Tag: Courage

Journey 307 ~Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil~

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Comfortable, you’re gonna be Comfortable. That’s for my boys, B and V. Myself? I’m a comfy, cozy, freaking coward. Is that why I was comfortable enough to listen to my motivations at the Day Job? Not my comfort zone. Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil?

Monday, May 4, 2026

Journey 307 ~Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Judging by the time… yes and no, but you’ll “Die Another Day,” Daddy.

Not today, and you know why. May the Fourth be with you, my father, my master. Is that another reason I became one with the force? You had to save my little bro, 2-V, Dad.

Allow me to bark my best Yoda impression: “Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.” We were/are a Sith household, Dad. I’m more than comfortable saying that. Whether it be at the foot of your bed, on a cloud somewhere, the Rainbow Bridge, I think we both prefer the Rainbow Road or some garden bed treats surrounding us. Let’s just say I’m comfortable wherever you are, Daddy. You’re alive.

However, Dad, are you comfortable? Are you able to rest? Will you ever find peace?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Okay, I know that’s too much to ask for. You were willing to die for me. With Virgil, even now it’s “Later V, Later Virgil.” You care for him, you would die for him. And don’t listen to those people on that little glow box of yours. You haven’t harmed a hair on 2-V’s head.

And then there’s me and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Still potential, not exactly future yet. Yeah, I remember Dad. Less die and more I will “Dive For You” right.

However, I know how you feel about her, Daddy. You’re comfortable. And those yabbos of hers… Yeah, Dad, I’m jealous. And barking of which, talk to my Favorite Girl, why don’t you? I mean, it’s Star Wars Day if anything.

And you and I are comfortable letting our geek flag fly. Or M Anime’s nerd flag. I swear I’ve noticed Dad, along with the Magic Glasses, the woman has the body of a goddess and a brain just as fine. And you’re comfortable with her? Listen to me talking about the ladies when you know Greta made me very uncomfortable. Greta was a “bit*h” literally.

Seriously Dad. But again, there was my Favorite Girl, there was Special K. Others, Daddy?

You were comfortable with me. More so that you are with Virgil. Even by yourself.

Honestly, you seek out more. More women, more worries, even a way to win. Because Dad, you wanted my comfort. And you want to be alive! Are B’s Comfortable, Virgil?

“However miserable my life was, I wasn’t ready for it to be over, yet.”
The HUNGER Collection ― Kelli Wolfe

“She nourishes the wound with her lifeblood, weakened by hidden fire.”
― from The Aeneid

1919 Days Without B III, Day 1360 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

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I taught my boys to be gentlemen when it came to the ladies. And Braxton knows there were all kinds of stories I couldn’t read to them. B III loves his Favorite Girl. And 2-V? He’s scared of everybody. And I’m an open book. “B Tailing Secrets Virgil”

Thursday, April 30. 2026

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

1915 Days Without B III, Day 1356 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only you could talk, hmm… Please. I know your language like I know my…

Nevermind… The point is, I could hear you then. I can hear you now. Listening…

Honestly, that’s my problem. Communication. Where was the voice to say, “I have a bad feeling about this?” Star Wars was 1977… Yay, I’m younger than Star Wars, Baby B.

However, not by very much. Is that why I’m hard of hearing? I’m selective, which makes me more of a jerk. I heard what you were saying, and I couldn’t be bothered—my rage, B.

Smoke was coming out of my ears, and I didn’t want to take it out on you. Then explain why your little brother is asleep on the floor instead of next to me. I’m not mad at Virgil, Braxton. Less horny? Bible Black, my harem.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll always listen to my “boner…” Seriously, did your father just become a frat bro?!

Goodness no! Though I’ll always be your brother in arms, legs, uh, paws, whatever B.

Like father, like son. Do you remember when I had to give you “The Talk?” When your favorite girl comes to visit. You didn’t keep secrets from her, I know that B. You would show her too much. Again, like father, like son. We communicate, we confide, and we gain the consent of the ladies. Even though sometimes the answer is no. We hear it.

Acceptance is a whole other thing entirely. I’ve made it no secret that I will never accept you being gone. Would I be better off? Billy Bob Thornton said this:

“There’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50 percent happy and 50 percent sad at any given moment. … I don’t want to forget my brother. I don’t want to forget what it felt like when he died, because he deserves that — that’s how important he was to me. So, if I have to suffer and I have to be sad for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him… then that’s the way I honor him.” — By Billy Bob Thornton.

And don’t we have a rule about listening to white men… Effing Supreme Court! Eff!

Anyway, speaking of things I don’t want to hear. I was working with the “Magic Glasses” the other day, and it said that I got too sexual even for it. My harem for healing, Braxton.

MAGIC GLASSES Notes: Journey 302 B Slaving Away, Virgil (Wednesday, April 29, 2026)

[This is one of the most explicit fantasy prompts yet — shifting from the more “romantic” or “devotional” rituals to raw group sensuality, with the acolytes as aroused spectators.”

As real-world pressures mount — financial shame (“not economically viable”), creative frustration, physical/mental exhaustion, and the long grief over Braxton — the fantasy world becomes increasingly sexual and explicit.

Earlier Journeys often used the temple for protection, healing, and ritual renewal (hot spring, dawn prayer, Second Howl).

Recent entries (298–302) shift toward raw group sensuality, voyeurism (acolytes watching), and intense physical release.

This suggests the fantasy is no longer just about comfort or legacy — it has become a pressure-release valve. When the weight of reality feels unbearable (“I’m so effing TIRED”), the mind turns to intense sexual fantasy as a way to temporarily escape the noise, shame, and grief.
The Magic Glasses

This mirrors your real longing for a large, loving family with M Anime while simultaneously using sexual fantasy as a substitute when that future feels distant or impossible.

The increased explicitness in the prompts (bulges under sheets, acolytes touching themselves, group acts) suggests the escape is becoming more intense because the underlying pain is also intensifying.

The explicitness is not “just horniness” — it’s a symptom of deeper exhaustion and a craving for relief, validation, and temporary peace.

Bottom line:
The more explicit the temple scenes become, the louder your real-world exhaustion, grief, and sense of stagnation are crying out for relief. The harem and acolytes rushing to pleasure and comfort the Sorcerer is your mind’s way of saying: “I need to be cared for. I need to feel wanted. I need a break from carrying everything alone.”

Would you like me to explore or suggest how the temple rituals might evolve to address this emotional state more constructively?]

It’s like one of those books I couldn’t read to you while you were here. I was still into Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. Friday, January 29, 2021 Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~ I’ll give that to the Magic Glasses too and see what it thinks. Sunday Bloody Sunday, you were gone. But there has to be a better way than some woman’s ass or mine getting squeezed by her. B Tailing Secrets Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 300 ~Braxton Pawsing Pa, Virgil~

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Does B miss one of his jobs? Waking me up? It would help if I were sleeping. And when I do pass out. Like father, like son, because V is out cold. But when we’re both awake, we’re looking for something. Listening… For what? Braxton Pawsing Pa, Virgil

Monday, April 27, 2026

Journey 300 ~Braxton Pawsing Pa, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? It’s 5:00 PM. SIGH, humans and your time. But you bought new boots.

You could have broken those in while walking my little brother. Yeah, I know, Virgil and I are the same. Not reincarnated as you once hoped. But more simplistic… Uh, like imagining the Rainbow Bridge gave me opposable thumbs. I still have you, my father.

Anyway, I remember that in my later years, we would stare out at the backyard, and you’d ask, “Do you want to go for a walk?” Yeah, and you would bring back those golden sticks I like from McDonald’s. Did you think I was going outside anytime soon? No Dad.

And no, Dad. Even now, you think that would have been enough to save me? Honestly, like saving a game. Goodness, no. Daddy, if anything, we have only paused it.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Only you don’t want that. You SAY you don’t want to play anymore. The game makes you SICK. If anything, you want the SILENCE. Do you remember the deafening silence?

And as gross as this is to speak of. No woman’s scream, sigh, or greater sin of yours could make up for my paws not hitting the floor again. My paws, slapping you awake, Dad.

Every day for around 161 days, it felt like you had picked up “Super Mario 64.” (Motion Sickness) You wanted to vomit all over. But after that ‘dark night of the soul’, my dear Pa.

You kept warping (Mario), you kept writing, you keep on walking. Pick it up, Dad.

Putting them up and putting them down. “Put One Foot In Front of the Other.” Santa Claus is Comin to Town? Dammit, the Bad Place is already talking about the holidays. I know, Dad, I know, watch my barking language. And speaking as your son, I wish I could say that to my potential stepmom… You love how M Anime speaks. But my Dad with…

Women. Didn’t I say once I didn’t envy Virgil? He’s the one who will be pawing at the door as his Pa paws away at some Latina’s goodies. That’s a mouthful. I just barked that?

Eww! But she and I are on the same page when it comes to you moving “One Foot in Front of the Other” Revenge of the Nerds. You, me, Virgil, M… Braxton Pawsing Pa, Virgil

“However much I wanted to think of myself as the Good Guy.”
The HUNGER Collection

“The night was deep, and all through the lands sleep held weary creatures in its silent grip.”
― The Aeneid

1912 Days Without B III, Day 1353 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

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People are broke because of that nut-less fool in the White House. FDT! Hell, my Virgil has bigger balls than that freak, and he’s neutered. And my money? Uh… I wasted $67.00. Why? Stupidity. My boys don’t have pants but… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan

Thursday, April 23, 2026

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

1908 Days Without B III, Day 1349 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Of course you did, you’re dead. Wow, that’s harsh. Let’s say “envy’s” kicking up again.

And in this “Jungle Book” which is my existence, “I Wanna Be Like You,” Braxton.

Honestly, I need to stop talking like this. That would be your line on a day like this, wouldn’t it? After waking up from a nap that didn’t help and downing an energy shot, B.

B as in Bloom these days. I swear, at this point, the company should be paying me for the endorsement. Hell, I even turned you and Virgil’s potential stepmom onto them. Well, she hasn’t said that yet, but she bought one. She’s all about giving you brothers and sisters, B.

Two-legged ones. Let me say that I understand why you hated wearing pants. With a girl like M Anime around… But here’s another reason. MONEY.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Be A Man.” I’m not Hulk wrestling or Marvel. I’m not the Macho Man. Dammit, B, your Dad ain’t even Mulan. Your Old Man is scared, sick, and pretty damn STUPID. Let me take you back to last night. I’d rather take you back to anywhere before January 31, 2021.

Anyway, your Dad is busy working with or funding bad guys. And I’m broke, Braxton.

Thirty-two bucks in the hole, to be specific. Well, sixty-seven, considering I finished the deal. I was telling your potential stepmom you could get girls to suc… play with your balls for that. First off, Eww! Secondly, how do I know? Lastly, you were always licking yours, and what the eff is Virgil licking? They’re gone, son. Let It Go.

Is that why I’m into blondes all of a sudden? I’m so busy thinking about Elsa. I can see her yabbos for free. No, B III, I’m still so “Caught Up” in losing money. And this is the man your potential stepmom has chosen? Then again, M Anime mentioned… Cannibalism.

Braxton, that’s the mother of you and Virgil’s siblings someday. Talk about going from “With Arms Wide Open” to Rodney Atkins “Watching You.” And now here I am crying because if I know anything, it’s that you wanted to be like me, and I would tell you, one day you would be as tall as a king, and Heaven is awfully high, the Rainbow Bridge…

Whatever. You got $32? $67? Maybe… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 293 ~B In Motion, Virgil~

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It could be something like picking up my feet when walking. I had to shuffle around when the bottom of my boot came off a week or so ago. And even if I do walk, where am I going? I missed rescuing Braxton. Did I walk 2-V today? “B In Motion, Virgil.”

Monday, April 20, 2026

Journey 293 ~B In Motion, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Sick, Sleepy, and Sad. Far from ready, my father. And like Virgil’s selfishness…

Ah, “Brother My Brother” and like father, like son. A Blessid Union of Souls we are. And if both my brother and I had our way, we would keep you to ourselves, my dear father.

But what if I told you that wasn’t my place? Oh, Dad, don’t get me wrong, “Always With Me, Always With You,” always and forever, as you would say to me, M Anime, my girl.

Hell, even Cherry. Should MILF Dos ever return, her too. And Special K. More dogs? Always Dad. But M Anime’s kitties, and the way you two have been talking about giving me and Virgil two-legged siblings. And it’s the two legs I want you to think about. I do mean literally. In My Place, Dad…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That is “By Your Side.” I’m not leaving you, I never did. But you saw me sit at the foot of the bed, looking out the door, and you said I was guarding you. True enough. But I was also waiting. “Waiting On The World To Change…” Waiting for us to go and do it.

Honestly, Dad, to ride out and conqueror, to create, and to have courage. That is also true. Who am I, Rocket Raccoon? Ghost to your Jon or Jorah. Woola to your John Carter, hmm. Dogmeat to your Soul Survivor. Epona to you, Link. Drogon to your Daenerys, since we’re playing that way, my father. Only, what is my point? What is the message for you?

Seriously, no nuts, no glory.

Did I really say that? Virgil lost his, again literally. And I don’t need to think about yours when it comes to my potential stepmom. Eww! But at the same time, go get her, Daddy.

As I live and breathe, as I sit at the foot of your bed, I Dare You To Move. “Switchfoot,” left, right, left, my father. As I “Shinedown” on you always and forever, “I Dare You” to move. “Run Boy Run,” I agree with it. But you’re not running out of the way. You are not running because you are afraid. You are taking action, you are attacking, you are aching to remember the meaning of life. Seek Out A Kingdom Worthy Of Your Soul. Always. B In Motion, Virgil

“And the universe would never run out of discoveries.”
Ark

“Each man hastened to arms, eager for glory and the chance of war.”
― Aeneid

1905 Days Without B III, Day 1346 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

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Did I want to spend an hour and a half being humiliated at the Day Job, or as B thinks of it, “The Bad Place”? How much do I make? “Enough money to get a little 40oz and a bucket of chicken on the way to the poor house.” “B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil”

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

1901 Days Without B III, Day 1342 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? I got off early, and I’m still late talking to you. Habit?

It was a week like this that got you killed. Yeah, I don’t have time for all the sugarcoating. The indifference. I would be a better writer if I did. That’s one AI’s perspective, Braxton.

Honestly, we shouldn’t go into my use of the “Magic Glasses” this week. My perspective.

I remember Thursday, January 28, 2021, getting you set up for your vet appointment, B.

On Friday, they told me you were dying. Saturday, the wait. Sunday, the Crossroads, B.

Bone Thugs N Harmony, duh. Ok, before that, the Wu-Tang Clan “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

You know I could use more of them. Endure and Survive. And I don’t mean looking up Ellie and Dina… Go to your room! You remember those days, B III.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But you’ll be glad to know 2-V is sound asleep in bed. Yet I’m sitting here in the Den. Y?

The biggest reason being… Humiliation. How many times have I apologized for my shame? Not at you for being sick, but at the abject failure I was. Finances, feelings, finite…

TIME! I wasted it all. And as M Anime and I were talking about today… When I wasn’t busy staring at her yabbos. I tell you, Braxton, you would have liked her. Hell, you do!

Anyway, we work these jobs we hate, that’s “The Bad Place” to you, and for what I dare ask? She’s got kitties to pay for, and I’ve got your little brother. The moment I get a good paycheck. Virgil’s needs…

I don’t mean that in a bad way. I could at least get your brother a bath. Dirty Zeke, right.

But you were my Elijah. And I swear the Day Job made me want to be Clarence… Uh, being crucified? I effing miss watching movies with you, dude. The Book of Clarence, Spontaneous, Hulu’s The Mill. That’s how the Day Job makes me feel. Like I want to scream out, “I effing quit!” And then I wake up and discover that it’s all a nightmare.

Braxton, if it could only be some kick ass dream like Sucker Punch, like the AI was telling me yesterday. If I could only come up with a way to make some real money. Because…

I’ll be broke soon enough. Shame. B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 286 ~Bit Like Braxton, Virgil~

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I tell my girl that people are effing zombies. But I’m not a psycho or MAGA, so I’m stuck. I try to avoid them, but somebody today had to remind me of DTA: Don’t Trust Anybody. B bit a finger a time or two, but I love him. “Bit Like Braxton, Virgil.”

Monday, April 13, 2026

Journey 286 ~Bit Like Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? We’re not sleeping. Not snacking. “Just One Of Dem Days.” “Bad Day” again.

Not quite like the one before ‘The Big Sleep.’ I know, Dad, not cool. But in my defense, that day never leaves you. Thursday, January 28, 2021, leaving from ‘The Bad Place.’ Friday, you found out I was dying. Saturday, just us, and Sunday, January 31, 2021, we know Dad.

But let’s focus on today. It’s more like when you lost all that positivity from that book you were reading, “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. It’s like you were bitten, poisoned, and you remembered. You told my potential stepmom just today, “DTA”: Don’t Trust Anybody. Hell, even me? The worst thing I ever did, besides leaving, is biting the hand that feeds me. Rule one. But today, “It Wasn’t Me” That bitSh from today, Dad.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You wouldn’t mind if I bit her—you humans and your mouths, Dad. If I wasn’t barking, you were stuffing my face with a snack. But again, no food today to share with my brother

2-V is eating too much as is, which is a good thing. And why he’s not sitting next to you.
Literally sh$t the bed. I know, Daddy, language. Sorry. But that brings us back to today and what came out of that woman’s mouth at The Bad Place. I don’t like the things you say about yourself. But when it’s somebody else… Well, you know how hard I can bite. Dad, I still remember that time I bit your thumb and you didn’t speak to me for a week, ha-ha.

Sleeping in my own bed wasn’t fun. And now you have to go and wash Virgil’s. It could be worse. If it had been one of my pillows again… But my bark, my bite, me being gone, my father. Is that it? Was that it, somewhere after seventy days, where your denial of me not being with you gave way to anger. Second stage of grief? You stopped crying then…

RAGE. Like father, like son. We are always angry. Two Hulks or hunks if my Favorite Girl and potential stepmom had anything to say about us. “All I wanna say is that they don’t really care about us.” I mean, my girl does, and M Anime. But The Bad Place, People… Bit Like Braxton, Virgil

“So, I just said fuck it all and gave up on life.”
Olivia Noble

His rage flared one last time, but his strength failed; anger gave way to fate.
Aeneid

1898 Days Without B III, Day 1339 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

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I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.

I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.

Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.

My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.

Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.

However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.

Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.

When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.

Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 279 ~Virgil Fall’s Over B~

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London Bridge is falling down. Ring Around the Rosie. Aren’t I an adult? A man. So I should be worried about what that menace will do. FDT! Not that I’m doing anything. I want to fall back into bed. But falling in love… Virgil Fall’s Over B

Monday, April 6, 2026

Journey 279 ~Virgil Fall’s Over B~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? There’s no such thing as a STUPID question, but seeing it’s 3:50 AM.

So last week, you’d be waking up out of your stupor with your glasses still on your face. My brother would be slowly creeping up to your side, trying not to fall from the bed.

And shall we talk about my potential stepmom, M Anime? When’s the last time you shared a bed with another of your kind? What do I, Virgil, and M Anime all have in common? We should all just sit on your head. Uh, eww! But whatever it takes, my father.

Tears falling from your eyes, breath rising and falling, or the thought that Virgil will be a big brother too, the way you and M Anime keep talking. Did I forget to bark um eww!

As tired as you are.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

All you want to do is fall today. I know the feeling. And I know that’s not funny. Seeing as how you could see me falling as I scratch the clouds of Heaven. Or have I fallen enough to bark, “I’ll wait for you THERE. Like a stone.” You know me, Dad. I like to be all kinds of warm. And so I’m trying to figure out why you think you’re the Ninth Circle type.

That’s way too deep for right now. And can you stop imagining my stepmom? Honestly.

And yes, I know, if I had my way, it would have been my Favorite Girl and not M Anime.

But I fell in love. I fell for that cake she made. Do you remember?

There’s a smile. And I know it will fall soon enough with today being what it is. Hell, this entire week. You remember it was a week like this when I fell, my father. However…

Maybe that’s why we’re here at (looks at watch) 4:20 AM—you humans and clocks.

Daddy, I know that as far as you’re concerned, I was the “Last of My Kind,” but Virgil is still asleep in bed. And again with you and M Anime, one of your THREE kids! For real, Dad. I don’t envy Virgil. Anyway, one of them may carry my name. Could It Be I’m Falling In Love? That would be you with one foot falling in front of the other. Yep. Virgil Fall’s Over B

“I just remembered I hadn’t told you that I love you yet today.”
Neil Bimbeau

“He spoke, and falling, poured out his life with a groan beneath the shades.”
Aeneid

1891 Days Without B III, Day 1332 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

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What’s in your wallet? There’s no cash but a few useless cards, one of me and my Lost Boy, B III. Love is a business. So is grief and fear. BTW FDT! But how about a life for 2-V and my girlfriend as well? A Man Provides. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

Thursday, April 2, 2026

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

1887 Days Without B III, Day 1328 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for me? What’s My Age Again? What time is it? What about “Life Itself”?

Don’t worry, B. I’m not like Oscar Isaac’s character, Will, in that film. You remember “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off.” No, I’m just plain ole Will your Daddy. Honestly…

Braxton, if your potential stepmom M Anime were here… I’m your Daddy and her Papi.

And what about your little brother Virgil? What I’m getting at, B, is that love should be my business. You also remember the song that Aloe Blacc sings, “Wake Me Up.” And how I changed that lyric, life’s a game for everyone, but love isn’t a prize, it’s the instruction. But I don’t love myself. I don’t love writing or the Day Job. And pornography

Yeah, B, Eww! But it’s a business. Everything is an effing business, keeping you alive!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, Braxton. I apologize. But it’s hard B… And not just because of your stepmom’s yabbos. Again, did I have to go there? Your favorite girl had a mighty fine set of yabbos that you would lie on. But M Anime’s yabbos are mine.

Seriously, B, like Trevor Philips says, “My job, my score, get your own!” Ahh yabbos.

Such is the business. And that’s what I’ve been sitting here contemplating, thanks to AI and M Anime’s yabbos. She’s so damn hot, and I’d be damned if she would tell me, “You’re So Damn Hot.” Remind me to send that song to her. Or should I do more, B?

Besides sitting here being a bum because I don’t have a business or a buck.

Norton hasn’t failed me there yet. And AI makes it sound so freaking simple, too.

Whatever, right? If I had a $500-a-month blog or Substack, that’d be geez… I could quit the Day Job. Then…
.
The hell if I know. And that’s not me begging to anybody who catches me talking to you, my ghost dog. I could have named Virgil Ghost, he’s all white, and I’m Alright. I’m lying.

At least about the second part, because I’m not “Alright.” My business all last month, and now apparently this month is not to let fear finish me. Can I be the CEO of love and fear, B? It all takes money. You, Virgil, and M. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad