I’m Superbad At Being Booksmart

If only my school had been well this, and with all the nostalgia I would never want to go back unless I’m friends with Gigi, though Molly and Amy were the stars and we’re reaping the benefits of an all-female Superbad. I’m Superbad At Being Booksmart

I’m Superbad At Being Booksmart

Is it wrong to say that I didn’t see all of Superbad? In truth, I was never one for teen movies. Nowadays I would say I relate more to Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, so that reveals my age. The film Booksmart is a lot more modern and plenty stupider, but in this case, it’s not a bad thing as it’s a laugh riot. More like it would start one I’m not sure which. I watched a few people walk out on the advance screening I saw. It won’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

If you liked Superbad and said to yourself, “what if the leads were girls,” then you have Booksmart. The same basic tropes, partying, looking to hook-up and plans over the summer. Minus the fetch quest for alcohol. Some adventures got left out of the trailer. You could be one of those types that watched Freaks and Geeks. You might have said it was a more accurate representation of any high school. More than say Saved By The Bell. My school days are long past, but I buy Booksmart more than Zack Morris no question. Are you only looking for a laugh with some funny women? Kaitlyn Dever “Amy” and Beanie Feldstein “Molly” bring it. Should I be thanking Olivia Wilde and Will Ferrell instead? The movie’s cast was new to me except for Billie Lourd “Gigi,” Lisa Kudrow “Amy’s Mom” and Jessica Williams “Ms. Fine.”

As for what you know, two smart girls are all Fuddy-duddy for four years. Then they discover this netted them nothing. Yes everyone appears to have bright shining futures ahead of them as well. Who would bother to bribe their way into college, yeah I couldn’t resist. So with four years of no mistakes. Molly the pushy one and Amy the reserved intend to make all the crappy decisions they can. On one night at one party and so let the hilarity ensue. There is also a touch of The Breakfast Club. Only not resigned to the school. Yes, we are meeting several characters throughout the last day of their class. And the morning after.

Don’t get your hopes up; there are a few promises of sex. The humor is all over the place, and if you’ve ever looked at a Barbie, a particular type of way drools. Nope, there won’t be any nudity. Still, I wouldn’t advise bringing the kids unless their headed high school way. I would call this movie an original piece, but somebody was a fan of the genre. Again, if you put these girls against the Superbad guys, I think you would have one great movie. It would work out.

Choosing between the two leads of Molly and Amy, I couldn’t. So I pick Gigi. Lisa Kudrow doesn’t have more than ten minutes. Jessica Williams will bring a bit more naughtiness. Only Billie Lourd’s character popped up everywhere and often. Other characters were a bit underdeveloped and were the standard stereotypes. The jock, the drama geeks. The “Village Bicycle” though that’s harsh as I’m talking about a high school movie. Gossip, and rumors, attempting my impression of a movie critic?

Now there is a lack of most character stories in part to be sure. Such friendship building shows brilliantly. You see Molly and Amy, who are besties at the start; you see how they both come into their own. Then run back to each other with everything happening. Jared and Gigi were another. Especially when you hear how Jared tells it and talks about a relationship. I won’t spoil any of these for you, because I’m not that kind of guy. Second, you saw some coming, and others were like okay a twist. Some we hear about on the news, but again this was high school driven. So when “him” and “her” come together well, the ending adds a bit to the humor. As always though people always find something to complain about these days, don’t we all know right.

Again Gigi was my favorite, and I adore Molly and Amy. Only the Pizza Delivery Guy played by Michael Patrick O’Brien. He reminds me how most people look at my studies. Relax I’m a writer and when the guy was talking which was in the trailer. Let’s say he knows a lot about certain things. Principal Brown acted by Jason Sudeikis, might resonate with teachers if Ms. Fine doesn’t. Though as a guy, most guys are asking, “where is my Ms. Fine?” Principal Brown had one of the funniest scenes when it comes to the “mechanics” of sex and finances. There’s no over the top sexualization of women. Well unless we’re talking about toys again showing the range of the leads. Still, they were in the roles of high schoolers.

For a movie full of new faces for me, while not mind-blowing if I saw them in another film, I’d be that more inclined to watch it. Now I don’t mean to offend anybody, though truth be told if it wasn’t for the free ticket? It did open me up to a whole new genre since the last “teenage” oriented movies I cared to see. They were about rebellion and dystopian futures. I watched the young women from those franchises blowup into household names. For these women, they indeed show so much promise no doubt.

If this were Fandango, I would give it a four out of five stars. So that’s what eight in IMDB and don’t get me started on Rotten Tomatoes as with the state of schools. That’s something I don’t quite understand yet, not that Booksmart is confusing at all. The highest praise I can give this is the fact that I would have paid to see it. Only no promises I’ll go and see it again, but the point is I’m thinking about it. Warning, you should turn away now if you don’t want a taste of the spoilers. I’m finally going to lay down here.

As for a favorite scene, I’ll have to go with the pizza place because it reminds me of my job. Not pizza, again writing and how the guy explained all the things that could happen to Molly and Amy. You figured that was way too much information, I’ve heard the term skeevy for a lot less. Again Gigi, nothing but love, still with the funniest scene involves something of hers. The aftermath of Molly and Amy as dolls. Amy is getting into herself with the prospect of remaining in such a form. The ending is a bit lacking but quite sweet, one of those gushy moments. I laughed during the credits; the wrong generation ha.

Unless you’re sure of the “maturity” of your kids, they should stay home. Now as for those first-year students and of course, seniors. Both high school and life will laugh their heads off at this movie. Your grandpa might have a few choice words. I’m not that old. Now the Mothers and daughters who have that BFF type of relationship? Wow was Molly sort of like Amy’s mom; what Amy’s actual mom did with that panda. Hell, what Amy did with that panda. Something they should have shown, okay I’m back they were good girls. Despite Amy getting arrested for helping everybody. The only thing I can say I didn’t like about this movie is along the lines of standing with Molly. That everybody getting drunk, high, and plenty stupid got into college. Imagine Modern Family. Haley and Dylan are getting into the same school as Alex and not only that but graduating with honors.

Of course who was looking for realism? Though Booksmart has a basis in reality or I hope so but my time is long past. Perhaps that’s the best thing this movie did is give me feelings of nostalgia for my days in school. For now, at least I can’t say I’m Superbad At Being Booksmart.

The Language Of Life Itself

What is the meaning of life, there was a point when I would have said love but if this movie is any indication there is plenty of tragedy that makes you wonder is it worth it… this movie is worth seeing without a doubt. “The Language Of Life Itself.”

One name Samuel L. Jackson, though I don’t know whether to say, way to hide the good stuff or I’m warning you, because you know what’s he’s known for, and even if it is a five-minute cameo, the language is going to remain. I sat in the theater having to remind myself that “Life Itself” is a rated R movie because nothing in the trailers prepared me for this which in a way is a Pleasant surprise, though I saw one mother who brought her son, and an old lady yelling at a studio guy about the language she heard.

If this is what the fans of “This Is Us” watch, what have I been missing, the story though is top notch, and the stars that I recognized were awesome but do I call it a love story, a tragedy, a few laughs here and there but like watching The Lion King after Mufasa dies. You should be prepared for the graphic nature and the storytelling within the film and don’t get attached to characters; it will be a tearjerker if you can deal with the pacing and the shock value of the tale. Now with Fandango appeased perhaps a better explanation of the story would be to call it a series because overall the “drama” while great leaves one with a sense of, I whip my head back and forth, though down is a pretty decent direction just saying.

It amazes me what they get away with on screen sometimes, not that I’m one of those people who enjoys whining about how can they do that but when you compare Oscar Isaac’s character of Will to Olivia Wilde’s Abby well you can guess where they knew to draw the line. Again not with the speech though but I think it was toned down in later parts of the movie, or maybe that’s how New Yorker’s talk… but again I’m not trying to play Annie Wilkes from Misery. When you go from tragedy to tragedy, to disaster, to drama and then the ending but which would I be referring to since I counted at least five couples and the movie could have focused on one, not at all I think.

They were all needed though you only tend to focus on one emotion and spoiler alert it ain’t happy because the moment you begin to feel that well, Life Itself can be funny at times, and I do mean that. Only two of all the couples caught my eye but maybe because I have a thing for girls named Olivia, or I have an idea of a specific type of girl as many of my friends have noticed to be fair, plus it was also the end of the movie.

Attempting to stick to the trailer, two young New Yorkers are together, love and marriage expecting their first child and as I said, do not let the promo put a smile on your face if you’re a fan of the first two leads. Honestly, though I genuinely related to Will and not only in name and I know it’s a scary thought if you go and watch the movie but for a man to be in love so much… and that’s only the beginning of the heartbreak; have tissues ready.

I liked Abby too because she grew to become so understanding and with her past, how could she not fall in love with Will; their relationship is what dreams should all be and something I might want for myself someday. Can’t say I had as strong a reaction to Javier and Isabel’s love played by Sergio Peris-Mencheta and Laia Costa, so of course to give it a bit of extra punch you throw Antonio Banderas as Mr. Saccione into the mix. Though the feelings of the two men wanting what was best for Rodrigo (Àlex Monner) brought a lot of emotion and I only wished my father somehow gave that much caring, yeah that hit pretty close to home honestly.

As I have already mentioned the Lion King and laughter in the aftermath and Samuel L. Jackson is only a brief cameo we have Jean Smart as Linda and Isabel Durant playing Shari, but why did I find it so humorous that they could take the tragedy and turn it into a funny, rooting for construct? However alone, not one character truly stood out and compared to the minimal screen time of everyone involved, that’s why the stakes have to know such incredible heights for everyone to give the characters any depth. In a way, it’s like “GTA V” that everyone who sees this movie will find at least one persona to go with and even more so, a chapter to love and trust me that this film will help with this in a way.

Again for me, Will’s family was the best though, in this age of political correctness, I’m sure that someone will have a problem with that, Americans, a fan of Star Wars, I like the theme song, and the women though no worries on the sex front but considering everyone has kids… It’s also worth mentioning about the theme song that I won’t say yet, that it plays a pivotal role in the movie, if I understand anything about Abby’s college stuff, it’s an unreliable narrator or the only true one.

On the Fandango scale I’ll give it a four out of five, so am eight out of ten for inflation, I would definitely see it again now that I’m over the initial shock of the first time around and yes this movie will do that but do This Is Us fans have nerves of steel or what? From this point forward there will be spoilers, so you know, but I do recommend this film and if you don’t care what kids hear or for them to see you cry then bring them along as well.

One of the things that I didn’t like about this movie, well… people talk about trailers telling too much or featuring things that never make an appearance, “Get Out” deer skeleton or “Happy Death Day” In Da Club for examples but Life Itself is nothing like you’re expecting. I think the tragedy scale is set somewhat high I mean if you don’t have the guts to show one person you don’t get extra for traumatizing the audience with the next death, no matter how graphic, quick but it is quite violent. While I appreciate the good sense to break up the movie into chapters, with most stories the sections correlate, and this was more a miniseries of shorts that fulfilled the overall story of one life that is only on camera for five minutes truthfully.

My favorite parts, Will and Abby, the scene where he is attempting to explain that one day together, and you’re wondering, did they divorce, die, get disintegrated by aliens, and Will can’t seem to make up his mind before. Dylan played by Olivia Cooke; you could see her story arc coming from a mile away, and though her ending was somewhat, unfulfilling, she did a terrific job with the character and the small love story. I’ve already talked about the song which was Make You Feel My Love, sung by Bob Dylan and covered by numerous artists and it didn’t get old or repetitive as many times as it was played in “Life Itself” *sigh*.

Life Itself is masterful storytelling, but it felt more like several great stories that got around to making a good one and is there such a thing as “perfect” anyway, that can be a dirty word too if you think about it. So I’ve done a lot of it myself, trying to untangle it all and if I uttered one final word, it would have to be *ahem* “complicated” which is the truth because what can be more dramatic than The Language Of Life Itself.

Fairytales of The First Purge

A review brought to you by the word “subtlety,” which this movie has none of and you know it shouldn’t, if the news every day isn’t freaking you out, as this film appears more like a documentary on America *shudders*. “Fairytales of The First Purge.”

Once upon a time in a film far, far away, well as Randy Marsh would say, “I Thought This Was America” and it is, The First Purge pulls no punches and if you’re not looking to be offended black, white or otherwise maybe you should skip this one, because you will be offended. One way or another this movie is meant to rub you in the wrong way but not like Lex Scott Davis as “Nya” and speaking of the cast I can’t say I honestly knew who any of the actors or the actresses were but even without huge names, it’s still so awesome.

However seeing as how this is a prequel to all the other movies in the franchise, is this one came out before The Purge (2013) I don’t believe the franchise would have ever taken off the way that it has. The First Purge is plenty political, some horror and if you want to see a black man honestly save the day without a good white man to be seen you have to check this out though some call it propaganda, I say “truth hurts.” Leave the kiddies and MAGA hats

Fandango gods appeased, okay you want something genuinely controversial, *ahem* The First Purge was probably blacker than Black Panther, now I hear you all booing, being an African-American man from the suburbs what do I know, my grandmother’s house was only Projects adjacent. I’ve never been to Africa and the only time I thought about it was to see what inspired the land of Wakanda, with The First Purge I was brought up with a ton of racially charged movies. A black crime lord is what is going to tick plenty of African-Americans off; this movie has some black on black crime, a killer high off everything and the hero; well, we’ll get to that, no spoilers but get ready.

Now any white people who use the word as I said propaganda has undoubtedly not seen the President and who he supports, if anyone is mad because of that, look in the mirror, and I will show you a racist. I think plenty of people missed the boat when it comes to The First Purge, always too much of something but I don’t think there was enough purging, and that’s one of the points, but I do think this movie is trying to imagine people as better than they are.

At least when the purge first begins, this movie is not meant to be subtle by any means, it’s focus and truly direct, a “This Is America” reference in your face like Childish Gambino and there is no spoon full of sugar, take your medicine. If you bury your head in the sand for all the references this movie displays, it’s still one hell of a ride, if you like guns, your heroes manly, and as was said in the trailer, you’ll see the best and the worst of people.

Long story short, an experiment will take place on Staten Island they call The Purge, residents may leave if they choose but are offered five-thousand dollars to stay and are implanted to make sure. Those who wish to “participate” may earn more, what a way to find out who to purge and two opposite sides of the spectrum, Nya with no money and “Dmitri” played by Y’lan Noel, the rich drug dealer are saying the same thing, “DO NOT PURGE.” We also have “Dr. Updale” played by Marisa Tomei… excuse me for not recognizing her, but who I agree with well her concept even if it was proven wrong, right…

Politics, Horror, action aside, the President is a racist for those of you who don’t know and you see this when Dr. Updale’s theory is disproven and the NFAA steps in, with full KKK, Nazi, and *gasp* cop uniforms, where one man is beaten to death by the police. It gets worse in another scene we see armed white men leaving a church, where they have shot the congregation to death. In one of the lesser gruesome moments, let’s call it a Trump moment when Nya feels the hands of an “unknown” assailant and three guesses as to what he was feeling for, she’ll tell you as she runs away.

Another reason people will hate this movie besides facing themselves is that sometimes you only want to quiet your mind for a bit, but this is The First Purge I’m talking about; you sort of know what you’re about to watch. Show somebody that knows nothing about America and isn’t white, and they might seriously reconsider coming here, which might show how great this country is, if this doesn’t scare them away that’s for sure.

The reason I’ll give The First Purge four stars (Fandango Scale) is because it couldn’t figure out what it truly wanted to be, better than one, lesser than Anarchy, I would tie it with Election Night. If I haven’t given too much away up to this point, prepare for spoilers but movies these days give too much away at this time, but somethings got to me here and there, both great and annoying just saying.

Near the end, the film says, okay you know who’s going to survive let’s have our leading man kill some Nazis and have him be redeemed back with his lady and the community, though you know in the long run they failed as The Purge went nationwide. In ways, this movie will hurt you, but we can’t forget, how the ruling party talks “thoughts and prayers” while Nya and Dmitri show that we must take action. It was ironic that all the guns Dmitri’s crew bought up that the NFAA thought would be used to kill the poor came back when they fought against the goons the NFAA brought in.

A few of my favorite parts, when Dmitri and company helped out “The Three Wiseman” from a KKK raid, and how the citizens themselves would not surrender even when they were out of bullets and were ready for the final attack. The battle of Nya’s building when Dmitri let loose on the Nazis, and Nya with her brother took up arms despite both having failed to kill anybody for the majority of the movie at that point. Who didn’t like the killer prostitutes, that took me back to my days of playing Saints Row: The Third, talk about predictable but yes most of the movie was you have to roll with it, well you might.

You should; you have to if you don’t think we’re approaching these days, hell you might even say we’re there because how are some people punished again but others will believe this movie is punishment enough. For me, I’ve stopped myself from seeing it again a couple of times while I’m out and about, if I want to watch this country descend into madness, I’ll watch the news tonight seriously Fairytales of The First Purge.

How Long Is Infinity Avengers

I think half of us don’t feel so good and the other half can’t wait to see what happens next and to believe there was a time when I was young that I thought the Power Glove might have been the meanest thing, ask Thanos. How Long Is Infinity Avengers?

Four stars are just the beginning if I can count how many moments I have thought about “Avengers: Infinity War” throughout my day, how about how many tears I’ve cried if I were the crying type or how long it took me to catch my breath. How about how long my heart stopped but if there is one thing you can count on is an Avengers movie to be awe-inspiring and how hard it’s been to keep my mouth shut other than one word, Wow.

I can honestly say for one moment that I was utterly bereft of hope to see something like this, and I wanted the movie to be longer because I couldn’t believe it, and yes this is a superhero movie, but still, I expected I don’t know. As far as the cast goes, I can’t single out one single character because they were all so incredible, how all their movies meshed into that of the greater Marvel universe and I still can’t believe people walk out at any sign of the credits I mean it’s a MARVEL movie people. This film will leave you utterly speechless.

Now with the appeasement of Fandango, what the holy hell was that; I will be the first one to *sigh* the usual endings of this type of thing, and I should warn you now there will be spoilers near the end of my review. Usually, I tend to ramble, and I think Marvel tends to stretch their movies, but this is probably the second movie I sincerely wished was longer next to Black Panther because with Infinity War it’s like no this can’t happen when it’s all over. Let me also say that besides the ending that will undoubtedly draw more people, I think Marvel are some geniuses when they again put Black Panther as the last movie before this; I’m surprised there isn’t more noise considering, to be honest.

The comic fans though must be feeling pretty smug in their superiority, Marvel has me I’ll admit and yes without a doubt I will see the next movie, but I won’t be buying the comics anytime soon, strange since I try to read books before watching films. Here you are reading my thoughts on the subject though; anybody (there’s a tumbleweed) well how long has Thanos been working towards his plan, my perspective is over with a finger snap perhaps.

In the spirit of full transparency, I’ve not seen every single Marvel movie, my list of reasons spanning from, I think Natalie Portman is hot, or I like seeing heroes fight each other, and one of my favorites, I’m an African-American man. So instead of listening every single film that I have seen let’s focus on this one, stop me if you heard this, bad guy wants to do bad things, and a group of superheroes that aren’t exactly friends must stop him somehow, someway.

How to blend so many different storylines, there are sure to be a few misses, not that it takes from the movie at all but they don’t go unnoticed and tying everything into a cute bow is incredibly impressive. Visually and maybe I’m jaded by this point, but it wasn’t the most beautiful place, but you’re mesmerized in the world and everybody I suppose drifts to their favorites heroes which is again a hit and miss with me. Of course, we get the Stan Lee cameo, which is one of those things that I can’t honestly comment on seeing as how I’m not this comic book fanatic but something that I look forward to considerably.

As far as villains go, always you have to do your research since they can be as replaceable as villain A, B, and C, along with an army of henchmen or let’s say cannon fodder. Honestly, we all just wanted one big fight right. You’ll get that sure enough and Thanos for me I was a lot more impressed with his mindset than his imposing figure, seeing as how I am a fan of The Purge Franchise no doubt which can be a scary thought. Comedy-wise, the jokes hit their mark though there was one moment in particular that made me cringe and no it wasn’t the ending but will get to that one misstep.

Think of Avengers: Infinity War as a more colorful and happy “Watchmen” with a more significant body count, Marvel vs. DC can’t say I have ever chosen a side but if we count the movies I’ve seen, I like Batman but sorry DC. Avengers: Infinity War is different from its other films by the fact that you want to learn about this world and everything in it. As in most of the flicks, you have a moral question, but they gave me a book so that I could understand the Infinity Gauntlet, I want it.

If we’re going by the Fandango scale I’ll give it four out of five stars, yes I know I’m hard to please, and I become upset over the dumbest things, but the fact that this movie didn’t have me looking at my watch is saying something. How about saying this, don’t look any further than here, this movie won me over, I’d see it again, I would buy it, I’ll see the next one but enough time has passed so yes spoiler alert, just saying.

The moment that made me cringe and yes this was so freaking dumb for me to care about is when they arrive at Wakanda and Bruce Banner is wondering whether or not to bow to King T’Challa, and he does. So yeah it’s a bit of an awkward moment, can’t stand stupidity for stupidity’s sake. Then we have Thanos and minions, can you say Darkside, more comic book wars or what have you; Thanos’s plan, is excellent and the fact that you might be able to see a bit where he’s coming from I believe. How about the fact that some major cities have bared the brunt of evil and suddenly Wakanda is being asked to throw everything into this, to me, it’s a bit unfair but whatever gets fans.

As for the moments that got me to geek out, must I say this with every review, yes because I don’t like to lie or omit and in this day and age men are being taught saying anything will get you in trouble? *Ahem* I adore the ladies, in particular, Scarlet Witch and Black Widow and where’s Valkyrie? The battles always get me but I wanted to see more of what the Infinity Gauntlet could do before Thanos went for the main course, and I wished the fight was even more detailed, I mean not just the heroes. Spider-Man and not the end but that moment Tony Stark knighted him somewhat into the Avengers and of course the ending that I never saw coming at all; who is Captain Marvel?

I’m hoping I won’t end up like Annie Wilkes seeing all the sequels that will be coming out to explain all that has happened; I’m somewhat surprised there wasn’t more of an outcry except against Star-Lord. No use crying about it now since you can see if Thanos got to you “didthanoskill.me” but I doubt any of us will be gong long, until 2019 but How Long Is Infinity Avengers.

Pacific Rim: Uprising Or Something

Did the old “Godzilla” have robots, those were before my time. Sorry to say Pacific Rim: Uprising should have waited a bit longer, for somebody to come up with a proper story for a great idea I think. Pacific Rim: Uprising Or Something

Maybe uploading, up to something, upchucking but the movie wasn’t that bad, was it; usually, you give me a hero I can root for, John Boyega as Jake Pentecost. A pretty spunky brunette Cailee Spaeny as Amara Namani and plenty of Jaegers and Kaiju and you would think I’d be a happy camper, but not happy, not wowed, but okay another big monster movie. I feel like John Boyega is trying to distance himself from Star Wars, so let me say that this is not the way to do it, but he makes an effort.

Try harder, and I don’t say this just to him but everybody, the whole time I was sitting there thinking something was missing, short one Charlie Hunnam, one huge chunk of backstory, and yet they have found a reason to make one more of these movies. Somebody had a plan alright, but it wasn’t a great movie. I didn’t think much of the first one, that’s why I didn’t see it in a theater, but it got me to watch this one, if you can get past wanting to be dramatic, your inner child will consider this film pretty decent.

As Fandango is now sated, whatever were they thinking with this, it’s just not there, I mean any of it, one of the things that intrigued me about the first one was the relationship between Rinko Kikuchi as Mako Mori and Raleigh Becket, where they didn’t go with the love story angle. No worries here, no love story but no story period, we know the Kaiju are coming back, but the excuse is flimsy at best, that’s just what it was an excuse. Honestly, that could’ve been it, making more money from China and Japan but big robots, big monsters, that’s about it, and trying to appeal to women, African-Americans, and Asians all at once.

Let’s not forget about the kids because Power Rangers surely isn’t fitting the bill anymore and some adults need to remember that they were once fans of several anime shows starring robots. Maybe they figured if Independence Day: Resurgence could make a quick buck then this will work, and so it has, and I might even get Pacific Rim: Uprising if it’s cheap on Amazon.

So in the tradition of all monster movies, yes they come back for one reason or another, and it’s up to a few young kids to save us, the NRA might like this movie if they were into building giant robots… I shouldn’t go giving them ideas. Not like this movie had any and maybe I’m perhaps too hard on this film, but anger is one thing, and disappointment is another, and that’s what I was, I hate when people say I have potential, so too this movie had great potential but couldn’t make it.

Okay Jake Pentecost who was never mentioned in the first movie, even though his dad won the war, even kid in Independence Day: Resurgence had a bit of a tale, anyway Jake and his adopted big sister Mako are trying to lead the fight with the return of the Kaiju. That right there was a significant plot hole, but I’ll save that for spoilers, like the reason “Gipsy Avenger” was fighting “Obsidian Fury,” I told a friend if I went into porn I am so stealing that name. Speaking of relying heavily on or straight up taking, did Scott Eastwood as Nate Lambert try to give us some of that Fast and the Furious family speech, tugging on our heartstrings?

It’s all the movie had to go on since the story again just wasn’t there, if you cut out the Kaiju entirely and went straight to Jaegers fighting Jaegers; oh right, Transformers or who remembers Robot Jox which is doing worse than Pacific Rim: Uprising, seriously people? Besides not having any real story or backstory and relying on tired clichés, visually it’s stunning if you like your CGI and there is plenty to go around and the battles, well I did fill like a kid again. Though unlike when I was a child, and I missed an episode of Power Rangers, I wouldn’t have been too upset if I skipped this but yes I’m glad I saw it. If only to be reminded that if they do make a third one, I think I’ll wait just a little bit longer.

It’s not dull, it’s entertaining but maybe don’t get your hopes up and try not to overthink it much like the Jaeger names. Do they only pull two names out of a hat, with the following exceptions of Gipsy Avenger the hero, Obsidian Fury the evil Jaeger and spoiler alert Scrapper which was truthfully the most realistic name? I can’t remember any of the names on the soundtrack of this, but I still remember the trailer music was a mix of songs, and that was badass, saying for the record.

Using the Fandango rating system, I’ll give Pacific Rim: Uprising a three out of five because I liked it, disappointed, maybe a bit sad but by no means would I say I hated it, it’s an easy way to kill time and I wouldn’t pull out my phone. So as you go to buy your tickets for this, I’d advise you not look any further for there will be spoilers ahead but this movie does have my blessing but oh why couldn’t it have been better for Pacific Rim one.

Charlie Day as Dr. Newton Geiszler and Burn Gorman as Dr. Hermann Gottlieb were back again and while I deny most of this lack of a story, there is a great twist with Dr. Geiszler, which kept me in the movie. Was Mako Mori so replaceable that they just found Tian Jing as Liwen Shao and flipped her from villain to hero so quickly, and you knew Mako wasn’t going to make it, robots, helicopter yeah, how much did this movie take from Independence Day: Resurgence? As for my favorite scene, probably Amara Namani, and not just because I have a thing for brunettes this is the first thing I’ve ever seen Cailee Spaeny in and all her scenes with John Boyega or her in Scrapper were good all around.

So that plot hole and maybe it’s dumb, even if you have no wars to fight you still have a military, but that’s just it. The Kaiju were gone, but you still need an army of Jaegers, and you’re building even more than were in the first Pacific Rim, taller or more does not always mean better. Then you want to take this army and put them under the sole control of one corporation, when has that ever not spelled trouble in something like this. Then we have the smart guy that turns into the bad guy and the bad guy suddenly becoming all good and what not, I guess, and of course, you had to throw Scrapper into that fight to only show-off some.

I wouldn’t cut this off if it were on TV, I just wanted to know, and the sad thing is I still don’t know enough like maybe I need to look for a book or a comic. Only if I don’t do it for The Walking Dead, I won’t do it for this movie. Take your kids to your couch, but if you have money to burn and want some fun movie experience well know Pacific Rim: Uprising Or Something.

Digging Up The Tomb Raider

I suppose anything to get out of America nowadays, and a pretty girl always helps though I doubt she will be anything like Lara Croft but can’t a guy dream, not that this movie will put you to sleep. Digging Up The Tomb Raider, indeed.

Some things are better left buried, and some things are just discoveries and Tomb Raider is a real discovery, or I should say Alicia Vikander as Lara Croft; as I told a friend other than thinking Lara Croft is hot, I can’t say I’ve played a lot of the Tomb Raider Series. Honestly, I like Alicia way more than the Angelina Jolie versions as Alicia’s Lara was to an extent, should I say believable, real, you could feel her character more, a more visceral hero.

Seeing as how they are trying to bring back the franchise, I give them points for their faith in this film, this is more of an origin story of Lara Croft, with throwbacks to how she became the “butt-kicking” hero we know her to be. Tomb Raider being probably the second movie I’ve seen Alicia in, I’m pretty curious to see more of her as she has yet to disappoint; if only the film tried as hard but it’s decent. Daniel Ku with another Into The Badlands alum did their thing, but who watches Into The Badlands, just me, so go and watch this movie.

Pleasing the Fandango gods first let’s now get to the real just like Lara Croft or maybe more like the villain of the movie Walton Goggins as Mathias Vogel, not that this movie made me want to go “home,” though I did look at my watch more than I would like. I didn’t go into this movie with great expectations, give me a pretty girl, a bunch of guns and… hey, I thought this was America; does nobody know Randy from South Park either? I should also say the trailer song “Survivor” filled me with a bit of nostalgia, and how about this “blasphemy,” I like the trailer way more than the original Destiny’s Child.

It sounds like I’m making excuses to why I was interested in this but movies nowadays give away so much in trailers and Tomb Raider didn’t have to do that for obvious reasons being around as long as it has. Though you know what’s coming there are still plenty of twists and turns along the way as there should be, an almost “The Twilight Zone” feeling which also works well.

I don’t remember much from the original franchise but Alicia’s Lara starts as a poor, nowhere near invincible ragamuffin with daddy issues, she’s hot, did I mention she’s hot but not is some overly sexualized type of way, though the story lets us know she’s a “fox.” Even the villains are somewhat on the broke side and working just a bit less industriously than the slaves; I can’t help but wonder though set in London was that a directing choice, familiar looking down on wealth?

Yes I’m trying to stay out of the political realm, so what about the mystical story of Himiko, while that tale made sense, the idea of Lara’s father pursuing it or even Trinity is a bit of a stretch, with his money and their control. Also, Lara taking to the bow so well, yes she’s trained, but while her first kill without it brought forth such emotion, the following battles were a bit empty of such though Daniel Ku brought up a bit of the slack. Which is another thing, again Trinity held so much power but rested on fate to find labor or attempt to uncover the tomb though that would have been too much of a throwback to other versions, attacking the manor?

While Vogel is a decent bad guy, that’s just it; he’s just villain number one, he didn’t seem to have a solid plan which makes Richard Croft ridiculous. The bad guys don’t know so I’m going to set up shop at the front door, just to say you can’t come in. Now while not pivotal plot points, Lara returned to the pawn dealer but what about her training or her other job, yeah she didn’t exactly need it but was the beginning nothing but filler?

Am I asking for this movie to be longer… no way and the fact that it isn’t like any of its predecessors is a high point, only it does seem a bit rushed at times, and there wasn’t enough back story to fill it out. At least it won’t be one of those horrible video game to movie examples, if anything it’s just a blip on the radar, almost as if they were afraid of going too far with it.

Huge risk and high reward but no I believe three stars is quite enough; not a waste of money but if honestly pressed I would have watched Black Panther for the fourth time and as Tomb Raider is concerned, would the 3D version add anything honestly? Now I should probably put up a spoiler warning as if I haven’t given too much away already; everyone already knows where the film is going without any doubt.

There are no real saving graces even if the film was a bit la dee da; nothing stood out on screen for me besides Alicia’s beauty just wow and maybe figuring out one of the puzzles in the tomb. I already mentioned the one song in the trailer but as for the movie itself only Doing Me by RAY BLK is worth writing down. Another female hero for little girls I suppose and no bloody moments though, not entirely kid-friendly, but with the things on TV now I say go ahead and take the kids; I’m the cool dad, but I only have a dog.

My favorite part would be a toss up of when Alicia gets all Lara Croft minus short shorts; she’s wearing pants just saying or the somewhat iconic scene at the end when she indeed becomes; gamers will recognize. The worst was again the overall plan, sort of like Amy ruining Indiana Jones for Sheldon and the boys but tombs got to get raided right? At least they avoided some of the standard tropes like zombies; I swear there was a scene I expected a mess load of zombies, but yeah people can be horrible enough all on their own nowadays.

In all, this is a good movie to go and kill two hours, and I am somewhat disappointed this hero won’t get as recognized as other but I work retail, and they still aren’t giving Black Widow props, but that could be more to do with her weapon of choice. Only Lara has her bow for nearly the whole movie so. Three stars, more than worth a little bit of gas but keep your expectations just so low and like pretty girls and you’ll be Digging Up The Tomb Raider.

Oh Is Death Day Today?

I could only wish someone hated me enough to come looking for me to kill me, let alone cared enough to actually remember the day but honestly I try my best to hide that day from everyone to be sure. “Oh Is Death Day Today”, is not something I’ll hide

Maybe I should quit complaining about my “birthday”, honestly, that word creeps me out more than this movie, not scary, painful, but not scary and I don’t mean painful as in it’s bad. It’s actually quite good, decent, more a parody of a slasher flick than anything else though it takes itself quite seriously honestly.

I never played “Clue” as a child but “Happy Death Day” seems to be akin to that I believe and it was fun trying to guess whodunit because clearly, it’s not who it is or maybe I’m just sort of dense. The cast isn’t really known to me but they all took the roles exceptionally well and personally I always take to a love story, think Groundhog Day meets 50 First Dates. I also appreciate that they didn’t shy away from the blatantly obvious, but I won’t spoil that, a conversion between Tree and Carter.

I don’t expect this movie will be winning any awards, but I’d go see it again but Bill Murray can take it easy, I wouldn’t call “Happy Death Day” a classic anytime soon. Fandango gods having been appeased let’s get started, how did I really feel about this movie… I was honestly hoping there was more to it, I laughed, cringed here or there, and when it all came together I just went “what”? Some actors ask what’s their motivation for a particular scene and the directions must have been, remember any slasher flick with a pretty girl, what would your character do in that situation, and action.

If it does differentiate from Groundhog Day, it’s the fact that Tree technically was set to a timeframe, you probably saw in the trailer the doctor “Gregory Butler” played by Charles Aitken telling Tree that she should already be dead. It won’t take anyone long to realize how long she has to find the killer. As for the killer, my guess was wrong, I was somewhat expecting a person out of the blue but when you notice a certain aspect it’s “oh” so amazingly simple.

Not that I would call, “Tree Gelbman” played by Jessica Rothe simple, more a stereotypical, college girl, gets drunk and parties, sleeps with random guys, sticks to a particular crowd but doesn’t take crap from anybody. Of course to erase all of this they have to throw a bit of emotional depth into the mix, her romantic entanglements, the strained relationship between her and the dad, and of course and I know I keep stressing this but the Groundhog Day, I need to be a better person ideology of course.

For the most part, her character is the only one that received any real development, though giving her the love interest of “Carter Davis” meant that they cleared up how he met Tree in the first place. He became her “Rita” more Groundhog Day, the only one who she confided in about her predicament which already lets you know where this is going. As far as the character v. character development, nothing changes, though they attempt to throw you off the trail again and again.

You have the usual trope of characters from the popular sorority club president, to the dumb frat guy antics and roommates, to the yeah this guy isn’t the killer we’re looking for exactly. Now the real killer, that must have been hard, just saying how they probably shot all the scenes with Tree the same day I would have probably been laughing my head off. Plus, the backstory couldn’t help but be rushed so as not to tip off the audience of the motivation but the killer is a bit of a twist indeed.

The reasoning though again is cliché, which made the final conflict just sort of unbelievable, Tree was mad as Hell, I was pretty mad but, yeah let’s just end the killer like this and pretend Tree would have been thinking clearly. Of course the last scene, well I just sat in the theater after the credits expecting something more or even a cameo by Billy Murry or Tom Cruise, shooting for the stars am I right?

I’m essentially torn between three or four stars but I will give it four just on the grounds that birthdays suck, the movie is a solid three just so you know, and yes I’m about to get to some spoilers so you might want to turn away at this point. Maybe because I’m friends with a nanny, I feel I should mention this movie isn’t exactly bad kids, PG-13 no bad language other than bitch, no real nudity… I’m trying to figure out why she was naked, just because, some implied sex, but nothing was shown, maybe a little bit of blood but on a door, and a few minutes of violence, nothing too graphic.

The best part for me was the last death, given the fact that six were murders, one accident, one suicide and then the last one puts everything together and reveals the killer’s identity after she lived the perfect day too. On that day I also liked how she admitted her feelings for Carter, after death seven she died for him as he died for her, and she needed to reset the day and revealed: “I’m going to have his babies”. Ignoring the reasoning of the killer, the culprit eye-opening after Tree’s list and attempting to decipher who would try and kill her, you will say no way, along with the killing montage.

I like scary movies but this just wasn’t scary, though if you have no insurance and you hear how the doctor talks about Tree’s injuries, yeah ouch. I’m a fan of Blumhouse movies and I was somewhat worried “Get Out” might be a comedy but that was an original bit of horror, again Happy Death Day wasn’t a parody but more a facsimile of what a horror movie is. I just wish the characters perhaps were flushed out more, and when they showed emotion weren’t exactly over the exaggerating everything.

Three for the movie, four just on the personal level and maybe I’ll take a girl to see it sometime; speaking of girls I look forward to seeing more of Jessica Rothe. Happy Death Day, I’m glad I remembered because it is a “more than adequate” film but not legendary, Oh Is Death Day Today?

“Marshall” Law… Fine With Me

We all fear “Martial” law I suppose but this movie is nothing to be concerned with unless you have kids and you’re looking for a date night, educational but hilarious and so much more. “Marshall” Law… Fine With Me, or maybe, “Friedman Law”.

Actually, it was more than fine with me, it’s quite amazing to be sure, incredible, well worth the watch, kudos all around for the cast. I wasn’t skeptical or anything but let’s just say I wasn’t in a rush to see it but I would definitely go and see it again it has a little bit of everything to be sure making one well-done story.

From Chadwick Boseman, to Josh Gad, and Kate Hudson, though out of the three, Josh Gad really made this movie, though since it’s based on a true story I don’t know whether to say that Boseman really helped Gad to shine or if that’s just how it was between the real Marshall and Friedman in reality. As with Kate Hudson, I’m tempted to call her role cliché but it was awesome to see how well she took to it, though the ending was somewhat subdued for my taste. There is more than enough action to keep up with all the legal jargon, though with some of that action I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this as an educational tool for the kids.

So that’s enough for “Fandango” overall I like a movie that’s able to stimulate, motivate, and educate all in one; it’s films like this that sort of show me why perhaps my father ‘had’ such high hopes for me and for himself. I can’t help but wonder if the real Thurgood Marshall was such a badass, again based on a true story and just like any of the books I read you just have to know how much is on point. If I learned anything besides, some lawyer talk and of course how bad things were back then for the record, women are nothing but trouble, I’m half-way kidding maybe.

“’Cause white women
don’t bring nothin’ but trouble.

That ain’t white women, man.
That’s women.” Save The Last Dance (2001)

Honestly, I didn’t have any inclination to just go and see this movie, “Regal Crown Club” knows how to take care of its members but anyway right after the movie I was telling a friend how awesome it is. Considering this day and age I believe this movie says plenty, I almost couldn’t believe the correlation between yesteryear and today.

As far as plot, again I would usually say that this movie might feed of something like the 1997 film “Rosewood” but if anything it shows that the more things change the more they stay the same throughout history, can’t go lynching a town but that’s only a span of 1923 to around 1940 if I’m remembering the timeframe. Now I also joked about women but other than Kate Hudson who you’re supposed to hate as a character the other female roles and supporting cast were top notch and astounding.

In case the trailer didn’t give it away, “Eleanor Strubing” (Kate Hudson) frames a black man for rape and attempted murder, and it’s up to Thurgood Marshall and an extremely reluctant Sam Friedman to defend him. I’m sure some people might be somewhat disappointed since this isn’t the Chadwick talking so much loud and proud against the state he truly has to play off Josh for that but it comes out well. Maybe I’m an idiot for not seeing the truth until the end but that’s refreshing when your audience has to think and has to imagine what comes next.

Keesha Sharp and Marina Squerciati who played Marshall and Friedman’s wives respectively did quite well for what screen time they received. I wish I could remember that one woman though, who led the jury, I don’t want to risk sounding stupider but the way she and Josh played off each other, was smoking. Speaking of smoking the rest of the cast made my blood boil but in a good way and the scenes between Kate and Sterling K. Brown were done well to be sure.

Another reason you might not want to bring the kids is the language, not that it’s over the top, it’s used exactly where it’s needed but still, it’s there. The movie itself isn’t offensive but it will give African Americans and Jewish Americans something to bond over, that’s a fact.

Now if you don’t want any spoilers, I advise you turn back now with my five out of five-star blessing because these are just too good not to share. Am I making this movie sound perfect, it’s not bad at all though there are a few things I would have done differently, of course, this is history so there’s that.

“If there is absolutely no way you can get out of taking a terrible beating, the only sensible thing to do is, get in the first lick!” Billy Jack, The Trial of Billy Jack (1974)

Josh Gad made me proud when he knew he was going to get beat up but swung first and usually something like that isn’t funny but when he was expecting round two, he picked up a knife at home which his wife promptly took and handed him a bigger butcher knife (Wife Goals). Chadwick Boseman did his share of fighting and the quips he and Josh shared were excellent, even when he was forced to remain silent and speak through Gad. Of course, there was the verdict and the passing glances between the forewoman on the jury her and Gad, and Strubing and Spell, sort of reminisce of “Life” 1999

Yes, I was one of those disappointed people who expected Marshall to be all fire and brimstone but he had to work through Friedman nearly the entire time. The ending sort of just petered out, we didn’t get to see what happened to Strubing, was the whole synagogue scene just to drive the point that Friedman was Jewish and Marshall just walking off talking about dinner and the next case. I am impressed though with this one fact, that just like today, a white man commits a crime and he’s a pillar of the community he’s a good person, but a black man will have every sin dug up to villainize him, guilty or innocent.

Five stars, a great movie, if the true story of Rosewood was too hard to stomach Marshall will fit the bill with a happy ending. One more thing, just a note, I like Common and all, he and John Legend were awesome with the song “Glory” but the theme song for Marshall while decent, it’s not Glory, but anyway, this movie truly is glory honestly.

War… Wouldn’t It Be Nice

A longtime fan of the series and long since past the disastrous reboot I must say if this is indeed an ending, then this was an awesome trilogy. “War for the Planet of the Apes”, where else can Caesar go, no spoilers here

Why wasn’t I invited, conquest, not that’s been done, what about this “Battle for the…”, yeah, I saw that one too but war, I saw everything but a war but a war in this movie which is really the only problem, a misleading title, and a somewhat biblical ending maybe.

I appreciated all the throwbacks to the originals and I’m talking all the way back to the beginning “Planet of the Apes” though this movie sort of tells you that it will be the last but then again what do I know. It’s more a tear jerker than anything else so you should be prepared and for a movie with no war, maybe two battles tops it was violent and brutal. Also, some of “The Colonel’s” troops were a bit ironic, let’s just say Koba might disapprove, despite the reasoning for it, if there’s any…

Andy Serkis “Caesar” should be raking in the awards, along with Amiah Miller “The Girl” I don’t want to spoil that, and how about Karin Konoval “Maurice” and of course Steve Zahn for “Bad Ape” and the laughs. Good but really not war. So now that I have appeased Fandango what did I really think about this movie… it was awesome though the politicos among us might be in a twist and I have a tendency to read into things.

Personally, though I saw a tale of brotherhood in a way, in humanity without humans, anybody that watches animal videos on “YouTube” knows what I’m talking about. I saw apes, I saw a respect for the classic series, not without disappointments but you’ll be fully invested from beginning to end.

Andy Serkis is an awesome Caesar, now I’ve already said the cast is pretty much top notch but between Caesar, the little girl, and Maurice, there is just so much emotion being felt. Some people are going to be upset with the American imagery, why is American portrayed as the bad guys, if anything this movie has plenty of bad guys, including Caesar himself but if anything how many of us in the same position wouldn’t follow his set course.

Caesar from being king, to father, to outcast, to hero and everything in-between, and after such transformations what else could the ape have earned… can we just give Andy Serkis an award already? Now the little girl, with no spoken lines in the film was a breakout hit with me especially during the night scene in the camp, can I just say, Niagara Falls, because I wasn’t sobbing on anything like that. Maurice reminds me a lot of “Mandemus” or maybe “Virgil” from “Battle for the Planet of the Apes” the keeper of Caesar’s conscience but Virgil took Dante through Hell and it is the same thing here, I think.

“You are a good man with a good heart, and it’s hard for a good man to be a king.” – Black Panther (Feb 2018)

I don’t want to get all political here and when it comes to me and my country… it’s complicated but anyone that says America is the greatest nation on Earth is a moron. Now I don’t think this movie was saying America was bad but rather people were bad because the only truly decent individual in the whole movie was the little girl and it almost makes sense that she can’t talk. What about Caesar and the comparison to Koba, Caesar saw Koba in himself and that led him down a dark path that resulted in most of the movie even happening, because of it.

This movie is extremely well done considering I have seen people react so strongly to it and for that again the cast was great. Can I just say before I get into trouble that I’m proud to be an American and yeah we can make the country great again but why don’t people see that Trump is the bad guy, just saying The Colonel was better and Mad Caesar too.

“God wouldn’t know what… God wouldn’t know what he knows. If there is a God up there, he would have turned his back on us by now. And whoever made humanity will find no humanity here. No, sir. No, sir. So beware. Beware.” The Road

Bad Ape was about as human as you can get next to the child, maybe another reason people were so mad for a variety of reasons, some of his laughs were sort of cheap, others well deserved, and you have to remember when it came to doing something he did. I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about why I just couldn’t give this movie five stars it comes close though, so amazingly close.

“There are times when it is necessary to abandon our humanity to save humanity.” – The Colonel, War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

While I am loyal to Caesar myself there were times in the movie that make me question; the fact that you can see both hero and villain in the same light got to me some. As far as some of my favorite moments, when the child is named, or how about when Caesar is walking amongst the other apes, as they say, heavy is the head that wears the crown. All guys will understand the bro code between Caesar, Maurice, Rocket, and Luca, if men really could stand together like that worldwide maybe the humans in this film would have stood a chance but no.

Speaking of brotherhood and Luca, that was one of the things that irked me, Caesar had a gorilla lieutenant in Dawn and yet another one in “Rise”… I don’t want to spoil it. For the last time, there was no war, and some of the troops had no reason to side with The Colonel, and even amongst Caesar’s apes, you can look at one and see, yeah you know there was no mystery to him. The ending though reminded me of lessons in church, one of those War of the Worlds type of endings sadly.

I’ll probably go and see it again, and I’m taking somebody so yes the movie does have my vote and don’t mind the super duper patriots amongst us if it helps just repeat they’re just a bunch of apes. Then again four stars and a few good endorsements who knows, War… Wouldn’t It Be Nice?

 

Valerian and Basic Male Psychology

Men have fought wars for many different reasons, they have saved lives, they have travelled the stars but behind every great achievement, behind every move than man has made, there has always been a woman. Valerian and Basic Male Psychology hmm?

Tell me something I don’t know, I like explosions, I like pretty girls, and I wouldn’t mind being brain-dead for a few hours. Okay so I wasn’t exactly expecting Shakespeare but I’m not exactly an idiot either; I have seen plenty of movies where people say you have to read the book to understand… I think this is one of those but the problem is I really don’t want to.

It makes me think about those adult coloring books for children, this movie has plenty of colors and you’ll wake up in a bit wondering where all the time went. “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” reminiscence of any Michael Bay movie just toned downed by yeah a thousand and still, it is visually stunning. Speaking of stunning I’m more a fan of Cara Delevingne/Laureline but it’s Rihanna/Bubble that actually stands out for me in the film though the X-Men’s Mystique might have something to say about it.

If you’ve got time to kill and a bit of cash and you’re too grown up for coloring books, I’ll say it’s worth a watch but not spectacular at all. Now that I have appeased the gods of Fandango let’s get a bit more in depth, which isn’t much of a dig concerning the source material. As I said, I’m all for explosions and random acts of violence but the catalyst of this film is humanity is shooting at somebody and I suppose I have to read the comics to figure out reasons of than people just being people really.

“People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!” Idiocracy

When I wasn’t saying, look at the pretty colors… I should have seen this in 3D, I wasn’t looking at all the mindless cannon fodder and sure, most movies have the peons and the hero escaping death but seriously I was just wondering how. Maybe a quick lesson, bright colors and a futuristic setting in the future, is not a reason to skimp on story.

The movie did start out with the best of attentions, I was actually sort of inspired, honestly today idiots are worshiped and people downplay any actual achievement. How do you keep men’s interest because I do think this movie is focused more on men, so throw in the beautiful women, as I said this was male psychology not that women won’t find this film enjoyable.

This movie can be compared to a lot of other better movies, from “The Fifth Element” design to “Avatar” white man saves blue people, to any number of government corruption movies that are out and about today. Once you get past the futuristic aspect, is there such a thing as too much sci-fi, Valerian is seriously flirting with it and speaking of flirting I think this is one of those reasons women might not like this. Maybe I’m reading too much into it; two hours for a light show but this movie did have a redeeming quality here or there.

Laureline, of course, was a tough young woman and it is a nice change of pace when the woman isn’t just I’m as tough as any man or independent, guys are expected to chase girls but a woman saving the guy. I can’t say enough about Bubble, Rihanna, I wish she had a bigger part, beautiful, sexy, hardcore when the need arose, a bit naïve and is this movie really trying to set itself up for a squeal. If anything Valerian was made more of a background character between the two of them, almost a bad guy considering Laureline did most of the universe saving, Valerian did the girl saving.

Which was another sad point that Valerian and Laureline had almost zero chemistry, sexual attraction but as Laureline summed up, she didn’t just want to be another name for the playlist. When they put Bubble and Laureline together in one scene to “seduce” Valerian that’s where you actually saw any real emotion as in love.

Speaking of love, I think that story was a bit rushed, I mean it was nearly nonexistent and as I was telling a friend, men will do anything if they think they can get at some girl parts, that’s practically how Laureline saved the city of a thousand planets. Three stars easy, but I was expecting so much more, a friend thought it looked like Star Wars, I wouldn’t do Star Wars such a disservice to compare the two really.

Guys will like it for the fighting, a few technical aspects, plenty of cannon fodder, close enough to sex without actual sex and that as soon as you see Clive Owen you know the movie. Women will like it for the feminist aspects, women are geniuses at everything, the girl saves the boy, the girl saves the universe but gets no credit, how about that she’s every woman idea and that men can’t be trusted with anything, even the guy had a girl inside him… long story. I wouldn’t necessarily see it again but I will have it on my Amazon watch list at some point which will be a lot sooner than later possibly.

The first star, of course, is for the attempt and for the noble intentions of humanity, if you liked The Fifth Element then this is quite tolerable. The second star for women in general, the actresses were excellent and I was sort of zoning out before Bubble. Lastly, a star for not giving up, most movies like this rely too heavily on visuals that they expect everyone to forget about the actual plot, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets had one as confusing and yet simplistic as it was and the ending was good just far too rushed.

If I ever see it for half off I might be enticed to go and see it again but this story was more a one night stand but the cast of it was committed, and if I were Valerian… he made the right choice, even if it took a woman to show him; men as a species are doomed. No worries though, as long as there is some woman that a man wants, I believe science will continue to advance and so will date nights to movies like this one.