Tag: Honesty

Legacy 068 -B Visualizing E-Day, Virgil-

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Today’s no good. B showed up early. He had such wishes. E-Day wishes. I bought him a thing of fries. I ate a baked potato. He got a few slices of steak. But not this year. Uh, B’s gone, and V’s disappointed. But what if? B Visualizing E-Day, Virgil

Monday, September 7, 2026

Legacy 068 -B Visualizing E-Day, Virgil-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? Can we pretend, Daddy, just for a little while? Another world:

It’s sometime after 7 AM, Emergence Day. Braxton wakes up. You named your first two-legged son after. Virgil finally has someone else he’s attached to. I know you and my stepmom are ‘busy’. Virgil does his best to wrangle the rest of our siblings in.

Three, as stepmom wanted. Braxton, Willow, and Mirabel. Or perhaps their Braxton, Luke, and Leia? Three daughters… Katniss, Tris (Beatrice, B for Braxton), and Ember.

Dad, the point is Virgil tries to slow them down, and by the time they reach you and stepmom… “Happy Birthday, Daddy!” Three times over. Stepmom still knows better, ha.

“Love Is A Long Road.” And yours has further to go, but Stepmom, the three, my little brother Virgil approaching six. To us that’s 40.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And you’re 42. No longer the Slave “41” (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums), More like The Bullitts’ “All About You.” Because today is all about you, my father, this life… Existence?

Far from it. Farmland, fields full of flowers, food growing all over thanks to stepmom.

Her greenery. And you, my father? Living a life somewhere between Ryan and his Beauties by Jack Pinkhunter and Bikini Days by Michael Dalton. Do you see my stepmom as such a woman… She’s a woman of the land. You remain a man of leisure. A man of passions. As you sing to my furry little brother, “My life is a movie, fur buddies and boobies.” And your work, the discipline, never changes. Not even now. But what has Dad

You don’t want to die today. Above everything else. You’re not yearning to “go up.”

Somehow, someway, you’re not looking to me. You’ll “Never Forget Me.” Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Akon, and Memphis Bleek, sure, but never me. That’s what makes this day easier to bear than the worst day ever. You’ll never accept me being gone, but you can at least, for a while longer, know that you are “Alive.” You’re still breathing, so you can blow those candles out. You can take a breath and be happy (okay, too much to ask), but me, Virgil, and our two-legged siblings are all happy for you being alive. V and my stepmom?

I don’t want to know what you visualize. But Happy Birthday!!! B Visualizing E-Day, Virgil

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

“Endure, and keep yourselves for days of happiness.”
The Aeneid

2045 Days Without B III, Day 1486 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Legacy 067 -To Arms, B, V-

WillLeave a comment

I wonder how my Ma felt forty-two years ago on September 6th, not realizing she was about to make the worst mistake ever the day after. I was a C-section; I wasn’t fighting to get out. So why have I fought to stay? Prepare for disaster. To Arms, B, V

Sunday, September 6, 2026

Legacy 067 -To Arms, B, V-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you are no Space Marine. You got soul, but you’re not a soldier. T-Minus 1 day.

Today. Today? And today… Or rather, “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.” You can’t even Shakespeare right. And you expect to fight? Long to die, honestly. With the exception of M Anime’s extraordinary yabbos and how she’d wrap them. Emergence Day

Your head has been full of battle plans. Nothing would make you ‘gladder’ than to stay in bed today and tomorrow with your boys both left and right. Well, getting familiar with M Anime’s yabbos. She recently showed off her backside. Hallelujah Heaven. Sir Mix-A-Lot:

“Baby Got Back”
Sir Mix-A-Lot

“Once more into the breach, my friends, once more. We’ll close the wall with our dead. In peace, nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, summon up the blood, disguise fair nature with rage and lend the eye a terrible aspect.”

The Postman had his say as well. But today and tomorrow are not about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The keywords are life and happiness. Tomorrow won’t be.

Honestly, you hate your life. And Happy? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Sleepover Harem: Part 3 –
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Because you choose to… Keep living like this, lying like this, loving like this. No, you weren’t going to say Laugh. Now is not the time to laugh. You’re halfway tempted to get your church on by saying, “Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. “The Devil Is a Lie.” So is the cake. However, bank accounts

Those tell the truth. For example, you won’t be having your usual breakfast on E-Day.

