Log 201 ~Four A Free Will~

If I came with a label, it would be “FORE,” although that would mean I’m getting a lot more fresh air, and I’ve been in bed except for taking care of my four-legged son, walks and a vet visit. Four A Free Will, add a wife, and another child

Saturday, January 18, 2020

Log 201 ~Four A Free Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even four billion wouldn’t be enough. Does that mean by next year I will be saying I AM a Trillionaire right now? Spellcheck doesn’t even recognize the word. Million, Billion, Trillion, and where did I hear that comedy comes in three’s? Also, My Dæmon has three names, the same as the rest of us. I know you’re saying wait a minute, “Lady Luna,” but I’m here to talk about fours, not two. How I believed four was a lucky number.

By tomorrow (today’s Thursday), it will have been three weeks since I started fighting my addiction. I’m looking forward to the fourth week, though, the month, even the year. So I am looking forward to beating Far Cry 5, John, Jacob, Faith, and Joseph Seed. I’ve told the story about why I chose four as my number. You remember a certain girl in high school and also junior college. Group #4 and how I started writing about her, and needless to say, I’m a college dropout. Not depressed again only a fact, now I can’t count how many hours I have spent in this bed. My four-legged firstborn has been hanging around. Still, a tad upset with getting three shots. I also asked them to cut his nails so four bad things he would consider.

Four is a simpler number than a billion. I still remember when I offered MILF Dos $400.00 to “Get Naked” as the song goes. Let’s say I work out better deals that The Commander and Chief.” Then again “FORE” I am a warning I mean Will’s Writings, Witticisms, Wisdom? I could tell you three things I like about my addiction and then add in a fourth. But again, I always have to post, well except for Thursday. Wouldn’t that be the fifth day of the week but the fourth business day? I sound like something off of Sesame Street, but you know how I am with numbers. On any given workday, I would consider four hours of sleep to be a good thing. Last night I got a fourth gun slot in Far Cry 5, notice I can say slots, holsters, placements. I’m staying on the up and up, but if I started talking holes?

My paycheck gets split into four different places every week that I should look in on, Four A Free Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 194 ~Does Will Like Company~

For the first time in life, I might care if the stock market is doing well when it comes to “Bollywood” but anything to move on from some people and forward in my life. “Does Will Like Company?”

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Log 194 ~Does Will Like Company~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so that would make me part of the 1%. One more thing that separates me from the common man and yet I want the company. Well, not Eros International, but it’s a start. I finally have stock in a company, and again, it’s like two sides of the same coin. Now I want money because I can’t stand those people at the Day Job. Only I like being with M Anime; as I said the things, I’ll do if a woman is involved. Better still the things I haven’t done lately.

Is it me, or have I not mentioned Far Cry 5 for a couple of days somehow? Yes, I’m still the avid player with being captured by Jacob, freeing Jess Black. What about working for the Whitetails. Must everything sound dirty to a certain degree? On top of talking to the girls, I’ve been texting to the girls. Indiana Gone, Cherry, M Anime, I’m a regular chatterbox these days. Anything to not enjoy my company as it were. I could be worrying about the impending storm as the Day Job reached out only last night. Now Eros International doesn’t look so bad by comparison. What about my organization, you know, Second Circle Creations? At the moment, I’m the CEO, and how much is my company worth, I ask? I should add up what’s in my savings that right now is sitting on the nightstand this moment.

Again, how will I know until I get my other car fixed? Not looking forward to getting to know whoever they send to jump it, talking to my Olds, or talking to a mechanic. At least it’s not the Day Job. Don’t “THEY,” say it’s all about the company that you keep? If that’s the case, my priority is My Dæmon. My son, my companion, my prince, and if I’m not following some swaying hips, it’s his wagging tail. Now speaking of a tale, what about my story, well my poetry. Isn’t that how I intend to make my fortune? God was lonely, and he made himself a world. I’m not making such a grandiose statement, like Dante from The Walking Dead. Only Lady Luna, I made myself a universe, and I put more than money into it. Well, tell that to Outskirt Press ha.

Not their fault, but with everyone, Does Will Like Company?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 187 ~Maybe This Will Cure~

I’m not sick; I have some friends who are suffering through everything but I remain healthy and active but my life is something else to be sure and it doesn’t need a cure but here we are. “Maybe This Will Cure”

Saturday, January 4, 2020

Log 187 ~Maybe This Will Cure~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m awake right now. Don’t get me wrong I’m not discounting the whole 1:30 AM waking dynamic but not tomorrow. Even with a half-day, I slept most of it away, and guess what woke me up? Isn’t it always a woman? I spent most of the day talking to M Anime. For a woman, the things that men are capable of doing Lady Luna? I still remember that quote from 500 Days Of Summer, which rings as the gospel truth.

“Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.”

Like any medication, there are side effects, but I won’t go into those. Positivity is the order of the day, so how have I done this week. Well again I am the time traveler, I wrote about Friday this morning and Saturday tonight. The point is words Lady Lu like that movie Play’d “these words they have power,” I stood up to Loss Prevention Tuesday. A term that I find myself repeating is “breathe.” More than anything, I need air. Again I told M Anime the truth. So what about my “father” or MILF Dos? Today will be the day with my father, but I can’t see the future. Lady Lu, that’s facts, for example, Far Cry 5 the Nadine Abercrombie side mission Golden Age Nostalgia. Instead, I finished Larry Parker’s side missions giving me 51/52. We never know where we will find ourselves ever.

“I had nothing left to offer but pure reflex. Pure reflex and mankind’s basic drive for survival, that somehow shouts, “NO – I WILL NOT DIE TODAY!” The Beach (2000)

Now that’s where the law of attraction comes into play. Sunday I need to write my New Year’s Resolutions but what about right at this moment. I want M Anime to say YES, and then there’s another potential. How about all my problems will be solved come February 28, 2020, by PCH. I still remember how much faith I had that one day when they came so close, awarding the grand prize. There can’t be any doubt in my mind. Trust in the universe, and if that isn’t my motivation talking. My writing is going to take off this month, I know it, I will get it done. Tonight we’ll have this conversation, and I’ll wake up fresh and ready to go in the morning. I don’t need to be saved, or cured truth be told, I need to stay awake, life is not a virus that I have.

Convincing, quite the same fire and passion I give everyone still, Maybe This Will Cure.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 180 ~Less Than Willing, Weak~

Am I willing, well that’s my name, “Will,” Willie, sometimes I don’t know considering it took an email to HR to stop the calls of Mr. Willie and that was when I was lucky, but I’m lazy? Less Than Willing, Weak.

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Log 180 ~Less Than Willing, Weak~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and for most, comfort makes for weak men. How do THEY say, Fake It To You Make It? All I know is comfort when I’m not at the Day Job or anywhere outside. Even getting nearly eight hours isn’t helping. Why not eight, My Dæmon decided not to walk to the bathroom. Oh, and I’m an addict, not a doubt in my mind anymore. Of course, you know to what and when’s the last time I’ve gone a week. My motivations would ask what it’s going to take to change ever.

The year of Will, when I’ve already lost three months, last September. While I’m on the subject of the past, what about the movie Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor, SIGH. Am I starting to show my age, Lady Luna? Where was my “father” at my age? I bet it wasn’t in bed watching YouTube videos on Far Cry 5. I’m willing to do whatever needs demand to advance in the game but not in my life? My Dæmon looked at me as though I wasn’t ready to do anything. Like Father Like Son, he didn’t want his morning vitamin, treat, or any meds. I’m not suicidal, but every day this house becomes more like a coffin. If anything, though, I prefer it to the fires or the freezing that is my Day Job. Then again, what have I done this week to avoid going back other than stay a day ahead blogging? I continue to search on PCH like one day, yeah, here’s one million dollars.

Do I have anything to tout about this week? A couple of days not dying on Far Cry 5, but one day I didn’t play a full hour. The next, I had to replay the Exodus mission to save ALL the hostages. What can I say, I don’t like to lose? Sitting here in bed, growing a beard, eating cupcakes for breakfast. Yeah, so locked up in my addiction, I couldn’t bring myself to go downstairs and make pancakes or anything. I would say I’m going to be nothing but positive in the new year, but I’m not a liar. I’m lazy, lonely, a loser, but no, I won’t lie. You’re telling me to stop it and believe me; I understand that I must. Next week, new year and decade.

