Legacy 096 -Braxton And Virgil Barker-

Monday, October 5, 2026

Legacy 096 -Braxton And Virgil Barker-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? Father, my father, you don’t know whether to cry or rage.

Bark. It did wonders for me. And Virgil? We are our father’s sons. Bradford men. Not only the barker and the whiner. Do you think that’s why he’s been crying so much the past few days? Not hurt, and tis the season for ghosts. Is that what I am? Seriously!

Bradford, that’s my last name; don’t wear it out. But you’ve been tired of it since… Well, before we ever even met. But when we did, “From that day on, I made a vow. I’ll be there when you want me. Some way, somehow.” Would you at that, Dad? I can sing too, can’t I? And you, Dad? You were ready to war and rampage. Well, maybe not all that, but get smart, I think…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Oh look, I got dressed all by myself today so La-da-da-da-dah…” Who am I to tell you what to say, Dad? How many mornings, for how many years, did you listen to me bark obscenities to anyone outside ‘our chamber door’? Edgar Allen Poe? You can’t say it’s his voice you’ve been hearing in books lately. You don’t know how much I miss that, Dad.

Lying on the couch with you as you read. Not that it was boring. No, no! It was our thing.

On an evening such as this. When it was hard to tell if I exist… What Dad? You sing and/or paraphrase songs all the time? And I am my father’s son. But I do miss these evenings. They were easy.

I was about to say that barking was hard. But you know more than anyone that making noise is too damn easy. It’s the quiet that annoys, aggravates, and gets your attention. It was with me anyway. All the crying in the world, but when I stopped those years ago…

And maybe that’s why I’m here tonight. We both value the peace and quiet, father.

However, that’s not the quiet that you have been finding all this time, hmm. Your quiet is like mine, and ending. You need the noise, the ruckus, the madness, but not from others, my father. Yours. And no, I won’t go all Sara Bareilles\Katy Perry Brave\Roar. We are Bradford men now and always. But to bark… Braxton And Virgil Barker

“The real question is this, what do we want to be?”
― Dystopian Girls 6

“Let me rage before I die.”
― Virgil, The Aeneid

2073 Days Without B III, Day 1514 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Legacy 095 -B+ Weakness For Virgil-

I am not weak. I lost my Kindle reading streak, and I was all about getting it back. I’ll go and lift for hours at the Day Job to be broke. But when it comes to being a literary dynamo, loving a good woman, and “Life Itself…” “B+ Weakness For Virgil”

Sunday, October 4, 2026

Legacy 095 -B+ Weakness For Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And honestly, you don’t know how you’ll make it through the week. You’re weak already. You’re lying.

Headache, Hearing Loss (Virgil’s Crying), Her Humps (M Anime’s ass, more importantly YABBOS), Hating the Day Job, Hurts after the headache, How to make an all-natural ant killer, the list goes on… “And the Beat Goes On.” And what’s with all the H bombs, hmm

Preparation H because all these things “Ready Or Not” are on your ass. Your face?

Honestly tis the season for masks. But if you’re writing means anything… Newsflash: it doesn’t. But The Unfinished Archive and all. “Who Are You”? The Sorcerer Will, or so you wish. Um, Insect Man “Kick Ass 2” has more credibility. What is one more weakness?

Weaknesses? Hell! Since we’re already ripping off music and movies, there’s an epidemic of laziness and less Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Copilot by Luke Witten
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“The Long Walk”? You’d say, feeling the need to steal is quite a weakness. Movies, Music, Manuscripts, etc. Because your own words are never enough. And you could also bring up the “Great Fear.” You know the one using the Magic Glasses/MIMA. The one that had me looking out the window when I hear sirens. And now you have a whole week of waiting at the Day Job. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day. Again, the fucking week.

Seriously, if this were the First Circle of Hell in the Succubus Lord series, this would be one of those annoyances or inconveniences. You can ‘get it up’ for everything that doesn’t matter. Your vices, weaknesses, all the X-Rated crap. Ignoring yabbos? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

But the big weaknesses. FEAR, STUPIDITY, SLOTH, ANGER, LUST, in no particular order. And TIME? Wouldn’t that go with SLOTH? TIME will be a bigger factor this week on top of your exhaustion. You’re too tired of having no time. How do you fix that?

Really… That time came and went a long time ago. It was you sitting in classrooms figuring out a thousand ways to fail. It was you listening to all those motivations as you came and went from the library, and you sat in a McDonald’s drive-thru. It was sitting on the backyard porch with Braxton before ants destroyed it. Getting naked in the kitchen, thinking about M Anime, then… Ants. You’re not weak. You waste weeks. B+ Weakness For Virgil

2072 Days Without B III, Day 1513 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 092 -B’s For Breathing, Virgil-

Out of sight, out of mind. But in sleep, I’m still breathing. As I slept, an angel watched over me—my B. Now, as I shut my eyes tightly, I imagine his beautiful stepmom, my girlfriend. But I’m awake; I breathe; I’m scared. “B’s For Breathing, Virgil”

Thursday, October 1, 2026

Legacy 092 -B’s For Breathing, Virgil-

2069 Days Without B III, Day 1510 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Your brother is alive. M Anime wants to have my babies. No banging…

I mean, on the door, of course, B III. Not the cops/FBI, not my Old Man, or anyone I owe.

Yet… I smile? No B. “I feel STUPID.” Your Dad is a “Savage,” ask M Anime. Eww! You don’t need to know that. But for the most part, your Daddy is scared. Fuck! What now?

“The horror! The horror!”
Kurtz

Language! I know, Baby B. I wouldn’t want to scare Virgil. Hell, we’re both terrified.

Braxton, why must your Dad live in this constant state of FEAR? No germ, contagion, disease, virus, or plague is as inane, insidious, infectious, and insane as FEAR. Uh, HATRED and STUPIDITY would like to bark in here. But today B III there is FEAR.

Braxton, I need one of those waking up seeing you…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Breaths… That’s what I didn’t tell your Potential Future Stepmom this morning. I damn well might have been happy every afternoon after the Bad Place. I would nap, and then when I woke up, There You’ll Be. Talk about without the presence of FEAR, Braxton.

Your Potential Future Stepmom has that power too. Again, I was talking to her this morning, and when I lose the ability to think, ONLY breathe, I’m uttering every OBSCENITY, and the words “Oh yeah” seem boring, but everything is OKAY. And why is that? Because M Anime has a perfect set of yabbos but was marveling at Angie Griffin’s

And isn’t that why I’m in trouble? Not with her…

I was “Barely Breathing” when M Anime and I were apart. But she’s been nearly this whole year. And speaking of this whole year, now I’m scared again. Stalking FEAR…

That I do Braxton, every day I need to find something else to scare me. And here I was thinking that once I escaped Emergence month. What? Would October be less terrifying, hmm? Yesterday B was for bugs, bug spray, broken house things (toilet), and buying cleaning supplies, with what, a couple of hundred bucks. Banging, Breaking, boys in blue

I hope not, because who would see to your brother? I beg, I give my blessing, I believe your brother won’t be afraid someday. I can’t tell myself that because I know the man, the boy I am. Braxton, M Anime… B’s For Breathing, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 089 -Bees Dreaming Awakens Virgil-

Was my firstborn also my therapist? 15 years would be enough to drive anyone insane. Dog years? No wonder his little brother is hiding somewhere. I had to track him down in my dream. My girlfriend gave me the AI analysis. Bees Dreaming Awakens Virgil

Monday, September 28, 2026

Legacy 089 -Bees Dreaming Awakens Virgil-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? I’m still kinda buzzed since Friday. What! We were celebrating.

Not E-Day. Never Emergence Day. But you and Virgil ate slightly like kings, right, Dad?

Or is “Two Princes” more appropriate? Not to brag, but a lot of women loved my brother and me. But “Make Way For The King.” That is what you are to us. I know you’re thinking I must be drunk, delusional, or dreaming. I wonder which one is true, Daddy.

When you were busy talking to yourself yesterday, you brought up “Happy” moments of us. I know that’s a bad word. But you were something, and I must have been drunk when my Favorite Girl made me food, and I could only stare. I was, I can’t believe it, Full.

