Tag: Big

Gospel 258 ~On Braxton’s Big Day~

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I’m not the man I was. The man I was before Braxton… can’t say I miss him. To be full of love and then, I don’t know it doesn’t vanish. He’s like the source and like a lake or his water bowl I sit; life but going nowhere. “On Braxton’s Big Day.”

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Gospel 258 ~On Braxton’s Big Day~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but Braxton… he was the best, destined to be my best man, big brother, but bye?

Best man is by far my selection for him. Only four women ever won his heart. So it’s no coincidence that I love (or am especially fond of them as well). Of course, one of them was you. Hell, if he had lived to see the women are girls would grow up to be someday. Braxton loved his grandma, although she forgot him here or there. Like father like son. His aunt and/or his first mom… I know that sounds weird to say; insert a southern joke here. I’ve told you about Indiana Gone and how he jumped all over her resulting in “The Talk.” He really liked her, but when it came to you, it was like “this one.” B didn’t steer me wrong.

Big brother is watching you. I remember when he knew he would have siblings. I believe he loved watching the beans grow more than French fries, cheese, and hot dogs combined. He was easy to forgive now that he wasn’t growling about lunch/dinner sharing habits. It was always a promise between him and me. A daddy, a mommy, a brother, a sister, another sister. You and I, My Love, kept at it. Braxton never complained. If I had my old Day Job, he might have lost his mind, but B was the one who could come to my new job. It was one thing to be kept out when you and I would… Now he’s trapped with the kids. Why he still has bed privileges.

“Bye Felicia,” I’m sure he wanted to say to you when he realized he lost a whole side of the bed. How about when I walk in with food, and he sees all the hands reaching for stuff. It’s called family. Braxton, you wanted one; I wanted the same. Take a look at me now.
“Bye, daddy, I have to go, look out for them, love them as I love you,” I ask you. My Love, have I done that. B isn’t here to play outside with the kids now, but what about me? B III had his favorite toy because I couldn’t bring myself to let the vet do “that” to him, um no. Best Man, Big Brother, Best friend but what about me?

Be the person your dog thinks you are? I wasn’t much before him, to be honest. Now it’s like I don’t feel like being anything. While I’m quoting the wise though, for you dear wifey, “a man provides” real enough. I have, I will, but like my father, that doesn’t only mean paying the bills. I won’t lie, you know how I have feared you would break my heart but Braxton… My firstborn, first love that loved me back, hell my first knight. When will I be “myself?” I’m sorry, I don’t know, baby girl. Still On Braxton’s Big Day

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Lesson 189 ~Need A Bigger Boat~

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Is a sin in the thought or the action, if anything for so few that I genuinely commit, Hell is growing pretty big, and what a way to start off a Happy New Year, am I right, not usually. “Need A Bigger Boat”; I’m not a shark, a devil or anything worse

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Lesson 189 ~Need A Bigger Boat~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, Hell takes a long time to build; call it a revelation, an epiphany, the ramblings of a desperate man perhaps, no, that’s what I’m discovering, that Heaven finds itself lost in despair that it damns us all. No, what I find Hell to be Lady Luna is greedy, and in that greed, you see other sins but also the ability to be selective and exclusive.

Honestly, what would I know, I’ve never been to a club though we can add that to my to-do list as in I want to own my adult dungeon someday, just another production brought to you by “Second Circle Creations.” So back to Hell, think the Cold War, nukes in the closet amongst other things. Everything we horde and we just pack it in only we need more room. Fear plus Hope equals courage, but if you asked me the definition of Hell at this moment and knowing me I have several, Hell is merely awaiting the greatest fear you’ll ever understand, doing so for all eternity and then some.

Maybe that’s what I’m doing these days, and the thing about it is, I consider myself an open person… careful, every time I think something like that I think of her when I hear the song “Something Just Like This,” when I cast her in the center of Cocytus, and even with the current news. You see Luna just because there is a stairway to Heaven and a highway to Hell doesn’t mean you’ll find your way in which is why I feel Hell must constantly expand and Heaven, well, I don’t know, but we hide our sins don’t we? I’m trying not to anymore, “trying,” I informed “Indiana Gone” I feel strange saying try, no I do, then again.

I remember when my sins were small enough to hide in a trashcan on one slip of paper and look at me now, I have books full of secrets, my sins scattered across the Internet, a closet full of clothes just waiting for some girl to fill them. Luna, it’s cold outside, so why am I burning up right now?

So what have I learned today, I’m picky when it comes to women, secrets, the life I choose to lead but I don’t know what to blame for my loneliness though I have plenty of room and yet even with everything I have cut off and deleted. Somehow I think we Need A Bigger Boat.

I Will Have No Fear