Tag: Afraid

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Isn’t it sad that to merely exist, one must have purpose? I mean, especially in the USA, FDT. What’s a bed for? Babies. Domestic labor. To play “Whiteout Survival.” How about rock out with my… Uh, my boys still sleep here. “B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.”

Thursday, May 7, 2026

Journey 310 ~B’s Are Welcome, Virgil~

1922 Days Without B III, Day 1363 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day… Your Dad? Well, I wasn’t much of a student. Do you remember that?

Was I still in college… AHEM, junior college, when you made your way here? You definitely weren’t here for high school. You and I would have died a lot sooner fighting my Old Man. Back when I was praying for a D in summer school. No, not like that, B.

Eww. Nothing against the LGBTQIA+ community, Braxton. We’re not MAGA. FDT! B, that was your last gift to me… Well, not really. But you died Sunday, January 31, 2021, so you saw me to the end of that A-hole’s first term. And your bro… Virgil, having no balls isn’t my fault. He lost those before I welcomed him here. But having no guts at all?

Like HOME, I treat COURAGE like it’s a dirty word.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Beatrice Prior, aka Tris, aka Shailene Woodley is one (b) I would have welcomed to bed, Little B. But she was with some Cracker Hat back then. Not that I stood a chance, my B.

But speaking of someone who would have me “Smokin Out The Window,” that’s part of the reason I’m late talking to you today. Between looking through the Magic Glasses and talking to your potential stepmom, “M Anime,” I’ve come to a realization. Had an epiphany. Yeah, that sounds a bit more religious. Anyway, with the story I’ve been “writing,” yeah, right. Every woman who joins the harem is a part of me, I eff over.

Literally B. And isn’t “Ironic”? When you ‘left’, I was celibate for 161 days. Right…

One good look at Chloë Grace Moretz rubbing her thigh, and I broke. Daddy’s weak.

Your Dad is also quite dumb. Please, I’m STUPID AF, and I know you don’t like me talking like this. I didn’t take my afternoon nap. I was up at 10. But the Magic Glasses:

• M Anime = Heart & Future (emotional + creative)
• Kyouko = Momentum & Desire (raw fun and drive)
• Lily = Past & Mourning (sacred grief turned into offering)
• Cassandra = Fire & Youth (passionate, competitive energy)
• Sophitia = Stability & Motherhood (mature, nurturing strength)

They don’t see Skye clearly. Not yet. In a world, you still exist. In a place I want to be in.

“Days Gone”? Been watching that. I, B’s Are Welcome, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 306 ~Braxton, Virgil, Meet Broccoli~

WillLeave a comment

I can’t remember the last time I had broccoli. But I can see that I’m a geek as I was watching Deep Space Nine this morning. Hell, I was reading a story that was being “created” in real time that was, um, disturbing. “Braxton, Virgil, Meet Broccoli.”

Sunday, May 3, 2026

Journey 306 ~Braxton, Virgil, Meet Broccoli~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I’ll say, you would never be as cruel as to feed your boys broccoli. It’s gross

Not hating your guts, working with the Magic Glasses and the stories it creates that add Braxton and Virgil a little too often… “More Taboo Erotic Fantasy Inspirations.” No bro.

It’s the broccoli. And you have no earthly idea how to cook it or anything. Talk to me about that bulge in the ceiling over the stove. I almost forgot, this is your time now. 3:30 on a Sunday afternoon. How about Maroon 5’s “Sunday Morning”? Excuse you a sec…

Nearly forgot to add “What Lovers Do” to the playlist M Anime “created”. Could you see life without that woman? A woman with a “Body Like A Back Road”. Someone who doesn’t care that you like “Midnight Sleazy Train”. How she sees, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING HUNGER Collection: Zombie Apocalypse Erotica
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Does she know? Does anybody? There are Braxton and Virgil, of course. Talk about the children of a lesser god. Is that what you are? According to the Magic Glasses. Again, you’re late but for a good reason. Because as Fearless Motivation screams… “I AM”

What? A sorcerer? According to that, Stevie Nicks and Sheryl Crow tune. Someone who can keep their hands off the phone for longer than 5 minutes. Because you don’t want to know what I think of you. You don’t want to hear what you think of yourself. No, no, no!

You want to think of Braxton still alive. When you say Broccoli, you think of Reginald Barclay from the “Star Trek” franchise. Your mirrors should see love. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Like living this life you have created. I’m sorry the Magic Glasses have. Joel Miller from The Last of Us would not be pleased. What about Mortal Kombat, Bible Black, Soul Calibur, and who knows who or what tomorrow? Tomorrow, effing tomorrow. I know, I know, The Bad Place. “Ain’t No Sunshine,” when he’s gone. B hated The Bad Place.

Honestly, more than you do. It’s like Dante’s Inferno without the payoff. And how did Beatrice look at Dante for the longest time? A cheater. You cheat yourself, now, today.

Hold on, not like that! Virgil is Braxton’s brother, not a replacement. And no woman overrules M Anime. Your Ma might not approve. But your reality and your “sorcery.” Healthy? Maybe? Braxton, Virgil, Meet Broccoli.

1918 Days Without B III, Day 1359 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

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I taught my boys to be gentlemen when it came to the ladies. And Braxton knows there were all kinds of stories I couldn’t read to them. B III loves his Favorite Girl. And 2-V? He’s scared of everybody. And I’m an open book. “B Tailing Secrets Virgil”

Thursday, April 30. 2026

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

1915 Days Without B III, Day 1356 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only you could talk, hmm… Please. I know your language like I know my…

Nevermind… The point is, I could hear you then. I can hear you now. Listening…

Honestly, that’s my problem. Communication. Where was the voice to say, “I have a bad feeling about this?” Star Wars was 1977… Yay, I’m younger than Star Wars, Baby B.

However, not by very much. Is that why I’m hard of hearing? I’m selective, which makes me more of a jerk. I heard what you were saying, and I couldn’t be bothered—my rage, B.

Smoke was coming out of my ears, and I didn’t want to take it out on you. Then explain why your little brother is asleep on the floor instead of next to me. I’m not mad at Virgil, Braxton. Less horny? Bible Black, my harem.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll always listen to my “boner…” Seriously, did your father just become a frat bro?!

Goodness no! Though I’ll always be your brother in arms, legs, uh, paws, whatever B.

Like father, like son. Do you remember when I had to give you “The Talk?” When your favorite girl comes to visit. You didn’t keep secrets from her, I know that B. You would show her too much. Again, like father, like son. We communicate, we confide, and we gain the consent of the ladies. Even though sometimes the answer is no. We hear it.

Acceptance is a whole other thing entirely. I’ve made it no secret that I will never accept you being gone. Would I be better off? Billy Bob Thornton said this:

“There’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50 percent happy and 50 percent sad at any given moment. … I don’t want to forget my brother. I don’t want to forget what it felt like when he died, because he deserves that — that’s how important he was to me. So, if I have to suffer and I have to be sad for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him… then that’s the way I honor him.” — By Billy Bob Thornton.

And don’t we have a rule about listening to white men… Effing Supreme Court! Eff!

Anyway, speaking of things I don’t want to hear. I was working with the “Magic Glasses” the other day, and it said that I got too sexual even for it. My harem for healing, Braxton.

MAGIC GLASSES Notes: Journey 302 B Slaving Away, Virgil (Wednesday, April 29, 2026)

[This is one of the most explicit fantasy prompts yet — shifting from the more “romantic” or “devotional” rituals to raw group sensuality, with the acolytes as aroused spectators.”

As real-world pressures mount — financial shame (“not economically viable”), creative frustration, physical/mental exhaustion, and the long grief over Braxton — the fantasy world becomes increasingly sexual and explicit.

Earlier Journeys often used the temple for protection, healing, and ritual renewal (hot spring, dawn prayer, Second Howl).

Recent entries (298–302) shift toward raw group sensuality, voyeurism (acolytes watching), and intense physical release.

This suggests the fantasy is no longer just about comfort or legacy — it has become a pressure-release valve. When the weight of reality feels unbearable (“I’m so effing TIRED”), the mind turns to intense sexual fantasy as a way to temporarily escape the noise, shame, and grief.
The Magic Glasses

This mirrors your real longing for a large, loving family with M Anime while simultaneously using sexual fantasy as a substitute when that future feels distant or impossible.

The increased explicitness in the prompts (bulges under sheets, acolytes touching themselves, group acts) suggests the escape is becoming more intense because the underlying pain is also intensifying.

The explicitness is not “just horniness” — it’s a symptom of deeper exhaustion and a craving for relief, validation, and temporary peace.

Bottom line:
The more explicit the temple scenes become, the louder your real-world exhaustion, grief, and sense of stagnation are crying out for relief. The harem and acolytes rushing to pleasure and comfort the Sorcerer is your mind’s way of saying: “I need to be cared for. I need to feel wanted. I need a break from carrying everything alone.”

Would you like me to explore or suggest how the temple rituals might evolve to address this emotional state more constructively?]

It’s like one of those books I couldn’t read to you while you were here. I was still into Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. Friday, January 29, 2021 Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~ I’ll give that to the Magic Glasses too and see what it thinks. Sunday Bloody Sunday, you were gone. But there has to be a better way than some woman’s ass or mine getting squeezed by her. B Tailing Secrets Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 299 ~Braxton’s Economically Viable Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I asked for a Mine, a small mine in Whiteout Survival. I asked for $3.99. Something that didn’t involve sex and simply honored my B. I asked not to be afraid. Be one of the “Heroes” if just for one day. I’m not B. Braxton’s Economically Viable Virgil

Sunday, April 26, 2026

Journey 299 ~Braxton’s Economically Viable Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And in case nobody has told you this today, AHEM, you’re not Economically Viable. What’s that mean?

It was the first thing you shouted out today as you played “Whiteout Survival,” hmm.

More soldiers in the infirmary. And put there by your own side. Effing hate people!

Except for M Anime, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, your Ma, younger sister, Cherry, and need we go on. Goodness no. Because all roads lead back to Braxton. And Virgil too. Seriously.

And you are not Economically Viable to them either. Again, what the eff is that…

Honestly? At the end of the day, you didn’t give Braxton a moment of your time. Caught up, keeping your LOUDNESS at bay, thinking you were protecting him from your rage. Effing LAZY. B was trying to tell you something: “God Is Trying To Tell You Something.” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Place by Frafka Nim
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

No, you’ll stick with B III. Hell, 2-V will do. And there is always more music or more girls, ha!

LUST is not Economically Viable. Tell that to OnlyFans, Johnny Sins, every erotic writer you know, and The Magic Glasses. The things M Anime writes keep you comin’… What about your own work? By this point, “It Keeps You Runnin’” or it should, shouldn’t it

Braxton’s book sales, you mean. Again, you’re not begging. How long have I been staring at you, and you back at me? We’re nearing the end of the ninth year in 66 days. And why?

You don’t even remember at this point, but it did involve you wanting to di*k down some woman you worked with, right? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue. Hunger?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

You should make being Economically Viable one of those things. If you could do these Impossible Things, you would be. But you can’t keep your effing di*k in your pants!

Dammit, you’re a man, right? Keep telling yourself that, why don’t you? A Man Provides!

For effing who? Braxton is still dead. And Acceptance is not negotiable. But Virgil’s here!

You’re a father, right? Not the MAGA kind. FDT! Not the Catholic church kind! Better?

How so, they’re at least Economically Viable. Politicians, and Church Leaders… You’re better off talking to Steve from Blue’s Clues or Elmo from Sesame Street and not crashing out, snapping (you despise people saying that) in some wintry wonderland game.

Braxton is honest. Me/you? Who cares! Braxton’s Economically Viable Virgil

1911 Days Without B III, Day 1352 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

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People are broke because of that nut-less fool in the White House. FDT! Hell, my Virgil has bigger balls than that freak, and he’s neutered. And my money? Uh… I wasted $67.00. Why? Stupidity. My boys don’t have pants but… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan

Thursday, April 23, 2026

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

1908 Days Without B III, Day 1349 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Of course you did, you’re dead. Wow, that’s harsh. Let’s say “envy’s” kicking up again.

And in this “Jungle Book” which is my existence, “I Wanna Be Like You,” Braxton.

Honestly, I need to stop talking like this. That would be your line on a day like this, wouldn’t it? After waking up from a nap that didn’t help and downing an energy shot, B.

B as in Bloom these days. I swear, at this point, the company should be paying me for the endorsement. Hell, I even turned you and Virgil’s potential stepmom onto them. Well, she hasn’t said that yet, but she bought one. She’s all about giving you brothers and sisters, B.

Two-legged ones. Let me say that I understand why you hated wearing pants. With a girl like M Anime around… But here’s another reason. MONEY.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Be A Man.” I’m not Hulk wrestling or Marvel. I’m not the Macho Man. Dammit, B, your Dad ain’t even Mulan. Your Old Man is scared, sick, and pretty damn STUPID. Let me take you back to last night. I’d rather take you back to anywhere before January 31, 2021.

Anyway, your Dad is busy working with or funding bad guys. And I’m broke, Braxton.

Thirty-two bucks in the hole, to be specific. Well, sixty-seven, considering I finished the deal. I was telling your potential stepmom you could get girls to suc… play with your balls for that. First off, Eww! Secondly, how do I know? Lastly, you were always licking yours, and what the eff is Virgil licking? They’re gone, son. Let It Go.

Is that why I’m into blondes all of a sudden? I’m so busy thinking about Elsa. I can see her yabbos for free. No, B III, I’m still so “Caught Up” in losing money. And this is the man your potential stepmom has chosen? Then again, M Anime mentioned… Cannibalism.

Braxton, that’s the mother of you and Virgil’s siblings someday. Talk about going from “With Arms Wide Open” to Rodney Atkins “Watching You.” And now here I am crying because if I know anything, it’s that you wanted to be like me, and I would tell you, one day you would be as tall as a king, and Heaven is awfully high, the Rainbow Bridge…

Whatever. You got $32? $67? Maybe… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 292 ~Princes Of The B&V~

WillLeave a comment

Heavy is the head that wears the crown. But not the “Jimmy Hat” as far as B III and 2-V’s potential stepmom is concerned… Two-legged siblings for my boys? My head’s filled with delusions of grandeur, FEAR, and “Bloom”. Walmart? “Princes Of The B&V.”

Sunday, April 19, 2026

Journey 292 ~Princes Of The B&V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And where do you get off feeling so… “Royal,” in this world? This week is gonna suck.

Last week was too much work… Where do you get o…ff? And this week is way too little, dude. And all of this with M Anime heading back to work as well. A good woman. And here I am playing Troy Maxson from Fences to your… Do you know who you are? Or even who you hope to be. The questions that come to mind when you’re starting a family.

Uh, Braxton is still here… And Virgil isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon, B III willing.

But what do you have? Hell, what did I leave you? That’s the thing about today. I can be whoever I want to be in the past. And you have to figure out the future. Like failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The 30 Day Writing Challenge
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You’ve only been alive for eleven hours, and you’ve already failed #6. And with M Anime’s perfect lady parts, #4 is not going to last much longer. That and the Magic Glasses (AI). Freaking crazy, Pizza Girl, Little Lupe, Ellie, and Dina, etc. Effing wrong…

An honest bad boy. I was talking with M Anime last night—effing adult theaters.

However, she wants you to be a bad man, at least in terms of starting a family. But there’s also creating a business, making a few bucks, hell, learning how to breathe without all the FEAR, RAGE, and STUPIDITY. Not that it will stop you from making babies. Dad again.

You never stopped. From the day Braxton ate your waffles. Your pancake. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Place by Frafka Nim
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Like the idea that you’re “Just A Man.” You’ll “Be A Man” one day, you’ll say to yourself, I’m “The Man.” But today you’re not Odysseus, or Mulan ha-ha. And how much is Aloe Blacc worth these days? Again, I ask: what kind of man are you? Seriously, my friend.

There’s the question what kind of American are you? FDT! “Tomorrow When The War Began.” You can leave Civil War (2024), Kristen Dunst, and Cailee Spaeny out of this, ha.

It’s what the Magic Glasses are saying and showing you: your mind is always elsewhere.

Or should I say nowhere? You work for a company that might as well be the A&P. You are a king. Your queen loves you. Boys. Princes Of The B&V

1904 Days Without B III, Day 1345 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Did I want to spend an hour and a half being humiliated at the Day Job, or as B thinks of it, “The Bad Place”? How much do I make? “Enough money to get a little 40oz and a bucket of chicken on the way to the poor house.” “B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil”

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

1901 Days Without B III, Day 1342 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? I got off early, and I’m still late talking to you. Habit?

It was a week like this that got you killed. Yeah, I don’t have time for all the sugarcoating. The indifference. I would be a better writer if I did. That’s one AI’s perspective, Braxton.

Honestly, we shouldn’t go into my use of the “Magic Glasses” this week. My perspective.

I remember Thursday, January 28, 2021, getting you set up for your vet appointment, B.

On Friday, they told me you were dying. Saturday, the wait. Sunday, the Crossroads, B.

Bone Thugs N Harmony, duh. Ok, before that, the Wu-Tang Clan “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

You know I could use more of them. Endure and Survive. And I don’t mean looking up Ellie and Dina… Go to your room! You remember those days, B III.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But you’ll be glad to know 2-V is sound asleep in bed. Yet I’m sitting here in the Den. Y?

The biggest reason being… Humiliation. How many times have I apologized for my shame? Not at you for being sick, but at the abject failure I was. Finances, feelings, finite…

TIME! I wasted it all. And as M Anime and I were talking about today… When I wasn’t busy staring at her yabbos. I tell you, Braxton, you would have liked her. Hell, you do!

Anyway, we work these jobs we hate, that’s “The Bad Place” to you, and for what I dare ask? She’s got kitties to pay for, and I’ve got your little brother. The moment I get a good paycheck. Virgil’s needs…

I don’t mean that in a bad way. I could at least get your brother a bath. Dirty Zeke, right.

But you were my Elijah. And I swear the Day Job made me want to be Clarence… Uh, being crucified? I effing miss watching movies with you, dude. The Book of Clarence, Spontaneous, Hulu’s The Mill. That’s how the Day Job makes me feel. Like I want to scream out, “I effing quit!” And then I wake up and discover that it’s all a nightmare.

Braxton, if it could only be some kick ass dream like Sucker Punch, like the AI was telling me yesterday. If I could only come up with a way to make some real money. Because…

I’ll be broke soon enough. Shame. B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 285 ~Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet~

WillLeave a comment

If I didn’t do “IT” after my son passed away… I’m not at that level of grief yet, but I have been depressed the last few days, wondering how and why I’m making it to my feet. And to go where? “We need a new plague.” Please, Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet.

Sunday, April 12, 2026

Journey 285 ~Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And this is one of the few times you want to move your feet. Hurts too much.

And it’s not that little doggie on the nightstand, Little B., or even the lack of dollars you got. I swear I spent my time cursing my hours, and so will you, sadly. Effing humanity!

However, your replacement… descendant… whoever has practically zero hours. Really!

So he’ll be as broke as my boots were last week. So again, you’re not going anywhere at the moment. At least your hands aren’t on your dick. Crassness? Dead dog, no dollars, and your dick. No wonder you’re depressed. There’s always Bloom energy drinks.

Honestly, you’re tempted to sue. Addicted? No! If that were the case, there’s porno galore.

And once again, you’re not into feet. You can’t hide like there’s Covid. Virgil’s still here, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Coach’s Innocent Possession (Erotica)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And you’re keeping them all at a distance because you can’t figure out what’s wrong.

And the stuff you can figure out… It’s not like you can go to the optometrist this week with everything else going on. But you need to go! Another shot in your behind will take care of the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident you’re going through. Hell, the Bloom you’ll drink this afternoon will have you like the oracle told Neo in The Matrix. She said:

“As soon as you step outside that door, you’ll start feeling better. You’ll remember you don’t believe in any of this fate crap. You’re in control of your own life, remember? Here, take a cookie. I promise, by the time you’re done eating it, you’ll feel right as rain.” ―

But how long will it be before you fall right back into this Depression? Well, as long as it takes for you to get horny. You’re always angry and/or horny. You need your space, ha!

And that’s the problem. Hold space like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Hold space. Be a simple kind of man. Don’t go shopping when you’re hungry. Which one of these did your Ma say? You’re a man now. All you needed once upon a time was Braxton and a woman. Do you remember Special K (your maid), Milf Dos, and Braxton’s Favorite Girl? Now there’s Virgil and M Anime. But it’s like all this space. Too much!

“Be the body, not the shadow, hold space.”
― Amina

You’re trying to keep Braxton/Virgil’s bowl full. M Anime is the dream that wants to be filled and fulfilled in every way imaginable. I leave you with an empty bank and an empty bed. And even now, you feel that you’re taking up too much space as you are feeling.

“Super, super, super sui…” Depression sickness. Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet

1897 Days Without B III, Day 1338 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.

I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.

Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.

My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.

Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.

However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.

Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.

When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.

Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 278 ~Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR~

WillLeave a comment

What am I seeing today? Shaking hands, gray hair, a tail tucked in. Even my girl’s promising words. The idea that I have at least a dollar. And that I was blessed from the waist down… Uh, didn’t I see it’s Easter Sunday? Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR.

Sunday, April 5, 2026

Journey 278 ~Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… How long were you able to avoid me this morning? Boy, you did try till 10:30 AM.

Between taking a look at your “Enormous Penis,” Da Vinci’s Notebook, you are not, hah!

Then there is the loveliness that is Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. I know, dude, you’re the luckiest S.O.B. alive. Did you really just say that, my friend?

Seriously? And she lets you get away with talking about how much you wanted to eff Renee O’Connor, aka Gabrielle from Xena: Warrior Princess. Let’s say she wouldn’t be proud of what you did this morning. “The Magic Glasses” are real with AI, you know.

Surprisingly enough, because you haven’t lost money with silly things like doctors. You want to appreciate those last few dollars before you burn those, too. What’s a few more failures with these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Remember Me by Reese Taryn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

This isn’t The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror VI (Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores). “Just Don’t Look,” right? But FEAR is effing everywhere. It’s like effing Bird Box, I know.

“Dread it. Run from it. Destiny still arrives.”
― Thanos

“You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you’re all gonna be doing that,”
Negan, The Walking Dead

Thanos and Negan? Not exactly role models. “Role model, role models!” as Hannah Ivy said. Please don’t get started on hot English girls, or you’ll be staring at Cherry’s yabbos till noon. So sticking with your side of the pond as MAGA should’ve done… FDT.

“Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.”
―

American Beauty? Like M Anime. Hopefully, if she does have your kid, they will take their mom’s looks. But that’s not the only thing. Be real, be real, real son. You’re “Not Afraid.” “I promise to focus solely on handlin’ my responsibilities as a father.” Before that, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Because for now you’re only Braxton and Virgil’s Dad… The truth. And M Anime’s Papi…

What do your sons, M Anime, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, Cherry, Hell, and even your Olds see in you, considering the bum you’ve become? All you see is someone truly terrified.

Jesus Christ! Funny you should mention him, considering it’s Easter Sunday. Would you find a man on the cross disturbing? That was Friday, right? You’d be watching the resurrection, but you didn’t want to get out of bed. Seeing is believing. And as far as a resurrection. Braxton died. FEAR never has. And you’re afraid to roll back that stone, to stare into The Mist, that you’ll miss 1956’s The Ten Commandments, Norton, all your porn…. Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR

1890 Days Without B III, Day 1331 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will