Gospel 199 ~Black And Blue Will~

Now I’m sure I talked about my Dæmon last week but what about me? Am I ever so selfish? More like another dreaded S-Word, and of course, there’s another word that might offer some release. Food, Fun, um… Nah. Black and Blue Will

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Gospel 199 ~Black And Blue Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how can that be true when I got eight hours of sleep last night. Even now, my eyes are still red. So um, more excuses? Don’t mind if I do. I would say my mind is in gray fog, but no, I’m crystal clear on what I want. Yet another reason I’m talking to you so late. It’s not COVID as the song goes… “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.” This brings me to the red, white, and blue? How about my STUPIDITY of BLM. Black Lives Matter or Blue Lives Matter, oh duh, am I right?

Now I apologize that Black and Blue doesn’t have the same zing as Black and Yellow. I’m no Wiz Khalifa. It’s hard to make rhymes when my brain is fighting all the time. Of course, sitting on my ass all the livelong day, suppose my brain figured something needed punishment. Now from one head to another. Cherry, a LONG TIME AGO, would have asked why I’m punishing myself. Let’s just say somethings are very blue. This probably explains why I looked up Rei Ayanami earlier (Blue Hair). Blonde, brunette, redhead, EVERYONE!!! Lady Luna, did I mention the latest book I’m reading? I’m trying to be a “good boy,” so I can’t tell you the title. Anyway, it’s by Maximo Montoya. Hell, he’s a saint in comparison to Nakayohi Mogudan. I’m sure I butchered that, but hey, the art has words…

Oh, and you know I can do worse but again, let’s start with my STUPIDITY with flags, Well the color blue, ok Lu. You know I’m in 100% support of Black Lives Matter. Of course, Blue Lives Matter are some racists, so and so’s. In conclusion, the letters match (mind-blown). I hate having to write when I miss something so obvious. Yeah, when I’m writing anything at all. Which at this moment are all the artists I’m going to bankroll. No wonder my belly is like a void. Yeah, I know what hungry is, even starving. $500 of green… However, I remain a greedy SOB. Why am I going to spend coin on my stomach? There are other parts of the anatomy that interest me. Yeah, my poor blues. Hopefully not the Po-Po. I’m not a Trumptard, just a black man. Black And Blue Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 192 ~Will Seconds That Emotion~

My firstborn is good, or at least the vet didn’t say anything and handed me more of his meds. My second Saturday of the new year starts off like the others, nuclear pop and me being lazy. Will Seconds That Emotion, but I’m usually DEAD last

Saturday, January 9, 2021

Gospel 192 ~Will Seconds That Emotion~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I bet that still wouldn’t be enough. No, I wouldn’t convince Spotify about how much I like or, let’s say, am annoyed at Old School Soul. Considering I looked up Smokey Robinson right now, I’m not helping my case. As if I would do anything to help myself? Didn’t I say when it comes to caring about me, “I rather stay home in bed?” The Day Job, the Dæmon, or the “daddy” (take that however you like). I’m always wide awake and raring to go. I always come second, Lu.

Now “a second” isn’t always a bad thing. Only people think I’m STUPID, SLOW, or I SUCK because I need a few dozen. That is when it comes to me. Hell, I want to go all Rod Stewart and scream, “Do Ya Think I’m (you know). I’m a discombobulated Elliot Moore. My second, of course, isn’t a wifey like Alma Moore. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve now turned to 2008’s “The Happening.” Anyway, my second is my Dæmon. As he lies here nestled against my legs, I wonder how he puts up with me at all. SIGH, senior years. Seconds tick by, and what am I doing with them besides sitting here. Again I was up so early yesterday to make sure the Imp got to the vet. Doesn’t matter how long I sleep. It’s as if I never rest. I rather become Tony Stark than Elliot Moore. Um yeah, he had Pepper Potts.

Trump’s seconds haven’t been “decent” people until recently. Pence, I mean damn, and I’m trying so hard only to say her name… Stormy Daniels. In their own times, they might have staved off the apocalypse. How did I become the leader of a billion fans/men? In my continuing efforts to not put black women second. Or not listen to another rich white guy. I can say I feel a bit like Iris Bennet. Ok, maybe I have a type, and yes, you should invest in Pop Culture quips. Again um, I put everyone first, and I ain’t even second here. I’m last when it comes to the artist’s work I want to buy this morning, for what purpose hmm. Last, as I see the stores empty out. Why is that?

