Log 337 ~When Will Talks Sheet~

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Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t left my bed other than to take my son for a walk, and because my “father” came by *shudders*. If I could finish just one book, I could make money in my sleep or do other things in bed ha. When Will Talks Sheet.

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Log 337 ~When Will Talks Sheet~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t brag about it. Indeed before I met you, what my son would hear is “Just me Baby Boy.” Follow that up with a sigh of relief, and that’s the end of the day’s events. Oh yeah, what about my writing? Am I a hard man to know, yep. I swear I’ve given old bosses a death stare. If I had my way, the phrase “How Are You Doing” would be outlawed. Daily I’m still struggling with Rule #2, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Considering my work, can you blame me for being speechless?

As the song goes, “Saving All My Love For You,” and that’s not the best example of marriage. Also, you’re probably sick of me, speaking through songs. Another reason I love you because you wouldn’t say that. And I Will Always Love You for that. Well, I guess that’s enough Whitney Houston, but should we talk about my lame writing? Yeah, I know by this point, a few bestsellers, some movies, a flair for titles, what about my new script? I want to apologize for having you act like my beta reader most days. Must be tiring. Even though our bed is still my favorite spot in the house… for many reasons. In younger days, I heard a woman say something about bedrooms. The better your bed, the more a woman wants to stay there. Again the focus of my life and I still wish to stay here with you.

Now you ask me why with everything going on? Is the world still such a scary place? Baby Doll, I still have nightmares of my life before. When I close my eyes sigh I could wake up and where would you be? To me, you’re like some superhero with or without her cape. I’m like a sick man dying, and you both give me Fever, with your Bad Medicine, Baby Girl. Only and I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I would say, “She’s Got Skillz. Yeah, this is why I don’t write jokes for a living. My Love, in Between The Sheets… yes, I’m cutting off Spotify… I don’t want to believe there is anything between us. You’re cooler than the other side of the pillow, “what’s my age again,” the last one?

Paper, Bed, Only You are times When Will Talks Sheet.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 336 ~Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage~

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Last week I said I barely notice the Coronavirus (COVID-19) anymore, and I’m not alone in that. Besides all the fears that come with being a black man in this country. I have to find the courage to even get out of bed. “Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage”

Monday, June 1, 2020

Log 336 ~Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage~

Hundred And Thirty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now… yep along with saying I’m hopeful. I’m sorry to say Madam Justice; all I have is the fear. Oh, and the lusts, I can’t forget about that. As the song goes, it takes two, but what do you get when you add terror and horniness? Isaku, Dark Shell, The Harvest Night? I would advise you not to look those up. So why even say their names, you ask me? Allow me this small luxury, it’s taking everything not to look at them myself, amongst other things. Tip of the iceberg I tell you but back to business.

I tell you every now and again, I am not a man of faith. At this moment, however, as the song goes. Please allow me to improvise, I’m a man of God with no need for saving. Hell, that’s the very first thing, especially with the current news, to live as I will, no allowance. From a concept to a prayer. For this week, I pray for courage not only for myself but for my son. He has faith I will return. You can even call it, hope when I tell him so. Through I shared fear sadly of the world beyond these walls, we combine our strength to survive. Madam Justice, I fear this entire week though, so wherein lies my hope. Dare I dream of my Six Impossible Things? Lies aren’t they, each and every week. I don’t hope I have good days. No, I fear that day when I’ll get myself fired.

So again, I’m looking for courage. Fear Plus Hope, but how about Purpose And Why. Here’s another song for you, Joy And Pain, as my aunt taught me? Here and now Madam Justice I am afraid, but I’m telling myself I will be better. Like at the Day Job last week, how I got birds slamming into the door now. How about the fact that my “father” is coming over? Fear can serve as great motivation, but it’s running with no destination, and your legs give, and you end up like me. Yeah, lying in bed, hoping that you won’t have to wake up tomorrow. What do I hope for, though, and that’s pretty damn easy to answer ahem WOMEN.

My purpose, but why? When can I tell the world that, to be that brave? Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 335 ~Drink Your T Will~

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I could never be “Family-Friendly” enough *shudders* for Sesame Street. However, I did write a novel based on twenty letters of the alphabet, and this was before I heard of Nier: Automata. What’s the truth of all this, though. Drink Your T Will

Sunday, May 31, 2020

Log 335 ~Drink Your T Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now or whatever Sesame Street is worth. This is going to be another talk brought to you by the letter T. Last week I had lots of… TROUBLE with my words. TERRIFYING TENURE, TRYING TIMES, TEMPTING TITTIES TRUE.

TROUBLE is my middle name, well more like “troubles,” but don’t ask the government that. Hell, it might be time for you to change your name. Yeah, I know, look at the schedule, and you would be fonder of the F Word I know. You’re in trouble, I get it. TERRIFYING, I know, and I wish I could tell you that you don’t have to go. I could do that as much as I could tell you that you’re a trillionaire. Do you know there is no such person that can claim that title? All you want is a day that you don’t live in such terror. Not this week. TENURE sigh. I saved you the trouble of being stupid by looking up, on this Friday morn “Does the Day Job have tenure. Of course, the Manager was saying you’ve been there so long friend.

TIMES, whether it be getting up in the morning, the day, and your writing. Time Has Come Today as the song goes, so what are you going to do about it? I can guess because I’ve been in your shoes. Yes, I wish I could stop thinking about Shoes and Home & Kids. TRYING, but it never works out, does it? Right now, I’m “working from home,” which means I lacked the strength to even get out of bed. Of course, My Dæmon had his walk. Are you going to be a better father than me, well Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Completed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day This Week
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late by Colleen Hoover
    Failed

TRUE, I completed half the list. I know you’re asking yourself, how do I expect you to get the other three done. Do I still hold much hope for the future, the one you’re about to take over today? You don’t want my real answer now, do you? I would be asking for a miracle. TITTIES are such, and I know that’s Dirty Diana’s port of call. I’m still angry that I wasn’t courageous enough to post that picture. You know the one I’m hinting at… Rebecca, Anaa/Alissa, Niquee, and Eileen Homer drool. Speaking of which these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Five “GULP” Poems Daily
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Losing The Day Job Now
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late by Colleen Hoover

Tempting to stay as you are, Drink Your T Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 334 ~Will The Track Star~

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Didn’t I say don’t ask me about the Day Job? I asked the question, what would happen if I stood up? The answer, have a Panic Attack and run out the door. Is that what I’m calling it now, thank you WebMD because it beats cowardice. Will The Track Star

Saturday, May 30, 2020

Log 334 ~Will The Track Star~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how much is Usain Bolt making? I suppose I chose the right profession if I became the next J.K. Rowling snickers. How about E.L. James, Stephen King, Tillie Cole, or my latest “obsession” Eric Vall? Well, did I even write to Lady Sophia all that happened at the Day Job on Tuesday? Let’s see if I can DUMB it down. On Tuesday the 26th, I asked the General Manager what I should do? She told me to process Amazon Returns. Ten minutes later, I had a Panic Attack and left.

What did we say about checking WebMD? Hell, what did we decide on making excuses? The biggest question is, what am I going to do with my life? As the song goes, I can’t live my life this way. What, in fear, am I afraid? How come I’m scared so GODDAM ALWAYS! Pardon the language Lady Luna, but this isn’t like The Eve of a Cherry. Not like I kept track of all the F-Bombs in that. Speaking of which, it’s Cherry’s Birthday on the 28th. Only did I mention her in any conversations before this one. Happy Birthday, Cherry. There’s so much to keep track of, My Lady. That’s how I was feeling Tuesday. My emotions were shot to Hell besides my fear and my anger. It was like being back in school, and the two bullies have my cap throwing it between them. Yeah, so I like hoodies.

So how do I feel right now? Why don’t you tell me, Lady Luna, how one schedules a mental breakdown? Do I talk about today, being Wednesday? The rest of the week, or what should be Saturday? Now my stomach’s in knots, the week hopefully employed, Saturday angry. No wonder I’m so tired? During the day, I’m running, from my father, from the Day Job, and even my bed. Of course, I’m sitting here right now talking to you. You could say I’m living the dream, beautiful girl in my bed, conversation, a good song. Dreaming… I have to fill my head with everything from well all the above. Money, writers I’ve read, excuses, music, Jeff Daniels, birthdays, Bobby Hill, more. I track everything because, in my real life, we’re just Dancing In The Dark.

Or running my Lady Luna, wouldn’t you say. Tired, Scared of Will The Track Star.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 333 ~Will’s Soggy Runaway Letter~

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A Twist With My “Anxiety.” Sorry that song Twist In My Sobriety has been playing in my head a while. I didn’t work at Arby’s or Wendy’s long enough to have a leaving song. With Target, it was “Marissa Flashback.” Will’s Soggy Runaway Letter in retail

Friday, May 29, 2020

Log 333 ~Will’s Soggy Runaway Letter~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I better be if this keeps up. Begin at the start, but you know I’m no one for writing rules. Okay, so today is actually Tuesday, May 26, so yeah, you’ll read about this, three days into the future. Do I even have a future… we’ll have to see sometime this week, won’t we? So I’ve never gotten around to writing a suicide note, never written a resignation. I’m sure it’s a sin I’ve never written a thank you card. There’s never a time right, or I’m always busy. Stuffing bags, balling fists, writing you.

It started with a written schedule, “Operations.” I have no clue what that is even after eight years. If anything, I wrote it off as an easy day. It wasn’t Home & Kids or Shoes. STUPID is determined to take the “Number One Spot” as the song goes. Now I was STUPID, which was enough, but I made it to heights unimaginable. I finished “organizing” bath towels and asked the General Manager where to next. Well, she said Amazon Returns. Oh, the things I’ve bought off Amazon, but I’ve never wanted to work there. The nice woman at the desk explains it to me and what happened next? Arby’s for one day, Wendy’s another, and Target, I absolutely refused. Lady Sophia, this is against every motivation, every speaker, and my life plans but ahem. I CAN’T breathes two little words.

Why not one word, ANXIETY. It was overwhelming Lady Sophia. Hell, I push buttons all the time like right now. With a push, I CAN build A Whole New World, believe in myself there. Blow it up if I need to, but in reality, all I did was run. As fast as I could go. However, there was also ANGER. I was DUMB enough to ask the boss a question. Yes, I do have a thesaurus My Lady, but that’s not the point. I stood there and let her say whatever she wanted. I sit here now angry for my running. Of course, I could go Fear leads to Anger. For now, I’m attempting to use the Anger to mask the fear. I’ve been trying for days but that cue Reboot song the FIREWALL came crumbling down today. In sweat, spit, and soggy rainy weather.

No tears, this isn’t goodbye but Will’s Soggy Runaway Letter.

To Will’s Most Hated Words:

  1. Stupid
  2. Skeevy
  3. Fear
  4. Anxiety
  5. Merge
  6. Happy
  7. Family-Friendly
  8. Just Kidding
  9. Tease
  10. Freak
  11. Lazy
  12. Sucks

I Will Have No Fear…

Log 332 ~Breast To Come Will~

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I’m a simple kinda man but maybe not as the song goes, because do you know what I want more than bucks, bullion, and bottled water though that might be making a come back if things get better. “Breast To Come Will.”

Thursday, May 28, 2020

Log 332 ~Breast To Come Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m paying for anyone’s boob job. Not even Dennis Hof was that generous. As much as I respect the man, I don’t know whether to believe him or Cami Parker, but I’m not giving a book review. Well, maybe a bit on Succubus Lord but not really. You see, I’m one of those people that believe everything happens for a reason. I can’t tell you why I’m into brunettes or the baby doll look of “The Innocence Of Youth,” “Daddy’s Little Doll.” There’s something about BREASTS.

Well more the lack of Tits, Jugs, Knockers. Cans, Dirty Mom Tits, etc. Only this morning, I was bringing up girls with zero to minor boobs. Isn’t it ironic that a girl with huge melons makes me dream of girls with none? Don’t ask me what it is. I mean simply put I’ve always liked Rebecca, Anaa/Alissa, Niquee, and Eileen’s bodies. Remind me, with all my billions to take a trip to Russia. I hate Trump, know nothing about Putin, but I love Yabbos of all shapes and sizes. My son is the same way, four legs and all. I even had to have a talk with him. To keep him off Indiana Gone’s pair at one point. I miss Karlee Grey’s as well. Though being honest, I let my Onlyfans lapse without a second thought. It’s the breasts I almost see or never; I miss the most. Cherry can tell you something about that.

Is that why I’m all into Call me a Legend. I know Dirty Diana. I’m still playing that knowing I’ll never see tits, virtual or otherwise still. It’s like a nicotine patch for smokers. The game gives me something else to do besides salivate. You don’t know how HARD it is to write about one of my favorite subjects in the world. Something so soft and then when you get to have fun with them. Anyway, as the song goes ahem, Diamonds and guns, DIAMONDS And GUNS as Call me a Legend has plenty of.

Only you know I’ll never quit huge Dirty Pillows. Yes, I want to fuck Carrie too, Chloë Grace Moretz edition. Her’s aren’t huge, but Boobalicious/Milk Junkie, whoa Mama. Here I thought I’d mention more Succubus Lord. Succubi, Superbia, Libidine, and Cupiditas. Boobies everywhere Dirty Diana the Breast To Come Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 331 ~The Writes Of Will~

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I keep telling myself that writing is going to save me. One of my books, perhaps? Maybe someone will finally discover my blog and not think of me as a psychopath. For now, it’s a note by the time clock. The Writes Of Will

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Log 331 ~The Writes Of Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and lie or not, I don’t want to be right now; lying. I mean, I don’t want to be jealous, flushed with cash, or sick. If you’re wishing for a goodnight’s sleep Inspector Echo, don’t check your Day Job before bed. I swear my “best” writing never happens at night. Now I know this is Lady Sophia’s calling. Only in a month or so, I’ll be celebrating my return to writing aka Lesson 001 ~Look Who Grossed Up~. I haven’t thought about that “Basic Bitch” in forever but as Herger the Joyous in The 13th Warrior:

“It’s all right, little brother… there are more!” ― Herger the Joyous, The 13th Warrior

More women… you have no idea how difficult it was not to use another “W.” Indeed, more words, more wickedness. So why didn’t I, you ask. Well, I know my Bible, Miss. I’m a man of God without a savior, as a particular song alluded to. I still pray for my son every day. Speaking of words that remind me, revile me or give me regrets, what is it about a “concept” like DAY? I knew a girl named “Day.” How I still love Rainey Summer Day, from The Five by Lily White. Only it’s like my addiction asks, “what will we do today?” After Class Lesson, Anna Vlasova/Alissa, and Eileen Kelly, aka Dawn Lora McKay in The Eve of a Cherry. Oh yeah, what about my novel? Am I ashamed that I use girls I know in my writing? Upset, I killed off, “Dawnie?” That Cherry inspired it, and I haven’t spoken to her?

“For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.” Psalm 84:10, the Bible

All I write about, I lose. The Law of Attraction being what it is, I should watch my tongue. Hell, I should watch my time considering the Day Job. One more piece of writing I have to do. Home and Kids, Shoes, my schedule, I only have two write one word. NO, or as the song goes, Hell Naw! Isn’t that what I always say when it comes to writing book reviews? I’ve only realized now I said I love Rainey and the book in general. What about Raphael and Succubus Lord? I am ashamed of the things that I’m not writing today. Inspector Echo, I am SORRY that I ruined my night. Forgive me for now hating the Basic Bitch. I apologize for my views on women and not doing better for my son.

Defending The Writes Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 330 ~Silence Of The Will~

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I would like for a woman to tell me she loves me, well besides my mother, or my grandmother’s dog way back in “MY” day. The question is, would I ever get such words out myself, especially with everything going on. “Silence Of The Will”

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Log 330 ~Silence Of The Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, do me a favor and ask me how. On one side of the coin, I’m like Yuri Orlov. I never want to keep what I do away from you. If you look at the other I’m Andy Dufresne, I’m a hard man to know. I’ve never seen The Silence of the Lambs, I hear it’s classic.

Have I scared you yet? We’ve discussed things like this from time to time, haven’t we? Pillow talk, like how I can’t stand most crime dramas like that. Give me zombies, sci-fi, sex, as the song goes “Gimme fuel, Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire. I want to talk to you. At the same time, I want to be quiet, not mad, not upset, not lost. Only to have the silence like some anime character, or like one of those Japanese series. I want to lie in your lap like something out of Gokusen, perhaps. I haven’t thought of that show in ages. It’s a bit funny that as everyone is coming outside, I only want to retreat back into our house. I want to watch films and stream everything under the sun. One more reason we own a private beach. I’m not sorry for any of this, and that’s why I love you.

I tell My Dæmon, every day that I’m sorry… shows what kind of father I am. The thing is he doesn’t understand the words, doesn’t care, but he stays beside me all the time. Without one word, he knows if I’m happy, sad, or angry. Yeah, I keep digging that hole comparing you to our furry son. It could be the fact that again I’m repeating myself from before. The noise of the world coming back alive is getting to me. It’s why my libraries, ladies, and love must be louder. To put it in another way, I love you to DEAF, wouldn’t you say?

No, I’m one for the lame jokes. What’s real is that I Love You. Now I could say that forever with or without the mask. I’ll admit with the Coronavirus (COVID-19) running rampant, it’s easier. Such is my vanity or the need for pain, though I want to be Peeta instead of Gale. Would that make you my Katniss, baby doll? I’ll smile small, eat big, For The Love Of You. Silence Of The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 329 ~Words Destroy More Than Bombs~

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I’m always so concerned with zombies that I barely notice the Coronavirus (COVID-19). I should do better, but it’s the words of everyone around me minus the lady talking about my dog that destroy me. Words Destroy More Than Bombs.

Monday, May 25, 2020

Log 329 ~Words Destroy More Than Bombs~

Hundred And Thirty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s because of this rule. Funny, I don’t quote it more often, but that’s because I’m still focused on Rule One. I Will Have No Fear. For the record, I should add FEAR to my most hated words. Also, while I’m on the subject of lists, this would be in my top five reasons to be a writer. Rule Thirteen states, Power Is All That Matters. I still believe this, and Rules 19 and 84 say respectively, “LOVE Is A Great Power,” and “There’s Power In The Dollar.” In words, though, Madam Justice lies the greatest.

Last week and the start of this one SIGH, I notice how I silenced Cherry. Not only in my novel’s pages but indeed everyday life. I didn’t even need to use a ball gag, dammit. It seems my blessing and my curse. Hell, who knows I could be wrong all around as per my usual. I eat up the time talking to you and the other girls. When have I worked on either of my stories again? The only thing I write more is a litany of excuses, and yes, I’m back to blaming the Day Job. My recent humiliations stem from three words, “Home and Kids.” Now, if I wanted to kill myself, I would go right back to bed. I would let the disease, which is my words fester and finish. It’s like out of Pontypool. Did I ever tell you I’m a fan of chemical and biological warfare? Must be Greed, but anyway, words are a disease.

So is there a vaccine, what’s the cure? You inoculate with others Madam Justice. How many times have I brought up Succubus Lord by Eric Vall? I read his and other Harem Romances. Oh, to enjoy the title Sex Zombies. To read “Lolita” to even say the word, I listen to “Taboo” Fetishes with Alice. Again I think of my works. If my characters have a voice and can speak the things I can’t. The ability to create a world, a history of my design. I can build A Whole New World to hide in or better, I could become Godlike; my such grand designs. If only I said NO to Home and Kids, NO to my STUPIDITY, just NO.

Peace and Quiet. Forgive me Madam Justice but Fucking SILENCE, Words Destroy More Than Bombs.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 328 ~Well Hell, Oh Will~

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If there is some positivity to be shared, I’m not a STUPID Republican. I’ll wear a mask, but I am annoyed at temperature checks because I’m always so hot * bum dum tss*. I run hot out of anger, chicks, or embarrassment. “Well Hell, Oh Will”

Sunday, May 24, 2020

Log 328 ~Well Hell, Oh Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I wear whatever I want. It’s like every day the Day Job finds new ways to make me a bigger sinner. Maybe that’s why my “sexual exploits” never bother me. Okay, that’s a lie, but that’s more concerning everyone else’s delicate sensibilities. Now, of course, this is more Inspector Echo’s wheelhouse, but I guess I need a bit of confession today. So if it ain’t Sex, it’s SOUL, STUPIDITY, and SLOTH. Now, what about WRATH and again LUST? As the song goes, gotta give it up to get off sometimes.

That shouldn’t mean your soul, though, your passion. Take some nights back, what time did I get to sleep? Hell, what about the day, the things I do to keep the Day Job? I still believe the worse thing is someone destroying your SOUL, and here I am, killing myself. Oh, then wait, um, why are you sitting here reading this right now.

“Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain,” ― D’Hoffryn, Buffy

Stupidity, well yeah, but we don’t have all day, so let’s stick with women make you dumb. Do we go with the pretty girl’s cart you stole the other day? Oh, I know how about not talking to Cherry? And as always, there’s the NO FAP Challenge. Hell, that’s the one thing that doesn’t make me lazy, trying to avoid porn like the plague. Here I was this week thinking all the pretty cosplayers were blocking me. I’m still playing Call me a Legend and reading Succubus Lord. I heard the show “Normal People” was mad at PornHub. No time for you know my Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day This Week
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord by Eric Vall
    Completed

I’m making the bed only to screw it up as soon as I return. Now you might think, why am I putting you through all this? I’m not suicidal. You know what makes you a great sadist… that you’re a decent masochist. I just read “10 Signs You Might Be A Masochist: Traits, Behaviors & More.” I scored seven out of ten, and that won’t be changing anytime soon. It’s Hell, you know, answer me this. Why is it that you enter the Day Job, well most of life and you’re burning up? How stupid is it to carry fire into Hell? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making My Bed, Every Day This Week
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late by Colleen Hoover

Here’s the answer, the ninth circle is frozen over; TREACHERY. It’s betrayal and of who? Yourself, burn to stop, necessary sins, Well Hell, Oh Will.

I Will Have No Fear