Lesson 021 ~Funhouse~

Nothing you want to see here unless you like laughing which is the usual response or something plenty worse. Funhouse, I didn’t look to go out so I’m definitely not going in but then again my head is a fun house or madhouse, I can’t decide.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Lesson 021 ~Funhouse~

Hey Lady Lu,
There shouldn’t be any filters, uncensored, raw, but you know the last time I was like that, other than writing, it was a trip to Walmart. Now nine times out of ten I have no faith in mirrors the lesson today is how they’re unnecessary but this trip to the store was eye quite opening.

“That’s you, you’re ugly” I probably sound like some teenage girl but that’s what I said to myself and guess what, I left the dressing room and bought the pants. Haven’t gone clothes shopping since but the fact that that I faced that one moment, could I “Call It Courage”; a good book by the way at least when I was a kid. When I was a kid… there are times I don’t even remember when there was such a time and it explains why my parents never acknowledge my existence to others at all.

You know Quasimodo, the phantom of the opera, the Marquis de Sade, talk about mentors and maybe this explains why I like Halloween, my Topsy-Turvy day. I have worn a mask for so long I forget who I really was beneath it and all that’s left, well just another reason not to look right? The Marquis de Sade was thrown into prison for all sorts of things, yeah I continued that proud tradition in juvenile detention and with my novel, I just refuse to work on, though I have time.

I’ve never been in a funhouse and I don’t ever need to because life is full of mirrors and not one of them reveals anything flattering about me. Not one of them reveals the real me, isn’t that why I have you here, isn’t that what we’re working on daily.

No this isn’t about loving myself but rather being myself but the thing about it is, I wanted to be someone worthy of Ms. Seasons, badass enough to be “Oh K”, the devil to the angel. If anything I need to be okay with myself but again I have no idea who that is, the person I’m reflected as I hate, and most days I feel like I’m going crazy.

“She was nice to me. Gave me something I didn’t even know existed I wasn’t never even able to… buy a woman. Yeah, the way I look” Sin City (2005)

Twenty-one days and I still think about what I said to Ms. Seasons, how she looked at me before and how she must see me now in black and white, not that living color was any better. Only a skeevy type of man though would try what I did and she wasn’t okay with it at all but could I really be that sort of man in the end? As for the good girl I’m taking my time but wondering should I be honest, should I dare, or keep her friendship as just a guy?

I’m still trying to grow up if my bank account has anything to say about it and does money make a man, I know enough about that sort of power. At least I didn’t have to see my “work persona” today, walking Braxton is enough and that brings on a whole new set of worries I’ve brought up before. Along with those is the fact that either I want to be known for my money then it doesn’t matter or I truly am terrified of the man I could be given half the chance because I know this for certain, he isn’t good.

“Have a nice day, girls, and remember, money can make anybody beautiful.” – Too Cute, Daria

When you have died as many times as I have of course you live with the damage, I broke my front tooth sometime back at elementary school, I don’t eat enough or work out to fill out and I don’t drink enough to not care about it. Did I mention I’m shallow as Hell, I seek out goodness to balance out my wickedness and with the way I look, how do I desire a goddess?

“There’s a man Ian never got to know, the man he was growing up to be. He’s a good-looking clear-eyed fella… about 25. I can see him. He’s the type of guy men want to be around, because he has integrity, you know? He has character. You can’t fake that. And he’s a guy women want to be around, too. Because there’s tenderness in him… respect… and loyalty, and courage. And women respond to that. Makes him a terrific husband, this guy. I see him as a father. That’s where he really shines. See, when he looks in his kid’s eyes and that kid knows that his dad really, really sees him… he sees who he is. Then that child knows that he is an amazing person. He’s quite a guy… that I’ll never get to meet. I wish I had.” – Chris Nielsen in What Dreams May Come (1998)

Today though what really got to me was just looking at my dog, he’s been with me since I was 21 or 22, making him around 12 but in his years an angry old man and I blame myself honestly.

Why I’m always freaked out about kids because I have raised Braxton and what is he like, as I said angry, frightens easily, he knows how to put on a show, he’ll growl at the one person that loves him the most, he sleeps a lot, he’s me in a nutshell. I love him more than he’ll ever know and I know there would be a better life for him if he wasn’t as screwed up as he is. How does he think I look at him; I feel like such a negligent parent and yet I trust him more and love him more than anything and just hate that I know I’m not good enough, yeah it’s my fault.

“It’s no surprise to me
I am my own worst enemy
‘Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me” Lit

When I write, even right now talking to you I know I can do better but it will never be enough for me to be satisfied. “Writing is easy. You just open a vein and bleed.” or so they say and as Hemingway put it “All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence you know.” thus my problem surely.

“Hell’s waking up every goddamn day and not even knowing why you’re here.” Sin City (2005)

Am I going to talk about love Luna or maybe the meaning of life; one day I want to look at a woman and see the man I hope to be but in my woman’s eyes I want to see that I’m enough, better, best, that she would choose no other, no she doesn’t love my potential, she loves me. I wrote about Bubble from Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets today and how she could be whatever Valerian wanted, like Mystique, maybe this part of the reason I’m a dominant, for another time Luna I’m still Ned Flanders. Yep, Ned Flanders, I’ve been thinking about why I chose him, seeing as how he married Edna Krabappel I might need another role model.

Anyway, what I have learned today is, start with the man in the mirror which means I might have to kill him again, at least face him down, accept him, though Walmart is already a carnival, I have to go back to see the Funhouse.

Valerian and Basic Male Psychology

Men have fought wars for many different reasons, they have saved lives, they have travelled the stars but behind every great achievement, behind every move than man has made, there has always been a woman. Valerian and Basic Male Psychology hmm?

Tell me something I don’t know, I like explosions, I like pretty girls, and I wouldn’t mind being brain-dead for a few hours. Okay so I wasn’t exactly expecting Shakespeare but I’m not exactly an idiot either; I have seen plenty of movies where people say you have to read the book to understand… I think this is one of those but the problem is I really don’t want to.

It makes me think about those adult coloring books for children, this movie has plenty of colors and you’ll wake up in a bit wondering where all the time went. “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” reminiscence of any Michael Bay movie just toned downed by yeah a thousand and still, it is visually stunning. Speaking of stunning I’m more a fan of Cara Delevingne/Laureline but it’s Rihanna/Bubble that actually stands out for me in the film though the X-Men’s Mystique might have something to say about it.

If you’ve got time to kill and a bit of cash and you’re too grown up for coloring books, I’ll say it’s worth a watch but not spectacular at all. Now that I have appeased the gods of Fandango let’s get a bit more in depth, which isn’t much of a dig concerning the source material. As I said, I’m all for explosions and random acts of violence but the catalyst of this film is humanity is shooting at somebody and I suppose I have to read the comics to figure out reasons of than people just being people really.

“People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!” Idiocracy

When I wasn’t saying, look at the pretty colors… I should have seen this in 3D, I wasn’t looking at all the mindless cannon fodder and sure, most movies have the peons and the hero escaping death but seriously I was just wondering how. Maybe a quick lesson, bright colors and a futuristic setting in the future, is not a reason to skimp on story.

The movie did start out with the best of attentions, I was actually sort of inspired, honestly today idiots are worshiped and people downplay any actual achievement. How do you keep men’s interest because I do think this movie is focused more on men, so throw in the beautiful women, as I said this was male psychology not that women won’t find this film enjoyable.

This movie can be compared to a lot of other better movies, from “The Fifth Element” design to “Avatar” white man saves blue people, to any number of government corruption movies that are out and about today. Once you get past the futuristic aspect, is there such a thing as too much sci-fi, Valerian is seriously flirting with it and speaking of flirting I think this is one of those reasons women might not like this. Maybe I’m reading too much into it; two hours for a light show but this movie did have a redeeming quality here or there.

Laureline, of course, was a tough young woman and it is a nice change of pace when the woman isn’t just I’m as tough as any man or independent, guys are expected to chase girls but a woman saving the guy. I can’t say enough about Bubble, Rihanna, I wish she had a bigger part, beautiful, sexy, hardcore when the need arose, a bit naïve and is this movie really trying to set itself up for a squeal. If anything Valerian was made more of a background character between the two of them, almost a bad guy considering Laureline did most of the universe saving, Valerian did the girl saving.

Which was another sad point that Valerian and Laureline had almost zero chemistry, sexual attraction but as Laureline summed up, she didn’t just want to be another name for the playlist. When they put Bubble and Laureline together in one scene to “seduce” Valerian that’s where you actually saw any real emotion as in love.

Speaking of love, I think that story was a bit rushed, I mean it was nearly nonexistent and as I was telling a friend, men will do anything if they think they can get at some girl parts, that’s practically how Laureline saved the city of a thousand planets. Three stars easy, but I was expecting so much more, a friend thought it looked like Star Wars, I wouldn’t do Star Wars such a disservice to compare the two really.

Guys will like it for the fighting, a few technical aspects, plenty of cannon fodder, close enough to sex without actual sex and that as soon as you see Clive Owen you know the movie. Women will like it for the feminist aspects, women are geniuses at everything, the girl saves the boy, the girl saves the universe but gets no credit, how about that she’s every woman idea and that men can’t be trusted with anything, even the guy had a girl inside him… long story. I wouldn’t necessarily see it again but I will have it on my Amazon watch list at some point which will be a lot sooner than later possibly.

The first star, of course, is for the attempt and for the noble intentions of humanity, if you liked The Fifth Element then this is quite tolerable. The second star for women in general, the actresses were excellent and I was sort of zoning out before Bubble. Lastly, a star for not giving up, most movies like this rely too heavily on visuals that they expect everyone to forget about the actual plot, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets had one as confusing and yet simplistic as it was and the ending was good just far too rushed.

If I ever see it for half off I might be enticed to go and see it again but this story was more a one night stand but the cast of it was committed, and if I were Valerian… he made the right choice, even if it took a woman to show him; men as a species are doomed. No worries though, as long as there is some woman that a man wants, I believe science will continue to advance and so will date nights to movies like this one.