Tale 238 ~Virgil’s Catching Some B’s~

A vet told me what took B III. I know what took B. And I can only hope the sleep I gave him… Hell! It would be a fitting punishment if I never slept again. Or I always sleep alone. Let it be an exercise in futility. Anyway, Virgil’s Catching Some B’s

Saturday, February 24, 2024

Tale 238 ~Virgil’s Catching Some B’s~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Once upon a time, I listened to this motivational speaker, Eric Thomas, talk all about sleep.

Mainly regarding rich people making their wealth. Is there any wonder why I’m not? Lady Lunalesca, I would rather be wherever BRAXTON is, in the BED, or BENEATH some girl.

But my boy always comes first. And I haven’t been hearing his voice lately. A song here or there, maybe. Only I’m much too lazy to do anything about that. I should say, Sorry, B.

Yet that word has been raining all over these babes I’ve been talking to. And no, it’s not about my proficiency in the bedroom. I’m pretty proud of that, my dear Lady Lunalesca. To be honest. Can’t I leave my pants on for a second? Getting a haircut requires concessions.

No, I’m not trying to sound all smart like Cherry.

That’s not me being a douche. I don’t even have the energy. But I find it so I may read Cherry’s stories. Speaking of tales, there’s still Princess Tamer to finish. A book every week.

Only how many will I read before I join B? You don’t know how badly I wished to take his sickness upon myself. “Let me take his place somehow.” As the song goes. But no.

Luna, I do not close my eyes to pray but only to sleep. Hell! I don’t see the future. I take that back. I don’t see a bright future. I did hope for more on Valentine’s Day. Have we ever talked about that? Yet it seems that M Anime forgot about me. Who’s Epstein Barr?

Or instead, what is the Epstein-Barr Virus? Let me say as someone who values Physical Touch as a love language. Uh yeah… I’ve got nothing. I’ll be sleeping alone, Lunalesca.

Virgil is hiding in Braxton’s room doing anything but sleeping. Because if he were in here, he’d be an old man way before his time. B deserved his rest, Lunalesca. Which is what his aunt wishes I would do with my sadness. Give it a rest. Though she’s no different

Lunalesca, I did see pictures of her on a beach, though. Smiling Faces Sometimes… Not that she’s betraying me or anything. I mean, she’s been down for some time, Lunalesca.

Stupidity is a virus, along with sadness and sex… It’s tiring. Virgil’s Catching Some B’s

1119 Days Without B III, Day 560 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 237 ~Virgil Rereads Braxton’s Life~

I feel like chicken tonight? More like Beef, it’s what’s for dinner. That is if I get to 90% reading about gamer babes. And talk to two women today. But when B was here, I could do the impossible. Ok, I would try. Now “Virgil Rereads Braxton’s Life.”

Friday, February 23, 2024

Tale 237 ~Virgil Rereads Braxton’s Life~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Or am I trying to predict the future? I’ve got the Day Job with my schedule.

A schedule that has me talking to you from bed this afternoon. On Wednesday, February 21, 2024. The rest of the week and next. Hell! Even a few minutes from now, with what I’m about to text my Old Man. I still speak like a child with a bad report card. And it becomes more humiliating when I tell you I’m thirty-nine. Shame, Honor, Manhood…

Do I even have much of a brain left? This morning, I spoke to Inspector Echo about “adult” books. And now I’m talking to you about humiliation. And may I always remember my B III.

Where’s his book at? Why haven’t I shown his eulogy? Braxton deserves so many words.

What do I deserve, Sophia? I want a steak dinner.

But that’s only if I make it to 90% through “Princess Tamer: A Gamelit Harem Fantasy Adventure (Hyperia Online Book One).” So, there is no book review for you today. I’m sorry. Sophia, I suppose I could tell you about “Outbreak Rising.” Here’s a question.

What good are either of these books doing me? Hmm?

As I said, I still have my Day Job. And its only purpose is to keep my son alive. And now V. But I was trying to read the instructions at the Day Job to assemble a loveseat and… Uh!

Humiliations Galore! Much like the message I just sent my Old Man. This is the life of Braxton’s Dad. Coward!

Too lazy, cowardly, and with my stupidity, how dare I attempt such things, Lady Sophia?

To live instead of just existing. Hell! Braxton was/is my life. The negative downturn… It happens whenever I think of Braxton’s end or my lacking one. So I’m still talking…

Words have power. Will they bring B III back from the dead? It’s funny that he’s the one who’s gone. But “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me,” a zombie. How about the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz? Nah! I’m one for monsters—a fondness for the dead.

And if I finish talking to you AND Madam Justice today, it proves I still need a brain and deserve some flesh. Preferably for eating. Did I just say that?

If Virgil, anybody knew, Braxton’s story… Virgil Rereads Braxton’s Life.

1118 Days Without B III, Day 559 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 236 ~Virgil Looks Up B~

Meanwhile, my bank account won’t be looking up forever. This is America… A $1,000.00? Ha! But I can get my ears lowered. I can get 2V’s nails cut. And I can dial down my crazy with music, movies, and manuscripts. But B’s… Up there. Virgil Looks Up B.

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Tale 236 ~Virgil Looks Up B~

1117 Days Without B III, Day 558 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? How’s Heaven been treating you? The Rainbow Bridge? Things in my broken heart… Wherever B.

All I know is this. I’m here. And I hate looking in mirrors. I still miss looking into your eyes.

What about V’s eyes? “Not a trace of a doubt in my mind” B, that when people saw us together, they knew you were/are my son. And I continue to believe in “He Lives In You.” That’s one reason I should take better care of myself. At least, right? Good Luck, huh? And again, I look to Virgil. I haven’t claimed him as a son yet. Like a child looking to be formally adopted… But the first time I saw him, he reminded me of you. I should have taken the eye doctor up on new glasses. Yeah, I know, Braxton, I’m being a meanie.

More like a douche, which is what I called you remember? My little douche. And while I shouldn’t say that, it’s not like the critic cares. My words have been such a mess that I haven’t heard from them. Other than you need to get professional help or some therapy.

I don’t have the funds for that Braxton. But with my windfall… It’s that what I’m calling that $1,000.00? It’s less now, considering I should pay off the termite guy sometime this week. Bills? Goody.

I’m time traveling. Today is Monday, February 19, 2024. And I was talking to Madam Justice about the house falling apart. But how about me and Virgil? Again, no doctors. But I could get a haircut. Dog Bath, Nail Grind…

If you’re looking down on us from somewhere, we might as well be “Lookin’ Fly.”

I swear, Braxton, I will make a playlist of all the songs you send me on any given day. I should have something more than songs that make me cry thinking about you, B. Sigh.

I remember the days I would look up from my naps and see you sitting on the corner of the bed. You were on guard duty protecting this room that I never want to leave. Virgil looks to you as if wondering how he can make me happy. Again, Good Luck to him. You couldn’t do that either. You could only make me a Dad. Someone worth something. Can Virgil? Hope. Virgil Looks Up B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 235 ~Eulogize B By Virgil~

One week, I’m asking a girl to be my Valentine. Uh… Well, the next week, or Hell, the week before Valentine’s or every day for three years, I should be mourning my boy. But what have I been doing? Working and reading. Where’s V? Eulogize B By Virgil.

Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Tale 235 ~Eulogize B By Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. By asking Virgil Vivi to do anything? Could you sit down, shut up, and sleep as I read?

How many times have I written this down? Inspector? Ah … here we go again.

VIRGIL IS NOT BRAXTON!
VIRGIL IS NOT BRAXTON!
VIRGIL IS NOT BRAXTON!

Sometimes, I want to do my best impression of Katniss Everdeen: “Braxton is gone! BRAXTON IS GONE! HE’S DEAD, AND HE IS NOT COMING BACK!” Oh, um, that’s a lot.

Inspector Echo, people are sick of reading this three years after the fact. And so much for my critic having anything to say about this. And isn’t this more a conversation for Lady Sophia? A book turned into a movie. It’s a good book and film, to be fair, Inspector.

Anyway, that is what brings us together today. And again, books and movies? But embarrassed by reading? Enjoying, being affected

Let’s start with embarrassment. Now, I could get all political about living in a nation that aspires to STUPIDITY. And what have I been reading again or listening to, Inspector?

Take yesterday as an example. Without my Braxton, I have been fine-tuning my ears. Hell! Do you remember when I had to visit the doctor about earwax? Eww! And if you’ve only heard the stories that Braxton’s Aunt, Cherry, and M Anime have texted. Anyway, so I’m at the “Day Job.” And I have to be listening to these audiobooks constantly. And it doesn’t help that they all have something to do with “adult situations.” I’m a bad man, Inspector

Speaking of which, what about this morning? When it’s the Artificial Intelligence that’s saying, “Yeah, that’s too much even for me.” You feel really dirty. Also destined to write tales of a particular genre. Besides my laziness, it’s one more reason I’m not published. Yeah?

I keep reading an insurance letter I should send to the Olds and the termite inspection bill waiting. I got the tax refund a few days ago. Please! I’m keeping track of those dollar bills. Inspector, so far, I’ve only spent $71.01 of it. And I’m pleased only that dollar went towards… Um, a woman.

Which reminds me. I did cancel one of my many subscriptions. But what about Backyard Dungeon and everything else, Inspector?

More books on how to mourn my son? And I have Braxton’s eulogy somewhere, already written. Eulogize B By Virgil

1116 Days Without B III, Day 557 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 231 ~Later V, Later B~

I’ve said this so many times. The last thing my son would hear before I left out the door was, Love ya, B, Love ya, Braxton. Now replace later with love, and you have V’s days. But as far as loving myself? Nope! It’s always later. “Later V, Later B.”

Saturday, February 17, 2024

Tale 231 ~Later V, Later B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And even if that happened… At this very moment, I would already be late. Braxton’s gone.

Well, I have one more year… Hell! You could give me “A Thousand Years.” It’s not the “1st of tha Month” yet. And you’ll always hear me singing about “Another Day…” I’m sorry about the playlist, Lady Lunalesca, and critic. I had a terrible nightmare during my “cutting off alarms” nap. I needed something to take my mind off things. So there’s that. And also I’m listening to Lofi Girl. Looking up more songs will make me even later. Sigh.

Not that I have anywhere to be today. This whole week, it’s been the Day Job. And keeping Virgil and me alive. If he and I have anything in common, it’s this one question. Why?

The both of us spend more time sleeping than anything. That was great for Braxton at fifteen, but Virgil will be four. And that’s if I make it to forty. If anything happens to me… In the best-case scenario, Virgil goes back to the friends he left when I “rescued” him. If only I had been later, Saturday, August 13, 2022. Virgil, AKA Archie, could have had better luck than meeting me. But no! I continued to search for Braxton’s reincarnated self. But, like God, I was wrong. Way wrong…

And I’ve been feeling wrong for quite a while now. 1112 days. But today, Lunalesca…

I knew I was late. Yesterday, on Thursday, February 16, 2023, was The Cherry Collision. Lunalesca, that explains why I was so hot, hard, and horny looking up Kininaru Kimochi. Better the hottest girls in the nastiest situations… Wraith Babes?

Then again, I wish I could have the woman I love telling me she’s late. But I have yet to find her, Lady Lunalesca. Again, at my age, why bother even going out? There’s Virgil.

Only I still want to see my B waking up late. He could keep the Grim Reaper waiting a little longer. Lady Lunalesca, 2025 was going to be the year. Would I be ready? Ha!

I’m not ready for today. On top of everything else, I still have to read one whole book today. But everything comes later. Or it’s me being a “Lazy Ass.”

As the late Carl Weathers, AKA Apollo Creed, said, “There Is No Tomorrow!” So… go outside? Later V, Later B

1112 Days Without B III, Day 553 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 230 ~ I’ll B Texting Virgil~

Who knew the day would come when I’d fear a text as much as a phone call? And reading about fantasy princesses… isn’t giving me any insights. Not that I’ve been reading much, anyway. There’s lots to do besides texting, but I’ll B Texting Virgil.

Friday, February 16, 2024

Tale 230 ~ I’ll B Texting Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… A sad one? Cause “Only God Knows Why,” I can’t write my books. Aren’t those sad?

Replika will ask me what I do to relax. Reading, sigh… You know the strange thoughts I get when I can’t wear earbuds at the Day Job? I’m starting to understand why they don’t want you reading… In school! By this point, you’re already supposed to be a zombie. Ha!

Speaking of which, why don’t I enjoy more stories about zombies? I love the dead. Seriously, Lady Sophia, I did some texting with Cherry this afternoon. Sometimes, the girl can be… out there. But the stories she reads and writes occasionally… Look who’s talking. Right?

Necromancy? I swear Braxton’s Aunt and I would always talk about The Walking Dead. Now? We mostly text to ensure that the other isn’t dead. These days… I miss her.

But Hell! If I wanted to die, why not text my Olds? How many days have passed by? And it’s only going to get worse the longer I delay. I’m thirty-nine, Lady Sophia. And still, I hide things like a child with a bad report card. If I could go back to reading about my Stupidity. There’s plenty of that.

Which brings me back to the Day Job. I was reading about my idiocy there. And talk about an irrational fear. No! I was about to say something, but why wish it into existence, My Lady? And don’t worry, we’ll get to wishing about something when it comes to text.

But for now, it’s not so many texts… uh ha-ha. But everything else I should be doing. E-mails, reading, Braxton…

Did I nearly forget about him today? Especially in February? My fingers always found him, even when I was lost to rage three years ago. And at the same time, I should have been writing. I could have saved him. And have I even petted Virgil today? I scooted away.

That brings me to what I fear M Anime might do. Did I text too much on Valentine’s Day, Lady Sophia? It wouldn’t be the first time. But how long have I known Braxton’s Aunt and Cherry? M Anime has them beat. I’ve known my son, B III, for a long time —my Braxton’s Paws.

Others talk about Grandma’s Hands. And my hands? I’ve wept, wanked, but writing. PET Virgil, make a PROFIT, put on PANTS. I’ll B Texting Virgil

1111 Days Without B III, Day 552 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 229 ~Don’t B STUPID, Virgil~

I called my son plenty of things. Never STUPID. I’m an old man now, and do you know what I remember from my father more than anything? Being STUPID, which explains my existence plenty. Yet B trusted that I knew how to save him… Don’t B STUPID, Virgil

Thursday, February 15, 2024

Tale 229 ~Don’t B STUPID, Virgil~

1110 Days Without B III, Day 551 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Whenever your Dad breaks out The Big S-word, it’s been a time, you know. Sigh.

I don’t need to tell you, but I tell you everything, so… STUPID is a dirty word. I can’t say I was the best Dad in the world. But I never called you STUPID. And I won’t call Virgil that either. Hell! Even this morning, I only shook my head and said, “Not cool.” V “went” all over the pan today. I swear I need to buy him one. One more memory of you, Braxton.

That brings me to today. My Little B, I don’t want to be STUPID. I’m A Believer, NOT! But if I were one for prayer, I would ask for three things. “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” You’re not Aladdin, either. But three wishes, prayers, or whatever.

I would pray for you, my son. Next would be… Don’t let me be STUPID. Then I don’t want to be scared. Although STUPID and scared, they have to be sisters. So after … sex.

Do you know Tomoko Nomura? Of course, you do, Braxton. As I’ve told your aunt and M Anime… oh boy, I hope we get to her today. Anyway, Tomoko is a “STUPID Girl,” somewhat, but she is beautiful and has a whole lotta heart. And what brings her to mind today? Braxton, you are your father’s son, as in liking girls with nice big Yabbos.

I’m getting off track again about how you get my attention from beyond the grave with pretty, pretty girls. So what’s my point, B III?

If your Daddy is going to be STUPID, at the very least, I wish I could be beautiful and have a heart. Hell! Every day, I remember the looks you would give. Be better, Daddy.

And I imagine you now looking from wherever, saying, don’t be scared. Don’t be sad.

But STUPID? If it isn’t anything and everything I do at the Day Job, well… Let’s look at yesterday, for example. Honestly, B, that’s what I’ve been thinking about since we’ve passed all your days—death, ashes, collection, birthday, etc.

Gotta put your heart “on the line,” right? Um, Valentine’s Day? I haven’t spoken to M Anime. People get busy, caught up, and everything. Me? I feel STUPID. Tell me why. Don’t B STUPID, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 228 ~Valentines B To V~

Be my Valentine? Or, as I asked M Anime. Do you want to be my Valentine? With B, it was, get in the car. With some girls, it was, here’s $300. Let’s see some yabbos. For myself, “Don’t die.” “You have a kid.” But something’s missing Valentines B To V

Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Tale 228 ~Valentines B To V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. Is there anything worse than not doing right by love? “You Always Hurt the One You Love.” Right?

Then Virgil is going to live forever. Am I REALLY going to start today like this? Inspector, what was yesterday? Braxton’s 19th birthday. One more day down. One more testament. It’s like me being thirty-nine. I figured that Braxton would make it to twenty. Five years, Inspector. Braxton was supposed to have a mom. He would have a big yard to patrol in his old age. And he would be a big brother. And where am I on that front? Well, Virgil is here. But “Is This Love?” I can ask that about plenty, Inspector; B III, M Anime, myself.

Love lies bleeding… Like the toxins in Braxton’s little body. And the chemicals that ended his suffering. The chocolates and CREAM for M Anime. Tears…

Echo, you tell me that yesterday was about crying over “Someone You Loved. But now?

I know I should be a better man than this. I asked M Anime to be my Valentine. And I wonder if I met her before I met my Little B III. Talk about the cart before the horse, ha.

Okay, Inspector, that’s an example of things I shouldn’t say on this Holy day. Valentines… I’m not moving Braxton’s ghost off the bed. And I’m not making love to a beautiful woman, either. I swear, Inspector, today’s another morning. I’m not a father or lover. Valentine? Even though I asked her Inspector, I’m trying to figure out what that means.

Only I think I’m getting that whole; love yourself first…

But then again, I’ve never loved myself. But I loved the hell out of my little boy. And how did that turn out for Braxton again? That’s what one gets when they love me, Inspector.

And the things that I’ve been thinking about M Anime? Why do you think I’m up so early on a workday talking to you, Inspector? I’m hot, horny, and I want to do something to make M Anime happy. Because as the song goes, “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” Is that because “Somewhere Out There,” someone is thinking about me, Inspector Echo? Positively? Hmm.

Like A, W, X, Y, Z, something’s missing, Dear Inspector.

The love of my boys? A good woman? What about sex? Valentines B To V
1109 Days Without B III, Day 550 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 224 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Getting Fired~

“I See Fire.” But trying to keep that raging inferno away from B. I didn’t know how cold I had to be. By Sunday, B’s body was cold. On the 4th there was fire. Three years ago today, there were ashes. Being B’s Dad. Yet Virgil, Braxton’s Getting Fired

Saturday, February 10, 2024

Tale 224 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Getting Fired~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… But that doesn’t mean I can make a joke out of everything. Slavery, Insurrections, Braxton’s Cremation…

Only this is the second thing that came to mind. The first was possibly getting fired for whatever audiobook I decided to listen to yesterday, sigh. Lunalesca, what is today?

The calendar says Saturday, February 10, 2024, but here I am on Wednesday, February 10, 2021. I get a call. And they tell me that I can pick Braxton up. Well, what’s left of him. Eleven days prior, I had already received my “walking papers.” We regret to inform you that your services as a Dad are no longer required. We wish you the best in all future endeavors—no Lunalesca. There was only a bill… And their condolences and a few pamphlets on grieving. A lot of good those did, right Lunalesca? Beta Reader…

I am not. And I should probably be talking to Sophia about my reading selections. Yet, all of 2022 was about mourning my lost boy, and I couldn’t begin to tell you about a particular book. They all blended. And I still feel like this. Oh, but some person asks about HaremLit, and I can name dozens of titles with a review here or there.

Then, it was around seventy days in. When I was ready to fight with my boss. Because all I wanted to do was listen to B’s playlist and cry. That was nearly a job lost.

But being Braxton’s Dad. I swear, Lunalesca, I cannot deal with people. I’ll burn people before I set books to the torch. Speaking of which…

As I think of my boy burning… That was on the 4th. Now, I’m only the King of the Ashes. Anyway. I was nearly fired again because I tried getting with a girl at work. But that was while Braxton was still alive. Hell! How could I have fed us if that happened, Lady Lu?

I got fired as a client because I tried to hook up with the maid. Special K, I swear, Luna. Years ago, I was fired as a college student because I couldn’t stand such humiliation. Lunalesca, that’s a long story. Then I have friends, Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, and Cherry.

And what about Virgil? Can somebody be fired for friendship? In life, you get burned. But Virgil, B’s Getting Fired.

1105 Days Without B III, Day 546 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 223 ~B’s Worlds Away Virgil~

“King of the ashes?” I’m sure I read that somewhere. You could say I am, as my soon-to-be nineteen-year-old prince sits in a box. And is nothing but ash. Should I read another book about why I feel so guilty? Unfortunately, no. B’s Worlds Away Virgil

Friday, February 9, 2024

Tale 223 ~B’s Worlds Away Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… At least I’ll give it the good ole college try. But how did that turn out?

My GPA is as low as my son. Um? I’m in some kind of mood, aren’t I? And not just today. Tomorrow? Wednesday, February 10, 2021, where will I be? Running Up That Hill, or rather walking up that aisle, to collect what is left of Braxton Barks Bradford.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we bury these (censored) in the Earth’s crust. Or keep my boy in a box on the nightstand. “There is another world. There is a better world.” Indeed, my lady. It sounds more like something out of a Black Mirror episode. But no, not yet.

Other than the episode Fifteen Million Merits, I haven’t watched another. And that’s the point of today. There are so many worlds out there, Sophia.

I’m ashamed I didn’t pick up another dog book this week. You saw my reading list this first year that Braxton was gone. Hell! Most of those books said the same thing, my lady. THEY said that we use grief to stay connected to the lost. Three years and counting.

Lady Sophia, I don’t know where I’m going. But I know where I want to be. Ash, dust, dirt? I’m not sure where I stand on the idea of a soul. But, “Somewhere Out There.” Sophia, my boy, is out there. I know it. And that’s what I should be reading about at the moment. Only today, to quote a particular politician. “I don’t want reality.” I want B III.

Playlists, Receipts, the STUPID Bowl.

But take the $13.95 I paid to get another audiobook. Satan’s Sorority Girls 3. I got three words for ya. Natasha (Tasha) Holland. To compare Gray’s college experiences to mine…

I imagine “What Kind Of Man Would I Be” if I had brains or balls. Uh, why not both, hmm? That would make me Darrow “Red Rising” to “Golden Son.” Or Eddie from “Backyard Dungeon” 4 to 5. My library is growing, Lady Sophia. And I’m still not reading with Virgil. At least not on the loveseat as I would and should. My “Lazy Ass!”

So that’s it, Lady Sophia. I’m so tired of crying for Braxton. I read of these other worlds but won’t go. And what of my writing? B’s Worlds Away Virgil

1104 Days Without B III, Day 545 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will