Gospel 031 ~I’m One Will Away~

Another week has come to pass, and I’m still not going to bed at a decent hour. I know the way, but I don’t have the will to work and hell wasn’t I doing the Day Job this week and 5000 words the last one. I’m One Will Away, from going crazy

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Gospel 031 ~I’m One Will Away~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but do I have the will to stay there? Lady Lu, there’s what you have to do, what you could do, and what you want to do. As the saying goes, you know, will meet the way and all. My motivations ask, what do you want?

I have no passion for the Day Job, but I find the will to get out of bed and go. Tonight I’ll say, has been pretty decent and then my “father” called. Do I call it will or fear the reason I answered it? All the money I need to be saving and yet here I go again staying out longer. People talk about being an adult is all about making these choices. You do what must get done. Again my motivations say, if you do what’s easy, life is hard. If you do what’s hard, life will be easy. So that demands the question, what am I complaining about. Yeah, I hate the Day Job, but when I know where I stand with it… With my “father” hell, that’s accepting the worst-case scenario. For the record, he called me about “Quidditch” duh. I take it he wanted to humiliate me. Of course, staying out to go to McDonald’s is no damn good at all.

Now, what could I be doing tonight other than waiting for this new girl to break me? I could have been finishing Colleen Hoover’s book. What about emptying out my exploding email? I could try getting to bed at a decent hour, which already isn’t happening. No, I spent most of today sleeping, and if not, that I’ve been hard. I could have walked My Dæmon. I swear the boy is being quite the little trooper. Next week will be easy, but do I have the will to do what is hard dear Lady Lu.

You know what I want to do. I want to write books full time. One day I want to own a cathouse. I want women begging me to see them naked. One more reason tonight has been “excellent.” Still, I want my hands on my keyboard and not in my pants. I’ll even settle on my zombies, finally coming to fruition. For this to happen, all these wills have to go. The Settler, Mr. I Don’t Feel Like It, the Wisher. I’m One Will Away.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 292 ~William And Mr. Saku~

I told my father that I have a few different personalities, none of them would ever benefit him ever, a common enemy and all, so it is with my characters, a plethora of pornographic passions or people I hope I never see again. William And Mr. Saku

Friday, April 19, 2019

Episode 292 ~William And Mr. Saku~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now. A Chinese feast and I’m adding this to the list. An orgy with a plethora of Asian girls; relax. My story is getting pretty bad with my sexual fantasies, enough so that I needed to class it up somewhere. I mean “William?” You would think I have all the motivation I would ever need. I didn’t let the Day Job take this off day, so I should have done five thousand words. Only I was up in more ways than one.

Wake up at 4 AM try going to bed then. I was fighting between three stories, one being Hot Juicy Teacher a.k.a. Onna Kyoushi from last night. What can I say I’m a sucker for a good story? Okay, a blue/purple haired girl with amazing breasts. I am ashamed of that picture though. I usually don’t post things like that, not anymore but hell I made two gifs of Honoka Toudou so far, and I want to make more. Beautiful women bring out my inner artist. How many images did I cut from the MILF and her breasts? Of course, there’s the other MILF and a file of the Cosplayer. Worse though is the wrath of a writer you know. To this day Lady Sophia, do you remember why I got back to writing, just another girl? I made her the main villain in one of the novels. Another is witch jealous of her daughter. There is one more, an emo blogger, mother, and journalist.

Now you will have to excuse me, but I’m going to have to get a bit of work done. At the very least get to bed at a decent hour tonight. The first thing, organizing the five main characters that I have narrating the tale.

For Title In Progress:
0000 Will 12500 Will 25000 Will
2500 Alison 15000 Ember 27500 Wilcox
5000 Wilcox 17500 Wilcox 30000 Alison
7500 Ember 20000 Alison
10000 Genevieve 22500 Ember

First, off I see I miscounted this morning, counting my chickens before they hatch as it were. The power of “The Secret,” treating everything I want as though I possess it. Still like Forrest Gump said since I’ve come this far what about the chapters?

20000 Alison “Closed, Clothed, And We’re Coming”
22500 Ember “Break Her And Bought It”
25000 Will “Who Is The Perverted Proprietor”
27500 Wilcox “Bedtime Damsel Without Her Dress
30000 Alison “Sale On Sluts He’s Mine

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 117 ~Scared, Will You Say~

I’m not your boss, I’m not your boss, not anymore if ever, in the bedroom I have far more control, but in life, well there’s fear and don’t I talk about it often enough, and being so close to Halloween not that it matters. “Scared, Will You Say”

Friday, October 26, 2018

Episode 117 ~Scared, Will You Say~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, to tell you the truth a million doesn’t make you a BOSS; it does put you in a good position compared to most Americans though, like something sounding like “Fiddler On The Roof,” If I Were A Rich Man. I don’t mean to sound so political, I mean, what do I know right, that’s what I was saying at work, that I’m nobody’s boss, but a couple of people were looking to me for what… leadership, last time that happened I met DUMB, DUMBER, and DUMBEST.

“And it won’t make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong.
When you’re rich, they think you really know!” – If I Were A Rich Man, Topol

I’m never scared to write about my more “DOMINANT” persona when it comes to the bedroom; as I was telling a friend, being in charge is a lot different when you can tie a person up and do all manner of “unspeakable” things. Even in my own stories sadly I show caution and then I still idolize someone like Le Marquis De Sade but he did go to jail and even he backtracked when it came to his novels. That’s going to be a reason for writing if I ever hear one, yeah I write because you have to think at least a second longer before letting anything burst out of your face I believe.

How about me singing, I won’t lie Ha, Ha anyway I’ve been thinking about that R. Kelly song I Wish, and I’m going to get the lyrics wrong, but I like those lines that go:

“And all I ever wanted is to be a better man
And I try to keep it real with my homies man
Want me to save the world I don’t understand
How did I become the leader of a billion men?”
R. Kelly, I Wish

The second reason I’m writing is, I believe there are other people out there like me, hell there are people a million times worse, and maybe this is my idea on “trying” to find them, but honestly, that scares me. How about this Lady Sophia, I was talking to “Okay” about The Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning and when I write it’s like I’m creating the “Sinsar Dubh” my dark magic attempting to get it out of me which should scare everyone, rape, murder, apocalypse and so much worse.

Better to keep it fiction right before I go off writing some BDSM contract, comparing a girl to a Brazzers or Reality Kings model, and don’t get me started on the words, more like the numbers on money, I once offered a woman three hundred for, yeah, more an Inspector Echo conversation. Good thing NaNoWriMo is coming up but how did I spend most of this day besides not reading the word “manager” under my name. I slept because I was afraid to write today, figured I’d sound like something out of “The Vault Girls,” “Virgin Roster” or my story “Love The Way You Run,” I put those two MILFS and that English Tart in it. I swear the things men come up with, my face is the horror, but my mind is apocalyptic; where is the terror, the man that is no longer writing of love and happiness perhaps *sigh* Scared, Will You Say.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 005 ~Leave It To Printer~

Every day the writing gets worse, either on my screen, on my face, on my sleeve, wherever as they say to write all you need to do is bleed and considering the pain these past few days. “Leave It To The Printer”

Friday, July 6, 2018

Episode 005 ~Leave It To Printer~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason to write it, one reason not to; aren’t I always asking for reasons to be a writer, in middle school other than that story about turkeys I had my head buried in a book, nowadays it’s earphones. I also say I can never speak my mind; I’m always laughing, smiling, making some random noise because everybody has a story and I don’t want to read it or maybe I’m illiterate when it comes to people even in writing.

Of course, the killers in my latest novels are reflections of myself but why is it that everyone in my life can either, see my humiliation and my fear, and they speak it so the whole damn world can hear. Two, they think they have the right to write out my story, my destiny in their fairytales like The Adjustment Bureau and since there is no chairperson to be had? Three they don’t want the story to end, no more like I’m a joke but once you have the punchline there is no more fun, and that leaves me here broken, and if anything, I should be working on my story and not contemplating contacting HR again, for hurt feelings.

Excuse me Lady Sophia for repeating past mistakes; I do take responsibility I do put myself out there and let my critics eat me alive in case you were wondering why I’m so into the undead, in horror; killers for the most part work alone, but I face an army. I already said before I write these stories about how I think people should be then I live and I’m wrong on all counts and so what I write becomes well… “STUPID” and even now I can’t tell you the whole story. No, I leave that to my fiction, and nobody sees that either, but I was listening to motivational speakers all morning, and I don’t fear failure, I dread returning to my day job every day and being everything they want me to be.

If anything shouldn’t that be enough to give the printer whatever remains of me, hell shouldn’t I buy a new printer anyway, as always I need to take my writing more seriously instead of worrying about the blog amongst other things. Paper makes plenty of noise Lady Sophia, and with plenty of green, I still don’t know how to look at people or what will be their next fairytale, but all I am, my next novel Leave It To Printer.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 363 ~I Hate This Part~

A few hours to kill, not to mention some characters, a blank screen, okay so write, only I wish that it would work that way and even then I wouldn’t be able to edit to save my life I bet. I Hate This Part.

Friday, June 29, 2018

Lesson 363 ~I Hate This Part~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Can You Love Me Again, that’s only one of the parts I hate, the waiting, craving, and even with all that not saying things right or wasting more time for mediocre work which I would never know because of editing… I saw last night that I am ill prepared for another stint of NaNoWriMo and then again I’m going to give it a real “can do”; isn’t that another thing hating a word like try, “interesting,” and stupid, still irked by that.

“Yes, no, maybe
I don’t know
Can you repeat the question?”
― Boss Of Me

What about “miracle” that’s a word that isn’t going to happen for me, no I take that back, if anything people have only been spelling the word wrong, you want a miracle, no Lady Sophia you want to work. Regret is another nasty word because that’s something else I’ve been feeling, I’ve had a whole year, and what do I have to show for it, a blog, two books maybe three if you count the poetry hell perhaps even four if you count every blog post. So which is harder, waiting for PCH and yes I’m ashamed to admit I checked them out today, they aren’t coming here, what about waiting for inspiration which I’ve been thinking about, or I could be looking up how you know you’ve got bit by something, me, the dog?

How many words is that (Stupid, Try, Miracle, Work, Regret, Shame, Waiting) seven deadly sins but there is also the capacity for good as in Work, and that’s what I should be doing, what I need to do versus what I want? I don’t think it’s God that gives us the strength if I need more imaginary friends there are so many characters dying for me to let them come out and play. Maybe that’s one of the most hateful parts Lady Sophia, that you have to live to feel all of this and if you’re living, I think you have a responsibility, god how I hate people sometimes but if you’re going to take up air and space, you need to do something right.

Procrastination is the part I hate the most though, living like this, feeling like this and yes I am blessed, I am grateful, but that doesn’t make the pain go away, even being at the finish line because now what is the question. Writing has always been the answer, but I long for the day my hands find enjoyment in other things but for now one day I love this, another I hate it, and now I Hate This Part.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 356 ~Words You Can Bank~

You can’t get rid of words, while money is another story there are always more words to say and for me always more words to write even with my anniversary coming up, a whole year of things I shouldn’t speak, how about The End? Words You Can Bank

Friday, June 22, 2018

Lesson 356 ~Words You Can Bank~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Can You Love Me Again, how about next year, maybe in July, hell how about “tomorrow,” another one of my favorite words going with “someday” and “discombobulated,” they aren’t getting me anywhere, but they feel great to say? Well more to the point write and in a week I will have been doing it for a year, talk about passion, desire, stupidity and everything else, and I wonder why I write as always, but words make me feel good, why writing’s HARD.

For example “Okay” doesn’t like nasty names and at the same time words like, beautiful or sexy get me nowhere, but it all starts with knowing their name and wasn’t the point of all this for people to know my name? “Block and Report” are two more of my favorites, or maybe I have gullible written on my forehead, but then I wouldn’t have to do so much for my protection. Now that might be something will talk about next week, why I got into this blog but that’s more words that make me feel bad, but the one I have been attempting to take back is my name, so yes my name is Will.

Writing that complaint against Church’s Chicken today while a waste of time was pretty good, Subway threw in a couple of sandwiches and how I hate looking at receipts nowadays. How about the feeling I’ll get if I ever see my name in something published, I found some of my old books, and there was a bit of pride, like seeing your name on a paycheck before you realize how many bills you have to pay. I think one thing that has been consistent these months is I Will Have No Fear; it’s not helping.

The dog’s barks do more for me to be honest and while annoying as Hell, it means, he’s still alive, and he’s keeping me alive but my problem is so many people waste air on words, and there is one more reason I’m a writer. Don’t you remember what it felt like when people use to text, the same with email most days it’s only more words, and I want my words to mean something?

The more words I write or I should say published will give me more time to think of sequels, but for now, the best words in all of writing history that bring me joy and make me feel the best about my writing are The End, Words You Can Bank.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 349 ~There Are Better Stories~

Everybody has a story but how many stories are people telling, how many of those stories are being believed, how many of those stories are living and breathing, though to live one of my stories; I know I’ll do better. “There Are Better Stories.”

Friday, June 15, 2018

Lesson 349 ~There Are Better Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Can You Love Me Again, once I tell you that I can write better stories, I believe I can, I know I can and excuse me if I sound like “Mr. Motivation” here, but there is always another way to hear stories of another’s success. You heard me right Lady Sophia, stories, not that I’m getting into audiobooks, remember “The Scarlet Letter” if you could stay awake for that one you passed the test but never again.

“Sleep is the new broke.” ― Eric Thomas, on sleep

You know how I feel about sleep, every night I tell myself stories to help me sleep, I don’t remember being the little kid with a teddy bear and a parent to regale me with fairytales while I lie in bed. Is that why it’s taken me so long to get out of bed because I’m always waiting and a part of me thinks I need to give people something to read, but not my parents, and don’t think I’m becoming bitter again, remember when I first joined up with TIBU? It would be easy to become upset with “Indiana Gone,” “Okay,” Cherry,” “M Anime” but the bitch, of course, made me feel “sorry” about my words, hell I don’t share my favorite book with anybody because I need it.

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” ― Tony Montana Scarface (1983)

Now I could tell you I want to write to make money, whatever that sounds like to you but another reason I need to write is so I can sleep, I have more than enough stories to put me to bed, I want a story to keep me awake. Last fiction I read… okay watched like that was “Detroit: Become Human.” Am I ever going to let that go,? One day maybe but it’s not my favorite. There are better, any story that’s not in my head for starters. Stories that I see on my laptop screen, better are stories I see on print, stories that I see in green, that only require my signature, or I take to bed because everybody has a tale.

Mine come harder because as they say a picture is worth a thousand words and yes I continue to hate that concept but to get to that point I have to write the words for now and then I can sleep. How’s that for motivation, I’ve been listening to so many speeches and these men work so they can live a life they dream about honestly maybe that should be me too, but I would do damn near anything for some time to sleep peacefully.

The strange thing about this is my stories don’t put me to sleep, not while I’m writing them at least. Still, There Are Better Stories.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 283 ~Ok, I’m Up Now~

Which is more exhausting, writing a love story or trying to live one and doing both, I’m going to start having to write a bunch of reasons just to get out of bed, to be honest. “Ok, I’m Up Now” the question is what to do

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Lesson 283 ~Ok, I’m Up Now~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today, not that it matters to my dog and any fur babies you bring along and a man needs all the love he can get these days, the best part of waking up I believe. You know I’m not a big coffee drinker, so I will take eight hours when I can get them; though being a husband and a father might mean having to make do with much less, again just how the world works right now.

The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach rings right, and I do like bacon, just ask my parents, then again don’t that’s just something that tires me out but the food is good, bacon, pancakes, hash browns. Since my eyes will already lie shut, maybe a kiss or two would perk me up, a reason to look up as I’m usually asleep on my belly if I know I don’t have anything to do in the morning but just my luck… As the song goes love lift us up where we belong, have you been playing with my playlist; nothing gets me in the workday spirit as much as Easy Street.

What about when the work day’s through, maybe that’s why I spend so much time writing now so my other books will be few and far between; with all due respect to Skye Warren, I just can’t produce novels that fast. You might have to wake me up to write though, and that will be far easier when I get to quit the day job at some point, talk about motivation to get up. Love, you are plenty but how am I supposed to get anything done, if I was a sculptor, well then again I’ll find some other way to love you, my angel.

Though there is something to be kept about the classics; the two-legged children or six if we count all three of them, speaking of things to produce fast, because if I can tell when my dog is crying at two in the morning… If I know I can see your smile; that I can feel how you “Love Me Like You Do,” and everything that might require more than words. Who would need an alarm clock to wake-up any day?

As for this moment, I only want to cuddle with you and watch wrestling though it gets a bit boring at; Ok, I’m Up Now.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 111 ~Will’s Write of Way~

Why aren’t you writing, well what do I call this, like today walking around my job trying to drown myself at the water fountain because I was in pain, I suppose people look at my writing in much the same way. Will’s Write of Way, just the facts.

Friday, October 20, 2017

Lesson 111 ~Will’s Write of Way~

Hey Lady Sophia
No Fear, at least not anymore, still I wonder what scares me more the truth or the fiction, it has definitely been the truth that has been wearing me out honestly when it comes to my own writing. I heard somewhere if you have a choice between the truth and the legend, then always print the legend but still reality and today.

“Indiana Gone” might kick my ass for not working on my own novel… again but I can write excuses like nobody’s business so what shall it be today? I honestly put in a solid eight hours, what’s to be said for any man that does that, isn’t that just the way of the world? My writing technically is only supposed to take seven but that doesn’t pay well, or even at all not to mention all the spam lately, which brings up another point, what about my blog lately *sigh*.

Having to wake up at two in the morning isn’t helping the cause but you want the truth, how about this, why wake up at two for a job I hate and yet lie on my ass until who knows when for something I actually enjoy doing, somedays at least. That also brings up why I’m not reading today either, did I mention eight hours and then having to do this bout of honesty, if anything at least I have been keeping my word to write every day even if it’s crap. Don’t get me started but I’m looking at that candy bar I had for breakfast; what I always have one at work but that will be another rule at some point, food plus my anxiety equals no fun.

Then there’s my wannabe, Casanova antics, okay maybe I shouldn’t go that far but I haven’t been this busy with women since the days of America Online, may it R.I.P. now a day doesn’t go by when I’m not busy not getting busy, did I just show my age? Last but not least all this new hacking this and gotta be careful that, sometimes I wish I could go back to before the internet and writing god knows how many pages of a novel involving turkeys overtaking the whole world.

If anything at least I’m writing, not a lesson but always a statement of fact because of my creativity… truth is Will’s Write of Way.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 104 ~Infinite Lives, Cheat Codes~

Do I really want to “cheat” with writing, if anything it is the truest sing I know, even if what I write is fiction, at least to a certain degree no doubt? “Infinite Lives, Cheat Codes” when I should be writing something more substantial, maybe?

Friday, October 13, 2017

Lesson 104 ~Infinite Lives, Cheat Codes~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, though this is a video game reference, infinite lives, and cheat codes, I haven’t picked up a controller in months though, years possibly. I’m a sucker for a good story though which is what brings us here, with the term good loosely defined of course.

I swear one day, not someday I’m going to write down every single reason I want to be a writer, but wouldn’t it be better spent writing out my story. Shouldn’t I be working on my novella, “Degrees of Falling” that, of course, is a working title, I’ve also so considered’ “Hot Air” and why did I start working on this story again? Maybe I’m getting all warmed up for NaNoWriMo, do you think I’m honestly going to go for it this year Lady Sophia?

Too bad I can’t write excuses for a living, the latest being my hands are exhausted, seriously they are so sore, and I wish I could at least tell you I punched someone in the face or that I have been doing something productive, other than making money, do I even have a rule about making money. Isn’t that the point of all this, is I was writing to make money then I suppose it wouldn’t be worth it, not to mention what sort of man would that make me; perhaps an educated one if I were reading at least. What about if I ever get famous, I’m going to have to be signing books, so would I complain about my hands then, that’s funny.

Unlike my novella, no wait that can be awfully funny too that I think I’ll ever get anywhere with it, yeah I’m talking to you because I need to talk about my work but I still don’t have to be positive about it, do I? That’s yet another reason that I want to be a writer because maybe I got it all wrong you know, I speak about immortality but maybe you build a life, you lose it, and repeat.

It certainly would explain how weak I get after each go-round or maybe I’m just channeling “Happy Death Day” another review I should be writing but I’m barely keeping up here. Should the question here be, what have I written today, besides talking to you, *sigh* there is always tomorrow indeed, Infinite Lives, Cheat Codes.

I Will Have No Fear