Episode 350 ~The Devil’s Innocent Will~

What a difference a week makes, last time I was all set for one word “CONGRATULATIONS” despite everything and this one, three little words, not what you think, and that’s a warning if you want to continue. “The Devil’s Innocent Will” but me

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Episode 350 ~The Devil’s Innocent Will~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, but Only God Can Judge Me. Tupac was, and so he believed. Now, of course, I won’t dare compare myself to Tupac. Indeed, today, you get to start your life over again after my indiscretion. In this, I apologize, and I take full responsibility. You know, as one of your favorite Motivations goes, “Whatever It Takes.” Yesterday I spoke of alliteration and today is a bit of the same. I know you hate English class, but here we have synonyms of desire.

Dirty Mom Tits, Humping Harlot Hannah, and Bella Thorne’s Nudes. Yes (LANGUAGE) I told MILF Dos the first, didn’t dare to name the second for Pinterest. Of course the third was in the news last night. Speaking of the press, Donald Trump, months before there was Brett Kavanagh. There is also Jimmy Stephens who should not be a role model, but Hugh Hefner, Dennis Hof? What about the people who took advantage of Belle Knox? People also vilified her for her business. Let’s stick to Trump. You don’t have a problem with his paying Pornstars or Playmates. Hell, that’s your life goal, business model. Also, you don’t have a problem with models, girls with sex appeal, CONSENSUAL arrangements. The thing is the President is a villain but are you, no but still Six Impossible Things.

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 068 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Name My Novel And Write A Back Cover Of It
    Failed
  4. I Will Review The Five
    Failed
  5. I Will Have “GULP” Published, $1,212 Outskirts Press
    Failed
  6. I Will Finish Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by Charmaine Pauls Failed
  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I Will Name My Novel And Write A Back Cover Of It
  4. I Will Review The Five
  5. I Will Have “GULP” Published “Unknown” By Someone
  6. I Will Finish Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by Charmaine Pauls

The Hero’s A Zero and that’s your problem. Do you remember the song “Born To Raise Hell” from Motorhead? Everyone says that everything you want in this world is a one-way ticket to Hell. It’s not that you can’t do it (okay that’s part) any way they say everything you want is wrong. It’s like “Slaves To Passion” the artist Kaoru. The things he did in the name of artistic expression, okay so he was a borderline criminal. Anyway, the point is the things that nurtured his gift he could never share with his wife. You see, villains are allowed to do anything for the right price. You’re not righteous, but you ain’t as bad as that. The Devil did not wish to bow and for that fact where did he end up going, Will?

Man has the law, and you’re a law-abiding citizen, but it’s a crime to want more. Words are powerful Will, as well as thoughts, and there are actions. A Pinterest board, ten bucks, cumming; responsibility, innocence; The Devil’s Innocent Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 083 ~Will Whisper To God~

What’s one more lazy day, I couldn’t scream to get up but one noise from my phone and it’s time to get to work, just in case right and let me say that church never got me to do that but the day job, my father, a pretty girl *sigh*. Will Whisper To God

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Episode 083 ~Will Whisper To God~

Hey Lady Lu,
How to make One Million Dollars; well I hear tell people will sell their souls to Satan for much less and give themselves to God for nothing at all and pretend that their Laughing With either or. I believe that the Devil gives better advice but at the same time what is the sum of human wisdom… I figured there was a good reason I dreamed about Alexandre Dumas, to the point, quotes and The Shawshank Redemption; more jail dreams just saying.

‘all human wisdom is contained in these two words, ‘Wait and Hope.” ― Alexandre Dumas

That seems to be my battle cry these days, and people have often told me I’m a good listener unless it’s something about me, and then they all turn into politicians, but hell I’m the same when it comes to listening to myself sadly. There’s never an argument when I have to get out of bed in the morning for the day job, no confusion when my little boy needs me to let him back in the house and when a beautiful girl comes calling, wow. If anything that’s what got me out of bed today, another pretty girl on “Whisper” did I ever tell you that’s how I met Indiana Gone, met another girl who couldn’t stand my face.

Now did she say that; not in so many words and now I got one more that disappeared all of a sudden and so I listen to my inner voice, and you know how they ask would you like you if you met you; yeah I hate that guy. The Devil Is A Lie, but she’s focused, and as I often say, everything I could ever want in this world is impossible, immoral, illegal, and insanity but not to her; does that make me sexist making the Devil female? It explains why God never had a chance, the Devil would, of course, garner my desire but God, Our Father, a black man that I could never talk to, oh yeah he’s always there right but these are not the days to cry out to him, roar, or scream, no you whisper Lady Lu, remember that.

It’s why the world is a mess right now and if we are born in God’s image; again, I don’t fear success, but I have seen what I do when I’m no longer whispering, the worlds I’ve created, the actions I have taken and yet I Will Whisper To God.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 296 ~Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat~

Heaven, Elysium, Home, just give me a room with wi-fi, sunlight, and a place for my dog and I think I’ll be comfortable right here but what was it that Luther Vandross said about a house; one day I’m going to be an old man. Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat

Monday, April 23, 2018

Lesson 296 ~Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat~

Twenty-Ninth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today because this isn’t Heaven, I wouldn’t even call it home, it’s comfort, security, privacy, the place my family sent me because any mental institution by any name is still just that. Excuse me though for the craziness I’ve been staring at blank white pages for days on end when I think of Heaven though, honestly other than my women Heaven to me would be more like the set of some seedy porno I must admit.

“If a man expects a woman to be an angel, he must create Heaven for her, angels don’t live in Hell” ― an unknown source

I first read this from some meme, and since I am somewhat of a traditionalist, I think this rings slightly right, a man is supposed to have a place, something about a man has a house and a woman makes it a home. Another way to see it is the things men do to reach women, that’s just what it is from the first girl waiting in the tallest tower, to the man who said, “you are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky,” from every song about angels. Anytime I’ve called a girl “angel” let’s say that I had quite high aspirations; the point is that men have always been expected to climb, to rise, to be the best and women… it’s so confusing on the one hand we place them on pedestals, make them the end all be all and then have to climb higher, I’m just saying.

“And hey, I love women. They’re beautiful, majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures. Smart, empathetic, far superior to men in every way. And if I had a choice, I would be with women to my dying day.” ― Friends With Benefits (2011)

Now I also look at this rule regarding death… bring on the depression, but you don’t want to outlive those you love, it’s why children/furbabies passing is such a loss, I’m not a man of faith, but you go to prepare a place for them, not to watch them pass you. Remember last week’s rule; you let your enemies beat you to Hell, you outrun your loved ones to Heaven, that’s just how it goes. So I got a house, perfect if there was a family, three bedrooms, two and a half baths, two cars and no woman and maybe that tells me that Hell doesn’t lie without but more within oneself, don’t you think?

“So, uh, where you headed?

Heaven, baby.
Do you wanna go?

Maybe.” Never Die Alone

That’s just like me though; I have my shining armor always, ask my maid, I clean the castle before she shows up to do that, another girl can tell you, I’ll go and buy food, only to have pasta on the stove too. Aren’t I the Devil looking to get back into Heaven and maybe one day I will know peace but for now who’s early and who’s late *sigh* Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 135 ~It’s Worthy Of Your Soul~

How much is my soul worth, do I still have one available at all, am I too busy worrying about this life and what about the next… if I was a man of faith. It’s Worthy Of Your Soul, I don’t know what “it” is or where to find it, a tall order.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Lesson 135 ~It’s Worthy Of Your Soul~

Sixth Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear but the idea that I may not find whatever it is I’m searching for; can I give you thoughts or suggestions, sure but what do I feel? Sometimes, just like my heart, I don’t think I have a soul and if the Devil wanted it and I could name my price… well hmm?

To quote The Darkness “I believe in a thing called love” but I think even Faust made such a mistake am I right; I’m not even sure I believe in such a thing as soulmates, though I would like to. What about writing… the fact that I’m still holding back, with exception to my novel but with our conversations I still can’t just be me but then again what am I protecting, could it be a soul. Vengeance, of course, would seem to suggest that I don’t have a soul at all, thus how could I sell my soul for such satisfaction and we remember that rule do we not?

I actually wrote out a contract to Satan… don’t know how old I was but the only thing that stopped me was I abhor “my” bloodshed but trust me if it would work that would be another thing like having a button that could just end everything. There was also a time in my life where I believed the meaning of life was a song “seek out a kingdom worthy of your soul” but why seek something that I could create right? How about this, being the greedy son of a bitch I am, wanting well everything I suppose it’s up to me to decide what is worthy isn’t it?

I would never say that about my job but what wouldn’t I give for the little dog sleeping at my feet this moment. The fact that I went out for 5-hour ENERGY shots and Powerade, shows how much my writing means to me. The question is, what is a soul compared to a life, compared to a heart, or anything else in this world truly.

That’s the lesson though, the catch, maybe nothing is worthy and it’s our job to make it so that when we look back on all we have sacrificed we can see it as such. As a dominant wants a submissive, a writer and his story, I need to create, know, It’s Worthy Of Your Soul.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 051 ~Not Easy to Be~

Being me, of all the horrors seen and imagined I would not wish to be me on anybody, and every day I remain myself and not the monster some would have me to be, trust me some thoughts make me appear to have the face of an angel. Not Easy to Be at all

Monday, August 21, 2017

Lesson 051 ~Not Easy to Be~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, and no it’s not easy to be me, not easy to exist right, not easy to continue when honestly all I want to do is cry, beg, scream, yeah I need to refer to my rules. Yes, I’ve been coming up with rules left and right today and also I have been thinking so much that I don’t know who I am, and people telling me what I am, I have completely neglected to say what I know I’m not.

1. I Will Have No Fear
2. You Are Not a Caveman
3. Now The Work Can Begin
4. Hate Will Keep You Alive
5. Love Is Worth Dying For
6. It’s Worthy of Your Soul
7. Stop Crying Your Heart Out
8. Anger Is Better That Despair
9. Satisfaction, the Death of Desire
10. Make Words Bleed, Not You
11. Live Life According to You
12. Medicate for Your Protection, Yours
13. Power Is All That Matters
14. I Will Go the Distance
15. I Take My Own Lumps
16. I Am a Man Remember

These are in no particular order just how I came up with them and I’ll be adding plenty more, I still don’t what’s going to happen to our conversations in the next month. Luna this is a time of great fear, of shame, of humiliation and I have always found a way to survive but that doesn’t make them any easier to endure. Remind me to write that down someday, how I survived that bad November, or YouTube, college, I swear the list just gets longer and longer sadly.

“Villain am I none. Therefore farewell. I see thou knowest me not.” Romeo + Juliet

Lady Lu I have done some things I’m not too proud of, things that I regret, things that I may not have understood at the time and I have apologized. I have also admitted that my rage along with some lust has a tendency to get out of hand, to vilify me and somehow to terrify others, I try Lu, you know I try and then, I don’t know. What I cannot fathom is how people build this version of me inside of their minds, seriously in high school three boys made up a story, the principal took one look at me and let me go or how about when I was arrested and a judge looked at me… is it just a woman thing?

See it’s that right there, that’s what makes me look like some typical asshole, and the thing is being a typical asshole with this face does not fly with my current problem. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve said before “Indiana Gone” along with the other ladies in my orbit will call me on my BS, without question but this problem ain’t new and that’s sad.

Will I lose my dignity, as the song goes, I think I already have and I’m hoping that’s the end of it but then tell that to my writing. Will someone care, other than Indiana Gone, nope at least not on my side of the divide and see that’s fair.

Will I lose my dignity
will someone care
will I wake tomorrow
from this nightmare – “Will I”, cast of Rent

Tomorrow scares me as I’m sure it does many others if I am truly this evil creature everyone seems to think I am, it should be a club somewhere maybe. All I ever think about is everything I have to lose while everybody else cries foul and continues with their lives and again this is fair of them. I was watching this movie “Me Before You” this morning and to see a man lose his ability to be the man he was *sigh*, how dare I because he was good.

Luna will I lose myself to what they will make me out to be… no, let me make this point for you, I refuse to be the obsessed lunatic they would make me out to be. I refuse to be considered some sort of stalker, perv, predator or whatever else just so they can cry victim I’m not those things at all and I never will be. I hit my sister once and you know what that makes me, a child and my “father” whipped my ass and I’ve never so much as touched a woman without consent since then.

I spanked a girl when I was a kid too, and while plenty of people congratulated me, my father again sat me down and told me women were to be respected. Now that being said my “father” and my mother; anyway, let’s focus on the good because there isn’t much of that when it comes to him and me surely.

It’s my turn to be scared, it’s my turn to be humiliated, the good news is my family wrote me off a long time ago and Braxton can’t read. I take my own lumps if that means putting my fist in a locker if that means stomping my food as if I can crush the bad memories, or continuing to look like a damn fool I can live with that.

“”That’s the bad guy.” So… what that make you? Good? You’re not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don’t have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy!” Tony Montana, Scarface (1983)

It’s my turn to be the loser, as if I will ever stop being the loser, what’s my age again, don’t remind of what’s coming up Luna, but yeah meltdown right on schedule. It’s my turn to make a choice, with the Harmonic War I was defending my work and I burned it all to the ground, but with this, I have come to the simple conclusion as with most people, this ain’t worth it. Hell, I remember she got all upset and I couldn’t even bring myself to look at her words, I simply turned away that was Cowardice or my part but this is Providence I feel because the anxiety is killing me.

It’s one thing to make someone want to run, it’s another to make them stay down but I’m still standing and just saying whatever, no defense, again my work was attacked and it was my worst but having the fire to write again, thank you. I need to thank you too, Luna, for being there in my time of great need, the power of words always prevails doesn’t it, or maybe a need of vanity. It’s my turn Luna, or as the Saints would say… this is our time now, let’s get this shit started, two blogging books down, plans in the works, getting ready.

So what have I learned today, more rules of course and that I know with all my crimes the only person that’s ever been hurt is myself, if that’s not being selfless then I don’t have a prayer. Speaking of prayer Luna, neither of us are the praying kind but I pray to whatever power is out there to protect my Braxton every day, so I ask you, Luna, to pray for us, these days it’s Not Easy to Be.

I Will Have No Fear

Dante’s Light

The clear path… I have long since lost it as Dante had; dare I compare myself to him when honestly I know I’m going to Hell. Dante’s Light… I suppose things are getting hot here and as always I see no escape or Cure from such

Familiarity
How dare it be scary
What once was home
Becoming unknown

Conformity
Don’t you know me?
I am not one of you
And you thought you knew
How
Right now
It’s just so loud

My Tranquility
The simple ability
To hide
Will I survive?
When secrets
A personal Jesus
Takes my Beatrice

Universal good
Knew it would
Come
End of my fun
Like you left
Catch my breath
But I’m not dead yet

You shout praises
Your God saves us
By that meaning the few
His aim is true
Such is my upset
Praying to reconnect
What I’ve wrecked

If I’m to blame
Think I’m going insane
Over something so inane
That golden glow
Didn’t I know?
Fire down below
Personal Devil
Prepares to revel
Was I really such a rebel?

Wanting to be free
Less ordinary
Inferno for me

Copyright © 2012, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

The Peeks of Love

Do you trust me… I’m honestly still waiting to see it for myself but it starts with a kiss and why are we not privy to that; because it would just look weird. “The Peeks of Love”, maybe I’ve seen everything but the real thing, I don’t know.

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vrXH47EGds

Does God never shut his eyes… true?
And the Devil knows me too
But with a good night kiss or two
With three little words or a few
You show me something I never knew
“Now let me love you”
“Love me like you do”

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Princess Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca… Final Fantasy XII, Glee Cast Version “Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself)”, and Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack

Love Me to Pieces

So close and yet so far, every time I see her, and yet the things I want to do would leave the both of in pieces but I still want her whole. Love Me to Pieces, as long as it’s not my heart again, I wouldn’t mind a bit of hide and go seek in the dark.

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygqAbdu2R0M

And another piece of my heart
Maybe a pair of wings
A set of horns, is that a halo

It’s HARD but love me like you do
from your head down to your toes
But there’s this and that and this THING
I want to tear you apart

Swear I’ll find you

“Again?”
“Promise?”

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Yuna… Final Fantasy X [X-2], Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, She Wants Revenge “Tear You Apart”, All 4 One “I Swear”, Audien Ft. Lady Antebellum “Something Better” and Lenny Kravitz “Again”

Digging That L-Bomb

Am I running from love… no but I’m in the dark, I’m alone, and the way love looks to me, the things I want to do; I’d ruin her I think, no girl could possibly go so low. Digging That L-Bomb… love changes us; I can imagine what my world would be like.

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf4ae-bFVCM

And even though God keeps searching…
What does he know huh?
Maybe it’s still too early

But the Devil says, “don’t turn around”
Only why the rush
He’s got de Sade, Hentai, and ravishment, now

just three little words to say
or love me like you do… hush
I don’t want to be afraid

I’m gonna dig myself a hole, a fallout shelter, my atom bomb baby
my mind, my heart, my BODY, do you want to touch?
Keep falling… one, two, thirteen women got me digging

The L-Bomb… how far is far enough

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Yuna Naruse, Saishuu Chikan Densha 2, Midnight Sleazy Train 2, Ace of Base “Don’t Turn Around”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, Arthur ‘Big Boy’ Crudup “I’m Gonna Dig Myself A Hole” (1951) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Dore Alpert “Fallout Shelter” (1962) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Five Stars “Atom Bomb Baby” (1957) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), and Bill Haley and His Comets “Thirteen Women” (1954) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters)