Tag: Fifth Year

Journey 333 ~B Runs, V Hides~

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No one man should have all that power—the Russians, Chinese, Trump, the Magic Glasses, etc. I could be worse, but I’m too tired… usually. Plus, I have two furry ones who hate summertime, my boys. And a woman who’s Hot as Hell. “B Runs, V Hides.”

Saturday, May 30, 2026

Journey 333 ~B Runs, V Hides~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… I lie like a rug. And not just any rug. One of those fancy Persian ones.

And then I would have my servants carry me to an even comfier bed, Lunalesca.

Saturday, another lazy Saturday, and B knows I’ve been sittin’ here, tryin’ to find myself.

What, in dreams? Wasn’t I dreaming when I was busy mooning over Lexi Booker’s Yabbos? Or when I was telling Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom that Leana Lovings is my favorite pornstar? Or when I was letting loose all over the bed. I know, ew.

How bad do I want to lie down? To take the damn L? And to find wherever B III landed?

That’s why my boy is still running. And haven’t I said I would do anything for him? I don’t know if Braxton forgives me or not. But what he wants

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Life. And as the song goes, as my belief says, “He Lives In You.” I wouldn’t be here otherwise, Lunalesca. But today I’m questioning what type of life. Lunalseca. Energy…

Not like the Drake song, really eww! Despite what the Magic Glasses said about those two girls from The Purge, The Mercy Cult, The Givers Sister Melissa (Emmanuelle Nadeau), and Sister Penelope (Jessica Garza). Let’s just say I heard The Long Walk blaring “WARNING!” Or maybe it was the horn from one of the vehicles from Mario Kart 64, Lu.

Toad’s Turnpike, to be exact. That’s how I feel today—usually driving The Rainbow Road.

The Rainbow Bridge? Wherever. “I’m so, I’m so tired, I’m so tired of trying” Flake.

Possibly. Virgil feels like that.

It’s why he hides in plain sight. My Virgil sleeps.

Afraid that I’m like something from the 2006 “Pulse.” For the record, yes, I know the Japanese did it first. My geekiness, Lu. Anyway, it’s like when Braxton was here. I was afraid my rage would drain his life. But it was my indifference that his life tried to fill.

Luna, it’s like my “big sister” would tell me. I would empty my body because everything else was full. Mind, heart, and soul. Filled with what? Fear, Fuckery/Lust, and Fury.

Lunalseca, like a Sith Lord. It gives power/energy, purpose, and perseverance. But life, Lady Lu. “I Want A New Drug.” My harem. Tech with Judy and 2B. Magicks, Nico. Wake up! B Runs, V Hides

“They want what they don’t have anymore. They want life.”
Isabell Fuentes – Pulse (2006)

1945 Days Without B III, Day 1386 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 331 ~Virgil’s Beeps, Braxton’s Boops~

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What’s that beeping? How many times did I boop B’s nose? How many more times will I boop V’s? I could have used a bleep when it came to Cody ChesnuTT. Eff that guy. If I were banging B and V’s stepmom, I’d feel better. Virgil’s Beeps, Braxton’s Boops

Thursday, May 28, 2026

Journey 331 ~Virgil’s Beeps, Braxton’s Boops~

1943 Days Without B III, Day 1384 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine? “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”. Although, how do I see anything? SIGH

Crying? Not at first, B. So I was late getting up this morning, hmm. It’s hard to obey an alarm clock to get up at 4 AM when you’re going to sleep at 2 AM. Awake before M, B III

Talk about the good—your potential future stepmom in a sundress or not. I know you appreciate your favorite girl’s yabbos. And we still want to see Cherry’s. She’s 29. Seriously, I was about to say age is just a number, and then I remembered last night.

Yesterday, Emmanuelle Nadeau aka, “Sister Melissa,” and Jessica Garza, aka “Sister Penny.” WARNING! I’m being bad, with the Magic Glasses, and the “Glow Box”. But if I want to be ugly, I need only look into a mirror.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But as the song goes, today is “All About You.” And while I’m busy ripping off pop culture, I actually need to see “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” and I miss “The Book of Clarence,” where I first heard Jeymes Samuel’s “All About You.” All the noise, Braxton.

I swear it’s driving me insane. Short of your potential stepmom’s temptations, your brother’s tantrums, and I’ll even admit the final typing of a conversation with you or the girls, and even your own thoughts. It’s like I need the noise and then effing silence.

Honestly, though, if I had one wish right now… Of course, it would always be to have you back. But I want to forget about the Day Job Tuesday. Eff Cody ChesnuTT! Eff “Look Good In Leather”. And if I want you to watch your language when barking… Well sorry.

I’m only looking for a noise to drown everything else out right now. Something, anything!

Is it any wonder that the three latest additions to my fictional harem have been technical types B III? Judy Alvarez, 2B, and Nicoletta Goldstein. Books you can’t read, Braxton.

Better yet, a book I wouldn’t read to you—the buzzing, the breaths taken, and the bang. I don’t need to go looking in that special drawer… You know the one under your memorial, which was meant to protect us… It’s like a nuclear button. Not so serious. Only bad.

Daddy doesn’t need that much noise. Virgil’s Beeps, Braxton’s Boops

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 326 ~Virgil’s Type, Braxton’s Inkling~

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I feel like I’m being ripped to shreds. At least I did last night. Maybe if I were making money doing what I loved… porno, pounding keys, or taking care of my puppy boys, I wouldn’t wonder how long pizza stays good. “Virgil’s Type, Braxton’s Inkling”

Saturday, May 23, 2026

Journey 326 ~Virgil’s Type, Braxton’s Inkling~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… For writing, for women, or how about whining about my boys? Don’t I always, Lady Lunalesca?

When I don’t enter a deep sleep, let Depression bring absolute silence, and “My Dick.”

Seriously? If it wasn’t a certain character from GTA 4 or Cyberpunk 2077’s Judy Alvarez.

But between them was Whiteout Survival all this morning. Thus, no typing, no writing, and not even an inkling of an idea until now. I swear, Lunalesca, the last time I remember doing something that mattered on a Saturday was Saturday, August 13, 2022. Virgil…

Sad, ain’t it? And what a poor little bastard, 2-V, is that I found him—my B III’s little bro.

Oh, eff me, I got an idea brewing. Little head or big head? Both. How do I decide these things? With my boys, it’s my heart. With women… Little head.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

‧ “I don’t use my head to fly the arrow, boy! I use my heart.”

Yondu didn’t mean it like this, I’m sure, but those words came to mind. Honestly.

Lunalesca, I’m sure you’ve heard this story before. The Saturday all those years ago when I visited PetSmart and saw Archie, who would become my beloved Second-Born Virgil, sitting in a “cage” with several other fur babies. And I swear I heard Braxton’s voice, hmm.

  1. I can’t make this more black and white Dad
  2. Look at his eyes (B III’s tan fur, both sides). And three black dots head, “back” & tail
  3. He knows how to use the paper (Puppy Training Pads)

And now this afternoon SIGH. I got all kinds of horny, and I was thinking of Judy Alvarez and then NieR: Automata’s 2B aka 2E.

So the harem’s getting bigger… Eight? Nine, if you count Elara. Effing Magic Glasses, Lu.

Am I coming to rely on them much too often? I do appreciate the artistry, but I do my own writing and sigh, edits. But the world is being built Step by step, bit by bit. Stone by stone, yeah, brick by brick. Step by step, day by day. Masonry? That would pay well, Lu.

And to think I once liked to sing. My Ma raised me on Whitney Houston. But my calling has always been writing. Cherry tried pumping me up a bit, Luna. But she’s in the same boat. But she’s sick, what’s my effing excuse? Playing in a winter wonderland. And lazy.

Life. Virgil’s Type, Braxton’s Inkling

1938 Days Without B III, Day 1379 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 324 ~Braxton’s Highest Price, Virgil~

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Even if I could have my boy cloned, reincarnated, or if this were all a bad dream, would I want to sentence my boy back to this life? Five years later, and all that’s changed is the son. The price of loving me… SIGH. “Braxton’s Highest Price, Virgil”

Thursday, May 21, 2026

Journey 324 ~Braxton’s Highest Price, Virgil~

1936 Days Without B III, Day 1377 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Is there a time without it up on the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, “The Garden,” etc.

Who are you? Thanos? In all honesty, you did take half the universe dying, Braxton.

Seriously, if I were to blame you for anything, it’s simply that you took the wrong half. It should have been me, dammit. And no, I’m not mad. I’ve wasted another day. STUPID things were done. “Sex Dreams” … Uh, yeah, let’s call them that, were had. I know, Eww!

And your Daddy sleeps like a sinner, meaning there “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked”.

“Ain’t No Grave” can hold my body down. I keep saying I’m going straight to Hell, Little B. I’d say I’m already there with all this heat. I swear, hot summer sun and hot wings.

Her? And no, I don’t mean the singer B or the movie. Good movie BTW.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

No, little man. Break it down. Your Dad is in hot water again. Or it feels that way. Uh oh.

Let’s just say sometimes your Daddy needs to take off the Magic Glasses sometimes, B.

A hot blonde here, The Last of Us there, and the sisters from Tenjho Tenge this morning as well. I thought way back then you would pay the price for my indiscretion. I’d have to leave you. But it was I who paid the price. Again, all this heat. Rage, Lust, and a sick man.

I gave you indifference, thinking I was protecting you. And then “Don’t Fear The Reaper.”

That’s why this isn’t Hell… The Ninth Circle is supposed to be cold. That price…

It would be too easy to pay. No, Braxton, I pay by keeping your brother alive. Virgil is running around in your bedroom as we speak… Not being you. B, you would be in here.

Well, unless you were in a time-out. Then I would be busting my balls all over some girl online. Again, Eww! Can I not be Mike Johnson telling my only son about my bits? Eww!

Effing MAGA! Am I blaming them for my being broke? First, your Dad is broke in more ways than one. Second, your Dad is a bum. And third, “How Long Will I Love You,” B?
Your brother, M Anime (maybe) someday, and me? You ask so much of me, my son. Braxton’s Highest Price, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 319 ~B On GARDEN Virgil~

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My girl grows things, flowers, food, a family… My firstborn son was/is all about guarding the backyard. My second born… V’s been here nearly five years… He’s still growing on me. “Sing It Back,” “I’m Just a Kid,” doing his chores. B On GARDEN Virgil

Saturday, May 16, 2026

Journey 319 ~B On GARDEN Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at that statement. Laugh. I’m a little dehydrated.

That’s why I’m late talking to you yet again, Lady Lunalesca. Yard work, yes, I took a shower after, and a yummy energy drink. Or should I say more potent? Eff you, “Bum Energy”! “Bloom” works wonders. Nothing worthwhile is blooming outside the garden that my Braxton used to guard. He would be ashamed it’s fallen as it has, Lunalesca.

Virgil ain’t doing much with it. But this was never supposed to be permanent. Seriously.

I promised B plenty that he would have the greatest yard and several sibling minions.

“Someday,” M Anime will help with both of those if she’ll have me—honestly, Lunalesca.

I don’t understand what she sees in me. As long as she’s singing, “You’re Too Big To Fit In Here.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Ain’t that “The Sweetest Thing”? And that is after the most painful… Her business, Luna.

I’ve got more than enough of my own pain of my own. I have a splinter in my finger from today’s yard work. I got eaten by ants. Never forget the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. If we’re talking mentally, where do we begin with my craziness? I’m still down about Braxton. Depression. Mourning. Grief. Take your pick. Teary effing ocean!

Lunalesca, “It’s My Life,” no doubt. It should have been it should be. And I have no “Power” in it. That starts with me insisting on paying my own way. Independence. I should be a damn man. Especially when talking to M Anime and with Virgil. Truthfully. A Man Provides!

And speaking about being a man. You know that dangling thing in my pants. Effing!

Lunalesca, I’m always so effing horny. And what did it for me today? Ellie Goulding? Or was it the redhead from “Virgin Roster,” Tomo Sakashita? How about the character that the Magic Glasses created, Elena Voss? Speaking of which, I’m glad I didn’t use them on Ren Hasami or Little Lupe. Let’s just say they grow on you. Somewhere That’s Green? I could be somewhere way worse. But personally, you know what I desire, Lunalesca.

Paint It, Black—the whole damn world. Bring on the darkness. “And yet I watch my youngest son, and it helps to pass the time.” My Braxton’s tan. My colorful harem. B On GARDEN Virgil

1931 Days Without B III, Day 1372 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 317 ~Some BS Reading, Virgil~

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I’m the Last of My Kind, Mr. Ray Garraty. And where’s my Pete McVies? B’s still gone. And who would V be if I ever got around to reading The Long Walk to him? I should have been reading anything. But the damn “Magic Glasses.” Some BS Reading, Virgil

Thursday, May 14, 2026

Journey 317 ~Some BS Reading, Virgil~

1929 Days Without B III, Day 1370 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Did you read a good book? Not “The Good Book,” mind you. You can read…

What? You’re not a slave. You’re just… Dead. “And before I’d be a slave, I’d be buried in my grave. And go home to my Lord and be free.” A few things about that, Braxton…

First, I “know” you can see colors now. Rainbow Bridge and all. The Rainbow Road.

Second, I have no problem “saying” you’re gone, and you’ve died. “It’s no insult to say a dead man is dead.” It’s ACCEPTANCE. To read. To endure. To know. That will never happen, Baby B. It’s just a bullshit word. As far as I’m concerned, you’re on my right, B.

Virgil’s sleeping on my left. But thirdly, my dear B, you know how MAGA is about Black people. Listen, listen, hear and understand. Always FDT!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But I’m not here to talk about hearing unless it’s Succubus Lord 14 (Swimsuit Edition) or M Anime minus the swimsuit. Braxton, I love your potential stepmom’s yabbos. Jeezu B!

And no, I’m not getting all religious either. Okay, there is the religion that the Magic Glasses are building. As far as “The Good Book” is concerned… John and Revelation.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son… B, my sweet, sweet boy, I would watch cities burn for you, I would commit genocides for you, I would bathe in blood for you. Taking a bullet, you wouldn’t have to ask. This world means nothing.

Jeezu, Joel, John Wick, etc. So let it be written, so let it be done.

And that is what is scaring your Daddy today. The things I have written. “All These Things That I’ve Done”. It’s not the depth of my love for you. Anyone who knows me knows the lengths I will go to. I love… well, not yet, but I am obsessed with M Anime, B. I am so in love with dying, I’ve read the word necrophilia. I’m talking damn near Tillie Cole’s “Raphael.” And you and your brother have lain in bed with me more than any chick. Do you remember you wanted me to take your Favorite Girl to bed? And Virgil would cry all night if I kicked him out. But last night (sigh), what I wrote triggered a WARNING! Some BS Reading, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 312 ~A Size V, Braxton~

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Braxton and Virgil didn’t get winter coats. I don’t remember the last time I bought clothes. New boots? Long story. And condoms? M Anime is adamant that she wants babies, three to be precise. And Mother’s Day is coming up. A Size V, Braxton

Saturday, May 9, 2026

Journey 312 ~A Size V, Braxton~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So “a king-size tub big enough for ten plus me” is not out of the question.

More or less, Lu. How about average? The cost of living. But the word for today is equal. Or right? Eff, with all the politics these days, they almost drown out cries for my boy.

“First, let me explain that I’m just a black man (a black man).” Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, I am not. Neither am I some “Rockstar”. It’s what they call delusions of grandeur.

Lunalesca, I want more! And it’s like everyone else has it but me. I’m a minority of one, hmm. I wake up every morning, and it’s like I’m already in last place. My alliance has more points, and I’m the village idiot. My girl, B, and V’s potential stepmom has more time and love; Virgil takes up more bed space.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

There’s this suit of armor… “Put on the whole armor of God…” Please! There’s a reason I wear baggy hoodies or the sorcerer’s robes of Shang Tsung in fantasies, Lunalesca.

Because there’s so much less of me, to me, I keep thinking I’ll grow someday, Lunalesca.

Well, more than, my “monster…” My meat is murder if you know what I mean. Yeah, I know, Eww! I’m trying to dial it back. But there “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked” right?

There’s too much of it, Lady Luna. When I was busy trying to beat Braxton to Heaven by starving myself, my “big sister” said it was because I was full of “Real Emotion.” Just full.

And now, like Virgil, I try to shrink myself. Down

Further, further, and further still. Because I don’t fit anywhere. And my how Virgil tries.

But like father, like son. I’m sure if I could understand Virgil the way I understand Braxton, he’d be saying, “I‘ve been ‘watching you, ‘ Dad, ain’t that cool.” Honestly.

Lunalesca, I expect far too much of my second-born. I expect far too much of his potential stepmom, don’t I? And I expect far too much of myself. I see how overwhelmed I am and still. Am I effing Goldilocks? I did not just say that out loud! What I mean is this. Do I want more, all of it, and options? Or am I looking for what fits just right? My junk, eww! My heart. A Size V, Braxton

1924 Days Without B III, Day 1365 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

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Isn’t it sad that to merely exist, one must have purpose? I mean, especially in the USA, FDT. What’s a bed for? Babies. Domestic labor. To play “Whiteout Survival.” How about rock out with my… Uh, my boys still sleep here. “B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.”

Thursday, May 7, 2026

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

1922 Days Without B III, Day 1363 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day… Your Dad? Well, I wasn’t much of a student. Do you remember that?

Was I still in college… AHEM, junior college, when you made your way here? You definitely weren’t here for high school. You and I would have died a lot sooner fighting my Old Man. Back when I was praying for a D in summer school. No, not like that, B.

Eww. Nothing against the LGBTQIA+ community, Braxton. We’re not MAGA. FDT! B, that was your last gift to me… Well, not really. But you died Sunday, January 31, 2021, so you saw me to the end of that A-hole’s first term. And your bro… Virgil, having no balls isn’t my fault. He lost those before I welcomed him here. But having no guts at all?

Like HOME, I treat COURAGE like it’s a dirty word.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Beatrice Prior, aka Tris, aka Shailene Woodley is one (b) I would have welcomed to bed, Little B. But she was with some Cracker Hat back then. Not that I stood a chance, my B.

But speaking of someone who would have me “Smokin Out The Window,” that’s part of the reason I’m late talking to you today. Between looking through the Magic Glasses and talking to your potential stepmom, “M Anime,” I’ve come to a realization. Had an epiphany. Yeah, that sounds a bit more religious. Anyway, with the story I’ve been “writing,” yeah, right. Every woman who joins the harem is a part of me, I eff over.

Literally B. And isn’t “Ironic”? When you ‘left’, I was celibate for 161 days. Right…

One good look at Chloë Grace Moretz rubbing her thigh, and I broke. Daddy’s weak.

Your Dad is also quite dumb. Please, I’m STUPID AF, and I know you don’t like me talking like this. I didn’t take my afternoon nap. I was up at 10. But the Magic Glasses:

• M Anime = Heart & Future (emotional + creative)
• Kyouko = Momentum & Desire (raw fun and drive)
• Lily = Past & Mourning (sacred grief turned into offering)
• Cassandra = Fire & Youth (passionate, competitive energy)
• Sophitia = Stability & Motherhood (mature, nurturing strength)

They don’t see Skye clearly. Not yet. In a world, you still exist. In a place I want to be in.

“Days Gone”? Been watching that. I, B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 305 ~Oh, B Hive Virgil~

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Idle hands are the Devil’s playthings, so I try to stay productive; I try not to play in my pants; I try not to make a peep. But there’s a dog who needs me, a damsel in distress, and I‘m a mourning dog dad. I’m busy as a bee here. “Oh, B Hive Virgil”

Saturday, May 2, 2026

Journey 305 ~Oh, B Hive Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Someone should do the world a service. But what do I know about submarines or healthcare?

And I’m not STUPID enough to say such and such about that A-hole in the White House, my dear Luna. FDT! Hell, eff the whole world today. But where else is there, I ask, Lu?

Sitting in the car today being honked at by some a-hole at the bank, do you know what I was thinking? Besides, I’m not a billionaire. All I was thinking… “I want to go home.”

Where is that Lady Lunalesca? THEY say that home is where the heart is… Braxton. Honestly, “Days Go By” still, I think, why not? Virgil? Does he feel at home yet? One of the things I bother to clean these days. He crapped his bed. Flies over Bees. “Sh*t, honey!”

Things I should have said…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Yesterday… Things you can say about your dog and your girlfriend. M Anime? Her story

It ain’t my right to tell. But my woman is having a hard time right now, and I can’t be there for her. At least not physically. Mentally? How long was I up last night talking to Lady Sophia because I’m a man who “loves” his woman? Not yet. But I care for her. True.

Enough to behave myself? Her first, LOL! I hope she never changes. She is my boys’ potential stepmom. And she wants a place in my bed, a baby in her tummy, and a rock on her finger—blood, sweat, and tears. There was plenty of that yesterday. A Man Provides.

Home, House, and Hive. Busy?

My head is buzzing. “Make The World Go Away.” If that wasn’t me this morning.

Lunalesca, how is it that I am so overwhelmed, and at the same time, I want everything? It’s like that movie, Blindness (2008). I can see everything, but I’m a slave to the blind. Eff!

How about the woman from Chis Dietzel’s “The Hauntings of Playing God”? It’s far too late to save souls in this place. To save time for sleep. Um, to stroke my c*ck. Oh, do behave.

Trust me, I’m trying. How many times have I seen M Anime’s yabbos today? Glorious!
But I’m trying to save babes, I’ve created via the Magic Glasses. Bucks? My boy?

Lunalesca, Virgil, is in Braxton’s room. Oh, B Hive Virgil.

1917 Days Without B III, Day 1358 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

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I taught my boys to be gentlemen when it came to the ladies. And Braxton knows there were all kinds of stories I couldn’t read to them. B III loves his Favorite Girl. And 2-V? He’s scared of everybody. And I’m an open book. “B Tailing Secrets Virgil”

Thursday, April 30. 2026

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

1915 Days Without B III, Day 1356 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only you could talk, hmm… Please. I know your language like I know my…

Nevermind… The point is, I could hear you then. I can hear you now. Listening…

Honestly, that’s my problem. Communication. Where was the voice to say, “I have a bad feeling about this?” Star Wars was 1977… Yay, I’m younger than Star Wars, Baby B.

However, not by very much. Is that why I’m hard of hearing? I’m selective, which makes me more of a jerk. I heard what you were saying, and I couldn’t be bothered—my rage, B.

Smoke was coming out of my ears, and I didn’t want to take it out on you. Then explain why your little brother is asleep on the floor instead of next to me. I’m not mad at Virgil, Braxton. Less horny? Bible Black, my harem.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll always listen to my “boner…” Seriously, did your father just become a frat bro?!

Goodness no! Though I’ll always be your brother in arms, legs, uh, paws, whatever B.

Like father, like son. Do you remember when I had to give you “The Talk?” When your favorite girl comes to visit. You didn’t keep secrets from her, I know that B. You would show her too much. Again, like father, like son. We communicate, we confide, and we gain the consent of the ladies. Even though sometimes the answer is no. We hear it.

Acceptance is a whole other thing entirely. I’ve made it no secret that I will never accept you being gone. Would I be better off? Billy Bob Thornton said this:

“There’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50 percent happy and 50 percent sad at any given moment. … I don’t want to forget my brother. I don’t want to forget what it felt like when he died, because he deserves that — that’s how important he was to me. So, if I have to suffer and I have to be sad for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him… then that’s the way I honor him.” — By Billy Bob Thornton.

And don’t we have a rule about listening to white men… Effing Supreme Court! Eff!

Anyway, speaking of things I don’t want to hear. I was working with the “Magic Glasses” the other day, and it said that I got too sexual even for it. My harem for healing, Braxton.

MAGIC GLASSES Notes: Journey 302 B Slaving Away, Virgil (Wednesday, April 29, 2026)

[This is one of the most explicit fantasy prompts yet — shifting from the more “romantic” or “devotional” rituals to raw group sensuality, with the acolytes as aroused spectators.”

As real-world pressures mount — financial shame (“not economically viable”), creative frustration, physical/mental exhaustion, and the long grief over Braxton — the fantasy world becomes increasingly sexual and explicit.

Earlier Journeys often used the temple for protection, healing, and ritual renewal (hot spring, dawn prayer, Second Howl).

Recent entries (298–302) shift toward raw group sensuality, voyeurism (acolytes watching), and intense physical release.

This suggests the fantasy is no longer just about comfort or legacy — it has become a pressure-release valve. When the weight of reality feels unbearable (“I’m so effing TIRED”), the mind turns to intense sexual fantasy as a way to temporarily escape the noise, shame, and grief.
The Magic Glasses

This mirrors your real longing for a large, loving family with M Anime while simultaneously using sexual fantasy as a substitute when that future feels distant or impossible.

The increased explicitness in the prompts (bulges under sheets, acolytes touching themselves, group acts) suggests the escape is becoming more intense because the underlying pain is also intensifying.

The explicitness is not “just horniness” — it’s a symptom of deeper exhaustion and a craving for relief, validation, and temporary peace.

Bottom line:
The more explicit the temple scenes become, the louder your real-world exhaustion, grief, and sense of stagnation are crying out for relief. The harem and acolytes rushing to pleasure and comfort the Sorcerer is your mind’s way of saying: “I need to be cared for. I need to feel wanted. I need a break from carrying everything alone.”

Would you like me to explore or suggest how the temple rituals might evolve to address this emotional state more constructively?]

It’s like one of those books I couldn’t read to you while you were here. I was still into Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. Friday, January 29, 2021 Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~ I’ll give that to the Magic Glasses too and see what it thinks. Sunday Bloody Sunday, you were gone. But there has to be a better way than some woman’s ass or mine getting squeezed by her. B Tailing Secrets Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad