Gospel 203 ~We Will Go Home~

Last week I had no idea I’d be here. It’s Sunday while I’m writing this but ask me what I wish. Come this time Wednesday, I’ll be right here. My furry Imp napping, finally posting this, with YouTube in the background. We Will Go Home, I believe.

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Gospel 203 ~We Will Go Home~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but honest to God, I would give it all up to be right here. What in the grand ole U.S. of A? I haven’t forgotten that today is Inauguration Day. You’ll have to forgive me for being a selfish S.O.B., not new. How about time-travel, hmm? It’s still Sunday, so I have traveled now three days into the future. Why. That’s the thing I can’t tell you, I’m not STUPID. I also know the laws better than Trump. Ok, at least I have the decency to look them up, unlike some.

Now, did I really say that I would give up a billion dollars to be in bed? Well, at the moment, on the loveseat in my den, going crazy with worry. I swear Inspector Echo, I haven’t written this much in ages and why. You know I can never do good, so yeah, Great Fear. It’s a Fear that I can’t share even with you and the girls. I’ve talked to Madam Justice, Dear Future Wife, and now you, again on a Sunday. I’m sorry to say, writing, blogging, yeah, graffiti with punctuation, doesn’t feel much like home. A rush to judgment, um, ok, yep. I might as well be sitting inside a prison already. If I’m here come Wednesday, I’ll still be scared. When I got carted off to detention so many years ago, geez. To think that would be my life for who knows how long and then like that, I was free.

Call it scared straight, Echo? I think I even gave my life to God at one point, eww. Who was it that said, a man facing a noose will do whatever to save his neck? Now back with my Olds, ok beat anything I ever knew of the Heaven, Paradise. So many names and such. However, I’m going to Hell one way or another. If I wanted to do good, and I mean now, make the world a better place, I know what I should do. You see something, say something. Trump didn’t call the F.B.I. and Inspector; let’s say we know our countries well. I want to congratulate President Biden and Vice-President Harris. Yet come this time Wednesday, I want to be here, the country at war or not. I’d take Status Quo Freedom.

Detention, Studio, Olds, or Day Job. We Will Go Home

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 196 ~Obsessive, Contagious, Addicted, Will~

A round of applause to the alarm clock, but you want to know what got me up this morning? Nope, and if I told the whole truth, well, I’d be as bad as whoever looked up such and such on my blog, finding nothing. “Obsessive, Contagious, Addicted, Will”

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Gospel 196 ~Obsessive, Contagious, Addicted, Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that can be forgiven or buys forgiveness. At the very least makes people forgetful. Of course, I apologize to you, my Dæmon, one day I should add my mother. Hell, sometimes I think about the whole world for being an addict. So what am I addicted to? What would I know about it in the first place? If anything, what am I sorry for today? Oh, let me add one more AHEM; why can’t I forgive myself? I should be thrilled right that I actually got up at 4:00 AM.

How did I spend the first forty minutes? Inspector Echo, it’s like keeping a bottle in the house. The man who tucks a cigarette behind his ear “JIC” (Just In Case). I’m like Pookie in New Jack City. Wanting to do good but putting me in a room with… everything. Inspector, I tell you all the time it’s how I want to spend my life. I want to produce stories, movies, “inspirations” like I’ve been looking up all morning. God, I want businesses that employ the likes of Alice Little and Jill Kassidy. The idea of that starts every morning. Jesus, it’s what I have to think of to keep from falling back asleep. It’s not that I don’t love reading, which I did after those first forty minutes. Now didn’t I say I love money, but that didn’t keep me at the Day Job for two more hours now, did it? I am incorrigible.

Only again, I keep saying it could be worse. Being 19 days in, I’m heading into my angry stage. You stay clean the first week, and it does get easier, but yeah, I’m still lost. So why am I laying all the guilt on now? Bringing up Alice Little, I’m still upset about her case. Now it could be the fact that, as you know, I’ve been cleaning out my phone. Then I found pictures of such and such. I did talk about A Different Alchemy by Chris Dietzel. Jeffery is still lamenting about the passing of his son Galen. Dammit, I could be keeping busy. Reading up on the loss of Alice’s livelihood. I should have headed her way long ago. Instead, I’m sick and twisted with many ideas.

At least it’s not Covid or drugs; still, I’m… remember positivity, Obsessive, Contagious, Addicted, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 189 ~Don’t Count On Will~

Being a black man in America, I’m not a statistic… I got up early, six instead of ten, you can thank my furbaby for that. The stimulus came through yesterday but besides my kid, my day job, and car people where’s the money going? Don’t Count On Will.

Wednesday, January 6, 2021

Gospel 189 ~Don’t Count On Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which must mean I hate you. Well, I don’t think that way about you, Inspector Echo, or any of the other girls. Okay, so the Man in the Mirror, but as I’ve been saying ad nauseam, it’s a New Year. I’m working on myself… I’m trying.
The thing is, I’m asking myself, am I too late? If it isn’t the money, then it’s been my age these days. I’m 36, and if I were to tell you all the things I haven’t done, even this morning. As the song goes, “Time, time, time. See what’s become of me.” Money, Age, Time…

I could wrap that all around my favorite subject in the whole wide world. Well, after my Dæmon, of course. Looks like my Imp’s going to get that vet appointment anyway. Geez, right after I got my stimulus payment. Republican Idiocracy tendencies, “I Like Money.”

Okay, so my favorite subject, I swear I have missed out on so much. When it comes to… well, how do I say this and remain a nice guy? Again I support artists and, in the same breath, thieves. Even with the motherlode of “artwork,” I’ve I miss out on galleries, gathering, and grabbing up all I can. Do you remember after the last Pinterest Suspension/Purge, I was upset about a specific board I lost? I found a few pieces of it the other day but not the whole thing. I would say I find nothing more annoying but that would make me a liar. It’s like finding the perfect “movie” and not being able to download it. How about what happened to such and such a website? What about being so anxious for something and then having it snatched away with fear? Mine… hers?

“A half-read book is a half-finished love affair.’” Cloud Atlas

I feel like Nicolas Cage/Yuri Orlov; I’m always five minutes too early or five minutes late. Being black, I was taught to be early always. As for being a man, I was taught “nice guys finish last” (12 Days, fingers crossed). I’m forever a day late, a dollar short, that is if I want something. I hate being late for the Day Job. Now I love my Dæmon like pancakes, but I got out of bed not by “force of will” but because my son needed me, meds, cleaning, potty.

Hate has my number, but love… Don’t Count On Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 182 ~Humiliation’s A Number Will~

One day I swear I’m going to sit in a room and type all day, pocket my cash, and send an army of mercs to silence anybody sending me spam… well, that got dark pretty quickly. “Humiliation’s A Number Will,” and next year I want it to be zero

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Gospel 182 ~Humiliation’s A Number Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so um, I still hate Math? Considering I’ve taken no sick days or vacation days. There’s the concept of dinner around here, becoming a big event. I have a yearly eye exam, which is the extent of my medical care. Yep, I still hate my teeth. Okay, say it with me, “This Is America,” how about I am a “Real American.” You’ll have to excuse me, Inspector Echo. The Stimulus Talk and my usual complaints, numbers have been on my brain. With enough cash, humiliation doesn’t matter, enough not to count.

Let’s start with me and My Dæmon. I’m 36, goddammit, my son’s 15. Now I’m trying to stay clean, Inspector Echo when I talk to you, but I’ll put the question out there. When’s the last time I’ve had sex? Meanwhile is the Dæmon living the life, meds, food, yes… However, he could have more, but where’s the money going? Let’s say I’m “supporting” three artists. Depends on how you define art. I can’t tell you how much I’ve spent on the random “expressions.” Or how about the money that went towards “Capital A” SIGH. Well, make more money, you say; how long have I been at the Day Job? Nine years, Inspector, taking orders. And each and every day there, I’m either depressed, destructive or damned. What about all the money I paid to not publish a book now?

I mentioned Capital A, but how many women have stopped talking to me this year alone? I’m going to say three, but even that’s a shot in the dark. Better to keep my mouth shut, but tomorrow, of course, is The Closing of the Year. Pop Culture is much served. While fighting off my addictions. You know within Six Impossible Things, “5 Days” so far. Doing everything to keep my mind occupied, and you see how that’s going. Remember, I had to wipe my phone of such and such, still leaving six thousand pictures altogether. Again I think about writing three NaNoWriMos between two camps and November. Four hundred words daily for the year is around 146,000 or nearly three NaNoWriMos. Not one dollar earned doing what I love still.

Before I forget, two Pinterest accounts are gone. Another “explicit” account wrecked. More sugar daddy/momma accounts blocked between Whisper and Goodreads. Big numbers Inspector Echo still Humiliation’s A Number Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 175 ~Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday…~

Every day, “How are you,” another day, even with Emergence, or Free Candy, and what about Christmas. When I get massive amounts of green one day, I’d like to think I can afford to bring a tree inside. I can now but Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday yep

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Gospel 175 ~Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday…~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now and still making one more dollar cue Homer drool. Now you know I’m not one for the holidays. Long story short, PEOPLE. During this time of the year, you might call me Mr. Grinch, Scrooge, or “Cross.” Didn’t care for “Scrooged.” Bless Indiana Gone for trying her best. She did send me a Christmas card. Now don’t tell her I told you, but she did forget about MY “Emergence Day.” Okay, so that’s the point, hmm. I never tell anyone. Hers is Star Wars Day, oh, um, a good holiday ha.

Anyway, so I say people, but I should also say with money, things get complicated. Take now, It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, as they say. Yesterday I envisioned the Christmastime I hope to share with my family someday. Okay, one day, motivations. However, I shared the truth of my current situation. There isn’t a tree up, no lights, no wrapped gifts, we’ll get to that. There isn’t any “Roast Beast” in the fridge. Truth is, I’m still living, for the most part, with leftover Turkey. I don’t mean to complain so much. Inspector Echo, I have money. Is it all this talk in the news lately about stimulus this and that? The idea that I’m beginning to believe Serra Hyundai (assholes) pardon my French has been lying to me. My biggest shame is that I haven’t even bought my Dæmon a gift.

I shouldn’t talk about gifts because that reminds me of Emergence Day. Hell, I should probably put Gears of War on my Wish List. Okay, you already know that Emergence Day is the worst day of my life, and it’s why I spend most of it in hiding, hating life. Now, if I cared to make a list of worst holidays, after Emergence and Christmas would be Valentine’s Day. What, am I trying to be in love at some point. And again, I’m not exactly buying gifts, AHEM, two. Let’s not put women and any money in the same idea. Where will that lead to? Besides wanting a family and what about taking kids to trick or treat. I don’t need little monsters at my door when kids scare the crap out of me anyway.

So I’m keeping people away and money in my pocket. I don’t need the ghosts for Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 168 ~Will Finds That Alarming~

Last week was about taking it easy, and I still am, but I want to wake up and actually do something. I mean, besides reading Dani Wyatt (nothing against her). Or clean out my phone, 6000 photos and 98% of them are… Will Finds That Alarming.

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Gospel 168 ~Will Finds That Alarming~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and the idea of making more money never gets old. If I ever had that much, I would do right by my mom. Happy Birthday, Mom! Not that I’ll ever let her read this, but I will have to text her sometime today. Being Wayward Progeny. Now that would be a cool band name. Good ideas like making money are terrific, yet they don’t keep me awake. So my first sin for today. When I have to go to the Day Job, I set five different alarms. On days like this, I start one, and here we are again, talking late.

Okay, so it’s Ten A.M., but you know our conversation won’t be over by Eleven. No, I’m going to work on something I like, and it’s not writing. Yes, “that thing,” and I’m getting dangerously close to the edge. Let’s say I’m cleaning out my phone. The last time… sigh. Speaking of both good and bad things. Eric Vall’s books keep me awake, but it’s the holidays. Now, as I was waiting for my Dæmon to wake up, I began another Christmas story from Dani Wyatt. Um, There are far too many holidays to make this a big deal. Inspector Echo, I need to stop with certain trigger words. Again there is something else that will wake me up most mornings and keep me going far into the night. One more reason I want to make it my life’s work. I wouldn’t waste a second of getting to live life.

Not in FEAR. There was an upheaval a few days ago. I swear, I thought I had been hacked, but many of the users I saw reported the same thing. Besides the Day Job, my Dæmon’s life, so many secrets, breaking my SIX. Geez, there’s so much, too much FEAR. Hell, just now, I heard a sound downstairs, so I grabbed my “steel” and went to investigate. Every time I even touch that gun, it scares me for three reasons:

  1. I don’t like having it around.
  2. I like the feel of it, and I want more guns.
  3. I’m getting used to it.

Inspector, I did mention my Dæmon a few times today. Any sound he makes immediately gets my attention. I love him like pancakes, always Echo.

Someday my life won’t need alarms. Will Finds That Alarming

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 161 ~Will Takes A Break~

Another week, another Christmas book, or more a novella. What am I taking a break from reading anything real? Says the man who’s been lost in Eric Vall’s novels? What else have I been doing besides sleeping, hmm? “Will Takes A Break,” again

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Gospel 161 ~Will Takes A Break~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be “EVIL…” The other day I read something to the tune of a billionaire is like a dragon hoarding wealth. Add to my list of things to do; sleeping on a pile of money. That’s me taking a break. I only sleep. Don’t worry, Inspector Echo. If last night was any sign. When it comes to talking to you and the girls, I’m like Edward Cullen meets Bella Swan. We’ll get into books in a minute or later. It’s almost 6:00 PM, meaning it’s time for some Far Cry 5 and WWE.

Now I talked about the DRAGON and all, but here’s something else. Idle hands are the Devil’s playthings. Again I’m getting back into gaming because I have to give myself things to do. You must be thinking, “killing cultists?” Well, they ain’t MAGA hats, hmm? Okay, that was pretty dark but, don’t ask me to go darker. I still think about that book from K Webster from time to time. I imagine I would have liked such a thing once. For now, it creeps me out what occurred at the end. Oh, and the 2nd comes out in a month. I’m thankful I finished “Sinning The Cherry On Top,” but you don’t know what it’s like. I hate not working on it, and the conclusion, and then picking it up again. Once I thought it was the reason that I couldn’t get to bed at a decent time. So what did I do last night?

Well, I mean besides talking to Madam Justice and finally getting to bed around 4:00 AM? Let’s say starting that morning is a blur, and I literally can’t talk about it. Yet again, my Republican tendencies of knowing, wanting honesty, but I won’t utter anything. Sadly, I won’t be completing my Six Impossible Things. You can take your pick on the number except if it’s six. I’m reading another Christmas story, a novella. Inspector Echo, you can call me lazy for all the breaks I’ve been taking. Indulging within procrastination. Only now, I’m trying to hide away from life, from knowing right and wrong. And of course, from the Day Job that breaks me more than anything and yet I go don’t I, my schedule.

A lucky break ain’t coming, and I’m sorry I believed such. Will Takes A Break

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 154 ~For Will, The Holidays~

This time last week, I was scared to death of going into the “Day Job.” Now I feel the whole month of December is going to be that fear mixed with everything. Yet today, I started a Christmas book on top of being worried about… For Will, The Holidays

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Gospel 154 ~For Will, The Holidays~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This means during the season of giving, I should be out somewhere. How long did it take me to get from the bed to the loveseat in the den? Inspector Echo, I said I would get to bed before midnight? Well, that was a “damn” lie. Okay, take a breath, remember gratitude. As with most days, I’m discombobulated, even more so today, but at least I remembered it’s Wednesday, so small favors. I saved my Dæmon from getting his nail caught in his collar… Yes, a trip for grooming is coming.

It’s not like my Imp has any place to show off, though. As for me, I want to go back to bed and start reading my next Eric Vall novel. However, it is December. I must keep reminding myself of the time today. So here I have a bit of a confession. I HATE CHRISTMAS.

Now that seems harsh, and again, I should be grateful. Not stealing Lady Sophia’s shine, but I’m glad that the sequel to that K Webster novel I read isn’t out. I lack the guts to go back to A.J. Markam titles. I’m heavy into Eric Vall’s books, my absolute favorites. Echo, what does this have to do with me hating the holidays? As a matter of fact, my form of celebrating is reading Christmas stories… with other elements mixed in. Currently, I’m reading something from Abby Knox. But yeah, the 4th circle of Hell SIGH.

When I was a child Inspector Echo, I never imagined life would turn out like this. I would help my mother trim the tree. My “father” and I would decorate the house. I would wake my sister up at 6:00 AM. Hell, I was unboxing my N64 before Christmas… sorry. Nowadays, Scrooge, the Grinch, I’ve never seen Krampus, but I want to subscribe to its newsletter. Let’s say, I understand. I’m trying Echo, I am.

Again I read Christmas books, I have a Spotify holiday playlist. They’re a few Christmas classics I like. Still nothing. Of course, I’ll be talking more about this, but today it’s been a rush of things. NaNoWriMo ended, and I hate my story. The Dæmon is getting older, and I’m worried. Grammarly hit me hard. Yeah, pardon my language but eff you, Grammarly. Thanksgiving leftovers.

Most wonderful time, Bah Humbug, sorry. For Will, The Holidays.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 147 ~Will Vs. St. Patrick~

Last week didn’t I say something about MAGA Hats? Now I want to punch myself for wearing a green hoody. Money green as the Day Job puts it. More like sickly green I hate getting out of bed. How far is Ireland to start a new life. Will Vs. St. Patrick

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Gospel 147 ~Will Vs. St. Patrick~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I should be used to green. Do you remember when I said I’m done with McDonald’s after getting food poisoning… how many times? Anyway, I needed a snack after going out today, and no, it was not by any choice, ha-ha. Inspector, I believe it was Kermit who said it ain’t easy being green. Still, I would rather be rich than sick. I want to be wealthy than jealous of every little thing. Killmonger said it must feel good. Tonight as with most nights, I’m exhausted with minimal effort, yeah.

Pondering, what does any of this have to do with St. Patrick? From a quick read, he is the patron saint of Ireland, and he’s known to have banished snakes. Talk about not doing my research right. All I know is, I bought two green hoodies today, both for the Day Job, no fun ever. Of “Two Of The Lucky Ones,” no, I’m not one. Neither am I the Fortunate One. For damn sure, I wish I was dressed like “The One.” Yes, I know Grammarly is going to ding my ask for saying one so many times. If I were a good writer, I wouldn’t be suffering right now. Yes, I’m being a bit dramatic, but “Humiliations Galore” are becoming a way of life. Okay, I should stop talking about them, but I need something to sing about to get to bed sometime soon. Or I could and should stop lying to NaNoWriMo and having to make up counts.

Now I always do Inspector Echo. If you add in what I meant to do last night and tonight, well damn, we are looking at three-thousand, so I should be proud. Nope, because I still have to read; I only hope Goodreads counts the paltry amount I read only tonight. Nothing I have been doing has qualified me for sainthood. Spending everything on Eric Vall because I’m still scared of A.J. Markam and especially K Webster. You don’t know how hard I was fighting such terror at the Day Job. Okay, I failed plenty, Inspector. Nothing of this line of thinking holds any weight on St. Patrick. I only know Saint’s Row and St. Raphael as I put him in my novel. Please don’t ask me why ever Inspector Echo.

I’m just sorry and tired… sick? Will Vs. St. Patrick

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 140 ~Willing By The Days~

What day is it again? Now those MAGA Hats can, in the words of DX, “Suck It.” At the moment, I’m all for MWGA… doesn’t have the same ring. Not to mention I can’t remember the last time I felt great. “Willing By The Days”

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Gospel 140 ~Willing By The Days~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that’s not why I forgot about you. If anything, I’m forgetting what it feels like to be okay. One of my motivations says, “You did not wake up today to be mediocre.” How I can say at this moment, why yes I did Inspector. Yesterday or today at four in the morning, I planned on doing a great many things. I need a haircut; I should go shopping as everyone is in an uproar. Now it ain’t all bad. I did do 1,900 words. I got my Imp to take his meds for once but will he again? No humiliations.

Now they will come, Inspector Echo. We’re heading into Thanksgiving next week. Can you believe that I actually remembered that? If I think I’m wiped out right about now, I’m in trouble, I’m in real big trouble, as the song goes. Endure and Survive, right? Inspector Echo, the thing is, I’m not sure I want to. No, as always, I’m not suicidal. Only I can’t name a whole lot of stuff that is bringing me joy right now. I have Eric Vall, but his books are saying, expect a twist. I fall asleep to Far Cry 5 stories, reviews, walkthroughs. Fighting my addictions are a bitch, pardon my French. I don’t have anything to be bragging about, and again I have my story to write. So here I am fighting for the days to fly-by, and I only have myself to blame for this mess.

Of course, I could stop, at this second, I want to lie in bed and do nothing. The good news is tonight I won’t be going to bed at 4:00 AM yet again. The bad news is, what will I be doing this weekend. I have a chance to catch up now. I could even do it tonight, but um? Yeah, that’s right. I’ll make promises, and then I’ll cut off my alarm and go right back to sleep. Oh, except for my occupation that’s going to treat me like garbage and make me despise myself. I keep going through Hell, and it’s much bigger than I could ever imagine. Strangely hate isn’t as strong as I hoped, and don’t talk to me about love right now, Inspector Echo. Sorry.

I get back to you only to be down on myself? Willing By The Days

I Will Have No Fear