Tag: Grief

Legacy 106 -Braxton The Responsible, Virgil-

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I’m a father of two boys who happen to have four legs each, B and V. I have a girlfriend, and what have I done for her besides listen? M Anime’s understanding, B III was as he lay dying, and 2-Vwill be six soon. “Braxton The Responsible, Virgil”

Thursday, October 15, 2026

Legacy 106 -Braxton The Responsible, Virgil-

2083 Days Without B III, Day 1524 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? Well, they will not sing songs about this day. Or any day.

But I did write your book, B, two of them, actually. “My Turn To B III,” you know, like “It’s My Turn To Fly” from The Urge, in the movie “Titan A.E.” Urges, Braxton, Eww!

Let’s instead stick to pop culture that doesn’t involve me sending you to your room…

How about the Rainbow Bridge? Dark Humor or a bad joke. Either way, uncool, right?

Anyway, “I’ve been sittin’ here tryin’ to find myself.” And you know I do that through being a Pop Culture Whore. “The Mighty” (Freak the Mighty), “Finding Carter” (Little Lyndon, Tiny Taylor), etc. And so I was thinking of you and your brother, Braxton the Brave and Virgil the Valiant. However, your brother has some work to do. “Let him grow up some more.” Really!

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I could use that advice myself, if I’m to know “Glory.” If you’re keeping score, B, that’s three movies, one TV show, two books, and one song. Yesterday I talked to Dear E about all the things I’ve been forgetting and the needless things I can always recall, like “Toys”:

Memories of things that never happened
These are always the hardest to forget
The Mirror Song, Thomas Dolby ‧ 1992

But your brother and I were walking today, and I caught sight of his growing whiskers, the white, the gray… I swear, Lord of the Rings, now? All this talk of twins, close brothers and sisters, mothers and daughters. Will we get to Jahara Jayde today? Maybe. But B III

“He seemed so wise… and ancient, like the first dog who ever walked the earth.”
Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey

Virgil is getting older. Six years old, on the 20th. Not even half your age yet, and I am so worried, B. Just Survive Somehow.

It’s why I split up my accounts, so there would be no mistake between Necessary and FAFO money. I’m trying to be… Responsible. Hell, I would take bravery, valiantly, gallantry. Pretty much the same thing. And it wouldn’t matter, B: “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” I’m not a warrior nor a knight. I talked about being a savage, but no, B III:

“A knight in shining armor is a man who has never had his metal [or mettle] truly tested”
― ―

The path of the “Sorcerer,” the wizard, necromancer, or warlock. Like A.J. Markam’s Succubus, Eric Vall’s Satan’s Sorority Girls, Rodzil’s LaBraun’s Dystopian Girls, etc. Powerful women all surrounding one man. Whatever’s my “superpower,” Braxton Barks?

Honestly, “The Unfinished Archive,” including Jahara Jayde, because your father is responsible… Magic Glasses/MIMA. Me? Good? Braxton The Responsible, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 105 -Braxton, Virgil, F Forgetting-

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Priorities, Accountability, hell, do I even remember my manhood? My girlfriend started a new job. A pup is looking at me because he has business outside. So I’m lying here trying to remember a time I wanted to be alive. Braxton, Virgil, F Forgetting

Wednesday, October 14, 2026

Legacy 105 -Braxton, Virgil, F Forgetting-

BLESS ME, Echo,
For I have sinned… Forgetful much? Fuck Columbus! Indigenous People’s Day was the 12th. Virgil’s Birthday is the 20th. And Jahara Jayde…

For the record, I’m not counting a “wet dream” as Day One, hm. But what about my girl, M Anime? I texted her this morning, but I didn’t say “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die”.

One of these days, I need to remember to see that movie. Like wrestling, last night. “Dead City”. And how many things do I want to see? With what money? Yet another bill came in the other day, and then there’s the Day Job stuff. Adulting is the worst, Inspector.

Every day I wake up, and, except today, when I thought, “Wow, I came on her face. That was awesome,” Eww! Nine times out of ten, I think, why couldn’t I shuffle off this mortal coil, so to speak. Forgetful?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m a man without conviction
I’m a man who doesn’t know
How to sell a contradiction
Karma Chameleon, Culture Club

Karma Chameleon was right. When was the day I talked about not forgetting anything E

E as in elephants. Today’s question is this: How do I decide what to remember? I’ve been getting a bad vibe from Virgil lately. Is it because he’s getting old? My six-year-old little man. Five of those years he’s spent with me. B III had a harder road. Fifteen years.

Inspector, I don’t know what it was. A thought of Rabies? Rancid breath. Really, really, REALLY having no money. But like MAGA, I drift from one fuck up to the next. What was it, near the end of September to early October, the Magic Glasses/MIMA. Then it was the Day Job. And now my little boy. And like my woman

SIGH! Three little words escape me. I’m more inclined to say JSS “Just Survive Somehow”

Am I doing that myself? If anything, this sure is Hell ain’t living, Inspector. Honestly.

I’ve forgotten words like “Love and Happiness.” Relax, Rest, fucking Respect… I did mention the Magic Glasses/MIMA, right? I swear, RAGE, HORNINESS, and FEAR, Echo.

But no, I’m not one of these MAGA Incels. FDT and all of MAGA. But my boys are better men, Inspector. I said last week they give no F’s. Food, Forty Winks, and finding their father. Which is one more reason I’ve been worried about Virgil getting all cuddly, Echo.

I keep seeing that scene from I Am Legend. What does he remember? Have I forgotten? Braxton, Virgil, F Forgetting

2082 Days Without B III, Day 1523 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 104 -Virgil And The B’s-

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Love should give me enough energy to wake up. But I really, really, REALLY missed having a Bloom this morning. And I haven’t seen any bugs in a minute. FEAR is a big motivator. And Braxton knows I don’t love that. “Virgil And The B’s”

Tuesday, October 13, 2026

Legacy 104 -Virgil And The B’s-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Then how come I don’t say it? “Yo te quiero, Papi Y te deseo”. Honey?

I want you to know I hear you. I do. I will. However, marriages go in this day and age, you know. Love is more than a buzzword to me. Though, to paraphrase Virgil Hawkins, aka Static Shock (My son V’s name was inspired by a lot of things). Ok, the word LOVE does put a shock to my system. I forget how to speak English. I can’t eat… Well, you… Do I ever stop? And I can’t get enough of hearing that word; it’s like a song from Glee:

“’Cause I feel that when I’m with you, It’s alright, I know it’s right
And the songbirds are singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before”
Songbird, Glee Cast

And don’t get mad for the comparison, but Braxton showed me love until his last…

Breath… Beat of his heart… Belief in his eyes that I would bring him back. That’s what Dads do, hmm:

“He was the boy’s father. Father’s are supposed to protect their sons, not leave them alone.”
― A Different Alchemy

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But what do husbands do? “Well, I’ll be sitting here. Working on this beer. Oh, baby, I love you, just leave me the fuck alone.” You know I don’t drink. No, I’m just tired today.

And so I’m sitting here humming “I Want A New Drug.” “But Your Love Is My Drug,” isn’t it? Oh, looks like I found my phone. Plus, I have a puppy sleeping on my lap, and you know the law. You can’t move for anything. And if Virgil were Braxton, it would not even be a question. Again, being sleepy turns me into a fucking meanie. And yesterday I was talking to Braxton about beast. But I’m not some superhero trying to keep my control.

I’m not a fucking drunk.

I’m “Just A Man.” And what is worse than a man? People are so vexed with what a woman is. The people MAGA has no respect for. Incubators. Broodmares for the state, the fear out of The Handmaid’s Tale. But you are my wife, and the things we do, hmm…

I’m surprised I don’t bother you about my Stuff And Thang more often. Bugging you.

That’s what I feel like sometimes. I want to say I’m a busy bee, but I’m more of a mosquito:

“If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito.”
―

But I’m squished and squashed. It’s like I’m constantly bleeding out. “These wounds won’t seem to heal. This pain is just too real.” “Oh yes, there will be blood.” I write shit. But Honey, there’s you. Virgil And The B’s

2081 Days Without B III, Day 1522 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 101 -Braxton Storms Out Virgil-

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“Te Quiero Papi” is one of the best things my girlfriend says. Next to it… I’m always wet for you. She says it in Spanish too, but I love you/te quiero is the first thing I learned. If I don’t get blown away or washed away. Braxton Storms Out Virgil.

Saturday, October 10, 2026

Legacy 101 -Braxton Storms Out Virgil-

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Trillionaire right now…Which means I cry on the softest pillows. Visit the wettest and wildest places… With my dick!

Seriously! Oh, and burn my eyes with only the hottest herbs and spices, Kentucky Fried…

Or I hire a hot maid to clean up my bed sheets. Maybe that’s a fantasy M Anime, and I can explore. However, M’s falling into girlfriend/wifey/mother-of-my-children mode. Uh, me? A man ain’t supposed to cry, so I find the stormy weather pretty perfect, Luna.

So I’m wasting the day. And didn’t I waste yesterday too? As a father and a husband, I can only imagine what would have happened if I’d only brought back an eight-pack of water. Hmm.

Always a day late and a dollar short, emphasis on the DOLLAR. Family, Lady Lunalesca.

Braxton cried for a day, then took his storm straight to the Rainbow Bridge. Paradise?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Another thing Virgil and I have in common. We are both big criers. So what is it today, Lunalesca? Sweat, blood, or tears? I’d say cum… Please! Yeah, I’m not feeling very sexy right now. Yeah, like I wasn’t staring at the tits of my favorite Asian mother and daughter duo earlier today. Which brings me back to what I should be worried about, Lady Luna.

The Magic Glasses/MIMA. If only I could have been there, you know. What, like that scene out of Transformers… Glen Whitmann/Anthony Anderson? Oh, I need to piss myself too. I know, Lady Lunalesca, I’m being gross. I’m sorry. But I’m empty. At least that’s how I feel. Water, water everywhere, and it’s like I’m in a barren desert, Lunalesca.

My cup is empty or filled with Bloom. Maybe I should say doom and gloom, which is how the world all around looks. What time is the damn hurricane? I didn’t know what time it was last night. But I woke up, and the town had not blown away. Blowjobs…

Honestly, I need to stop. But I can’t “Drift Away,” “Float On,” “Beyond The Sea” of misery, which is the loss of my son. On top of everything else? Sink or swim, is it not?

Drowning is not my cup of tea, Lunalesca. And now I’m thinking about the cocktail they gave my Braxton all those years ago to end it. No friendly drop to help me after. Just the rain. Braxton Storms Out Virgil.

2078 Days Without B III, Day 1519 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 099 -B’s In Barks, Virgil-

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My little boy B was everything. My baby asleep on my chest as I read. The bravery I needed. The quiet brain when mine was loud. Not a dog, my boy, my son, and his brother tries. But I didn’t meet Virgil; I dragged him with me. “B’s In Barks, Virgil.”

Thursday, October 8, 2026

Legacy 099 -B’s In Barks, Virgil-

2076 Days Without B III, Day 1517 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? Boring, Ballsy… Eww! Day one yet again. But once again, bedridden, B.

Virgil is sitting to the right of where you used to sit. My “Lazy Ass” couldn’t even make it to the Den. Well, to eat anyway. The last thing your Dad needs is Burning Lava sauce in his eyes, AGAIN! Burning Lava, bug spray, but if anything, I want to stay in this bed B

And Virgil? He’s who I’ve been thinking about as his birthday approaches. His place, B.

You know how your brother ‘earned’ his name. Virgil guided Dante through Hell. The keyword Braxton, “guided.” That’s the thing. I don’t want to leave, not for a second. I’m Resident Evil, “You go! I’m gonna stay here for a while. I’m kinda enjoying myself.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I wish I could have said that all those years ago as you lay dying. “Resident Evil: Retribution.” That came out of nowhere, B. But it holds a place. It all holds a place, B.

Only is my place swimming in vagina… For some reason, I figured I’d have a lot more fun. Hell is so many things, my son. Not like you would know anything about that, B III.

I condemned Virgil to this Hell, not you… Your ashes in a box say otherwise. But yeah, something hot; like women. Not the ones at the Day Job, mind you. Your Dad isn’t a victim; I’m a villain because of what I looked up this morning. Bark it, Braxton… Eww!

  1. Tifa Lockhart
  2. Ellone
  3. Amicia de Rune
  4. Pocahontas
  5. Ms. Rachel
    Suggested by The Magic Glasses/MIMA: Bayonetta

Very, very bad boy. Not you or your brother, but me. The Unfinished Archive is a story meant for neither of you. And yet you and your brother, and your future potential stepmom, always appear. You were always one for books, or rather, sleeping as I read away B. “Valiant, Vulnerable, Very Beautiful.” I’d say more fuckable, but beautiful works too. And it’s not like the guys were cowards, traveling to Hell, witches, the devil’s playground, other worlds. I could continue. But B is for bedtime, which I have sorely been lacking. Why? Some chick’s vagina. Your brother has to eat. Violence against myself, but too cowardly to do it right. Robert Frobisher “Cloud Atlas…” Nope. B’s In Barks, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 098 -Braxton, Virgil, No F’s-

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This day deserves two F’s. Someone got effed, and I fought. And no, I’m not talking about my boys… Well, not the whole time anyway. B’s gone, and do I have the money to fight for 2-V Vis-à-vis a vet visit? With my Day Job… Oh! Braxton, Virgil, No F’s

Wednesday, October 7, 2026

Legacy 098 -Braxton, Virgil, No F’s-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Sabotage? A teeny tiny bit. But I don’t really give “Two Fux” M’s Yabbos, my boys, two eyes.

But comedy comes in 3s, they say. “A,” “J,” and myself. What comes first, Inspector?

Always and forever, my boys. And as I speak of always and forever, you know, whenever I feel like I’m fucked, I think of the time life fucked me the hardest. Or was it death?

Inspector, I lost my son; I lost B. And Virgil ain’t looking too pretty these days as we move closer to his birthday. The 20th? Are there any other days I should worry about? Hmm.

Tomorrow? But again, we’ll get to that. What about today’s bank balance? How fucked am I? I haven’t had the “Nerve” to check on it. And I was so wiped after today. Braxton and Virgil bark, but did you die?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Okay, so today’s adventure… I’m at the Day Job “A” “C” “S” are there. Then there’s “J”.

And I don’t mean fun like Agent J, Mary Jane, or jerking off. Anyway, J makes everyone’s lives miserable, and finally A had enough. So she and J go after each other, and when she comes back, I’m angry for A. I shock J by speaking out against her not giving an eff…

Soon there’s a mutiny, a revolt, a revolution; it’s “The Uprising against J, Inspector Echo.

Anyway, by the time the GM arrives, J has no real defense—the first time I get sent to the office for trouble. At least right now, I don’t feel effed. But eff today and tomorrow. It’s almost my motto.

But you want to know some real effs about me. SIGH. I told M Anime about my fantasies about Ms. Rachel. Trust me, I have worse. But with Ms. Rachel… “Put it in?” Effing yes!

What about M Anime and I? Let’s Talk About Sex. But between her and me. We have a particular fetish, a peculiar kink. You do remember I studied “Ravishment,” Inspector?

Then let’s remember what I was worried about for the past week and a half before the drama-rama at the Day Job. The Magic Glasses/MIMA, or at least a pair of them, lost to the darkness. The things I was doing, and then no warning. Felt like my boys, Inspector.

They don’t give Two Fux. Me? Braxton, Virgil, No F’s

2075 Days Without B III, Day 1516 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 097 -B’s Blindness Binds Virgil-

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The mind’s eye and my one-eyed monster have been plenty busy these past few days. But my own eyes; I can’t see nothing, or I see too damn much. But as usual, I only want to shut my eyes and sleep. And after? And after… B’s Blindness Binds Virgil

Tuesday, October 6, 2026

Legacy 097 -B’s Blindness Binds Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? “Can you hear? Can you read? Are you receiving the signal? Do you copy me?”

Wow, that’s saying a lot… Not me, Theresa Walker’s “I Don’t Wanna Die.” How I wish we could sit here and watch the movie “Dead Air.” Can I even see it? I just don’t know.

Didn’t somebody say, love is blind? And apparently deaf as well. And how about, Stupid

“I feel stupid,” because today I want to show gratitude. For Braxton? No matter where my boy may roam, he still sees his way HOME to me. In spirit, at least. And he loves me.

Honestly, it made me blind to how he aged. I didn’t see some old man. I saw my son, B.

So my blindness must have been going on for a while because I see Virgil cuddling closer and closer still.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

He’ll be six in two weeks, October 20. Not even halfway to his brother’s age yet, and he’s already like a ghost. Do I see him yet? Do he and Braxton see each other? Sometimes…

Yeah, maybe I am blind. I think I see Braxton nudging him forward, but Braxton could be standing in the way, and that’s why he’s scared to come in. Braxton is all Gandalf the Grey: you shall not pass. For a while, I thought Braxton had become Gandalf the White in Virgil’s little body. Reincarnation? Necromancy? I am grateful that isn’t true, my love. Why, because of how I treat Virgil? The younger brother from “The Man Who Watched the World End” or the burned son from “A Different Alchemy”?

I am grateful for all these insights I’ve been seeing, even about you, my love, The Unfinished Archive. Since I haven’t been using the Magic Glasses/MIMA for ideas, I have sought my own counsel. The Man in the Mirror? Seriously! When it comes to you:

You are the Phoenix Queen, and every other sister is a part of you. Lily, your garden, and my mourning. Kyouko Sakai, your sex drive. Cassandra, your exuberant strength. Sophitia, your mature strength. Skye, your ties to the Earth and knowledge. Judy, your expertise, green thumb. 2B, wanting to be a better woman. Nico, your knives. Melina, your scars and faith. Sadly, my brain isn’t getting smart; my head’s been fucked up. “My eyes, my eyes. B’s Blindness Binds Virgil

2074 Days Without B III, Day 1515 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 094 -B’s Don’t Become V’s-

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A man at a gas station asked me for $0.75. I had $0.70. This is after he saw I screwed up my ATM card twice. And before that, I was humiliated at my Day Job. Not fired, only named, blamed, and shamed. How many years of schooling? B’s Don’t Become V’s

Saturday, October 3, 2026

Legacy 094 -B’s Don’t Become V’s-

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Trillionaire right now… So, I can be there for my girl, buy the Day Job, and resurrect my son.

And while I’m at it, I could take care of his little brother, my V. I have nothing against V

But my stock is dropping fast, Lunalesca. My dollars, my dogs/boys, and my damsel too.

So what do I want right now, hmm… From a trillion to wanting to have the strength to get my ass up and spend fifteen bucks on a movie. And have a frost Bloom, Lunalesca.

Must it always fall back to money? I guess I’ll have to fill you in on the Day Job, but let’s count up the humiliations galore at the convenience store first, my dear Lady Lunalesca.

1: I didn’t know how to use my card at the food truck
2: An inferior Icee
3: Seventy-five cents

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

None of these things would have been necessary if I made better grades in school. I never believed I would live this long. “(Forty-two) stoney gray steps towards the grave. You know the box awaits…” Oh, I couldn’t be all “The future’s so bright I gotta wear shades” type of a guy. Hell, that’s everyone these days. But why not yesterday morning I am so…

In need of a thesaurus. But okay, long story short, ahem: Yesterday I was assigned visual, but instead they had me working “truck unload,” so that’s what I did. Nearly three hundred boxes, and then the ASM “J” and bosses “C” and “S” were all over me. And not in the Unfinished Archive Harem sort of way. The Humiliation begins.

Not that I’m remotely interested in any of them. I tell Braxton and Virgil’s Potential Future Stepmom all the time that there’s a reason blowjobs turn me on. Seriously, Luna.

Between getting yelled at, talked about, laughed at, dismissed, and then trying to be a good boyfriend on top of it all. Once again, there are grades, there’s growing up, and there’s green. All of those things, Lunalesca, that’s “What Makes A Good Man.” Honestly.

And G comes before F. But here I am, a forty-two-year-old boy skipping all the way to V as if Virgil was supposed to save me. Virgil didn’t save Dante; he was his guide, Lunalesca. Nothing more. Losing B, I lost everything. Hell’s eternal and deep B’s Don’t Become V’s

2071 Days Without B III, Day 1512 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 092 -B’s For Breathing, Virgil-

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Out of sight, out of mind. But in sleep, I’m still breathing. As I slept, an angel watched over me—my B. Now, as I shut my eyes tightly, I imagine his beautiful stepmom, my girlfriend. But I’m awake; I breathe; I’m scared. “B’s For Breathing, Virgil”

Thursday, October 1, 2026

Legacy 092 -B’s For Breathing, Virgil-

2069 Days Without B III, Day 1510 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Your brother is alive. M Anime wants to have my babies. No banging…

I mean, on the door, of course, B III. Not the cops/FBI, not my Old Man, or anyone I owe.

Yet… I smile? No B. “I feel STUPID.” Your Dad is a “Savage,” ask M Anime. Eww! You don’t need to know that. But for the most part, your Daddy is scared. Fuck! What now?

“The horror! The horror!”
Kurtz

Language! I know, Baby B. I wouldn’t want to scare Virgil. Hell, we’re both terrified.

Braxton, why must your Dad live in this constant state of FEAR? No germ, contagion, disease, virus, or plague is as inane, insidious, infectious, and insane as FEAR. Uh, HATRED and STUPIDITY would like to bark in here. But today B III there is FEAR.

Braxton, I need one of those waking up seeing you…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Breaths… That’s what I didn’t tell your Potential Future Stepmom this morning. I damn well might have been happy every afternoon after the Bad Place. I would nap, and then when I woke up, There You’ll Be. Talk about without the presence of FEAR, Braxton.

Your Potential Future Stepmom has that power too. Again, I was talking to her this morning, and when I lose the ability to think, ONLY breathe, I’m uttering every OBSCENITY, and the words “Oh yeah” seem boring, but everything is OKAY. And why is that? Because M Anime has a perfect set of yabbos but was marveling at Angie Griffin’s

And isn’t that why I’m in trouble? Not with her…

I was “Barely Breathing” when M Anime and I were apart. But she’s been nearly this whole year. And speaking of this whole year, now I’m scared again. Stalking FEAR…

That I do Braxton, every day I need to find something else to scare me. And here I was thinking that once I escaped Emergence month. What? Would October be less terrifying, hmm? Yesterday B was for bugs, bug spray, broken house things (toilet), and buying cleaning supplies, with what, a couple of hundred bucks. Banging, Breaking, boys in blue

I hope not, because who would see to your brother? I beg, I give my blessing, I believe your brother won’t be afraid someday. I can’t tell myself that because I know the man, the boy I am. Braxton, M Anime… B’s For Breathing, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 091 -Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside-

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Years ago, when the shed wasn’t under siege, when the backyard fence wasn’t broken, when I wasn’t scanning the kitchen counter or floors, etc. B was on his pillow while I wrote. Let me out, let me in. Now I’m trapped. “Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside”

Wednesday, September 30, 2026

Legacy 091 -Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What, by living? Don’t get me wrong, forty-two years is way too much for my liking. Buying books?

One of the many ways I fucked up yesterday. And there were indeed several, Inspector.

Enough to make me want to lose “My Boys.” When we get into it, you’ll see how STUPID I’ve been. But Inside/Outside is a… Let’s say it’s a silly game at least for Braxton Barks.

I swear my firstborn went everywhere. Is it ironic to call him both a free spirit and alive, Inspector? What is ironic is his brother, Virgil Vivi. He’s like a ghost. And I wish I were talking about the Good Boy from Game of Thrones. Is Virgil Ride or Die? Hell, that’s what I get for naming him after Dante’s hellish guide. He is a ghost, like a pillar of salt, a scoop of vanilla.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It’s like he melts away into the floor or wherever I place him. Braxton and his potential future stepmom, and I talk a lot about having two-leggeds. Sometimes it’s like Virgil forgets he has four legs. Somebody at the Day Job said they’ve seen us walking. So good, I’m not imagining Virgil is here. But he’d rather not be here in this house. Myself, Echo.

I would make my absence permanent. But I’m a father of two. Not one, Inspector!

Seriously, you remember The Running Man (2025)? “Richard Lives!” Inspector, always and forever, Braxton Lives! My brave boy. I envy him. And not only the whole shuffling off the mortal coil part. I wish I were so brave as to have his fierceness. Nope Inspector.

“I don’t want to be just one thing. I can’t be. I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind.”
Four ― Divergent

Today, “I feel STUPID!” And we could go on and on in this Mad Season with all that happened at the Day Job. So fucking idiotic that I needed a second to forget. Day One…

I didn’t jerk off yesterday; too much was happening. I didn’t confide in M Anime…

Plenty of things I want inside her. Okay, I’ll stop, or rather begin. Inspector, honestly…

So yesterday ants retook the counter and the doorway. I was mixing up ant killer from the bathroom because you remember what happened last time with all the bug spray…

While fighting that battle, the guest bathroom went cattywampus. Then Amazon was taking my Kindle points, so I bought four books. Outside confidence. Inside blatant STUPIDITY. Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside

2068 Days Without B III, Day 1509 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will