Gospel 192 ~Will Seconds That Emotion~

My firstborn is good, or at least the vet didn’t say anything and handed me more of his meds. My second Saturday of the new year starts off like the others, nuclear pop and me being lazy. Will Seconds That Emotion, but I’m usually DEAD last

Saturday, January 9, 2021

Gospel 192 ~Will Seconds That Emotion~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I bet that still wouldn’t be enough. No, I wouldn’t convince Spotify about how much I like or, let’s say, am annoyed at Old School Soul. Considering I looked up Smokey Robinson right now, I’m not helping my case. As if I would do anything to help myself? Didn’t I say when it comes to caring about me, “I rather stay home in bed?” The Day Job, the Dæmon, or the “daddy” (take that however you like). I’m always wide awake and raring to go. I always come second, Lu.

Now “a second” isn’t always a bad thing. Only people think I’m STUPID, SLOW, or I SUCK because I need a few dozen. That is when it comes to me. Hell, I want to go all Rod Stewart and scream, “Do Ya Think I’m (you know). I’m a discombobulated Elliot Moore. My second, of course, isn’t a wifey like Alma Moore. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve now turned to 2008’s “The Happening.” Anyway, my second is my Dæmon. As he lies here nestled against my legs, I wonder how he puts up with me at all. SIGH, senior years. Seconds tick by, and what am I doing with them besides sitting here. Again I was up so early yesterday to make sure the Imp got to the vet. Doesn’t matter how long I sleep. It’s as if I never rest. I rather become Tony Stark than Elliot Moore. Um yeah, he had Pepper Potts.

Trump’s seconds haven’t been “decent” people until recently. Pence, I mean damn, and I’m trying so hard only to say her name… Stormy Daniels. In their own times, they might have staved off the apocalypse. How did I become the leader of a billion fans/men? In my continuing efforts to not put black women second. Or not listen to another rich white guy. I can say I feel a bit like Iris Bennet. Ok, maybe I have a type, and yes, you should invest in Pop Culture quips. Again um, I put everyone first, and I ain’t even second here. I’m last when it comes to the artist’s work I want to buy this morning, for what purpose hmm. Last, as I see the stores empty out. Why is that?

Wish I could say I was Dauntless or Abnegation. I’m Factionless. Will Seconds That Emotion

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~

Saturday, January 2, 2021

Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This is me, the man I want to be. Sorry for talking to you so late… 6:55 PM. Where does the time go? Indeed, where does “The Will” go. To be honest, it started this morning. I contemplated looking good for my TWD Guild or sleep. People always have a way of making you more… Accountable? As much as I brag about my Republican tendencies, turning my back on all humankind is not my strong suit. Neither is leaving my Dæmon hurting, but we’ll get to that this evening, I hope.

Next to him is my work, my writing, my will be done. So how about this new year. Yep, it’s time to make some New Year’s Resolutions. I did think about waiting till tomorrow, talking to the man in the mirror as it were. Yet, at this rate, who knows where I’ll be. Better, let’s see if anything has changed.

  1. I AM Seeing My Dæmon Through Another Year
    Completed (2020)
  2. I AM Writing A New York Times Bestseller
    Failed
  3. I AM Making One Million Dollars
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing 400 Words Everyday (Goal 120,000)
    Completed (2020)
  5. I AM Visiting The Moonlite Bunny Ranch
    Failed
  6. I AM Beginning To Make Investments
    Failed
  7. I AM Producing An Adult Film For Sale
    Failed
  8. I AM Participating In NaNoWriMo
    Completed (2020)
  9. I AM In A Relationship or Sleeping With A Girl At Least Once A Month
    Failed
  10. I AM Becoming Free Of Parental Oversight (Rockford, Grandma, The Car, etc.)
    Partial Completion
  11. I AM Speaking Positivity Into My Life
    Failed
  12. I AM Starting Work On Life Goals “Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~.”
    Failed
  13. I AM Fearless Now
    Failed

Yes, Lady Lu, this list still applies, and as you can see, I only completed 1,4 and 8. At this particular moment, it’s #1 that worries me. Tomorrow I’m going to have to get the Imp checked-out. I don’t know what’s wrong but sometimes being here ain’t enough. I told myself again I wouldn’t be writing to you so late. It’s like how the holy-rollers say the spirit is willing, but the flesh SIGH. Last year, huh, a “Sucker For Pain.” A lady at the Day Job told me I looked skinnier. I’m here, “now fight” Sucker Punch, yeah. Here I Am, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 130 ~Willing To Savor Victory~

Did my vote matter? With the state not really, in the grand scheme of things, one popular vote for Biden so no. The thing is, he’s the next president. I keep writing. It will be a long shot to win NaNoWriMo, but I have. Willing To Savor Victory.

Sunday, November 8, 2020

Gospel 130 ~Willing To Savor Victory~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. When you get your billion, will you still be saying “just another day” SIGH? Now I’m sure I’ve put HAPPY on the most hated words list. As the song goes, “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad,” and you’re still relishing that emotion. Tomorrow to you is like the ending of “Artistic Anarchy.” The haunting melody of Exit Music (For a Film) by Radiohead. Along with the knowledge that you pissed off John Wick. Oh, shall we get into talking about dogs, more specifically, your son The Dæmon?

He’s still upstairs, and this stubbornness might end up with a trip to the vet. Now shush, can’t be putting that sort of stuff out into the universe. Still, you can’t fight time, and you’re both old men, you and him. Worrying profits a man nothing, you know. And yet? Fantastic that a comic strip can get you to smile. That particular one, “And Yet,” comes from Strange Planet and the money he is making. But you’re “writing,” and you have the knowledge that your book won’t earn anything, And Yet? You could win, hmm. NaNoWriMo might net you a fortune, and you know you could use it. A broken-down car is sitting right outside. Last night the toilet finally gave up. Well, we could talk about lots of food too. Um, I never got an “Existence Day” Feast Ha! Yeah, and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Working On NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  5. I AM VOTING
    Completed Biden and Harris Have WON!!!
  6. I AM Finishing Stroke of Midnight by K. Webster
    Completed

I carved through half the list somehow, but again I see no victory. Sad to say, what do you see coming around in your future? Hell, I should have been more specific when it comes to goals. As THEY say, the devil is in the details. It’s why I’m taking so long today to talk.

Oh, is that what I’m doing looking over the list. As far as #4 goes, I’m way behind with NaNoWriMo. With #5, all I am is a statistic with the popular vote because my state fell to Trump. Only Biden is President now, so silver lining. K Webster’s novel, haunting. Here’s a question you should be asking maybe. What does it take to win? You know it’s one element of November I’m still upset about, and it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours for you, my friend. But Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Catching Up With My NaNoWriMo Novel “Sinning The Cherry On Top”
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus 4 (Gnome Place Like Home) A.J. Markham

All I ask, be good to the Imp, win NaNoWriMo, Be Willing To Savor Victory.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 047 ~Temptation Exist In All Creations~

I wouldn’t do much for a Klondike bar, but I think the same company makes that strawberry cheesecake bar too, and I have raised holy hell for those. The only thing tempting me now is my bed. “Temptation Exist In All Creations” no doubt

Monday, August 17, 2020

Gospel 047 ~Temptation Exist In All Creations~

Hundred And Fiftieth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m lucky I got the money. What would I spend it all on? Do you really need to ask? Three words AHEM, Breasts, Yabbos, Titties, pardon my language, Madam Justice. Hell, My Dæmon is my son, and he’s exactly like his old man. You could ask Indiana Gone about that. Now, of course, he wants a lot of different things and is willing to commit any variety of sins. He loves to eat pretty much anything.

Every morning he’ll fight me for his walk. The boy will lie for a treat. So what tempts me other than a world of Yabbos?

Sad to say, but everything in this “wonderful” world leads right back to that goal. The sooner we finish this talk, the sooner I can look at Yabbos. Yeah, right, like Instagram wasn’t already showing me hot cheerleaders to look up. Guilty as charged. Now all of my creations only want to live, but that means I need to be horny. Sorry to say but this afternoon I’m only annoyed. You do know what would help with that, only I have to stay awake. That’s my point, though. Everything wants to live. What is the ultimate expression of that I ask? You give life to others, and of course, there are many different ways one can go about that endeavor.

For the most part, humanity only values life as it relates to death. The closer we get to the end, the more we cling to life. I could argue against that, though, given the current state of the world, I suppose. I don’t want to get political though. 170,000 dead, and the life I cherish the most isn’t human. Again I bring up my firstborn. I say he wants everything, but at any particular moment, he wants me. No girl could ever take his place. Still, I wish some girl found me tempting, I don’t think about love most days. Ask me what tempted me in these past twenty-four hours. Pigtails, food, my bed? Maybe it’s not the temptation itself but the motive behind it. I remember something from the Isaku series that I dare not repeat, but I understand.

Hell, the things we will do for such desires and how we fight to resist, rebel, and renounce sin. They can also be blessings, but I know what I want. Temptation Exists In All Creations.

“The world, chico, and everything in it.” – Tony Montana

“This is a rebellion; I rebel.” – Jyn Erso “Rogue One”

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 040 ~Sometimes The Words Are WTF~

I’ve never been one for swearing, but I promise you not a day goes by that I don’t mutter WTF at the smallest to the hugest things like a few minutes ago. “Sometimes The Words Are WTF,” and sometimes it’s best not to say anything at all now

Monday, August 10, 2020

Gospel 040 ~Sometimes The Words Are WTF~

Hundred And Forty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that in and of itself is the concept of WTF. Hell, if you told me when I was a child, I would be right here, SIGH. I don’t want to be a downer Madam Justice but if I only knew… Well, WTF, I’m trying to explain.

As the song goes, “I Feel STUPID.” Take the everyday mundane, like the General Manager running the truck crew. She didn’t remember how to anymore, and there I stood knowing everything. What about the time I wanted to take control of the speaker and play music? Speaking of play, MILF Tres, aka Special K. Every morning I tell her hello, every night I send her a poem from GULP. Now the girl has every reason to ignore me. I checked in on MILF Dos, once or twice, and she blocked me. Should I continue saying, Hi? There’s also the fact that I’m up. Am I talking to you, instead of crawling back into my bed? Is it the fact that I got very close to getting six hours last night? You could call it my envy that I saw Katie o’ Shaughnessy from Youtube getting free stuff from Skybound, WTF.

Yeah, and just like that Madam Justice, I’m turned on. Not only by her but Indiana Evans (Blue Lagoon: The Awakening). Let’s also throw in Sofia Kasuli (Teen Starlet) thank you. Now when I get to “make love” to beautiful women like them, then WTF is this real life? When/If I ever publish one of my many books and start to make some real money? What would it be like to never be scared of walking into the Day Job again because I can leave? Who would I be if I could pay my parents off and say after, “I don’t ever want to see you again?” Of course, I have to turn it right back around to women again. Can I ever say WTF, I’m in love? Yet what would get me, is some girl telling me that she’s in love with the man I see in the mirror every day. Can’t say I know the feeling at all.

A few minutes ago, I told myself I would be reading now. I can commit to the Day Job but to keep a promise to myself or My Dæmon SIGH. Sometimes The Words Are WTF.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 224 ~Dogs Have Such Big Hearts~

I’ve had dogs before, my grandmother’s. His name was Wishbone; he was shot. Grandma lives ghetto adjacent. I had a chow puppy; one of my grandfather’s dogs killed him. “My Dæmon,” once belonged to my sister. He’s nearly 15. Dogs Have Such Big Hearts.

Monday, February 10, 2020

Log 224 ~Dogs Have Such Big Hearts~

Hundred And Twenty-Third Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so My Dæmon’s backyard is enormous. As you know, I’m a time-traveler (Friday, February 7). For the record, I still stick by the first rule of going through time, DON’T.

Anyway, if I were to imagine the future, I see him, he’s grown a beard, or all his little tan hairs are gray. He lies between two or three children, a boy and a girl Luke and Leia, or three daughters, Katniss, Tris, and Ember. Yes, I know there are other combinations. I didn’t even get to name My Dæmon, though we called him Neo for three days, my mother changed it.

I always thought the deepest love was between two partners sharing their lives. The truth is, though, I would kick any woman out on her behind for my firstborn. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t hear the word LOVE. I say it nearly every day, and any time I leave the house. You know how my #2 Impossible Thing is always to be a better father. One of the reasons I’m not is because it’s my boy who shows love 24/7 365. Even now, where is he, you ask? He’s lying against my leg, taking a break from his guard duties. Now I can’t blame him. Madam Justice, he’s the strongest man I know. I’m ashamed to admit this and I should save it for Inspector Echo, but I hit him yesterday. Not on purpose, never, but you know my rants about “Coal” at the Day Job, right? So yesterday I was watching all these bully fights. There was this big one with Bruce Lee fighting all these guys on a rooftop, beautiful brutality.

Well, I’m up, and I’m swinging, and My Dæmon gets excited and WHAM, he gets smacked in the nose. One more thing my son teaches me, and that’s FORGIVENESS. I swear he’s hated me more for vet visits and that never lasts more than a day. Isn’t it ironic that he has heart troubles and my love for him, wow? I buy his medication, his food, everything he needs. I’m sitting here going crazy with the humming. Scared, I did something to my ear this afternoon. I’m exhausted, and all this seven-pound ball of fluff wants to do is help and comfort his own Dad. GRATITUDE, he’s my sweetest blessing.

Dogs Have Such Big Hearts.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 124 ~The Intercision Of Will~

When you get two notices from Norton in two weeks, you don’t want to trust anybody, and what about other decisions, it’s like I’m being ripped apart, cut to ribbons, and my little Dæmon is exhausted with my lack of choices. The “Intercision” Of Will.

Saturday, November 2, 2019

Log 124 ~The Intercision Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I don’t want to lie to you. I want to be honest as not to add negative vibes to the universe. Well, that was fun while it lasted. I only had to reread the title once more. Yes, My Lady, the negativity starts early, which explains why I’m so late this morning in our conversation. Today’s problem stems from my indecision, but didn’t I write “Intercision?” Not a fan of the series “His Dark Materials,” well neither am I, the show I mean until December. It starts on November 4th.

Do you know that song “1st of Tha Month,” it’s when I like to pay my bills, then or the end. So I said I was going to sign up for HBO so I could start watching His Dark Materials and maybe Game Of Thrones. Again I’m late, and I’m also a coward or a Scrooge. Take your pick. Next, we have No Nut November, that I’ve lost twice thanks to my habit of Alliteration. Yes Lady Lu I’m blaming English, and also well I better make a LONG list:

  1. Kagney Linn Karter in Delinquents (2010)
  2. Misha Cross in A Whirlwind Of Wickedness! (Jimslip)
  3. Cherry
  4. Sansa Stark, Arya Stark from GOT

Well, not that long, but the Stark sisters remind me of my NaNoWriMo novel, presently untitled. I’m even bringing back Prometheus from “Apocalypse Rush” and of course, the protagonist. Damn (LANGUAGE) might as well be Taki Minase from Bible Black. Arya or rather Maisie Williams will be the love interest. Finally, I need to create a cult that worships the idea of the fear of time, does that make sense.

No, I didn’t think so, but somehow I can come up with a fake world quicker than deciding on my life. I wanted to upgrade one of my drives, but that’s because I want more porn to fit. Why bother to attempt to finish out the month. Here we go again with my problem making any one decision. My little Dæmon is lying here as exhausted as his human. Let’s see how long I keep calling my Firstborn that, see if it takes. If anything, I feel separated from myself, and since I did 4,600 words yesterday I could afford rest. Now the answer is no, though, but you know with The Intercision Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear