Tag: Pain

Journey 292 ~Princes Of The B&V~

WillLeave a comment

Heavy is the head that wears the crown. But not the “Jimmy Hat” as far as B III and 2-V’s potential stepmom is concerned… Two-legged siblings for my boys? My head’s filled with delusions of grandeur, FEAR, and “Bloom”. Walmart? “Princes Of The B&V.”

Sunday, April 19, 2026

Journey 292 ~Princes Of The B&V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And where do you get off feeling so… “Royal,” in this world? This week is gonna suck.

Last week was too much work… Where do you get o…ff? And this week is way too little, dude. And all of this with M Anime heading back to work as well. A good woman. And here I am playing Troy Maxson from Fences to your… Do you know who you are? Or even who you hope to be. The questions that come to mind when you’re starting a family.

Uh, Braxton is still here… And Virgil isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon, B III willing.

But what do you have? Hell, what did I leave you? That’s the thing about today. I can be whoever I want to be in the past. And you have to figure out the future. Like failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The 30 Day Writing Challenge
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You’ve only been alive for eleven hours, and you’ve already failed #6. And with M Anime’s perfect lady parts, #4 is not going to last much longer. That and the Magic Glasses (AI). Freaking crazy, Pizza Girl, Little Lupe, Ellie, and Dina, etc. Effing wrong…

An honest bad boy. I was talking with M Anime last night—effing adult theaters.

However, she wants you to be a bad man, at least in terms of starting a family. But there’s also creating a business, making a few bucks, hell, learning how to breathe without all the FEAR, RAGE, and STUPIDITY. Not that it will stop you from making babies. Dad again.

You never stopped. From the day Braxton ate your waffles. Your pancake. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Place by Frafka Nim
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Like the idea that you’re “Just A Man.” You’ll “Be A Man” one day, you’ll say to yourself, I’m “The Man.” But today you’re not Odysseus, or Mulan ha-ha. And how much is Aloe Blacc worth these days? Again, I ask: what kind of man are you? Seriously, my friend.

There’s the question what kind of American are you? FDT! “Tomorrow When The War Began.” You can leave Civil War (2024), Kristen Dunst, and Cailee Spaeny out of this, ha.

It’s what the Magic Glasses are saying and showing you: your mind is always elsewhere.

Or should I say nowhere? You work for a company that might as well be the A&P. You are a king. Your queen loves you. Boys. Princes Of The B&V

1904 Days Without B III, Day 1345 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 291 ~B For Bisquick Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What did I wake up to this morning? A beautiful woman in my bed… On the phone. Close enough. And I’ve been buzzed the past few hours, naturally. Okay, one energy drink, a honey bun, and popcorn. What about some pancakes? “B For Bisquick Virgil”

Saturday, April 18, 2026

Journey 291 ~B For Bisquick Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means, I’ll be damned if I make my own pancakes. Brad Pitt in World War Z?

For the record, the movie is only good if you haven’t read the book World War Z. Am I still upset I missed Kindle Double Points? I wouldn’t say I’m “Feeling So Good Today.” Lu.

But if I’ve heard and read anything today, it’s what M Anime said, AHEM: “Your dick is a 12 out of 10.” I swear, Lunalesca, if all women knew how easily guys can be played.

Honestly, Lu, am I being played… Sunday, August 24, 2025? Am I trying to kill my buzz? It’s a force of habit. But the things my girl says, and my boys bark. “I’m So Thankful.”

Why? “That I hung on in there. Must have been the Will of God, I do declare.” Or Braxton, whatever.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“If you’re not my dog, my girl, or applying for the position. Don’t touch me.” You remember that? Braxton was practically the same. Me being his father, and the three women he let pet him. Virgil is a lot less picky but no less my son. Is this baby fever?

Lunalesca, I’ve just been up all morning thinking about, well, everything, but M Anime has babies on the brain, and how does she get them, my “Enormous Penis,” thank you, Da Vinci’s Notebook. Mickey Avalon says, “My Dick.” My “Big Ten Inch” Bull Moose Jackson croons. The Sweetest Thing if M Anime ever says you’re “Too Big To Fit In Here,” ha-ha. That’s been my morning. And I want to be a father. I am.

“When you were pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?”
The Walking Dead

“Can You Diglett”? Playing games. And Virgil presses up against me as I talk to you. I find it annoying, though, Virgil, not you. And that ain’t right at all. I’ve never poured the Bisquick to make two-legged children. But I told Braxton to get in the car. On Saturday, August 13, 2022, I signed the paperwork and walked out of PetSmart like I was Quintus Arrius and had just adopted Judah Ben-Hur. Here’s a question, my dear Lady Lunalesca.

Why can’t I do this for myself? Have a good morning! I still have money to buy some frozen pancakes. I have a beautiful woman saying naughty things. And Virgil is my son, and I still count Braxton. I’m dicking around. B For Bisquick Virgil

1903 Days Without B III, Day 1344 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 290 ~B Plus Reading Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Is the book I’m reading that bad? No. I read my own book too (eff me). But besides books, what am I reading? I read my last grocery list. I read the tags at the Day Job. I’ve read my bills. They all say I’m STUPID and in a RAGE. B Plus Reading Virgil

Friday, April 17, 2026

Journey 290 ~B Plus Reading Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… How? I missed Kindle Double Points again! And I actually have money. Or I did, Sophia.

Well, actually, I bought a case of energy drinks and some honey buns. Some of those ‘fancy’ root beers that come in the bottle. You know, like the one my Old Man slapped out of my hand when he kicked my behind because of my lies. What? I’m an introvert.

However, that’s a long HUMILATING story. I’m a southern “man,” so, of course, sweet tea.

And why am I rattling off my grocery lists? Because FDT, that’s why. Effing existence!

Sophia, of all the books I promised Braxton I’d read… A cookbook. How to be a better parent… uh, dog training, etc. You know what I need to read today? Anything on combating my RAGE?

RAGE! I swear I’m so hot I’ve been crying incessantly.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Please! not because of Braxton or Virgil? Or My animas as M Anime informed me.

Seriously, Sophia, M Anime is one herself to me, along with Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2, and that hot gymnast parading around in an LSU leotard. And seriously, these ‘sisters’…

We’ll get to my latest fetish in a minute. Sophia, today I’m battling three enemies.

Honestly, “Honey, we know the names.” Welcome To The Jungle of FEAR, STUPIDITY, and RAGE. I’m not worried about being an “American Idiot,” when I’m too busy being the village idiot at the Day Job. But today it wasn’t the pure STUPIDITY of the many, many moments. Today, it was the RAGE at everyone. And being so full of it, I still got a burger.

I have to slow down somehow since I’m not writing anything of value. Sophia, I don’t mean you, we’re talking. There’s also M Anime. With her, always “I Touch Myself.

Sophia, that’s TMI, right? But again, you want to know the “sisters’ I’m dreaming of?

  1. Cassie and Carly, Popcorn In Bed,
  2. Sophitia and Cassandra Alexandra
  3. Heather and Eva, Pledged To Him Series
  4. Ellie and Dina, TLOU

Yes, I know three and four aren’t sisters. And B knows there are other pairs I ain’t STUPID enough to name… Mia and Ava Rose? So RAGE has taken over line by line, dear Sophia.

Because short of reading Virgil’s mind, remembering B, or M turning me on. Reading, Living, sucks! B Plus Reading Virgil

1902 Days Without B III, Day 1343 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Did I want to spend an hour and a half being humiliated at the Day Job, or as B thinks of it, “The Bad Place”? How much do I make? “Enough money to get a little 40oz and a bucket of chicken on the way to the poor house.” “B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil”

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

1901 Days Without B III, Day 1342 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? I got off early, and I’m still late talking to you. Habit?

It was a week like this that got you killed. Yeah, I don’t have time for all the sugarcoating. The indifference. I would be a better writer if I did. That’s one AI’s perspective, Braxton.

Honestly, we shouldn’t go into my use of the “Magic Glasses” this week. My perspective.

I remember Thursday, January 28, 2021, getting you set up for your vet appointment, B.

On Friday, they told me you were dying. Saturday, the wait. Sunday, the Crossroads, B.

Bone Thugs N Harmony, duh. Ok, before that, the Wu-Tang Clan “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

You know I could use more of them. Endure and Survive. And I don’t mean looking up Ellie and Dina… Go to your room! You remember those days, B III.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But you’ll be glad to know 2-V is sound asleep in bed. Yet I’m sitting here in the Den. Y?

The biggest reason being… Humiliation. How many times have I apologized for my shame? Not at you for being sick, but at the abject failure I was. Finances, feelings, finite…

TIME! I wasted it all. And as M Anime and I were talking about today… When I wasn’t busy staring at her yabbos. I tell you, Braxton, you would have liked her. Hell, you do!

Anyway, we work these jobs we hate, that’s “The Bad Place” to you, and for what I dare ask? She’s got kitties to pay for, and I’ve got your little brother. The moment I get a good paycheck. Virgil’s needs…

I don’t mean that in a bad way. I could at least get your brother a bath. Dirty Zeke, right.

But you were my Elijah. And I swear the Day Job made me want to be Clarence… Uh, being crucified? I effing miss watching movies with you, dude. The Book of Clarence, Spontaneous, Hulu’s The Mill. That’s how the Day Job makes me feel. Like I want to scream out, “I effing quit!” And then I wake up and discover that it’s all a nightmare.

Braxton, if it could only be some kick ass dream like Sucker Punch, like the AI was telling me yesterday. If I could only come up with a way to make some real money. Because…

I’ll be broke soon enough. Shame. B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 288 ~Villagers B Trippin’, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

It takes a village… I’m sure my son, my fur buddy, B, was an “adult” by the time it was only us. As for my village… “Son, fear is the heart of love”. So I never went back. I’m looking for “Somewhere Only We Know.” “Villagers B Trippin’, Virgil.”

Wednesday, April 15, 2026

Journey 288 ~Villagers B Trippin’, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And not just because I’m late… With everything. How badly M Anime wants to say that “She’s Late.”

No. Even as I talk to you this evening, I’m much too busy playing war chief. And not in the classic movie “The Warriors” type of way. More like I’m a Level 2 Fire Crystal War Chief in Whiteout Survival. Is there a ‘cool’ way to say that? What do I know about it, E?

Speaking of which, I am “Running On Empty,” Inspector Echo. “Wham Bam Shang-A-Lang” minus the Shang-A-Lang. Thank M Anime for the Wham Bam, Inspector. Yabbos.

Ain’t nothing wrong with that or hers. Well, other than the fact that they aren’t in my mouth right now. Really! Is that all I have to say? My State of the Union. Again, I’m a war chief in a frost-covered wasteland, gaming-wise. So ahem…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

(Turn Up The Radio) Not the Autograph song, but on the phone. (Plays, MØ’s Kamikaze)

Ok, so Wednesday was humiliating. I’ll be brief, E. We got one, two, three ’til the end of the world.

  1. I woke up today
  2. Jerked off listening to and texting back M Anime
  3. The Day Job awaits
  4. Was told I wouldn’t be doing Inventory. Price Changes
  5. Worried my second pair of boots would fall apart
  6. I was so tired that I dumped a bottle of water over my head. I “stole” a few snacks
  7. Drank too much water, so had to use the company restroom. Somebody was… Eww
  8. Got mad again from The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident
  9. Made it back alive

And after that, I couldn’t take my little villager Virgil for a walk. Braxton’s pissed…

Inspector, I assume he is, because I should do better by his little brother. And the fact that I almost forgot to mention Braxton today. “There are too many men, too many people, making too many problems.” And like MAGA, I want to burn everything, everywhere.

“The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.”
― African Proverb

Eff the village, valiant, villainous, and victim alike. Which category do I fall into?

Inspector, let’s just say I like Bella Ramsey as Ellie in Season 2 of The Last of Us. Endure and Survive. It’s what AI, aka the Magic Glasses, says I’m doing: creating whole new worlds. Feeling like my Iron Rain landed in World War Z. Mortal Kombat! Villagers B Trippin’, Virgil

1900 Days Without B III, Day 1341 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 287 ~Braxton, Virgil, BUCKET It~

WillLeave a comment

I can tell my girl anything… Braxton’s Favorite Girl? I remember she and I watched porn together. Where was B? Hell, where is V? And Cherry? I need higher learning to talk to her. Good brains, great bodies, but the Day Job. Braxton, Virgil, BUCKET It

Tuesday, April 14, 2026

Journey 287 ~Braxton, Virgil, BUCKET It~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But Braxton barks, “The best breast, legs, and thighs come in a bucket/box of chicken.”

Who knew my son could be so profound? Who knew an old boss could be one of many “Back Stabbers.” “Smiling Faces Sometimes.” Lesson learned as B barked on Monday.

Honestly, I still hear the voice of my firstborn son. I’m upset that I didn’t see Virgil asleep on the stairs yesterday. And then there are the things I would rather not hear or see.

Ignorance is bliss… We’re not MAGA. FDT and that effing portrait of himself as Jesus.

Ignorance is strength… This is not George Orwell’s 1984 as much as MAGA desires it.

But strength? I appreciate you trying to calm me down with your “Sexxx Dreams” as if you’re my private singer, my “Teenage Dream.” But what I feel today… Iron Rain.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m talking Pierce Brown’s Golden Son being launched into battle, my love. Darrow/Reaper and Virginia/Mustang, Helldivers 2, and Gears Of War. So yeah, I’m mad. And I love you. I love women, I respect women. However, This Bit$h, my love.

Smokin’ Out The Window? I’m sure I said the same thing about you, love. And not always in the throes of passion. But no, I can’t fight the bit$h that caused the problem, then I’m all Christian Grey with you. I torture you… Fifty Shades style. “I wanna effing tear you apart.” Why? I’m just a “Sucker For Pain.” All “Raw” and Playful Devotion hmm.

Seriously, you know the man you married and what’s with all the music and manuscripts? Trying to erase her words…

And that is what pisses me off the most. Excuse me, that is what grieves me the most, my love. The fact that I wasn’t supposed to hear what I did. Communication. That’s all I Ask Of You. It’s all I ask of anyone. I’m an open effing book. A STUPID effing book, but open. For example, as I was telling you some time ago, the reason I like blowjobs so much is that I actually care what you have to say, but the silence. Effing? Food? Never complete silence, moan, cries, screams (I wouldn’t be doing my job right), but we don’t need words… There’s us, my boys bark, our children learning to talk. Then This Bit$h yesterday… EFF!

To afford a bucket of chicken, Braxton, Virgil, BUCKET It

1899 Days Without B III, Day 1340 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 285 ~Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet~

WillLeave a comment

If I didn’t do “IT” after my son passed away… I’m not at that level of grief yet, but I have been depressed the last few days, wondering how and why I’m making it to my feet. And to go where? “We need a new plague.” Please, Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet.

Sunday, April 12, 2026

Journey 285 ~Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And this is one of the few times you want to move your feet. Hurts too much.

And it’s not that little doggie on the nightstand, Little B., or even the lack of dollars you got. I swear I spent my time cursing my hours, and so will you, sadly. Effing humanity!

However, your replacement… descendant… whoever has practically zero hours. Really!

So he’ll be as broke as my boots were last week. So again, you’re not going anywhere at the moment. At least your hands aren’t on your dick. Crassness? Dead dog, no dollars, and your dick. No wonder you’re depressed. There’s always Bloom energy drinks.

Honestly, you’re tempted to sue. Addicted? No! If that were the case, there’s porno galore.

And once again, you’re not into feet. You can’t hide like there’s Covid. Virgil’s still here, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Coach’s Innocent Possession (Erotica)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And you’re keeping them all at a distance because you can’t figure out what’s wrong.

And the stuff you can figure out… It’s not like you can go to the optometrist this week with everything else going on. But you need to go! Another shot in your behind will take care of the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident you’re going through. Hell, the Bloom you’ll drink this afternoon will have you like the oracle told Neo in The Matrix. She said:

“As soon as you step outside that door, you’ll start feeling better. You’ll remember you don’t believe in any of this fate crap. You’re in control of your own life, remember? Here, take a cookie. I promise, by the time you’re done eating it, you’ll feel right as rain.” ―

But how long will it be before you fall right back into this Depression? Well, as long as it takes for you to get horny. You’re always angry and/or horny. You need your space, ha!

And that’s the problem. Hold space like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Hold space. Be a simple kind of man. Don’t go shopping when you’re hungry. Which one of these did your Ma say? You’re a man now. All you needed once upon a time was Braxton and a woman. Do you remember Special K (your maid), Milf Dos, and Braxton’s Favorite Girl? Now there’s Virgil and M Anime. But it’s like all this space. Too much!

“Be the body, not the shadow, hold space.”
― Amina

You’re trying to keep Braxton/Virgil’s bowl full. M Anime is the dream that wants to be filled and fulfilled in every way imaginable. I leave you with an empty bank and an empty bed. And even now, you feel that you’re taking up too much space as you are feeling.

“Super, super, super sui…” Depression sickness. Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet

1897 Days Without B III, Day 1338 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 284 ~V In Depressive, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

I’m goin’ down. And not in the smooth R&B stylings of Mary J. Blige. I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn’t take it. Nor can my boots, the backyard, the bill I need to pay very soon. My boy V2-V. Must I play a victim? V In Depressive, Braxton.

Saturday, April 11, 2026

Journey 284 ~V In Depressive, Braxton~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… No, I’m not! But I’m halfway tempted to get Virgil’s food delivered. Mean, Lazy, Stupid, Uh…

Virgil isn’t sure, and neither am I. If pressed, I’ll say the depressive mood continues.

Sleep would get in the way of crying, and I’m not sure why I am. Everything or “Nothing At All.” If only I were one of the “GoodFellaz.” And yes, M Anime has me Sprung.

Lunalesca, I can get it up for her, but I can’t get on my feet for my boys. I’m ridiculous.

Or I could be sick. Uh, not only in The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident kind of way. I could have a cold. Or is it all the pollen? Any excuse to not go outside, Lunalesca.

Honestly, what’s out there for me? How about all those walks I’ve been skipping with Virgil? Work sucks, I know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Vaginas, mouths, a nice set of yabbos… Must I be vulgar too? What, I said vagina? I’m not Todd from the Succubus Lord series. But even he had a chick. And his best friend Jacob has twenty. Starting with the first seven, the “Circle of Sin”: Lust, Greed, Pride, etc.

And that got me to thinking about my women, writing, and world. Do you know that song “Thirteen Women (and Only One Man in Town)”? Lunalesca, dare I be greedy?

Only with my problems. 99 Problems… And what is M Anime? Behind closed doors, she’s whatever I want. But right now I only want to feel better. I don’t want to be sick, sleepy, or skeevy. But I will be a variety of everything Lunalesca.

And it’s very depressing. But I can’t blame Virgil for that. And what about Braxton?

Lunalesca, no father wants his sons to repeat the wrongs their Dad has done. Such is the blessing of not having opposable thumbs. And the ability to lick their own balls. Or whatever it is Virgil is doing. No balls. That boy ain’t right, I tell you hwat. But I “Don’t Look Down” on him. “Lift Me Up,” don’t I wish. But I lift him up… It’s what I do.

“The pessimist looks down and hits his head. The optimist looks up and loses his footing. The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.”

King Ezekiel, I am not. And yet I smile. Not when I owe people money. Looking down at the termite bill, my boots, the yard I need to cut for Virgil, whatever’s falling from the ceiling. V In Depressive, Braxton.

1896 Days Without B III, Day 1337 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 283 ~Virgil Will B Diagnosed~

WillLeave a comment

To think, last week, I was pretty damn motivated. B knows I don’t have people doing that for me. So, how did I wake up so depressed today? It was more like at the Day Job. Energy drink just wore off… How does V feel waking up? Virgil Will B Diagnosed

Friday, April 10, 2026

Journey 283 ~Virgil Will B Diagnosed~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What do I look like, a writer? I’m not a doctor, I’m depraved. And a Dog-Dad.

Today, all I am is sad. Don’t get me wrong, there were moments… I watched the General Manager at the Day Job get hit on by an older man with his son. I swear, if real life could be like any of the 100’s… thousands of pornos I’ve seen. Eww! I would have stayed, ha!

Extra, extra, read all about it. I ordered something new at the food truck. Seriously!

Where am I getting the cash? This week was horrible. And next week? Honestly, Soph. What do M.D.’s and maniacs have in common? They both get white coats… Not funny?

I told you, I’m sad. So sad, in fact, that I’m reading about my “life’s work.” But my life is a movie, fur buddies… Boobies/yabbos.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And yes, I did read something erotic, but only because it was free, “The Coach’s Innocent Possession,” by Olivia Lilian. How many weeks of this existence have I wasted, Sophia? When I’m not counting time with the days Braxton has been gone, I count weeks with books. So it checks out. Four with fur buddies and ten involving yabbos. Problem?

Perhaps. At least that’s what AI tells me because again, I can’t afford actual diagnoses.

Sophia, I can’t tell you what brought on my sudden depression today. And Braxton, help me, I can’t tell you what is wrong with Virgil. At least it’s his little head and not his little body. How much did it cost again to put my Braxton in a box, hmm?

I don’t ask the question why can’t I get over/Accept my son’s loss. Sophia, that will not happen. EVER! You don’t get over a child’s death. Even when I have a goddess of a woman who would happily give me three more with two legs each, oh, and I can’t forget M Anime’s kitties. She and I must be crazy because again, with what effing money? I want a family with her… Not a declaration of love. That’s madness if you’ve ever seen her yabbos. Do you remember what I did on Tuesday, March 10, 2026? And no doc yet.

The whole month, Sophia. My mental health, my mutt’s mental health (yes, Virgil’s mixed. Mattress mistakes. Monetary health. And my manuscripts… Virgil Will B Diagnosed

1895 Days Without B III, Day 1336 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.

I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.

Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.

My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.

Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.

However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.

Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.

When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.

Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad