Gospel 193 ~List It Up, Will~

One of the MANY motivations I listen to said that lists are a graveyard. Considering my impossible things, my resolutions, or a playlist of Whitney Houston, sure. If only I could make one of the good things about myself but no. List It Up, Will.

Sunday, January 10, 2021

Gospel 193 ~List It Up, Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you just want to be a better man. It’s like asking one of those pageant girls, would you rather be pretty or smart. Hell, you’d be a billionaire and a “Bad Man” than a “Poor” one and a great man, good, well you’re alright. Not really.

It’s not like you’ve ever been served divorce papers. Other than a few days stint in Juvie, you’ve never been convicted of anything. There’s been a parking ticket here or there. Do you remember the first? It made you go suicidal. With your father… understandable. We often talk about how you’re fucking up (pardon my French). Yep once a week. Still, it sucks to hear it from other people you know. Last night reading over the Dæmon’s vet care. I felt like such a horrible parent. It didn’t stop you from sleeping late, hmm. Understand that I don’t mean to be so down on you, so early, 6:45 AM. Are you ever again going to live by “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life?” You did and then went back to sleep for 20 minutes more. Fought Addiction, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 016) No Fap
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing A Brand New TWD Guild Intro
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading The Island by Gary Paulsen
    Completed

I am proud of you. Already there’s a list of “stuff and thangs” you want to say. It’s like your DRUG. You don’t feel right without them, but as the song goes, “to keep me awake and alive.” Before you forget, playlist 4:00 AM, Air Tonight (Protomen), and Peter Gabriel. If it ain’t music or Netflix, it’s novels. One more reason you’re down today. At least Eric Vall kept me excited with his books, but we can’t talk about them. Now it’s “A Different Alchemy” Jeffery and his son Galen. One more thing to show your dad like failures, yep.
Only I don’t want to do that, and neither do you. Not sure if this will become the norm, but as another song goes, here comes success. You don’t even have a title. But there are some things you have done well. They should matter, New Year’s Resolutions, it’s 11.

  1. I Have Purged Pictures From My Phone (6000 to 800)
  2. I Have Taken My Son To His Vet Appointment (Okay)
  3. I Have Only Spent $100 Off My Stimulus Check Now
  4. I Have Ordered New Masks And Filters, Looking After Myself
  5. I Have Become More Organized In Certain Areas Of Life
  6. I Have Acknowledged Good

Old habits Die Hard. You’re not sure how positive I have been at the start of this New Year. I AM Speaking Positivity Into My Life is the eleventh resolution. You want to believe you’ll do better. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 016 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Writing A Brand New TWD Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Reading A Different Alchemy, Chris Dietzel

I hope you’ll “listen up,” but List It Up, Will.

I Will Have No Fear