Log 343 ~Want Is Just Another Virus~

Ignorance and Want only it’s nowhere near Christmas, I know, but if I ever have the money? Well, considering how I feel about the Day Job or the things I actually want to do for a living, I can tell you “stuff” I want. Want Is Just Another Virus

Monday, June 8, 2020

Log 343 ~Want Is Just Another Virus~

Hundred And Forty Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now… or how I want to be. Now, this is the perfect rule for right this second. It’s times like these, I realize that I have a problem. THEY talk about how “some” black men emulate Tony Montana. The Money, Power, Women, Gimme.

It’s no secret that this week I want, hell, I need money. I ought to be ashamed, Madam Justice. Only today (Saturday) I had a full day, and what have I done with it? To my shame, I slept, and Eric Thomas often talks about being willing to give up sleep. There’s also the fact I wanted that so badly I didn’t get myself a snack. How much will it cost to get over my fear of being awake? Even now, I checked out my schedule for next week and what do think I saw. SHOES, HOME & KIDS, dammit, I want money, so I’ll never have to listen to these STUPID people ever again. Now isn’t that the dream, and sounding like Trump? I do think having money does make you deaf. Of course, I hear everything which tells you all about my finances.

You know I’m one to quote Master Yoda, Fear, Anger, Hate, Suffering. Money leads to Power or the whole Rock, Paper, Scissors Dynamic. Power, Knowledge, Money. Money buys Power, Knowledge can take Money, Power crushes Knowledge. I want the power to not look STUPID. At this time, I want enough strength to stand up to my boss. Anger makes me sick, Madam Justice. I would say it makes me powerful, but here I am like a lamb to the slaughter and why? A Black woman and now ain’t the time.

What, for women? As Jake Morgendorffer put it, “God, God, Dammit,” how do you think I woke up after my nap? Drooling over “Specs,” Alyson Hannigan, and I’ll take a shot at saying Alison Rey because I need to stop looking at porn. I’m a master detective when it comes to that but can’t find one old lady, an electric knife. Even with NO FAP, I’m going crazy, and I want to… well, go off like a fire hose. I remember the words satisfaction is the death of desire, and that’s why I’m a dead man most of the time.

At least want shows I’m still fighting or about to. Want Is Just Another Virus.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 286 ~Will Raises A Roar~

Easter Sunday, though you’ll see, I’m not a participant. However, I am trying to bury my anger. It will probably rise again whenever I decide to go out and see what’s left of the world, but right now, I feel like the Devil. “Will Raises A Roar.”

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Log 286 ~Will Raises A Roar~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and when you are, as the song goes, Heads Will Roll. Now don’t shoot the messenger… with what, gun loading sucks. At the moment Academy sucks, Jim ‘N Nick’s BBQ, Walmart. Don’t take me as ungrateful, I do appreciate the essential workers. One of these days, I’m going to give you the full speech about why I think the Coronavirus (COVID-19) had to happen. Today though, I want to scream at everybody, well not the cashier at Walmart but a bad day.

Let me say that I am the first one that will take the blame. As messed up as I am, I will take the hit, that’s how you know you f*ed up, right. I wasted another day. When I got back, even the food wasn’t enough, and I needed a pink bra and a beautiful set of boobies. It didn’t start out that way, understand. I handled the books, ordered the speed loader. Somehow I even made a semi-decent mask. Of course, I didn’t wear it. What, did I roar, did I scream, did this apocalypse finally come to fruition? No people are people. Besides telling you my mindless ramblings, I didn’t even work on the book today. Okay, that may change, considering today is Friday. Still, what will any of this mean when it comes to, and I hate saying it, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 006 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
    Failed
  6. I AM Writing 25,000 Words, Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”
    Failed

Not to sound like Cameron Tucker. The truth is I hated most of Modern Family but was kept “abreast” about it. I probably shouldn’t say it but Alex Dunphy/Ariel Winter’s boobies. Why do I keep talking about “Divine” boobies, because I had an epiphany? I was wondering why I wasn’t swearing at Jim ‘N Nick’s. I didn’t yell at Academy Sports. You know I was scared about talking about Necrophilia. What about how many times I mentioned my gun like I like the NRA? I don’t, or we don’t. Anyway, my writing is my ROAR. It’s how I curse the sky at whomever or whatever is up there. Even when there’s nothing at all. It’s me spitting on graves or dancing. Of course, it’s how I hurt myself the most with SIGH Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
  6. I AM Writing 25,000 Words, Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”

There’s this country song “If I Die Young” which says it best. For now, while my hands are busy in some disgusting ways. In my throat, Will Raises A Roar.

“A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you’re dead how people start listenin”’ ―If I Die Young

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 092 ~Riches, But Looking For More~

I wish I could say it’s just money that I was burning and that I didn’t have to worry about it because there would always be more but what about time and words, doesn’t that count for more, sadly Riches, But Looking For More.

Monday, October 1, 2018

Episode 092 ~Riches, But Looking For More~

Fifty-Second Rule Madam Justice

How to make One Million Dollars, or maybe the real question is, why do I want to make one million dollars, when in the end I want so much more than that, but this is about stepping away from money right, nobody’s paying me a damn thing yet. I refuse to say I’m looking for happiness, revenge is a poison Madam Justice, and somebody said everything is about sex but sex is about power, and I say I want to be full, but at the same time I give all I have to you here.

There is no trouble at all telling you what I want but as for today as always I want people to suffer, to pay, I want retribution, I want my anger, as a matter of fact, I need rage if I’m going to get everything done today and even now I’m wasting time. Somewhere it’s written that one would instead feel something than nothing and I believe that in a way humans are greedy and as much as one may want to, you can’t wake up happy. Trees convert carbon monoxide into oxygen; they take what the world gives them and produce something positive for somebody else, I work the same way, I take the hurt and the pain and make smiles, for somebody else, I live off the misery as if I were a masochist, but I prefer sadism.

Didn’t I say yesterday that this is supposed to be the week of positive thinking and how many times have I said that I’m grateful, but today I want a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal, a new Kindle Tablet, and to be done writing because I’m saying three thousand words. Now I could have all of that at this very moment Madam Justice but what would I have left here, how would I feel afterward, I suppose the same with you know what. How will I believe if I do get this accomplished, I woke up early today, made my bed, worked, got off an hour ahead of my shift, I felt like a winner for a bit but where did that feeling go and that’s how it goes with happiness honestly. Isn’t that why the writers keep going, the Republicans keep stealing, and the dog keeps snuggling because it is never enough, is that why I dreamed of Daybreakers last night, I suppose.

True enough I could list everything I want, and that might solve my problem because I would be writing forever, but the greatest riches a writer could have is readers, immortality, worlds of their own, Riches, But Looking For More.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 085 ~Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust~

Too many sad friends to give into my misery, and trying to start this new week out of bed if I’m lucky but waiting to go to work and then after, my dose of the rage virus it seems, Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust.

Monday, September 24, 2018

Episode 085 ~Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust~

Fifty-First Rule Madam Justice

How to make One Million Dollars, I wish those ideas came as fast as things I’m mad at or how quickly I get hard, though I didn’t wake up with Morning Wood, no I woke up angry that every other part of me had to get up. I read somewhere that couples shouldn’t go to bed angry, and most nights I’m not sure how I feel, though I usually tell myself stories, I go over games in my head, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time maybe Detroit: Become Human.

Back when I had a full-time school schedule, though I remember a pretty girl here, or there it is the rage I embraced the most, and now, hell I can be angry that I don’t have time for gaming, the money for it, that I don’t have a pretty girl like North, Kara, or Chloe. I’m mad that already I feel sick and what did I do wrong, I woke up right when I wanted to, ate breakfast, I’m even talking to you this morning so why should I be in pain. How about the fact that I can’t have hope, no I’m afraid which only means I need more anger to fuel me because when I get to the day job, what happens then?

Wouldn’t indifference be worse, I either want your head on a stick or your head on a… yeah it’s easier to talk about hate as always, people more often than not prefer my misery and they want it with me smiling. Me and my dumbass smile, THIS I CANNOT DO (anymore) I mean, so either I’m a pervert, a psycho, but never a person and strangely enough that makes me mad because do I honestly want to be like any person I know nowadays. Everyone I like is suffering, the man I am, I still hate, which goes perfectly with hating the majority of human beings so yes indeed I enjoy looking at beautiful things.

The Beautiful People, maybe that’s why I want anger because I want to feel something other than anything to be ashamed of right; being mad makes me damn well normal but pictures of bodies one way or another gets you kicked off Pinterest but not today. For now, I’m angry that this day isn’t going as planned but I am in more control dear Madam Justice, surprisingly this rage and Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 024 ~Sack Up For Life~

Please, don’t let this be an ending of my motivation; I swear I can give more, I know it doesn’t look like much of a sack, my computer, my words, my life, and where the hell did my balls go? “Sack Up For Life.”

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Episode 024 ~Sack Up For Life~

Forgive Me Echo,
Give Me One Reason that my life should end up in a bag if anything I suppose it beats a box and I’m still Alive but what exactly am I living for when everything I am can fit in a sack. I’ve heard girls talk about their whole life is in their purse and not that I’m trying to be offensive against women… oh no not me though that brings to mind a whole other sack full of life I’m keeping full.

Unlike the sacks of potato chips and sandwiches I’ve subsisted off of the past few days, food is food, but again I ask the question as to why other than not actively trying to kill myself these days. Well, I am still getting up an hour early for these chats nowadays, I would say I’m standing up for myself at work while sitting down, yeah I might get fired any day now and if it isn’t my boss, where do I say my courage comes from again? Must I go all Yoda with the Fear and Anger but I feel my courage accompanies my rage and those that enrage me so, well I wouldn’t look like much of a man.

Why can’t I sack up when it counts Inspector Echo, I was supposed to go to the library today, but from the look of the time that’s not happening, I can’t grow a pair when it comes to my damn name and of course both of these attribute to not buying lunch today. Why not, because I don’t feel like I deserve it and that’s true, when I start making money when I prove that I can do something, anything, all I did today besides working the day job is hit the sack. As you can attest there are so many to choose from and as they say, think outside the box, I need to think outside the bag but again my whole life is in there except my dog, and he’s my reason, my why I should be doing anything, so why aren’t I?

When most people pack a bag it’s for a few days, but when I do it well I don’t expect to survive, I plan on getting sick, something happening to the car, that I’ll forget something that is crucial. May you forgive me Inspector Echo for choosing to live inside a bag than die in a box, for being offensive yet again and still not having any balls, for filling up everything but myself as I give everything else, I must Sack Up For Life.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 017 ~Fires of Mt. Motivation~

If I were asked this moment what inspired a year’s worth of writing, nearly four books, buying space for a blog, fighting like Hell to keep it and more, find a person that makes your blood boil and then get it out of you. Fires of Mt. Motivation

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Episode 017 ~Fires of Mt. Motivation~

Forgive Me Echo,
Give me one reason other than fear; I have believed for the longest time that if fear is all you have to get someone to see your point of view, then you don’t have much to offer; the fires of Hell won’t scare me into the light of Heaven. Now I’ve been all about flames and the Devil these days, but no one has given me any reason why I should want to go to Heaven when my idea of paradise is what’s going to get me into Hell without a doubt.

What’s “interesting” (how I hate that word) is the fact that the concept of FEAR is cold; one more reason why I’m always in my hoodies, and it’s Summertime, honestly do you know how long it took me to show up in my trunks at the pool? When I was learning how to swim, and I never did, all I remember is the cold and at the same time when I wasn’t afraid I couldn’t get enough of the water, the pool, the lake, I’m not going back to my brief stint in the Navy. Where’s the motivation then, is it merely my desire to escape the cold, you know the ninth circle of Hell is that of Treachery and these past few days, despite waking up an hour early, writing, coming to the library I feel, “success in progress.”

Okay, more to the point FAILURE like last night and this afternoon so what drove me to come out today; first and foremost, my desire, talk about setting your feet to the fire whether it be for material possession, the fact that I looked up the word “Quadrillion.” Finishing my latest novel, and as always women, which leads me to humiliation, that sort of heat puts fire in my fingertips, and still, I bury myself in blankets and Puppy Love but haven’t I said once where my courage comes into play. Anger, that’s what I feel when I’m at work, and I’m thinking I should be writing, how about when I woke up this afternoon, and I was pissed because it was one, and I finished that Spotify Motivational playlist.

Still, I couldn’t get here sooner, I’m motivated, don’t get me wrong, tomorrow I’ll wake up and write seven hundred words, I’ll come to the library, and I will write another five thousand words. So why do I need forgiveness, forgive me for learning how to accept the cold, for not yet trying hard enough to escape it, for all my hellish desires, my fear of humiliation, the anger I have, Fires of Mt. Motivation.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 238 ~Waste Not, Want Not~

Often when I get done with my writing, I think of how many words I wasted and how many things I want to say but going on two hundred and thirty-eight days there are always more thoughts, more words, more time to spend. “Waste Not, Want Not”

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Lesson 238 ~Waste Not, Want Not~

Hey Lady Luna,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, angry some, horny most days, exhausted always, and don’t even get me started on how I feel about my job… is there yet a word for such emotion because there isn’t just fear. This morning though I had to draw upon anger and what I realized is that my rage is not some finite resource, there is plenty to burn, so it’s not wasted but is it wanted, and yes I even looked up the old saying.

I spend my anger to keep it from overflowing, and that’s probably not the safest thing to say in this climate, but of course, you know who draws most of my anger. Wouldn’t I suggest the same of my lust but though I have a high sex drive, my money situation, well… just another reason to envy Christian Grey but I’m sure that leather costs more than the outfits I buy for potential submissives. My dollars could be better spent on a softer bed, two birds with one stone because apparently, I’m not getting enough sleep, but for a second day, I dragged myself to the dining room table to talk to you and work.

Is it sad that I feel like I’m wasting a god awful number of words, it beats having to talk to actual people next week, and even then I wouldn’t be allowed my first amendment? In this way, I don’t waste the truth on those people either, and as I’ve learned Lady Lu, with most girls, even speaking a fraction of the truth means I don’t get the girl but not talking at all? I’m sure I’ll go back to saving money now that Indiana Gone has departed, I’m going to miss having a movie partner but when’s the last time I wasted any tears?

The worst things Lady Luna are either immeasurable or I hoard but what about the best things… I suppose love can be a bit of both, I love my dog, but when it comes to myself, I don’t waste any, but I seem to be like everyone else, my company is unwelcome. For me, time is what I lose the most of, and that is what leaves me wanting, more money, more power, more women.

So what have I learned today, spend anger but keep enough to write, don’t waste money on a submissive you don’t plan on finding, spare less on sleep so you’ll have a lot more to contemplate Waste Not, Want Not?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 183 ~Time To Work Sparky~

At the closing of the year *sigh* I’m exhausted, and I will be, but maybe this year I will try something different, perhaps this year I will live instead of just surviving, no more usual. “Time To Work Sparky.”

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Lesson 183 ~Time To Work Sparky~

“We are the spark, that will light the fire that’ll burn the First Order down.” Star Wars: The Last Jedi

To Will:
No Fear and we’ll start here and end here only to begin again; to be honest fireworks scare me and let that be the last deep dark secret I share with you because you will be a much braver man. Perhaps today is a day for grand declarations and if I have to think of one for you, Will you won’t just be a man you’ll be the man, and you’re doing great.

Do you even remember how you spent last New Year’s Eve because I don’t, but already, you’ll be out amongst people, you’ll have a friend that has two legs and while you’ll be exhausted tomorrow morning as the kids say nowadays, YOLO? I know it doesn’t sound as exciting as watching religious propaganda… what some of those movies are awesome, yet another secret but anyway that was a good night, and there is no reason not to think the best of this one. Speaking of which I don’t expect you to get over fear in one night, we’re talking decades but again, today is the first day of the rest of your life, just yours.

“I don’t know where I’m going
But I sure know where I’ve been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday

And I’ve made up my mind,
I ain’t wasting no more time” ― Whitesnake

There are too many statements that all contradict each other, maybe we should stick with the words of Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” because this is what you’ll have to do. I want you to feel the fear, don’t knock it, fear, anger, hate, yes I sound like Star Wars which just goes to show, don’t forget who you are and who you will become. Just like hope, kindness, and love, there is a balance to grow, which brings me back full circle my friend.

“The opposite of war isn’t peace, its creation” ― RENT

You won’t just be the spark, I want you to be a freaking infection, pain, a virus; I want you to go off, to explode, and from the craters that you create from yourself for once. I want you to build, be the angry man and give them a reason to look down on you. Yeah, let them see because just when they think they’ve won yet again, you’ll blind them with your bright future.
Yes, you just won’t be a firework, you just won’t be a spark, not just the tip of the sword, this is going to be your year. Okay, how many times have I said this and it is my wish that you will never have to repeat it now go on Time To Work Sparky.

I Will Have No Fear, Have A Happy New Year

The AXEL Man Has Cometh

I just wish I had a space bar I could hit, but this story kept my hands from doing this or anything else my hands might regret, but Axel and Aly are all about love and each other despite the past they can’t fight or kill but… The AXEL Man Has Cometh.

Tons of issues but I don’t mean that terribly for the most part… indeed that’s what makes “Axel” so relatable to people, but this hit me on a personal level. It’s not a title I would have sought out myself, more a right place, right moment sort of deal, much like the characters of Axel and Aly, surprised no one went to AA, ok that was a lame joke, but there are plenty of issues.

This novel covers all of the bases, anger, mental health, sex, religion, but in a more realistic way than a standard all you need is love campaign, though there is a sweet love story from the protagonists. It doesn’t make any particular group look bad; I mean religious people often don’t like to be portrayed negatively and given specific events that have been unfolding around sex and such as I said this book points them out for all to see. I wish that were all I saw because I can’t give this book five stars right off the bat, but I’ll explain that soon enough.

Axel is a coming of age story as well, the difference between strong children and broken men, going into more of the latter when it comes to the heroes. It’s the realism that’s the real crux of the story, and that should scare a lot of people in a way when you think about it, and you will be long after you finish reading. The ending is a bit rushed as if you can’t tell how this is going to end; don’t get me wrong it’s an original story but easy to predict mostly and the surprises appear out of left field talking about WTF.

If you don’t want to head further in just know that Bry Ann is a hell of a writer, and I would admittedly delve into her work; not right away but I’m glad I did. Also if you like to think you’re without any particular sin you probably won’t like it but Axel, Aly, alright.

The good news is I can’t automatically place it in one particular genre and while the concept is somewhat familiar other than The Twilight Zone or the nightly newscast I can’t compare it to anything. Most of the characters find themselves out while others just drift with the barest of motivations but every persona should want something, and this delivers.

Messed up boy, good girl with twisted history sounds about right, also throw in a bit of Thirteen Reasons Why (so I found a comparison), and you have the story. Axle has anger issues, gets into boxing, and mental problems notwithstanding he has every reason to be pissed at the world. Aly, the proper religious girl with her growing anger at events but she refuses to let them consume her. Also, she was lost throughout the book not that you can blame her. A couple that is just perfect together, and I could relate to Axel on a mental level and anybody else will, with the past that haunts him.

His parents are well thought out, two people who just want the best for their son, but Aly’s weren’t so much, then again does this book need even more anger, still in a right way. None of the villains were spectacular other than the; you had a sister, I want the girl, this is a perfect life, reminiscent of The Count of Monte Cristo, or how the enemy of my enemy friendship, Axel with Aly, Ryan with Brandon. Other characters seemed just to pop in and what I mean is maybe there should be sort of a drifting in rather than a teleportation if that makes any sense at all.

For a book with so many psychological aspects there is a character here, or there I would have liked to learn more about instead of just the appearance and the disappearance of her. No character is wasted though, and the evolution of the protagonists is well paced beginning to end.

I’ll try to keep any spoilers small, no promises but if you don’t wish to proceed, a solid four stars but barely because of one critical aspect. As for my insights well, I feel a type of way about this title as I do with any other work read but as for my own opinion?

More often than not I blame myself and not the author, I received a free copy for my honest review, but my Kindle has a habit of making things disappear so being a man of my word I purchased a copy from Amazon since I lost the file. Now that should show that I think this work is promising and enjoyable but then I ask, did the author or the editor not know how to use a spacebar? I would blame my Kindle, but with the novels, I’ve stocked. I have never seen this many words just smashed together. I would be ashamed to share it with a friend even with the satisfying storyline and for all its merits and if a hard copy shares the same faults, I *shiver*.

I could have done with some vivid and hardcore descriptions, not Bry Ann’s fault but I think I belong to a specific genre and when I get used to that “type” of writing you find yourself craving more. Namely for me the romance and lack thereof, Axel and Sarah, Aly and Axel, Sarah and Ryan, Aly and Brandon but that’s just me, and it is somewhat refreshing to see Aly stick to her morals. The ending though seen, just barreled on me so quickly, I have done worse in my writing, and for the back end of the book, everything was predictable except for the sister who was just, whoa.

Four stars for significant spacing errors and a bit of an unfinished backstory here and there, I’m almost sliding back to three, but the story is fantastic if you can hang in there. Too bad Santa didn’t bring me a punching bag for Christmas, with my issues and another finished book, punches just seem right, The AXEL Man Has Cometh.

Lesson 149 ~Anger Is Better That Despair~

All I know is I rather not be the victim, and I don’t believe that all anger is necessarily bad, or at least that’s what everyone attempts to convince themselves of, and it seems like such an angry world and why not Anger Is Better That Despair.

Monday, November 27, 2017

Lesson 149 ~Anger Is Better That Despair~

Eighth Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear, indeed for everything that I do out of fear, anger… perhaps it’s what makes me the most foolish, but I could live with nearly anything else but despair. When I first began writing again it was out of despair but what makes me keep writing is this great fire, and somedays I don’t care what stokes it honestly.

Despair would have set in if I quit my job today, anger is what got me back to the real work and the somewhat asinine hope that someday I will be rich enough, ready enough, real enough to end the humiliation, degradation, and possibly the perversion of my soul. Now, what is it I said about stoking the fire, trust me if I was only as angry as I was today, instead of being as horny as everything, even my own filthy little sex romp of a novel isn’t a substitute for actual porn. Shouldn’t that make me angry, I am my own worst enemy most days which just makes everything else set me off so damn easy, but shouldn’t we all be angry with everything in the world today.

There is a poem somewhere about how the world will meet its end in fire or ice and don’t count me as any true interpreter Madam Justice but shall we drown in boiling seas of blood, or freezing lakes of our tears since we are doing nothing. Anger at least makes you take action even if that action is the dumbest thing in your whole life, what has despair ever gotten me. A hangover from sleeping pills or vomiting my guts out for a few days, anger can make you must industrious, how many industries do some build on it.

People talk about self-defense, but somebody breaks into your house, there will be fear and anger, righteous or not doesn’t make any difference does it. Liquor feeds off both anger and despair which is why I don’t usually partake, no benefit honestly, as if something out of Furi Kuri/Fooly Cooly/FLCL as Mamimi says “I’ll overflow.”

Perhaps that is the lesson, I rather hurt others than hurt myself, or at least that’s why it is a rule as I am usually falling into depression. Does that make me a bad person; well, I haven’t killed anybody, my hands are clean, but Anger Is Better That Despair.

I Will Have No Fear