Tag: Relief

Saga 338 ~Please, B Good Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Deals with the devil? A wish from a genie? Getting in bed with the GOP (shudders). The best thing I had going was with B III. I asked him to be good, and I promised I’d be back. Uh, and I ended up being his terminator. The past? Please, B Good Virgil

Sunday, June 4, 2023

Saga 338 ~Please, B Good Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Hell! You won’t be this week… a Billionaire, I mean. But, like me, you’ll be wearing hoodies.

You’re the last one who should be talking about wearing anything. Life last week… disgusting. Depressing, Deviant… Is the word DUMB better than STUPID? Whatever. Dog! As in, the dog needs you. Virgil aka Virgil Vivi, aka 2V and not 2B. Ah, that name, ha. First, there’s 2B as in YoRHa No. 2 Type B from Nier: Automata. Rather pornography… Second, as you’ve seen this morning, 2V is not a second Braxton. B resurrected? Never! Did you want to cry today? It’s better out of sadness than the disgust I’ve been feeling again. Didn’t I say something to the tune of, “Guilt before we act is called morality.” Thank 2012’s Liberal Arts. Because what has Virgil done, hmm? What have I done? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls by Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Not in the slightest. I’m not a good “man.” I’m not a good… anything. And what about you today? You’re nine hours into the new week. And you can already tell you’ve failed two, three, five, and six. You keep looking at such and such, and you’ll fail four. Existence? You don’t want a good existence but a good life, and how do you start that? Don’t look at me! But isn’t that what today is all about? Braxton was/is so much better. There’s bucks. No, there isn’t because you wouldn’t be starving. And there are way too many boobs. Last week it was all about me whispering, “Please be good.” Saying that to whomever. But it wasn’t a good thing: Only Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Vampire Academy” 1 by Richelle Mead
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Please be good. How long have I had the same damn list? Short of the books changing now and again. Is Vampire Academy good? Eff me! Is there goodness? Seeing as how history is being erased. Perhaps Anne Frank’s words will echo forever. “In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.” Braxton, Virgil? They ain’t people, but I believe in their goodness. Okay, I’m iffy, considering Virgil’s. Meditating. You’ll do that every night (sigh). But last night, during the Loving-Kindness lesson. It was all about wishing something good for someone else. There’s also hoping for something good for yourself. But like me… What would you want for yourself and everyone? You’d never… bad words, right? Please, B Good Virgil.

854 Days Without B III, Day 295 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 331 ~B A Secret Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m full of secrets, yet didn’t I say something about anonymity last week. I don’t like anybody talking about me, and that includes myself. I’m not someone to trust, yet here I am, being “transparent.” Such GOP ideology. “B A Secret Virgil”

Sunday, May 28, 2023

Saga 331 ~B A Secret Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. While you’ve become “Secret Agent Man.” One of the “Men In Black.” Or the “Snake Eater,” SIGH.

You wish… Yeah! That you could rip your damn dick off for wasting more money. Oh, and speaking of eating, what will that consist of today? Starving yourself on purpose. Been there, done that, but no. May Virgil never have to see that. Braxton did. One of the few times I was a lousy dog… friend, father, fellow, whatever. B had dirty water, and why? Oh, back then, I was too busy trying to… ok, you’re a big boy. So you can hear the words. But seeing as how you don’t need the cops at the door. I was trying to die back then, dammit. And every day, uh, these last few… You wish I had succeeded and why. Besides Braxton and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Secrets! My failing and yours aren’t. Hell! How many times did you wake up this morning only to go back to bed, and why? It’s not like you can keep yourself from the world you know. However, that is the plan if you ever make it. You’re sitting in bed… First, you woke up as punishment to reset the alarms because of your wayward dick. Around 1:00AM, you woke up because you wanted to simp for Cherry. It’s her birthday. At 4:00AM, perfect, you said you’d wake up at 4:30 and then 5:00. And when it was approaching 6:00, you got up. Why? First, there was The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Then came The Cherry Collision. Now The Pic Phenomenon. Won’t help Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls by Eric Vall
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At this very moment, you’re failing #6 because of how ashamed you are. How asinine your desires are. And how much of an asshole you’re being. Have you been called out on it yet? Not in so many words. Only look at what I’ve done and what you’ll do. Goodness! Not when she turns her back on you. Trust me, the mirror, “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” How many friends have I talked to last week? I only need one hand and not even all of the fingers. It Doesn’t Matter… My advice? Don’t go walking around with your dick in your hand. Now that should be a secret. But your heart remains broken in all this. Existence? B A Secret Virgil.

847 Days Without B III, Day 288 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 324 ~Forget B Nots Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I wish I drank more… or at all. But you can ask Braxton’s Aunt about that. One glass of wine, and I was done. Everything is or was a blur. Seems that way for all addictions. Alcohol, Areolas, and America. But I’ll never forget B. Forget B Nots Virgil

Sunday, May 21, 2023

Saga 324 ~Forget B Nots Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But can you even remember what you want to do with your life? Excuse me, your existence.

Noted. You’re only six hours into it and “trying.” Hell! I had most of the week, and what did I do with it? Do you want the truth? It’d be better if I shut up. Start fresh… Inevitable. It’s like thinking of Braxton. Your dog. You dying. And your effing dong. As the song “Every morning when I wake up…” What? Will you start today differently? You want my advice. No! That’s faster than one of my nephews rejecting to see pictures of Virgil. The things you want to forget. How you STUNK at Granddaddy’s funeral. Trying to be helpful? Or that chocolate cake you left sitting in the fridge forever. Can we not talk about food and the man wasting away? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING All Tied Up by Imogen Linn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You, of course, know what one of those things should be, with how I’ve been effing up number 4 plenty. And for you… it’s like when people watch those killers on TV. Well, I’m no killer. See, that right there! Did you forget the crime you committed the original sin? Braxton is dead! Only yesterday morning when I called out to him. I effing forgot. Medications. B takes one every twelve hours and the other every twenty-four. Three pills a day. And there I was, trying to read the long faded labels remembering such failure. That might explain the other crime I was doing. I’m glad you have Virgil sleeping at the foot of the bed. You see him. As for me. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s all been a blur. And I mean worse than Japanese porn. And no, you don’t have any racist connotations to that. You mean in general. Or should you say genitals? Stop for a second, will you? This week you will do far worse. Morning? Again, you forget what happened to Braxton, right? You’re imagining all the sins that are out there. Last night, I even looked up such a person who effed up to try and remind myself not to do those things ever. Hell! All you have to do is look in the mirror. One more reason to miss B III’s eyes, hmm. He always saw you as better. And Virgil? Wondering why he sleeps like you. In dreams, Forget B Nots Virgil.

840 Days Without B III, Day 281 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 317 ~Mommy, B III, Vivi…~

WillLeave a comment

Think Mom. The fact that I even remembered and that’s because I hung signs at the Day Job. And if mom had a chance to rethink it… uh, that would be another conversation. My sister should be an only child… But my worries today? Mommy, B III, Vivi

Sunday, May 14, 2023

Saga 317 ~Mommy, B III, Vivi…~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so it’s all about me. What about you? Always the selfish prick. There’s Ma, Braxton, Virgil Vivi…

What is a list of your priorities? What about a list of your loves? V’s not there yet. Ouch! Okay, um, start over… Today is Mother’s Day. That’s the truth you can hold on to. Millionaires and Billionaires take care of their Olds. Something else you need to look up. Oh, that’s right; what have you been looking up today? I know this is so “freaking” hard right now. For the love of everything, will you stop for a sec? Take a deep breath. Hmm… It’s Mother’s Day, and as the song goes, “I’ll Always Love My Mama.” Facts, thankfully. But what else can you say about your Ma? Besides her paying some, if not all, of your bills, sigh… List? Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline – The Contract (Erotica)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 128 No Fap)* Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

As I said, plain selfish. But wasn’t I yesterday? Last night as I sat meditating, I was told to think positively about a good friend. My effing mind didn’t think of B or V. Friend? Anyway, it wasn’t my Ma either. Only it was a mom. Braxton’s Aunt Carolina. Great. Now what about that list? There’s your Ma, Braxton’s Aunt, and your sister. Not to mention all the other moms you know from one place or another. Facebook, Instagram… Onlyfans? Yes, you’re going to get to that. If only you had the time. Your Ma had time for you, hmm? There’s something pretty effed up you wanted to say, but not today. You’re here, alive. But what does that mean? For her? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING (Determining)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You owe your Ma. So tell yourself the truth. Where is all of your money, moments, and manhood going? At least your sister gave her grandchildren. What was Braxton? Family. And even now, the only family you’re concerned with is a plethora of MILFS. Today? Please! There’s been one in a video here or there. Uh… But it’s been about women you want to make mothers. Breeding has never been an all-consuming fetish of yours. You should save this conversation for another time, but still. Gifts for mothers, particularly yours? What about the truth? That’s what’s bothering you this morning. Cherry doesn’t want motherhood and now knows you’re STUPID. Eurovision? Where’s B III’s Aunt today? And M Anime? Happy Mother’s Day. Mommy, B III, Vivi…

833 Days Without B III, Day 274 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 310 ~I’ll B Listening, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I wish I could tell everyone at the Day Job. When B barked, cried, and even the click clacks of his nails on the floor. He was helping me out. People make noise to make noise. Then there’s Virgil, who doesn’t make a sound. “I’ll B Listening, Virgil.”

Sunday, May 7, 2023

Saga 310 ~I’ll B Listening, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. I need you to hear me on this. Alas, I don’t have boobs. You don’t have balls.

Like father, like son. But V is not your son. Now, B III? Are you listening to him at all? God! You hope not. Considering; the first thing you heard this morning was Zero 7’s song, “Destiny.” And Rock-A-Bye by Black Buddafly. One of these things is not like the others. Destiny, though… any song that mentions porn gets your vote immediately. No wonder B hasn’t been around besides being dead and all. I mentioned effing up on the 30th. It could be worse. I’ve often said I’m a Pop Culture Whore. As you will be. Unless it comes to The Coronation of Charles III and Camilla. The Kentucky Derby, and even WWE Backlash. There’s been so much noise this week; with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline, The Society (BDSM Erotica)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 121 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 128 No Fap)*
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Failing to do them once again. When was the last time you heard the sound of success and victory? When was the last time somebody called you a winner? You need time. Hell! You were up on time this morning, and what did you do? Don’t be like me. That’s my advice. And there’s another F-Word you should try to avoid. You won’t put it into the universe, but it involves the Day Job. This week won’t be so bad… But you need to write. Fuck! Yeah. I’ve been trying to avoid that word. And you should too. But you’re a big boy, according to Carolina Bound. As the song goes, “I take a look at my enormous penis,” ha. Bigger than, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Mesmerizing Caroline series?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 128 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because speaking of fucking, that’s one of the things you’re most concerned with, isn’t it. Always. Friend, when the girl you wanted to fuck, doesn’t want to fuck you anymore… As the song goes, “That’s how you know you fucked up.” Accept my apology. Never? Hell! You won’t find out this week, given her track record. But I am sorry I screwed this up for you. Racism is more noise you don’t need. So instead, you’ll be listening to what? I count four songs so far. And what were you beating off to this morning before you went back to sleep? Azura Skye and Alyson Hannigan from Buffy, Conversations With Dead People. That’s how I feel talking to you. But Braxton? I’ll B Listening, Virgil.

826 Days Without B III, Day 267 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 303 ~Virgil, We’ll B Spending~

WillLeave a comment

I didn’t buy the loveseat in the Den. I bought 99% of the food I’ve eaten there. All the movies I watched with B and Carolina and the hot maid. Paid for every book read there. And the adoption fee for Virgil. Am I broke yet? Virgil, We’ll B Spending.

Sunday, April 30, 2023

Saga 303 ~Virgil, We’ll B Spending~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have plenty of women, a wife. Uh, “whores,” (I like alliteration)! You have Virgil.

Poor Virgil. Or should I say poor you? Not that I can blame you at all. Hell! You may have already failed several of those Six Impossible Things, and it’s only 9:00 AM -for real. I’m the one that wrote down that list… of books. You’re the one that spent three hours buying them. Ok, so I lied. We can both take the heat on this one. But getting up. Everywhere, everything, every time, there is FEAR. It’s the only reason you saw 5:00 AM. Oh! And if this was the Day Job? That’s why you have a lot of writing to do. Swear It! Nope! I’d say do it for Virgil. You’ll spend more time crying about Braxton. Because again, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Grief: How to Cope Before And After by Jackie Weaver
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 114 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 121 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

They might as well be lies. Let’s call them fiction, which again brings to mind all the books you bought today. Around thirty bucks worth. Even more? Eight books in total. I’d ask, are you crazy? But of course, you are. It would be well worth it to spend time with Triple B once more. Although only two or three are suitable for little ones. B III was grown ok. Hunger Games, dead fur babies, sex, eating people, wisdom, pornography, coitus, intercourse. At least Virgil Vivi can say he was by my side when I went shopping. Not for him. Do you want to spend more time with him, since you don’t have money to go anywhere for a while? Work on, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline, The Society (BDSM Erotica)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 121 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At the very least, you could spend time on the loveseat instead of in bed. I was only in the Den to meditate these last few days. Is that so I can find peace or get away from Virgil? You’re working at the dining room table, so you’re thinking… Both. How so? Yesterday when I was leaving, I had to yell at him for all his howling. He didn’t want me to go. But isn’t that what you’re doing, though? When it comes to Braxton? Going all, Stay With Me? You’ll have to try singing to V. Or at least using his name. Would it help? B III is gone. And Virgil someday… Yourself? Not soon enough to find B. Guess, Virgil, We’ll B Spending

819 Days Without B III, Day 260 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 296 ~To B Broken Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I would have died for Braxton. And who knows, I could go broke for Virgil. And even if I hadn’t had two fur babies, as the song goes, “I’m bleeding and broken.” Always in one way or another. Mental, Physical, the Man in the Mirror. To B Broken Virgil

Sunday, April 23, 2023

Saga 296 ~To B Broken Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you exist more like Seong Gi-hun from “Squid Game.” You are not a horse… That’s positivity.

The most you’ll get today because you feel like crap or glue. Either one works for the horse analogy that’s going on. Hell! Back in the day, I bet on the horses (sigh). Good Times? And now, these Hard Times. If it’s not your body… And for once, you’re not thinking about your wayward dick. Anyway, your body is broken, or your bank account. Broke? What does that mean to you? More effing work. I left you with so much to do with my “Lazy-Ass.” How many pop-culture references is that; wanting to hear anything? Billionaires don’t have to listen to anybody if that helps. That’s why I’m talking, and you’re listening. Or you’re trying to. More like you need to understand… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Bereavement Matters: Understanding Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 107 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 114 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

When will Braxton coming back be on the list? It’s not like you’re doing four of these things anyway. I was ready to break #4, dammit! One pain in exchange for another. One head for another. Instead of a hard-on, you have a headache. Luckily you have a few pills. Why not cry, “I’m just a sucker for pain!” 812 days, revenge, justice, punishment. The “precision of language?” If that doesn’t sum up every effing word, you’ll say this week. Words like Humiliation, Sorry, and the greatest of these is Love. Ears and eyes work. Only you’re still broken, and Jesus ain’t coming by to save you. Would you want him anyway? If he or anyone else had saved Braxton… But no Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Grief: How to Cope Before And After by Jackie Weaver
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 114 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I got six more. Um ok. Uh, again. As the song goes, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” ha. Your right ear is perfectly fine. You don’t need your ears living a “Bukkake” scene. Keeping your pants on other than in the bathroom will be pretty effing easy. Bukkake? No. You will not cry about Braxton today. Will you be happy with his memory? You’ll have something to look forward to tomorrow. And be one step close to Billions. You’ve healed completely! The Cherry Collision, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart? Existence? Today you will live. Yeah, I’m laughing at that one too. Mental Health broke. If anything, cancel those OnlyFans subscriptions. Be grateful Virgil’s little body is broken. According to vets. To B Broken Virgil

812 Days Without B III, Day 253 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“But I’m on the outside; I’m looking in. I can see through you, see your true colors. ‘Cause inside you’re ugly, you’re ugly like me.” Michael Jackson’s nicer, “Man in the Mirror.” If anyone, I’d like to be my son. Dealing with me? Harder To B Virgil

Sunday, April 16, 2023

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. By comparison, you’re blocking off a fence with the screen door panel. A metal chair… A lazy-ass.

Zombieland huh? “It’s tough growing up in Zombieland. It’s tough growing up.” Or would you prefer a bit of John Q. “I understand. It’s hard to be a man these days. Hard to know what the right thing is.” You will have little time to watch movies today. Nope! Hell! You haven’t even cried over Braxton today. But the day’s still so young (sigh). Approaching 9:00 AM. And I’ve made this week much harder than it should be… again. I’m sorry. You should save your apologies for Braxton. And a couple for Virgil Vivi. You’re not STUPID enough to ask, what about you? The fact that you’re even awake. Woke? Let’s not get into politics right now. Is life? Existence? Hard as Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING How to ROAR: Pet Loss Grief
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 100 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 107 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And if the best man you’ve ever known couldn’t cope… What chance do you have? Existing has become so hard that I got you practicing meditation, even now. Is it helping? Yeah, you don’t want to answer that. One more reason fur babies don’t talk. Because… Well, if they did. Braxton was/is his father’s son. Like you, he’d scream obscenities, vulgarities, and the like. And why. You were about to say people don’t understand, right? If meditation has taught me anything. It’s the fact that even breathing is a struggle. Braxton knew this true enough but for you? “For You?” Or more like Staind’s “Outside.” Don’t go looking at YouTube now. It’s one of the reasons you have “Flow State” running now. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Bereavement Matters: Understanding Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 107 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because talking to yourself, the “Man in the Mirror,” is hard… B is somewhere laughing. Virgil’s all scared to death. Going from good women. To an effed-up grown man. (Laughs). Are you? Well, not in a good way, with you wasting an hour. Pornographic passions. It’s 9:30 now. And already, you can say that you’ve failed #6. You’ve been flirting with #4 too. Let’s not forget all the writing that must get done today, so eff #3. They’re my fault. The only thing I seem to accomplish is making existing that much worse every week. That’s a hard-ass legacy. Isn’t it? I’d ask what the eff you’re going to do about it. But, um, no. Harder than existing? Being without Braxton. Harder To B Virgil

805 Days Without B III, Day 246 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 282 ~To B’s Level V~

WillLeave a comment

Get on my level… um, yeah. Braxton had a look he would give me. Like every time, I was STUP… well, less than his Dad, anyway. Or when I wasn’t writing and instead watching YouTube. And the time I wasted on Easter? What? I ain’t Jesus. To B’s Level V.

Sunday, April 9, 2023

Saga 282 ~To B’s Level V~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means RISE and shine because life is good. A “Good Day,” “Lovely Day,” and so on.

RISE! Is that my advice to you today? Is that a challenge? It is the order, a gift, to Braxton. As it has been, going on 798 Days now. You RISE as a murderer. And considering you have done so, you have yet to face punishment. Dammit! If falling out of bed at 38 killed. If Virgil keeps pushing, you’ll bust your head on the vent this week. You can Hope. Define what HOPE is, like so many other words. To see Braxton again? If he did cross the “Rainbow Bridge,” up in Heaven, Elysium, some good place. Will you make it there? Braxton never showed me how. Good Dog? Not as foreign as “Deshi Basara.” Remember from The Dark Knight Rises? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Wait for Me in the Rainbow by Laura Vidal, Georgia Delena
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 093 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 100 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

The things you remember, like “Why Do We Fall?” The song, not the actual reasoning. How about the promise? Will you try not to be an asshole Republican today or tomorrow? We don’t “whitewash” or completely erase history here. Like Mike Enslin in “1408,” “We came here to get the story, and we don’t rattle, do we?” Message from Braxton. There’s also the line, “We’re here to do the job, and we don’t rattle.” You think you’re too deep into Pop Culture. Right? No denying that. But Braxton always did know how to reach you. Friend, son, brother… the best man you’ve ever known. And to think you raised him. You raised him (sigh). Put him on your level and then beyond. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING How to ROAR: Pet Loss Grief
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 100 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And that’s why you’re trying to reach him through what? These Things. What about V? Hell! How many times have I failed? I was thinking about that. When I was trying to fix the blog yesterday. And when I talked to Cherry, she asked. “Is sex all you think about?” Yeah, feeling like the scum of the Earth. There’s also being “kicked off,” um… Anyway. Seeing as how it’s Easter Sunday and it was once tradition to watch “The Ten Commandments” (1956). Though you’re thinking more The Prince of Egypt” and that song from Boyz II Men, “I Will Get There.” Again promise to Triple B. Not then, but now. “Neva Eva,” get on my level, ho. Until you’ve lived, succeeded? To B’s Level V

798 Days Without B III, Day 239 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 275 ~WANTED! My B. Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

Wanted Dead or Alive… Most days, I’m unsure which side of the line I fall on. In either case, I don’t want to get up. I had to for Braxton, which made it worth it. Now I’m wanted as a joke, a criminal or a slave. What do I want? WANTED! My B. Virgil.

Sunday, April 2, 2023

Saga 275 ~WANTED! My B. Virgil…~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means the world is mine. As for you, sadness, sickness. And oh so many sins (sigh).

But it always begins with B III. And that annoyance you feel right now? Hell! The only reason you don’t want to sit here right this second? There’s the fur baby against your leg. It beats calling him “The Freeloader.” But of course, you would know all about that, wouldn’t you? When you waste the weekend the way you did. Please do it for Braxton. Right? Now I can’t name one thing I did yesterday that mattered. Talk about spending money. I can’t say a dollar went towards mourning him. Or even helping out Little Virgil: hotdog buns and a bit of a biscuit. And now you have to go shopping. Staying in bed as Virgil sleeps or leaving. Then there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Black Women’s History of the United States (5)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (One Day)
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 086 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 093 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Notice that healing is not among them. Yet, you did feel good this morning. Whatever do you mean? Five hours without feeling sick is considered a win at this time. At this time? I am so sick of time, and you will be too. Every minute of every day, sadly. Yesterday, I timed it so I would be back to watch NXT Stand & Deliver. Only to see that I had missed an hour and a half. Now sure, streaming. Then there were six hours of WrestleMania. And isn’t it funny I didn’t get sick? That only happens when… living. Please! That won’t ever be the right word. But when trying to do something, anything. Not being all “Mesmerizing Caroline.” Capable of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Wait for Me in the Rainbow by Laura Vidal, Georgia Delena
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 093 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Speaking of Caroline, that’s exactly what I mean, how she’s all into sex. Or otherwise, she’s mad as all hell. She’s unfocused; she’s a wreck. Your son, sleeping, or anything sexual. Otherwise, you’ll be effed up. That’s my advice to you. Answer the question, though. What do you want? That should have made the Impossible Things list. Finding that out. Impossible, Inane, Insane… Illegal? One of each? But at this moment, if there was Braxton? Again you want him back. But that’s not going to happen now. Is it? Reincarnation! Thoughts of such are Inane but why? Insane, how many OF subscriptions have I bought? And to join Braxton? Well, murder is illegal, but Euthanasia… what happened to B III. Yourself. WANTED! My B. Virgil…

791 Days Without B III, Day 232 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will