Gospel 040 ~Sometimes The Words Are WTF~

I’ve never been one for swearing, but I promise you not a day goes by that I don’t mutter WTF at the smallest to the hugest things like a few minutes ago. “Sometimes The Words Are WTF,” and sometimes it’s best not to say anything at all now

Monday, August 10, 2020

Gospel 040 ~Sometimes The Words Are WTF~

Hundred And Forty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that in and of itself is the concept of WTF. Hell, if you told me when I was a child, I would be right here, SIGH. I don’t want to be a downer Madam Justice but if I only knew… Well, WTF, I’m trying to explain.

As the song goes, “I Feel STUPID.” Take the everyday mundane, like the General Manager running the truck crew. She didn’t remember how to anymore, and there I stood knowing everything. What about the time I wanted to take control of the speaker and play music? Speaking of play, MILF Tres, aka Special K. Every morning I tell her hello, every night I send her a poem from GULP. Now the girl has every reason to ignore me. I checked in on MILF Dos, once or twice, and she blocked me. Should I continue saying, Hi? There’s also the fact that I’m up. Am I talking to you, instead of crawling back into my bed? Is it the fact that I got very close to getting six hours last night? You could call it my envy that I saw Katie o’ Shaughnessy from Youtube getting free stuff from Skybound, WTF.

Yeah, and just like that Madam Justice, I’m turned on. Not only by her but Indiana Evans (Blue Lagoon: The Awakening). Let’s also throw in Sofia Kasuli (Teen Starlet) thank you. Now when I get to “make love” to beautiful women like them, then WTF is this real life? When/If I ever publish one of my many books and start to make some real money? What would it be like to never be scared of walking into the Day Job again because I can leave? Who would I be if I could pay my parents off and say after, “I don’t ever want to see you again?” Of course, I have to turn it right back around to women again. Can I ever say WTF, I’m in love? Yet what would get me, is some girl telling me that she’s in love with the man I see in the mirror every day. Can’t say I know the feeling at all.

A few minutes ago, I told myself I would be reading now. I can commit to the Day Job but to keep a promise to myself or My Dæmon SIGH. Sometimes The Words Are WTF.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 028 ~There’s Yabbos Then Will~

Is it an insult to talk about Yabbos, I mean sure I could say something about eyes and I would kill for a girl to tell me I’m brilliant or I have an enormous… what you’ve never heard of Da Vinci’s Notebook, ha. There’s Yabbos Then Will

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Gospel 028 ~There’s Yabbos Then Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m not STUPID. Inspector Echo, I am sorry about using that word. STUPID is the ugliest word that I know next to SKEEVY. Now no doubt, I’m SKEEVY Inspector Echo, and I wish I could go more into that subject. Tonight I wanted to talk about how I’m enjoying the plague era. Yes, I’m still waiting on zombies, but no, I’m not celebrating death. All my motivations and self-help pretty much say the following, you reap what you sow. I predicted this week would be Hell, so here we go.

Let’s start with the obvious Inspector Echo. I LOVE YABBOS. Somehow not all Yabbos. There are those that I like a lot. The ones that get me are those I feel somewhat of an attachment to. While I was at the Day Job for what sin I have yet to suss out, I started thinking about what else Yabbos. Do you know how much cash I’ve spent on Yabbos over a year? Yabbos that I’ve never seen. Wanted to see more of, will never see. $450, that’s between Alice Little, some bitch that scammed me, and MILF Dos. Yet every day, it’s a struggle of offering $500 to see either MILF Dos’s or Cherry’s Yabbos. Hell, how much have I spent on Yabbos that delivered? I have no idea Inspector but Is It A Crime Sade. I use to think paying for porn was when it’s freaking free everywhere always.

Now I respect artists. Now don’t laugh Inspector Echo but I respect women too. Only I don’t respect myself, which brings me to the second part of today. The worst part about me is not that I’m afraid all the time. What Hurts The Most (thank you Rascal Flatts) is this. I don’t want to be STUPID. Have you ever napped so good that you forget what day it is, what time and everything in-between? Yeah, I wasted another three hours of my life sleeping and when I woke up well… I saw the soft light outside, saw the time and thought I was late to the Day Job. The workplace I hate where I’m treated like the STUPIDEST person in all creation, I mustn’t be late for that. Who am I kidding, I’m pissed I wasted 500 Diamonds on what else Valkyrie’s Yabbos ha.

Yep, There’s Yabbos Then Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 021 ~Will Knows His Writes~

I don’t think I offended anybody tonight or more like this morning. That is unless Cherry or a few other ladies suddenly take an interest in Camp NaNoWriMo. Still, I clocked my 5000 words, counting this. Will Knows His Writes

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Gospel 021 ~Will Knows His Writes~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I am also becoming a night owl. How mad was I last night that I had zoned out? No real sleep, and by the time I realized I had been in some sort of fog, it was daylight already. My Dæmon was so confused, and what’s keeping me up, hmm?

For two nights straight, I have been working on “For A Fine, Cherry Spread.” 5000 words a day Inspector Echo, that’s what I promised myself, especially with the Day Job. Next week is going to be Hell, but let’s focus on this one. How about only tonight or this morning to be sure. Eric Thomas says something to the tune of AHEM, we don’t sleep when tired, we sleep when done. By the time we have our chat, I expect to see daylight again. I do all of this for a story that I’ll never publish, that pisses me off and punishes me. I told you it cost me my friendship with Cherry. Last night while procrastinating, I noticed I lost another friend. At least I haven’t been thinking much about MILF Dos lately. I’m into my fourth week of NO FAP (24 days, 7 hr, 1 min. 32 sec).

I would say this is a benefit, but again what’s it all for? So that I can lie to Camp NaNoWriMo? I lied about those days I clocked in 100 words because I wanted my badges. Tonight I told them I wrote 4600 words. Yes, I did Inspector Echo, but I only had 4000 before midnight, so I added 600, which explains why I’m late talking to you. I have to catch up. On Thursday, which it is now, I should have 37,099 words. As it stands, I have 33,400. Nobody would know or care if I gave up or cheated through creation. Only like Inky Johnson, I can’t cheat. I just admitted to doing that? 100 words, no writing. Writing 600 more past midnight?

I walked out on the Day Job this week, so I won’t be working for or writing a paycheck next week. Inspector Echo, that’s not my story. Sometime this afternoon, I got jealous of Eric Vall. He’s on “Succubus Lord 16” on top of everything else he’s written, but I know my lane, don’t I?

I’m sorry, but I’m writing regardless. Will Knows His Writes.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 348 ~Don’t Be WEEK Will~

It’s times like these I tell myself, I’m going to do better. I have an entire week to do what I love, and that’s writing or do I want to go back to the Day Job and “Home & Kids” (shudders). Don’t Be WEEK Will but more like bright future whoever.

Saturday, June 13, 2020

Log 348 ~Don’t Be WEEK Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I shouldn’t be WEAK, right? All this past WEEK, I’ve woken up at 4 AM, survived the world I was given. Hell, I still have the Day Job. Should I mention every slight, sin, and sorry not sorry I’ve had to contend with? If anything, now is the time for strength, to speak, and yes for Team Skeet, AHEM Alex Tanner “My Sister Is A H*e.” If I were a better man, well, no, a Christian, I would be praying for my friend right now. If but to share good vibes and positive thoughts, right?

What about me, though, and my selfishness? Yeah, this talk is brought to you by the letter S. The fact right now that I want to be WEAK this minute and go back to sleep. I want to sin right now and give into lust. I want to say hello and help my friend, but I’m afraid. You know what scared me the most, though during this week… looking STUPID. I still hate saying that word, and right now, I should be feeling super. All I am now is sticky. Relax Lady Lu, I spilled a soda and didn’t shower after, only changed my clothes.

Something I won’t be doing a lot of this coming WEEK as I checked my Day Job schedule. I don’t want to be every other week Will. I have seven days and not like when I’m there, trying to make it only another day. Okay, the question becomes, what am I going to do with them. I should say something to my friend. I’m still no saint, but I’ve spent 24 days, not playing Shaft if you know what I mean. Some might say I should seek salvation, or should I trust that my story will save me these days.

Tomorrow I will tell myself to be better. Yeah, then I’ll do something silly instead of singing, “I can’t live my life This Way.” What about my son? I should get up right now and walk in the sunshine because, how long has this conversation taken. Oh, you mean between looking up porn and song lyrics. Wanting to be a saint but living as a sinner. I’m seeing the destruction of the country as I’m surfing YouTube as per usual.

I say, don’t be weak. Will, Don’t Be WEEK Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 347 ~Chalk It Up, Willy~

Can I read the writing on the wall because I couldn’t see it on the chalkboard when I was a kid, so that explains my grades, but it wasn’t as if they were teaching the facts of life or anything? “Chalk It Up, Willy”

Friday, June 12, 2020

Log 347 ~Chalk It Up, Willy~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I probably have someone taking my calls, messages, etc.

The problem is, nobody knows me that well, and like the dumbest president in history, I must explain myself. It’s like being back in school, I could never see the writing on the wall, or the chalkboard, yeah my bad.

Is it any wonder my usual writing is always a mess? Hell, I’m still “agonizing” over my time traveling ways from Grateful Reasons 259 to 260. Today, let me focus on the writing of others, who are nine times out of ten women; surprise, surprise. Right now, my favorite is MILF Dos. I’ll admit I didn’t know she could be so naughty but her messages? Every time I get one, I jump with excitement, and for once, I’m not fearing my phone. Again my glimpses of the future usually don’t pan out, but what I see with this incredible beauty?

For one thing, she reminds me of one of my top five favorite books. I’m a man of contradiction because this particular book was written by a man. W. Anton talks about how a woman will LIE to everyone else for a guy she likes. Talk about no higher compliment.

“A woman will call in sick to stay in bed with you in the morning if you have time off from work but she doesn’t, and girls will tell their mothers all kinds of creative stories to avoid going back home at night when they like you a lot.”
― W. Anton, The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them

“For example, just enjoy the show when a young girl is sitting naked in your bed and her mother calls her asking where she has been all night, and she starts making up a random story about sleeping over at a friend’s house because the last night bus — that she was supposed to go home with — never arrived, and she did not want to call and wake anyone up, then the batteries in her phone died all of a sudden, but right now she is sitting in a taxi on her way home, but there is so much traffic that it might take a long while until she is back home.”
― W. Anton, The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them

Then there are the women who insult you, like my boss. I don’t know what excuse she’s writing down as to why I won’t work today. Didn’t I tell her the truth, Lady Sophia? I hate working HOME & KIDS. You know how I feel about feet, so no SHOES. I worked AMAZON for five minutes and had a Panic Attack. So sitting here right now, there’s a tinge of guilt that I’m not going because I can’t take it. She might start writing something else for me… I’m glad I finished my book yesterday.

As for other writers, well, I’m still not talking to Cherry. She hasn’t written anything to me since I sent her a few chapters of my book. I have a tendency to write the wrong thing. It’s like quoting that song Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off. M Anime is soothed at the moment. The text the two of us pass over so many days, talk about, going the distance. Of course, Indiana Gone is my constant and second BFF next to my kid. MILF Dos, though, wow THE FEELS.

Always revising my reading list, well, Chalk It Up, Willy.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 345 ~Willing Big Boy Pants~

The problem with pants, besides not being able to keep them on, or keep money in them, how much I hate McDonald’s right now and let’s not even talk about the Day Job… Willing Big Boy Pants; to stand up as a man

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Log 345 ~Willing Big Boy Pants~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t mean you’ll catch me in a tux. Hell, how many people have seen me naked? Still, Inspector Echo, my mouth is more a problem than one more “Head.” How about Dua Lipa singing, “I can’t teach a man how to wear his pants.”

So I sit here this morning with no pants but soon. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Back when I was in school, I was only trying to keep them on. I got pantsed more than a few times. Even when I had a belt that didn’t stop people from attaching, panties to my jeans. Hell to think nowadays, I don’t mind showing off my body and am actively trying to get women to take their clothes off. We’ll get to that, don’t you worry. The fact remains at this moment that the last thing that I want to do is put on pants. I credit Rocko’s Modern Life with teaching me how to adult. Did Rocko, ever wear pants? Well, at least I’m not looking at porn and to answer the question, yes. I have to wear pants to feed the Pup, to keep an inch of tenuous Power. I “Profit” and to work on my real Purpose in life.

Now I say PROFIT, Mr. Has His Shoes In The Freezer So They Won’t Smell. Yeah, I’m too cheap to buy new ones. You remember how people would talk about boys sagging pants? Again I know how to use a belt but not how to keep a few bucks in my pocket. So what did I spend money on this week? Yes, we’ll talk about it, but let’s say I hate having things in common with this President. I won’t buy necessities, but I always find room in the budget for something or someone beautiful.

Why bother wearing pants when I don’t have any balls? “But real gangsta-ass (people) don’t flex nuts” as the song goes. It’s so not the time I know, in a variety of ways. Didn’t stop me yesterday, though, so here we go. Here I am putting money down, and for what? Boobs, Butts, Bare Naked as always but would settle for at least a conversation. I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, for the belt that’s coming soon. The lost bucks and boob obsession. Willing Big Boy Pants.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 343 ~Want Is Just Another Virus~

Ignorance and Want only it’s nowhere near Christmas, I know, but if I ever have the money? Well, considering how I feel about the Day Job or the things I actually want to do for a living, I can tell you “stuff” I want. Want Is Just Another Virus

Monday, June 8, 2020

Log 343 ~Want Is Just Another Virus~

Hundred And Forty Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now… or how I want to be. Now, this is the perfect rule for right this second. It’s times like these, I realize that I have a problem. THEY talk about how “some” black men emulate Tony Montana. The Money, Power, Women, Gimme.

It’s no secret that this week I want, hell, I need money. I ought to be ashamed, Madam Justice. Only today (Saturday) I had a full day, and what have I done with it? To my shame, I slept, and Eric Thomas often talks about being willing to give up sleep. There’s also the fact I wanted that so badly I didn’t get myself a snack. How much will it cost to get over my fear of being awake? Even now, I checked out my schedule for next week and what do think I saw. SHOES, HOME & KIDS, dammit, I want money, so I’ll never have to listen to these STUPID people ever again. Now isn’t that the dream, and sounding like Trump? I do think having money does make you deaf. Of course, I hear everything which tells you all about my finances.

You know I’m one to quote Master Yoda, Fear, Anger, Hate, Suffering. Money leads to Power or the whole Rock, Paper, Scissors Dynamic. Power, Knowledge, Money. Money buys Power, Knowledge can take Money, Power crushes Knowledge. I want the power to not look STUPID. At this time, I want enough strength to stand up to my boss. Anger makes me sick, Madam Justice. I would say it makes me powerful, but here I am like a lamb to the slaughter and why? A Black woman and now ain’t the time.

What, for women? As Jake Morgendorffer put it, “God, God, Dammit,” how do you think I woke up after my nap? Drooling over “Specs,” Alyson Hannigan, and I’ll take a shot at saying Alison Rey because I need to stop looking at porn. I’m a master detective when it comes to that but can’t find one old lady, an electric knife. Even with NO FAP, I’m going crazy, and I want to… well, go off like a fire hose. I remember the words satisfaction is the death of desire, and that’s why I’m a dead man most of the time.

At least want shows I’m still fighting or about to. Want Is Just Another Virus.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 342 ~Will Gets The Boot…~

I heard a song once say, we’ll put a boot in your ”butt” it’s the American way. Yeah, one of the few songs I blocked on Spotify though I have a Playlist called Someone SHOE Me. Will Gets The Boot, I’m always running trying to avoid it.

Sunday, June 7, 2020

Log 342 ~Will Gets The Boot…~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but if you need a timeframe, what about two weeks from now? One more reason I gave up comedy, my parents tried to tell me I’m not funny. So Good, Bad, And Ugly, it is then, or in reverse. Yeah, how do I even walk sometimes? SIGH.

Okay, let’s try this again, AHEM; things have gotten UGLY in my universe. At The Day Job, I told the GM that I’m not doing Home & Kids and Shoes anymore. You’ll have a job next week, no worries, “Brah,” but the week after? Hell, it always seems like my feet are still where they don’t need to be. Either running out the door like a coward. I stuck my foot in my mouth, telling the GM anything at all. Finally, I’m being lazy, as I’m still sitting here in bed instead of doing, well, anything. Will I get five thousand words done today and when it’s your turn. Yeah, that’s right, back to time traveling or trying to because again last week wiped me out. You’ll use the same excuse won’t you, the Day Job yet Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 018 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Five “GULP” Poems Daily
    Completed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Losing The Day Job Now
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late by Colleen Hoover
    Failed

Bad enough that you’re holding on to three, maybe even two. As I said, I didn’t lose the Day Job, but who knows. Even now, I know you feel like backtracking, that you’re terrified. You’re still sitting here, and come next week, you’ll be on your knees and why. One word, “Institutionalized.” Now don’t go feeling like one of those STUPID entitled white people wanting a haircut. You could use one by the way, and I tried, but I would have to CALL Supercuts, so no. Anyway trapped by work, chasing money, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 018 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Five “GULP” Poems Daily
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Learning About The Day Job Now
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late by Colleen Hoover

So now we’re at the GOOD. Please forgive the language, but your dick is pointed in the right direction. Hard as ever and not one day has gone by where I’ve avoided porn. If I had to name a few top contenders, those whose names I could find, Stalker Much?

  1. Chloe Toy
  2. Cayla Lyons
  3. Dillion Harper
  4. Riley Reid
  5. Shayla Jennings
  6. Tifa Lockhart (Purple Dress) Final Fantasy Remake
  7. Kagney Linn Karter
  8. Bridget Marquardt

“Hello Nurse,” as the Animaniacs would often say. Can’t forget about MILF Dos, of course, why ruin a friendship? Speaking of which still not talking to Cherry. What about that blonde at the Day Job?

So exhausted as you will be, Will Gets The Boot.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 341 ~Someone SHOE Me, Will~

One of the worst weeks at the Day Job and that is saying a lot but I haven’t walked out for good, no not yet. Only with all this walking, I have been doing, why couldn’t I do anything a bit more constructive. Someone SHOE Me, Will

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Log 341 ~Someone SHOE Me, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and more than ever, I want that private beach. There are pictures of me on a beach, not that I was allowed to keep any of them. Don’t ever ask me why I have no good memories of my childhood. I don’t have one picture to prove it. Now I don’t mean to be so cranky this Thursday morn or however long it takes to have this chat. By the time you read this, one of the worst weeks of my life has ended. Hell, how do I even keep score? Yesterday (Wednesday), I thought, no one counts days in Hell.

Of course, that was at the Day Job, the SHOE department. Talk about the Law of Attraction. Was this me talking about feet a few days back? Knowing the schedule made me think about my feet. Perhaps I’m feeling, defeated, yeah, not funny, I know. At least My Dæmon took it easy on me this morning. No walk for him, and shouldn’t I be worried? He hates getting old, the rain, and that I’m not sharing. Okay, for the moment at least. Speaking of walking nowhere, how about all the marches, protests, and riots going on. Running for Amaud, Marches for George Floyd, and we can’t forget about Breonna Taylor. Being Black in America, Lady Luna is something. The thing is I have a hard enough time only being me.

Do you want to take a walk in my shoes? If the Day Job is any indication, I intend not to wear any for plenty of reasons. Again the SHOE department is nowhere I want to be, and neither is Home And Kids. I would say I’m sick of running away and trust me, I am. Yet I want to be like Shaka Zulu, in some ways mind you. I want to stop running towards my bed and start running towards glory. With all this NO FAP going on (16 days, 21 hr, 42 min, 50 sec), I should be playing twenty toes. I’ll even admit to enjoying a bubble bath with a good book. Nowadays, I put my feet up for ten minutes at a time to read Too Late by Colleen Hoover. It seems though I still can’t keep up, even with my time traveling ways, what’s today?

Walk With Me… no Lady Luna, Someone Shoe Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 340 ~What You Know Will~

I hate to lie because people don’t want the truth. Well, there seems to be a lot of that going around, or at least there was when I wrote this, but if I dare call myself a prophet, I know I’m not okay, and I shouldn’t write that. “What You Know Will”

Friday, June 5, 2020

Log 340 ~What You Know Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m “gonna have a Good Day,” a Lovely Day on Easy Street. The thing is I hate writing lies. Not fiction but lies, and so you know I’m no prophet, it still being Monday and all. Here’s my point. I’m always saying what I should write and then censoring (sometimes) what I shouldn’t be. Seeing as how I’m still awake after a not quite so bad day at the Day Job, I want to come right out with it. What Lady Sophia; still hating the phrase “How Are You Today” and “What You Know.”

I shouldn’t be writing of Kagney Linn Karter. Now I could go on for some time about this not being my fault or a plethora of excuses. You know the ole picture and a thousand words stick? Well her look, led to her name, EvilAngel.com, Downloads, and Little Kimberley. Yes, Lady Sophia, I always start with the porn and my wallet on that note. I saw something from MILF Dos, and is that um opportunity? Doubtful, but as of the 1st, I’m going on two weeks of NO FAP, madness?

In my dreams, and I shouldn’t be writing in my sleep. I’m so tired, though, and again this is after a somewhat decent day. Shoes will be so much worse. I only felt like punching one person today. Now, what did I say about lying, two at the most, okay? SIGH, it vexes me. Considering everything going on in this country and I want to harm another black man. How about COVID-19 cancels the rest of the workweek, hmm? That sounds pretty bad, but the Day Job is that horrible.

I need the money though besides paying off a would-be “model” and what about McDonald’s. You know how I have to check the prices on my phone before I go anywhere, but I didn’t, no, not this time. Well, my lunch budget is blown for the rest of the week. Damn, the one thing I don’t need to be writing about is ANXIETY, the Law of Attraction being what it is. Only I write about everything, and here we are. A journal, a blog is one big, How Are You.

Three different timeframes, right now I’m tired, at the Day Job, in a rage or scared, on Friday, hopefully relieved. Still What You Know Will?

I Will Have No Fear