Wish I could say I was Dauntless or Abnegation. I’m Factionless. Will Seconds That Emotion

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~

Saturday, January 2, 2021

Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This is me, the man I want to be. Sorry for talking to you so late… 6:55 PM. Where does the time go? Indeed, where does “The Will” go. To be honest, it started this morning. I contemplated looking good for my TWD Guild or sleep. People always have a way of making you more… Accountable? As much as I brag about my Republican tendencies, turning my back on all humankind is not my strong suit. Neither is leaving my Dæmon hurting, but we’ll get to that this evening, I hope.

Next to him is my work, my writing, my will be done. So how about this new year. Yep, it’s time to make some New Year’s Resolutions. I did think about waiting till tomorrow, talking to the man in the mirror as it were. Yet, at this rate, who knows where I’ll be. Better, let’s see if anything has changed.

  1. I AM Seeing My Dæmon Through Another Year
    Completed (2020)
  2. I AM Writing A New York Times Bestseller
    Failed
  3. I AM Making One Million Dollars
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing 400 Words Everyday (Goal 120,000)
    Completed (2020)
  5. I AM Visiting The Moonlite Bunny Ranch
    Failed
  6. I AM Beginning To Make Investments
    Failed
  7. I AM Producing An Adult Film For Sale
    Failed
  8. I AM Participating In NaNoWriMo
    Completed (2020)
  9. I AM In A Relationship or Sleeping With A Girl At Least Once A Month
    Failed
  10. I AM Becoming Free Of Parental Oversight (Rockford, Grandma, The Car, etc.)
    Partial Completion
  11. I AM Speaking Positivity Into My Life
    Failed
  12. I AM Starting Work On Life Goals “Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~.”
    Failed
  13. I AM Fearless Now
    Failed

Yes, Lady Lu, this list still applies, and as you can see, I only completed 1,4 and 8. At this particular moment, it’s #1 that worries me. Tomorrow I’m going to have to get the Imp checked-out. I don’t know what’s wrong but sometimes being here ain’t enough. I told myself again I wouldn’t be writing to you so late. It’s like how the holy-rollers say the spirit is willing, but the flesh SIGH. Last year, huh, a “Sucker For Pain.” A lady at the Day Job told me I looked skinnier. I’m here, “now fight” Sucker Punch, yeah. Here I Am, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 178 ~Willing A Plan B~

A quiet Christmas and a quieter day after. Someday excuse me one day; I hope they’ll be some bleeps and bloops around the house. Maybe my kids might play outside as I did, or they’ll be reading and yell at authors. “Willing A Plan B.” Plan A’s better

Saturday, December 26, 2020

Gospel 178 ~Willing A Plan B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or so I’ve been planning for a while. Okay, so one sentence before the bad this morning. Well, it can’t be any uglier than the stuff going on in the country, right? My one big gripe about today is I meant to wake up earlier, ha. Plenty of motivations say things like, you have to make a plan, set goals, let’s not talk about dreaming. My Dæmon and I do far too much of that—neither one of us imagining sugarplums dancing in our heads. Now I’m going to have to look up a sugarplum; wow.

Yesterday wasn’t so much, but I’m going to tell the whole truth. My only real plan for Christmas Day was waking up at 7:00 AM.

Say it with me, Fiddler on the Roof fans (ahem) TRADITION!!! I also made cooked shrimp and baked potato for dinner. I’ll cook steak someday.

This brings me to my point but let’s continue with the Christmas recap. I talked to Lady Sophia, who has inspired me to write, SIGH “Happy.” I’m not talking a full story, somewhere around 7500 words. It could also be the ongoing Christmas novel reading. Of course, I took a nap; went shopping at Amazon for Indiana Gone and the Dæmon. You know my favorite TWO. I caught Ragnar the Terrible in Far Cry 5. Um, I got back into watching “Into The Badlands.” When I was young, I planned on being a Kung-Fu Master.

Again my point. I want to become some legendary writer, and I should read, of course. Still, I can’t get it up to write a happy story. Hell, I love zombies but won’t write a new intro for The Walking Dead guild. Now I talk to you and the girls daily, but I’m sitting in bed. Yeah, Plan B is I’m going to be unloading trucks for the rest of my life. It makes me think of what Will Smith said that having a Plan B distracts from Plan A.

Our Founding Fathers to Rick Grimes, and Marcus “DBH.” Liberty, Victory, Freedom, or Death. Hemingway said to write the truest sentence. The Beatles sang about taking a sad song and making it better. Is it a coincidence that the story I’m reading now has a Jude? Yeah, but I’ve written so much sadness to downright evil. A Tale of Innocence?

“Happy,” Willing A Plan B.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 171 ~High Noon, Hi Will~

Talk about living on a mattress, or maybe I’m Linus with his blue blanket or more like my hoodies. Trevor Noah stole my style. Anyway, I better be up before January 6, and if that goes well, the 20th. “High Noon, Hi Will” who wakes up to fight?

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Gospel 171 ~High Noon, Hi Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would still spend every afternoon in bed. I’ve spoken about what gets me up and going. On my Christmas list, I said I wanted an island. Only by all accounts that might mean a gigantic bed. Hell, why did I get up now? My Dæmon’s demands, such as “I’m Hungry, Thirsty, need to go Potty.” I can at least say that makes me better than the Trump Administration. Let’s not get into January 6 or the 20th. I’ve still got my gun, but again I’m not some Trumptard gun nut, well, not yet.

Nobody gets up to die, right? Well, okay, I don’t get how cowboys did it back in the wild west. I mean, yeah, so we have soldiers, police officers, frontline personnel. You’re asking, why am I so political? As I said, lying in bed, watching YouTube and killing the Dead. What about cultists, hmm? I’m on the final mission of Far Cry 5, “Where It All Began.” Since I’ve been delving back into my gamer roots, I’ve only beaten one game on the PS4, Detroit: Become Human. So what did I do Friday night instead of fighting Joseph Seed? Hmm? I’m starting to think I’m incapable of finishing anything. The past few mornings, not counting today, I’ve woken up early to read before falling back asleep after my 15% quota. Not that it’s anything to brag about considering the length of the books I’ve read.

I keep telling myself, I’m trying to learn but are any of these “Christmas” novellas going to help me? The last book I read with any “educational” value was Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I meant to tell Lady Sophia before I should go back to writing reviews. Only all the books I read are considered “inappropriate.” So that would explain the books I’m writing, and I can’t finish those. If I can survive today, I’ll actually score one more win on Six Impossible Things. Yet again, I was on my belly in bed crawling like some slug. As my motivations say, you did not wake up to be mediocre. I was supposed to have so much more accomplished by now. It’s like NaNoWriMo but with my whole life. I finish 50’000 words, and then what. Uh, nothing.

Dumb Ways To Die… waking up. High Noon, Hi Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 164 ~The Will Of Steel~

Steal, Still, Steel, language can be a miraculous thing though most days I spend talking to myself or my Dæmon and usually we’re both out cold like today. I wore out the snooze button with my clumsiness. “The Will Of Steel.”

Saturday, December 12, 2020

Gospel 164 ~The Will Of Steel~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have got to remind me of this title after Christmas. You don’t know how I really want to turn this into, you know. Hell, even when I’m not in the mood, it’s like being the HULK. That’s the thing, Lady Lu, I’m always, sigh. Anyway, today I feel heavy, heavy-handed, ham-fisted, and being handled by life. Yet with these hands, I still find a way to push the buttons on alarm clocks. I might as well pin my legs to the bed. Um, there’s the six impossible things I keep going at or not.

Stealing more hours from my future self than I care to admit Lady Lu. You can see what time it is now. Even with everything that happened yesterday, I was still earlier than now. Of course, you can ask Lady Sophia about that because I rather forget. Well, until Friday. Stealing another moment that could bring about happiness. Only again, I instead wallow in self-pity. If anything, it beats what else I would be doing. Indiana Gone asked me what I wanted for Christmas. One of those phone cleaners? The real dirt, I added myself.

Still, every day, I go out and fight the fight. Now when I say go out, that could mean on most days only crawling out of my bed. Ask me where I am now, and that would be the loveseat in my den/game room, my Dæmon by my side. And my hands to the keyboard. Still, trying to make something of my life at least until 5:30 PM, and then what? Phone games until 6:00 PM, and then I’m killing cultists… in another game. Why am I still surprised that saying such a thing is acceptable but not some others?

Steel for real as the world falls apart and people are getting crazier by the day. I’m not ready to spend $500 to save the car I have because I need to save my black ass. Oh, I said that the gun I have scares me? I’m like Kevin Bacon/Nick Hume in Death Sentence 2007. Steel, like gold, is in short supply these days. Or is it the fact that I’m lazy as all Hell again like today? And with these hands, why be distracted, dirty, or even somewhat dangerous.

The real me sacrificed for this, The Will Of Steel.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 157 ~Pushing My Buttons Willie~

I’ve been listening less to the Pussycat Dolls and more to daily motivations. Spotify told me that my most played song this year has been “Sucker For Pain.” Good thing I didn’t win the presidency. “Pushing My Buttons Willie,” none connected to bombs

Saturday, December 5, 2020

Gospel 157 ~Pushing My Buttons Willie~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even with all this cash, I’ll still buy hoodies. In a way, I’m starting to feel like Linus; only my blue blanket is a black hoodie. Trevor Noah stole my look, right? I’m sure this isn’t the 1st time I’ve talked about such fashion choices. For now, I’m only trying to keep a pair of pants on for “obvious” reasons. I’ve already failed my Six Impossible Things for this week, but I can try. Lady Lu, I should go to the door and see if my newest NaNoWriMo shirt’s arrived.

That is what I call trying to cheer myself up because today has been one of those days. It’s only what now 10:05 AM. I was fighting with my alarm at around 5 AM. So yeah, I’ve been “diddling” around for about 5 hours. Well, until my Dæmon’s Medication Time. Didn’t I say something about him being all Nakey the other day (collarless)? Putting the collar back on and taking it off is getting easier. We also have him back on schedule, but he still wants hotdogs. I almost blew the microwave up in some way, I don’t know. $500.00 wouldn’t seem like much by comparison? Why yes, Lady Lu, I’m still “salty” at Serra Hyundai. Now I’m all sorts of worried about my car, and I haven’t left the house in how long? Every day I’m agreeing more with the Trumptards… Ignorance Is Bliss.

But I don’t want to be ignorant. As we have gone over again and again. STUPID is possibly the worse word in the English language. So I push buttons to read books every day. Am I learning from, um, Abby Knox, Eric Vall, or even my own work left unedited? I finally got back into Far Cry 5 the other day and, in less than a minute, blew something up? Yes, it was an accident. How about the times I died jumping off cliffs without my wingsuit deployed? I’ll try again tonight. Ok, try some hunting, ha. Speaking about guns… Yes, I’ll stick to video games or YouTube for now. All I’m doing is wasting time, even when I go to sleep on time. Ok, I’ll admit, an hour later, but I was talking to M. Anime. Please don’t let me screw this up seriously.

My mouth, my fingers, my pants. Pushing My Buttons Willie

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 150 ~Will Makes It Possible~

I should just work through the night. Hell, I could get back to using energy drinks and be sick for a week, but at least I’ll be done. You know that saying, “where there’s a will, there’s a way.” “Will Makes It Possible,”

Saturday, November 28, 2020

Gospel 150 ~Will Makes It Possible~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but right now, I feel anything but. Here and Now… no, I don’t promise to love faithfully as the song goes. Hell, I abandoned you for years, and I’m still sorry about that. Anyway, I feel like David from The Fifth Element. I’m looking at the stone, which is my story. Not to mention another rock here or there. Okay, what I’m trying to say is AHEM, we’re not going to make it. I need 2000 plus words to finish on the 30th. Where am I now? I slept today away. I could give up plenty.

No, I don’t want to fail NaNoWriMo. What I mean is reading, an online game. I haven’t even looked at The Walking Dead game forever. You know I like Eric Vall, but it was a fight to stay woke. My other joy, I won’t mention but again, Six Impossible Things. Don’t you dare compare me to Trump; I take responsibility for my actions. Did I mention that my BFF, or should I say my 2nd BFF is in town? Um, my Dæmon has been a trooper today resting with his old man’s lazybones. Now, this week sucked ass, yep. So anyway, Indiana Gone and her hubby want to go to lunch. “Must Ee Nice” to be married a year; another song. Not like I’m getting any closer. I won’t lie; I’m scared to death to even say something to a woman now. Am I shy? I was holding my tongue at the Day Job, thankfully.

I’m forgetting so much, Lady Lu. Do you remember when I told you I’m watching an artist? I have no clue who it was, and I haven’t checked my money situation in ages. Everything has been either about NaNoWriMo or going to bed. Where do you think I’m typing from? Tonight though, I am trying. I’ll talk to you until 9:00 PM, and then come hell or high water, I’ll go have my Thanksgiving leftovers. Once again, Lady Lu, I will not lie to NaNoWriMo again. Either I make it, or I don’t. If I don’t, I won’t be buying another NaNoWriMo T-Shirt. Yes, I said purchase, but it’s like I wouldn’t deserve it if I fail. Tomorrow is lunch and of course TWD spinoffs, which I won’t miss ever.

I need that motivation in writing. Will Makes It Possible

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 143 ~Willing To Be Tired~

So last week, around this time, I got 5400, and tonight there was 4300. I’m still not catching up to NaNoWriMo standards, but at least I’m not a liar when I put down 33,000 and some words total. Willing To Be Tired but not 700 words, but why not

Saturday, November 21, 2020

Gospel 143 ~Willing To Be Tired~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not the usual Trump supporter. Let’s say for the record that I’m sorry I keep bringing up that piece of shit, which is the president. I’ve said a few times actually that he just creeps into everything daily. Speaking of which, it’s 10:50 PM right this second which means, I might be going to bed at 2:30 AM again tonight. My Lady Luna, I didn’t want to talk to you until I rectified things with NaNoWriMo from last night. Negan would say, “Today was a productive damn day.”

Okay, counting what I should have done last night (1900 Words). Also adding today’s total (2000 words) and this conversation (400). I’m only 700 short of doing a good work total of 5000. Don’t get excited, Lady Lu. I still hate Math and Language Arts. Surprisingly I continue to sound like a “Trumptard” by going against any form of knowledge.

On the other hand, those idiots will get up early to support him, and here I am, waking up at 8:30 AM. It was a struggle, I tell ya, trying to get my hair cut, go shopping, and let me repeat it… 4300 words, WHOA. But as Brandy sang about. “Almost doesn’t count.” Don’t get me started on music. Last night or the day before? Okay, how do I say this without going off the deep end of my addiction?

A “person” who said they would provide a service robbed a bunch of people. They got the sum of a million dollars. Now this person has, had, is building, hell if I know a music career. They did a song called “Lonely” which I have listened to and watched because I’m Will. I didn’t buy anything from them, but the fact I have it on Spotify and am now listening to Akon’s “Lonely.” So I went to get a haircut, which is only $10.00, but another person convinced me to get a shampoo and a scalp massage. That means I’m out of Ghost Pepper sauce for my BBQ ribs SIGH. Finally, there is an artist I have my eye on, which means I’ll be shelling out cash for Patreon, maybe. If I need anything right now, it’s a good night’s sleep, now that is funny. Not with this coming week.

But too exhausted for nightmares, Lu. Willing To Be Tired.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 136 ~Don’t Stop Will Now~

Last week I said that I couldn’t get 5000 words down… AHEM 5400, but it’s past midnight, and at this rate, I might as well be all Forrest Gump “since I’ve gone this far.” Man cannot live on a cup of popcorn shrimp. Don’t Stop Will Now

Saturday, November 14, 2020

Gospel 136 ~Don’t Stop Will Now~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and to be honest, I’m not having a good time. More Money, More Problems, as the song goes. Well, with one-word irk, “Writing.” Allow me to be a broken record in this, More Writing, More Writing. Indeed 5000 words Lady Lu. I owe you an apology Lady Lu because you see what time it is 11:45 PM. Yeah, I was having too good a time until 2:00 PM, I suppose, when I decided to start working. I’m still in the hole by about um yep another 5000 words. Only I promised.

Last night, I said I would use this weekend to catch up. If I keep up this pace? As always, I know that I can get it done if I want to. That’s like saying I can finally get My Dæmon to take his meds. I still haven’t found a sure-fire method for either being real. Now, as far as writing goes, okay, one I know I can get this done if I simply buckle down and do the damn thing. Two, I don’t know why I’m trying so hard when I know how I’ll feel with the end result. Three SIGH, I’ll pay for a NaNoWriMo shirt. Why do I want to earn it so badly? All I know is right now is that everything hurts, and if I stop for a second, I’m never going to get this done. Now that scares me because it’s like the Day Job. If you’re going through Hell, you don’t stop for anything ever. Enjoying the view?

It’s why I tried my strategy of “Build The World In Thirty Days” for once. The title could use some tuning, but in my story, I’m only going between the United States and the U.K.

So NOT around the world, and I’m definitely not saving it, not my limited “Willpower.” One of the motivations I once listened to would say you only need three words. “Whatever It Takes.” I could also add to that “Burn The Boats.” While I’m looking for inspiration, it would explain why I’ve been watching Star Trek: DS9, Pacific Rim, DBH.

Hell, I’ve even been getting into the jams of the “cult classics” ha-ha in Far Cry 5. What’s one more pop culture reference AHEM, Where The Red Fern Grows Lu. God pushed over my tree, “WRITE,” Don’t Stop Will Now.

I Will Have No Fear