Tag: Humiliation

Chronicle 127 ~B There Some Line~

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Crossing the line varies from person to person. Defending Nazis, harming pets, or liking R. Kelly, or more to the point, the music he made. The only lines I’ve been crossing these days are international currencies and stuff B needs. B There Some Line

Friday, November 5, 2021

Chronicle 127 ~B There Some Line~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which to answer the title question is no. With that money, you’ll do any damn thing.

Save Braxton? I keep telling myself that. In a way, I was lucky my boy was the scrappiest man I knew/know. No broken bones. B III’s heart kept right on beating for fifteen years despite the few when he was on medication. The meds I bring out 278 Days afterward. Hell, I couldn’t be bothered to afford some stairs. Little Braxton learned to fly, always. Sophia, I hate making that “joke.” There’s also the fact I wouldn’t have Braxton neutered. B III was a man, and I wouldn’t take that away, no. Um, B III should have been bred, hmm. Again how did it all end Lady Sophia? Name on the line, and I’ll never cross another with his name on it, to be sure.

Because I’m a Bad Man, and no, not R. Kelly bad. To appreciate the art but not the artist… Didn’t I say years ago that I wanted to be as infamous as the Marquis de Sade? If I’m going down, you know the crime I should be punished for. Every time I hear sirens Sophia. But these days, it’s been the beeps, chimes, and dings that have been telling my story. God knows I’m still lying to NaNoWriMo. For the record, counting our conversation with Lady Sophia. This will be 3,900 words completed today. Well, why not 5,000? Hell, if I swore on Braxton’s name, I’d still be a lying piece of shit. 6,900 when I’ll tell NaNoWriMo it’s 8,500. Writing most of the day.

I keep telling myself that I should let my anger fuel me. A lot of the time, I fear the man in the mirror. Do you know why no one else should? It would require me to have more energy than to cross the line, which is the edge of the bed to the floor. Energy, FEAR. Sophia, there’s been one other thing keeping me glued to the sheets or shower walls. Reaching 5,000 words would be easier if I wasn’t looking up Pokémon Bras and lingerie. Every OnlyFans girl would kick my ass for how many “euros or quid” I’m spending. However, I crossed the line with that girl too. That was yesterday, but wow, Lady Sophia. Crossing the line feels damn good. But wrong. B There Some Line

278 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 120 ~How Scary Stories B~

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My NaNo project came to me as I sat in a Burger King drive-thru spending $3.00 as $12.00 an hr ain’t going to cut it. Wow, I was lied to. That’s like saying the black guy dies in the horror movie, oh she’s pretty, there’s a virus. How Scary Stories B

Friday, October 29, 2021

Chronicle 120 ~How Scary Stories B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford a Lobotomy. Why would I forget Braxton’s death, my father’s call?

No, no, no, as we’re close to All Hallows’ Eve and all, I want to tell you another scary tale. Forgive me for the lack of a title, “Behave In The Cherry Patch” is all I have for NaNo now. Anyway, AHEM, once there was a boy who thought he received a Day Job promotion. The boy would be in charge for once; he would make a lot of money. Perhaps he could live The American Dream. He would work hard; he would do it not only for himself but to honor his lost boy, B III. So he looked at his paycheck to see his worth and… $12.00 hr. Scary, isn’t it? It gets so much worse, Lady Sophia, doing the numbers this morning.

But before that, how about another shot at a horror tale. Quasimodo, Jigsaw, zombies, ha. At least I have the good sense not to show my face. Anyway, it was HARD getting up this morning. You know what I mean, that “third leg.” Usually, I only got two, Braxton’s walk. No Lady Sophia, without him, I’m allowed to indulge in the light. So I see what I’m doing, disgusting. 271 Days since Braxton left. 161 Days I was a monk. Now 6 Days of abstinence. Well, at least I didn’t put this morning’s shenanigans on OnlyFans. My Stuff and Thangs. Still, the monster grows. It’s like I’ll come apart any second. My skin is crawling, and I’m so cold. The boy, the man, I am.

Or whatever it is that I’m becoming because I won’t be writing another Braxton novel. “Behave In The Cherry Patch” will be my next book. Yet to write Chapter characters. My tale will be about lost “loves” back from the dead. A Technological Necromancer, ha. The things we do for love. Not that I could write quite like Game of Thrones. Show or books, hmm? It depends on who you ask, and I’m not asking people. Not B III’s book. Lady Sophia, the story will be about Father Bridgman’s dead children. And plenty of hot pieces of ass when it comes to The Moondust. What’s scarier than telling the truth about a work of fiction. Like JoAnna Luna’s hotness in “Display?” How Scary Stories B

271 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 118 ~Dad Of A B~

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Didn’t I get promoted at some point? Thursday, I’ll know if I was a child that was lied to about Christmas morning. $12.00 an hour I should be ashamed, or that I’m paying Love Wolf how much? It was different when I was working for B III. “Dad Of A B”

Wednesday, October 27, 2021

Chronicle 118 ~Dad Of A B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but none of that would bring life or, being specific, Braxton back. The same old regret

Braxton was/is a better man than me, and as I’ve said, what’s the best part of manhood? Fatherhood. Waking up at 37, mourning a son gone 269 Days, knowing you’ll never have another fur-baby or human. For my failures, Braxton would’ve been a good dad. Hell, he made a man out of me. I once thought that’s what women are for. Did I offend anyone? No more than myself with Humiliations Galore this week, but we’ll get to that. I should have let Braxton breed. I could have gotten a free puppy. Being a granddad? Braxton was terrified of girls, well, furry girls because he was so in love with Carolina Bound’s Yabbos. If you’re wondering where I’ve been this morning. Yeah, it’s Yabbos related.

But wait, didn’t I say I’m AHEM “determined to live a life of abstinence—no partying, no women, no nothing.” Thank you, Monique Moreau. Yet I’m still drooling over M Anime, Cherry, “LL,” a paid subscription to Love Wolf… Less ashamed of that than yesterday. Inspector, where are my “huge cojones, well other than OnlyFans, of course. So yesterday, the truck supervisor left for some emergency. This dude younger than me, who’s worked for fewer years than me, takes over the truck crew. And I let him. No fight, nothing. Inspector Echo, I want to run a brothel one day. I’m reading about some guy’s harem this week, “Dystopian Girls 2.” I call myself a Dominant, but I am no leader of men. The truth.

When I was in the Navy for a “couple” of weeks, I couldn’t do a damn thing by myself. Even now, when something goes wrong, I have to go running to my “father” for help. Keeping Braxton alive, though, once we were out on our own. Well, the ending result. Braxton, my little B, B III, “my eldest son, heir to my throne, defender of my kingdom,” is gone. In a way, he’s lucky to be free of this place. That he does not have to watch, his father fall. Yup, that’s a bit from Troy (2004). Anyway, B does watch, and that’s my shame. It’s all that’s holding me together. Because people, seeing me. Seeing myself, I’m my son’s daddy. Dad Of A B.

269 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 113 ~Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’~

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It’d be less humiliating to be on my knees to God than how the Day Job had me crawling around Thu. Ironic that it was the shoe lady that had me doing that. What I wouldn’t give to be on the floor playing with B again. Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’

Friday, October 22, 2021

Chronicle 113 ~Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I always have a soft place to land when I fall flat on my face.

So with my Republican ideology. I wish I could bury my head in the sand after yesterday’s humiliations. I did get off the Day Job early but let’s not forget I don’t even have money. This means I’m less than dirt, or should I say lint, as I’m lying in bed all day again. I should go shopping, but I’m already making up excuses. No, the word should be “Lying.” I would have been better off lying there and letting people step all over me. Hell, I was on the floor replacing those damn soft mats. I can do both; indeed, I followed through Sophia. Let’s focus on the lies, though. The fact that I thought, “I’m Gonna Be Somebody.” Now that would be Braxton.

There were days when Braxton would curl up beside my head, and I could go blind with all his hair. I would take one of the days when he would step on my face. How about the lies B would tell to get me to follow him and attempt to do something with this existence? With him around, I had to walk the straight and narrow path because where’s Braxton? Sophia, I try that at my Day Job, ok. Once again, I’m a fucking joke. I hate it there always. What have I been doing all this morning, making mistakes, and why? Comfy spots SIGH. Be it burgers, books, boobs, I spent how much again? The bucks better be there, or is $12.00 hourly it?

“The pessimist looks down and hits his head. The optimist looks up and loses his footing. The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.”
― The Walking Dead, 07×02

Was my Manager lying to me? It wouldn’t be the first time. Let’s focus on my lie, though. Which was, I wouldn’t be able to get fries for Braxton yesterday. As you can see, ta-da. What would have happened if I had this drive while Braxton was alive? B’s waiting. Another way of lying to myself so I don’t have to look. B III’s in the den waiting for fries. I stay in the dark so I can pretend he’s lying somewhere, and I have to look out for him. Days like yesterday say I should follow him and let his barking drive away, the noise. B III breathing did too. His lies that I’m a good Daddy I can forgive. Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’

264 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 112 ~When Braxton Fries Away~

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I talked about food last week. B would be ticked off to see I didn’t bring fries back. I bought a chicken biscuit, and I yelled at McD’s for their STUPID rewards program I never signed up for. B’s brain and belly were linked. When Braxton Fries Away

Thursday, October 21, 2021

Chronicle 112 ~When Braxton Fries Away~

263 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I hope I picked something up but no fries B. I had a chicken biscuit.

Yes, I’m talking to you on a Wednesday. As always, I think back to when it would have mattered. The Wednesday, you cried, and by Thursday, I thought you would be okay. One more thing to be sorry for. I didn’t want to bring you down, and I’m bawling guaranteed. Not over Colin Powell, though. While I was in line today, again Wednesday, I saw the flag at half-staff. I don’t look up most days. I can only imagine what you think of me. You’re higher now, and if I had wings, a cape, a pile of money, I’d make my way up, B III. You have to believe me; I’m still trying, but it’s never enough. I’m talking like no fries for us both.

A day without fries is like a day without sunshine. If I didn’t bring food home, then we walked. Which one was better for you, B? There was no final walk and no last fry when your time came. Time, what did I do with all of mine today? And by Thursday, I’ll be out. I often envision what Hell will be like. Never getting to nap again. Wasting time. Braxton, I remember thinking the police would show up and take me away. Alone again. Is it sitting here, waiting to die? I didn’t even have it in me to make it back downstairs B. I wouldn’t expect you to follow me. I carried you in your old age, but you came up by yourself.

If I had the money, where would you like to eat? I’m sure the Rainbow Bridge has better fries than McDonald’s. Burger King, Seafood & Chicken Box, Red Lantern, etc. I swear, the best places are either fucked-up or closed down. Don’t repeat that language. You’re your father’s son, after all, and I want to keep you on the up and up. Well, unless you feel like taking a trip to visit me. I found some of your bandannas from PetSmart on the floor, and I figured you’d been by. I know I’m in your room every day. Little B. Thursday morning, there will be 263 for all the Days you’ve been gone. There are lots of ways to be empty. When Braxton Fries Away

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 111 ~Bucket Says B III~

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All the small things, chicken biscuits off the shelves and not getting them in the drive-thru. The Yabbo files I’ve been working on instead of writing. Of course, there is always my little boy, gone 262 Days. “Bucket Says B III,” sometimes.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Chronicle 111 ~Bucket Says B III~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would make it in for a chicken biscuit sometime today. There’s always time.

Um, no, there’s not, but I did wake up around two AM today. But getting two more hours of sleep, I woke up at four and then fell right back to sleep, yep. It’s not nightmares but wanting to wake up dead and then seeing death staring you in the face. B was my life. Doggie kisses or some pretty girl’s… it’s been a long time since I’ve made a comparison. Where are we now; 262 Days without Little B. Even longer when it comes to the chicks. Hell, all the chicks in the world wouldn’t make up for Braxton being here. A monk again? I’m trying Inspector Echo, twisting my legs all into knots. As it stands, 3 Days, 17 Hours. Yes, it’s timed.

Braxton isn’t very patient when it comes to his favorite things in the world. Going outside, a biscuit for his bathroom spot, doggie cuddles from Moi? Inspector, it’s Fries always. These days as a routine, I stop and pick up fries except for Saturdays. If I’m going to betray my best friend. When I pick up a box of Street Tacos, I’ll choose onion rings. Bastard. Only this week, all I’ve wanted is a chicken biscuit but with the “promotion” and all. As the song goes, “Work sucks, I know.” If I go pick one up today, what’s left this week? Echo, a lesson from Braxton, “The best legs, breasts, and thighs are in a bucket of chicken.” My little boy was a wise one.

I’m not talking about my penis; that would be my big boy, right? Besides thinking of the vittles, I haven’t been getting. Or my Braxton, of course. It’s been all about boobs, some Yabbos. When you’re hauling boxes of crap, what’s a man to do? If I was writing Echo? Now I’m not complaining about OnlyFans. I’m thinking the reason I started that is because the house is Hell. But the Day Job is what took me away from Braxton. Should I be thanking them or cursing them? At least the ASM quit, so yay. I still need to eat. Chicken for my table or more like for Braxton’s tummy. For now, I’ll go write at the dining room table, SIGH. Bucket Says B III

262 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 105 ~Restaurants With A B-Plus~

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A woman at the Day Job says to eat more. Has she seen what I make? I have no qualms about my body, and if B were here, I would make sure to get a side of fries. To be honest, how does M Anime eat at all? What is B eating? “Restaurants With A B-Plus.”

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Chronicle 105 ~Restaurants With A B-Plus~

256 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are you checking up on me any? I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t, Braxton.

I remember I would have fleeting thoughts before you were gone, how this would be. Once I told your Aunt that I would listen to “See You Again” when I was mad at you. I don’t recall the last time I heard it. There was a time I would play it and others every day. It beats my ranting, raving, and rambling, wouldn’t you agree? I tried not to when you were sleeping. Which begs the question, Braxton, why are we talking this morning? Because your Daddy didn’t have any fries to stick in his mouth. The Day Job called. Braxton, how could I say no to you and yes to those PEOPLE? At the end of the day, you had to eat, nothing more.

Food has been the name of the game all this week. If you need another reason to be pissed at me, besides everything else. Yeah, I haven’t been bringing food back, or it was chocolate. Yesterday, I started to share something with Inspector Echo, but I didn’t know how to word it. I still don’t, but here it is. Truth, I haven’t been eating the way I should this past week. It’s not my intention to starve myself like I did years back. Hell, the only reason I’m still breathing, I’m Alive, is because of you and the Day Job. I love you and hate them, Funny how that works. If I survive today, then I keep my promise to you. If not, we’re together.

It’s what we in the business call a win-win. Thank you, Emily, “Just SUMM Reactions.” I’ve been subsisting off of movie reactions and eating like the contestants of Squid Game. How I wish you were here after Episode 8. I can’t justify buying a steak if I can’t share it with you. Emergence Day was an exception, of course. That was one more promise kept. Like wanting to help M Anime? Braxton, I know you love your Aunt Carolina Bound. She’s a lot less picky when it comes to food. M Anime and I would starve each other, you know. If anything, that would mean more for you. But you are your father’s son, Braxton. I made around 220 last week… Restaurants With A B-Plus

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 104 ~Suffering Is To B~

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Braxton didn’t suffer in death. Little B, no, he saved that for me with his last look. Before, as he lay in his bed, belly empty. And I knew; French Fries, Popcorn, or anything that hit the floor would tempt him. Not even a bite. “Suffering Is To B.”

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Chronicle 104 ~Suffering Is To B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And if I were like all the others, that means the rules don’t apply to me.

Excuse my politics at what 7:30 in the morning? Oh, I got up on time, earlier even. I wouldn’t call it a nightmare as my final thought after “Goodnight B, Sweet Dreams.” It is that I won’t have to wake up. I dreamed someone was here… I scared them away. To think my time always took a hit when B was here. I lose even more now that I don’t have him to protect me. That’s on top of everything I do in remembrance of him. Let’s not forget that I can’t plan on crying, but it happens everyday Echo one way or another. I even told M Anime that no matter the pain, I think of Braxton. Nothing ever trumps that hurt, shame, sin.

Not yesterday’s “ear fidgeting.” I swear if I end up in one of those disgusting videos with a bug in my ear? I’m always down for whatever wants to take me out and straight to Braxton. I’ve been looking at my hand and these two marks, minor nicks. My boss slammed a piece of hardware there by accident. Um, I should thank her, It reminds me of a nip from B III. Of course, the worse thing about this week, besides Braxton being gone? The Day Job. How about as the song goes? “Takin’ the bumps and the bruises, Of all the things of a two-time loser.” Now I’ve told you about this before. How I passed out because I didn’t eat, and Braxton saved my life. Poor us, right?

My new method of “purging” since, yeah, I can’t keep my dick in my pants. Thank you, Stuff And Thangs, aka OnlyFans. And I got Carolina Bound watching too, fantastic. Ok, you remember, after starving myself, I wound up in the hospital. My Old Man didn’t want to pay, and my Ma ended up footing the bill. Yes, my shame. I’m more ashamed that Braxton had dirty water due to my health, and I swore it would never happen again. Inspector, it never did, but I starved myself again and got kicked out by my Old Man. That was years ago, but then this week… Damn, I got to be careful how I say things… Guess I’ll tell Braxton tomorrow, yep. Suffering Is To B.

255 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 098 ~B STUPID THEY Say~

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Hey STUPID, Slave, Sucker, so a day at work when I rather stay home with my dog, my best friend, my son but oh wait. When he was dying, I was working; the day after, I sat with him as he crossed the Rainbow Bridge; I worked. “B STUPID THEY Say,” yep.

Thursday, October 7, 2021

Chronicle 098 ~B STUPID THEY Say~

249 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Well, let me apologize for “that word.” How I hate “Hey STUPID, I Love You.”

But to quote another song, “I Feel Stupid.” Considering the 28th of January, when I didn’t know you were dying… I know I’m sorry, Baby B, it’s been a long day. Only am I talking about today or Monday? Why am I talking to you so early? By this time, I’d be in no mood. Oh, I’m STUPID THEY’D say for hating the Day Job denying a slave’s existence, mine. I’m STUPID for feeling bad about it like I failed in life. I let you down, B, all for them. There will never come some moment I won’t be reminded that this hatred killed you. Fuck I will never learn my lesson. This morning I came back and what Braxton; ate, slept, vented, ranted, whatever.

Because I can’t be STUPID, Braxton. At least I try not to be but of course, if you ask someone. One more thing I miss about having you here B III. There was no one to ask, and you already knew. I bet you’re glad I can’t lock you behind a gate someplace, hmm? Yeah, when your daddy is doing something STUPID like this morning. Hell, I would take that over what happened today, and I do mean Thur. It’s no use speculating. Humiliations Galore but at least this week was “successful.” Keeping the Day Job not killing anyone. Braxton, I’m not trying to be funny. In 2017 I wrote, “Lesson 050 A Comedian Died Today.” I killed you, B, my audience, 249 Days Ago.

The one love in my life who thought I could do better. I’m full of apologies, aren’t I B III? Oh, I say, you’re dead, I killed you, I know-how. But um, I’m a dumb criminal, yeah, B III. So why care what THEY say? That will always and forever make me louder, Braxton. Constantly I’m repeating reasons to love you and miss you. Braxton, you’re my quiet friend? Is that insanity? Am I being ironic? Now I know I’m not imagining things. I’ve talked about how the silence is killing me but only not fast enough. Why I’m still talking to you when I should be reading. A boy with an imaginary friend, believing in ghosts, zombies, succubi, me… Braxton, B STUPID THEY Say

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 097 ~Braxton Promises To Pray~

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With my paws, I promise to walk beside you. To stand against any and all who come against us. To let you know where I am. But don’t touch them. I hate when God or his servants attempt to force my hand too. But the Day Job? “Braxton Promises To Pray.”

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Chronicle 097 ~Braxton Promises To Pray~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that’s not enough to see one’s true paradise, the right person, or my puppy now.

Yet on this Sunday, writing about Wednesday, as I play prophet. The humiliations, Inspector Echo, are getting worse. A revelation I’ve had of late sigh. When I was constantly worrying about Braxton, as long as he was okay… Well, life was Hell, so I believed. Inspector, these days, whenever I pray for strength, guidance, will. I always direct those whispers towards Braxton. Except for the Day Job. I continue to pop my wrists with a rubber band when I allow fear to guide my steps. Surprised my hands remain, Inspector. With all the work I’ve been doing today. Is that what I call it, talking to the Man in the Mirror. I was talking about a wedding band. Then my time out of the shower.

“Stuff And Thangs?” What I wouldn’t give to see a few $100’s, some $1,000’s appear in my wallet. B III wouldn’t understand money but anything that stopped me from leaving. I’m far less ashamed of being naked than whatever I’ve been doing this week. Hell, this Wednesday cannot be worse than the “Wednesday.” I remember B crying. As for me? You know I have never liked the terms owner, master, and the like. Someone wrote that dogs think they’re people; cats believe they are gods. Or even dogs think people are gods. Braxton never asked me to save him, only to hold him and bring him home. I couldn’t even do that. At least not in the way he wanted anymore. I wonder what B believed in. In me alone?

Braxton was blessed with paws, not hands, and he didn’t appreciate me touching them. Braxton is supposed to be beside me at times like these. These hands for petting Braxton. Inspector, I am ashamed I can’t do that anymore. Doesn’t that make today seem better? How I like to think Braxton was/is optimistic. At least he was/is good at pretending. Daddy needs only to return, and regardless of what happened, he would make it better. Echo, I gave him a treat before I left as I can’t stand lies, even for the love of Braxton. I still pray for him whenever I go. Does he watch over me? Even when I was no longer a monk. Doing whatever Day Job wise. Braxton Promises To Pray

248 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will