Log 359 ~Willing The Limbo Game~

I don’t play party games, and I’m not much of a dancer, but I’m not crying about Indiana Gone. Well, she did have to deal with some racist jerk. Anyway, how about my game of life tonight? Willing The Limbo Game

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Log 359 ~Willing The Limbo Game~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, as I sink to the lowest denominator when it comes to people. Hell Inspector Echo, Sex gets a worse rap than violence. I could go either or and as always go down even lower. How about being sad, with general disappointment?

Well, let’s start with my favorite subject, can you guess? Sex, my dear Inspector, and did I say I broke NO FAP earlier this week. Yeah, sometime this afternoon even, so tomorrow is going to be lovely? Geez, Inspector Echo, I can’t survive two days now. As THEY say, like people in Hell want ice water. Isn’t that where I’ve been when we start talking about the Day Job. Am I using that as an excuse? I was all “discombobulated” last week and then… people. It’s one thing to think of MILF Dos as an angel, a queen, or a goddess. How I already feel like a slug for doing something, I still don’t know what I did wrong. At least Sex brings me to life. Everyone at the Day Job makes me want to die. So yeah, I go back to bed and wank off to Tifa Lockhart and Aerith Gainsborough; wait until tomorrow.

Speaking of going lower, what’s that “old” meme AHEM, “What Are Those?” I’ve never worried about designer shoes, but to quote a famous Will, “And what the Hell is that smell?” Those would be my boots, Inspector Echo. It’s not like my money situation has my pants falling down. Yes, I know, I still have money to worry about “Yabbos.” How many times have I mentioned Hell tonight? If I were to die, it would be me looking at Yabbos and never touching them for all eternity, always another pair.

Now I’m not planning on dying unfortunately for myself and others. Still, there are some people I hate with everything within me. Only I have their blood in my veins, or I still need a paycheck no matter how small. What about My Dæmon, who I love like pancakes? I’m not the father that I should be ever Inspector Echo. The only good reason I look down is all him. Otherwise, it’s my penis, the putrid smell of my boots, or that person in the mirror I can’t stand seeing.

My apologies Inspector Echo, for my weakness and wastefulness; I’m not Willing The Limbo Game.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 352 ~She Never Existed, Willie~

My Olds gave me more time than I deserved before they kicked me out. My son was blessed with my good patience. Women though, talk about twenty seconds, I always find out the ending has come late at night ha. “She Never Existed, Willie”

Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Log 352 ~She Never Existed, Willie~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which is only one more thing I want to breathe into existence. MILF Dos never existed, and today or yesterday (Time-Travel, remember). So too, our FINAL connection. Now that’s a lie. While I’m all about revealing my secrets, I do keep some and hers as well. Inspector, I’m not a bad man. Hell Inspector Echo, I never mean to be ever. Still the fact that I’m sitting here whining; that this whole week will be about, I don’t know. Why don’t I humiliate myself a lot more and try to help her if she needs it?

There hasn’t been a day yet, where I have written her off entirely. I’m like a puppy with a bone, well a boner, but I’m still on NO FAP. As for her, though, I would never erase or delete what I have, but she’s no longer on my phone… close enough. I’ve been talking about “The Nine” all this week, right. Here’s a story idea that’s more in Lady Sophia’s realm, Ghost Brothel… only a thought, Inspector Echo. Speaking of having any semblance of those, MILF Dos is still hard to talk about, so why continue? I’ve been sitting here procrastinating with all manner of things. As always, I’ve never been a typical porn guy, I need an emotional aspect. It’s one of the reasons I FEEL for Whitney Wright in PROM NIGHT. The fact that it’s been so hard to read Too Late By Colleen Hoover at all Inspector.

Yeah, freak her out more but mentioning the L word. Yes, I lusted after MILF Dos, but it was more than seeing her. She was my friend Inspector Echo, and Now you’re just somebody that I used to know. Only that’s the part that hurts the most. There was not even goodbye. Of the NINE, I’m seeing a score of four and four. Four of them blocked me, and four either disappeared, or I don’t talk to. The Harmonic War looked me up on Instagram but has been pretty silent. If MILF Dos had asked me to stop, would I have… YES. So why am I debating whether or not to try one last time? Goodbye is one of the best words. I understand why men pay women, but what is MILF Dos to me right now, friend, memory, hard-on?

Two words, one, zero, now three, “SHE NEVER EXISTED, Willie?”

I Will Have No Fear

Log 345 ~Willing Big Boy Pants~

The problem with pants, besides not being able to keep them on, or keep money in them, how much I hate McDonald’s right now and let’s not even talk about the Day Job… Willing Big Boy Pants; to stand up as a man

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Log 345 ~Willing Big Boy Pants~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t mean you’ll catch me in a tux. Hell, how many people have seen me naked? Still, Inspector Echo, my mouth is more a problem than one more “Head.” How about Dua Lipa singing, “I can’t teach a man how to wear his pants.”

So I sit here this morning with no pants but soon. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Back when I was in school, I was only trying to keep them on. I got pantsed more than a few times. Even when I had a belt that didn’t stop people from attaching, panties to my jeans. Hell to think nowadays, I don’t mind showing off my body and am actively trying to get women to take their clothes off. We’ll get to that, don’t you worry. The fact remains at this moment that the last thing that I want to do is put on pants. I credit Rocko’s Modern Life with teaching me how to adult. Did Rocko, ever wear pants? Well, at least I’m not looking at porn and to answer the question, yes. I have to wear pants to feed the Pup, to keep an inch of tenuous Power. I “Profit” and to work on my real Purpose in life.

Now I say PROFIT, Mr. Has His Shoes In The Freezer So They Won’t Smell. Yeah, I’m too cheap to buy new ones. You remember how people would talk about boys sagging pants? Again I know how to use a belt but not how to keep a few bucks in my pocket. So what did I spend money on this week? Yes, we’ll talk about it, but let’s say I hate having things in common with this President. I won’t buy necessities, but I always find room in the budget for something or someone beautiful.

Why bother wearing pants when I don’t have any balls? “But real gangsta-ass (people) don’t flex nuts” as the song goes. It’s so not the time I know, in a variety of ways. Didn’t stop me yesterday, though, so here we go. Here I am putting money down, and for what? Boobs, Butts, Bare Naked as always but would settle for at least a conversation. I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, for the belt that’s coming soon. The lost bucks and boob obsession. Willing Big Boy Pants.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 338 ~The Long Walk Will~

Should I have joined the protest… to be honest, it would be better than what I’m doing right now. I can’t fight for my own life, and here’s the plight of people who look just like me. “The Long Walk Will,” no I sit here until the Day Job calls, again

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Log 338 ~The Long Walk Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and do you know why that is? First and foremost, because I sit my ass down and write, pardon my language. The second involves bedrooms or more to the point pretty girls in the bed. Inspector Echo I still don’t have body issues, and I haven’t entirely given up the idea of Onlyfans. Now that leads me to the third reason, I should be the man “standing” behind the camera. Needless to say, I don’t want to take another damn step.

As Detective Del Spooner would say, “Stop cussing, go home.” What, Inspector Echo, you didn’t think I knew other members of law enforcement. Yes, I’m counting the movie I, Robot. Do you know what I don’t need to number? The days this week, my footsteps. While I’m speaking of films, though, I wish I could say something profound like in the movie Just Looking (1999). You know how Lenny’s Dad said, I don’t sell shoes, I sell journeys. I’m all for doing that with my books. God, Inspector Echo, feet turn me right off, yuck. However, I’m trying not to kink shame. For me, it’s feet, unless you count My Dæmon, I love his little paws. Anyway for Al Bundy it was ahem “Big” women. Another shoe salesman. Now don’t get me started on women like Momokun, Katie Cummings (in specific videos). I haven’t spoken to Cherry in so long.

Forgive me for looking at something higher than feet Inspector Echo. By the time you’re reading this, the Day Job has wrecked me, no doubt. Don’t chase money. It’s what all my motivations say, but I’m still here instead of choosing my purpose, women once again. What about more movies and more books, like Judge Dredd? Writing a book is starting to feel like the “Long Walk.” I use my words to keep the law rather than go outside breaking it. Richard Bachman, aka Stephen King, wrote The Long Walk. Isn’t the internet so beautiful? Anyway, three more tidbits about feet which I’ll need to survive this week. I love my lists, so one, adding to my fetish for thigh highs, stockings, leggings, I like ruffle socks. Taking a walk in my past, speaking of stories Shusaku and Isaku. Finally, if you’re going through Hell, keep walking. So I’m sorry.

Sorry I’m not protesting too, laziness The Long Walk Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 331 ~The Writes Of Will~

I keep telling myself that writing is going to save me. One of my books, perhaps? Maybe someone will finally discover my blog and not think of me as a psychopath. For now, it’s a note by the time clock. The Writes Of Will

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Log 331 ~The Writes Of Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and lie or not, I don’t want to be right now; lying. I mean, I don’t want to be jealous, flushed with cash, or sick. If you’re wishing for a goodnight’s sleep Inspector Echo, don’t check your Day Job before bed. I swear my “best” writing never happens at night. Now I know this is Lady Sophia’s calling. Only in a month or so, I’ll be celebrating my return to writing aka Lesson 001 ~Look Who Grossed Up~. I haven’t thought about that “Basic Bitch” in forever but as Herger the Joyous in The 13th Warrior:

“It’s all right, little brother… there are more!” ― Herger the Joyous, The 13th Warrior

More women… you have no idea how difficult it was not to use another “W.” Indeed, more words, more wickedness. So why didn’t I, you ask. Well, I know my Bible, Miss. I’m a man of God without a savior, as a particular song alluded to. I still pray for my son every day. Speaking of words that remind me, revile me or give me regrets, what is it about a “concept” like DAY? I knew a girl named “Day.” How I still love Rainey Summer Day, from The Five by Lily White. Only it’s like my addiction asks, “what will we do today?” After Class Lesson, Anna Vlasova/Alissa, and Eileen Kelly, aka Dawn Lora McKay in The Eve of a Cherry. Oh yeah, what about my novel? Am I ashamed that I use girls I know in my writing? Upset, I killed off, “Dawnie?” That Cherry inspired it, and I haven’t spoken to her?

“For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.” Psalm 84:10, the Bible

All I write about, I lose. The Law of Attraction being what it is, I should watch my tongue. Hell, I should watch my time considering the Day Job. One more piece of writing I have to do. Home and Kids, Shoes, my schedule, I only have two write one word. NO, or as the song goes, Hell Naw! Isn’t that what I always say when it comes to writing book reviews? I’ve only realized now I said I love Rainey and the book in general. What about Raphael and Succubus Lord? I am ashamed of the things that I’m not writing today. Inspector Echo, I am SORRY that I ruined my night. Forgive me for now hating the Basic Bitch. I apologize for my views on women and not doing better for my son.

Defending The Writes Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 324 ~Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims~

Maybe I won’t be able to find something for a customer. It could be wearing my bandanna as a mask because I was so late to the party, not fearing the apocalypse. Hell, it might be this conversation. Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims.

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Log 324 ~Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I am finding it hard to stay positive. Hell, I have another book idea? If I were to write down everything that humiliates, embarrasses, and shames me, SIGH. Now that would be over Fifty-Thousand words. Today I don’t intend to go so far, but the Day Job is calling, so I’ll be in no mood to write. You know Inspector Echo, I would make a “decent” masochist, seeing as how I want the pain. Oh, and sex isn’t something I’m ashamed of, for the most part, at least, um yeah?

Anyway took a look at my schedule for the Day Job, I’m expecting “humiliations galore.” Of course, I know I don’t have to. I could walk in, and my temperature could spike over 100° F.

I’m not sick but angry, expecting embarrassment, hiding my real work. Speaking of which while my real life sucks. Yes, I said it, SUCKS, another one of my most hated words. Only because people took it from me, you know. Back to my point, what about The Eve of a Cherry or GULP? I let people read my stories and what happens, hmm. Dead in the Water as the song goes, which should cool me off. Yes, I like Ellie Goulding and Abba. I have a dedicated playlist that sings of my shame. Not Ellie Goulding but others. Yesterday though, I was reading over GULP… well, damn you Grammarly app.

Will’s Hated Words:

  1. Skeevy
  2. Stupid
  3. Merge
  4. Happy
  5. Family-Friendly
  6. Just Kidding
  7. Tease
  8. Freak
  9. Lazy
  10. Sucks

It’s my fault too, though, for wasting so much time. Here it is May, and I should have long ago published. No, today I got so caught up thinking about the Day Job I had to take a nap. Now my whole schedule is thrown off. Showering at the whims of My Dæmon. Using him as an excuse, yeah, I should be ashamed. What about the new game I’m playing? Yes, Inspector Echo, I’m still all about Call me a Legend. Life imitating art, living in the plague era, chasing the girlies, and I’m not the best father I can be. How about being a friend? I’ve barely talked to Indiana Gone. I don’t know what M Anime is up to. Well, I did hear from Whisper Girl, and what about Cherry, yeah my novel.

I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, for expecting the worst. For sometimes even rooting for the Coronavirus. Living Will’s Embarrassing Wily Whims.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 358 ~Make It Worth Fighting For~

It’s my father’s birthday today, the man did threaten a teacher for me once before, went off on a judge too, but all Masters protect their slaves, my life is valuable to those that can use me, so I never fight for myself. “Make It Worth Fighting For”

Monday, June 24, 2019

Episode 358 ~Make It Worth Fighting For~

Ninetieth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now; money is worth fighting for Madam Justice. Every day I sound more and more like a Republican, how’s that for thinking positive. What about when I fought to do that story with my adopted Big Sister? Hell, does that mean my words are worth the struggle? I am helping my son get well and sitting on this loveseat the past few hours. What about not quitting my Day Job today or breaths coming in and out of my body.

The fact that I have The Alamo Fund or did proves this life isn’t worth shit (LANGUAGE). I know I must remain positive, but with my age, that’s a lot to surmount. If anything, I want to break out into a rousing addition of a “Girl Worth Fighting For.” Thanks to Disney but I can’t do this because of a girl. To me, it’s like rehab, you know, your family, your friends, your fuck buddies (CAREFUL). The truth is that if you don’t help yourself first; if you treat your life as expendable. How can you be expected to help anybody else or make amends? Like with my Six Impossible Things, if I can’t be a man, how can I be a father for my son? My motivations say that your WHY can’t be because of you. Another adds you must feel your cup up first to thrive at all.

Trickle Down theory, but I give so much I treat others before myself. It’s like I don’t deserve anything, like wanting to die so I won’t be in the way. Hell, it would beat today, how humiliated I was at work. Could you imagine my life if I fought as hard for me as I fight for others? B III had me on the phone, ready to punch-out the Vet, beating back sleep. I defied my Olds because I wanted to write. Still, when it comes to my right to exist? Will Smith says if you’re not helping you’re wasting your time. Again others say give to yourself first. So if I were to choose today, fuck everybody else (COME ON REALLY) I want what’s mine. The good news is I have some time to think about it at least. Then we’ll see what happens won’t we dear Madam Justice.

I’m not June; I’m getting out of Gilead. My life, Make It Worth Fighting For

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 276 ~Will Up’s His Game~

Too much helping myself but also too much self-help between, Spotify, Addiction beating apps, and books about the law of attraction, life is a game and keeping up the positivity I’m winning, I am, I AM. Will Up’s His Game more and more

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Episode 276 ~Will Up’s His Game~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a life coach, a motivational speaker. Hell, why don’t I go all out and do what that lady says and become a preacher? I’ll have a YouTube channel like Tyrese Gibson. There is plenty of help just waiting out there.

If anything I’m finding that positive vibes can be as exhausting as the negative. So that’s why I don’t do self-help too often. Only isn’t that what this is, and my first sin today. Well beyond repeating myself is looking to God. You’ve heard this story before; I hate how my “OLDS” look at religion. Now I “worked” in a Christian bookstore for a bit. I mean I was heavy into it. I signed paperwork; I named characters for God. I read all I could. Nowadays I can’t stand the concept. Still, that isn’t to say I don’t take to heart a lesson here or there. A few spoken from Tupac Shakur. Another and another from Father Gabriel, The Walking Dead, The Battle For Alexandria.

When I couldn’t find God’s love and don’t get me started on his people, I wondered why no one ever loved me. Once again I turned to books about how to find love, making someone fall in love with you. There’s loving yourself only to the point that others could. Of course, this led me back into my poetry phase. I sound like a broken recording here, but it worked; for other guys. Lawmen are getting laid right now because of my work. It was like that time I did LSD and wrote nonstop about the “Winx Club.” In retrospect, it was somebody with a love of money. Even now I’m listening to a few motivations about that same thing. It keeps me way high.

Now that’s something else that all my motivations seem to have in common. You must become addicted, obsessed with self-improvement, with growth. Women talk a lot about not being good enough. Men can feel the same. Just now I read “We’re not porn addicts, we’re porn addicts in recovery.” Yes, thank you Miss Jessica Nigri and her Hermione Granger Cosplay. So yeah when it comes to my next sin besides not lasting a day of No Fap. You should have seen me on the first; I’m back on Brainbuddy. Now on a subscription basis, Patreon as well. No porn but a naked redhead am I right? Still reading The Secret and then I have to start back with my erotica reading group. You have to throw what you want out into the universe. At the day job, it’s always a million dollars Inspector. At the store, it’s a pretty girl.

It’s so hard staying up Inspector Echo I swear. Some things I have accomplished. I did three thousand words last night, five thousand the day before. I’m ahead in Camp NaNoWriMo so far. I even stood up to my General Manager. As for forgiveness, I’m still seeking help without, instead of looking within myself. I know I’m stronger than this, or I should be. So yes Will Up’s His Game.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 269 ~Was Will Calm Before~

Calm or depression, I feel like I’m sinking and for some reason, I can’t remember how I kept my head above this muck, blood, sweat, and tears, or so THEY say; I hate the water, and that’s what keeps me kicking, did I sail once. “Was Will Calm Before”

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Episode 269 ~Was Will Calm Before~

Forgive Me Echo,

How To Make One Million Dollars, I could start by cutting off Spotify, Patreon, Amazon Prime. However, strangely enough, I didn’t get into those things at the behest of anybody. Okay, so lovely boobs but let me continue. It was only last week I said I get into these things because of women. Now don’t get me started on obsession but when I get into something, writing still isn’t direct among them. I go full throttle, Nonstop.

When I was back in school, I fell into the Pokémon craze, who was I before? Now, who does my family prefer? The boy they made feel so worthless that he wasted hundreds on webcams? The one that’s so full of hate that he doesn’t speak to them. The one that spent more on Pokémon games, Gameboy, toys, more. Humiliations galore, having to walk back into that mall and return all that stuff. Now that was nothing compared to the Harmonic War, The Fall, The End Of The Rainbow, and dare I forget SWEETNESS. Girls are fucking Medusa (LANGUAGE). How about when I got into Alycia Debnam-Carey. In one of them, she was standing next to Alexa Nisenson. Then Almighty Pinterest sent some ominous warning. Days later I hear from my mom the police are in the area. I worry about everything there’s no doubt.

Fear, Worry, Guilt, but today is about obsession. Now I don’t even want to think about the Day Job. All the humiliations I have possibly endured inside my mind. Because today is Monday and I have to attempt to get out of a shift. Dammit (LANGUAGE) I don’t want to obsess about the Day Job. Only The Walking Dead 9×15 The Calm Before; you know how I’m addicted to The Lore of the Dead. Sunday I was researching any known gods of Flesh and The Carnival of Flesh from The Purge. Anyway and I’m not ashamed to admit this and why should I be. I ranted, raved, and raged, and shed a few tears for all those characters that died last night. Hell, I should become a reactor yeah, though it’s far too late or I’m pretty lazy, I know?

I take that show as gospel. It takes so much to disturb me, well media-wise. Undead heads on pikes have made my list. I even woke up “Indiana Gone” as I grieved. She knows of my obsession with the dead. Only like any drug, this was a bad trip. Inspector Echo, I apologize that I become obsessed with anything that I know doesn’t make me a loser. I ask forgiveness from five women; so far. It scares me Pinterest can think I’m depraved. I’m sorry for laziness and having my nightmares, Was Will Calm Before?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 143 ~Before My Willing Embarrassment~

As the song goes, I’m gonna wait ’til the midnight hour, although it’s way past that; at least I don’t have work, and this is probably the only time I wish I did despite not wanting to get fired, humiliation though? “Before My Willing Embarrassment”

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Episode 143 ~Before My Willing Embarrassment~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a comedian, but the humor in me died several years ago unless I’m wearing my mask, and that’s tonight’s first sin, knowing what I’m going to have to do Friday. I would say I will spend the whole day hiding, sin number two but that is going to be impossible which leads me to sin number three, wanting a miracle.

Can’t say I’ve wanted much else tonight, which is sin number four, not being able to say what I want, at least not all of it, no that can never happen, but that would lead to more than being a little embarrassed. Every damn day Inspector Echo when I know I’m going out into this world, it’s never with hope, the need to be helpful, or even being horny, it’s with the ancient knowledge to gird my loins for everything that is about to come. I don’t need a few nightmares to warn me of this, even “B III” saw, I don’t know if he thought his daddy was an idiot, a crazy person, or damn near dangerous, maybe he was embarrassed for me possibly.

Being a black man in America, of course I know the stories about what my “people” did to make this country great for themselves and everyone else as a whole and they got beaten, tortured, and killed for years. I suffer from Social Anxiety, Bipolar Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Only so many others every single day fight their battles, they maintain, their lives are full of everything good. How about the fact that I read and write erotica, I’m an atheist, a dominant, a sadist, I hate Trump, I think we need gun control but I like assault weapons, I could go on with all of my “stupid” ideas honestly.

My point is that one of my biggest fears is that I’ll be humiliated for one reason or another by complete surprise but at the end of the day I’m walking right into it, and that’s my fifth sin. To feel that this is not a life worth living so how the FUCK should I know any thankfulness. May you forgive me for my mask, for wanting to run and hide instead of kicking butt, for waiting on the impossible, for not having what I want so ignoring what I need and for hating life at the start of another day, even In The Midnight Hour, so Happy Thanksgiving and cheers Before My Willing Embarrassment.

I Will Have No Fear