Why wait, I should get up; Less Than Willing, Weak?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 173 ~The Will To Betray~

I say I would never betray my son, I don’t cheat on women, and I want to be as honest I can, even to a fault as some say but while I’m trying to look into a mirror, who is it stabbing me in the back? “The Will To Betray”

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Log 173 ~The Will To Betray~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and that’s worth a little treason. Now I don’t wish to emulate the President but for the right price? Didn’t I talk about having peace of mind last week? Instead, this week I have bought more almost, my arrogance, and anxiety. You know, in being the man that I want to be, I’m not even close. Last night I sent a message/comment to a blogger offering my services. In all fairness, it hasn’t been twenty-four hours. How about anxiety from spending money on more mom, $50.00 from a scammer. Of course, there’s also Indiana Gone’s gifts.

One of my motivations talks about sacrificing what you want. I know what I want, but every day I betray that man, and for what exactly? I rise at this “godforsaken” hour every single morning, expecting to get even more work done. On a workday I talk to you, I am almost late for the Day Job. I work for them, come back, and fall into my unmade bed, repeat. The real me sucks, but what about the virtual version. Of Mice and Men, they say, I had one plan and what happened there? Well, I’m taking the fight to John Seed because I’m sick of air travel. Namely, bullets and bombs, finding their way into my body, Far Cry 5, of course. There is one more life that depends on me, and I’m still not much of a father. My Dæmon has everything he needs, but what about more. No, I’m too concerned with maids, and let’s say charity.

I’m a businessman, or so I want to be like Hugh Hefner and Dennis Hof. No, they made choices; they gave others options. I ask everyone to forget who they are so they can fit into my narrative. Only that’s somewhat the idea, to break out. I need to start breaking out of the roles that people place on me, Lady Luna. Are these character studies any better or worse than the ones that I write of myself at times? What about the woman that I want to make happy one day? If you want me to have gratitude, that’s what it is for today. The idea that I can still believe in something like that at all. Well, l look at the time, the seconds marking my perpetual treason. Wake up, wise up, and denounce The Will To Betray.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 166 ~A Peace Of Will~

Peace is not in my possessions, pants, or any person I‘m thinking about in any particular way and of course, my gaming habit is all about warfare and pushing a lot of buttons but pieces of life? A Peace Of Will

Saturday, December 14, 2019

Log 166 ~A Peace Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, or why don’t you tell me when? It’s that time of the season or getting pretty close, you know Joy, Hope, Peace, maybe Live, Laugh, Love? Of course, I have a rule, # 13 Power Is All That Matters. I still stand behind it, Lady Lu. My favorite word must be SLEEP, and this morning, it was touch and go. The fight continues, and that’s the point today; it goes on and on. Yes, I’m trying to form a new habit, but I wish for Peace.

Far Cry 5 is the perfect example. What was it, only the year before I was all Detroit: Become Human and now my latest game. Anyway, I continue to advance, but here’s the thing, I don’t know-how, wow. I was playing last night fighting to take back Nick Rye’s plane, and all of a sudden, I’ve seized John Seed’s Ranch. When I went to liberate Fall’s End, the battle was over before I knew it, quickly enough. I was finding peace without even trying, now what about my life? Not even in my bed anymore. My pillow has become the enemy because there is too much work to be done. Now I go into the Day Job; that is no place for peace. Every day is not like a holiday, but more “You’ve Been Marked.” It’s the warning John gave.

Now, of course, I am reminded of Eric Thomas saying, “Sleep is for those people who are broke.” What time is it; he goes on to say, “you’re in a financial transition.” Well, I even saved money the other day though not by choice. R.I.P Red Lantern, why must all the places I like to eat, go out of business? Couldn’t I say the same thing about my budding writing career? What about my “modeling” hires or my search for a new maid. Those aren’t the reasons I’m losing sleep. Nope, I’m losing sleep because I want to live the dream of being a writer before going on to live a nightmare. Well, My Lady as I complain about sitting here fending off exhaustion while My Dæmon slumbers. The war, which is life, seems far.

Is this what they call Peace of Mind? Now that is what I’m seeking, and I believe all the money in the world would bring? Priorities A Peace Of Will

I Will Have No Fear

Log 159 ~Not Will’s Mad Son~

December 7th, brave men and women died so I could complain about nonworking cars, newer fears, and neighbors, some people might consider it madness, and I wish I could say I was crazy, but it’s fear. “Not Will’s Mad Son”

Saturday, December 7, 2019

Log 159 ~Not Will’s Mad Son~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now and a lover. Okay, time for the truth, I’m somebody’s son and My Dæmon’s father. So 2 out of four ain’t bad, better than my Six Impossible Things. Only I’m not mad at those failures as of late, but what’s grinding my gears today or not?

Again I have both of my parents, and I would rather lose myself than them. No, I’m not sentimental but indeed STUPID, sad, and a Scrooge. Now, this is more Inspector Echo’s wheelhouse, but here’s a confession. I was outside today “trying” to fix the car, and you know why? Lady Luna, I would indeed fry myself, poison, or crash rather than go to my Olds. Do you remember Indiana Gone’s Wedding? I was barely done checking in at the hotel when my Mom called frantically. She thought my card was gone. I didn’t tell her I was leaving town because I figured she and my “father” would ransack my place, no doubt. I’ve got submissive clothes in the closet, the house is a mess, and they might have better luck than hackers. It terrifies me to tell them one of my cars won’t start. One more failure from their STUPID son, so I can’t call the insurance people either.

The doctor, well, I haven’t seen one in forever, and my firstborn is doing fine. He’s only bored to tears. Daddy is always working, writing, looking at women. We are so going to get to that today. Anyway, I am no kind of father. Worse, I’m becoming my father; My Dæmon has a roof, he has food, I’m getting back my schedule with his medication. What about love, though? I tell him that every day, but how am I showing him some? He only ever gets my attention when he’s messing something up these days.

Speaking of messing up, the Universe presented me with an opportunity. While giving up on the car, a new neighbor walked up; her name is Madison. Brunette, pretty, no distance at all, but she wanted to use my Wi-Fi. Strange to call something mine, but anyway, what did I say? “I’m not comfortable with that, I’m sorry.” You know how I think Lady Lu, so why did I say no? As the song goes, oh no, the world is a scary place: well, I’m mad.

FEAR… Not Will’s Mad Son.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 152 ~Willing Cause For Occasion~

It doesn’t need to be noble, unique, or even a tragedy, I finished NaNoWriMo, and all I got is a YouTube video, so confetti, and a shirt I had to pay for but doing something like writing 50,000 words or getting out of bed. Willing Cause For Occasion.

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Log 152 ~Willing Cause For Occasion~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, and you would think that would be enough. Yes, I have been listening to a lot of my motivations lately. If you recall last year or the year before, I got heavy into Fearless Motivation, Fearless Soul. I began “studying” Eric Thomas, Tom Bilyeu, and with this year Dale Carnegie. Now being honest, Lady Luna, I started reading and listening to him because of Dennis Hof. The thing is, with all of these works and teachers they require, Purpose, Discipline, and a Lack Of Sleep, SIGH.

Yesterday My Lady, I tried, and you know I’m always on the cusp of quoting Master Yoda. Anyway, I was reading, and when I began to read the same sentence twenty times in a row well. Now it’s not like I didn’t pay for it, I missed around a half-hour of wrestling. Don’t ask me what I ate for the last two nights? A bag of Goldfish crackers a kid left, six muffins, and four while I was in bed. There were two bags of sour gummy bears that I packed and two cookies. Is this what my life is worth, I ate Thanksgiving Dinner before working Black Friday and again I can’t stand my Day Job. So why do I try so hard at something I detest but do so poorly on things I enjoy. Yet last night, Brooke Logan plus Cherry. I’m still Family-Friendly SIGH; if you look any of those names up, you have only yourself to blame. I wish I could share, but I know better.

So as for today, why did I bother getting up at all? I mean, I got out of bed, put on my boots instead of my slippers, and then what? I played TWD so I could finish the Daily Challenge. My Dæmon has been outside and has eaten breakfast. I even made the bed today. I am stopping myself from crawling back in. I played some Pac Man; it’s been bothering me since seeing in at the Day Job. I counted up my savings, $625.00 since Indiana Gone’s Wedding. How I climbed in the shower this morning, is a miracle, besides being sore and my ear still hurting. Now I find myself talking to you. My whole point is with my motivations I need something to drive me, well, after NaNoWriMo. It’s not going to be Christmas, but staying on the cusp of survival or counting my sins, isn’t helping.

Life, Willing Cause For Occasion.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 145 ~Will’s A Pinprick Away~

So close, almost there, I can see the goal, tonight’s end and I’m 48,300 words in, a mere 1,700 away from the target and there you have it, I will have completed yet one more NaNoWriMo but these hands, whatever am I doing. Will’s A Pinprick Away

Saturday, November 23, 2019

Log 145 ~Will’s A Pinprick Away~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I hope someone out there still likes me in some way. You know I’ve been so caught up with writing I haven’t worried much about losing another friend. No one important, which is a harsh way to put that, but I’m always a second away from being this guy. I still haven’t caught up with M Anime and Cherry; of course, well, I talk to her like I once spoke to Indiana Gone. The married lady is beginning her new life, so I don’t fault her for not being around.

The life of an artist can be a lonely road, you know. Everything in my existence usually revolves around one particular subject. Let’s say I won’t be holding hands anytime soon with these hands. No disrespect to Bruce Springsteen’s “My City’s In Ruins,” but the last thing I’m doing is praying. Well, unless where my little dæmon is concerned. My hands at this time are mainly for two things, the Day Job and my writing. If anything the Day Job destroys a lot more than my hands, with books, there’s only exhaustion but also pride. One of my motivations says, follow your heart; your brain is STUPID. I have other thoughts on the concept, but I’m not at liberty to share them. Did I even put up yesterday’s conversation? Another drunken night of sleeplessness, yep.

If I’m not going to sleep at a decent hour, I might as well be doing something productive, like checking on my friends. In a way, though, I feel sort of like Scar about to be consumed by the hyenas. You know him saying they were the enemy right, and how many other exciting E words could I come up with Lady Lu? Now I have to conjure up some sweet title for my next chapter. It’s why I had to stop writing the novel for a little bit. There are two chapters left, only 5000 words, and I’m looking at another NaNoWriMo win. Still, the pride is somewhat replaced with meanness because what comes after, right? Okay, so the title of the next bit of writing will be Organs Short Of An Orgy. So yeah, I won’t be posting this one for most of the public. The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono is still sex free mind you Lady Lu.

Madness, Will’s A Pinprick Away

I Will Have No Fear

Log 138 ~Will Crosses The Streams~

There was a song that said if I could save time in a bottle, well I’d be wasting it anyway like this morning; I had two days, that could be well over 9000 thousand words for NaNoWriMo, trying to stay above the line. Will Crosses The Streams

Saturday, November 16, 2019

Log 138 ~Will Crosses The Streams~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why not invest in Disney+, Apple TV, HBO, Netflix, etc.

If I did, I would still spend the whole morning sleeping the day away. Can I stay positive, if just for one day? Well, what have I accomplished, only walking My Dæmon? I got something in my stomach, Nachos with Queso, the breakfast of champions?

I’m not going to lie; it’s as if I’m in Death’s flow of the river like Sabriel. How I miss reading, and of course, my writing is suffering for it, Lady Lu. Connecting characters from Apocalypse Rush and The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono. It’s like the original Star Wars trilogy with no mention of the Sith, and then oh, that’s what you call the Dark Side. Well, it’s not all bad if I can compare my piece of work to such classics. I could be crossing the line though between genius and insanity. If anything, I need to cross the line, the threshold of the bedroom door. What about a path of consciousness from between my lips? At the Day Job, I keep telling myself that a manager here or there, an employee, do cross bounds. I can’t even tell you about that right now, and why is that Lu.

“Family-Friendly,” “Decency,” and I’m starting to hate the term “Snowflake.” Of course, with my car freezing over every day, that has other connotations. How about the fact that I’m hot and cold at the same time? Wasn’t that clunky to say, but that’s the thing, everybody telling me how to write or what. Even my book characters are being quite disagreeable. I’m ready to throw my hands up, but I’m past the point of no return. I never got that phrase until I was traveling, and I haven’t been on the highway since. Could that explain how I’m feeling now, going with the flow, but I’m underwater, again like the title Sabriel. Between talking to you, I’m trying to knock out some emails, and every time the next one comes, I have to stop writing.

Wanting to write and at the same time, caught up in everything else, and I’m still sitting in bed. I’ll move when I get to a thousand words, and of course, I can’t focus on one task at a time, not me. NaNoWriMo demands The “Wrist” of Playing Chrono, not much time. Four thousand six hundred more words today, Lady Lu, Will Crosses The Streams.

I Will Have No Fear