Episode 033 ~End Justifies The Will~

Don’t do it, even when you see The End on the horizon; when you wake up at four in the morning and can’t touch the keys till 4:50, when I am a writer makes you feel for once in your life that you are somebody, don’t do it. End Justifies The Will

Friday, August 3, 2018

Episode 033 ~End Justifies The Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason to feel bad, I know sometimes I can’t even stand myself, I can’t put it in a text, make excuses, god help me if I try to write it honestly somewhat, and only Spider-Man can get away with “I don’t feel so good.” When did the word “bad” become one of the hardest to put down in the English language, it’s damn near forbidden to feel it, so no wonder writing it takes a great amount of strength of “Will” as it were.

Being a writer, two words that have lost all meaning are “The End” when they should be two of the most rewarding, but everything is usually “To Be Continued” as the world continues to expand, evolve, and emote. Alliteration is another big word that I tend to do plenty and is usually frowned upon but it’s not the worst thing is it, like I always say, everything I want is impossible, immoral, illegal or insane. Would that include “Editing” which is like the aftermath of marrying the princess, you know they talk about happily ever after but I’m not that type of writer or a writer at all… Charles Bukowski.

I wrote a rule a few days ago “The Truest Sentence, An Excuse” because those come bursting out of me, I spent twenty minutes, maybe more, just trying to come up with the proper chapter title and then I asked myself do I still have the will to do this? There is the line in Tupac’s Ghetto Gospel where he says he goes blind and lets the lord do his thing and I’m still not religious mind you, but I wish I could blame somebody else, anyone else. If anything that is the point I want to make today, that I could blame somebody else for not wanting to write or for doing it but despite everything, there’s only me, and I feel bad because I’m not good enough truthfully.

“If I upset you don’t stress, never forget
That God isn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes, I go blind and let the Lord do his thang” Ghetto Gospel, (Tupac, Elton)

I’m the one that woke up late and still spent two hours wanting to talk to you, the one that feels horrible about not posting a book review and yet excited to write a movie review and still too lazy to do it. With everything and according to Rule 158 “I’m Will, There’s A Way maybe that’s why imagining an end is so hard, a starving artist must stay as such which explains my not going to the store and only wanting to write more because and no disrespect to women ha but writing means bleeding, End Justifies The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 252 ~Ode To My Bed~

I don’t have to be up you know, Lesson 001 was about the things that kept me awake, and here we are now, and all I want to do is sleep, maybe that prevents me from making the same mistakes but isn’t that life too? “Ode To My Bed.”

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Lesson 252 ~Ode To My Bed~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, I don’t have bad dreams, there’s no monster under the bed, and in the court of public opinion, I am the boogeyman; I should also say I might save money redoing my bedroom. Hell I named you after the moon Luna, I spend money or pills and energy drinks to rev me up so I can crash, I haven’t made my bed in ages, and it seems to me I love my bed so much that I want to build another room.

These days all my money goes into “bedroom attire” for a friend, I used the Walmart Pick-Up just so I can come back here quicker, and with my current bank account, it’s not like I can go out. Think about the places I go, the movies are dark, and people aren’t supposed to talk, the library which is another quiet place, and speaking of which I have been too lazy to check out my local library recently. A bookstore so I can fill my head with more stories, then again don’t I have Amazon, and what book aren’t I reading this week, ask Lady Sophia.

This moment is one of those times I wish I could blame society, more bullets, more death, some men just want to watch the world burn and my aunt who died some years back said I wanted to destroy the world; call me a Trump supporter because I want to profit. You could say that it’s my Depression, the place I work, everything that went down with “Okay,” worries about life and that would make perfect sense, why I sleep all the time. It could be the fact that even for not giving a shit about people face to face, I care too much, I unsubscribed from so many stores but how many petitions have I signed, how many contacts have I talked to, friends can be exhausting, and I dare to ask for love.

Wee Little Puppy Man is asleep at my feet, and even when he goes out it’s to bring the ruckus, bring the noise, and how about all my playlists of late, almost like a drug. So if I have learned anything today, I should look up the definition of an ode. I need to find something I love as much as my dog and my bed, and honestly, I want to see how it all ends, even if it’s just the rain outside, before the bombs, Ode To My Bed.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 245 ~Excuse My Many Excuses~

Please excuse me for everything including breathing, taking valuable time from somebody I want to meet only I’m way too busy these days. Sleeping takes a massive toll you know, or maybe the bed is just lumpy, something to fix. Excuse My Many Excuses.

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Lesson 245 ~Excuse My Many Excuses~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because I’m tired, I’m cold, I’m working the day job, responsibilities, expectations, but it could be worse, the opposite of life is death, but here I am looking for a synonym. What’s the purpose of surviving if not to live, sure I can talk about living after my many brushes with death but when is the last time I lived without knowing what it is to die, living without fear of anything?

Indeed, Lady Luna, writing is life, my day job is survival, it’s comparing walking my dog to mowing the lawn, choosing a book and being asked for a review, speaking of which I don’t remember the last time I decided a book for myself. How about winning PCH and getting ten bucks instead of winning the grand prize this morning; is that what made me get it up to work in the front yard only to see the money go to someone else? Do I sound bitter or selfish, I felt such passion for life honestly, and then I have spent the majority of this day right back in bed, oh if the future wife could see me now, I’m still behaving to be sure.

Survival is finding ways to keep my roundabout lust while life would indeed be going out into the world and what’s my excuse there; money, how much have I spent on submissive clothes that I could have spent on going to Starbucks and looking for her. Waiting is just another excuse for cowardice; don’t misunderstand there is a time to wait and a time to move, and somehow I always blame time itself. The more things change, the more they stay the same, all the time I spent making excuses in school for not having my homework instead of you know, actually doing my homework.

People, of course, are my ultimate excuse and while one of my rules is “I Take My Own Lumps” do I mean in bed, is that why I’m always working from here and never feel rested no matter how much I sleep. Well, it looks like I learned something; “Oh K” is right for one thing, but I never make excuses not to talk to you Lady Lu. Which is something, but I’ve had enough of synonyms and explanations as the song goes “say what you need to say” and not Excuse My Many Excuses.

I Will Have No Fear

Kid Rocks

What’s my age again, what’s my age again, wait that isn’t heavy metal but all people have it in them literally, or on them, and I suppose I’m only getting heavier at my age. Kid Rocks, because am I growing up, I wanted to be an astronaut, help Atlas.

Stoned, however, it’s known
as heavy metal plays on my phone
I know I must be a pain

for Atlas carrying the Earth
Perhaps a sapphire is to blame

Because all that glitters is not gold
or silver, diamonds, and I was told
It doesn’t matter what’s in a name

A stone will crush us all the same

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

 

Will Known

Something I’m going to regret, not today, hopefully not tomorrow, but for now as they sing fifteen percent concentrated power of Will, though I’m firing on all cylinders now. Will Known, who knows but someday maybe, and no I don’t mean never heh

How can you define Will?
Not in the words of a dead man
Have you bothered to check?
Could you possibly, listen, listen, hear, and understand
this secret I spill

What, “I’m Alive”, Will,
before the faces of a billion men
some wrong women I suspect,
to my virtues and vices, regrets and sins
I’ll scream it until

who I am and choose to be is Will
like Will Smith Will Schuester, Will Parry
do they expect
I can be like them, then it’s not so scary
until I thrill

when adversity threatens, my force of Will
more effective than an AK, hotter than a Molotov cocktail
let me direct
World War Three on Pay TV, a script to Hell
Maybe I can pay the bills

where Batman does but sign my checks Will
with my potential, my future, like any superhero
God knows I’m not perfect
I’m only human don’t you know…
No, then I have something to fulfill

Why promise anyone but Will
Free Will, Iron Will, even if I’m the one to blame
There will be some respect
People will remember the name
Yes I’m gonna make it, yes I Will

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Write Walls and Cages

The mind has the skull, the tongue is behind teeth, and the heart is behind bars and I realize that it is a good reason for all of that. “Write Walls and Cages” why are my fingers still out on bail or today they serve as jailers just maybe.

Can’t you keep it down
Now I’d say something dumb
but pride comes before the fall
and for that crime
we were doing the time
for all the things he thought he knew when we were young
insane in the membrane
He’s how I got my start

Only you played your part
You’re the one that brought our shame
For running your tongue
crossing every damn line
Are you that blind?
Won’t take your blame is all,
worse you’re a no good lazy bum
letting the fingers pound

Wait a minute maybe we weren’t the ones
No, no, no, “it’s” the one to blame
Damn the heart
Who knows what he’ll find
For dollars, no sense, but then some DIME
Maybe we shouldn’t be so loud
He lives in a cage but um
That’s why he can’t read the writing on the wall

You were meant to be confined
Why must we remind

Copyright © 2017 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

 

Blame Atom

Well I have to blame something or someone, but seeing as how all my loves have been one sided, should I blame the stars, those pedestals I keep building, my biology, or how I imagine some girl falling for me. Blame Atom or my own eyes.

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIaGdHY3zXA

And I don’t blame you
for love is such sweet suicide

So I’ll make you an angel somehow
Yet I commit much greater sins
Like I would sell my soul
Because maybe just maybe
I think I can tell her… I want us to be together
The things I want to believe

You’d find me with a mushroom cloud
Accomplish what other didn’t; thirteen women…
yeah I’m gonna dig myself a hole,
watch world war three on pay TV,
make love in a fallout shelter
My atom bomb baby

if you would love me like you do
Blame you, love I’m still alive

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Yuna Naruse, Saishuu Chikan Densha 2, Midnight Sleazy Train 2, Edwin McCain “I’ll Be”, Sammy Salvo ~ A Mushroom Cloud (1961)… Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Bill Haley and His Comets “Thirteen Women” (1954) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Arthur ‘Big Boy’ Crudup “I’m Gonna Dig Myself A Hole” (1951) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Crown City Four “Watch World War Three (On Pay TV) (1960) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Dore Alpert “Fallout Shelter” (1962) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Five Stars “Atom Bomb Baby” (1957) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, and Meat Loaf “Alive”

The Word Next to Love

I like, I want, I need, but this isn’t about me or maybe it is because she always loves a different person not that I can blame her. Love… a word used much too often and for me much too soon. “The Word Next to Love”

So love LIVED next door

Why did I tell her?

 

I think Atlas dropped the world

And an angel found her feet

 

Put the blame on me, I’ll take the heat

It’s me, it’s not you

 

Who says love me like you do

To the last beautiful girl

 

Or the first one to rock my world

Not like love LIVED next door

 

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

 

Inspired by: Brittany Anne Pirtle – Emily… Power Rangers Samurai, Akon “Sorry, Blame It On Me”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, Matchbox Twenty “Last Beautiful Girl”, and Michael Jackson “You Rock My World”

 

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4nabT8XF6Y

Brittany Anne Pirtle - Emily… Power Rangers Samurai 008