It’s why you were dreaming about bacon, probably. No bacon, sausage, hash brown and pancakes. B, I’m sure, is appalled. Unable to pay for an E-Day staple? How dare you!

Your traditions only hurt you. My bad. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

If anything, the battles you have been recalling, the badass heroes, their bravery…

Victories, or at least glorious ends, every single one. Because tomorrow is not a celebration of birth; it is not forty-two years of a beating heart, another breath, or even playing with your twig and berries. It is simply the belief, the knowing that being born was a mistake and that only the loss of B is worse. So Emergence, Existing, Evolving.

Tomorrow is not an existential crisis. It’s facing Extinction and coming out the other side.

It is the stand of “The Thirteenth Warrior,” who prays “only to live the next few minutes well.” It’s Space Marines roaring “For The Emperor.” But loving Braxton, Virgil, and M? To Arms, B, V

2044 Days Without B III, Day 1478 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

WillLeave a comment

Thursday, September 3, 2026

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

2041 Days Without B III, Day 1482 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? The 2nd was horrific. I hate today. The 6th Fucked. Emergence Day

T-Minus four days. What’s the plan? Let’s start with the simple facts, Braxton. Ok, money

Not enough for anything. As a matter of fact, do you remember that twenty dollars?

Effing Day Job! And no, I’m not ready to talk about why I hate Kermit so much. B III. Me?

Oh, you know I’m going to talk about how much I hate myself today. But the twenty I’ll have to put up as the Glow Box people rob me yet again. With enough left for a cup of popcorn chicken and a can of Bloom. Are Big Macs still $8.00? So what’s with my RAGE?

You and your brother are good people, and you ain’t even people. I wish I weren’t. I hate forty-two, B.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

But that’s Monday’s problem, right? And I’ve already forgotten how bad this Friday is going to be. Again, I built up one word in my head: “Disgusting,” and Fucking panicked.

And today, that word, or these words, are the panic: “Birthday” and “Emergence Day,” B.

So please allow me… AHEM! I wish I were never born. I hate the fact that I wake up every single morning. I hate the fact that I killed the one who loved me the most. That is you, B.
.
And my Olds? I hate that I’m not the son they wish they had. A nearly 42-year-old bum, I know. And the ones I do love- Braxton, your little brother Virgil, M Anime- think I hate them so much, B.

Like porno, if I stay listing off everything that I hate about myself, you could pretty much call me Captain America. “I can do this all day.” Rage, rage against the dying of the light

What light B III? In your eyes? I handled that one. No cake this year. And with M, I try.

Virgil is whiter than white, but “The 3-3-3 rule” has never worked. Three days, three weeks, three months. He’s been here four years, and he’s still scared to death, Braxton.

Today, I’m scared of the Day Job, the lack of dollars, my wayward dick, etc. And also eww, right. The Rage Virus? There’s no party here but the ANXIETY. Horny as Hell, eww. Hateful. RAGEFUL. Older. Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 063 -Braxton And Virgil Leap-

WillLeave a comment

The leap to 42 is in a few days. The leap to 16 was too much for Braxton. And Virgil is trying to make it to 6. But we’re not frogs. Be we angels? We are but men, just some with more hair and four legs. We keep hopping along. Braxton And Virgil Leap.

Wednesday, September 2, 2026

Legacy 063 -Braxton And Virgil Leap-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I’m more like MAGA than I am like my boys. Unconditional love… Ringing any bells? Beats my playlist.

The Day Job? Again? Yes. And I don’t even want to talk about it now. Bigger fish to fry E

Or should I say frogs. Do you fry frog legs, bake, or whatever? All I know is I want a piece of Kermit’s ass right now. His legs will do. I thought I wasn’t going to talk about this? It’s T-minus 5 days. Emergence Day. Imagine if those poor bastards on Sera had the heads up. A world full of monsters beneath them. Only takes one to kill, doesn’t it?

Speaking of monsters and killing, MAGA. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that HATE is expensive, Inspector. It “Feels Good.” I ain’t gonna lie. But it’s more expensive than an ISP.

I can look up Jaundice.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

A medical condition that turns the skin and the whites of the eyes yellow because of high levels of bilirubin in the blood. Random, I know, Inspector. But I heard it in my dreams a couple of nights back. Why? Virgil’s tail? A bath is in order. Coldplay’s yellow. Yellow…

As in yellowbelly coward. No wonder I summoned up the blood today, my dear Echo.

But this wasn’t righteous. It was pure anger, rivaling the RAGE Virus. Remember B III?

The madness I hid from Braxton that led to my indifference and, days later, his death. I shouldn’t say that. No, no, Inspector! Back then I hated myself; today I hate the whole damn world because I wear my heart on my sleeve and then…

Blue? I should have been blue and thought about Braxton leaping out of this Hell. And Hell, Virgil will leap to be around me, or rather crawl like an escaping slave. It irks me too. But it doesn’t make me see red. And that’s what I saw today. Red. Genocidal.

Inspector, those are specific acts committed with the intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnic, racial, or religious group. “I’m not crazy or anything.” Superman? Nope.

Misanthrope? That I am. And it’s not easy “Bein’ Green.” Sick to myself, Inspector Echo. Wanting to leap my black ass off the ledge rather into the drink. Swimming’s terrifying.

But Langston Hughes is far more eloquent than I. Kermit? E-Day? Braxton And Virgil Leap

“The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.”
From Langston Hughes

2040 Days Without B III, Day 1481 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 062 -Fur B-V And Strippers-

WillLeave a comment

I hate this damn month. Next to January… 10 years ago I had more capital, confidence, and can-do attitude. Today, over $200 in cash, gone. I guess I can look at naughty things on the computer. And my girl promised her caboose. Fur B-V And Strippers

Tuesday, September 1, 2026

Legacy 062 -Fur B-V And Strippers-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? My very real, very HUMAN wife. What is this, Independence Day? I’m worried about E-Day.

And my boys. My boys! I miss the days I could send Braxton to his room. He don’t look for trouble, but trouble looks for him. And now he’s on the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, or wherever. The point is he’s not in timeout. Honestly, Little Virgil’s the neediest s.o.b sometimes.

And I can’t lock him up for nothing. Not even you and the Neon Jungle’s “Trouble” not a good stripper song for you? It’s not like I have any cash either. It’s the “1st Of Tha Month,” and where’s my money? Is $200 enough for a lap dance? Writing? Blogging?

“Blogging is not writing; it’s graffiti with punctuation.”
Contagion (2011)

Dude in Contagion had it right. And here I am about to be forty-two in six days. Last time I can call myself Forty-One, Ben-Hur.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

A slave, not a doctor, not a director or pornographic passions, a decider of language.

Father, can’t you just say “writer”? Braxton and Virgil would like to know. I’m sure our two-leggeds would say the same. I can’t say I was stripped of such a title I never earned, ok.

Fucker that I am. As in the guy that fucks around too much. The guy fucking you. Do I have that to look forward to if nothing else on E-Day? Presents, gifts, desires, and finally

Finding myself at forty-two. I know where I want to be. “Always with Me, Always with you.” But where will be. Adam and Eve without Eden. Naked as “God,” though I am a fan of a woman who shaves, love.

And with The Magic Glasses/MIMA. That’s another thing I’ve been thinking about this afternoon, my love. If not worrying about Journey 062 B III Of E-Day, Meditation 062 Endings B Through V or Tale 062 B A Storybook Virgil, of course it’s been Legacy 061 -Virgil Will B Eating-. I swear, the things technology can do. Other than liking myself

Would that be the worst thing? I’m a bad man, my dearest. However, loving? Fucking?

The “Shape Of You” keeps me out of trouble lawfully. But living? Braxton and Virgil.

Hell! What about our family of HUMANS? Sometimes I feel like we’re trapped in a “Vivarium,” And things like fatherhood, which I want and love, are amazing. My E-Day wasn’t planned. Fur B-V And Strippers

2039 Days Without B III, Day 1480 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 061 -Virgil Will B Eating-

WillLeave a comment

“Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear.” My mind feasted on that today. And my belly? Well, at least seven days from now. E-Day? V was looking forward to a few bites of Medium Rare Steak. Still, “Virgil Will B Eating.”

Monday, August 31, 2026

Legacy 061 -Virgil Will B Eating-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? Well, you haven’t killed anybody, the Magic Glasses/MIMA, and you’re sober.

First off, I guess the whole “killing anybody” angle wasn’t very funny, ha. Meaning me…

Second, the worst you’ve done with The Magic Glasses/MIMA is create outfits for the Order of Bible Black, or um the Order of the Black Bible, with two Asian women. A mom and daughter duo. Is this one of those things you’d send me out of the room, Dad? SIGH

And as far as being sober… Now that’s something you would tell me about and not the bottom of the bottle—memories of you and my bro. You drunk off your ass on E-Day, Dad.

LANGUAGE! Yes, I know. But last year you had enough money to get drunk and dance with Virgil to “King of Wishful Thinking.” M Anime…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Ms. M Anime to V and I, I suppose. Our potential future stepmom. Did you get her a present for her birthday last year? And on yours, you were only trying to survive, I know.

Today it was two bags of chips from the Day Job, two mini sausage biscuits, two popsicles… maybe. A bag of popcorn, a cappuccino, and a Raspberry Lemonade Bloom shot. And if you’re really lucky, maybe you won’t burn down the house using the oven.

“Someday you go through the rain
Someday you feed on a tree frog
This ordeal, the trial to survive
For the day we see new life”
Snake Eater, Cynthia Harrell

Yeah, you might be better off trying to be a “Snake Eater” rather than a pizza in the oven, my father. Thou Art Courageous, and I recall barking that while hiding. You did try, Dad.

Bacon. The simple things, my father. Remember meeting my Favorite.

Was it E-Day that she sent the pizza and then you left me and went to the movies with my Favorite Girl, and you came back with her? Yes, “I was intemperate in my youth.”

That’s a nice way of saying I hated her guts once upon a time. But never in my whole life, all fifteen years of it, did I hate you. And now we sit here, “Imagine,” me on your left, Virgil on your right, a late Monday afternoon and the biggest thing on your mind. Yabbos

M Anime’s to be precise, and I don’t need to know that, Dad. Anyway, there is your belly and what you and Virgil will eat 7 days from now. E-Day vittles. Virgil Will B Eating

“Sometimes we think that, because we don’t say the right things or love the right people or even think the wrong thoughts, that we don’t deserve a seat at the table”
Pledged To Him 12

To what crime do you not drive the hearts of men, accursed hunger for gold?
― Virgil, The Aeneid ―

2038 Days Without B III, Day 1479 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Legacy 060 -It, Not B, V-

WillLeave a comment

Plans for Emergence Day… “JSS” Just Survive Somehow. Do I have a better plan? B III’s Fav Girl and I met on E-Day—one of the better ones. M and I were broken up last year. So I won’t lay this on her… V and I won’t have steak this year. It, Not B, V.

Sunday, August 30, 2026

Legacy 060 -It, Not B, V-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you look… Older. And next week? My Braxton, My Braxton, why have thou forsaken me! Wow

Too much. “Never Too Much,” when it comes to Funds, Fucking, and Fear. And for the record, you’re not Luther Vandross. You’re not the monster from Stephen King’s “It”. MJ “This Is It”? Nowhere near close. And what about Captain Mifune “Alright, this is it!!”

You wish! And not an E-Day wish either. No, you look at how you lived. Every day is like you facing down your Old Man. When you walked up and down the street going nowhere, only for him to beat your ass that night. When you wrote down the math problems and had not one answer, and he smacked the shit out of you. Too bad it wasn’t the social anxiety. When you failed every test, and you kept telling him before exams, But, But, But! Like somehow in one day you’d turn it all around. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Harem of the Dead –
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 026 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That’s “The Script,” ain’t it? Heading into forty-two years of life. Bullshit! You know it.

But to die well. To die, well? It should have been that night when you fought your Old Man. Knife at the ready—Braxton, who had been kicked four feet into a door in front.

Braxton was ready to die defending you. The Old Man ‘helped’ give you life. But you gave B love. And thus you see where loyalty is: courage, companionship, cash unneeded.

Honestly, to give Virgil that Courage, companionship, and such love. What a way to spend a last week at forty-one (Ben-Hur Drums). Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Hell! You should be plotting how you intend to spend this week. Fucking, food, furry.

Was last year really better times? Journey 060 Braxton and Virgil Clocked That’d be no.

And you’re almost in the exact same place. Hurting, hearing impaired, and there is her…

M Anime? Which one is better? A for Anger or F for Forgiving. There’s apologizing…

Which she has done. And you’re not asking for another. Something you just have to live with. But with nearly forty-two years of damage… No wonder survival isn’t so glorious.

But Friday you will have decisions to make. The bills hit on E-Day, though. Mistakes?
You’ll make a few, I’m sure. How does one plan for Heaven or Hell? Not you! It, Not B, V

“Live for nothing, or die for something.”
Rambo

“Love for nothing, and die for something.”

2037 Days Without B III, Day 1478 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 057 -Talking Anime B-V-

WillLeave a comment

Thursday, August 27, 2026

Legacy 057 -Talking Anime B-V-

2034 Days Without B III, Day 1475 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? “We’ve Only Just Begun,” haven’t we, B? Virgil, help us. At least he’s here.

V isn’t someone that can be refuted, who I would return in a million years, and must one day be reckoned with. That is, if I can keep him alive. Vet visits, eye appointments, docs

Cash basically. And do you know what I realized, B? I never asked you whether V could join our family. While I may have forgotten his Gotcha Day… Saturday, August 13, 2022. I will never forget you all but pushed him into the car. You know V’s never jumped in.

Here we are in 2026, and I still had to listen to him cry in your room until his rescue…

Vis-à-vis picking him up in his pillow and bringing him into the Den. It’s like I’m “The Big Bad Wolf.” That’s heavy. Literally, “The Heavy.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

And speaking of picking things up, lifting… Something, something, truck unload, spirits, and then son. Tell me what effing happened yesterday with your potential stepmom.

Remember the day we had to have “The Talk” about you not humping your toys around your favorite girl. Not latching on to her yaboos or behind. Seriously, Braxton Barks.

Anyway, she loved you even for the eight months after E-Day as you threatened fingers.

She became your favorite, and we both love her, but then there’s M Anime… Braxton…

She’s my favorite HUMAN. Hell, Braxton, you’re a little god, the angel on my shoulder, my prince. She’s my goddess. The Most Beautiful Girl in the World. My Phoenix Queen.

But last night, Geez Louise!

“You Always Hurt the One You Love.” Well, I killed you. The only silver lining is that 2-V is “healthy,” but hasn’t seen a vet. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself on E-Day. I fucking hate that I was born. And here we have M Anime on the 24th of 2025.

Braxton, you hurt me; you left. I hurt me; I stay. M Anime hurt me; she left. And then you returned. Not a reincarnation of your brother, but as the song goes, “He Lives In You.” I’m Still Here.” And M Anime came back. Of you, me, and her, who do I hate? I’m starting with the Man in the Mirror. LOVE? Talking, you, V, M… “Someday.” Talking Anime B-V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 056 -B’s Are Silent, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Wednesday, August 26, 2026

Legacy 056 -B’s Are Silent, Virgil-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And I don’t only mean the fact that Virgil catches far too many Z’s. And when awake, Inspector…

B was like this; your brother was all that, the almighty Braxton Barks Bradford, Inspector.

I miss him. And besides his last breath, the last beat of his heart, how his head bobbed, Inspector. I remember the silence. B was brave enough to exist in silence. But he would bark his head off for anything and everything. And that’s what I’m thinking of right now. And it’s too much damn noise. Or it’s silent like a graveyard. “You choose.” Major…

“For better or for worse, there’s going to be wheat, and there’s going to be chaff. You choose, boys. Remember, you choose.”

“Shut the fuck up! Holy shit! Suck a dick, will you? I mean, just… You fucking lotus-eater. You old sack of shit. Shut up!”
The Long Walk (2025)

Excuse me, The Major from The Long Walk. The sound of my boots pounding pavement

More like wood or linoleum flooring, the Day Job, “The Bad Place,” my boys imagine.

Speaking of imagine… “Whatever You Imagine.” Wasn’t I last week or the week before… “Disgusting.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I made up a whole story in my head that I had offended someone at the Day Job and they would never let me touch the speaker again. My nearly forty-two-year-old ass worried over something so trivial. And do we need to walk down the road of E-Day, Inspector E.

That’s causing the most noise—the sound of blowing out candles on an Emergence Day cake that I will never light. Hell, I might not have enough cash for a cake this year, I bet.

Between keeping Will’s Writings, Witticisms, and Wisdom/The Unfinished Archive alive. And the way my ISP keeps robbing me. I’m losing “Mo’ Money, Mo Money,” Echo.

That chime of the phone is rarely good news. And B III and 2-V’s, stepmother…

Potential Future stepmom to be sure. Braxton knows I appreciate her dirty Spanish, my dear Inspector Echo. But still I come off as one of The Yayhoos singing “Baby I Love You…” but leave me the Fuck Alone! Though that’s not exactly true this week…

Seriously! This bitch (Braxton’s words) broke my heart the 24th of last year and had me “Smokin Out The Window.” And all I wanted to hear was her crying, screaming, and moaning. Her and the man she supposedly chose. Suffering? Sexually? Am I a SIMP? A Sadist? The stuff I hear in the silence. Sex causes me not to think. The creation of a life…

Admittedly attempted, allegedly. But death can be noisy too. Shut-up? Scream? B’s Are Silent, Virgil

2033 Days Without B III, Day 1474 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 055 -Braxton’s Hand, Virgil’s Pa-

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Tuesday, August 25, 2026

Legacy 055 -Braxton’s Hand, Virgil’s Pa-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And as a machine/program once said… You know The Merovingian from 2003’s The Matrix Revolutions:

“It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity.”
The Merovingian, The Matrix Revolutions

I wish I could say it was the heat. You married a crazy man. Or at the very least, love…

A grieving one. But for once this isn’t about Braxton breaking my heart. Or how I’m breaking Virgil’s. This is something we have in common. While I’m drumming up movie quotes, here is another from “Love Story” 1970: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” And we have both said that until we’re blue in the face. I only wish I had died, ha.

Not you though! Braxton barked the other day that I try and tell you “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die.” Our love didn’t die. But I’ve been thinking about the anniversary of our breakup last year. When’d we meet again?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

No clue. I don’t remember hellos. And I’m “Too Good at Goodbyes.” I remember pain way more than pleasure. Even Saturday, January 24, 2026 wasn’t about us saying hi, hmm.

It was meant for closure. And wouldn’t you know it, we got back together. You see, you were the first one to make a commitment, and then, magically, fucking left. Blood is one thing: my Olds, my sister… other family. B III didn’t leave on his own accord, my love.

That’s why it’s Treachery. Braxton would have fought to the end. Virgil is trapped, love.

That’s another story. But you? You chose hello, and as nothing happened, you chose bye.

Goodbye, really? Is it any wonder the Magic Glasses/MIMA created The Unfinished Archive? Goodbye’s forbidden.

And I’ve been thinking about the differences beloved look at my sons, for example, SIGH.

Every day it is/was “Love you B, Love you, Braxton.” Now it’s “Later V, Later Virgil.” “I’m An Asshole,” I know. But Braxton was damn near human. Virgil, after all this time, is still somewhat a pet. He’s my son regardless, but a pet. And you love, before Sunday, August 24, 2025, went from being on Braxton’s level “The Blackjack Scale” of 21 to below Virgil’s at 18. And the fact that you can’t make it back up hurts me more than it hurts you.

“I’m a killer. I’m a murdering bastard, you know that. And there are consequences to breaking the heart of a murdering bastard.”
Bill, Snake Charmer, Kill Bill: Volume 2 (2004)

I’m not as bad as Bill, but I wanted to know how I could punish you. Why? My rib. Your hand. Braxton’s Hand, Virgil’s Pa

2032 Days Without B III, Day 1473 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will