Log 129 ~A Tease Of Will~

Didn’t I talk about “Yabbos” last week, and here I am teasing myself to the point of madness this one or more the idea of them, though if you ask PornHub, a part of me likes something entirely different. A Tease Of Will.

Thursday, November 7, 2019

Log 129 ~A Tease Of Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it sounds so much better than Millionaire. You know what word is annoying me today, though, TEASE. No, I’m not calling you that Dirty Diana, but you know I call women so much worse sometimes. Not in my novel, The “Wrist” of Playing Cronus, and it’s still so HARD. It’s only been twenty-four hours, and I’ve seen two naked models and talked to an escort. What about my model search, hell one more novel in the works. I still have to publish GULP, which requires reading and speaking of words I’m starting to hate:

Will’s Hated Words

  1. Skeevy
  2. Stupid
  3. Merge
  4. Happy
  5. Tease
  6. Freak

Sooner or later, I’ll have a top-ten, and should a writer hate any words at all? I was talking to Cherry today, and she’s a big fan of that movie, Lolita. Now that’s a dangerous word and why, longwinded book, a decent film, classic. What else can I say about it, Dirty Diana? So is the idea of legalized Sex Work; now did I mean for today to sound a bit political? I’m trying not to tease myself, which might explain why The “Wrist” of Playing Cronus is so tricky. If I were only writing a book for myself, it would be something else entirely. Who am I writing this book for then? I remember when I was in the shower, and I would moan about “Dirty Mom Tits” can you guess who I was talking about, hmm? For the record Breasts, Boobs, Milk Jugs, Dirty Pillows (yes, I’m a Carrie fan). Tits or titties might be one of my favorite words and images, DROOLS.

There are so many things I can’t say in The “Wrist” of Playing Cronus. Yes, I’m going to keep repeating that title until it turns me on. So am I saying it doesn’t right now; I’ve already named a bunch of the “muses” I’ve chosen so far. Funny for a man being so into breasts, none of the girls are true titans in that aspect minus the Hentai ones. Oh, and that’s another one, speaking of girls as opposed to women. Now that is a road I don’t want to travel down today. The last thing would have to be music. Anna Vlasova, aka Alissa, is helping with that, stripping in Marvel Charm, I’ll say.

Stopping A Tease Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 122 ~Will Haunts The Racks~

Yabbos sounds like a brand of candy, but any Hocus Pocus fans might get upset because they know what I’m talking about; still, there are so many masks tonight, and we all know what some use Halloween for right? “Will Haunts The Racks.”

Thursday, October 31, 2019

Log 122 ~Will Haunts The Racks~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana
I AM a Billionaire right now, and there’s no such thing as too many bucks, bears, or breasts. Can you consider it sacrilege that there is not one piece of candy in this house? I’m all out of sour gummy bears, and if kids came ringing, well I wouldn’t hear them anyway. The doorbell doesn’t work, my right ear is all screwy, and here’s one more B for you, I have a brain. Between NaNoWriMo, Norton, and Nuts, there is too much going on this Halloween.

Well, Dirty Diana, that’s part of the reason I’m not still downloading “covered Yabbos” there’s so much to go over. Hell, there’s never enough bucks for sexy Yabbos; not a Hocus Pocus Fan? Not a bad movie but something I didn’t need to know about it was Thora Birch. Now given my proclivity to witches and no I refuse to show you “those” witchy pictures. Anyway, you remember how I stared at Thora Birch when she grew up for American Beauty? Now those ladies and gentlemen were incredible breasts. It must be the same for people who watched Arya Stark played by Maisie Williams growing up. I remember General Hospital. Once Sabrina dressed up in a pink frilly nightgown with pigtails. Next, you see little Emma in the same outfit, so yeah, that fantasy is forever ruined. What about Cherry, SIGH. The beat goes on.

You’re asking me on today of all days it is All Hallows’ Eve mind you. Why aren’t I talking about masks, faces, horror? What’s scarier than a truck driver wearing a tutu, with a dildo up his ass? What, some books stick with you and Dennis Hof was quite descriptive. Thursdays I’m supposed to “be myself,” and for now that’s a man who likes boobs. Don’t ask me why and don’t be racist, saying I should choose asses, though I get it, closer to the goal. One more thing I should be planning on, that 50,000-word goal, and I couldn’t get it up to go outside. Now Yabbos do that for me, no doubt. I wasn’t thinking about Thora Birch’s boobs in The Walking Dead but Cassady McClincy, aka Lydia? Yes, I looked up her age “safety.” There are lots of slutty costumes tonight. You know how I’m one for cosplay, cash, and maybe I’ll close my mouth, send candy.

Only Will Haunts The Racks.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 115 ~The Forbidden Dance Will~

I can remember when I use to dance, my feet had more time back then, but between crawling at work, walking my Firstborn, and trying to run the world from every angle well, the heart of rock and roll is still beating. “The Forbidden Dance Will,” right

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Log 115 ~The Forbidden Dance Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I will take dance lessons at some point. SIGH already, this is supposed to be a fun day, but of course, as the song goes, MEMORIES. The last time I danced at a wedding? It was my aunt’s. Yeah, I was much too young to be thinking about girls at that point. My next significant dance memory was freezing still. That’s when some girl was Twerking in my face at my grandparent’s house. My memories don’t mesh with It’s A Southern Thing but Talia Lin, cue Homer Simpson drooling.

Before I lose myself to pity, okay, I’m thinking about Indiana Gone’s wedding, of course. Dear Dirty Diana, I wanted to dance, that’s the “gospel” truth. Only my body would not let me go down that road but 1,500 miles sure. Still ten feet, hell, what about two? I’ve told you fantasies I’ve had, but what about that promise I made? I told myself I would stop the car and dance with my girl to “Drunk On You.” No, I was more inclined to only look it up on Spotify. I should focus on another type of dancing. Only what about that number from Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do” so beautiful. What about Final Fantasy VIII, the graduation dance? All this is coming from a guy that wants to shoot porn. I can’t dance like no one’s watching. The worst thing ever, maybe?

She wasn’t exactly asking for the Lambada, Dirty Diana. I talk about how brave I was to show up, and my feet were doing all kinds of dancing. I’m a practicing dominant. I want a girl dancing to my music and nothing else. My voice should be enough for them. You know I’m not one for leather but chains, whips, and lingerie to keep a woman from running away. Now, doesn’t that sound a bit creepy or what’s that other word I almost forgot, hmm?

The List:

  1. Skeevy
  2. Stupid
  3. Merge
  4. Happy

Dancing, to me, is somewhat like laughter. I can laugh, but more often than not, it hurts me though I LOL with the best. I find myself wanting to dance at work, but I’ll do anything to keep from crying. Still, I have nothing against strippers, asses are good, but I’m a breast man. So why couldn’t I have happiness?

It’s The Forbidden Dance Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 108 ~When Will, Will Come~

Well, I certainly have been putting my car through its paces, and I have been moving pretty fast in that regard, but today, and tonight for that matter as Romeo put it sad hours seem long, but he was talking about a woman. “When Will, Will Come”

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Log 108 ~When Will, Will Come~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana
I AM a Billionaire right now, but it can’t patch the hole in my heart. Speaking of patching holes SIGH, you’ll have to excuse me for not feeling sexier this evening. Anyway, I wouldn’t mind a woman asking me that question, when will I come. Wait, don’t I have a woman asking me that question? Well, she’s spoken for or will be in a couple of days. The thing is, though, what I did today was harder than yesterday. Wednesday scared the crap out of me, but today it only hurts.

I’m talking about my heart for once and not a case of Blue Balls. Hell, Dennis Hof was loving so many women but loved his dog Domino more than any of them. Half a million for a dog, and my Firstborn has two bottles of meds. He also has five packs of food and his favorite toy. Right now, as the song goes, “And everyday I wake up, with a naked lady” but right now, yeah, I’m soft. A single father with only my little boy, I do remember a time I was a hopeless romantic. You know I’m a true believer in the living dead? Count Jesus, and you might consider me a Christian. When’s the last time I’ve been in a church anyway. Let’s not talk about some of the fantasies I once imagined. Did I say that on a Thursday, this is all about fucking sexual ideology? I don’t even watch my language today; it’s my day.

In truth, I’ll be glad when it’s all over. Indiana Gone “The Bride” was telling me about the work she was doing. I said weddings are work, but they should be fun. Imagine what a wreck I’ll be when I meet some girl. She’s out there, somewhere. Indiana Gone asked when she’ll attend my wedding, and I said, “when the dead walk the earth.” Yeah, I’ll meet my Maggie, my Enid, the dream is Alicia. Such names would usually get me hard. If I wanted to come, I could think of a million different reasons. The only coming I’m doing, though, is a wedding, a dog hotel, and all the fears that await me tomorrow morning. You could tell me I could fuck any woman, but I would only want to get back to here.

Now I’m sitting alone, others asking, When Will. Will Come?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 040 ~Will And The Labyrinth~

My life isn’t as interesting as Labyrinth and no way as sexy as “The V Game Series;” it’s only me against the wall continually smashing my head against it, and I’ll break before my Facebook Wall but then again? “Will And The Labyrinth”

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Log 040 ~Will And The Labyrinth~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now; can’t you see? Isn’t it ironic that it’s what I want everyone to know? Still these days the people that are looking at all. It’s the people who are making me out to be a clown. Besides Facebook, somebody attempted another hack last night. Those are the scariest, but the worst is from my son, my nephew, hell the man in the mirror. How I talk to myself all the time but please don’t let me be walking by a mirror and see myself, that’s terrifying.

I finished that book Beauty in the Broken by Charmaine Pauls yesterday. My life though feels a lot like something out of The V Games Series though. It’s a maze, and I’m fighting while everyone watches. I’m waiting to see which one of my sins is exposed first? What about people, running into my sister a few days ago. I go to the same restaurant for some reason feeling an obligation. Don’t get me started about September. I’m not a man of my word. October, of course, is “Indiana Gone’s” wedding. I’ll have to put my trust in someone to watch my kid. Dammit, I don’t even like saying his name anymore. The things I love are often weapons against me, that quickly. Sometimes I only want to disappear. Do I sound suicidal again, Lu?

I’m trying Lady Lu. I’m trying so hard to find other ways. It can’t be porn anymore; you saw how fast I gave in days ago. Even now thank you Instagram I found out about St. Mackenzie’s (School For Girls). It’s the things that bring us the closest to death that somehow grant life. The question is, how close do you want to get to such. Again last night, I started a new game, “Heavy Rain.” I feel so much better watching and playing than doing anything real. There was also the fact that I thought my PS4 had problems. I was looking at how I’m going to get to Indiana Gone’s wedding, a little vacay perhaps? At this rate, I’m giving out to much information you think. Everyone is looking, or one. Could be a damn robot wanting to send everything tumbling down whenever.

The only way I’m getting over these walls is a ton of cash. And not bouncing on boobs or watching them: Will And The Labyrinth.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 223 ~Stand At Attention Will~

Honestly, I did not think I was going here today, more like little head instead of the big head, but what about a furry one, I should go to “PetSmart” more on Sundays no doubt, but I have my son, and I stand by him. Stand At Attention Will.

Saturday, February 9, 2019

Episode 223 ~Stand At Attention Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become the Secretary of Defense; believe it or not, there was a time in my life Lady Lu that I said those words out loud, I also wanted to be a war correspondent and as you recall I did a brief stint in the Navy. The words are Military Bearing; do you know why I tend to make all these “personalities” female save for one; I don’t think in my life there has been one man in my environment that I have honestly respected, on a personal level I will say.

Today I was at PetSmart picking up B III’s meds, and they had an adoption thing, and I saw the cutest little dog; this furbaby was a few inches taller than my son. Oh to let dear Trible B have a few years taken back on him, return to puppy form I’d give him a sibling. My father never taught me about how to be a man, he threatened to kill me before going into the military, I thought maybe they would educate me, but I left, one uncle cheated on his wife, another married in and murdered my mom’s sister. Never met my great grandfather’s, paternal granddad wasn’t there, maternal grandfather got divorced, another uncle shot and can’t stand, one more not indeed an uncle, don’t know him, or my older half-brother, “father” beat my mother too you know.

Okay so back to B III and as I stood there, a bag full of over a hundred pills, over three months that I wouldn’t hesitate to buy again and I saw this other dog that needs a home, a family and if my little one wasn’t so old, ornery, and obstinate… Anyway so I’m driving, and I’m listening to my motivations, talking about not letting the past control you and I think of how I am and my son and our future, and there it is his obituary coming to mind. Everything I want to say to him, that it has been my honor and privilege to be his father, that if I have a chance in Hell of getting to Heaven, it will be but a word from him, and that I’m sorry I failed him. No mother, no two-legged siblings to protect, I didn’t give him the home that he ever deserved.

I’ve said before I owe Will Smith my life and as far as my “father” a man must look after his family but it was my little boy, who is a greater man than I could have possibly hoped to raise, who taught me about love, life, even lungs as I watch him breathe and I can. I love him like pancakes I always say because I couldn’t love him more if I poured the “Bisquick” and we have walked together, fought, lived and if there is any man I honestly do respect and would follow it’s my son, pathetic huh but not father, flag, or female has gotten so much; Stand At Attention Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 343 ~Live Every Day Like~

How can I live without you, before anyone gets vain I am talking about you Lady Luna, I did get a lot more sleep, some would have called it depression, better out that in which is why I’ll tell you all about it, every day. “Live Every Day Like?”

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Lesson 343 ~Live Every Day Like~

Hey Lady Lu,
Can You Love Me Again, like the day I first created you or the day I brought you back to life… desperation and that is something I need to get over and fast because these past few days it’s been like I’m begging to live. In a way what wouldn’t I give to feel that way again, like the day I told “Okay” about, my senior year, homecoming pep rally, that was a day of freedom, a day I didn’t have to live, but there was life.

I read something the other day that said, live every day like it’s your first and there are several ways one can interpret that, for example, it’s a day where everything is new and yet there is no fear. As with my rules, it’s a day that you learn something new, and honestly, I do Lady Luna, for everything that school taught me my greatest lesson was on how to be afraid. How about the fact that I think everyone knows me but they don’t I can be whoever I want to be, my identity has yet to know formation, (oh and Beyonce sucks) and I don’t have to remind myself of all the shit.

On the other side of the coin, live every day like it’s your last, again something I spoke to “Okay” about, what if I knew the day I would die, hell don’t I live thinking the end of the world is coming or like any kid in a rush to get his homework done? I know how she sees me and that says I should live as though I will never see her again, a man has to know when to walk away, and there is so much I have left to do, like every day I’m writing. Maybe I should live like I don’t need to write but want to write and I am back at the table, I did work on my poetry, but it’s more to the fact I’m trying to stay alive instead of living life.

As with most Americans, I live for my payday, and you know how the day job is, I live for the day it’s my writing that provides and do I truly believe that will ever come to pass at this rate? I live for the day I can finally get “Detroit: Become Human” and a “PlayStation 4” did you think I had forgotten Lady Luna, though today I would like to live as though I have forgotten, live unafraid, but no Live Every Day Like

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 336 ~Today’s Word Is ‘ Discombobulated’~

Is there a more confusing word than love, trust me other than taking care of the dog I have only known confusion, beginning and endings, and a desire to play one video game if you’re keeping track. Today’s word Is Discombobulated.

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Lesson 336 ~Today’s Word Is ‘ Discombobulated’~

Hey Lady Lu,
Can You Love Me Again, hell that’s all you’ve been doing, you and your friends, since I got back into writing, maybe I should ask can I love you again and even now that word escapes me. Less than a month to see and I ask myself have I found any new loves, do I feel any better? I know I’ve had some good days, but I still feel so out of it lately, and of course, I should, work nearly killed me or dare I say, people, real and fiction.

Being torn apart by two worlds, what other word is there but Discombobulated, disconnected, unbalanced, thrown into confusion, perhaps fear gets a bad rap because I can always point out what makes me afraid. Nowadays when I’m not wasting time, I’m like MacGregor on the Colony, creating conspiracy after conspiracy some right on the money, others downright idiotic. Maybe I am going crazy or crazier, still making moves on one woman, while getting made fun of by some girl, and even thinking I’m living with a poltergeist, with a taste for Mr. Goodbars and Pop Tarts, amongst other things honestly.

I can’t get “Detroit: Become Human” off of the brain, I know I’ve probably failed most of my six impossible things, and at this rate, I won’t be getting paid the week after next, my damn day job. It could all be stress, and the method I usually employ to alleviate that stress is off-limits and would leave me depressed anyway, another two words, being pent up wanting to do something and then again wanting to climb into my bed, Bipolar. A part of me wants to dive into “The Art Of Peace,” but I have more stuff to read that isn’t helping the whole hiatus I have going on, but sex is everywhere Luna.

Even your name I think I should change to “Chloe”… Detroit: Become Human but then what happens when the next craze comes into play and you know there is always something else on the horizon, I can barely keep up. One of the reasons I like the rain except driving in it, the rain makes everything slow down, tears, hot showers, stopping pretty girls from leaving, you catch my meaning.

I’m more of a fire person, or I like to think so and didn’t I say I miss the anger, I miss the sex, and I miss being able to keep the house at a reasonable temperature. Machines, my mind, *sigh* “Today’s Word Is ‘Discombobulated.’”

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 329 ~Let’s See What Sticks~

Nothing brings humanity together like destruction and doing it alone is almost a criminal act but why not keep it all to myself; well, I have a blog and no published works, I’m sure people will find something else. Let’s See What Sticks now

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Lesson 329 ~Let’s See What Sticks~

Hey Lady Lu,
Can You Love Me Again, even with as dirty as that sounds or maybe that’s just me and my filthy mind? You know everything continues to pile up, albeit in smaller amounts but still. It sticks with you like my feet to the ground; how long does it take to learn how to walk and here I have to remind myself always to pick up my feet, to lift up my head, shoulders back. My “father” says I look weird; he would prefer I keep my eyes on the ground, a reminder.

I’ve talked often enough about how I’m not growing any taller because I can’t afford it, and how I feel so heavy because of everything that I’m keeping inside, like a reverse Pandora’s Box because Hope fled some time ago. It’s like “Pour Some Sugar on Me” already, maybe I’m not procrastinating but I need to find some joy in my life and even when I’m not watching the world go to Hell, what about all these created worlds. Watching “Detroit: Become Human,” reading “Whispers In The Dark” by LeTeisha Newton or even reading my works is doing nothing to make me feel better but these are things that stick.

Did I ever mention how much I hate glitter, and that sticks to everything, I wonder can fire burn that away; maybe that’s it Lady Luna, that I miss the anger, but it’s always there against myself, even at this moment. Everything I’m doing to stay awake, and when I do, I can’t stick to my task because when I think about what I want to do, you know honestly the world doesn’t need that from me or anyone else. Another reason to keep my head down, while possibly staying alive, you don’t want to know what the world has to offer because what do I do, take it, steal it, pay for it, and only, so I want more?

Again with my sugar diet, donuts and chocolate, quick meals not to live but to waste more time, wasn’t I suppose to have my poetry book ready to go this month and I can’t get past the first girl, a hundred poems out of how many? To make yet another pop culture reference yeah right, Fahrenheit 451, we are burning everything, and the sad thing is when we run out then the fire dies and bring on the darkness but then you can’t read the writing on the wall right?

That’s what I want Luna, maybe that’s why I relish sex, the feel of traditional books, when’s the last time I bought one of those, I want actual game discs, I keep my dog close, him and all his fur. I want to remember what it is to feel as the fire dies away, Lady Luna Let’s See What Sticks.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 322 ~Let’s Speak English Please~

It’s not that people speak different languages but and I have made this argument before, there is too much noise, with gunfire and royal proclamations, and everybody is looking towards heaven but then again. “Let’s Speak English Please” not like that

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Lesson 322 ~Let’s Speak English Please~

Hey Lady Lu,
Can You Love Me Again after a bit of a racist sentiment but it’s only racism if you compare me to Aaron Schlossberg or any Trump supporter, hell it might be treason during the Revolutionary War, but honestly today I mean the Royal Wedding. One country is preparing to bury more children and teachers, and another is welcoming love with a ton of security, thankfully nothing has happened; what if they had real knights with everyone knighted?

It’s times like these I think of that story of The Tower of Babel the idea that humanity spoke one language, and I would like to believe that language was love, but you can’t have love without hate. I’m still not a man of faith, but if there is a God sometimes you would think he hates us, my mom would probably go on some rant about love; why does love have to sound so much as hate, maybe something is lost in translation. I keep coming up with these reasons to write and here’s another, I’m trying to translate me because again it’s days like these I feel I am capable of love, but no one understands at all.

“If you think that what I do and how I live’s too much
I don’t really really give two fux
If you think that what I say and what I give ain’t love
I don’t really really give two fux” ― Adam Lambert, Two Fux

For example, if I were to have a wedding I’ve always wanted something like The Hunger Games, riding into the arena with my girl, crowds cheering, fire effects, or something like The Walking Dead or Star Wars. Don’t I call myself a traditionalist and maybe it’s sad because when’s the last time anyone said they love me, other than “Indiana Gone” and of course my dog gets a pass, but I tell him I love him every day, haven’t told a person that in years. More Than Words or Let’s Get Lost because we can’t “Escape” the fact that we’ve forgotten the love and again people will argue the contrary but we have dead children, and people instead hold onto their guns. We celebrate two people only to remind ourselves what love should look like or so we all dream.

If I’m not translating myself I do believe that words have the power to change the world as we know it, English, Spanish, Japanese, Yiddish, and god knows how many other languages because there are millions of ways to say I love you, but I need to hear it. Even if it’s Untitled (How Does It Feel) yeah I’ll turn off my phone, but I’m in a lovey-dovey mood, and I’m “Lost Without U” Lady Lu. Probably still am, unfortunately, but I’m just trying to understand, and with my languages *sigh* Let’s Speak English Please.

I Will Have No Fear