Tale 083 ~I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil~

So I can say I read the worst thing. The number 527. Braxton held the record at 526, as he was still in the world, but now? Now, I’m debating reading for Kindle Challenges. More books on dead fur babies. And… sigh, HaremLit. I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil

Friday, September 22, 2023

Tale 083 ~I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… No matter how many times I read that, it ain’t true. But I’m thirty-nine with E-Day…

One more reason I look like a Republican. No, I don’t mean with skin tone, ha-ha. I mean the fact that I hate “my” history. Again, I’m thirty-nine, and what have I done? Nothing! Hell! The past three years have been spent reading about how to bury fur babies. But I should check how many books I’ve read on that subject. And I’m not feeling my Kindle right now. Amongst other things, but we’ll get to that, Lady Sophia. I haven’t broken 161, hmm. But 527? Last night, while reading “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” I broke my record with Monsieur B. That started Wednesday, September 16, 2020. Sigh. Yes, I know the streak ended Wednesday, February 23, 2022. Wi-Fi failure…

But I still got to see a day when Braxton was in the world, and now that reminder is gone. So there I was last night. And I’m apologizing for “forgetting” my son again, Lady Sophia. Forgetting, of course, isn’t the right word, but critics… And speaking of which, why don’t I give them something to criticize for real? All the books that I’ve written and should be writing. But Day Job plus laziness? Look what time it is. I should have been up at four. And while playing around with the phone for a while. What was I reading? Instead, what was I looking at? It’s not like I could have any fun. Virgil gets to sleep here. No reading on the couch yesterday

Who knows? If Virgil gets fifteen years like Braxton. Only I’ll be sitting here ranting and raving about minimum wage, making a change, and turning a page in existence. Too late! My Lady, I’ll be forty next year, and what will I be doing regarding reading and writing? Which do you think is more pathetic? Reading about dead fur babies. Or, let’s say, women and elements of life? For now, I’ll stick with my Amazon book orders —except for Eric Vall. I’ve made it through his series again, and Satan’s Sorority Girls 2 isn’t an audiobook yet. I still think Logan Jacobs is racist to an extent with “Backyard Dungeon.” And what of the “HaremLit” I’m writing? Seriously, Cherry and Braxton would be upset —the characterizations. I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil.

964 Days Without B III, Day 405 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 082 ~Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton~

I haven’t seen a Math class in years, but still hate it. And reading… That’s how bad it is. I read novels in Math. But if I read one more day, my record with B III on September 16, 2020, is broken. Broken already, but… Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton

Thursday, September 21, 2023

Tale 082 ~Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton~

963 Days Without B III, Day 404 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You could be anywhere right now. Better than here? Daddy’s in the Special Hell. Still?

What? You rather I be mad than sad? And yes, B III, I have already cried over you once. It was for the stupidest reason. But I was mad as Hell when Virgil came close to vomiting all over the phone a few weeks ago. Only he was sick. And when you were the same, Braxton? I could be all sorts of mad at you now. You know me and my fondness for list B III. Braxton, today is Wednesday, September 20, 2023. But by the time you read this, it will have been 964 Days that I’ve had a broken heart. Even now, I want to yell at you, ha-ha. What about the bed I continue sitting in that’s collapsing? Depression and Humiliations galore.

Cherry would not be pleased about what amounts to a character study. And neither would an ex-beauty queen that did… certain movies. And what about writing my books, like I always promised? Because the last thing I want to do to today B is more reading. That’s what brings me here today. As you can see, my record for “Days in a row” on Wednesday is 525, soon to be 526. And there lies the problem. Thursday will be 527 Days. Braxton… I’m breaking “my” record. And in so doing, a part of you… is disappearing. It’s like a Mario Kart Time Trial, your ghost. Virgil’s been here 404 Days, Braxton. Breaking a record like this doesn’t mean much in the big scheme of things.

Hell! Braxton, when you died, I didn’t do anything… let’s say sinful for 161 Days. Counting today, I’m not even close to breaking that record at 54. Another reason I’m trying to talk to you instead of looking up Yabbos. But I did speak to your Aunt Carolina yesterday. Nothing can be that paradise, I would think. Although that would explain why you’re not breaking out of Heaven, Hell, or testing the Rainbow Bridge… I’m sure Virgil could use a break from my existing. He’s not so desperate today… Tomorrow? Triple B, you are your father’s son. You wanted to stay always and forever -trying to save me from breaking down in a broken world. I made “my” bed, this Hell. Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 076 ~Virgil And Miranda, B~

Do you remember reading about Carlee Russell? And what about the stuff she was reading? As for me… what do you do when someone leaves their cash at the ATM? Where do Miranda Rights come from? But I’m not a thief… of money… Virgil And Miranda, B.

Friday, September 15, 2023

Tale 076 ~Virgil And Miranda, B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Or maybe I would be if I were another stupid thief. A member of the GOP?

But I would rather not read about them. Another old GOP white guy escaping punishment? And I’m not Hunter Biden, either. No, Sophia, as the song goes, “Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme.” And while I’m busy singing, “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Braxton’s Daddy is always a black man. And in America, what’s even worse. Stupidity? Uh, no. So why didn’t I get stupid today? Existence is either a porno or a crime, Sophia. I saw some ladies outside of Walmart today. And I immediately began rehearsing a script from “Street Blowjobs.” Or “Blacked?” Anyway, existence has been taxing, sigh —a week after the thirty-ninth E-Day. And Braxton’s been gone 957 days. “Just Another” day.

At least I’m not in a jail cell. And Virgil isn’t learning to read “Miranda Rights.” He won’t be hearing about vampires either. I know, I know, Lady Sophia. You’re asking what did I do today. Instead, it’s what I didn’t do. But I was talking to Braxton’s Aunt. So…

I’m at the ATM waiting to be broke again. Sophia, I drive up and see the cash tray is open. “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all!” I don’t know how much money was there, but FREE MONEY! Now, we’ve all heard this question. If you found a million dollars in the street, would you take it? Yes! But my Ma didn’t raise no fool. Well, she did. But like most women, she’s into those crime shows, ha-ha.

Why am I not a killer? Well, that’s a lie. I know you’re sick of reading this. I killed Braxton. Anyway, with people, I’d never get away with it. The same with thievery. Cash money. ATMs have cameras and all sorts of security. Who knows what might have happened if I had run off with that money? Uh, jail? Desire is desire. And yet, today, I didn’t steal a thing. Stupid! As I said, what would some of the ladies do outside of Walmart for the right price in their desperation? And speaking of women, what will I download today that I haven’t paid for? I know a few people who own rather unscrupulous software. Criminality Sophia? But Virgil needs me? Virgil And Miranda, B.

957 Days Without B III, Day 398 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 075 ~Virgil Pretends To B~

If I can “see” ghosts, maybe V can too. Anytime I have to go out and pretend to be a good person, it sounds like a haunted house as I close the door. So besides writing, sleeping, or gazing at yabbos, I pretend it will be better. Virgil Pretends To B

Thursday, September 14, 2023

Tale 075 ~Virgil Pretends To B~

956 Days Without B III, Day 397 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? More to the point. Are you happy? I read up on The Rainbow Bridge, sometimes.

It’s supposed to be a happy place. And more than anything, B, I want you to be a happy puppy. Hell! You were fifteen when you left, and I still considered you my little puppy. You’d be eighteen now. Even after your “passing,” I still call you for “medicine time.” How’s that for ACCEPTANCE? Your Dad could use some type of medication, I guess, B. Is it the fact that I’m calling out to the dead? Well, only you. But yeah, I have that book on vampires. It could be all the bugs biting as I clean up your yard like you would be proud. It’s all “The Land of Make Believe,” Braxton. But Hell is far too real. Which is why I’m writing today.

Yeah, your Daddy is time-traveling, but only a day. It’s Wednesday, September 13, 2023. And before I get started on why I’m talking to you so late. It’s around 4:30 p.m., and I’m in bed. Of course, sigh. V’s laying here pretending being here’s his “Welcome to the good life.” Like father, like freeloader. I swear, Braxton, one day I’ll stop calling him that. Lying? Daddy was never one for acting but, strangely enough, for ACCEPTANCE. Now, after E-Day, with me being another year older. I swear thirty-nine sucks. Thirty-eight, thirty-seven, thirty-six. Thirty-six was an awful year. Oh! I should have died at “Seventeen,” Braxton. But I keep pretending, don’t I? That bullying lie of It Gets Better. It doesn’t. Nothing stops. Nothing. Well, you…

Only I keep going like I was today. Do I want to talk about the Day Job now or yesterday? What about what I did after? All the time in the world, and besides eating and sleeping, what did I do with it? I was like you when your Aunt Carolina came through —buried in Yabbos. Only for me, it was Cherry’s. As if I could recreate that beauty like something out of “The Truman Show.” And speaking of big racks, there was also Momokun. After a couple of downloads, um… Your Dad is not a good man. And I don’t do well at acting. Well, “When we pretend that we’re dead,” you have me beat. Teach Virgil to be happy. Virgil Pretends To B.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 069 ~E-Day B Fell Virgil~

Day 1 after E-Day. How do I feel? I never expected to make it to 39. I always feel like a little boy that should be a “walker.” And now I’m reading about vampires. Every year, I wish for a zombie apocalypse. Before Braxton died. “E-Day B Fell Virgil”

Friday, September 8, 2023

Tale 069 ~E-Day B Fell Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I wish I was drunk enough to say that’s why I’m butchering the English language.

But no, Lady Sophia. I am pretty sober, scared, skeevy, and what’s that goes… “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” And there goes my critic. “You can’t use words like that.” I’m sure I’ll be hearing that from my Olds any day now. I know, it never ends, never ends.” And the one I want to hear from my little boy, Braxton. Old age, sickness. I’ll say I killed him. But I didn’t kill it yesterday regarding E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Now, which of those terms do I keep forgetting about, Lady Sophia? As the song goes, “I’m still breathing, I’m alive.” It’s Day 1 of “my” brand new year, and I already wish… Again, Sophia, I’m one greedy “person” who turned 39. And it sucks!

So what did I do yesterday as I was turning? Coincidence I’m reading about vampires? A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising, to be precise. No more dead fur babies? Sophia, we’ll get to that. It’s the only reason I got up at around 6:00 a.m. V had a fall. Anyway, so, yesterday. “My” body doesn’t know what to do with eight hours, so I got six and some change. It was like any other “Lovely Day.” I let V outside as I drank a cappuccino. Then I helped myself to a cupcake and wasted away on the computer, Lady Sophia. Inevitably, the Old Man texts along with my Ma and bam! For someone constantly “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” Fear, Adrenaline, “Fight To Survive.”

Not so much a fight, but I have a few days at least. But we’re talking about E-Day. So next? I took a shower, and then all that criminality; I didn’t do Wednesday. So, yesterday? Lady Sophia, I didn’t commit any crimes. Shocking! I know. If anything, I zoned out until it was time for Virgil to go outside again. Then I read and not much else until… the food. Now, that was a mess. While I was being all “Law Abiding Citizen,” someone else… Anyway, the food was stolen, I guess, and the second try was lacking. Doordash hmm? After that… to bed. And Virgil slipped off a pillow and hit the floor. Repeating. Rut, Regret… every E-Day, without Braxton. E-Day B Fell Virgil

950 Days Without B III, Day 391 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 068 ~Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day~

Welcome to Level 39! Welcome to E-Day. It’s still the 6th, and the day is a waste. 14244 days of worthlessness. There were 15 years with the greatest guy ever. My son. And 39 years of living in terror of a few people… Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day.

Thursday, September 7, 2023

Tale 068 ~Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day~

949 Days Without B III, Day 390 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Welcome to Level 39. I think I’m going to be sick. Dead? Just Survive Somehow.

In the next few minutes… I could be joining you. I’m time-traveling as today is Wednesday, September 6, 2023; current time is 2:48 PM. Your granddaddy said he’ll be here at 3:00. I would trade places with you in a heartbeat, Braxton. How many more, hmm? The person I am right this second will change between his arrival and departure, Braxton. I said the same thing about you on many different occasions. But the one I’m thinking about right this second… I didn’t burst into tears at the Day Job for nothing. I needed the pain of losing you to negate the pain of losing myself. The Horror, the Horror awaits. We’re T-Minus 5 minutes. I thought midnight would be the worst, but your Gramps.

But let’s say I survive this moment. Braxton, he’s 3 minutes away, running late, whatever.

Yeah, whatever. This afternoon, I’m going to hop in the shower… I remember you hated me doing that. We are creatures of routine. And an evening shower meant… the movies. As in, I’m leaving you. There were your Aunt’s mammaries, which you loved so much. There was that time with the maid, Special K. Or there was more work from the Day Job. Must I make a big deal out of everything, even a shower? Braxton, please help me! Anyway, tomorrow, I won’t set any alarms. I’ll wake up when I’m good and ready. Braxton, should I order something for breakfast and lunch? Take care of Virgil, of course, duh!

Another thing for this afternoon. I should take care of all my criminality. Just saying. Don’t I always say I don’t have time to work on your albums? But somehow, I’ll find the time to work on some… anyway, The Pic Phenomenon. I’d never do that when you were around. And VV? He runs on fear and Adrenaline like me. Like father, like freeloader, ha. Stop! I hear ya, B III, I do. I wish I could stop this fear right now. And today, Braxton. Today, there’s a good night’s sleep, some good food, and Simoleons in my pocket, funny. It’s now 3:29. Your Gramps isn’t here yet. E-Day is coming for me. My E-Day wish is… that we are together. Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 062 ~B A Storybook Virgil~

A chapter done… Or will be, come E-Day as we’re headed that way. I wish it could have been as simple as the end of a video game or a movie with mutant turtles. Nope! I never want to be as old as “my” grandma. But Braxton? “B A Storybook Virgil.”

Friday, September 1, 2023

Tale 062 ~B A Storybook Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Meaning that should I survive this coming E-Day. I’ll become the stuff of myth and legend.

Don’t forget about books. Um, I did yesterday. Kindle’s next challenge doesn’t come out until the 2nd. And until then? Well, there’s more dead fur babies. And a new audiobook. Hell! I remember when I was maybe seven and couldn’t dream of such things. I mean having money, of course. Here I am on the cusp of thirty-nine… Eww! The thought makes me wanna die. But I digress. When I was seven or thereabouts. And Sophia, I’ve told this story. I asked the question. “What the Hell is going on!” Talk about a humiliating E-Day. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Game might have made it better, but leave it to grandmas. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze didn’t help. I’m ungrateful.

I wanted a game back then. Now, if I could have all I ever wanted, that is a letter. B. Okay, let me be specific and use his “government” name, my son, Braxton Barks Bradford. But he’s something you can’t order off the DoorDash App. No more E-Day cash (sigh). Well, if you count Braxton’s Aunt. But we’ll get to her. Orders from unscrupulous types? And Hell, I’ve even been looking at OnlyFans. But those girls are getting quite annoying. I’d instead pay off Cherry, M Anime, the MILF… Stick with paying off foreign contacts. In case you’ve been wondering where I’ve been till 9:00. Not jerking off… buying Bitcoin. I’ve been thinking about the last “decent” E-Day. Braxton’s Aunt met him on E-Day ha-ha.

I’m sure she was here for other ones. And she even made a cake on Braxton’s birthday. It was the first time he ever said no to food. Well, there were his last days. An adopted grandma told me I should remember the good times. Braxton’s eyes were bigger than his stomach. And not his kidneys failing him. Did I mention I’m reading about grief? Always and forever, but I wasn’t supposed to make it this far. No! Thirty-Nine (shudders). Already, the writing is on the wall, literally. I’ve been getting messages from all over. Today, I noticed my Olds aren’t in texts. It’s been a month since I spoke to them… E-Day stories usually ended with Braxton. But now Virgil? B A Storybook Virgil

943 Days Without B III, Day 384 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 061 ~To B Remembered Virgil~

My first “Happy…” NOPE! That word is not in the vocabulary, but good works well enough. E-Day is nothing but nightmares. But when Braxton was here… Hell! The third E-Day without him is coming up. Not that Virgil says anything. To B Remembered Virgil…

Thursday, August 31, 2023

Tale 061 ~To B Remembered Virgil~

942 Days Without B III, Day 383 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Well, we’re talking on Sunday, August 27, 2023. So you know about my Thursday. Sigh

I don’t think I’ve “worked” this hard… Well, since that week, I found out you were dying. I swear I’ve talked to the Man in the Mirror, Dear Future Wife, Inspector Echo. Last again, B III? To my everlasting shame. But this week and the next… You know what’s coming? E-Day! I wish we could talk about the fence you guarded. Yeah, it’s been bothering me. Even now, I think I should put some more nails into it. Virgil’s been sniffing around. A way out, B? If only I had worked on all my other writing the way I’ve been working to endure the next couple of weeks. Your grandparents haven’t called or texted. Your aunt neither. Inevitable, I know. So, a question. Any room up there where you are.

The Rainbow Bridge, Heaven or Hell? You were/are a good boy, B. You remember that. Always and forever. But your Daddy isn’t getting into Heaven. And where I am now. Hot as it is, like one of the hoodies I wear, I miss your fur. What about sharing with you? Again, there’s E-Day —Emergence, Existence, Extinction. You didn’t bother remembering. Thank you. It’s the reason I miss your Aunt Carolina. Braxton, say hello sometime, please. Emerging from my bed as you stepped on my head was worth me trying, whatever. Existing, now I did that with you and your aunt or when I needed to protect you B III ha. Extinction, this week, next, I’m damn near forty but no only thirty-nine. Remember it, B.

As “I will remember you.” Listen to me about to sing some Sarah McLachlan, Braxton. Daddy can remember everyone else’s words but mine? There are memories and manuscripts, and do I go with mammaries or money? Movie nights? But you were such an old man when you met your Aunt Carolina. You met her on E-Day, remember that Little B? And she was here for a couple of mine and even one of your birthdays. Today is the first time I’ve remembered anything from that terrible day. It won’t last. But all my crying B. Remembering how I was born and how you died. And then there’s Virgil. A little Receiver of Memory if I spoke to him more often. If, To B Remembered Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 055 ~That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”~

It is not weak to value life. I valued Braxton’s one way, and Virgil’s the other. And if I wasn’t on the cusp of E-Day… One more week. And then what? Next week will be more of the same, and then… And here come the tears. That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”

Friday, August 25, 2023

Tale 055 ~That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I can create my own word. Happiness will never become me. And The Ten Commandments…

“You lost him when he went to seek his God. I lost him when he found his God.” ― Sephora

Whether it be that mere minutes ago, I was lost in “The Pic Phenomenon.” You know my weakness so well. And yes, I can spell Sophia. Or is it the thought of one week remaining? Either way, I was led to the word of “God” this morning. Necromancy now Christianity?

Hell! If I believe in anything, it’s in my little boy, my son B. The little God that he is. He couldn’t save me at 37, 38. Only here we are a week away from 39. What the Hell am I going to do? We’ll get to that. Haven’t I been saying that for years, Sophia? Here we are approaching the 39th E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. It’s about damn time… To go? What about Virgil?

Didn’t I say something about Virgil not being Braxton’s reincarnation this past week? If anything, I am a weakness that the two of them share. Braxton didn’t want to go, and Virgil asked me to stay. It sucks to be V for the moment because he thought this week was hard. Well, next week… I guess it could be worse. The Day Job demands. And while I’m speaking of a Day Job, a business? “My” favorite hot dog place closed down on Wednesday. I couldn’t even treat myself to one more pepper dog, Sophia. Inevitable. Isn’t it? Time! Now that Lady Sophia is a major weakness. Time, Titties, Tears. And the little two-year-old at the end of the bed. That, again, (sigh) ain’t my son.

No! My child died on Sunday, January 31, 2021, at 15. That’s around 76-80 human years. Seeing as how he was on the cusp of being 16. B III was/is so strong. Existing hasn’t made me so. I wish I had never emerged. And extinction? Olds called? They haven’t yet. But supporting a “man,” that’s 39. Who needs that kind of weakness? Jigsaw would have a field day with me. Something to do with the survival instinct… Sophia, I am still here. It’s what I tell everyone. So, shouldn’t that tell me something about my strengths and weaknesses? I have one more week to figure it out. But then what I ask will come next. Hell! One last book to read… That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”

936 Days Without B III, Day 377 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 054 ~B Thankful For Virgil~

The motivations I listened to spoke on Gratitude. I’m grateful for the meditations that help me breathe. It’s getting harder to do by the day. But my boys need me…Did I really say that? Believe it? B III was here once, and V. “B Thankful For Virgil.”

Thursday, August 24, 2023

Tale 054 ~B Thankful For Virgil~

935 Days Without B III, Day 376 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Hell! Today is Sunday, August 20, 2023, Time Travel. And today’s already to be ruined.

Do I blame you for not being here anymore? Nope. I still blame “me, myself, and I” for that. But I am thankful you were here once upon a time. Start with Gratitude, right? Little B, I’ll be grateful if your grandparents haven’t called today. We’re getting even closer, B. I mean not you and I because I can’t hear you. I’m trying, but I’m not waiting around either. No! I’m much too busy hitting the buttons and accomplishing nothing. So, why did I get these ideas of Gratitude? As I sit here in bed today. You’d be locked up. Yeah, that lets you know exactly what I was doing. And you thought my baby talk was crazy. With you, I had a voice B.

I’m thankful I heard it once. And that I didn’t sound crazy. Okay, yeah, it was plenty of madness. But at least I wasn’t talking to myself. Virgil’s here, but we never speak at all. He doesn’t know me, and as the song goes, “I think I’m turning Japanese.” Successful? Only at wasting my time with that sort of thing. What? You had a thing for your Aunt’s Yabbos, if I recall. I’m grateful I had… have a friend like her. But I haven’t heard from her in a while. Have you gone to check on her? You both know my feelings on E-Day: Emergence, Existence, and Extinction. To you, it was more fries and maybe a bit of steak. Grateful I’m eating anything now.

But I feel so good right now because I haven’t thought about it in a bit B. Not thinking… I haven’t thought about the fence being broken. It’s holding up well. And the yard? Humiliations Galore! Instead, I’m trying to avoid that, so it’s pretty short. And Virgil? Sometimes I wonder if you send him. I haven’t thought for a while he’s reincarnated. There are more reasons to shout praises. so that I’m not disappointed saying, “B wouldn’t do that.” But your grandparents… Hell! What about today, as in your Thursday? This is the worst day —at least, day job-wise. You know. As long as Virgil isn’t crying Wednesday and I ignore him, then… Am I thinking of joining you? Gratitude. B Thankful For Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad