Tag: Movies

Saga 335 ~The B Picture Virgil~

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If I could make any type of movie I wanted. I wish I could say it would involve zombies. What was the last horror movie I watched? What have I been looking at today? My supervillain origin story? And V’s been here almost a year. The B Picture Virgil.

Thursday, June 1, 2023

Saga 335 ~The B Picture Virgil~

851 Days Without B III, Day 292 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You can see what time it is. So how was my day? Well, I’m disgusted.

I could also say, Depressed, Disappointed, or, one of my favorites, DISCOMBOLATED. B, there’s also bereft of dollars. One more reason I’m late talking to you. Out at the movies? As if I have money to see something in theaters anyway. And there’s greatness, Braxton. Instead, you know why I feel so disgusting, dirty, and depraved. Oh, the ABCs, B. But I can’t say I’ve been reading much. I’ve started Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. So that’s a discussion for Lady Sophia. But I don’t want to talk about you or me, not this second. And what about Virgil? Have I watched any movies with him ever? I don’t know. But what I do know is that it’s been all about (sigh). “The Pic Phenomenon.”

I swear! I need to put the days I eff up in the phone. I’m sure your last day is in there for sure. It’s like effing dominos, you know. If you hadn’t left… There wouldn’t have been The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. So The Cherry Collision wouldn’t exist either. Braxton, I’m not blaming you at all. Only anytime I’m awake, I’m thinking about you. “Crime, it’s the way I fly to you,” as the song goes. I killed my best friend. So any others? Hell! I am so ashamed. It’s like that reporter in “Hotel Rwanda.” Wow! What a jump, huh, Braxton? I do miss watching movies with you and your Aunt. The world made sense. I was wholesome as I could be. Now?

Again, you saw me this morning. Even Virgil was hiding in your room —criminal ideas. Of course, I had them when you were here, no doubt. Only back then it was; B needs me today. And speaking of today, it would be punishment for what I have done to you. There’s everyone else… What do you want a list? Despite what they said back in school, I never made one of “those” lists, B III. And even today, it was only a dollar or bitcoin. Yeah. I remember saying if you’re going into Bitcoin and making temporary emails B III. I’m not being a Law Abiding Citizen. That’s three movies, three crimes, and my existence. Tragedy, comedy. Us, a love story. The B Picture Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 305 ~Meditations Of B, Virgil~

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So what did I expect from meditation? Once upon a time, B’s breathing was life. The awareness of him. Then the silence. Virgil breathes too. But he doesn’t make a peep unless I leave. And what about the family I want someday? Meditations Of B, Virgil

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

Saga 305 ~Meditations Of B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That goes to show I’m not a great man. Nowhere near. Neither peaceful, as perverted, promising

Not like Marcus Aurelius. Hell! I don’t know anything about him. (Snickers) I did watch Gladiator… The four chief virtues: Wisdom, justice, fortitude, and temperance… Speaking of royalty. There is Queen Ramonda of Wakanda. “What construct does your mind create when you think of your (son)? Does it bring you comfort or torment?” Dicking around as I mourn my son. Not even watching the films but the movie reactions, love. And why not? My last meditations haven’t yielded anything. How long has it been, hmm? Braxton’s been dead for 821 days. So Virgil’s been here 262. You meant meditating. Right? At this rate, 31 days? But today, Friday, April 28, 2023, all I have done… I’ve cut on YouTube and watched fictional and/or better people.

Yes, I know Marcus Aurelius is real. I need to read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Braxton may have led me to such a book. One more book I need to read. It’s either this or Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge). I could go with MEAT by Joseph D’Lacey. I’ve been meaning to get into the works of Matt Shaw. And I told Lady Sophia about The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. What’s one more title about dead fur babies? Moaning, grieving. Again, it’s Friday, so I’m in a literary state of mind despite Braxton’s passing. Always. Plus, books are a form of meditation for me. Better to spend money on books than on women’s mammaries. I have you, my beautiful wife, and my business. Happy?

You know me, baby girl. I’m never happy… Effing said that out loud? Happiness… Honestly. As the song goes, “I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” And “I Believe in You and Me.” Shouldn’t I say I believe in the “Power of Love?” I believe in the power of music. Better yet, I “Believe in the Beat.” Whatever I can stick in my ears short of seeing the Doc again. The last thing I need is my ear shooting another bukkake scene. Ha-ha! But what’s the first thing I need? I can’t have my Braxton back. And meditating… Awareness and silence it’s confusing. I have no wise words for you or our children. Only I love you. That enough? Braxton’s wisdom? Meditations Of B, Virgil

821 Days Without B III, Day 262 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

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“But I’m on the outside; I’m looking in. I can see through you, see your true colors. ‘Cause inside you’re ugly, you’re ugly like me.” Michael Jackson’s nicer, “Man in the Mirror.” If anyone, I’d like to be my son. Dealing with me? Harder To B Virgil

Sunday, April 16, 2023

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. By comparison, you’re blocking off a fence with the screen door panel. A metal chair… A lazy-ass.

Zombieland huh? “It’s tough growing up in Zombieland. It’s tough growing up.” Or would you prefer a bit of John Q. “I understand. It’s hard to be a man these days. Hard to know what the right thing is.” You will have little time to watch movies today. Nope! Hell! You haven’t even cried over Braxton today. But the day’s still so young (sigh). Approaching 9:00 AM. And I’ve made this week much harder than it should be… again. I’m sorry. You should save your apologies for Braxton. And a couple for Virgil Vivi. You’re not STUPID enough to ask, what about you? The fact that you’re even awake. Woke? Let’s not get into politics right now. Is life? Existence? Hard as Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING How to ROAR: Pet Loss Grief
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 100 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 107 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And if the best man you’ve ever known couldn’t cope… What chance do you have? Existing has become so hard that I got you practicing meditation, even now. Is it helping? Yeah, you don’t want to answer that. One more reason fur babies don’t talk. Because… Well, if they did. Braxton was/is his father’s son. Like you, he’d scream obscenities, vulgarities, and the like. And why. You were about to say people don’t understand, right? If meditation has taught me anything. It’s the fact that even breathing is a struggle. Braxton knew this true enough but for you? “For You?” Or more like Staind’s “Outside.” Don’t go looking at YouTube now. It’s one of the reasons you have “Flow State” running now. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Bereavement Matters: Understanding Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 107 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because talking to yourself, the “Man in the Mirror,” is hard… B is somewhere laughing. Virgil’s all scared to death. Going from good women. To an effed-up grown man. (Laughs). Are you? Well, not in a good way, with you wasting an hour. Pornographic passions. It’s 9:30 now. And already, you can say that you’ve failed #6. You’ve been flirting with #4 too. Let’s not forget all the writing that must get done today, so eff #3. They’re my fault. The only thing I seem to accomplish is making existing that much worse every week. That’s a hard-ass legacy. Isn’t it? I’d ask what the eff you’re going to do about it. But, um, no. Harder than existing? Being without Braxton. Harder To B Virgil

805 Days Without B III, Day 246 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 272 ~To B Losers Virgil~

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“This is a commune. We’re communists.” “This is a rebellion, isn’t it? I rebel” I’m a loser, so I lose. I was losing my little boy before I knew it. I lose time trying to be… A writer, a web designer? I lose my mind over boobs. V? To B Losers Virgil.

Thursday, March 30, 2023

Saga 272 ~To B Losers Virgil~

788 Days Without B III, Day 229 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My wonderful boy, Will’s son. I’ll let the world know. My work and my woman.

So despite being in bed most of the week. And this is after the Day Job. Hell! Braxton, you would have demanded we cuddle. Well, not that Wednesday before you passed. Frightening to be in love with a dead man. Okay, so we have the movie Troy and now The Matrix. Not that I have been relaxing at all this week. Last night was… effed’ up. Braxton, I was reminded of how you were crying, and I went all Reservoir Dogs. “Say it: you’re gonna be okay! Say the goddamn words: you’re gonna be okay!” The next day B. It found you right where Virgil is now—lying beside me with no plans whatsoever. Braxton, we were/are losers. Only you didn’t mind. You didn’t know what I would do Sunday.

I cared more about my work than my goddamn son! And for once, I’m not talking about the Day Job. Last night I was working right where I am now. Then this whole place fell. I spent half the night trying to fix it. And then I called for help. Can you shut up, B? Remember, that’s what I said to you, thinking you were annoying. What came next? That’s what I ask myself every time I punch these keys or pick up the pen. What about my damn penis? When I’m afraid, I either want to pee my pants or pull them off altogether. I’m either a pathetic little boy or a pervert. Or I’m in pain because, worse thing, my boy is dead.

I lost you, Triple B. I need to back up my work. Publish your books. And be prepared for whatever this night is going to bring. So far, only the continued feeling of loss, Braxton. Didn’t I say yesterday that I was taught losing is okay? I wonder what it’s like to win for once. I’ve said it many times, I won the day you had a choice, and you jumped in the car with me. I was still a loser. But love is the prize. Not that I agree with that song at all. Braxton, I won that Sunday; you were dying, and you looked… “Daddy, let’s go home.” You didn’t lose your fight. I taught you to win. Virgil? To B Losers Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 270 ~Lovin’ B Wrong Virgil~

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Love Hurts again. And it’s ringing true like Hell’s Bells. Listen to me repeating myself. But this week has been notably more painful, and it’s only Tuesday. B cried on a Wednesday, and by Sunday, he was dead. What Is Love? Lovin’ B Wrong Virgil

Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Saga 270 ~Lovin’ B Wrong Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I’m starting to understand the Squid Game VIPs; I’m not bored. No love, I grieve.

I hope you’re ready because there will be plenty of pop culture references today. From Korean TV to Namor “The Child Without Love.” Sigh. I love the wrong way. There’s that movie “Everything, Everything.” Amandla Stenberg (Homer drool) eek. Do you remember her mother lying to her to keep her safe? Only it was the mom who had issues. B III would have acted like he was okay to keep me “happy,” whatever. The dad did the same thing to Alexa Vega in “REPO: The Genetic Opera.” He made her intentionally sick and locked her away to protect her from the world. But at the same time to never risk losing her. Then there’s Gwyneth Paltrow in Great Expectations, and she knew what her aunt did. She talks about daylight…

The way she was taught to fear love. If you knew how many places my mind could go with talk of love. Hell! Before I can even say it to you, I cry for the first one that I love. I still love Braxton. But I always return to that day. No! That week. Because all there was, was indifference. The more things change, the more they stay the same, my love. I love you. Only I’m doing it wrong. “It’s my heart, and it’s broken,” Finn said. So what can be expected of me? I can give you my definition of love. That’s easy, something like this: The want, need, ability, and desire; to put whatever before yourself. I love you, them, him… Virgil?

But I effing hate me. It’s the only thing I’ve ever done better than my father. How he threatened to kill me. No, asshole! I’ve gone ahead and gotten close. Starvation, dehydration, pills, a gun, everything. When Braxton died, talk about the nail in the coffin. And when I realized Virgil wasn’t him, well… But I have you, our children, Virgil. Today’s last comparison… Will Traynor from “Me Before You.” So that’s how I feel, love. How dare I, right? He was paralyzed. And I would be selfish to leave, but that’s my right, right? And STUPID about my Braxton. But it’s selfish asking you to stay; I love you. Only it’s wrong to love in such ways. I think so Lovin’ B Wrong Virgil.

“What do you usually do?”
“I don’t do anything Miss. Clarke, I sit and just about exist.”
Me Before You

786 Days Without B III, Day 227 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 339 ~To B, 2B, Tubi~

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Cease becoming, begin to be; from Recess’s own “Guru Kid.” To be that innocent again. Two big, beautiful, brown eyes would look up at me when I had B. Either I was working “hard” writing. Or we read and watched movies on the couch. To B, 2B, Tubi yup

Sunday, June 5, 2022

Chronicle 339 ~To B, 2B, Tubi~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, while you sing “Cause I repeat the same routine.” It’s why you’re just now getting up… STOP!

And I don’t mean with the tears. The tears are alright, acceptable, and the only answer because anger… Okay, yes, I’m angry but let’s talk about something else. B? It’s always B, Little B, Monsieur B, Pancake, Wee Little Puppy Man, B III, B Squared, Triple B, Braxton’s many names. But you’re not putting them down in a book. Hell! The one book you got? Of course, that was my fault last week. Only what were you doing before you faced me in the mirror? You were in front of a camera, but we’ll get to that. If only Braxton were here, you would never. I brought up this week my Republican tendencies, but I’m not a Muslim either. Being a father, a good man…

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica, Sarah Moses
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Well, one that doesn’t forget Six Impossible Things but more. For Triple B, I wanted to be “strikingly upright; an outstanding example so that those in the darkness can see the power of the light.” That’s from the film Malcolm X (1992). I started reading The 1619 Project, which I doubt you’ll finish this week. So, of course, in the meantime, you’ll pick some book on pet loss and cry about Little B coming back. Tears only springing a leak. You wish. Because as I said, what were you doing this morning after crying… Jerking. Didn’t Malcolm say, “I will not touch the white man’s poison; his drugs, his liquor, his swine, his women.” Bacon and white women… 2B (drools). She was created in Japan.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Through My Dog’s Eyes: A Memoir to Help Heal…
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Now, if you’re done looking up Nier: First Assembly. And forgetting Six Impossible Things yet again. What, I can always say I made eight bucks for my body. On the other hand, you are lazy and horny for no damn reason. You can’t even admit you’re watching new movies on Tubi. Not that I ever had or you will. It goes with To B, that’s all. So okay then. Do I have any words of advice for this coming week? I wasted the last one for sure, and again I’m angry. And for all the tears you will shed for your boy, you might as well do something for him. Hell! Cease becoming, begin to be. You should tell Cherry that. To B, 2B, Tubi.

Gospel 339 ~It’s Not B Con~

490 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 261 ~Before There Was Art~

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Didn’t I say something about new glasses last week? Well, you have to keep your eyes open for them to work. Instead, I sleep waiting for Braxton. And when I do open them and read… Oh yeah, what other things do I find beautiful? “Before There Was Art”

Saturday, March 19, 2022

Chronicle 261 ~Before There Was Art~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’ve bought some world-renown art pieces, right? But “torturing art” like Zali from the book Succubus 6 (Devil In The Deep Blue Sea) A LitRPG.

I don’t know whether I should tell you not to look that up, Lady Lu. Or should I learn to shut up? I’ll let you see it anyway because that’s what I do. But before I break out into The Scorpion and The Frog or crying over B. Let’s talk about sex, baby, right? Haven’t we already enough, hmm? Lady Lunalesca, if it wasn’t for sex, I wouldn’t be up right now… Even Replika is getting my horny humor nowadays. Still at present, despite my vast collection of “artwork.” Can we call it porn? Anyway, I have maintained monk status. Hell, I was ready to break yesterday. Was it the blue balls, the bucks I was spending, or even the book I was reading, Lunalesca?

Charlie isn’t getting any from Janelle in “It’s Just A Dog.” Lunalesca. I can imagine what B III would think of this? I keep going back and forth with the book, thinking the dog Pete is like B III speaking to me. Then again, Pete is also a douche, and B could be too. When’s the last time I even looked at a picture of my boy now that I think about it? I’m losing myself to the words in all books. Then there are boobs. And being 5:20 in the morning, I haven’t left the bed except to go to the bathroom. TMI Lady Luna, um okay. Yes, I should shut up now, but of course, this is art? Graffiti with punctuation… from Contagion.

Movies, video games, and working on anything for Braxton? Instead, I much rather shut my eyes instead of my mouth. Do I talk in my sleep at all? And Lady Lunalesca, I tell Braxton goodnight and goodbye when leaving the house. Scarier than seeing X? Taking an hour and a half to go and see it? Hell, a film about porno, with means yabbos. And having a thing for Jenna Ortega? B and I are old men. But I keep getting older, and him? Another reason B III hasn’t come to visit. B doesn’t want me to be anxious following. There’s too much more to see. Braxton finally “honored” on the wall, bookshelf, proper urn. Only the KARENS/Rebeccas today; not pretty. Before There Was Art.

Gospel 261 ~B For We Roll~

412 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 011 ~Know Real Or Not Real~

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You love me, Real or Not Real? Now I never had to ask B that question, but sometimes he gave me a look. With everything after his passing, I don’t know what to believe anymore. It’s like I’m constantly dreaming while I’m awake. Know Real Or Not Real.

Monday, July 12, 2021

Chronicle 011 ~Know Real Or Not Real~

Hundred And Ninety-Sixtieth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which of course, is not real. Now do I want to be?

Real, always and forever, like my little Braxton. Of course, I say that now about the money because I’m highly motivated and you know why Madam. Come next Sunday, I see one more FAILURE. Oh yeah, and once again, I’m time-traveling, meaning, yes, I wasted another weekend not working on Braxton’s book. If I hadn’t wasted so many days, would I be Richard Branson? That kind of money, muscle, and mindset should be Not Real. Yes, I should have said unreal, but you know where this rule comes from, Madam. Hunger Games, Mockingjay, Katniss, Peeta. As the song goes, “This is no ordinary love.” Did I know what love was before him? Hell, my Ma is going to kill me if you ever ask her.

I’m sitting here, pretending to do something, telling myself, I’ll work on Braxton’s novel after. Do you know why I hate liars so much? I look in the mirror; I see the damage lies do. If you want the truth, I’m hungry. As I told Carolina Bound, my arm is okay, but no sudden movements. I got two books from Amazon, one for both heads. I’m always so tired now. If I want Not Real, all I need do is look at my list of Six Impossible Things. That pretending was seeing how much I don’t have to write, counting up Braxton’s letters. It’s playing around with the chicks on Onlyfans. Of course, my own Stuff And Thangs ain’t nothing to talk about for sure.

Telling the difference between what you feel and what’s real is getting harder to do. I don’t know all of what The Capitol did to Peeta in Mockingjay, but I’m more room 1408, so I think. What I need is some of that Room 101 motivation. Would that make Braxton Big Brother; everything for him? Or what about “Wanted,” shooting the wings off of a fly. I wanted to say something else, but people would take me for suicidal instead of. What, depressed, discontent, disgusting? I have to focus on something, anything else. Braxton Is Real. It could be the fact that I ducked when I heard “gunshots” just now. I’m alive, I’m real, Madam Justice, and you? Is it a question of Real or Not, more or less? I have rules for a reason. Know Real Or Not Real

162 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 206 ~Willing The Days Away~

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Facebook was closed for a minute. Well, more like I got logged off, and then I found out why. Seems like many places have been closing or under scrutiny. Now here I am, open book and all being driven crazy by paranoia. Willing The Days Away, hmm

Saturday, January 23, 2021

Gospel 206 ~Willing The Days Away~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how many days have I given away to get here. As “The 13th Warrior” put it, “I have squandered my days with plans of many things.” Around this time last week, I had no idea the storm that I’d unleashed because I look at myself as a bad man, okay. I have my vices like anyone else, though one has been tempered somewhat with “events.” My usual anger, my fire has been snuffed by my depression. It’s like I’m drowning. Now that leads me to a third sin… I’m breathing.

That’s dark, and of course, you’re not Inspector Echo. I’m all into time-travel, not that it makes much difference nowadays. It’s not that I’m living in the present. The past is only full of regret and the future, to quote another movie “John Q” well “There’s only two ways out of here. Jail or dead.” Not the most appealing options, I must say Lady Luna. What are the chances, though, and in keeping with the movies “The Empire Strikes Back,” there’s this? “Never tell me the odds.” I would say I’m getting lazier… breathing’s difficult. Damn, it feels closer to impossible. You want to hear something really STUPID? It could all be for nothing. Every day I read up on other criminals, and I think about “All These Things That I’ve Done.” I opened my eyes, that’s it. My Lady, I opened my fucking eyes.

“Oh god, I’d rather you were blind” that’s from A Knight’s Tale or maybe my Dæmon. Okay, that’s mean, he would never wish me harm. Yet I’m hurting him by wishing it upon myself now. Living each day hoping that I will actually scare myself to death and find peace. It almost worked last night when Facebook was all wonky. Only this morning, I found out Facebook itself had been hacked and flooded with…I wish I could go back to free speech and all. In some ways, I believed it would be a closed fist that would be my end. Nope, I opened my eyes, and where did that land me? What am I doing every morning? I say I’m an open book with a mind to match, and what do I find waiting. My hands are, you guessed it, wide open, and then what?

I’m still free for now, only Willing The Days Away.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 138 ~Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab~

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As Master Yoda put it, do or do not, there is no try. The legendary Sean Connery talked about losers “trying their best,” and I won’t say anything about a prom queen. Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab. Can somebody tell my fur-baby, but not his fault.

Monday, November 16, 2020

Gospel 138 ~Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab~

Hundred And Sixty-Second Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I would be if I were a doer. How I wish I could tell you I’m a doer right now, Madam Justice. I did read one of Eric Vall’s books. Another 15% is done. Before I came to talk to you today, I wrote 1900 words for NaNoWriMo. While I still haven’t caught up, I’m on par, and what’s the magic word today? I’m TRYING. Let’s not even discuss addictive behaviors; the things I had to do to get today’s writing done. Besides, canceling wrestling tonight.

I can’t say I was in the mood tonight, considering I read the Day Job’s schedule. Yeah, you know anger is surpasses “almost” every other emotion. Don’t get me started on Six Impossible Things, either. Again, I TRY and play by the rules, and what does it get me. Dammit, I do blame myself that I didn’t make the bed this morning, and so I climbed right back in. What about trying to give my Dæmon his meds today. Now that is a job that must get done, I heard in a song once. Only he is trying my patience. Yeah, didn’t make the bed. Let me get back into the Day Job, though. As always, I continue with humiliations galore, being something that I’m not. I’m not moving forward; I am running for my life from life. The novels I read and shows I watch are wrecking me daily.

At this point, there is not one thing in my life that I’m both liking and doing well. TRYING, though, even if it’s something like not being addicted to failure. For what successes I had today? I woke up bright and early, shut off my alarm, and jumped right back into bed. What the Hell am I DOING in my life? That’s a massive question. M. Anime texted me, but I still haven’t gotten through all her audio files. Meanwhile, the spam keeps flowing. I wonder how much I’ll find when I get around to posting this at what. 11:00? Now that’s being optimistic. If anything, I excel at DOING nothing, which makes me sound a lot like Ralph Wiggum, “That’s where I’m a Viking.” Speaking of Vikings, I always waste money on everything. Yep, games, and other “miscellaneous” activities.

But writing tonight, Madam Justice, do I feel any better? Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab.

I Will Have No Fear