Lesson 342 ~Happy Ending, Why Not~

What did I think I would be doing this morning; I wouldn’t call today a twist ending but more the normal state of things but aren’t I always hoping for more, but some writers have a distinct style. Happy Ending, Why Not?

Friday, June 8, 2018

Lesson 342 ~Happy Ending, Why Not~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Can You Love Me Again, don’t answer that, again I am stuck on the concept of never wanting to know or being too dumb to figure it out, so I continue to write the question over and over. How about the dark erotic novels I read that have to tell you right off the bat that they’ll be Happily Ever After (HEA) because some people might not be able to take it?

Maybe I’m lazy again not working on my books, or perhaps it’s just how they say if you want to hear God’s laughter, go ahead and mention your plans because even today there is so much writing to do, but here I am “Laughing With” God because I have to go out. A part of me wants to say I won’t give up but if yesterday taught me anything, sometimes “you gotta give it up to get off sometimes I know” you know “Stop.” I could say I should stop writing a story and start living one, but the thing is we know that story would have no happy ending in the long run, and even if my stories are mediocre I refuse to live that way in real life.

Do I even know how to create a happy ending anymore, you know “Temptations Road” even in that I couldn’t make a final decision, but in case anyone is reading this I won’t spoil it. Speaking of spoiling something, what happens once I reach 365 days of lessons, it’s not like I thought I would have discovered a way to make money with this blog… how did “22 Words” start, how about publishing a book; plans am I right Sophia. Today’s story is about preventing a tragedy with my dog, working a dead-end job, and making sure I don’t starve to death, in other words, groomers, bank, and chicken finally.

If anything I would much rather have a Twilight Zone ending or should I quote my newest rule, 265 The Twilight Zone Beats Friendzone, and talk about being torn between two places am I right. Even more so if you count all the worlds that I have made thus far and in July I’m planning on writing one more and then how about November and this all proves the pen is in my hand or keyboard under my fingers right?

Nothing like writing to give one the knowledge of godhood and people wonder why I talk about sex all the time, as they say, sex is all about power, and maybe I want that power like in “1984.” Happiness shall be in the eye of the beholder. I believe in such a thing as The End; Happy Ending, Why Not?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 335 ~A Little Write Longer~

Hold on just a little while longer; I told myself that at work, riding through today’s storm, and nearly every single day when it comes to waking up and I believe everything will be alight and why is that? “A Little Write Longer.”

Friday, June 1, 2018

Lesson 335 ~A Little Write Longer~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Can You Love Me Again, did you ever stop, and you’re only holding on for hope in something, so close to letting go but you just can’t because for some reason you believe everything will be alright? How many times this week have I mentioned “Detroit: Become Human,” and one of the things bugging me is “The End,” “And They Live Happily Ever After” or even if they don’t this story has torn me apart Lady Sophia.

What does that say about my writing, is that why I’m feeling so depressed besides witnessing the end of a great story, it’s like going to the movies without reading the book but in this instance the film is glorious, the game itself might destroy me. So many endings Lady Sophia but I’m trying to abstain, and then again I think about the end of my book. I read somewhere that the key to a protagonist is figuring out what they want and making sure they never get it; my main character gets plenty of sex but what about this thing they call love honestly?

“There are two types of tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want; the other is getting it.” Yuri Orlov, Lord Of War

I know I’m always repeating myself but what did I say about my habit of writing the problem over and over, hoping that the answer will someday come to me and even if it did what’s next. If I fail, if I succeed, at least I’ll live as I believe, Whitney Houston sang that but I’m not living at all, too afraid of both outcomes and that’s why I keep writing as if I indeed have much more to say. Stupid how I struggle for the words then and I don’t think they’re missing it’s only the fact that I want so much that The End is impossible and when it comes, well here’s today.

“I wanna stay inside all day
I want the world to go away
I want blood, guts and chocolate cake
I wanna be a real fake.”
Marina & The Diamonds

We’re not immortal Lady Sophia, them again “Don’t Fear The Reaper” instead he fears me but today how many times have I listened to this song. It’s like my new “Easy Street,” and the street is far from easy, passed right by the post office, got caught in a storm, etc. No one knows the future, only one more reason to be a writer, one more reason to live a thousand lives through art because this one life I know I have is going nowhere fast, but I’m moving forward aren’t I or I was.

So I’ll hold on just a little while longer, tomorrow hopefully will be a productive day but who knows the future, that would be writers, but frankly I’m tired and still, A Little Write Longer.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 328 ~Backstory, I Say Back~

Somebody once said that we need to remember our heroes but heroes can only come made from tragedy and while I write horror aplenty, or I’m “trying” to because I’m no hero, hell I’m no writer even, a hero’s work never ends. Backstory, I Say Back.

Friday, May 25, 2018

Lesson 328 ~Backstory, I Say Back~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Can You Love Me Again, I then ask when did I stop loving you, even when I saw “Solo: A Star Wars Story” last night but no worries this isn’t a review, because as you know, I have had some trouble writing those recently to be honest. On the one hand, it makes it simpler to keep writing my six impossible things but on the other, how creative am I these days.

I know “I’m Not The Only One,” as every day my country continues to burn a little more and notice I say (my country) because normally I’m not one to speak on patriotism, but it seems I have no choice, though I’m not in the NFL. Another day I’m sitting here getting ready to write and get caught up for an hour reading about more school shootings, someone knows praise for killing a shooter at a restaurant, and even Morgan Freeman is in trouble for sexual harassment. Yesterday “Cherry” even told me that my post was a bit like a conversation we had about sex some time ago, and maybe I was in a rush because I wanted to see Solo, more questions than answers.

A constant theme in my writing and maybe that’s what today’s lesson is all about, yet again, why is it that I never seek the answer but am forever reiterating the question, even now I find myself living out my past through someone else’s eyes. Don’t they say; you don’t know where you’re going unless you know where you’ve been and maybe the sad thing is I want to rewrite the past, the future can be all sorts of scary. Finishing a book I’m reading, or writing, wanting my childhood not to be so terrible because the future is looking far from “Glorious” and ain’t that something when wrestling would honestly get me going once.

Perhaps the last thing I need is anymore backstory, but at the same time I can’t go all “Clint Eastwood” fighting off my future, and yet again I’m a broken record with access to a smartphone but so is everybody else, take a look my job, bringing back the dress code. Job rules, my country’s laws, and to think I once said they could do with an update but as we are learning that’s not always a good thing right?

Who even cares if history is written by the winners, well rewritten and 1984 will come sooner than you think so should I look back, move forward, and what I’m doing isn’t truly living so if anything there is so much writing to do, no more Backstory, I Say Back?

“Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.”
― George Orwell, 1984 (1903 – 1950)

The Twilight Zone, Gabe’s Story

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 293 ~Words Without End Amen~

If God and whoever else wrote all they needed and said it why are they still talking our ears off; I’ve nearly finished fifty thousand words, and I know the ending is going to rush; what about a sequel… hah? Words Without End Amen

Friday, April 20, 2018

Lesson 293 ~Words Without End Amen~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today but could I be let’s say three days from now, no promises but less than ten thousand words to go; I’m making better time that I did on November’s NaNoWriMo. On the one hand, I can’t wait to finish with all of this, and on the other, I suppose I need a new depression on how I’m wasting my life these days and probably killing off some fictional characters to be sure.

That’s how I was in November; I finished my novel that to this day doesn’t have a proper title, and then there was just blah, no relief though I slept more, no celebration, and I even had to buy my victory shirt. These books aren’t supposed to be about paychecks and just like when I was in math class writing problem after problem, I “Don’t Panic” when these novels don’t hold the answers I seek. In fact, strangely my erotica has kept me out of trouble, keeping my computer on my lap and my hands out of my pants, just one more reason I’m going to miss novel writing truthfully.

Of course, I don’t have to stop, I’ve been thinking about starting off with a book of poetry, getting something published which leads me back to the math of it all, either the expense of all, the waiting, how about my laziness after such an undertaking as that? It could be the idea that I like to think that I have some wisp of a chance, hope can be as infectious as any other word that I write and like love is one I don’t understand. The only thing I’m sure of is that when it comes to talking or writing I’d preferably write, it’s just like talking to myself except my “father” won’t walk in at the wrong time.

Now I also sometimes mistakenly believe that I have so much to say and then I end up struggling, and it’s never for the right word, I will take anything, but no matter how stupid the world gets, my words will neither be accepted nor understood. No, I might be giving myself way too much credit as though I am some would-be mastermind and Indiana Gone makes it sound like everything will be okay “When I Paint My Masterpiece”… write.

If there was any god to pray to at this moment, I only want more words fifty thousand and beyond, yes Words Without End Amen.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 088 ~What Validates A Problem~

Bask in the glory, of all our problems as the song goes but what are we crying about because there is someone that always has it worse and we’re being selfish? “What Validates A Problem”, is this yet something else I can’t answer?

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Lesson 088 ~What Validates A Problem~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear but an answer to a question, how do you solve a problem, I mean any problem in this big wonderful world of ours and I answer, create a bigger problem.

I was talking to “M Anime” today and I feel really bad because I consider her a friend and she feels really bad for considering herself instead of others. Now why do we do that, we’re not allowed to feel bad because other people feel worse, what sort of world is it when we can’t even own what selfishness, I can’t worry about me because I have to worry about you? Don’t get me wrong, she’s dealing with something serious, her family is in Puerto Rico, but she can’t worry about her job because she has to worry about her family but is her worries no longer valid… problem solved.

How about those of us who are the problem, someone considered me a problem and then there was a hurricane and needless to say someone might have bigger problems which in turn solved my problem as well. If anything President Trump is a master at this, have one problem and then try to play the hero, but what happens when you cut off a hydra’s head? The only question is which head is worse, all of them are the same, all of us are equal so why can’t all our worries, concerns, and troubles, be ours without feeling bad honestly?

Then there are the problems we know we have, addictions, phobias, mental, physical, financial, anything and everything and we simply turn our backs on them, because we don’t want our problems we want someone else’s, we fail and that’s on them. If you asked me right now my three biggest problems I’d say swearing off any sexual activity, always worrying about my job, and seeing that Braxton is always looked after. Maybe that’s sort of what my novel was for, create a big problem for some future date so I don’t have to worry about the present to be sure.

Back in school, I would just write math problems, again and again, never having a solution and then I had bigger problems, my father beating my ass, failure, summer school… So what have I learned today, the more things change, the more they stay the same, a problem is a problem regardless of size, sometimes solutions fall out of the sky *shudders*, every single one of us Lady Luna, we are What Validates A Problem.

“Don’t make the mistake of calling what’s inside me worry. Good men worry. Men like me take care of the problem.” Noah Lennox, Beyond Series

I Will Have No Fear

 

Mind The Soylent

Heavy the head that wears… well, I have no crown to speak of as of yet but my mind is more than full of things that I can’t let out, truths that no one can feast upon and as if those ideas are eating themselves. Mind The Soylent indeed

Always keep a stiff upper lip
or a smile to zip
the answers to all the things you said,
all the things you said as if I ship

this crown that I pursue
like theses, white walls grew
to encompass the world and universe too
but the pillows on my bed

say off with my head
in league with the red queen
making me wish Soylent Green
was people, to stop a good old fashioned killing machine

which I had in mind

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 010 ~With A Little Help from My Friends~

If you can’t be loved be liked if not be respected, if not be invisible and barring all other alternatives you can always be feared. With A Little Help from My Friends, maybe it won’t ever come to that, though a fear of losing me

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Lesson 010 ~With A Little Help from My Friends~

Hey Lu,
I get by with a little help from my friends… not that I’m trying to follow pop culture this week but I fell asleep watching EWW Planet of the Apes, so naturally I have to get it out. To begin properly when I talk about friends I would scoff and say “what friends” but yeah I have a few actually.

“Introduce you to my friends I got to see if you notice
If they loyal or if they all got an ulterior motive” Take A Walk With Me, Joe Budden

I find that people that often claim, loyalty, honesty, integrity, patriotism, often have no clue what those words mean and the same goes with a friend. Don’t get me wrong I’m no better than anybody else, especially when it comes to ulterior motive… I swear one day Luna I’m going to get through a day without remembering the incident but yeah I did have a motive or just high hopes. I knew nothing was going to come of it but I can dream can’t I but I don’t find I dream about friends too often and family is more often than not a nightmare but let’s start with how I will define “friend” for real.

“I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we’re gonna hurt some people.

…Whose car are we gonna’ take?” – The Town (2010)

This right here is the epitome of the “bro code” and I’m sorry to say with the exception of Braxton, I don’t really have any bros in the physical sense, though I will count a guy here or there on Facebook. If anything I would look at Facebook as sort of a 3/5 Compromise, don’t ask me Lady Lu I suck at math and probably humor as well which explains my lack of friendship. Also, I hate asking for help, I don’t ask for help from anybody, even people I don’t consider friends, other employees and the like, part of that is Anxiety and OCD the other is if you want something done right, do it yourself, that’s just me.

“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers” – A Streetcar Named Desire (1947)

It’s just something about depending on people for anything *ahem* family but again I don’t count them as friends, I mean if they cut me off I might be back living in one of those extended stay death traps. On the other hand, they wouldn’t care if I went on another bout of sleeping pills or painkillers either so love… I would settle for anybody saying that they liked me.
He gets high with a little help from his friends, don’t I wish Luna, I don’t get inebriated around friends, well okay with Braxton and that just shows the type of dog parent I am and never more than a glass of wine or a beer, in dire circumstances really.

Okay what about the meds I take, those make me a better friend, maybe a more talkative one, I always get I’m such a good listener. On top of that, you don’t really want to be the guy that always wants to punch someone in the mouth, at least I can pretend and if I honestly don’t want to punch somebody that puts such and such on my higher esteem level just so you know. Now I have wanted to do plenty of other things to friends but then I wouldn’t necessarily call those people friends either, maybe I’m greedy.

“Friends don’t try to undress friends.” Notice

Take Sebastian and Danielle in Cruel Intentions 2, it is my firm belief that men and women can’t really be friends if there is any “chemistry” you know the kind between them, so what do you call me having so many female friends, damn Lady Lu I made my imaginary therapist a girl to what, give me the incentive to write. I have a solid friend here or there but even my “father” told me even if I don’t feel chemistry what about her… it kind of sucks.

Now since I don’t get, stoned, hammered, wasted, whatever with friends, how do I get high with friends; honestly I left happy years ago but a friend that makes me smile, is sort of a high. Some get me higher than others to be completely honest, some make me stop what I’m doing immediately to respond, others I’ll wait a bit, others hell are days away but they all do something for me. Maybe I should start comparing friends to my drug of choice and that would make Braxton a constant adrenaline rush which explains why when he sleeps, I’m right there catching up but I have another friend that would give him a run for his money, she knows.

Truthfully though when it comes to friends, well people, in general, I put them on what I call the Blackjack scale, what’s wrong with that I like Blackjack plenty.

I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends to like myself more and isn’t that what it always comes back to, that I don’t like myself. Yeah, I was reminded of that, me being skeevy and I guess through her eyes I just realized.

“The truth is, I can’t handle the idea of her not liking me. I can’t handle the idea of ANYBODY not liking me.” Melvin Smiley

Okay so the Blackjack scale, 21 is my absolute love, like, loyalty, what have you, for all intents and purposes I would die for you, and my being okay is linked with your happiness which pretty much means my dog. Lower numbers mean a lower esteem and there is not a person alive that has a 21 in my eyes hell when I get married, my wife and Braxton are technically going to be my Topanga and Shawn. If you asked me where I rank on my own scale… well, let’s just say there are reasons I don’t look in the mirror, and that’s some major anxiety don’t you think.

“How great is this? My favorite person*dog* in the world. And my wife.” Cory Matthews – Girl Meets World (2014)

The question remains, when did I stop liking myself and my answer is when nobody else liked me and that right there is a problem I know and a few people are trying to a degree. There’s a guy at work who asks me from time to time about my writing but I don’t see friendship there; nothing wrong with the guy but I see a conspiracy and my job is not above that because I’ve been a part of one here and there. Being friends though immediately correlates with being a boss which explains why I haven’t been promoted, they told me this; I’m plenty dominant, downright sadistic in other areas of my life but again, she called me skeevy, get over it right?

“And when all those people believe in you,
Deep enough and strong enough believe in you,
Hard enough and long enough it stands to reason you,
Yourself will start to see what everybody sees in you.
And maybe even you, can believe in you, too.”
Snoopy the Musical: If Just One Person Believes in You

So what’s the answer Lu, should I focus on myself, stronger meds because even this is a bad batch or work is just that bad; anyway start with me and if nobody likes me in the end at least I got Braxton. Maybe I should be the friend that everybody thinks I should be perhaps because it’s not like the guy I am now is winning hearts and minds who knows truly but with a little help from my friends…

“Under a tyranny, most friends are a liability. One quarter of them turn “reasonable” and become your enemies, one quarter are afraid to speak, and one quarter are killed and you die with them. But the blessed final quarter keep you alive.” – Sinclair Lewi