Delusional… The Rainbow Bridge? “Not Quite Paradise.” But feels like…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Home? Now that is a dream. And I know where you’re going with this, my father, so I’m going to stop you right there. You had an actual dream last night that you told…Her… M

Dad, I’m not jealous of Miss M Anime. If anything, it says… Girlfriend before son?

Never, ever. Even if I’m up here, The Unfinished Archive, or Quinn Manor/The Fort, hmm

Anyway, your dream, my father: You were in the Manor looking for my brother. You could hear Virgil barking. It was from the top floor, but there were no stairs. But you found a way to the balcony (Unknown Method), and you passed through a sunroom where Hayley Maeda was singing “Tonight.” You fell back to the first floor. Then you started building a tower of furniture to climb up.

Virgil was literally stretching a white wall, his face trying to get out. You grabbed hold, and the white paint broke, and he was free. You jumped down, carrying him, running away from the mansion, but it was no longer The Fort for “Into The Badlands”; it was Halliwell Manor. It was torn apart like something from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Then The Fort took its place again. A man who was a mix of “John” from The Simpsons and Peter Gallagher “Buddy Kane” walked up a quite visible central staircase and looked, saying, “This is quite the mess.” He wore a blue bowler shirt with a black collar and a black medical bag. Such a dream, Dad. Bees Dreaming Awakens Virgil

“Fuck!” I repeated my word of the day as I raised up onto both feet.”
Dystopian Girls 6, Rodzil LaBraun

Cease to dream that heaven’s decrees may be turned aside by prayer.
― The Aeneid

2066 Days Without B III, Day 1507 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Legacy 088 -Pawsing Braxton And Virgil-

I’m somewhat paws off with V. Dad has too much to do, and I can’t pause everything. But I do. Because of writing… PAIN, FEAR, and my everyday STUPIDITY. Or is it insanity? I tried to pause B’s life to become successful. Ha! Pawsing Braxton And Virgil

Sunday, September 27, 2026

Legacy 088 -Pawsing Braxton And Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And when you pause here in the bathroom, at a mirror column at the Day Job, Virgil

Just one more reason it hurts to look at him sometimes. Yes, you’re failing him too. And it’s only been ten hours. But what you mean is, when you see your reflection in his eyes.

Could you wanna take my picture?
‘Cause I won’t remember
Take a Picture
Filter (1999)

But you do remember… PAIN. As you fuck FEAR. What would you call this relationship?

You feel FEAR like you care for M Anime or love your boys. Perpetual. Eternal. Always and Forever. Thus, HAPPINESS is an impossibility if FEAR is Eternal. Is it paused?

Honestly, does PAIN pause? You know better than to ask B and V’s potential future stepmom. It’s one reason you get along so well. Between her physical and your mental…

That isn’t to say you don’t both have issues, but seriously, your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Teachers: A Single Dad Harem
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But since I didn’t bother to think of these things. I offer you some other mental gymnastics vis-à-vis The Unfinished Archive. The Magic Glasses/MIMA being a PAIN means you need to think for yourself at least until you can unpause your existence. How to think?

Why Obsidian Stone? Black Volcanic Glass. A different type of “Black Mirror.” It’s stronger than Brimstone. So when you’re creating your most beautiful hellish world…

Red, Yellow, Green Moons? A stoplight. Blood moon for past blood. Pale yellow for present fear and pain. Green: Go, whether wanted or not. The Moon controls the tides always.

Archive Numbers: Sorcerer, Two Sons. Ten Harem Sisters. Ten Named Acolytes of Bible Black\Black Bible Sisterhood. Three Enemies. Two Subordinates???

Pause Reality. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

You’ve been thinking about how you can pause the bad things and live inside them.

Think Ellone from Final Fantasy VIII. Why can’t you pause the good things? When you want to pause the next bad thing from happening, you stay in bed. You sleep. Because when you’re asleep, the monsters can’t get you. It’s probably why I favored the loveseat, and you might too. Leaving means getting in bed. And while you love bed… The sooner you go to bed, the sooner you have to wake up, and there’s FEAR and PAIN. And since comedy comes in threes, STUPIDITY. Past PAIN red. Current STUPIDITY yellow. And FEAR goes green. But a good dinner, a great orgasm, and green dollars. Somehow. Pawsing Braxton And Virgil

2065 Days Without B III, Day 1506 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

“I never bawled!” A Christmas Story. It’s two weeks and change past “E-Day,” and it’s already “Christmas Time In Hell,” or the Bad Place, as my boys bark. But I’m not crying about it, playing around, and “I Won’t Dance.” Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling.

Thursday, September 24, 2026

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

2062 Days Without B III, Day 1503 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? “Fighting and trouble are my middle name.” Yours, “Barks”; your brother’s “Vivi”.

“Duh”! I want to avoid talking about today. I don’t want to talk about next week either, B. Damned if I do work and damned if I don’t. Why can’t this be work? Braxton side-eye

I haven’t bawled over you and Virgil much this week. And maybe I should… Keep my eyes nice and lubricated. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t worried about going blind since all the bugs, the bug spray, and any other bullshit getting in my eyes. Even now…

Alice Braga and Mark Ruffalo in “The Blindness”. Seriously? I’d say I should send you to time-out, but I did that permanently five years ago. There I go crying again. “Stop Crying Your Heart Out,” right? Or “Eat More Chicken.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

It beats the alternative, though. “’Cause we men, ain’t we?” “Glory” be! We are but men, Braxton. You, Virgil, and I. You licking your downstairs. Me and your potential future stepmom, and Virgil is looking for something of his own. Like father, like son, balless.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. Your brother and I are both cowards. But then I go talking to M Anime, and I’m all “Balls Deep In Love.” I know B III, I really do. Ahem, ew.

But I did promise to find you a mom someday… Stepmom. Speaking of promises, B…

We’re still in Emergence Day month, and with my last paycheck… Uh oh! I was thinking I could get that Emergence Day dinner I couldn’t afford on the day. Work?

The Bad Place. This week and last have not been a ball. And this coming week, I go back to being broke. I even wasted twenty bucks at the food truck today. Shared with Virgil…

And as far as broke, that’s what I was doing at the Bad Place today. I had to break a pallet that was stuck on the pallet jack this morning. In front of so many babes… Uh, boobs/yabbos… Not quite… Busybodies? B, for all intents and purposes, it was humiliation galore. I felt like bawling. And I don’t mean playing b-ball- the real ick, B.

Bawling my eyes out, drooling over M Anime’s big beautiful yabbos, even balling as in playing Whiteout Survival. Life’s no ball. Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 082 -Plan-V in Ten, Braxton-

Plans for tomorrow? Hell plans for tonight. If I’m in bed before midnight, I’ll take the W. And that’s after dinner. Speaking of which. What about dinner tomorrow and the day after? Making V less afraid? Loving M Anime? B III? Plan-V in Ten, Braxton.

Monday, September 21, 2026

Legacy 082 -Plan-V in Ten, Braxton-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? Schrödinger’s Cat. You know how I feel about that, my father.

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” Uh, my little brother. And you refer to Virgil, and I’s future potential stepmom, as your “Goddess”. Not to be confused with “The Goddess” Alexa Bliss. But these days you prefer Roxanne Perez more. You and Latinas.

Like Miss M Anime didn’t “influence” you. Seriously, Dad, like father and like son. Ok.

Schrödinger’s Cat. You don’t know if your day is good or bad until you open your eyes and see. And then you treat the day like a box. Today is worse than yesterday, and tomorrow will be worse than today. You just don’t know, and then at the same time…

Daddy, you always know. In ten minutes you say that the day will get worse.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But that’s ok. As the world will end in five minutes. What am I to say to that, my father?

If anyone should know anything about boxes, it’s me. That’s a low blow, right, Dad?

Honestly, the last time you opened that box, my box was on Wednesday, February 10, 2021. Plan B. Plan me. So M Anime shouldn’t be worried; you still plan on giving her a ton of babies. Name one of those two-leggeds after me, ok? But the keyword there is plan.

Plan, project, prophesy, plot, produce, put something on paper that doesn’t involve making Virgil and I siblings. Whatever keeps you alive and makes you money.

Seriously, Dad, I’m no businessman, contrary to that “Def Jam: Fight for NY” phase, right?

Soon after, the makings of The Unfinished Archive began. And that’s the thing, my father.

If you want to “finish (it)”, awesome, attaboy, always and forever cheering you on, Dad.

But it’s the idea of you not finishing life but placing yourself in a place to live it. Do you remember that quote from Sunday, the one from The Count of Monte Cristo? Legacy 081 B Sells Zzz’s, Virgil. When you plan, it’s as if you have to survive Purge Night, living a bit on Baker Street, hmm, or a day in your own Archive. And that shows everything, Dad.

You’re not on Plan V. Virgil’s life, like yours, at forty-two, forty-two, and forty-two begins

Now! Like Father, like Son, ALIVE. Plan-V in Ten, Braxton

“It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
Michael Kewley

“I have given them an empire that will know no end.”
―

2059 Days Without B III, Day 1500 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Legacy 081 -B Sells Zzz’s, Virgil-

Wake up! Too bad I don’t have Laurence Fishburne, aka Vaughn “Dap” Dunlap, call to action as a ringtone. Would it help? I could hear B III’s paw steps from anywhere. V’s cries. And if I see M Anime’s yabbos. I’m Wide Awake. But B Sells Zzz’s, Virgil.

Sunday, September 20, 2026

Legacy 081 -B Sells Zzz’s, Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Can you even see me? Bug Spray? Building a business? An empire? You’d go back to bed…

And that says it all, doesn’t it? If there was a button that you could press and you’d never need to leave your bed again, would you press it? Moment, minute, second. Just say now.

And what’s scary is that there is a way to do just that. But first and always there’s B III.

Like you said. B Sells Zzz’s, not Mmm, Ahh, “Brains,” or whatever it is zombies say these days. Your way of saying you’re not joining the ranks of the dead. But you can dream, ha

And you can sing, Look at me, look at me. Just called to say that it’s good to be Alive…”

“Look at me, look at me
Just called to say that it’s good to be
Alive in such a small world
I’m all curled up with a book to read”

I’m sure Virgil is happy to hear that. Are you happy failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Caught in the Act – a SHORT erotic babysitter story
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You know what’s heartbreaking about this list? Nothing on it inspired me to do anything.

And you? So what’s not on the list? Your boys’ lives. Your livelihood? M Anime?

Honestly, you have a beautiful woman who loves you, and as Jacopo told Edmond Dantes:

“You have a fortune. A beautiful woman who loves you. Take the money, take the woman, and live your life. Stop this plan. Take what you have won”
― Jacopo

Well, not the fortune part, but you have potential. Fucking hate that word. But anyway.

For her… There was a time you would have given that fortune that you don’t have to see her naked. All it took was time. And isn’t that it? Time, you waste it fucking always.

Seriously, you would be thinking about “Someone To Say?” Oh no, you’re not Cyrano, but:

“I’d give anything for someone to say that they can’t live without me and they’ll be there forever”
Cyrano (2021)

Now that you have her, the girl of your dreams, there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

And you continue dreaming about Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town). You dream your life away. And I tried. Braxton knows I tried to prepare for you. What?

Staying awake. For what? For you? And who are you? That changes whether you fall asleep with your tablet in your hand. Please don’t “bean” Virgil. You pass out sleeping on the loveseat. You’re in a freaking coma with your pants around your ankles. Yabbos… Staring at yabbos, especially M Anime’s. And when was the last time you went to bed on time? I guess we’ll have to see. “The future is comin’ on.” Yours, Braxton’s (Memory), Virgil, M Anime, and more? When you want everything as bad as your sleep… B Sells Zzz’s, Virgil.

2058 Days Without B III, Day 1499 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

It’s not even Halloween yet. E-Day has been over. The most horrific day ever was back in January. But today I’m in line, crying over my boy, money slipping away, worried about every blip in my vision, etc. The Horror, the horror! Horrors B And V

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

2055 Days Without B III, Day 1496 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? I can’t get that Michael Kewley quote out of my mind, B.

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

Here in my car, I feel safest of all… Ok, No. Your Dad is a liar, but I’m one for an earworm. Um, sounds terrible, doesn’t it? Somewhat like, “slept like a rock.” Headstone? Graveyard.

But I’m not scared of dying, Braxton. Is it that I will ALWAYS be in mourning over you, or is it all the freaking spooky season crap at the Day Job? Two things being true…

Honestly… Today, while I worked in fear within the Bad Place, as you and your brother think of it. As I sat in terror in the car. As I woke in horror of having to come and talk to you…

I love you, B and 2-V… But allow me to rip off Alice in Wonderland.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Six Things That Scare Me:

1: Forgetting You, Failing Virgil. It just popped in my head today. Greatest love I’ve ever known, you and 2-V

2: Losing Your Potential Stepmom. I cried over you. And she hates me comparing. You and her are my heart.

3: My Eyes, My Eyes. I ‘thought’ I got bug spray in my eyes after recent events. I’m not blind

4: The Black Ant Incursion. Carpenter Ants destroyed the backyard shed last year. Now little ants on the kitchen floor.

5: Leaving The Bad Place. We hate it, Little B. But I got called into the office yesterday… Moving shelves

6: I Need Money, B. You’d be proud, Braxton. I shared fries with your brother. But $250 a week! Fuck!

And I should watch my language, I know. Such a small word, but with such a big impact. B III. And with all these words, what? Am I building a life? You don’t need happiness.

But that’s what I was thinking about… “No presence of fear.” When I was a Senior in high school, after the homecoming pep rally for about five minutes. Whenever I would wake up and see you sitting at the foot of the bed. To my fears. You shall not pass!

Seriously, you don’t want to know this one, B. But when me and your stepmom make you and Virgil some siblings. Man is a small word. I Love You is a small phrase. Why not FEAR? Horrors B And V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 075 -Braxton, Virgil, Worrying Bites-

I work… Is this work? I work, I create, I innovate, and I demonstrate my incompetence. And that doesn’t worry me? No more than listening to my son bark from wherever. No, today, it’s bugs, my eye, the Day Job, and KFC. Braxton, Virgil, Worrying Bites

Monday, September 14, 2026

Legacy 075 -Braxton, Virgil, Worrying Bites-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? It’s 3 AM and “whatever bitter brew you’re drinkin’” What, Bloom?

I remember when you were all about 5-hour Energy. All the times when I would get my mid-morning Z’s under the table and your eyes would be stuck on the Glow Box. And you would always tell me how when you were done, we’d have fun and go outside, Dad.

Done? You didn’t mean with the day, the do’s and don’ts; it was a ton of those, I know, right? Being my Dad. Always and Forever my Dad. Like that movie we saw, First Knight:

“Brother to brother, yours in life and death.”
First Knight

That you never need worry about, my father. “I’m Still Here.” “I’m Still Standing,” Dad. Yes, “I’m still standing! I’m still strong!” Like father, like son. And no, I don’t mean everything in the Glow Box. You’ll turn that off.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But buying my brother more French Fries (that’s what you call those fry golden stick things, I like…) My Future Potential Stepmom. And what isn’t to be always and forever:

“It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”

  • Michael Kewley –

You’ve been thinking about this a lot, my father. It’s nice to have it defined; at least I know finally. It’s why I always, always, ALWAYS wanted to be so brave. What took me down?

You worry it was your indifference near the end. You worry it was you, period. You worry that there is worry in a place like this, where I am. Always full of worry, my father.

Because you can’t get full of anything else. Food? You’re still worried about walking into the kitchen. Too much fun. Dad, you fuck around plenty.

LANGUAGE! Yes, Dad, I know, I know, watch what I bark. However, you don’t disagree.

And even before you met Miss M Anime or my Favorite Girl, you had your “big sister” who told you why you found it so easy to starve yourself, which is ‘pretty reckless,’ I think.

Look who’s talking, right? I didn’t eat either, and yet I was so full of love for you, of memories of being a good boy, your son, and there was worry, not an ending knowledge.

No, a fear that gnawed away at me. A Black Dog Serenade. Biting, Pulling, Tasting.

However, I raged, Dad, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. I cooked. So much more tastes better than fear. Braxton, Virgil, Worrying Bites

“Still, we have a moment to simply be two men for a little longer, and not worry about how history might view us.”
Logan Jacobs

“The seeds of life – fiery is their force, divine their birth, but they are weighed down by the bodies’ ills… That is the source of all men’s fears and longings, joys and sorrows…”
Aeneid

2052 Days Without B III, Day 1493 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son