Log 236 ~Will You Say Hi~

I don’t get high anymore, which is the last of my vices as far as putting things into my body, well other than loads of sugar, I do need something to keep up, ladders, ladies, and loads of words because I rather not speak. “Will You Say Hi”

Saturday, February 22, 2020

Log 236 ~Will You Say Hi~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have to be crazy to pull that off. Now don’t get me wrong, Lady Lu, I’m less crazy than most. Not that I’m trying to distinguish between madness like Silver Linings Playbook. One of these days, I’m going to give a brief lesson on morality to show why I’m not a Trump Supporter. Let me be honest, though; standing with Trump is more STUPIDITY than insanity. I hate saying that because I know a few Trumpers. Those same people would call me everything under the sun, so I understand.

So let’s start across the pond. Part of the reason I’m a bit late talking to you is that I’ve been writing. Oh, is that what I call it Lady Lu? It’s not every day you can tell someone every “dirty” thought in your head. Ahh, the wonders of Erotica. While I’m busy writing it, I haven’t been reading. By now (Thursday), I should have finished Siren by Hazel Grace. Right now, much like Davina’s lovers, I can’t breathe. It’s always the same with any good story; I’ll do anything not to finish. It’s real Lady Lu, even a moment ago. Indiana Gone has me looking forward to something that still hasn’t arrived. A few minutes ago, I saw the FedEx guy deliver a package to another house. Now I know it’s not mine, but I want to go over like I’m a Porch Pirate.

Better I do something crazier like, climbing the roof, for example, hold up a minute? Please excuse me; I’ve started watching a lot of “Girlfriend Reviews” on YouTube lately but back to Amazon. If I’m not buying books, waiting on packages, why not look for a ladder. Am I that eager to die, like when I sent that girl a bustier with my name on it, what the hell? I’ve told you before I don’t seem to be learning from history, which takes me right back to writing that story for Cherry. Am I going to share that with everyone? For all I know, her father is hopping on a plane to come after me at some point. I have a hell of a time dealing with people at the Day Job. Still, you know what’s driving me up the walls. The humming won’t stop.

Only I sooner not greet anyone; Will You Say Hi?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 229 ~Will’s No Serial Killer~

Isn’t there such a thing as A Series of Unfortunate Events; I can’t say I ever got into those books and with everything else, I should be reading but more to the point doing, as idle hands are the Devil’s playthings. Will’s No Serial Killer

Saturday, February 15, 2020

Log 229 ~Will’s No Serial Killer~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m no Sheldon Cooper either. Well, except for one thing, and that’s his “third times the charm” concept. No that doesn’t mean I’ll knock three times, did I mention I’m not a serial killer. Today I want to talk about a “series” of actions done.

You know how Faith from Buffy The Vampire Slayer would say she’s five by five, meaning she’s okay? I’m more three by five. I will repeat actions three times but test them three to five times. Okay, that is more a confession for Inspector Echo. Take, for example, the Day Job. Coincidence, hmm, but I hated three of my supervisors on this particular day. I counted to five each time, and I’m still employed somehow. I’ll check my bag three times but check for a specific object five. When it comes to my writing, I run it through Grammarly once. Then Hemingway Editor, and then my computer features. Didn’t somebody say, trust your first instinct and don’t overthink? How about How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, I try Lady Lu, but it would be better if I were doing.

While I’m on the subject of books, what is the last series I finished all the way through? Okay, partly this isn’t my fault, I read through The Hunger Games and here comes a fourth book. I’ve forgotten more sequels than I care to admit. What about the novels I’ve written? Didn’t I say before I have no clue how I’m going to do the next NaNoWriMo? Yes, I’m completely lost, but the ideas are always coming. My head is a mess, but to be fair, that’s partly to do with the humming. My father came by, but his only assessment is that it’s not coming from this house. Now you know how I feel about that; part guilty complex and then again can I believe what he says. How many reasons have I come up with for the humming, and it’s still not fixed?

What about the fact that everyone has a story? Do I go over and confront the neighbors about the noise? I can’t have aa woman over here because the Den still rages in that awful racket. Even dealing with my father today left me and My Dæmon a bit discombobulated.

