though Madam Justice, well what is right or fact. I want to talk about my words, but then the question is, who am I?

How I like to think I pick my words for a purpose, but over the past few days, it has only been a jumble. For some time now, I look at my words like I’ll be played out to Exit Music (For A Film), my “dang” fingers and dirty mind.

Let’s start there with my trying not to swear. Don’t get me wrong; there will be a time and place for it, Madam Justice. I’ve heard people talk about foul language as a sign of high intelligence. I still find it crass and tacky unless in the right context or you’re a hot Irish girl, thank you, Katie O’Shaughnessy. Speaking of women, I see myself talking one of three ways, one as “Beggin.” The second is logical; I got money, and what do I spend that money on, WOMEN. Third, a man should be a man. I’m a Dominant for God’s sake. Only how many times have I got in trouble for being direct, forward, aggressive, dangerous? The internet seems to think so too, can I look up anything that can’t find it’s way into sex? Today (Saturday Morning), I had to write down exactly what I was doing to keep focus. I would say I should make a grocery list, but yeah, the store.

What’s the word they’re using now, um Pandemic. I talk about it being the Plague Era, and I’m not afraid. Well, I’m still joking, but I haven’t ever seen Walmart like that. I continue to use the word “excited” because I am, I built worlds off of an apocalypse. Someone could discover Audible from my stories someday, I wonder. Don’t get me wrong; I still like Audible, but it’s hard sometimes because I get so caught up in the story. Yeah, it’s pretty strange, huh I can’t keep it in my pants, I’m still hearing Rainey moaning away “Daddy.” Last is my son, who can say what he wants and knows I’ll always listen close. Three words, I Love You otherwise I’d never know them. What else can I say? Words Chosen Carefully Are Best.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 257 ~Will To Be Obscene~

I do stay up way past my bedtime though, like my furry son, I am much too old to make things so simple anymore, but when my head hits the pillow, there are no ifs, and or buts, now about living… I’m Not Sleepy Will

Saturday, March 14, 2020

Log 257 ~Will To Be Obscene~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as always, how do I make my money. Somebody has already made a “certain” parody of the Game Of Thrones. The only reason I’m awake now is “Sophie Turner’s Stumped” Quibi. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again “adult entertainment” gets me moving like nothing else. Lady Lu, I had so many plans for this afternoon (Thursday). Of course, you know that worked killed me, almost. The old saying, what doesn’t kill you and whatnot. I’m still alive.

Sometimes that’s all you can say, I’m still alive, as the song goes. I know I didn’t make much sense yesterday, so I have to ask why. If it’s for that gasp, a giggle, those groans, well, you know why I rather not be, am I right? We are living in the plague era, and yet the flesh does not bother me. Indeed, this afternoon I went and bought fast food, one more reason I was out like a light. I should be racing off to the movies, but I had to come and talk to you. You’re not a curse Lady Lu but my blessing. When I woke up, the first thing I felt, after THAT, was inspired to write. She’s Good To Come Back, a looming chapter perhaps for my novella? Only now I’m beginning to lose it, didn’t I say this would be a HARD week anyway.

I’m not giving in to the stress, or will I sing, touch me in the morning? Doesn’t help I’m still listening to Dark Notes. I didn’t even get to read any of The Gargoyle today; I could have but exhaustion. I didn’t make it to the Den, I’m on my made bed, but I passed out. The things that ten more minutes of work can do to you and why did I stay that extra time. I’m not the man I want to be Lady Lu. At the moment, that man is Emeric Marceaux with his Ivory Westbrook. I’m not Dennis Hof, capable of running a cathouse. Even now, I’m not the man who talked a hot mom out of her clothes. All-day it was that if a man can’t take care of his family, what right does he have to one. Lady Lu, I would still be in hiding.

Only this life now when I Will To Be Obscene?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 251 ~A Question Of Willies~

When am I going to start back writing, when will I get rid of this “dang” humming? How long can I hold out this time, and will I ever read a book with an average guy with no issues, like my six impossible things. A Question Of Willies.

Sunday, March 08, 2020

Log 251 ~A Question Of Willies~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you keep buying your books, BBQ, and sexual investments. We’ll keep it “PG” as much as possible today. Also note to self, being a southern man and all, I should know not all BBQ places are equal. Today’s was yuck. Now seeing today is (Friday) this subject would be perfect but of course, time-traveler. So I noticed a pattern this morning about you and recent books.

  1. The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson (Loses His Accidental)
  2. The Five by Lily White (Can’t Control His)
  3. Lust by Ker Dukey (Hates His)

“What!” I hear you scream and then “Ouch,” finally, you cross your legs. Okay do you need context, we have the PORNOGRAPHER, who burns his off in a car accident. A DOCTOR who has to keep his hands off his subject. SPOILER ALERT, he dies in the end. Lastly, we have a college boy who has to film the girl he loves, having sex. I’ve always had this dream that I want a girl I love so much that I don’t want to film her; okay, instead won’t share what I shoot. It’s not Thursday, and don’t get me started on the drama I dealt with for what I said. Anyway, the question is, as usual, what is the matter with you? Yeah, you haven’t done anything yet, but if you follow in my footsteps? We steady on as always. Dealing with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Failed

Back to one, and just because you’re making the bed doesn’t mean you aren’t still sleeping. I haven’t mentioned the HUMMING in a day or so, but it’s still there. That’s something, while you’re contemplating the mysteries of “manhood.” You can’t keep running from this; you have to do something, one of many problems. Is it any wonder you are into audiobooks? You know what, that’s a theory, men who have lost their manhood for one reason or another. One man can love, but he can’t express it in such physical ways. Another loses control and can’t satisfy his girl. The third can please his girls but not himself until much later. As the song goes, I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, which would explain plenty of things. Well, what about not doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

What about thinking with another part of my anatomy? Another similarity, these men faced death, all A Question Of Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 250 ~I’m Not Sleepy Will~

I do stay up way past my bedtime though, like my furry son, I am much too old to make things so simple anymore, but when my head hits the pillow, there are no ifs, and or buts, now about living… I’m Not Sleepy Will

Saturday, March 7, 2020

Log 250 ~I’m Not Sleepy Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and for One Shining Moment, I fought back sleeping. A small victory, but I’ll take it. Call it being horny, feeding on hate, or as Faith would say Hubris. Yeah, Lady Lu, I still miss playing Far Cry 5, and I’m a bit scared to pick it up again. Story of my life right, as I told Indiana Gone, Depression, but can I call it that if I know what it is right off the bat. Picking up a controller is the least of my worries; my feet, my head, my addiction, it’s like I’m toxic.

Everyone running around saying, “don’t touch your face” I know what I’m trying not to touch. Besides that, my pillow, my punches, and my passions. Again why do you think I’m still up? Yeah, I paid $20.00 to keep watching movies, and I don’t regret it, Lady Lu. Now that also goes for picking up Fast Food because I would get conked out in moments. Anger takes a lot out of you, and it’s what I feel most of the time. I’m burning out throughout the workday. Still, when it comes to accomplishing something meaningful. Well, today (Thursday), Cherry told me about one of the lines of my novella. “Some men are baptized in the blood of the battlefield.” I wish I could say I was so deep on some level and out of 7,000 plus words, which looks sad.

To be in such a state of mind Lady Lu. Do I regret any of the words I’ve written out of anger this week? I believe I will know at some point, but as for now, like sleep, I think not. Here’s another thing about sleeping; I would be dreaming at this very moment. My motivations often speak enough about living your dream. The idea is that most days are a nightmare, and that’s where the Depression comes in Lady Lu. I spend my days searching for another universe to lose myself in; today, I finished another one. Not one of mine mind you but The Five by Lily White. Now that book is going to bring “sweet” dreams of the wrong sort as always. It does beat being awake, though, but here I am trying because, as I read once, SIGH, “Hell is repetition.”

But I’m not dead yet, and I’m Not Sleepy Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 244 ~Give A Listen Will~

The first of the month and guess what I’m still listening to, I heard in one of my motivations, the man with no imagination, has no wings, but all my imaginings have gone into writing a novella and Audible. Give A Listen Will

Sunday, March 01, 2020

Log 244 ~Give A Listen Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and so are you, do you hear me, do you understand? It’s going to be hard on you, I know. I’ve survived a month of that HUMMING noise. The games I enjoy playing are inaccessible, well, unless you feel like moving the PS4. Now that reminds me of something else you must hear, but let’s get this out of the way. Yes, the old car is still dead. The half-bathroom toilet is broke. You are going to fight tooth and nail at the Day Job because of your continual FEAR. Sleep is going to call on you every second of the day.

Okay first off and listen to me, don’t go wasting your money. It’s there, and tonight (Thursday) I got to hit the books, don’t “MESS” this up for us. I know you want a new Kindle or to buy a ladder so you can break your neck soon. For the love of everything, please don’t. So if I’m going to start begging, here’s something for you to consider, NO FAPPING. Tonight was a test, no doubt, I was busy writing the novella, A Sin Full Of Cherry. I was so ready you have no idea. Well, if you’re reading this, the week was survivable. While we’re on the subject, as much as Audible tried to cheat me out of five bucks. You should invest in more books. I’m here to tell you they help. It’s also a bit naughty to listen to something like Beauty and The Professor. Why can’t you hear, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Siren by Hazel Grace
    Completed

You got three wins this week; you’re welcome. I’ll be honest with you, though. There was no choice but to change #6. Reading a book a week makes you akin to Bill Gates. He reads one book a week according to your motivations but A Sin Full Of Cherry. While you’re busy finishing that, hasn’t it been a while since you felt such a fire to write? It’s not even NaNoWriMo season, and you’re thinking 19,200 words possibly? Don’t let others take this away from you ever. Lastly, I ask you not to give up. I know it’s hard; I don’t mean it like that, you’re trying to be brave at the Day Job. You have to win like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

So much noise, but what’s real or at least brings pleasure, Give A Listen Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 243 ~You Willie A Critic~

Doesn’t The Bible say something about judging others, and I’ve seen parts that would give certain paysites a run for their money with the raunchiness to be sure, and here I am saying I would never be a man of God. “You Willie A Critic”

Saturday, February 29, 2020

Log 243 ~You Willie A Critic~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s not for being funny. It’s not for being smart, a Republican, or even myself. Now, if it was for being STUPID, that’s the only reason I would give the money back. Lady Lu, I can’t stand STUPIDITY for its own sake ever. To this day, I wouldn’t mind being as controversial as the Marquis de Sade. It’s been a long day since I have felt this fire burning inside me to write. For two days straight, I have forgone naps because of this story.

“A Sin Full Of Cherry,” and no, I’m not thinking about changing the name. Facebook made that abundantly clear, and why am I so mad? As Metallica screamed, “Gimme fuel Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire,” and I need it Lady Lu. These past few days have been all about rage at everything. It feels like everything is falling away. You also know how I like my list. The Den is still HUMMING. The toilet seat is still useless in the half bath. One of my cars still isn’t working, and the radio in my second car has gone silent. How about that, the one place I want some silence is loud and where I need noise I get quiet. Well, it has given me more than enough time to listen to Audible. Only today (Wednesday), I finished listening to The Gargoyle. Now I’ve moved onto Beauty and The Professor. Oh, I also made a playlist for my novella, not much yet to share.

Let me tell you this. I’m not reading today; I want to work on my book. Am I that weak Lady Lu for you know who? How can a writer be as such, we create worlds and people; you think I was going to mention God? Well, I did make my character a Minister. Once upon a time, there was this church lady who told me I would become a minister. I’m sure this isn’t what she had in mind. How many times have I said it, build paradise, be surrounded by pretty “angels.” While also like My Dæmon, finding a multitude of comfy spots and never getting up until hunger demands. However, with his face, he’s never going hungry, and as for me, Lady Lu? Well, my life isn’t the most prolific thing of all, but how many stars?

No, You Willie A Critic?

I Will Have No Fear