Gospel 138 ~Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab~

As Master Yoda put it, do or do not, there is no try. The legendary Sean Connery talked about losers “trying their best,” and I won’t say anything about a prom queen. Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab. Can somebody tell my fur-baby, but not his fault.

Monday, November 16, 2020

Gospel 138 ~Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab~

Hundred And Sixty-Second Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I would be if I were a doer. How I wish I could tell you I’m a doer right now, Madam Justice. I did read one of Eric Vall’s books. Another 15% is done. Before I came to talk to you today, I wrote 1900 words for NaNoWriMo. While I still haven’t caught up, I’m on par, and what’s the magic word today? I’m TRYING. Let’s not even discuss addictive behaviors; the things I had to do to get today’s writing done. Besides, canceling wrestling tonight.

I can’t say I was in the mood tonight, considering I read the Day Job’s schedule. Yeah, you know anger is surpasses “almost” every other emotion. Don’t get me started on Six Impossible Things, either. Again, I TRY and play by the rules, and what does it get me. Dammit, I do blame myself that I didn’t make the bed this morning, and so I climbed right back in. What about trying to give my Dæmon his meds today. Now that is a job that must get done, I heard in a song once. Only he is trying my patience. Yeah, didn’t make the bed. Let me get back into the Day Job, though. As always, I continue with humiliations galore, being something that I’m not. I’m not moving forward; I am running for my life from life. The novels I read and shows I watch are wrecking me daily.

At this point, there is not one thing in my life that I’m both liking and doing well. TRYING, though, even if it’s something like not being addicted to failure. For what successes I had today? I woke up bright and early, shut off my alarm, and jumped right back into bed. What the Hell am I DOING in my life? That’s a massive question. M. Anime texted me, but I still haven’t gotten through all her audio files. Meanwhile, the spam keeps flowing. I wonder how much I’ll find when I get around to posting this at what. 11:00? Now that’s being optimistic. If anything, I excel at DOING nothing, which makes me sound a lot like Ralph Wiggum, “That’s where I’m a Viking.” Speaking of Vikings, I always waste money on everything. Yep, games, and other “miscellaneous” activities.

But writing tonight, Madam Justice, do I feel any better? Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 131 ~Greatest Rulers, Warriors, Aren’t Pure~

I’m the boss of a fur-baby, I say, as I open the door; how many times? I’m not the father of the year, hell as a guy in general, I’m alright. For him and I, and whatever woman shows up, I want everything. Greatest Rulers, Warriors, Aren’t Pure, right

Monday, November 9, 2020

Gospel 131 ~Greatest Rulers, Warriors, Aren’t Pure~

Hundred And Sixty-First Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I want more. Only who am I these days, to go talking about, let alone doing anything to go get it. I work for my Dæmon so that he can have a better life… Oh, so that’s why I left the Day Job early. How about a nap for a while?
You know that I want to be a good man Madam Justice. I’m not talking about “God, family, football,” you have The Best Man Holiday (2013) to thank for that. To be honest, Madam Justice, I am still trying to find the three elements that shape me as a man.

What I know is that everyone I see in any position of power has to hurt someone. Seems the wealthy live in a maddening state of damage control. They believe that in the end, their righteousness outweighs the evil. It’s one of many reasons they always cling to faith. In a world of things, I can’t stand, and indeed there are many. These two words, AHEM, the “Greater Good,” infuriate me. I’ll put them on the um, hated words list if I remember… like the rest of my terms. Biden and Harris are the Greater Good. I’m glad for the victory. They knocked out a Devil that would do me harm for an evil that might benefit me. I voted for my benefit even if it could do others harm “Snowflake Trumptards.” Only I won’t pretend they’re the Second Coming.

I was reading A.J. Markam’s novel today, the fourth one in a series. Anyway, so you got Ian the Warlock right and his former demon Dorp. They were arguing about him using people. He does good things ultimately to the benefit of himself. Lacking Abnegation? Yeah, Madam Justice, I can’t talk about the book I’m reading. But let’s throw in Veronica Roth’s “Divergent,” get it because of the Abnegation reference. Abnegation was the ruling faction, and you know how that turned out for them. Now, what faction would I choose? Dauntless, of course, was the bravest and the strongest. Erudite Madam Justice, the smartest, the cruelest, the ones that took Chicago hmm. Funny how my 161st rule ties in with the 13th, “Power Is All That Matters.” Madam Justice, I want to rule my life.

I could go on from The Factionless to Captain America…

Greatest Rulers, Warriors, Aren’t Pure.

“You two just don’t see it. Everywhere he goes, he uses people. And sometimes he uses them to help other people, but ultimately it’s all to help himself. He wouldn’t help you, succubus, if he didn’t find you so beautiful. He sure didn’t help me.”

“I do use other people. I try not to, and I try to help others out, but I fuck up sometimes. And I fucked up royally with you. I’m sorry. I know that’s not good enough – I know I have no right to ask you to forgive me – but I wanted you to know. If you want to leave now, you can.” ― A.J. Markam

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 124 ~Build Bridges And Not Barriers~

I’m swimming in words at the moment, and YouTube is one giant barrier. Not what I was thinking about in this rule. Ok, with “NaNoWriMo” starting, though. How best to stay connected with people and then again not. “Build Bridges And Not Barriers”

Monday, November 2, 2020

Gospel 124 ~Build Bridges And Not Barriers~

Hundred And Sixty Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I can pay other people to be architects. Now you know what I want to build and how I believe people are connected. Of course, today isn’t Thursday; it ain’t even Monday. Welcome to the beautiful world of Time Travel Justice.
I can do even better; the first day of NaNoWriMo. Hell, if I did have the money I crave, I would damn well be putting some walls up. Speaking of the Republican tendencies, I square with sometimes. Let’s get to the most essential thing… VOTE.

Being an African American man, Madam Justice, I don’t tend to get along with my “kind.” If I was part of the 1%, I’m sure I would lie, cheat, steal, and kill like Trump. Sadly, I connect with black people more in death than life. Only that’s my bridge to know them, to Stay Alive. Some few days ago, yes, I was texting M. Anime and, in my roundabout way, trying to explain people helping others. As my mind works, three movies come to mind… The Core, Snow Day, and First Knight. If I haven’t said it before, R.I.P. Sean Connery, King Arthur. In The Core, Serge explains that saving seven billion lives is too much, but he could save three. In Snow Day, the teens say love is finding someone you can stand to be around for ten minutes at a time ha. God makes us strong for a while, so we can help each other. Now that’s beautiful.

That was First Knight, by the way, spoken by King Arthur, and my point is this. People have spent years, if not eternity, devising ways to keep people back. Yes, including death. Only God Knows Why this has become the crux of my existence. Well, not with the Imp, I know. Probably because he doesn’t talk, and here we have one more reason I am a writer. I want to know some people, I want to help, and at the same time, as the song goes, I Stand Alone. Yep um, less hermit and more Royal Castle. Ok, so thanks, Lords of the Realm 2 ha. However, today, it should be more about connecting with my characters. And blocking out everything else in this world. So should the rule change? To be like M. Anime and believe in people. To Build Bridges And Not Barriers.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 013 ~He Willie Loves You~

They say diamonds are forever, what about books? I got mad at someone and gave them a piece of mind… on my way to 100,000 words. Someone else got around 50,000. The woman I’ll marry, though? Sing it with me, “A NeverEnding Story.” He Willie Loves You

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Gospel 013 ~He Willie Loves You~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now because I refuse to think otherwise. As is my love for you. If that’s the case, though, why am I still so afraid of losing it, of losing you. The past few weeks, I’ve been hurting over some loss friends… please hear me out. When people leave me, there’s no grouping of my sins, no I’m giving up on you, not even goodbye. So here I am writing the things I needed to say. When I stop, though, I mean there are no more words, links, or when I forget to check for days on end. Writers both fear and relish these two words, “The End.”

“I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity.” – Geoffrey Chaucer – A Knight’s Tale

I’ve told you that writing is my dream and you are too, My Love. Only you’re here, you’re mine and novel-writing, well the words keep coming. My motivations might say you have to love the pain, a writer sits and bleeds upon the page. One day though, let’s assume the current subject matter will fall away, and they’ll be something more. You’ve watched me become one with the music, a slave to the work, a man of silence. I always say this, I’m a hard man to know. That’s one more reason I write and like smart girls, not that you should spend your life learning about me. So that’s a lie because I want to know everything about you. They say that if women came with instructions, no man would read it. Instead, Baby Girl, I choose to write it every day I can.

“Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.” – 500 Days of Summer

It’s not about the money I know, but I want to write the checks and read the bills. Our kids had a library before they even knew how to spell their names. I see my firstborn with his little beard and his every hair turning gray being read to. I look upon all the love letters and poems that I wrote to you. No, you didn’t throw them away, laugh, or use them in a court case at some point, I wonder. You read my book and see those words The End or hell To Be Continued, and you ask how many words will it take? With one, it might take 50,000 thank you, NaNoWriMo. Another might take double or triple. You, My Love, are the song on repeat, my new dream. You, My Baby Doll, will be my never-ending story. He Willie Loves You.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 168 ~Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder~

I wonder, is my Mom be proud of me? My Day Job is nothing and how I wish to earn my bread well; in either case, I never feel like I’m working hard enough and she’s not getting any younger. Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder Will. Happy Birthday Mom

Monday, December 16, 2019

Log 168 ~Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder~

Hundred And Fifteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I should be, I know. Okay, before I begin, ha, I want to say Happy Birthday to my mom. If she ever read this blog well, better not to wish that at all. She doesn’t want to see the “man” her son has become. I’m not Martin Luther King Jr by any means, but I Have A Dream. Well, I did last night, which is quite easy to interpret. One more reason to laugh, I was going on a date with Sabrina Nichole and some other girl. Sabrina was “tethered” to me, and I was embarrassed, so I unhooked her, letting her run into the green.

It was a green mountain Madam Justice, thick and luscious. I don’t know about the other woman, but I kept my eyes on the prize of Sabrina. She was traveling through and made it to the top with ease. She is waiting for me and ain’t I the funny one today. Anyway I get stuck in the green, I’m not moving at all, I can’t climb up. I can’t resist, right myself to stand or even rest. This morning I’m still exhausted, but I got up a lot easier Madam Justice. Okay, what is the point of the dream, Higher, Further, Faster baby. You know what I can say about women but still “Family-Friendly.” I even changed the rule ever so slightly, but yeah, the truth is the truth. I could also quote Scarface to tell you what my dream means, but I’m not dreaming.

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”

I will admit yesterday was a setback, and I didn’t even have the heart to keep fighting for what I wanted. Madam Justice, I barely watch wrestling when it’s on TV, so why try stealing it by looking for streams. I could always pay, publish, or perchance do something else constructive, like reading. Playing works too as I advanced in Far Cry 5 last night. I finished The Widomaker and Valley Armed Convoy missions. Back to the point of today, though, to quote another movie. “If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.” Here I am Madam Justice, way before “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life” I want it.

Rhyme or Crime, Fire and Desire, as the kids say, we want the smoke so, Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 161 ~Be A Man Of Action~

Something that both heroes and villains have in common; they both take action, and while I want to say I’m 49% to 51% if anything as the song goes, I’m only a man a good one, a bad one, maybe alright but lights, camera. Be A Man Of Action, Will.

Monday, December 9, 2019

Log 161 ~Be A Man Of Action~

Hundred And Fourteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if this morning is any sign, a man of action. Let’s start with the Six Impossible Things. Sad to say, I’ve already failed at #2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves. Numbers 1, 5, and 6 I’m handling. #4 is doable, and #3 well, there is a reason I use the word Impossible. Look at the time though, think of the day that lies before me, the choice I made only moments before. Begin each day with gratitude, isn’t that right? I’m grateful I woke up, for my weird dreams, and Far Cry 5.

Yeah, if there is any action I take on the regular, it’s complaining. I’m on the Easy setting and still, almost got killed. How much time did I spend learning the controls? My Motion Sickness was a smidge better. Now, didn’t I say something about weird dreams? I don’t want to sound like the President or offend any veterans. Last night/this morning, I was dreaming about Vietnam? Here’s the offensive part, that’s how I view my life. For right now at least I’ve volunteered, I don’t know whether it’s right or wrong. If anything, I only “want” to serve. By the end of the day, without a doubt, I’m going to be in some “less optimal” state. I won’t be the same man that’s talking to you right now, Madam Justice, that’s for sure. How did Jada Cato put it? “It all went downhill after I put my pants on.”

Again gratitude, here and now I’m doing something I enjoy even if I’m tired. At this rate, I could knock out two of my Six Impossible Things before the day is over. I’ll continue working hard for my son, and I’ll get some more tips to play the game tonight. These all need to become habits instead of falling for whatever joke the pillow wants to tell. If I stay busy, I don’t have time to worry, or that’s something I learned from Dale Carnegie. Get busy living and all the rest from The Shawshank Redemption. Didn’t the movie “Young Einstein” talk about being a man of action? Of course, I can’t forget King Ezekiel from TWD. There might be something to my love of movies and the zombie genre.

Media, swimming, run boy run, Be A Man Of Action.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 154 ~Heroes Die Or Must Watch~

Last week I talked about being hurt, you know who gets a lot of that, heroes unless you’re Superman maybe and at this stage in the game I’m far more Marvel than DC, that’s the truth, but I’m also no hero. Heroes Die Or Must Watch.

Monday, December 2, 2019

Log 154 ~Heroes Die Or Must Watch~

Hundred And Thirteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m no hero. Well, sure, I walked my Dæmon around a pretty big dog today. I might have stopped following people on Twitter because I want to be a better man. So what I had a big lunch today and I’m fighting off sleep. Madam Justice, I wouldn’t mind being the hero, but I’m not. Wasn’t I telling Cherry the other day about Climate Change and how people should worry and be fearful? What am I doing to save the Earth? How about a friend who’s hurting? I wouldn’t help merely out of the kindness of my heart, sad to say?

As one rule goes, Heroes Die. If that’s the case, I want to live. Yes, I heard what I said, and to be clear, I’m not a doctor either. I should stop talking about my ear before I end up like Left Ear from The Italian Job. We’ll get back to my love of movies later. One more thing I’m thinking about is charity. I’m sure you’ve heard me say it before, but I only give to animals and NaNoWriMo. Madam Justice, I will never understand why the least amongst us are always asked to pay. There are people with billions that don’t even pay taxes. One day I will stop repeating myself, but I told you before my aunt said I wanted to destroy the world. Why would I do anything like that, there’s no profit in that undertaking. I’m also not Ozymandias; Talk about a hero to villain.

Okay, so movies, name one where the world became a utopia? Heroes fight, but they will be fighting forever, leaving wars to their children. You know, depending on the circumstances, I can watch pain. I read the His Dark Materials series, and they talk about building the Republic of Heaven where they are. It’s no place else but here and now Madam Justice. I don’t want to destroy the world, but I don’t think I can save it either. How about one more movie, The Core. A scientist was trying to keep his family; only three people alive because it was too much to save everyone. You know I would die for my Dæmon no question but to give him and a family a future? Down With President Trump. Black Lives Matter, whatever Greta Thunberg goes on about but me?

Heroes Die Or Must Watch

I Will Have No Fear

Log 081 ~Ad It Up Will~

How much for a day off; it’s a price I don’t mind paying again and again and hell can I call this a vacation, got my modeling page up and running and one more ad, when is the profit I ask? “Ad It Up Will.”

Friday, September 20, 2019

Log 081 ~Ad It Up Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, at least in word form. Now maybe I’ve been too deep into my motivations lately. Of course, this happens at the Day Job between my Show Me The Money and Tell Me Something Good playlist. If you asked me WHY I do what I do, I have my furry firstborn lying here. It’s not jealousy or envy that I see MILF Dos going into business. Hell Lady Sophia, how many cosplayers do I follow nowadays? I still remember sending “The Rainbow Girl” a Pokémon and getting blocked. Again, I send Morgan a cash offer and remain among one of many followers.

So why am I so fearful over a craigslist ad? Yesterday I talked about heroes, gurus, and idols. Not to sound like A&W and his current wrestling craze “Iconic.” Let’s say I can have better stalkers not that I’m accusing him. Who do you think I am, “The Basic Bitch” (LANGUAGE)? What I’m saying is, in print, you have to stand up for yourself. If you are a jester, you appreciate the heckle. A business learns to roll with the punches. You know I’ll rep The Red Lantern, Tillie Cole writes incredible books, MILF Dos is a goddess but so is Morgan. 5-hour ENERGY can go to Hell because of my headaches. Walmart employees still laughed at me. Regal Cinemas was a humiliation too. I don’t trust Pizza Hut or McDonald’s but what’s in my fridge, what was for lunch?

My writing that’s what love is to me as always. Yes, I’m still coming up with freaky, creepy, skeevy ass names on Pinterest as always. What about Le Marquis De Sade, another infamous author? I’ve talked some about Todd Michaels “Begging For It” and S Wolf “Sex Zombies.” How about Vladimir Nabokov’s “Lolita” novel? Marquis De Sade though he inspired the term Sadism. All my heroes were notorious in some way. They wrote stories, produced films, ran brothels, or modeling agencies. So here I am wrestling with myself over a Craigslist ad. One guy already called me pathetic. “Indiana Gone” wasn’t creeped out. I can’t talk about these things at the Day Job, of course. How famous do I think I am? The question is how famous do I want to be; how wealthy and that I’ll leave to Tony:

So what’s the price Lady Sophia, Ad It Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 074 ~Will’s Hood Has Ideas~

Pop the hood, hell it’s too hot as is and I’m not talking about my car; well let’s say today is a beautiful day to stay indoors despite the sunshine day and as long as I’m removing clothes if I had a model. “Will’s Hood Has Ideas”

Friday, September 13, 2019

Log 074 ~Will’s Hood Has Ideas~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now and have even more ideas. Now which one of them is going to net me that million. I was ready to invest $5.00 more in my new business. Oh my writing, more like getting girls to take their clothes off. Hell one woman I got to do that started a business of her own. The eye doctor didn’t notice any change in my eyesight as I recall. So I’m ready and waiting as far as writing and women which brings me to you today. I’m still playing time traveler as today is Thursday. A man has to eat, so how do I get that done hmm?

As I said ideas for my book, I started off thinking thirteen faces. At least that’s what I told Indiana Gone, and I hate lying. The thing is I don’t know if I’m lying or not. It’s a good idea but getting five women to make an Ahegao face for the cover of my book? A real visceral experience and two birds, one stone. You know I hate that saying that a picture is worth such and such more than words. If I have learned anything a week after “THE Day,” sex sells. Of course, I’ve always known that Lady Soph. Morgan is still trying to sell those headphones of hers. A few nude pictures she would have all the money with change. Please don’t make me go into how much I do respect women. People pay to go to museums and admire art. The same will go to a strip club. What’s the purpose of the internet once again?

So my ideas, finding four or five girls to do an Ahegao face in person for the cover. Of course, I’m a greedy S.O.B so have them here to model, beauty equals profit. With that, I was down the rabbit hole, looking into modeling, adult entertainment, etc. Anyway, people say they give blood, sweat, and tears, to their passions. Water is the element that brings life. Do I need to tell you what other fluid does the same? Five fluids and five women though I can shorten it to four. Finally, there’s that Ad that I keep writing and rewriting. I swear Lady Sophia if it was for my book. There’s also my modeling agenda and doing the finances. Today friend, Will’s Hood Has Ideas.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 067 ~Will Hires A Musing~

So this is it and I don’t know exactly how I feel or how to express it apparently… do I need a doctor or a mortician, should I be directing a horror film or living it and tomorrow will come regardless. Will Hires A Musing, or a “Terminator”

Friday, September 6, 2019

Log 067 ~Will Hires A Musing~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, or I better become one Monday. September 1st was the goal, and with everything yesterday well? Positive vibes Lady Sophia, the law of attraction. As I named my motivational playlist “Tell Me Something Good” for once.

Have you ever played that game Fuck, Marry, Kill? When it comes to my working hours, I will marry my writing. Of course Fuck the adult entertainment industry and kill my Day Job. That’s something I shouldn’t say, again considering yesterday. I’ve said it often enough, the best thing in the world is to be loved. If not that liked, barring that respected. Not right, okay invisible, and after exhausting the idea, feared. I was invisible but why? Rule #002 states: You Are Not A Caveman. Still, where would we be without them Lady Sophia? A grunt here, a picture there, a word? I fuck (LANGUAGE) pixels all the time (FAP), or I used to you know. Again I would marry my words. More than anything I wish I didn’t have to make a sound. Suicidal on the eve of “The Day?” It wouldn’t be the first time Lady Sophia.

Let’s play another game. Would You Rather never be born at all or live my life? How about this, would I rather go back to high school and have bad grades on The Day? Or would I rather keep this moment and worry about going back to Hell? I’m damned either way as always. Can’t say that I’m surprised how this week has turned out. More law of attraction but I wasn’t thinking about The Day at all. I expected nothing and the world manifested shit (LANGUAGE). I’m sure that’s what my mom thinks of her oldest son. Would You Rather have your son or your daughter? Easy when it comes to my Olds. Ask the Day Job, would you rather have an eight-year employee who wants to work or anybody else, I’m fucked (LANGUAGE).

I’m more a Battle Royale, The Hunger Games, The V Games type of guy. Schoolgirls vs. Professional Models. Brothels, strip clubs, movie studios, filled to the brim. Notice I didn’t have any temptations today; I didn’t get much sleep last night. Yeah even when I’m not at the Day Job or with my Olds these days SIGH. Terminator, Hooker, Devil, to help with my life’s story Will Hires A Musing.

I Will Have No Fear