All the things forgotten and still Will’s No Serial Killer.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 222 ~Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More~

SHE said I have anger problems, and yes, that makes me mad because it means I’m like my father, or as Master Yoda puts is Fear leads to anger, and then to hate, but perhaps I have other qualities? “Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More.”

Saturday, February 8, 2020

Log 222 ~Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so how can I be mad. Now I won’t lie to you; if I were part of the 1%, I would be angry losing my paper. I’m not even close yet, but I hate spending money. Yes, I know Lady Lu, this coming from the man that spends money on GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS. Isn’t that exactly why it’s taking so long to talk to you tonight? Last night I was plenty angry with Trump, and so I am tonight. A wealthy white guy is proving once more that his kind can get away with anything. Only this is supposed to be about me, am I right?

A Wednesday night because I don’t feel like getting up Thursday morning? Lady Lu, that’s something that makes me angry, my laziness. I spent another afternoon not doing anything for myself. No, I slept only to wake up to the 1% doing away with the law. I would say than anger takes a lot out of me, but yeah, I did the same thing yesterday. Today though, I almost lost it with “Coal.” I let pretty girls get away with a lot but the ugly ones? Okay, so you’re telling me that’s not nice, but I do mean her personality; for the most part. I finished Dennis Hof’s book on Audible again today. It only got me madder at myself that I can’t be him. Well, I could, but that would require me to get off my behind. I tell Cherry that sometimes if I could only get to work and I shouldn’t even be talking about her. Black Pantyhose/Stockings and “Fechikano!” and that’s that.

So we have early mornings, STUPID people at work, and my lackluster attitude if it’s not my chosen field. What about other stuff I can’t do, the humming is still going on Lady Lu. I could make a call, but what about tomorrow? What about my forgetfulness? Did I say something about leaving the trunk open all night before once?

If I can’t trust myself with every day, how can I remember even to make a phone call, as I would? I still miss Far Cry 5 and reading, don’t I? “THEY,” say we have two wolves inside us, and they worked together to eat a third. There’s HATE, and there’s FEAR. Always hungry, never full, Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 215 ~The Will Is Silence~

Every little bit of silence, I feel hope, funny I didn’t mention how my phone has scared me with every single sound and was that only last week, and now I need more noises to terrify me 24/7? The Will Is Silence, I hope.

Saturday, February 01, 2020

Log 215 ~The Will Is Silence~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I know why people pay so much for silence. It’s always my fault, you know, everything. Now Lady Lu, that’s some noise. The voice inside my head. And not the hum that’s coming through loud and clear now that I’ve cut the fan off. You know how often I talk about gratitude, the one point all my motivations agree on; it never fails. I should have been grateful for the ants last year because even that beats the constant humming. Had I kept my work ethic to see Alice Little, I would have more than enough money to not worry about the problem I’m facing.

A horse, how about my kingdom for a ladder? While I’m speaking on standing tall, I should work on growing a spine. Well, I did get a haircut, but I hesitated at the post office. I wouldn’t honk at the person at the drive-thru, and instead, I was going around. My biggest sin of all? I didn’t call back the electrician on this humming, and why? I’m afraid Lady Lu, of being in the way. The sun keeps rising, the world keeps spinning, and I don’t want to bother anyone. Today I bought a stethoscope trying to hear through the walls. Tomorrow I might buy a ladder so I can get to the roof myself. I’m not suicidal, but I would indeed kill myself before asking for help. Even dying, somebody would have to go around me, and so like I said yesterday, I’m Alive.

How about my poor dæmon, he must be going crazy with the noise, but he stays cuddling me wanting to help. He’s getting too old for all the foolishness though he still barks from time to time. My ear still hurts, and I ran over my big toe with the garbage can trying to make it to the roof. I could have fried myself with all of those switches trying to kill the noise. My greatest wish is for silence, especially now, one more day where I’m not reading. I’m still looking towards my future, so will the next two days come around, and I will be laughing about this problem? What about next Saturday, if I’m not crazy by then or my kid goes all Children of the Corn.

Somehow, One Day, only a second The Will Is Silence.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 208 ~Run, Hide, Something Will~

We should run, we should hide, we should kick their butts, but no, I believe I’ll lie here a little while longer until my dæmon gets hungry if only he knew the man that his dad is in life. Run, Hide, Something Will?

Saturday, January 25, 2020

Log 208 ~Run, Hide, Something Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that answers a lot of questions. One of my motivations says to ask yourself this question. What do you want to be proud of tomorrow? Today I’m asking myself, am I ever going to leave this bed? Yesterday I told myself I’m not running from my problems because there’s nowhere to run to now. I’m not hiding, but my ear is screwy yet again because I didn’t clean it, Lady Lu. What do you call anyone with lots of cash, who won’t consider the truth? And is by all accounts a criminal and a coward?

I don’t want to be a Republican. With all the stuff I’ve been finding, I better be above all else. Plus, I don’t hide from the truth Lady Luna like Budd and Bill, I know I deserve what I get and the day is still young. No spam phone calls, no suspicious logins, no scary emails from security. Yeah, they’re probably waiting for the Day Job when I have to sit there and stew. It beats lying here in sweat and smut. One more thing that makes me a Republican, having close ties with Russian girls. Oh, and instead of China, I’ve been getting back into Japan, and you know which part. I had a “friend” who would be quite annoyed; I can’t tell the difference between China and Japan. Now, country-wise sure. Only I’ve been racking my brain wanting to figure out where the granddad was from in the movie 3 Ninjas, that’s sad.

Either I’m too lazy to look it up or is it depression. Should I be saddened that I was so out of it yesterday (Wednesday) that I missed NXT? My motivations would say I should show gratitude for the progress I made in Far Cry 5. Now Republicans don’t show appreciation. They only take and then complain someone is trying to take their lives. I’m fully aware of all these things that I have done. Even more so, I’m letting everyone take my life while refusing to live it at all. If it’s not that, then I’m upset about the Day Job having me work so much. What could I have done today Lady Lu? I won’t fool myself into thinking I’m going to read anything, I will only survive.

Run, Hide, Kick Their Butts Blah Run, Hide, Something Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 201 ~Four A Free Will~

If I came with a label, it would be “FORE,” although that would mean I’m getting a lot more fresh air, and I’ve been in bed except for taking care of my four-legged son, walks and a vet visit. Four A Free Will, add a wife, and another child

Saturday, January 18, 2020

Log 201 ~Four A Free Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even four billion wouldn’t be enough. Does that mean by next year I will be saying I AM a Trillionaire right now? Spellcheck doesn’t even recognize the word. Million, Billion, Trillion, and where did I hear that comedy comes in three’s? Also, My Dæmon has three names, the same as the rest of us. I know you’re saying wait a minute, “Lady Luna,” but I’m here to talk about fours, not two. How I believed four was a lucky number.

By tomorrow (today’s Thursday), it will have been three weeks since I started fighting my addiction. I’m looking forward to the fourth week, though, the month, even the year. So I am looking forward to beating Far Cry 5, John, Jacob, Faith, and Joseph Seed. I’ve told the story about why I chose four as my number. You remember a certain girl in high school and also junior college. Group #4 and how I started writing about her, and needless to say, I’m a college dropout. Not depressed again only a fact, now I can’t count how many hours I have spent in this bed. My four-legged firstborn has been hanging around. Still, a tad upset with getting three shots. I also asked them to cut his nails so four bad things he would consider.

Four is a simpler number than a billion. I still remember when I offered MILF Dos $400.00 to “Get Naked” as the song goes. Let’s say I work out better deals that The Commander and Chief.” Then again “FORE” I am a warning I mean Will’s Writings, Witticisms, Wisdom? I could tell you three things I like about my addiction and then add in a fourth. But again, I always have to post, well except for Thursday. Wouldn’t that be the fifth day of the week but the fourth business day? I sound like something off of Sesame Street, but you know how I am with numbers. On any given workday, I would consider four hours of sleep to be a good thing. Last night I got a fourth gun slot in Far Cry 5, notice I can say slots, holsters, placements. I’m staying on the up and up, but if I started talking holes?

My paycheck gets split into four different places every week that I should look in on, Four A Free Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 194 ~Does Will Like Company~

For the first time in life, I might care if the stock market is doing well when it comes to “Bollywood” but anything to move on from some people and forward in my life. “Does Will Like Company?”

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Log 194 ~Does Will Like Company~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so that would make me part of the 1%. One more thing that separates me from the common man and yet I want the company. Well, not Eros International, but it’s a start. I finally have stock in a company, and again, it’s like two sides of the same coin. Now I want money because I can’t stand those people at the Day Job. Only I like being with M Anime; as I said the things, I’ll do if a woman is involved. Better still the things I haven’t done lately.

Is it me, or have I not mentioned Far Cry 5 for a couple of days somehow? Yes, I’m still the avid player with being captured by Jacob, freeing Jess Black. What about working for the Whitetails. Must everything sound dirty to a certain degree? On top of talking to the girls, I’ve been texting to the girls. Indiana Gone, Cherry, M Anime, I’m a regular chatterbox these days. Anything to not enjoy my company as it were. I could be worrying about the impending storm as the Day Job reached out only last night. Now Eros International doesn’t look so bad by comparison. What about my organization, you know, Second Circle Creations? At the moment, I’m the CEO, and how much is my company worth, I ask? I should add up what’s in my savings that right now is sitting on the nightstand this moment.

Again, how will I know until I get my other car fixed? Not looking forward to getting to know whoever they send to jump it, talking to my Olds, or talking to a mechanic. At least it’s not the Day Job. Don’t “THEY,” say it’s all about the company that you keep? If that’s the case, my priority is My Dæmon. My son, my companion, my prince, and if I’m not following some swaying hips, it’s his wagging tail. Now speaking of a tale, what about my story, well my poetry. Isn’t that how I intend to make my fortune? God was lonely, and he made himself a world. I’m not making such a grandiose statement, like Dante from The Walking Dead. Only Lady Luna, I made myself a universe, and I put more than money into it. Well, tell that to Outskirt Press ha.

Not their fault, but with everyone, Does Will Like Company?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 187 ~Maybe This Will Cure~

I’m not sick; I have some friends who are suffering through everything but I remain healthy and active but my life is something else to be sure and it doesn’t need a cure but here we are. “Maybe This Will Cure”

Saturday, January 4, 2020

Log 187 ~Maybe This Will Cure~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m awake right now. Don’t get me wrong I’m not discounting the whole 1:30 AM waking dynamic but not tomorrow. Even with a half-day, I slept most of it away, and guess what woke me up? Isn’t it always a woman? I spent most of the day talking to M Anime. For a woman, the things that men are capable of doing Lady Luna? I still remember that quote from 500 Days Of Summer, which rings as the gospel truth.

“Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.”

Like any medication, there are side effects, but I won’t go into those. Positivity is the order of the day, so how have I done this week. Well again I am the time traveler, I wrote about Friday this morning and Saturday tonight. The point is words Lady Lu like that movie Play’d “these words they have power,” I stood up to Loss Prevention Tuesday. A term that I find myself repeating is “breathe.” More than anything, I need air. Again I told M Anime the truth. So what about my “father” or MILF Dos? Today will be the day with my father, but I can’t see the future. Lady Lu, that’s facts, for example, Far Cry 5 the Nadine Abercrombie side mission Golden Age Nostalgia. Instead, I finished Larry Parker’s side missions giving me 51/52. We never know where we will find ourselves ever.

“I had nothing left to offer but pure reflex. Pure reflex and mankind’s basic drive for survival, that somehow shouts, “NO – I WILL NOT DIE TODAY!” The Beach (2000)

Now that’s where the law of attraction comes into play. Sunday I need to write my New Year’s Resolutions but what about right at this moment. I want M Anime to say YES, and then there’s another potential. How about all my problems will be solved come February 28, 2020, by PCH. I still remember how much faith I had that one day when they came so close, awarding the grand prize. There can’t be any doubt in my mind. Trust in the universe, and if that isn’t my motivation talking. My writing is going to take off this month, I know it, I will get it done. Tonight we’ll have this conversation, and I’ll wake up fresh and ready to go in the morning. I don’t need to be saved, or cured truth be told, I need to stay awake, life is not a virus that I have.

Convincing, quite the same fire and passion I give everyone still, Maybe This Will Cure.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 180 ~Less Than Willing, Weak~

Am I willing, well that’s my name, “Will,” Willie, sometimes I don’t know considering it took an email to HR to stop the calls of Mr. Willie and that was when I was lucky, but I’m lazy? Less Than Willing, Weak.

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Log 180 ~Less Than Willing, Weak~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and for most, comfort makes for weak men. How do THEY say, Fake It To You Make It? All I know is comfort when I’m not at the Day Job or anywhere outside. Even getting nearly eight hours isn’t helping. Why not eight, My Dæmon decided not to walk to the bathroom. Oh, and I’m an addict, not a doubt in my mind anymore. Of course, you know to what and when’s the last time I’ve gone a week. My motivations would ask what it’s going to take to change ever.

The year of Will, when I’ve already lost three months, last September. While I’m on the subject of the past, what about the movie Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor, SIGH. Am I starting to show my age, Lady Luna? Where was my “father” at my age? I bet it wasn’t in bed watching YouTube videos on Far Cry 5. I’m willing to do whatever needs demand to advance in the game but not in my life? My Dæmon looked at me as though I wasn’t ready to do anything. Like Father Like Son, he didn’t want his morning vitamin, treat, or any meds. I’m not suicidal, but every day this house becomes more like a coffin. If anything, though, I prefer it to the fires or the freezing that is my Day Job. Then again, what have I done this week to avoid going back other than stay a day ahead blogging? I continue to search on PCH like one day, yeah, here’s one million dollars.

Do I have anything to tout about this week? A couple of days not dying on Far Cry 5, but one day I didn’t play a full hour. The next, I had to replay the Exodus mission to save ALL the hostages. What can I say, I don’t like to lose? Sitting here in bed, growing a beard, eating cupcakes for breakfast. Yeah, so locked up in my addiction, I couldn’t bring myself to go downstairs and make pancakes or anything. I would say I’m going to be nothing but positive in the new year, but I’m not a liar. I’m lazy, lonely, a loser, but no, I won’t lie. You’re telling me to stop it and believe me; I understand that I must. Next week, new year and decade.

Why wait, I should get up; Less Than Willing, Weak?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 173 ~The Will To Betray~

I say I would never betray my son, I don’t cheat on women, and I want to be as honest I can, even to a fault as some say but while I’m trying to look into a mirror, who is it stabbing me in the back? “The Will To Betray”

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Log 173 ~The Will To Betray~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and that’s worth a little treason. Now I don’t wish to emulate the President but for the right price? Didn’t I talk about having peace of mind last week? Instead, this week I have bought more almost, my arrogance, and anxiety. You know, in being the man that I want to be, I’m not even close. Last night I sent a message/comment to a blogger offering my services. In all fairness, it hasn’t been twenty-four hours. How about anxiety from spending money on more mom, $50.00 from a scammer. Of course, there’s also Indiana Gone’s gifts.

One of my motivations talks about sacrificing what you want. I know what I want, but every day I betray that man, and for what exactly? I rise at this “godforsaken” hour every single morning, expecting to get even more work done. On a workday I talk to you, I am almost late for the Day Job. I work for them, come back, and fall into my unmade bed, repeat. The real me sucks, but what about the virtual version. Of Mice and Men, they say, I had one plan and what happened there? Well, I’m taking the fight to John Seed because I’m sick of air travel. Namely, bullets and bombs, finding their way into my body, Far Cry 5, of course. There is one more life that depends on me, and I’m still not much of a father. My Dæmon has everything he needs, but what about more. No, I’m too concerned with maids, and let’s say charity.

I’m a businessman, or so I want to be like Hugh Hefner and Dennis Hof. No, they made choices; they gave others options. I ask everyone to forget who they are so they can fit into my narrative. Only that’s somewhat the idea, to break out. I need to start breaking out of the roles that people place on me, Lady Luna. Are these character studies any better or worse than the ones that I write of myself at times? What about the woman that I want to make happy one day? If you want me to have gratitude, that’s what it is for today. The idea that I can still believe in something like that at all. Well, l look at the time, the seconds marking my perpetual treason. Wake up, wise up, and denounce The Will To Betray.

I Will Have No Fear