Tale 297 ~ That’ll B Lovely, Virgil~

Life is… beautiful? Everything is… awesome? That’ll be… lovely. And how about existence? I hate this phrase, but “it is what it is.” If something is “good” for others, that is great. Then there’s my boys and their lives, Huh. That’ll B Lovely, Virgil

Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Tale 297 ~ That’ll B Lovely, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But what does that mean now? That I pay? Part of me yearns for you…

Probably you want me to close my eyes, close my eyes, and relax, think of nothing tonight… That nothing is my firstborn son, Braxton. And tonight? It’s Thursday, April 18, 2024. Braxton is still gone. And this coming week? God, I want to join him.

Braxton is love. So are you. So are they. The family we have made together, this existence, the life that we share… I didn’t ask some father in heaven or one down here on Earth.

Love, I didn’t even ask the one I see staring back at me through the mirror. So, what did I want in this existence? It doesn’t come with a menu. But how much is that doggie in the window? I don’t know. Braxton was/is lovely.

And now I sit here in bed. Why… After seeing that little face. The touch of B III’s soft fur. I would hear Braxton’s happiness every time I returned. The taste of food before sharing.

Smell… please ew. In fifteen years, B learned to go outside. And “with that in mind, a soft, nice-smelling girl’s better.” With all the songs I listen to, why can’t I hear I love you?

I know you do, baby. Despite me being a baby. And you asking me anything and everything except the obvious. Because if you ever did, it would be cruel, ugly, and vile, my sweet love. And I’m trying. When I saw V, I thought, “That’ll be lovely.” A fur kid.

His life’s far from lovely.

But again, what about ours? What About Us, What About The Rest Of Us? Anyone? Indeed, everyone is asking me that. And it’s not fair to any of you. To just be lovely, like something to be picked up for dinner. I mean, there’s lovely. And then there’s, well, more. I can sing Isn’t She Lovely about each of our daughters. And what about our sons. I hope they are better men than me. Wasn’t B III, and what about Virgil? Hmm. Virgil Vivi’s trying.

Everything is lovely and awesome. But I want it to be… Well, how it never will be. Braxton should be here to see it. And if I can love as my firstborn son loved me, love. That’ll B Lovely, Virgil

1178 Days Without B III, Day 619 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 290 ~Love Bugs B, Virgil~

I haven’t been bitten by the love bug in some time. When’s the last time I’ve been outside other than to let V out. Or go anywhere I didn’t want to go. What bugs me the most. Breathing. I wish I could make it worthwhile. Love Bugs B, Virgil

Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Tale 290 ~Love Bugs B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But while you always tell and show me, I miss Braxton—you and them. Virgil?

Money makes such a lovely sound. But is it love? For the love of money. If I had it 1,171 days ago, would it have saved my firstborn son, my B? Food insecurity? Never, love! Today, Sunday, April 7, 2024. I’m only thinking about all the problems in the kitchen. Braxton’s food still sits on the counter. Three years? Is that a problem? Frightening, Mad?

Even now, I want to yell out to Braxton to take his medicine or fill up his food and water bowls. I do that for V anyway, but it’s not the same, and it sounds stupid. Doesn’t sound like love…

Like the kitchen faucet that’s acting up, the shelf that fell down, or a messed-up drawer. This mess, I swear.

If that ain’t love, then I don’t know what love is. A well-loved house that I should fix for the living. In doing so, I would honor my Braxton. It’s slowly eating away at me.

Inspecting for termites when I would instead be blasting my way through Terminids, Automatons, and whatever else in the game Helldivers 2. What’s one more distraction? Hmm. I need anything and everything to make some noise. Grieving, Hating, but Loving…

Trying to remember what love sounds like bugs me. Only I want to hear it. You and me, always and forever, my love. I want to place the two of us under the covers. Really?
Hey, it beats me thinking about Maiko Kaneda all day. Your husband has a type.

The two of us love bugs. Those two-legged children of ours, bugging mommy and daddy. Someday, I might even look at Virgil as such. One of our kids. But he didn’t have a choice, my love. I can’t say I was even bitten by the love bug. More like I was bitten by my B. And it would have pained me to leave without Virgil. Only I was being selfish or even obtuse with love. Seriously, what’s with all my talk of bugs anyway? Extermination?

Breathing bugs me. Every breath I take. Take this morning for example. I lied here reading, and Virgil was shoving against me. As long as I didn’t look at him, I could imagine Braxton, love bug. Love Bugs B, Virgil

1171 Days Without B III, Day 612 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 283 ~Hear B, Listen V~

When was the last time I heard “I love you” and felt something? When was the last time I said it? The last time I heard love and felt it was in Braxton’s last breath. And I’m sure I’ll be hearing it well into the future. “Hear B, Listen V.”

Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Tale 283 ~Hear B, Listen V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But I can tell why it has to be this way. My son is gone.

Braxton, my Soldier, Soul dog, indeed my firstborn Son. Even now, while I time travel. Today is Sunday, March 31, 2024, Easter Sunday. He Is Risen? Well, not my Braxton.

Today, how many more will pay for my sins? There ain’t no coming back from all these things that I’ve done. But that’s the thing, my love. I’m still gone, and you’re still waiting for me. Even though I don’t look a thing like Jesus. I know I need to cut the music off, love. I need to turn off all the noise and stay awake. Why? Because love’s louder?

Honestly, that’s my problem. The last time I heard love was my Braxton’s last breath. And for 1,164 days, I’ve only been listening. But hearing?

Whatever DEI! And you know what I wanted to say.

More like they want to say. But why is hate so much easier to explain? Why do the things I hate come so naturally? Like myself for what happened to Braxton. You tell me, I loved, and I loved, and I lost you. You sing to me. As long as I’m breathing, always and forever.

So why don’t I want to hear it? Am I making any sense at all, my love? Love is confusing.

It’s the way it has to be sometimes. But how much longer? As I said before, look how far I am from this day. Look how far I’ve come from the day my B fell. I still hear it, love.

Only you know you, man. My love language is physical touch. And when it comes to you and me, I feel everything. And you’ll do anything to make me feel your love. Actions, right? More than words? And everything that comes with it. But you want me to hear you. You need me to. But all I hear is pain, yours, mine, my boys, B III and 2V, our kids.

And I listen to everything else, like some white noise. I am sleeping away existence. Today, love doesn’t lie bleeding. It’s sleeping. And I have to find my way, darling.

Honestly, that’s the only time I’ll say you remind me of my Ma, baby doll. I’ll let you love me. Hear? Hear B, Listen V.

1164 Days Without B III, Day 605 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 269 ~B Gives Virgil Space~

When I say I will “Go The Distance,” it’s like my mind finding anything intelligent. Or having a family that includes more than a four-legged friend. What about being *happy.* There’s no space not with my grief and fear. “And Virgil wants room.”

Tuesday, March 26, 2024

Tale 269 ~B Gives Virgil Space~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… To the moon and back? How about if the sun should refuse to rise, love?

You’ll have to forgive a friend here or there texting me about space. And you know your husband has always been into Star Wars. For that, I won’t apologize. But distance, space, and the void? My love, have you yet to understand how great my son was in this existence?

What do I mean was? Take yesterday, for example. Anytime I’m afraid, or something becomes too overwhelming. I remember the worst thing I’ve survived. Euthanasia! Specifically, the loss of my firstborn son, B III. And then everything else seems livable.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon, I took Virgil to the groomers. While waiting for him, I saw a dog crate that doubled as a nightstand. A place for B III and 2V, my love. My furry sons.

The idea of making space for them both together? And yet Braxton in his box. Or wherever he exists. And Virgil lying in a soft bed underneath. They’re both far.

Remember earlier this morning when Virgil Vivi was upset over the storm? Whether he was in our room or Braxton’s, the space between him and me doesn’t matter, my love.

I was driving to pick Virgil Vivi up, and I was thinking. If PetSmart harmed him? I have two words for them. John Wick. But I can’t say I love Virgil. Nowhere near my Braxton

But What About The Rest Of Us? V isn’t going anywhere. And there are always you, our children, and a few friends. I’m not counting myself. The man I am. I want him far away.

Only that’s the man you fell in love with. Underneath these clothes is an endless story. And the man you chose. I swear, Shakira, Shakira, ha-ha! Bragging about my manhood?

But seriously, The Space In Between Us, my love, this is what I’ve been thinking about all morning. I keep saying that Braxton is sending me messages from books lately. Between how to keep a fur buddy’s memory alive and Darrow protecting his friends, too.

Now, ask me what that tells me about being close to you, my love. All of my fears, the fence, and our finances. Braxton got so close to me before I knew anything, love. While you had me saying Somethin’ Stupid. B Gives Virgil Space

1150 Days Without B III, Day 591 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 048 ~Will Needs His Space~

I get pretty tongue-tied when I talk to women, and then I go ahead and write something like this… It’s a reason I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid, and people call me a headcase. Will Needs His Space.

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Gospel 048 ~Will Needs His Space~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so how can I be mad? Well, I know quite a few Republicans that hate so much more. Only I don’t want to speak about hate because I love you. Talk about Doublethink, I tell you all the time you take my breath away. Sometimes it’s like I’ll overflow with everything about you. Today though, it was like being in love with the stars, how high can I go. It was like loving a grave. Make no mistake, I would die for you. I was reminded of that poem Suicide’s Note.

“The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.” –

Langston Hughes

You’re not “Equipped” to be loved this much. Well, you did marry me, after all. Now you know I come out of nowhere with my music, but today I want to share my favorite song with you, one anyway. It’s called Moondust (Stripped; EP Version) by Jamyes Young. He sings about burying his love, and for some reason, this stands out to me. It’s not only because of my novel. I named “The Business,” “The Moondust.” I’ve been thinking about how many friends I’ve lost and how I’m always afraid that someday you’ll leave. One wrong word, and it’ll be like something out of the movie “Pontypool.” You say I’m a hard man to know, and I want to be so close but not today. Hell all the movies, music, my manuscript, to tell you the truth. Okay then, I’m mad as Hell, My Love.

That’s what I’m burying, this rage that I feel at so many that I know it would send you running. As the song goes, I bury my love to give the world to you. I won’t have you rob me of my hate, but I can’t give it to you.

I bury my tears everywhere else but not where you can see them. A man ain’t supposed to cry; yeah, another song. I need to lie down, though, and I don’t know if you or my firstborn could help me.


I bury myself in my work… no, not like that. Let me work harder or, as people say, all work and no play. I need some awesome video game carnage, and does that make me sound like a kid again.

Now that’s what I won’t do? I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that. I keep burying the man I am, and for what? I love you.

Only Will Needs His Space.

I Will Have No Fear

A Feat Under His Heel

I wish I could have gotten up, not that I have to, my Kindle is full of books, but I had to take that first step to read this, and I could not stop, also another reason nobody saw me reading this book at work. A Feat Under His Heel, quite a challenge

One foot in front, that’s a step, perhaps being the bigger man, and even now I feel like I’m walking on eggshells because I was in no hurry to finish this story. However, don’t let that suggest my “great” endorsement of “Under His Heel” By Adara Wolf, I was more to the point of running away from it. For the record, I’m male, straight, and a dominant and while I have been reading the erotica genre for years, my review may be slanted and more critical, but if I can, I will focus more on the book itself but no promises, so here we go.

Other than being maybe the first “space” adventure I’ve read with a BDSM theme the plot isn’t anything new, to be honest, some guy gets into trouble, needs fast cash, and ends up in the service of a Captain Johannes Tracht, but of course, you can get that from the blurb. I didn’t find that the environment though served much for a change a pace, more like instead of keeping someone in a dungeon or some area, you keep them in dead space and what is it they say, no one can hear you scream. One of Captain Tracht’s fetishes, sensory deprivation, should that have come with a spoiler alert, in BDSM everyone has their thing, and it was somewhat refreshing to learn about his, it’s enough to give someone ideas, regardless of their sexual preference, tools of the trade.

The whole feet thing along with the clothing was not my cup of tea, but that’s the tip of the iceberg with this title, there’s a mountain of negatives, but that’s me being me, but you should know there is a reason for this title Under His Heel. One more would be that of Total Power Exchange, only in this world, it is entirely enforceable by the law, and Captain Tracht utilizes it with no mercy when it comes to his bondservant, Alex. It became a bit repetitive and annoying. I’m all for submission, but I suppose the idea of having someone with apparently no will of there own is one more thing that doesn’t sit well with me but to each his own which was my way of thinking as I trudged my way through this title, for days.

It was a feat to get through it all, but at least I wasn’t surprised “again” not my first time reading about a “man cave” is that even a thing… anyway, I don’t run from a challenge and while I read mostly for enjoyment and to better my writing this was something else. I can’t even begin how to imagine how women would take this title though if it’s how most men look at two women, then I’m sure this will get them going honestly.

The book’s saving grace, but I’ll get to that; out of Captain Johannes Tracht and Alex Stone (immediately made me think of a porno), I’ll choose Captain Tracht merely because it’s always better to be the hungry than the food. Minus the guy chasing and the obsession with feet he is somewhat a man that I can relate to but by no means was he my favorite character, I leave that honor to Jeremy Parsons and thank heavens for Nadia Sinclair; give me a book about her and I’m interested.

Captain Tracht is, stop me if you’ve heard this one, confident, somewhat wealthy, and a long list of expletives I shouldn’t say if I want this posted anywhere so basically he’s the man all the bad girls want. From Ms. Espinosa who desired his body wantonly, the fetishes that he and Dr. Singh shared, and even his sister that wanted him to be a bit nicer when it came to his own family; probably another reason I liked Parsons so much. Also like any dominant, he is quite protective of Alex, but again it’s one thing to have a submissive under contract but with how he treated him, either the moments were a bit hateful, humiliating, or horny, just saying.

Alex was an idiot, most times when I read about a female submissive, she’s naïve, new, but never stupid but Alex, as Captain Tracht will bring up, again and again, is moronic or easily manipulated but of course he has a contract to back him up. Mr. Stone comes off as the muscle, perhaps another selling point for women because he treats women poorly unlike Captain Tracht who is quite respectful; unless a woman messes up professionally, but he loves to torture Alex because of his treatment of women. The only time I even think anything of Alex is when he has his friendship with Parsons or Nadia, probably the only two people that don’t treat him like garbage or a hole they should fill.

Titles such as this are never known truthfully for traditional or “family values” but I liked Parsons because despite what he did, he only wanted to provide a future for his loved ones and when it came to him and Captain Tracht *sigh*, I didn’t like it but Alex signed up, and the Captain does what he does. I would have liked to see something spring up between Alex and Nadia and if men don’t do it for me, neither do tattooed girls with shaved heads, though I could tell you some stories, probably not better than this, not yet.

Three Stars out of Five and I would probably go two, but that would be me, being mean and bored, not to mention not turned on except for a sex scene with women and those were far too few and short. I should also warn you there might be a few more spoiler alerts, but if you like dominant men and it doesn’t matter who’s catching then this is a good book, but sci-fi fans shouldn’t get their hopes up if you’re looking for technical intrigue in the space realm.

I am in no way inspired to read the sequel to this, here’s hoping my erotica reading group doesn’t get any ideas for the time being; this isn’t a bad book by Adara Wolf; it’s not for me, point blank period but I took a somewhat leap. There is a decent note here or there; I remember looking up the name of one of the space stations and having a fascinating read about the Greeks which served as a nice break… how long did it take me to read this? The author gave me that glimmer of hope that this wouldn’t be what I was expecting, I did a review of “Shiver” By Ella Frank, and I said I didn’t read carefully enough to know what I was getting into, and it was… never mind.

Probably my favorite part of the story was “Tracht Made Alex (sleep with) Nadia at one point.” And that was during a somewhat orgy chapter, nothing wrong with that and I was probably dragging at some point. Parsons did break my heart which is probably where that third star comes into play, and I don’t mean what he did but what happens to him. If Alex did what he did on the grounds of, Captain Tracht being his benefactor, I could understand, but this seems more like Stockholm Syndrome than any real love or affection. Besides the punishments, I liked Tracht’s sister who has a stronger role in the next book, but even wanting to see Tracht be put down is not enough to warrant that reading, to be honest.

Three Stars for a book I would rather avoid, but I read what I read, and as always I appreciate being open to a new point of view, what friends I have in the LGBT community don’t talk about their love lives, and I don’t ask, and I’ve never thought to broach the subject of BDSM. Some books are meant to challenge the mind, to teach new things, to even give you a sense of accomplishment and so this has, A Feat Under His Heel.

Wright Height

Clearing my head but men dream of many great things I believe, well one and all other thoughts just sort of circle around that during the day. “Wright Height”, I wanted to be a pilot once upon a time, I wished.

And who was the first man to believe?
Was it he who ran the numbers
or those who became art lovers
who painted forbidden fruit on the trees,
until it was so conceived?
Maybe the Wright brothers,
to the man that pilots the space shuttle.
that Autumn leaves

left much to be desired
The dreams of boys to men
Going where no one has ever been
How much higher,
cause no one told me about her,
making me wish I was a little bit taller…

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Valerian and Basic Male Psychology

Men have fought wars for many different reasons, they have saved lives, they have travelled the stars but behind every great achievement, behind every move than man has made, there has always been a woman. Valerian and Basic Male Psychology hmm?

Tell me something I don’t know, I like explosions, I like pretty girls, and I wouldn’t mind being brain-dead for a few hours. Okay so I wasn’t exactly expecting Shakespeare but I’m not exactly an idiot either; I have seen plenty of movies where people say you have to read the book to understand… I think this is one of those but the problem is I really don’t want to.

It makes me think about those adult coloring books for children, this movie has plenty of colors and you’ll wake up in a bit wondering where all the time went. “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” reminiscence of any Michael Bay movie just toned downed by yeah a thousand and still, it is visually stunning. Speaking of stunning I’m more a fan of Cara Delevingne/Laureline but it’s Rihanna/Bubble that actually stands out for me in the film though the X-Men’s Mystique might have something to say about it.

If you’ve got time to kill and a bit of cash and you’re too grown up for coloring books, I’ll say it’s worth a watch but not spectacular at all. Now that I have appeased the gods of Fandango let’s get a bit more in depth, which isn’t much of a dig concerning the source material. As I said, I’m all for explosions and random acts of violence but the catalyst of this film is humanity is shooting at somebody and I suppose I have to read the comics to figure out reasons of than people just being people really.

“People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!” Idiocracy

When I wasn’t saying, look at the pretty colors… I should have seen this in 3D, I wasn’t looking at all the mindless cannon fodder and sure, most movies have the peons and the hero escaping death but seriously I was just wondering how. Maybe a quick lesson, bright colors and a futuristic setting in the future, is not a reason to skimp on story.

The movie did start out with the best of attentions, I was actually sort of inspired, honestly today idiots are worshiped and people downplay any actual achievement. How do you keep men’s interest because I do think this movie is focused more on men, so throw in the beautiful women, as I said this was male psychology not that women won’t find this film enjoyable.

This movie can be compared to a lot of other better movies, from “The Fifth Element” design to “Avatar” white man saves blue people, to any number of government corruption movies that are out and about today. Once you get past the futuristic aspect, is there such a thing as too much sci-fi, Valerian is seriously flirting with it and speaking of flirting I think this is one of those reasons women might not like this. Maybe I’m reading too much into it; two hours for a light show but this movie did have a redeeming quality here or there.

Laureline, of course, was a tough young woman and it is a nice change of pace when the woman isn’t just I’m as tough as any man or independent, guys are expected to chase girls but a woman saving the guy. I can’t say enough about Bubble, Rihanna, I wish she had a bigger part, beautiful, sexy, hardcore when the need arose, a bit naïve and is this movie really trying to set itself up for a squeal. If anything Valerian was made more of a background character between the two of them, almost a bad guy considering Laureline did most of the universe saving, Valerian did the girl saving.

Which was another sad point that Valerian and Laureline had almost zero chemistry, sexual attraction but as Laureline summed up, she didn’t just want to be another name for the playlist. When they put Bubble and Laureline together in one scene to “seduce” Valerian that’s where you actually saw any real emotion as in love.

Speaking of love, I think that story was a bit rushed, I mean it was nearly nonexistent and as I was telling a friend, men will do anything if they think they can get at some girl parts, that’s practically how Laureline saved the city of a thousand planets. Three stars easy, but I was expecting so much more, a friend thought it looked like Star Wars, I wouldn’t do Star Wars such a disservice to compare the two really.

Guys will like it for the fighting, a few technical aspects, plenty of cannon fodder, close enough to sex without actual sex and that as soon as you see Clive Owen you know the movie. Women will like it for the feminist aspects, women are geniuses at everything, the girl saves the boy, the girl saves the universe but gets no credit, how about that she’s every woman idea and that men can’t be trusted with anything, even the guy had a girl inside him… long story. I wouldn’t necessarily see it again but I will have it on my Amazon watch list at some point which will be a lot sooner than later possibly.

The first star, of course, is for the attempt and for the noble intentions of humanity, if you liked The Fifth Element then this is quite tolerable. The second star for women in general, the actresses were excellent and I was sort of zoning out before Bubble. Lastly, a star for not giving up, most movies like this rely too heavily on visuals that they expect everyone to forget about the actual plot, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets had one as confusing and yet simplistic as it was and the ending was good just far too rushed.

If I ever see it for half off I might be enticed to go and see it again but this story was more a one night stand but the cast of it was committed, and if I were Valerian… he made the right choice, even if it took a woman to show him; men as a species are doomed. No worries though, as long as there is some woman that a man wants, I believe science will continue to advance and so will date nights to movies like this one.