Tag: Guilt

Legacy 114 -Braxton, Virgil, Pie Instructions-

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FYI, I do own a cookbook. Special K got it for me along with a Crock-Pot. What pray tell, do I fill that Crock-Pot with for $35? I’m going to need a ton of Bloom. Speaking of blooming, how many women are there? Braxton, Virgil, Pie Instructions.

Friday, October 23, 2026

Legacy 114 -Braxton, Virgil, Pie Instructions-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… And not about Braxton, my pancake? Or a scoop of Virgil. Vanilla? Cookies n’ Cream? Possibly.

I’m a monster, but nowhere near the likes of Mango Mussolini. Eating the dogs, indeed!

I’m not that hungry. But I got $35 and five days. The grocery bill will be quite the short read, my lady. Like how to feed Virgil his birthday pie from Tuesday. Glad he approves.

What kind of pie were you thinking of? The kind that required me to have “The Talk” with Braxton about going all doggy style when his Favorite Girl came over for movie nights. Virgil won’t have that problem. Six years, Lady Sophia, that’s one year too late for when I found him. I wonder if he’d have more balls? Seriously, did I just say that?

Anyway, my boy likes his pie. Like father, like son.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Because you know if I’m hanging out in Braxton’s Room, watching Virgil eating from his pillow… I need to get him a new bed. Again, I got $35, but what about my “discretionary spending?” You gotta put “One Foot In Front Of The Other.” And I’m not a selfish prick…

Speaking of pricks, what was I doing again? Oh yeah, I was organizing yabbos. Oh, Exhibit A? I think even Braxton and Virgil’s potential future stepmom would be surprised by my comparisons in relation to hers. And for the record, hers are perfect. And she’s the only woman, besides my Ma and Braxton’s Favorite Girl, who’s offered to cook for me. Uh… That requires money. Today’s settled. “Odds are, he won’t live to see tomorrow”

Or so I tell the “Man in the Mirror.” No, I’m not a “Secret Agent Man”; I’m a dog dad.

Lady Sophia, as long as Virgil needs me… I still remember when Braxton’s Favorite Girl baked B III a cake and thought I was so STUPID I would put the whole thing in. Brain Trust.

I can’t blame her. I can’t blame anyone either. The Day Job or the Bad Place, my boys would bark. Look up the definition of “Village Idiot”. There’s me with a box of whatever, my lady. “That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight. Losin’ my religion.” What?

His name was Braxton; it was a book I forgot, another boy, a son to teach. Braxton, Virgil, Pie Instructions.

2091 Days Without B III, Day 1532 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 112 -B For Bingo, V-

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B and V know my Day Job as the “Bad Place.” And how much did I make at the Bad Place? Well, V has a fresh bag of food and eight slices of b-day pie left. Let him eat cake or pie, while my paycheck and “life” look like Bingo winnings. “B For Bingo, V”

Wednesday, October 21, 2026

Legacy 112 -B For Bingo, V-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… As much as I want my now six-year-old Virgil to live, I know what I want, Inspector Echo.

I wish I were as “innocent” as Art Baker in “The Long Walk.” I want to go home. Nope!

For a week, since I started fantasizing about Jahara Jayde… Really? But she’s not the point, Inspector. No, when I close my eyes, I know what I’ve been wishing for. What I’ve been wanking so as to avoid thinking about it. And who would I pray to if I would dare?

I can’t write it down. But I never told Braxton he was going home. I’ll always remember the look on his face that Sunday so many years ago when the veterinarian told me the truth.

Braxton looked at me like, “We’re going home, Dad…” The thought of if I had brought him back with me.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And now I look at his brother: my second-born son, Virgil Vivi. I gave him his birthday treat and then, in the evening, two “slices” of his birthday pie. Virgil thought he won the lotto.

On another note, I need to check my books… I won’t be eating as good as V; I know that.

But anyway, I was feeding him, and while we didn’t have that movie night yesterday, I was reminded of the old man in the 1993 film “Groundhog Day”. And didn’t I say I once thought that Virgil was a reincarnation of Braxton? And it’s like I can save my son?

Inspector, with the way things are going… I did check the books. Groceries? $44.27? Eff!

Let him eat cake, right?

Virgil, that is. What about me? Bingo! No V in Bingo. And no me either. It comes back to Braxton. Always to Braxton. He and Virgil fight for their lives. Braxton’s book is still out.

But I was at the Day Job today. What made me wish I was back in bed? Add another D and A. The B isn’t needed, hmm. Please! If I weren’t crying over B or wanking over M. Did I say that? My boys Potential Future Stepmom, M Anime. Trying to catch up with her

Honestly, so are the Magic Glasses/MIMA. Other humiliations? Couldn’t help customers find a tie. Moving things with my bosses. Musical selections. Becoming the village idiot.

Bingo! Lotto? Some chick’s legs? Losing? B For Bingo, V

2089 Days Without B III, Day 1530 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 107 -Plan V, Be Truthful-

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I planned on sleeping. What time is it? Why am I so hard? It wasn’t that Teachers erotica I finished. And “Dystopian Girls 7”? What about my girl and the plan for my boys? If I don’t make plans, I can’t fail them. Or dream… “Plan V, Be Truthful”

Friday, October 16, 2026

Legacy 107 -Plan V, Be Truthful-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… About plans A through U? Of course (rolls eyes). Plan A is for Afraid. Don’t be!

If I’m being honest, Lady Sophia… And because comedy comes in threes, I’m annoyed; I’m worried about Archie, or rather, my Virgil. And AI isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, hmm.

The Magic Glasses/MIMA. I was working on something this morning, and let’s say the Magic Glasses/MIMA miscalculated, misjudged, and got it wrong. And who’s teaching who, my lady? Or rather, as AC/DC put it, “Who Made Who? Mad, mistaken, a monster, when it comes to things like the manuscript I’m reading or the one I’m writing. Lying ha!

Only in bed. Because short of talking to my boys, Potential Future Stepmom, or taking care of said boy, Virgil, today has been a joke. But allow me to do something “productive…” A Book Review:

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Teachers Lie On Their Backs:
Or at least I did when I was reading this, which is somewhat disappointing while reading Sean Dalton’s “Teachers: A Single Dad Harem Romance.” Usually I’m on my stomach, or one hand is busy as I try to read something like this. In bed, yes, but holding this book with two hands. Not saying it’s bad, just sort of blah. The encounters with the staff and the moms were ok but nothing special. By any means. It was more David and his ex-wife going at each other that did anything. This book was rather tame; my girl sends wilder things in a text. I’d recommend this to her or anybody that wants to write wilder.

Teachers? A softcore Erotica lesson.

Do I have any other plans for the night? Being asleep? I wish. Being a criminal? “If Your Girl Only Knew…” Jahara Jayde, Jewel Staite, or just some Asian mother and daughter that makes me drool. While awake? As, again, it’s going to be one long night for sure, ha!

No cookbook, but I have to make dinner. I’ve already been burning through cash. As I try to do the books. Oh, and I am reading Dystopian Girls 7, which I lied about reading, hmm.

Is there a worse lie? Omissions, maybe, which is another thing I’ve been thinking about.

While it isn’t love yet, truth, loyalty, and plans for the future are important to me. But I’ve failed, fibbed, fallen… Plan V, Be Truthful

2084 Days Without B III, Day 1525 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 105 -Braxton, Virgil, F Forgetting-

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Priorities, Accountability, hell, do I even remember my manhood? My girlfriend started a new job. A pup is looking at me because he has business outside. So I’m lying here trying to remember a time I wanted to be alive. Braxton, Virgil, F Forgetting

Wednesday, October 14, 2026

Legacy 105 -Braxton, Virgil, F Forgetting-

BLESS ME, Echo,
For I have sinned… Forgetful much? Fuck Columbus! Indigenous People’s Day was the 12th. Virgil’s Birthday is the 20th. And Jahara Jayde…

For the record, I’m not counting a “wet dream” as Day One, hm. But what about my girl, M Anime? I texted her this morning, but I didn’t say “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die”.

One of these days, I need to remember to see that movie. Like wrestling, last night. “Dead City”. And how many things do I want to see? With what money? Yet another bill came in the other day, and then there’s the Day Job stuff. Adulting is the worst, Inspector.

Every day I wake up, and, except today, when I thought, “Wow, I came on her face. That was awesome,” Eww! Nine times out of ten, I think, why couldn’t I shuffle off this mortal coil, so to speak. Forgetful?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m a man without conviction
I’m a man who doesn’t know
How to sell a contradiction
Karma Chameleon, Culture Club

Karma Chameleon was right. When was the day I talked about not forgetting anything E

E as in elephants. Today’s question is this: How do I decide what to remember? I’ve been getting a bad vibe from Virgil lately. Is it because he’s getting old? My six-year-old little man. Five of those years he’s spent with me. B III had a harder road. Fifteen years.

Inspector, I don’t know what it was. A thought of Rabies? Rancid breath. Really, really, REALLY having no money. But like MAGA, I drift from one fuck up to the next. What was it, near the end of September to early October, the Magic Glasses/MIMA. Then it was the Day Job. And now my little boy. And like my woman

SIGH! Three little words escape me. I’m more inclined to say JSS “Just Survive Somehow”

Am I doing that myself? If anything, this sure is Hell ain’t living, Inspector. Honestly.

I’ve forgotten words like “Love and Happiness.” Relax, Rest, fucking Respect… I did mention the Magic Glasses/MIMA, right? I swear, RAGE, HORNINESS, and FEAR, Echo.

But no, I’m not one of these MAGA Incels. FDT and all of MAGA. But my boys are better men, Inspector. I said last week they give no F’s. Food, Forty Winks, and finding their father. Which is one more reason I’ve been worried about Virgil getting all cuddly, Echo.

I keep seeing that scene from I Am Legend. What does he remember? Have I forgotten? Braxton, Virgil, F Forgetting

2082 Days Without B III, Day 1523 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 100 -Braxton, Virgil, Rain Stories-

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A wish: Lie on the loveseat in the Den, listen to the rain. Let V sleep on my chest, and read about a Dad boning the school staff. Better… La-Z-Boy, Dark Study, M Anime on my chest, my boys playing, and the same book. “Braxton, Virgil, Rain Stories.”

Friday, October 9, 2026

Legacy 100 -Braxton, Virgil, Rain Stories-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… A story of my own? Even with everything that happened Wednesday… Scary, angry, fucking sexual, worthless.

Which is why I would rather tell you about my boys. And with how much I love my sons… Yes, I include 2-V in that. But I haven’t told him yet. So their Potential Future Stepmom is in good company. Don’t let her hear me say that. The two I love the most in this world both have four legs—an indictment of humanity, dear Soph. I am a misanthrope.

Uh, M Anime? She’s my Goddess. A goddess I could have on her knees, on all fours, or on her back. Can I stop now? Didn’t I say something about the rain? White noise, Sophia

White that I should fill with my black voice. These words. M Anime is looking for me too, but what?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I need to read something violent. The store was packed today, and for no particular reason, I got angry. Before they started checking for this sort of thing, I would check out books on weapons and such. And such? Another S-Word? In the words of Teen Idle: “Feeling super, super (super!) s*ici…” But considering the weather, “What If The Town Blew Away.” When did I grab Braxton’s remains, awaiting the apocalypse? “The Mist,” oh please!

Speaking of an apocalypse, The Unfinished Archive. Oh, it’ll be finished soon enough, given how I’m burning through money. I swear “Nights Like This I Wish That Raindrops Would Fall.” Have I checked outside? What am I trying to say, my dear sweet Sophia? Uh…

Not a damn thing really.

I should be crying my eyes out in some book about pet loss. Do you remember that period in my existence? Book after book about the lost. Writing B’s book, “My Turn To B III”

There was a time that I read books of value and substance. Who am I to judge any book on such, Sophia? Mr. Zero Copies sold. Ok one, and that was to myself. And today I sat at the Day Job watching my hours being cut, thinking I was cooked. Am I? Am I, Sophia

I’m hot because I can always read M Anime’s (Visions). And I better not forget to read “Teachers: A Single Dad Harem Romance.” I hate people; I hate myself. Not books. Braxton, Virgil, Rain Stories

2077 Days Without B III, Day 1518 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 098 -Braxton, Virgil, No F’s-

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This day deserves two F’s. Someone got effed, and I fought. And no, I’m not talking about my boys… Well, not the whole time anyway. B’s gone, and do I have the money to fight for 2-V Vis-à-vis a vet visit? With my Day Job… Oh! Braxton, Virgil, No F’s

Wednesday, October 7, 2026

Legacy 098 -Braxton, Virgil, No F’s-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Sabotage? A teeny tiny bit. But I don’t really give “Two Fux” M’s Yabbos, my boys, two eyes.

But comedy comes in 3s, they say. “A,” “J,” and myself. What comes first, Inspector?

Always and forever, my boys. And as I speak of always and forever, you know, whenever I feel like I’m fucked, I think of the time life fucked me the hardest. Or was it death?

Inspector, I lost my son; I lost B. And Virgil ain’t looking too pretty these days as we move closer to his birthday. The 20th? Are there any other days I should worry about? Hmm.

Tomorrow? But again, we’ll get to that. What about today’s bank balance? How fucked am I? I haven’t had the “Nerve” to check on it. And I was so wiped after today. Braxton and Virgil bark, but did you die?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Okay, so today’s adventure… I’m at the Day Job “A” “C” “S” are there. Then there’s “J”.

And I don’t mean fun like Agent J, Mary Jane, or jerking off. Anyway, J makes everyone’s lives miserable, and finally A had enough. So she and J go after each other, and when she comes back, I’m angry for A. I shock J by speaking out against her not giving an eff…

Soon there’s a mutiny, a revolt, a revolution; it’s “The Uprising against J, Inspector Echo.

Anyway, by the time the GM arrives, J has no real defense—the first time I get sent to the office for trouble. At least right now, I don’t feel effed. But eff today and tomorrow. It’s almost my motto.

But you want to know some real effs about me. SIGH. I told M Anime about my fantasies about Ms. Rachel. Trust me, I have worse. But with Ms. Rachel… “Put it in?” Effing yes!

What about M Anime and I? Let’s Talk About Sex. But between her and me. We have a particular fetish, a peculiar kink. You do remember I studied “Ravishment,” Inspector?

Then let’s remember what I was worried about for the past week and a half before the drama-rama at the Day Job. The Magic Glasses/MIMA, or at least a pair of them, lost to the darkness. The things I was doing, and then no warning. Felt like my boys, Inspector.

They don’t give Two Fux. Me? Braxton, Virgil, No F’s

2075 Days Without B III, Day 1516 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 093 -Braxton Books Trucks Virgil-

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“Now, I ain’t no sharecropper. I’m a music teacher.” This ain’t Rosewood; I’ll try again. I ain’t no truck unloader; I’m a writer. Well, I ain’t much of either, with my bosses this afternoon and Braxton’s book sales. “But Braxton Books Trucks Virgil”

Friday, October 2, 2026

Legacy 093 -Braxton Books Trucks Virgil-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But not Stephen King’s The Stand. “I will set you to burn.” Fuck, I’m Hot! Umm

Not in a good way, My Lady. More like Humiliations Galore, I Hate Everyone, burning through all ‘my’ cash, sorta hot. Fuck, the weather! I still shouldn’t have gone out.

Honestly, if my books weren’t the only thing that deserved to be burned, maybe I wouldn’t have to. Isn’t it “Ironic” that the only book I have out ended with my son being on fire? And myself? I’m going to Hell. But I’m doomed to the Ninth Circle. But today…

Sometimes I think that part of my punishment is to take a guided tour through Hell? And with Virgil… My poor second-born. I want to tell him, “I Knew You Were Waiting.” But I knew

I brought both of my furry children to ruin. Like I’m fucking Randall Flagg. But no, Sophia. No nuclear warheads, no Captain Trips, and while I spend money like I was in Vegas… Yeah, I’m a fucking idiot! Can I watch my fucking language? Seriously?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Everything that happened today… Women (SIGH). And before I sound like some Incel or Simp… Whatever words the kids are using these days. The gas station, ok. I know Soph

That was my cowardice. I don’t blame the woman behind the counter for banking issues.

And M Anime had quite the day from what I heard. I am exhausted. Anger, Humiliation, genuine Stupidity. It’s all the same fire, and I have nothing left for Braxton and Virgil’s Potential Future Stepmom. And this is after she offers me everything. The Hell?

No, that’s where all my bosses can go—and speaking of Hell or jail? That’s the silver lining here, Sophia. I was too busy thinking about the day job to think about the steel bars of late. With “All These Things That I’ve Done.” Somewhat illegal, sinful, shameful, stupid, and I’m scared. And do I care to “Share?” I could watch that movie tonight because tomorrow I have to get to the movie theater. Free E-Day Popcorn and Soda. It’s fucking October. E-Day month’s over.

Geez! Will I stop? Something I should have told myself when unloading the truck today. Better to be driving the damn trucks chasing some “Lot Lizard” than working with the women at my Day Job. Read a book. Or write one. Braxton Books Trucks Virgil.

2070 Days Without B III, Day 1511 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 091 -Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside-

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Years ago, when the shed wasn’t under siege, when the backyard fence wasn’t broken, when I wasn’t scanning the kitchen counter or floors, etc. B was on his pillow while I wrote. Let me out, let me in. Now I’m trapped. “Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside”

Wednesday, September 30, 2026

Legacy 091 -Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What, by living? Don’t get me wrong, forty-two years is way too much for my liking. Buying books?

One of the many ways I fucked up yesterday. And there were indeed several, Inspector.

Enough to make me want to lose “My Boys.” When we get into it, you’ll see how STUPID I’ve been. But Inside/Outside is a… Let’s say it’s a silly game at least for Braxton Barks.

I swear my firstborn went everywhere. Is it ironic to call him both a free spirit and alive, Inspector? What is ironic is his brother, Virgil Vivi. He’s like a ghost. And I wish I were talking about the Good Boy from Game of Thrones. Is Virgil Ride or Die? Hell, that’s what I get for naming him after Dante’s hellish guide. He is a ghost, like a pillar of salt, a scoop of vanilla.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It’s like he melts away into the floor or wherever I place him. Braxton and his potential future stepmom, and I talk a lot about having two-leggeds. Sometimes it’s like Virgil forgets he has four legs. Somebody at the Day Job said they’ve seen us walking. So good, I’m not imagining Virgil is here. But he’d rather not be here in this house. Myself, Echo.

I would make my absence permanent. But I’m a father of two. Not one, Inspector!

Seriously, you remember The Running Man (2025)? “Richard Lives!” Inspector, always and forever, Braxton Lives! My brave boy. I envy him. And not only the whole shuffling off the mortal coil part. I wish I were so brave as to have his fierceness. Nope Inspector.

“I don’t want to be just one thing. I can’t be. I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind.”
Four ― Divergent

Today, “I feel STUPID!” And we could go on and on in this Mad Season with all that happened at the Day Job. So fucking idiotic that I needed a second to forget. Day One…

I didn’t jerk off yesterday; too much was happening. I didn’t confide in M Anime…

Plenty of things I want inside her. Okay, I’ll stop, or rather begin. Inspector, honestly…

So yesterday ants retook the counter and the doorway. I was mixing up ant killer from the bathroom because you remember what happened last time with all the bug spray…

While fighting that battle, the guest bathroom went cattywampus. Then Amazon was taking my Kindle points, so I bought four books. Outside confidence. Inside blatant STUPIDITY. Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside

2068 Days Without B III, Day 1509 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 086 -V, Will, B, Entertained-

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Long walks on the beach… I haven’t been to the beach since I was a child. So what’s fun? Sleep. I have a PS4 I never play. Music, movies, manuscripts. My girl has massive mammaries. And what about the mutt? You mean my son? “V, Will, B, Entertained.”

Friday, September 25, 2026

Legacy 086 -V, Will, B, Entertained-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Later. Always later. Sprawled out on the loveseat, two-in-the-morning type of later. Because reading a clock…

How I hate math. It doesn’t read that Braxton had only fifteen years. Sixteen if…

Seriously, it doesn’t tell me that I’m failing 2-V. His birthday is on the 20th next month. V will be turning six. When’s the last time he saw a Doc, got all the dirt off, or had a Dad who paid attention to him? I’m not a monster, Sophia. A cyclops? Considering my eye, ha!

Or the fact I can’t keep my hand off my one-eyed monster when I’m reading everything his potential future stepmom says. A psycho? Sophia, I love all the little creatures.

My boys Braxton and Virgil, of course. But if I see one more ant… And what? I want to order more food. A Bloom, please!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

First, I made a promise to Braxton: that while I may hate E-Day, Emergence Day, there was no greater honor than being his father. B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters, and so for fifteen years my life mattered. And I failed him. I am failing his brother. But I celebrate? The nerve

Not really. But I owe my boys a dinner. Didn’t I mention I hate math? But if my calculations are correct… Dubious maybe. I can afford an Emergence Day dinner.

Twenty-four days after the fact. And what is Twenty-four reversed? Forty-two. I hate being forty-two. Hell, the fact of the matter is I hated day one. Hence eff Emergence Day!

And the day after. I’ll go to a movie. Remember meeting B’s Favorite Girl? Memories.

Which Emergence Day was that? I can’t recall. But that day I felt up Special K as we watched “Twilight: Eclipse.” And then I actually left the house to go see “Nerve” and meet Braxton’s Favorite Girl. Or she would be about six months later. Braxton found her quite entertaining as he barked his head off. Sophia, speaking about entertainment…

More books! Have I left any money for books? And I missed another Kindle Double Points Day. How many books are in the “Pledged To Him” series? “Ryan and His Beauties” came out with a third. And, hell, Lady Sophia, I’m still reading Dystopian Girls 6? Or flipping pages to keep the streak because The Unfinished Archive is SO captivating.

Entertained? V, Will, B, Entertained

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

2063 Days Without B III, Day 1504 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 084 -Damage Report, Levels B-V-

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Wednesday, September 23, 2026

Legacy 084 -Damage Report, Levels B-V-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I woke up twice. I’m here. “I never yielded! And as you can see, I am not dead.”

“No. It’s foolish to ask for luxuries in times like these.”
― The Road (2009)

Wishful thinking at its finest, my dear Inspector. But shall we begin with the evaluation?

Physically, my heart hurts. That’s a fucked up thing for me to say, considering my Ma and my boys’ potential future stepmom. Talk about heart problems. But I swear, I feel it. My heart is broken. And the physical exertion, the stress, every beat is lesser than the overall remembrance that Braxton is gone and I’m failing Virgil, Inspector, always.

Honestly, my left eye is still irritated… hurts now and again. For a few minutes I felt I was going blind during the truck unload—terrifying prospect, The Blindness, Inspector.

I nearly got crushed by a pile of boxes… Dammit, can’t the Grim Reaper do anything right these days, Inspector?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

This leads me to the mental. Braxton knows I could go into talking to him, my dead furry son. I talked to his brother too. Virgil is back in my good graces… No shit, Sherlock.

Literally. I’m talking to you—the fictional hot police detective. You’re based on “Carla Valenti” from Indigo Prophecy/Fahrenheit if you’re curious. Oh, and The Unfinished Archive… Delusion, Fiction, hell, a bit fucked up. It all makes my head hurt. Ouch!

And the first thing I did when I got back. Well, since I can’t take my head off. Uh, what?

Yeah, I have something in the drawer, but instead I slept. Passed out? Quite accurate.

Inspector, as the song asks, “Where Is My Mind?” Guess is as good as mine.

Why? I remember. I “Woke Up This Morning” and got myself a… Nope! A “Bloom.”

Inspector, I needed something so I could at least text M Anime coherently. I was almost late for the Day Job: exhaustion, Heat, and a Stomachache. I forgot a Gatorade; M Anime and her electrolytes. I didn’t take Virgil out. I failed my son, but he didn’t poop or worse… Of course my playlist is always hit or miss at the Day Job. Today’s offender was The Cure’s Love Song. First, I was looking for 311’s version. Secondly women… Scary.

Lastly, the most embarrassing moment. The pallet jack got stuck in a tiny pallet, and who took the blame? Everything I touch gets damaged. M Anime? Damage Report, Levels B-V

2061 Days Without B III, Day 1502 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will