Tag: Pain

Legacy 095 -B+ Weakness For Virgil-

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I am not weak. I lost my Kindle reading streak, and I was all about getting it back. I’ll go and lift for hours at the Day Job to be broke. But when it comes to being a literary dynamo, loving a good woman, and “Life Itself…” “B+ Weakness For Virgil”

Sunday, October 4, 2026

Legacy 095 -B+ Weakness For Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And honestly, you don’t know how you’ll make it through the week. You’re weak already. You’re lying.

Headache, Hearing Loss (Virgil’s Crying), Her Humps (M Anime’s ass, more importantly YABBOS), Hating the Day Job, Hurts after the headache, How to make an all-natural ant killer, the list goes on… “And the Beat Goes On.” And what’s with all the H bombs, hmm

Preparation H because all these things “Ready Or Not” are on your ass. Your face?

Honestly tis the season for masks. But if you’re writing means anything… Newsflash: it doesn’t. But The Unfinished Archive and all. “Who Are You”? The Sorcerer Will, or so you wish. Um, Insect Man “Kick Ass 2” has more credibility. What is one more weakness?

Weaknesses? Hell! Since we’re already ripping off music and movies, there’s an epidemic of laziness and less Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Copilot by Luke Witten
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“The Long Walk”? You’d say, feeling the need to steal is quite a weakness. Movies, Music, Manuscripts, etc. Because your own words are never enough. And you could also bring up the “Great Fear.” You know the one using the Magic Glasses/MIMA. The one that had me looking out the window when I hear sirens. And now you have a whole week of waiting at the Day Job. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day. Again, the fucking week.

Seriously, if this were the First Circle of Hell in the Succubus Lord series, this would be one of those annoyances or inconveniences. You can ‘get it up’ for everything that doesn’t matter. Your vices, weaknesses, all the X-Rated crap. Ignoring yabbos? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

But the big weaknesses. FEAR, STUPIDITY, SLOTH, ANGER, LUST, in no particular order. And TIME? Wouldn’t that go with SLOTH? TIME will be a bigger factor this week on top of your exhaustion. You’re too tired of having no time. How do you fix that?

Really… That time came and went a long time ago. It was you sitting in classrooms figuring out a thousand ways to fail. It was you listening to all those motivations as you came and went from the library, and you sat in a McDonald’s drive-thru. It was sitting on the backyard porch with Braxton before ants destroyed it. Getting naked in the kitchen, thinking about M Anime, then… Ants. You’re not weak. You waste weeks. B+ Weakness For Virgil

2072 Days Without B III, Day 1513 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 094 -B’s Don’t Become V’s-

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A man at a gas station asked me for $0.75. I had $0.70. This is after he saw I screwed up my ATM card twice. And before that, I was humiliated at my Day Job. Not fired, only named, blamed, and shamed. How many years of schooling? B’s Don’t Become V’s

Saturday, October 3, 2026

Legacy 094 -B’s Don’t Become V’s-

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Trillionaire right now… So, I can be there for my girl, buy the Day Job, and resurrect my son.

And while I’m at it, I could take care of his little brother, my V. I have nothing against V

But my stock is dropping fast, Lunalesca. My dollars, my dogs/boys, and my damsel too.

So what do I want right now, hmm… From a trillion to wanting to have the strength to get my ass up and spend fifteen bucks on a movie. And have a frost Bloom, Lunalesca.

Must it always fall back to money? I guess I’ll have to fill you in on the Day Job, but let’s count up the humiliations galore at the convenience store first, my dear Lady Lunalesca.

1: I didn’t know how to use my card at the food truck
2: An inferior Icee
3: Seventy-five cents

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

None of these things would have been necessary if I made better grades in school. I never believed I would live this long. “(Forty-two) stoney gray steps towards the grave. You know the box awaits…” Oh, I couldn’t be all “The future’s so bright I gotta wear shades” type of a guy. Hell, that’s everyone these days. But why not yesterday morning I am so…

In need of a thesaurus. But okay, long story short, ahem: Yesterday I was assigned visual, but instead they had me working “truck unload,” so that’s what I did. Nearly three hundred boxes, and then the ASM “J” and bosses “C” and “S” were all over me. And not in the Unfinished Archive Harem sort of way. The Humiliation begins.

Not that I’m remotely interested in any of them. I tell Braxton and Virgil’s Potential Future Stepmom all the time that there’s a reason blowjobs turn me on. Seriously, Luna.

Between getting yelled at, talked about, laughed at, dismissed, and then trying to be a good boyfriend on top of it all. Once again, there are grades, there’s growing up, and there’s green. All of those things, Lunalesca, that’s “What Makes A Good Man.” Honestly.

And G comes before F. But here I am, a forty-two-year-old boy skipping all the way to V as if Virgil was supposed to save me. Virgil didn’t save Dante; he was his guide, Lunalesca. Nothing more. Losing B, I lost everything. Hell’s eternal and deep B’s Don’t Become V’s

2071 Days Without B III, Day 1512 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 093 -Braxton Books Trucks Virgil-

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“Now, I ain’t no sharecropper. I’m a music teacher.” This ain’t Rosewood; I’ll try again. I ain’t no truck unloader; I’m a writer. Well, I ain’t much of either, with my bosses this afternoon and Braxton’s book sales. “But Braxton Books Trucks Virgil”

Friday, October 2, 2026

Legacy 093 -Braxton Books Trucks Virgil-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But not Stephen King’s The Stand. “I will set you to burn.” Fuck, I’m Hot! Umm

Not in a good way, My Lady. More like Humiliations Galore, I Hate Everyone, burning through all ‘my’ cash, sorta hot. Fuck, the weather! I still shouldn’t have gone out.

Honestly, if my books weren’t the only thing that deserved to be burned, maybe I wouldn’t have to. Isn’t it “Ironic” that the only book I have out ended with my son being on fire? And myself? I’m going to Hell. But I’m doomed to the Ninth Circle. But today…

Sometimes I think that part of my punishment is to take a guided tour through Hell? And with Virgil… My poor second-born. I want to tell him, “I Knew You Were Waiting.” But I knew

I brought both of my furry children to ruin. Like I’m fucking Randall Flagg. But no, Sophia. No nuclear warheads, no Captain Trips, and while I spend money like I was in Vegas… Yeah, I’m a fucking idiot! Can I watch my fucking language? Seriously?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Everything that happened today… Women (SIGH). And before I sound like some Incel or Simp… Whatever words the kids are using these days. The gas station, ok. I know Soph

That was my cowardice. I don’t blame the woman behind the counter for banking issues.

And M Anime had quite the day from what I heard. I am exhausted. Anger, Humiliation, genuine Stupidity. It’s all the same fire, and I have nothing left for Braxton and Virgil’s Potential Future Stepmom. And this is after she offers me everything. The Hell?

No, that’s where all my bosses can go—and speaking of Hell or jail? That’s the silver lining here, Sophia. I was too busy thinking about the day job to think about the steel bars of late. With “All These Things That I’ve Done.” Somewhat illegal, sinful, shameful, stupid, and I’m scared. And do I care to “Share?” I could watch that movie tonight because tomorrow I have to get to the movie theater. Free E-Day Popcorn and Soda. It’s fucking October. E-Day month’s over.

Geez! Will I stop? Something I should have told myself when unloading the truck today. Better to be driving the damn trucks chasing some “Lot Lizard” than working with the women at my Day Job. Read a book. Or write one. Braxton Books Trucks Virgil.

2070 Days Without B III, Day 1511 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 092 -B’s For Breathing, Virgil-

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Out of sight, out of mind. But in sleep, I’m still breathing. As I slept, an angel watched over me—my B. Now, as I shut my eyes tightly, I imagine his beautiful stepmom, my girlfriend. But I’m awake; I breathe; I’m scared. “B’s For Breathing, Virgil”

Thursday, October 1, 2026

Legacy 092 -B’s For Breathing, Virgil-

2069 Days Without B III, Day 1510 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Your brother is alive. M Anime wants to have my babies. No banging…

I mean, on the door, of course, B III. Not the cops/FBI, not my Old Man, or anyone I owe.

Yet… I smile? No B. “I feel STUPID.” Your Dad is a “Savage,” ask M Anime. Eww! You don’t need to know that. But for the most part, your Daddy is scared. Fuck! What now?

“The horror! The horror!”
Kurtz

Language! I know, Baby B. I wouldn’t want to scare Virgil. Hell, we’re both terrified.

Braxton, why must your Dad live in this constant state of FEAR? No germ, contagion, disease, virus, or plague is as inane, insidious, infectious, and insane as FEAR. Uh, HATRED and STUPIDITY would like to bark in here. But today B III there is FEAR.

Braxton, I need one of those waking up seeing you…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Breaths… That’s what I didn’t tell your Potential Future Stepmom this morning. I damn well might have been happy every afternoon after the Bad Place. I would nap, and then when I woke up, There You’ll Be. Talk about without the presence of FEAR, Braxton.

Your Potential Future Stepmom has that power too. Again, I was talking to her this morning, and when I lose the ability to think, ONLY breathe, I’m uttering every OBSCENITY, and the words “Oh yeah” seem boring, but everything is OKAY. And why is that? Because M Anime has a perfect set of yabbos but was marveling at Angie Griffin’s

And isn’t that why I’m in trouble? Not with her…

I was “Barely Breathing” when M Anime and I were apart. But she’s been nearly this whole year. And speaking of this whole year, now I’m scared again. Stalking FEAR…

That I do Braxton, every day I need to find something else to scare me. And here I was thinking that once I escaped Emergence month. What? Would October be less terrifying, hmm? Yesterday B was for bugs, bug spray, broken house things (toilet), and buying cleaning supplies, with what, a couple of hundred bucks. Banging, Breaking, boys in blue

I hope not, because who would see to your brother? I beg, I give my blessing, I believe your brother won’t be afraid someday. I can’t tell myself that because I know the man, the boy I am. Braxton, M Anime… B’s For Breathing, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 091 -Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside-

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Years ago, when the shed wasn’t under siege, when the backyard fence wasn’t broken, when I wasn’t scanning the kitchen counter or floors, etc. B was on his pillow while I wrote. Let me out, let me in. Now I’m trapped. “Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside”

Wednesday, September 30, 2026

Legacy 091 -Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What, by living? Don’t get me wrong, forty-two years is way too much for my liking. Buying books?

One of the many ways I fucked up yesterday. And there were indeed several, Inspector.

Enough to make me want to lose “My Boys.” When we get into it, you’ll see how STUPID I’ve been. But Inside/Outside is a… Let’s say it’s a silly game at least for Braxton Barks.

I swear my firstborn went everywhere. Is it ironic to call him both a free spirit and alive, Inspector? What is ironic is his brother, Virgil Vivi. He’s like a ghost. And I wish I were talking about the Good Boy from Game of Thrones. Is Virgil Ride or Die? Hell, that’s what I get for naming him after Dante’s hellish guide. He is a ghost, like a pillar of salt, a scoop of vanilla.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It’s like he melts away into the floor or wherever I place him. Braxton and his potential future stepmom, and I talk a lot about having two-leggeds. Sometimes it’s like Virgil forgets he has four legs. Somebody at the Day Job said they’ve seen us walking. So good, I’m not imagining Virgil is here. But he’d rather not be here in this house. Myself, Echo.

I would make my absence permanent. But I’m a father of two. Not one, Inspector!

Seriously, you remember The Running Man (2025)? “Richard Lives!” Inspector, always and forever, Braxton Lives! My brave boy. I envy him. And not only the whole shuffling off the mortal coil part. I wish I were so brave as to have his fierceness. Nope Inspector.

“I don’t want to be just one thing. I can’t be. I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind.”
Four ― Divergent

Today, “I feel STUPID!” And we could go on and on in this Mad Season with all that happened at the Day Job. So fucking idiotic that I needed a second to forget. Day One…

I didn’t jerk off yesterday; too much was happening. I didn’t confide in M Anime…

Plenty of things I want inside her. Okay, I’ll stop, or rather begin. Inspector, honestly…

So yesterday ants retook the counter and the doorway. I was mixing up ant killer from the bathroom because you remember what happened last time with all the bug spray…

While fighting that battle, the guest bathroom went cattywampus. Then Amazon was taking my Kindle points, so I bought four books. Outside confidence. Inside blatant STUPIDITY. Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside

2068 Days Without B III, Day 1509 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 090 -B Plays Portal Virgil-

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What Hell is this? What time? Which dimension? But it all tracks. A loving and loyal wife. Same for the family, furry and not. And the home? Monday, Fine. Today… A reenactment of the movie Starship Troopers. I prefer Succubus 8. B Plays Portal Virgil

Tuesday, September 29, 2026

Legacy 090 -B Plays Portal Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But do you know what I need to reread? Pet Loss? Some love story? Kinda

The instructions to the game “Portal”? How I miss the days when games came with actual instruction booklets. I love those. And players’ guides. Game Genie. To have time again.

But no. What I’m in the mood for today is Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge): A LitRPG Series by A.J. Markam. “Give Me One Reason to stay here,” you say… May I suggest “Portal 2”? Seriously, what is it about me and portals today? And in the spirit of full transparency, I’ve never played either Portal. And I’m trying to remember Succubus 8 as best I can. This is what happens when you don’t use a woman for audiobooks. Sheesh!

Anyway, I finally got to bed last night, and this morning everything has gone cattywampus.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your lover, your best friend, your husband, father to our children, I damn sure try!

Honestly though, a plumber, an exterminator, a repair guy, an award-winning author, my love… This is where it is written, “you have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.” Yes, I am guilty of saying that every day is worse than the last. But with you, our children, fur and skin, I can survive. Only today it’s like I stepped through a portal… Maybe only by a few days to show all my effing loserdom.

You don’t know how badly I want to go back right now. How far? It has nothing to do with you, my boys, our family. Just me. My E-Day wish.

Near the end of E-Day month. I wish the day never existed. Always and forever.

Honestly… I know, my love, I know. I tend to take things too far. But that’s because I want to be even farther away. Or is it further? Did I mention that my writing sucks?

Anyway, A.J. Markam’s protagonist “Ian” had powers over the “Hell Pont”; he could use portals to travel anywhere. Why do you think I chose magic in The Unfinished Archive? Necromancy, time travel, and, portals. And why yesterday was “FINE”.

Today: Ants, busted drawer, crazy toilet, and let’s not forget about the car. Loving you?

Going to see a movie, lying in bed prattling on about the Halliwell sisters. Beats Hell. B Plays Portal Virgil.

2067 Days Without B III, Day 1508 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 088 -Pawsing Braxton And Virgil-

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I’m somewhat paws off with V. Dad has too much to do, and I can’t pause everything. But I do. Because of writing… PAIN, FEAR, and my everyday STUPIDITY. Or is it insanity? I tried to pause B’s life to become successful. Ha! Pawsing Braxton And Virgil

Sunday, September 27, 2026

Legacy 088 -Pawsing Braxton And Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And when you pause here in the bathroom, at a mirror column at the Day Job, Virgil

Just one more reason it hurts to look at him sometimes. Yes, you’re failing him too. And it’s only been ten hours. But what you mean is, when you see your reflection in his eyes.

Could you wanna take my picture?
‘Cause I won’t remember
Take a Picture
Filter (1999)

But you do remember… PAIN. As you fuck FEAR. What would you call this relationship?

You feel FEAR like you care for M Anime or love your boys. Perpetual. Eternal. Always and Forever. Thus, HAPPINESS is an impossibility if FEAR is Eternal. Is it paused?

Honestly, does PAIN pause? You know better than to ask B and V’s potential future stepmom. It’s one reason you get along so well. Between her physical and your mental…

That isn’t to say you don’t both have issues, but seriously, your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Teachers: A Single Dad Harem
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But since I didn’t bother to think of these things. I offer you some other mental gymnastics vis-à-vis The Unfinished Archive. The Magic Glasses/MIMA being a PAIN means you need to think for yourself at least until you can unpause your existence. How to think?

Why Obsidian Stone? Black Volcanic Glass. A different type of “Black Mirror.” It’s stronger than Brimstone. So when you’re creating your most beautiful hellish world…

Red, Yellow, Green Moons? A stoplight. Blood moon for past blood. Pale yellow for present fear and pain. Green: Go, whether wanted or not. The Moon controls the tides always.

Archive Numbers: Sorcerer, Two Sons. Ten Harem Sisters. Ten Named Acolytes of Bible Black\Black Bible Sisterhood. Three Enemies. Two Subordinates???

Pause Reality. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

You’ve been thinking about how you can pause the bad things and live inside them.

Think Ellone from Final Fantasy VIII. Why can’t you pause the good things? When you want to pause the next bad thing from happening, you stay in bed. You sleep. Because when you’re asleep, the monsters can’t get you. It’s probably why I favored the loveseat, and you might too. Leaving means getting in bed. And while you love bed… The sooner you go to bed, the sooner you have to wake up, and there’s FEAR and PAIN. And since comedy comes in threes, STUPIDITY. Past PAIN red. Current STUPIDITY yellow. And FEAR goes green. But a good dinner, a great orgasm, and green dollars. Somehow. Pawsing Braxton And Virgil

2065 Days Without B III, Day 1506 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 087 -Won’t B Piggie, Virgil-

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V and I pigged out. Steak, lobster, baked potato with lobster chunks, and a thing of French fries. Oh and Cheddar Bay biscuits. It wasn’t just the food and a full stomach. Comfort and joy? Wrong holiday? A promise kept to B. “Won’t B Piggie, Virgil.”

Legacy 087 -Won’t B Piggie, Virgil-

Saturday, September 26, 2026

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Trillionaire right now… Which means I can eat all the bacon I please. Ham? Pork chops? A spit roast?

Must I, today? Honestly, I’m not in a “Sexual Healing” type of mood. And obviously I’m lying about that. I’m always horny, angry, and scared. And I am never satisfied.

Seriously, I need to stop lying, Lady Lunalesca. Because, as it was with Braxton, a time without FEAR… Lying in bed and seeing my boy watching the door, protecting me.

Lunalesca, at least for a little while, my belly was full. There was energy, light, and dare I say life? And here we are the very next day, the very next moment, full of bullshit.

Language! My kids are around. I could feel my Braxton’s ‘spirit’. And Virgil’s full of fries and some cuts of steak, only to roll into cookies’ n’ cream ice cream.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I mean his body, which is way different than Braxton’s. B would curl up in my lap and lie there like the warmest, fluffiest pancake. Meanwhile, V is rolled up in the fetal position, expecting abuse. He’s never been hit once since he’s been here. Lu, you know me, hmm.

It’s sad. And you know I pig out on depression, grieving, mourning, and sadness, Luna.

Hate? That too. I’m thinking about that episode of The Twilight Zone, “I Am the Night-Color Me Black.” You see… Or maybe not. The world is so full of… Everything!

Lunalesca, it’s not necessarily beauty, like Ricky says in “American Beauty.” But “I Want It All.” But most days “I ask for nothing, I can get by.” Oh really? Olds?

Fair enough. And if I really were a trillionaire, would I be happy? Hell no! No presence of fear… You know the Michael Kewley quote. But to be full of anything else, my dear Lu

And yesterday there was a mountain of food. Steak and lobster, a lobster baked potato I didn’t order (I wanted regular), but good. Fries for Virgil. And Cheddar Bay Biscuits.

It’s like the moment I… Cum… No, the food wasn’t that good. What I mean is, for that split second, eww. I’m free. It’s not bad, my Lu. Fear, doubt, and disbelief, free your mind.

Stupid, but it’s like Whiteout Survival. I look to Braxton. He was light and warmth.

Furance… And I cook everything. Burn. Won’t B Piggie, Virgil

2064 Days Without B III, Day 1505 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 086 -V, Will, B, Entertained-

WillLeave a comment

Long walks on the beach… I haven’t been to the beach since I was a child. So what’s fun? Sleep. I have a PS4 I never play. Music, movies, manuscripts. My girl has massive mammaries. And what about the mutt? You mean my son? “V, Will, B, Entertained.”

Friday, September 25, 2026

Legacy 086 -V, Will, B, Entertained-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Later. Always later. Sprawled out on the loveseat, two-in-the-morning type of later. Because reading a clock…

How I hate math. It doesn’t read that Braxton had only fifteen years. Sixteen if…

Seriously, it doesn’t tell me that I’m failing 2-V. His birthday is on the 20th next month. V will be turning six. When’s the last time he saw a Doc, got all the dirt off, or had a Dad who paid attention to him? I’m not a monster, Sophia. A cyclops? Considering my eye, ha!

Or the fact I can’t keep my hand off my one-eyed monster when I’m reading everything his potential future stepmom says. A psycho? Sophia, I love all the little creatures.

My boys Braxton and Virgil, of course. But if I see one more ant… And what? I want to order more food. A Bloom, please!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

First, I made a promise to Braxton: that while I may hate E-Day, Emergence Day, there was no greater honor than being his father. B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters, and so for fifteen years my life mattered. And I failed him. I am failing his brother. But I celebrate? The nerve

Not really. But I owe my boys a dinner. Didn’t I mention I hate math? But if my calculations are correct… Dubious maybe. I can afford an Emergence Day dinner.

Twenty-four days after the fact. And what is Twenty-four reversed? Forty-two. I hate being forty-two. Hell, the fact of the matter is I hated day one. Hence eff Emergence Day!

And the day after. I’ll go to a movie. Remember meeting B’s Favorite Girl? Memories.

Which Emergence Day was that? I can’t recall. But that day I felt up Special K as we watched “Twilight: Eclipse.” And then I actually left the house to go see “Nerve” and meet Braxton’s Favorite Girl. Or she would be about six months later. Braxton found her quite entertaining as he barked his head off. Sophia, speaking about entertainment…

More books! Have I left any money for books? And I missed another Kindle Double Points Day. How many books are in the “Pledged To Him” series? “Ryan and His Beauties” came out with a third. And, hell, Lady Sophia, I’m still reading Dystopian Girls 6? Or flipping pages to keep the streak because The Unfinished Archive is SO captivating.

Entertained? V, Will, B, Entertained

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

2063 Days Without B III, Day 1504 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

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“I never bawled!” A Christmas Story. It’s two weeks and change past “E-Day,” and it’s already “Christmas Time In Hell,” or the Bad Place, as my boys bark. But I’m not crying about it, playing around, and “I Won’t Dance.” Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling.

Thursday, September 24, 2026

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

2062 Days Without B III, Day 1503 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? “Fighting and trouble are my middle name.” Yours, “Barks”; your brother’s “Vivi”.

“Duh”! I want to avoid talking about today. I don’t want to talk about next week either, B. Damned if I do work and damned if I don’t. Why can’t this be work? Braxton side-eye

I haven’t bawled over you and Virgil much this week. And maybe I should… Keep my eyes nice and lubricated. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t worried about going blind since all the bugs, the bug spray, and any other bullshit getting in my eyes. Even now…

Alice Braga and Mark Ruffalo in “The Blindness”. Seriously? I’d say I should send you to time-out, but I did that permanently five years ago. There I go crying again. “Stop Crying Your Heart Out,” right? Or “Eat More Chicken.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

It beats the alternative, though. “’Cause we men, ain’t we?” “Glory” be! We are but men, Braxton. You, Virgil, and I. You licking your downstairs. Me and your potential future stepmom, and Virgil is looking for something of his own. Like father, like son, balless.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. Your brother and I are both cowards. But then I go talking to M Anime, and I’m all “Balls Deep In Love.” I know B III, I really do. Ahem, ew.

But I did promise to find you a mom someday… Stepmom. Speaking of promises, B…

We’re still in Emergence Day month, and with my last paycheck… Uh oh! I was thinking I could get that Emergence Day dinner I couldn’t afford on the day. Work?

The Bad Place. This week and last have not been a ball. And this coming week, I go back to being broke. I even wasted twenty bucks at the food truck today. Shared with Virgil…

And as far as broke, that’s what I was doing at the Bad Place today. I had to break a pallet that was stuck on the pallet jack this morning. In front of so many babes… Uh, boobs/yabbos… Not quite… Busybodies? B, for all intents and purposes, it was humiliation galore. I felt like bawling. And I don’t mean playing b-ball- the real ick, B.

Bawling my eyes out, drooling over M Anime’s big beautiful yabbos, even balling as in playing Whiteout Survival. Life’s no ball. Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad