Gospel 038 ~A Touch Of Will~

Promises of soft hands. The feel of fresh sheets and the little fuzzball that’s running around here when my kid isn’t plopped down in my lap. SIGH, if only I would publish my book, I’d have all the space in the world. “A Touch Of Will”

Saturday, August 8, 2020

Gospel 038 ~A Touch Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so you would think I have a touch of class. It’s been my experience that I find a touch of cash a lot more palatable. I’m sure I’ve told this story quite a few times. When I was a child, I’d dole out hugs for money.

So what, unconditional love isn’t enough? Now when it comes to my childhood, I wasn’t too keen on “puppies,” either. Not talking about Yabbos, hell, I’ve loved them since I first saw a “Jet” magazine. I mean actual dogs. I came back from school once and found my grandparents had gotten a dog. I suppose most children would be ecstatic. In my experience, I went running scared and jumped on the bed, where he couldn’t reach. Okay, so why am I waning all nostalgic? I Love My Dæmon Like Pancakes always and forever, but oh, give me patience. He’s an old man that only wants to be close to me, but sometimes it’s like I can’t breathe. The last thing I wish in this life is to be alone. Even now, I feel smothered today.

Is it any wonder that I’m enjoying living in this, our plague era? Why even now I wait for the zombie hordes to descend. How about taking my chances when it comes to The Purge? What about the fact that I’m into BDSM? Yes, I know Lady Lu that I broke again last night. It was a mix between MILF Tres, Momokun, Cherry, and St. Louis Luxurious Wheels. One of these girls is not like the other, am I right? My point is this. I can’t stand for something, someone so beautiful to touch me physically or emotionally, I know.

People say I wear my heart on my sleeve. My grandma would say I have so much pride. Someone even told me I have an ego. How can one person feel so insignificant? Yet in the same breath, see themselves as the center of the universe? It’s like my light is the size of a mustard seed. My face is that of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I cover that with the most monstrous things I can imagine. The concept is they all hurt in one way or another, and my body can’t take it.

Yes, I’m touchy but money, mammaries, and my mattress? If but A Touch Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 311 ~Star Wars Again, Willy~

I should have made it Star Wars week now that I think about it, but still, I like more girls in the Star Wars Universe, well in the entire universe than there are days in the week. Anyway, let me bring three Star Wars Again, Willy

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Log 311 ~Star Wars Again, Willy~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, dare I say approaching a trillionaire if I owned Disney? When I was young and went to Disney World for the first time, I said I was happy. Isn’t that what you are supposed to say there, hell what did I know. Let’s ask what sparks joy in my life. Shirtless starlets, swords indeed lightsabers, and Star Wars. Two out of three ain’t bad, but here we are today. To think of it, Diana, I should have made it Star Wars week. Anyway, so my top three Star Wars Sluts.

Now you know me, Dirty Diana, so this should be easy to guess. Of all the stars amongst the galaxies far, far away, these three… (Homer Drool). We begin with the original. Leia Amidala Skywalker, aka Princess Leia. Leia Organa, General Organa, Leia Skywalker Organa Solo. Again I can never be one to simply fuck some girl without knowing her. As the song goes, I’m not good at a one-night stand. Anything else about her… played by Carrie Frances Fisher. Her Hoth outfit is my second favorite, but always Slave Leia. If I were to design slave outfits ever damn.

While I’m all about innocence and purity, hell this week, I was watching something on The Handmaid’s Tale. A bit on Madonna-whore complex. You ever heard you can’t turn a whore into a housewife? Before I get too much into my head ahem Padmé Amidala, aka Padmé Amidala Naberrie, Queen Amidala. Dirty Diana, I’m not looking to be saved, but I already mentioned Homer, right? He asked Marge once, “I need you to do this with me.” I’m Anakin, and I need my Padme. Plus, choking is a “Soft limit” of mine. The things I would do to Natalie Portman.

At last, we come to Rey Skywalker, played by Daisy Jazz Isobel Ridley. We have firmly established that I have a thing for hot brunettes with sweet tits ha. Should I also mention I don’t care much for sand? There is a song, though, that says, “Make love on a beach of jet black sand.” I still dream of having my family on the beach, but today isn’t for that. I’m thinking of Leia doing Jabba or sharing Han. Padme being punished or rutting inside ravishing Rey over and over. Should have shared but no, dreaming Star Wars Again, Willy.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 304 ~Well HELLo There Will~

How does one avoid Hell and not live a miserable existence? Well, if I look at my life, I seem to be headed in both directions, as “Hot, Hard, and Horny” as I am. I’m not sick, well not that kind anyway. Well HELLo There Will

Thursday, April 30, 2020

Log 304 ~Well HELLo There Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, by being, HOT, HARD, and HORNY as HELL. Well, I have read much about the way to Heaven, the straight and narrow path. As the song goes, the Stairway to Heaven. On the other side, the road to Hell is open and broad. The Highway to Hell if you will. If we’re talking about something being big to quote yet one more song, my Enormous Penis. What, Dirty Diana, I told you I was missing the music these days. Music was the escape, and Love is the promised land, but LUST is so welcoming now.

I should shut my mouth okay with these ideas, but I want to close a woman’s instead. If I could speak no evil, then chances are I would never talk at all. Sex allows me to be quite vocal, but even that is a competition with a woman. One more reason to like blowjobs, I guess. Is that an evil thought? Since I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m the “darkest” person I know, how best to silence myself. A woman’s screams, of course. Hell Dirty Diana, it’s like I became “Cade in The Eve of a Cherry,” he needs “HER” pain to hide in. I only now saw that, which leads me to “see no evil.” Dirty Diana, that is what I’m having the most trouble with now. Am I calling pretty, pretty girls evil? It’s my one-eyed monster that is seeing too much.

Should I say no, considering I’m usually busy in the shower? Again with the music, I Want To Hold Your Hand. I’m trying to keep mine busy though, that’s why I like handjobs too. A writer’s fantasy and would make me a better one if I could keep both hands on the keyboard. Would my heart be in it, though? What heart you’re asking yourself and above all else you know I LOVE boobs. Yes, I still somewhat regret using that word. But I was talking to Inspector Echo yesterday about so many tits. It makes me sound like an ass, doesn’t it? Being a black man and yet I was always more boobs than ass though if you read my novel, half and half. Am I not going to talk about the ahem pussy?

For now, you know I know the path right to Hell; Well, HELLo There Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 297 ~Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies~

My entire life is a parody of the life I should be living. Like Sheldon Cooper, I do believe in many universes, and I do enjoy the Big Bang Theory XXX reality. Still, I’m pretty “sick” no not with COVID-19. “Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies” or not

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Log 297 ~Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but if I’m going to Hell, it won’t because of GREED. Yes, I’m greedy as all Hell, but I always saw myself as Circle Two material, LUST. That’s where my sickness resides. Now you probably thought this would be all about Coronavirus (COVID-19), of course.

Better to stick with the sickness, I do have Dirty Diana. For example, and I know this isn’t right, but the horror stories women tell and a few men. Now when I talk about men, I do mean S. Wolf and Todd Michael, authors. You know I like far too many female erotic authors. This week I’ve been looking over Pornographic Parodies. Don’t get me wrong here, “Big Bang Theory: A XXX Parody” has its moments, ah Beverly Hills. My point is, though, it’s the REAL stories that turn me on. I’ve told you about Court Carmody. Only what about Eileen Kelly, Angie Varona, Miriam Weeks, aka Belle Knox, or Stormy Daniels. Some others I’m not STUPID enough to mention. I saw this post about a pornstar sometime back who had been hurt. What is wrong with my head, right?

There was a time Dirty Diana I was all about love, and now it’s more tits. It took me a while to talk to you because I was busy trying not to FAP watching Siri’s tits. The pornstar, not the computer voice, hah. Well, it was more listening to her moan and imagining a big pair of mounds in a pink bra. See it’s not only my mind but my body, I wanted to break so bad from last night to this morning, so how did I fight back? Here and now, Dirty Diana, which leads me to my writing.

I’m still not buying The Eve of a Cherry is publishable, pretty damn good, and isn’t more porn than erotic. At this rate, I want to add even more to the story, yeah pleasing penis portions. So today’s Log is brought to you by the letter P, I guess. Anyway, I’m exhausted, and that’s because this sickness is keeping me up, literally. Again I’m not talking about the Coronavirus. What did I say about checking WebMD? My eye is all screwy, and my chest was hurting some still I write.

Yeah, fictional sex scenes and now Cart Girls not beating out Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 252 ~Heart Hurts More Than Body~

My Ma would tell me to go easy with all the seasoning salt. I’ve got quite a long history with women, plus I have my furry kid, I haven’t had a heart attack yet, but I know all about broken hearts. Heart Hurts More Than Body.

Monday, March 9, 2020

Log 252 ~Heart Hurts More Than Body~

Hundred And Twenty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, if only because I refuse to see a doctor. Not because I’m afraid. Indeed in this time of plague with the Coronavirus (COVID-19), I’m excited. Now I know that doesn’t sound right, and it shouldn’t, not until there are zombies. Okay, I’ll stop, I know I’m not funny. I’ve never laughed so much until it hurts. Madam Justice, I’m not one for self-harm. Fists at drywall, STUPID things while people watch. Giving into FAPPING (it’s Saturday). Anyway, my body takes a lot, but what about my heart?

Most recently, what I said about Cherry and I don’t mean my novella. I speak my heart to you and the others Madam Justice. No secrets, but you and I both know that’s a lie. If I told you everything, then we would see the end, and that’s how you know I’m not suicidal. Still, it happens the same way; I try to talk to one girl, I speak innocence to another, I don’t tell one more and wham. I’m having a “Harriet the Spy” moment because it’s like they weren’t supposed to see that. I put my heart out here so the body can keep going. The thing is nobody wants my heart. I think that’s why I’ve been down as of late. If I don’t write out how I am, the body keeps it in, and I “mess” up, horny, hatred, heartfelt, whatever.

Women though SIGH, let’s talk about something else that hurts my heart, My Dæmon. My little boy is getting older; he’s bumping into walls, avoiding his walks on cold days, sleeping more. Then again, I’m in bed, and he only wants to be near his Dad. I’m still not working on my stories, and I miss them—what a waste of the day. Somebody took my shift at the Day Job and how did I spend it, Madam Justice, lying here looking at the usual. Even my FEAR of my father doesn’t have me doing anything. Okay, so hurting my friends or them getting hurt, Indiana Gone told me she got punched in the face. My little boy and my writing, what more do I love in this world. The man in the mirror that is such a waste that it hurts to witness myself.

Only the body doesn’t quit, fingers, eyes, ears, dang humming, Heart Hurts More Than Body.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 215 ~The Will Is Silence~

Every little bit of silence, I feel hope, funny I didn’t mention how my phone has scared me with every single sound and was that only last week, and now I need more noises to terrify me 24/7? The Will Is Silence, I hope.

Saturday, February 01, 2020

Log 215 ~The Will Is Silence~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I know why people pay so much for silence. It’s always my fault, you know, everything. Now Lady Lu, that’s some noise. The voice inside my head. And not the hum that’s coming through loud and clear now that I’ve cut the fan off. You know how often I talk about gratitude, the one point all my motivations agree on; it never fails. I should have been grateful for the ants last year because even that beats the constant humming. Had I kept my work ethic to see Alice Little, I would have more than enough money to not worry about the problem I’m facing.

A horse, how about my kingdom for a ladder? While I’m speaking on standing tall, I should work on growing a spine. Well, I did get a haircut, but I hesitated at the post office. I wouldn’t honk at the person at the drive-thru, and instead, I was going around. My biggest sin of all? I didn’t call back the electrician on this humming, and why? I’m afraid Lady Lu, of being in the way. The sun keeps rising, the world keeps spinning, and I don’t want to bother anyone. Today I bought a stethoscope trying to hear through the walls. Tomorrow I might buy a ladder so I can get to the roof myself. I’m not suicidal, but I would indeed kill myself before asking for help. Even dying, somebody would have to go around me, and so like I said yesterday, I’m Alive.

How about my poor dæmon, he must be going crazy with the noise, but he stays cuddling me wanting to help. He’s getting too old for all the foolishness though he still barks from time to time. My ear still hurts, and I ran over my big toe with the garbage can trying to make it to the roof. I could have fried myself with all of those switches trying to kill the noise. My greatest wish is for silence, especially now, one more day where I’m not reading. I’m still looking towards my future, so will the next two days come around, and I will be laughing about this problem? What about next Saturday, if I’m not crazy by then or my kid goes all Children of the Corn.

Somehow, One Day, only a second The Will Is Silence.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 067 ~Will Hires A Musing~

So this is it and I don’t know exactly how I feel or how to express it apparently… do I need a doctor or a mortician, should I be directing a horror film or living it and tomorrow will come regardless. Will Hires A Musing, or a “Terminator”

Friday, September 6, 2019

Log 067 ~Will Hires A Musing~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, or I better become one Monday. September 1st was the goal, and with everything yesterday well? Positive vibes Lady Sophia, the law of attraction. As I named my motivational playlist “Tell Me Something Good” for once.

Have you ever played that game Fuck, Marry, Kill? When it comes to my working hours, I will marry my writing. Of course Fuck the adult entertainment industry and kill my Day Job. That’s something I shouldn’t say, again considering yesterday. I’ve said it often enough, the best thing in the world is to be loved. If not that liked, barring that respected. Not right, okay invisible, and after exhausting the idea, feared. I was invisible but why? Rule #002 states: You Are Not A Caveman. Still, where would we be without them Lady Sophia? A grunt here, a picture there, a word? I fuck (LANGUAGE) pixels all the time (FAP), or I used to you know. Again I would marry my words. More than anything I wish I didn’t have to make a sound. Suicidal on the eve of “The Day?” It wouldn’t be the first time Lady Sophia.

Let’s play another game. Would You Rather never be born at all or live my life? How about this, would I rather go back to high school and have bad grades on The Day? Or would I rather keep this moment and worry about going back to Hell? I’m damned either way as always. Can’t say that I’m surprised how this week has turned out. More law of attraction but I wasn’t thinking about The Day at all. I expected nothing and the world manifested shit (LANGUAGE). I’m sure that’s what my mom thinks of her oldest son. Would You Rather have your son or your daughter? Easy when it comes to my Olds. Ask the Day Job, would you rather have an eight-year employee who wants to work or anybody else, I’m fucked (LANGUAGE).

I’m more a Battle Royale, The Hunger Games, The V Games type of guy. Schoolgirls vs. Professional Models. Brothels, strip clubs, movie studios, filled to the brim. Notice I didn’t have any temptations today; I didn’t get much sleep last night. Yeah even when I’m not at the Day Job or with my Olds these days SIGH. Terminator, Hooker, Devil, to help with my life’s story Will Hires A Musing.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 060 ~Will’s Bookshelves And Coffins~

Another day living life, not the life, I didn’t even read yesterday, and I woke up at 4 AM with all the lights blazing in the house; my firstborn was quite confused, but he knew daddy was sleepy the end. “Will’s Bookshelves And Coffins” a short story

Friday, August 30, 2019

Log 060 ~Will’s Bookshelves And Coffins~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now and full of more business ideas. It’s better than having any temptations today though I had a fantasy about MILF Dos. There was also my Lawler moment of “The Puppies, The Puppies.” Relax, “Cherry” had dogs but still, not a day goes by without boobs. As valuable as all the trees that are burning in the Amazon. I should probably get political but oxygen and suffocating boobage by the right girl; flip a coin. Not like there are many of those around here, all my spending.

I wish I could say it was all on books and I don’t regret Raphael by Tillie Cole. Shock and ah or Nah. Hell I gave it five stars and need to write a review. A good idea, I should do that now, but there are so many stories. Do I want to tell you a sad tale; not yet. I could tell you a weird one or a gross one. Raphael had a thing for girls with long hair and watching them sleep in coffins. I also have a jonesing for nuns, well after watching the movie Virgin Territory, now that’s the life, Sophia.

Beats being afraid all the time. I read Rules Of Bennett by Ember Michaels. Now I haven’t been so shocked since Deliverance For Amelia by Bonny Capps. To have a genuine bad guy get the girl, the key concept being unwilling. Have I read far too many HEAs? Don’t get me wrong Amelia got rescued by a bad boy turned good. The same might happen for Aurora. Still, I read these things that happen to young women and feel like Tony Montana. I’m the bad guy and not to sound like R. Kelly, but I’m a bad man, that’s true.

My life is nothing to write about, but here we are Lady Sophia. I worry about liking a girl’s picture or sending a sweet photo, song, or video because I’m wrong. I write out fantasies to two girls at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Now one thinks I’m crazy, and the other considers me a loser. I’m gross because I support specific movie producers. There are gaming communities (adult entertainment). In real life, I read about this kid murdering some girl because he didn’t understand rejection. Where does any particular word lead us I ask? Of course Will’s Bookshelves and Coffins.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 053 ~Black And Blue Will~

For the record, I only go to Walmart because I despise Target, though Target has cuter women and speaking of which “Indiana Gone” is one of my dearest friends and a strong black woman like my mom and sister. “Black And Blue Will.”

Friday, August 23, 2019

Log 053 ~Black And Blue Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now but only seeing red. What happened to green, I’ll ask GoDaddy when it comes to my blog? The only company I want to talk about today is Walmart. You want me to comment on your business, do well, and you have a 75% chance. Piss me off (LANGUAGE), and you have a 99.9% probability. Hell, I’m tempted to send this to Walmart. If it only wasn’t for my other temptations this morning. Katelyn May Nacon, Alanna Masterson, Jennifer Lawrence (As Katniss). There’s “Of Inner Demons” too.

Anyway, you know that saying about how mighty the pen is right? Nobody talks about paper ever. I’m sorry I’m not going to talk about the Amazon rainforest burning. It’s even worse I’m about to sound like Trump and whine like a bitch (LANGUAGE). Can I be grateful that I don’t have a massive bruise on my forehead? It’s more my pride that ain’t much. Writing serves as an eraser, for my rage, my pain, all the embarrassment. Yeah, one big edit which explains why writing hurts. I’m still not a masochist though which explains why I usually torture other people writing. Again people neglect thoughts of paper, the eraser, or whiteout. You see Lady Sophia even now, sadist that I am, I’m avoiding talking about inflicting pain. I was supposed to talk about Walmart, black people, and hate, SIGH.

I guess I owe you that much, so long story short. Yesterday at Walmart, I got over my anxiety and reached for a pack of bottled water. So I promptly smash my head against the metal bar. After getting laughed at by two “employees,” I walk away. Five minutes later this black family is laughing at me, so I glare at them as I walk past them. One of them says he’s so ugly. Another says he’s scary. Lady Sophia, I’m an African-American man. Whenever I get to thinking, okay my people aren’t bad, I got yesterday. I hate Trump but my firstborn and I; he hates other dogs. I won’t say I hate anyone; okay, my “father,” “the basic bitch” (WILL, STOP IT). There are reasons I don’t associate with other black people. When did I last dare mention a black chick? Lessons learned, “don’t be brave, have a little common sense.” Black words on paper, far better than a Black And Blue Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 042 ~Live Like There’s No Tomorrow~

Am I going back to that, the world is going to end in “five minutes” mentality; if died today I would be embarrassed at everything, well other than reading another Tillie Cole novel but anyway. “Live Like There’s No Tomorrow”

Monday, August 12, 2019

Log 042 ~Live Like There’s No Tomorrow~

Ninety-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but I didn’t do two girls at the same time. Now that’s only for starters for if tomorrow never comes? Well, I’ve thought about that plenty of nights. Most nights I don’t ever plan on the morning. Okay, my knives and my car alarm say differently. Those are more for my son, though. My motivations say to start every morning with gratitude. I’m grateful Madam Justice I am. Still, I sometimes imagine waking up and starting all over again.

Do any of us wake up and live the day we would be proud to die? So I wake up this morning to the TWD Rewards people treating me like I’m STUPID. Until only now, I had forgotten about that concern. Besides talking to you, I could use a cappuccino and a slice of cheesecake. Worrying robs you of the joy you might have so I owe myself a slice. You know the days are wrong when you pray for a zombie apocalypse. Hell, I want the days I stand a chance in if anything. Again living those “five minutes” and the world comes to an end. I’ve lived far too many suicidal days. There was the day I had Taco Bell and fell asleep downing Nyquil pills attempting an overdose. I’ve starved myself for at least a week, and nobody gave a damn. I’ve studied poisons, weapons, I write dystopias ha. Ironic, I see tomorrow for everyone else but myself; I don’t live now.

If I could have today again, picture it as so. I wake up next to my beautiful wife. I go to my office, and we talk well more like Lady Sophia and me because it’s a Friday. My wife and I make love in the shower, and then she cooks breakfast. We both see the children off to school, while my firstborn does patrol of the Estate. I pop in on a few of my brothels see how business is going. I visit my studio and work on a movie. Then it’s off to interview the newest crop of models. I pick up my kids, and they tell me about good days at school. Home-cooked dinner, in a loving home. A book before bed then me and my wife ravish each other. Who would need another Saturday? Never enough time right Madam Justice but to Live Like There’s No Tomorrow.

I Will Have No Fear