Saga 149 ~Here B Dragons Virgil~

I’ve never been on a cruise before, but I’ve been on a boat here or there, “Disney World.” I like fishing with my Granddaddy (the same man who says he doesn’t know me anymore.) And drowning is a messed up way to die. But “Here B Dragons Virgil.”

Sunday, November 27, 2022

Saga 149 ~Here B Dragons Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And money buys power. We can get all up in “The Untouchables.” But that’s not your problem.

No, not when you’re picking up dog shit on the concrete landing in the backyard. Perhaps you’re being a bit harsh with yourself today, which is sad. Nowhere to go and no one to see. So you’re deciding to be an asshole today. Anger beats the alternative. I was sad last night. And you? B would hate this. You always feel like crying over him. Only today, it wasn’t even thoughts of him that brought out your first tears. Asshole! Weakling? Still crying over your dead kid. No wonder some sailors took to the blue. Yesterday, where do I begin? Was it the fact that you still owe $2,541.00? Investment? There’s wasting time on so many games. Oh, and books. There remain Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING World War Z by Max Brooks
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

What was I looking for in these things? What are you looking for? Salvation, Redemption? Every week, I find myself wishing I could keep you right here. Sort of like with little Virgil. Hell! To be warm in bed. You keep imagining Braxton’s idea of Elysium… A bed in the yard, surrounded by food. A place Braxton could lie in the sun and then cuddle. Then there’s that need for him to get out into the world. If anything, so he wouldn’t hate it so much. Like father, like son. Whatever the Hell is out there? I survived the worst week Day Job wise, but you (sigh). There’s this song, “The world won’t get no better if we just let it be.” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Will You Love Me?: The Rescue Dog That Rescued Me
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures FOR My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I wish these were only words. Dammit! What am I talking about? They are gibberish. But you’ve seen the monsters outside that door. I was drowning. Inevitably it’s your turn. When one door closes, another opens… You’re starting to see that with Virgil Vivi. FEAR. You will be plenty anxious to enter the next room when you know what awaits you. The Day Job, Braxton’s Room, Bedroom, to the back yard. When was the last time I opened a door, and it was where I felt safe, or I wasn’t falling asleep? And still, nothing out there is worse than you. Your existence doesn’t need a map because, at the end of the day… No matter where you’ll set sail ANYTIME. Here B Dragons Virgil

665 Days Without B III, Day 106 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 148 ~Don’t Be B Virgil~

“You’re not my (son), and I sure as hell ain’t your dad.” Hell! If anything, I wish I could be my son. B III was the best man I know and wasn’t even “a man.” And now there’s Virgil, myself, in existence. We endure and survive. Don’t Be B Virgil.

Saturday, November 26, 2022

Saga 148 ~Don’t Be B Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And how I wish I had been when Braxton was lying around. Ain’t he still, Lunalesca?

It doesn’t stop me from being a lazy, lustful loser, now does it? “I feel stupid,” as the song goes. How STUPID is that? You know how I told Lady Sophia I needed new books? Um, I cut off the laptop without choosing a damn thing. Lady Lu, I did sample Ibram X. Kendi’s work “How to Be an Antiracist.” Sad, I wouldn’t have thought of it if it wasn’t for a Kindle Challenge. Hell! I might read it because Ted Cruz is such an asshole. Hating “Antiracist Baby?” But no promises. I need to improve at keeping those Lunalesca. Disgusted at myself for the moment, but we’ll get to that. Like writing for NaNoWriMo? I wasted this entire month, and if Braxton could see?

I haven’t been reading anything on reincarnation. And with the Kindle Challenge and some Christmas Erotica. Oh, that’s the last thing I need with not keeping my pants on, Lu. Not for longer than a day, Lu. I rather wank one out than get fucked at the Day Job daily. Again wasn’t I telling Lady Sophia that it hasn’t been that bad these days? What! Because I can still sit down? The things that we can use to. And then, of course, the new guy. Virgil Vivi is nothing like Braxton Barks, as much as I wish it. Was my faith not strong enough to bring back my son? Do I need more to cry about today other than lateness? Lunalesca, sleeping the day away.

The only thing 2V and B III have in common. Because what else is there to do as I sit? When Braxton was known as Neo, I was about “his training.” Me playing Morpheus? Now with Virgil, he’s in Braxton’s room as I speak, waiting for me. Training, Loving? Lunalesca, I haven’t told him as such because, to be honest, I don’t. The very day I got him didn’t I count all the reasons? Braxton says this couldn’t be more “black and white daddy.” The color around his eyes. How I love Braxton’s eyes. But seeing who I am? Inevitable. I’m not a good man. Braxton believed that, and where is he now? Virgil’s alive. Please be my Braxton! But then. Don’t Be B Virgil

664 Days Without B III, Day 105 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 142 ~B Lying Sometimes Virgil~

I can’t stand liars. Looking in a mirror… I’m about to fall as I can’t look at myself. Telling the truth. I don’t live; I exist. I take pleasure as I’m in constant pain. And yet, for V and B, it is/was the best day ever. B Lying Sometimes Virgil

Sunday, November 20, 2022

Saga 142 ~B Lying Sometimes Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I’ve had to lie a lot until I can’t anymore. Because it’s your existence now.

Well, at 12:00AM. So uh, you’re the one that decided. And for that, sir, I salute you. I was perfectly ready to lie yesterday. And Hell, before you pat yourself on the back. You’re going to lie in a few. In one way or another, it’s all in your head or not. Um yeah, you failed. Which is worse? The fact that I couldn’t keep it in my pants after everything. I’m not one to make it “special.” What guy is, to be honest? With me, it was a big-titty brunette. Reading though? Learning, education. You, friend, are about to lie about reading a short story because you can’t deal with the thought of my failure. How some things end. Like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Wool” Part 2, The Graphic Novel
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 038 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

How about how things ended with B III? You can never forget your son. Though again, you’re all caught up in Triple X. You’re telling yourself everything will be okay. Oh no, not this week. At this rate, inevitably, you’ll find a way to hate all fifty-two. Well, it beats hating every single day… There’s the week Braxton died. B’s Birthday Week. Um, Father’s Day and his birthday. You remain a “man” who can’t take care of himself. At all! Bills lying somewhere. There’s The Menu and One Way Out… but we’ll get to that. There’s your existence day, ha. Should you add “Gotcha Day,” where you met Virgil? Your betrayal of B is complete. There’s so much; I cleared my head. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined “Chills and Thrills.”
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Trying to get back on point. The Menu and One Way Out. I’m thinking about that one chef who wanted to be the CHEF in the movie The Menu. And when he realized he couldn’t have that life… BOOM. Then there’s Andor Ep. 1X10 “One Way Out. In the prison break scene, when Kino Loy leads the escape, but then, upon getting out, he can’t swim. Existence is fucking confusing; I know. But the point you want to make is this. You’re lying to yourself about everything being okay. Look at the world in the few hours you’ve been awake. Twitter, Trump, JDF, more shootings, and disgusting fathers. Fucking swear. Braxton was tired, and you’re keeping Virgil from the outside world. B Lying Sometimes Virgil

658 Days Without B III, Day 099 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 141 ~ Don’t B Dumb Virgil~

A man said, “men are idiots.” I tell M Anime that plenty. B III and I were/are for 15 years, but we understand each other. I don’t get V. Or the “man” I face in the mirror. Yet the village idiot is asked to teach, train, and talk. Don’t B Dumb Virgil

Saturday, November 19, 2022

Saga 141 ~ Don’t B Dumb Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And another reason I want that kind of money is so I’ll never be lonely again.

“And every day I wake up, with a naked lady,” as the song goes. Battle Cry (feat, Just Blaze, in case I forget, ha-ha. What week was it I complained of being all lonely, dear Lu? At the end of this one… I have come to know that there are worse things. Oh, B III’s still dead? Ain’t that the truth? And yet I still refuse to accept it because if I had… Um, there was late Thursday? I picked up V and studied him a bit. As I did 98 days ago. How I failed Lu? That’s what this week has been all about. My loneliness hasn’t gone anywhere. I’m not jerking off as Virgil stays in Braxton’s room. As I said, worse things.

Lady Lunalesca… being looked at as stupid is something. To be stupid is fucked up. Stupidity, to me, is a virus, the worst kind. An addiction, obsession, an infection I have. Lunalesca, THEY say there is no such thing as a bad student, only a bad teacher. I look back at Braxton and me. How many times have I said I learned to speak Braxton? I knew when it was okay to sleep. I took showers at certain times because Braxton hated when I would in the evening. My muscle memory. When I go get a drink, I grab Braxton’s bowl. And now I have all this knowledge for a future that doesn’t exist. V is not B, I don’t think. Still, the name… Virgil.

V’s not guiding me; we are both stumbling through this Hell together, asking, now what? And it would be one thing to destroy our lives, Lunalesca, but people don’t understand. Take any zombie film, and I would instead die than risk spreading the virus to anyone else. And that’s stupidity. I’m a fucking monster, and then people want me, infecting. Lunalesca, you saw what B III was and how dare I do that to V. Train the dog, hmm, Lu? He doesn’t do stairs or potty on the pad, And Hell, the only sounds he makes are hacking up a lung or crying. Why? Because he doesn’t understand? Lunalesca, same. But we keep going like slaves because IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH. No! Don’t B Dumb Virgil

657 Days Without B III, Day 098 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 135 ~Virgil, Lies Will B~

B III was/is searching for comfy spots constantly? Because the lies are heavy. They crushed him. And we were always together because we could share the load like we did everything else. Things V believes about his forever home… “Virgil, Lies Will B.”

Sunday, November 13, 2022

Saga 135 ~Virgil, Lies Will B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I hope when you get on my level. Ha! “Neva Eva.” You’re no fraud, a liar.

That’s how you woke up this morning and plowed through Hugh Howey’s “Wool” The Graphic Novel. You wish you’d stop thinking about plowing, pushing, pulsating, and punishing your penis. It gets no easier; only you can stick with punishment as penance. Braxton is still dead. You haven’t had much time to lie about that. Not with Virgil here. I wonder where you’ll fall on the reincarnate or rescue scale. V is his own man, hmm. Last night I had my first dream about him that scared me something awful. It was only opening the front door and letting him run out. He wouldn’t be coming back. I know that much. So what did the dream mean? That you’ll protect Virgil like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Hugh Howey’s “Wool” The Graphic Novel
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 031 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 038 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

For the first time in a long while, I nearly failed at reading something. What was it, I said, a fraud and a liar? Fuck! I did fail! Again, you finished the short story this morning. And it wasn’t in the “Chills and Thrills.” And I read it before. But because it’s a graphic novel. While we’re on the subject of books. What about NaNoWriMo? I was trying to make it through the week talking to the girls. And you? I don’t envy you at all. This week, oh no. Yet you want to buy one of those T-Shirts that say, WINNER. And even though nobody would care… You do! It’s supposed to mean something; your writing. But then again, you see Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined “Chills and Thrills.”
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 038 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You call yourself a father, dad, daddy. No, not to 2V yet, but always with B III. But are you? You call yourself a writer, but who reads this stuff? How about publishing today? Uh? You have a Day Job, but you’re no worker. You’re a slave, terrified about “escaping.” Every night you lie down, you say you’re going to rest, praying for death. But what about the little fur baby lying beside you? It’s more like he takes up the center of the bed. What does he tell himself? What lies must he create for himself to keep going? One more reason dogs can’t talk; one way or another, there will be a lie. The biggest being it’ll be okay. Virgil, Lies Will B.

651 Days Without B III, Day 092 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 134 ~B Wait, V’s Weight~

I don’t think I ever dropped B III once in his life… it’s “funny” that Virgil continues right where he left off. Because he doesn’t do stairs… yet. Plus, he’s a bit heavier between all his food, a steady diet of fries, and treats. B Wait, V’s Weight

Saturday, November 12, 2022

Saga 134 ~B Wait, V’s Weight~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so there might be a drug I can take or some sort of machine… These memories…

I almost did it again today, Lady Lunalesca. As I was coming into the house. You know how I would always call out. “Just me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? “Good day?” So I stammered, but I got the V out. I’m sure Virgil didn’t care. Belly full of fries and all. Hell! If I weren’t going to see Black Panther: Wakanda Forever again, I’d be sleeping. Lady Lunalesca, that would be better than what I want to do. I’ve been going nuts? Wow! Did I have to mention nuts? Surprise, surprise, what I’m thinking about, right. There were times Braxton had to wait in his room forever. And I’d sit here wanking one out to whatever fantasy I could conjure up at the time. Mouths, Titties…

If only I could get that time back. I should make a list of reasons not to jerk off. Honestly:

1: I mourned when my son Braxton Barks Bradford died

2:I am afraid he sees me wherever he is.

3:It is my punishment for failing as his daddy

4:I want the time back leaving him, while I…

5:He never met the woman who’d be his stepmom

I can come up with a few more. Lu, I’m still determining where these came from. This brings to mind 2 things. Manuscripts and music. I’ve had an earworm all day Lu. The King of Wishful Thinking and Lead Me Home. Sometimes I imagine it’s B’s playlist. Another list incoming

Well, on Spotify, sooner or later. One more thing to distract me from V. We’re out of the three-month window. And I’m sure I’ve talked about the good, the bad, and the ugly Lu. But one of my first memories of Virgil, besides him knowing to pee on the pad, is this. I called him a fatty. And this, my Lu, led me to my first cry of the day, holding B as he died. Um, I ordered his “execution,” but do we need to go there right now? Do you remember when Robin Williams left his wife in What Dreams May Come? Does B want to leave me alone? And Virgil is trying to get bigger, so I see him? B Wait, V’s Weight

650 Days Without B III, Day 091 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 128 ~Plan B’s Wicked Virgil~

“It’s a wicked world that we live in. It’s cruel and unforgiving.” I will vote on Tuesday, but how can I be expected to focus on the wickedness in this country. Jack’s is worse. My Day Job… a million times worse. Forgetting B? Plan B’s Wicked Virgil.

Sunday, November 6, 2022

Saga 128 ~Plan B’s Wicked Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Because I invested in contraception and family planning. Hell! Virtual cunts? Such language outside Australia. What’s wrong?

In a word, EVERYTHING. But first, on the understanding that this isn’t only us talking. This isn’t a shot at Plan B The Morning After Pill. You’re Pro-Choice. Women’s bodies… Only let’s talk about your body. If you have a reason to stay alive, it’s to look after 2V, ha. And maybe the chance that you’ll get to meet M Anime someday. Or any other woman, for that matter. I’ve been there. Done that. I would have broken. If it hadn’t been for the RAGE this past week. And you? Well, the week’s only begun. Don’t leave the house; that is the advice I offer. And considering most weeks there is nothing… Listen, Repeat. Don’t leave the house for anything. You wish. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Girl in 6E {A Deanna Madden Novel) A. R. Torre
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 024 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 031 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Notice that five out of six can be accomplished from where you’re sitting. Somehow, #1 didn’t even matter this week. I read it, but it didn’t count toward the Year-End Kindle Challenge “Chills and Thrills.” Not even with “What You’ve Finished.” A win that wasn’t a win. You can add what happened at Jack’s to the list. I got your $10.00 back, if anything. Humiliations Galore will follow even when you’re right. Um, it’s not ok. It never is. Also, there’s the fact that I haven’t prepared you at all for this week. And on top of this truth, you can’t stay in the house because of the Day Job. There’s the Election, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, and the Day Job bullshit. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined “Chills and Thrills”
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 031 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Is the SLOTH that we have shown, be considered wickedness? The things I’ve done? No. It’s this whole damn world I have left you to. If I were a better man, a man at all… Only I wasn’t the monster either, and neither are you. You’re nothing. That’s fucked up. You could continue to be jealous of the successes you see every day. Your failures! Inevitable. And it’s only been seven hours. You didn’t even notice the clocks went back. No wonder you’re awake and raring to go; more time to rest. But you don’t. The world is a wicked place. And all your plans to survive it, writing, Stuff & Thang, women, no go. Braxton and Virgil keep you here. Plan B’s Wicked Virgil

644 Days Without B III, Day 085 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 127 ~Virgil Can B Mad~

“That’s my secret Cap, I’m always Angry!” Or horny? Asking the Day Job; I’m always quiet, stupid, and good for a damn punchline. I’d tell B III that, minus the horny. I keep Virgil far away from my rage. Or I stuff us full of fries. Virgil Can B Mad.

Saturday, November 5, 2022

Saga 127 ~Virgil Can B Mad~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I swear I want to go all Count of Monte Cristo on the world’s ass.

My son is DEAD! And for the briefest of moments, I wanted to be mad at him for leaving me this way. I’m not. But the only thing that brought me any comfort. Lunalesca (sigh)… Braxton Barks Bradford is dead. Yet I’m still breathing. If I can survive Braxton’s death… Well, I can endure anything. This is a long-winded way of saying FUCK THIS WEEEK! And I’m about to have another one as well. Virgil Vivi will too. It’s why I stuff our faces with fries every day. Didn’t I say that I don’t have any money? Lunalesca, I don’t. Inevitably, we soldier on. And speaking of Mariah Carey, “But inevitably you’ll be back again.” Haven’t heard “All I Want For Christmas Is You” yet…

Not at the Day Job. But last week, I talked about getting out of a Friday shift. Yes, I failed. First, there was the fact that I was doing a job I wasn’t prepared for. It all stems from stupidity. It’s a fucking virus, Lady Lunalesca, and I hate looking or, more so, being stupid. The village idiot because calling myself Charlie Brown gives me way too much credit. Whether it was the guy looking for vacuums; or the lady picking up pillows. Or the old woman looking for the petite section. A reason I want money. A stupid allowance. You’re likely to spread idiocy around. I refuse. Yet they want me to train others? Braxton wasn’t trained, he knew. Virgil… I ain’t the daddy.

Oh no, Lu, I’m nobody’s daddy! A pair of tits and ass won’t make any of this right for me. But I still want to see Cherry’s big tits. As the song “All I wanted was to see her naked.” With great horniness comes “great vengeance and furious anger.” Not that I’m trying to sound like one of those INCEL fuckers. It’s more like dealing with any type of addiction. It makes the world comfortable, reasonable, and survivable. Lunalesca, I don’t want to survive anymore. But I can’t take my anger out on the Day Job. And not little Virgil. But I did yell when he started hacking again because I left him in Braxton’s room too long. Infected with RAGE. Virgil Can B Mad.

643 Days Without B III, Day 084 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 121 ~V Life Can B~

What do they tell the soul when they try to sell life? Much like the Day Job, the doc’s office, and Onlyfans, I’ve wasted time and money trying to preserve it. My own existence… Then I tell V to get in the car. B made his choice because V Life Can B

Sunday, October 30, 2022

Saga 121 ~V Life Can B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you? Well, for you, what can I say? Life can be hard or will be, whatever.

And I thought my week was. Hell! I didn’t do anything to prepare you for this one. Well, sure, a note on the time clock. Um, there was that chicken Saturday. More harm than good. I am curious to know how Braxton did it for almost 16 years. When did I want to end it all again? And you? Waking up in tears seems to be your new normal. Only day one of a horrible week. Yet when Virgil Vivi sounded like he was about to go into a hacking fit, I had the nerve to say, “Be Brave.” You remember that show “Eli Stone” and how they said “Live Brave.” Now that sounds like solid advice. But you exist; I failed. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet” Moira Allen
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 024 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Because life is hard. You see, the week I had Dammit! When you look in the mirror and see your messed up teeth… It’s with all that grinding I did. Trying to smile. It’s Inevitable. For all the people around you. Assholes! And yet you’re the one that’s going to get fucked all this week. I’m not being very helpful, am I? So now you know how Virgil Vivi feels. Fuck! At least he has an excuse. He has no balls, but you? If it wasn’t my filthy ears. Or the meds that did nothing. You got one thing from me: one big case of blue balls. Ha-ha. I can’t blame you for looking at porn. What else is there for you? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Girl in 6E {A Deanna Madden Novel) A. R. Torre
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 024 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

No wonder you’re chosen to reread a book. To think there was a time you thought OnlyFans, your Stuff and Thang would save you… You’ll be giving the same speech. Remaining the selfish bastard you are. What about poor Virgil Vivi? With your Day Job. Do I tell you to be grateful that you still have it, considering the schedule? And what about NaNoWriMo? You have to finish talking to Lady Sophia. And then there’s Lu, the Wife, Echo, B III, and Lady Sophia again. And don’t forget, there’s no food in the house now. All of this while feeling you’re going to explode. Madness, Masturbation, Manuscripts. I don’t know what to tell you. Life can be endured, survived, or left. V Life Can B

637 Days Without B III, Day 078 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 120 ~B Keeping Secrets Virgil~

“‘Cause two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead,” like the song. What secrets did I tell? I’m mad as Hell; my body is on fire, and the sunlight burns. V wouldn’t understand, and what isn’t he saying. This is “me” time. B Keeping Secrets Virgil.

Saturday, October 29, 2022

Saga 120 ~B Keeping Secrets Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now; yes, and no. Pretend TWD’s on, I don’t want to get fired, I’m looking for porn.

That is to say; I don’t want to talk about B III this Saturday. What can I say about 2V? Dearest Lady Lunalesca, I was in tears last night as I called for Braxton to take his pills as always. Never stopped me from talking about him before. But with all the writing to do. There’s a book I need to read. And as far as going out? I need food and, um, Friday, Lu? Isn’t this what killed Braxton in the first place? No, I did. And the whole damn world, this existence, were my accomplices. Lady Lunalesca, already I can’t stop thinking about my boy. I promised I never would, after all my indifference. Oh, add that, getting back from the Day Job.

Anyway, my point is, let’s not talk about the fur babies Lunalesca. Braxton knows better. So what do I want to talk about? So like that scientist in 28 Days Later. It’s all about RAGE. I’m trying not to say his name, but I remember after. I was dead, well, no. But I wished I was. And I do now. I’ve said before that when I go to bed, I go over Far Cry 5. Lunalesca, I know I don’t want to wake up in the morning. I shouldn’t. If It wasn’t for… AHEM! Hell! I should have done “it” before. When I was all alone, Lady Lunalesca. But I hate myself so much I keep existing. And as for everyone else… FUCK ME! (Sigh)

Or rather, how the song goes, “Let’s Talk About Sex.” Now ain’t that something that’s always on my mind? Even yesterday, with NaNoWriMo coming up, I was thinking about a prequel to the Cherry series I’ve done. Not like I’ve read through the other novels. Lunalesca, I keep saying I’m way too busy; which is a good thing? It keeps me from being a monster, as I told one of the girls yesterday. A zombie, a vampire, the infected. Nothing is taking the edge off when it comes to my pornographic passion Lady Lunalesca. If I told you everything, oh Lu… What! Do I still want to get into the Second Circle of Hell? Secrets. Betraying Braxton? Treachery, The Ninth Circle. B Keeping Secrets Virgil

636 Days Without B III, Day 077 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will