Tale 239 ~I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil~

A new week, another sin. Though I have talked about my envy before as if I’m some teen girl. Uh, I could talk about my body. But I see the young woman with her writing and her cat. The two writers with new series, etc., “I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil.”

Sunday, February 25, 2024

Tale 239 ~I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And is this what you said to me this morning? Or to Virgil Vivi. Didn’t think so.

And you wish you could say it to B. Nothing is stopping you. Well, except for reading yet another book about dead fur babies. That’s after reading about another’s birthday.

To watch others be successful with their furry children, and where’s Braxton? In a box. Virgil is still with you. I should count him as a success. Yet, like me, you stood out in the breeze waiting for Virgil to give a what… Bathroom humor is beneath you. You think?

But what about jealousy? That’s what last week was all about, “Hey Jealousy.” And you’re not only thinking about the kind between a man and a woman. You were looking at this woman and her boyfriend… husband in Tokyo this morning, though. You should turn off Instagram. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

But you have more chance of getting to Japan than finding a woman like her. How about ever being in love? Virgil knows all about that. It was cold this morning, but that’s not why V was shaking. At least not all of it. But he needs a coat. Don’t you think? Where’s the money?

I wasn’t a thinker. And you’re not holding out much hope for yourself or the world. At large? I swear, when you’re not looking at the failure you are, you can cut on the TV. There are endless stories of people’s failures. Or a person winning with everything in life.

Everyone else has got FAMILY. A guy is TikTok FAMOUS. And FINDING books… Uh?

And you are? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Losing A Pet – A Book of Grief & Recovery, etc.
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

My biggest win last week was finishing a book about harems. And there was watching “Five Nights at Freddy’s.” That was, at the last second, serving as a worthless excuse.

Today, I’m unsuccessful because… well, fill in the blank, dude.

And this week, as you work for the pittance to keep you alive. And you see Logan Jacobs and Eric Vall prospering with titles. A new audiobook and series, respectively. Speaking of looking at the phone. You’re reminded of how much of your time I wasted. I am Guilty. Sigh…

You’ll be guilty of being unsuccessful, and why? Laziness, Lust, and Liking those that DO…

Because it won’t be you, lying with Virgil singing If I could “Be Like That.”

Wanting a dad, wanting a son… I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil

1120 Days Without B III, Day 561 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 238 ~Virgil’s Catching Some B’s~

A vet told me what took B III. I know what took B. And I can only hope the sleep I gave him… Hell! It would be a fitting punishment if I never slept again. Or I always sleep alone. Let it be an exercise in futility. Anyway, Virgil’s Catching Some B’s

Saturday, February 24, 2024

Tale 238 ~Virgil’s Catching Some B’s~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Once upon a time, I listened to this motivational speaker, Eric Thomas, talk all about sleep.

Mainly regarding rich people making their wealth. Is there any wonder why I’m not? Lady Lunalesca, I would rather be wherever BRAXTON is, in the BED, or BENEATH some girl.

But my boy always comes first. And I haven’t been hearing his voice lately. A song here or there, maybe. Only I’m much too lazy to do anything about that. I should say, Sorry, B.

Yet that word has been raining all over these babes I’ve been talking to. And no, it’s not about my proficiency in the bedroom. I’m pretty proud of that, my dear Lady Lunalesca. To be honest. Can’t I leave my pants on for a second? Getting a haircut requires concessions.

No, I’m not trying to sound all smart like Cherry.

That’s not me being a douche. I don’t even have the energy. But I find it so I may read Cherry’s stories. Speaking of tales, there’s still Princess Tamer to finish. A book every week.

Only how many will I read before I join B? You don’t know how badly I wished to take his sickness upon myself. “Let me take his place somehow.” As the song goes. But no.

Luna, I do not close my eyes to pray but only to sleep. Hell! I don’t see the future. I take that back. I don’t see a bright future. I did hope for more on Valentine’s Day. Have we ever talked about that? Yet it seems that M Anime forgot about me. Who’s Epstein Barr?

Or instead, what is the Epstein-Barr Virus? Let me say as someone who values Physical Touch as a love language. Uh yeah… I’ve got nothing. I’ll be sleeping alone, Lunalesca.

Virgil is hiding in Braxton’s room doing anything but sleeping. Because if he were in here, he’d be an old man way before his time. B deserved his rest, Lunalesca. Which is what his aunt wishes I would do with my sadness. Give it a rest. Though she’s no different

Lunalesca, I did see pictures of her on a beach, though. Smiling Faces Sometimes… Not that she’s betraying me or anything. I mean, she’s been down for some time, Lunalesca.

Stupidity is a virus, along with sadness and sex… It’s tiring. Virgil’s Catching Some B’s

1119 Days Without B III, Day 560 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 232 ~Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil~

Where’s my money? I’m sure the Bug guy. My Olds still paying for a BOY, not a man. And some girl with Big Yabbos are asking me. And what about my boys? To honor my son’s life and to keep Virgil alive. Tax “Refund” indeed. “Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil.”

Sunday, February 18, 2024

Tale 232 ~Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Only slightly richer… I swear it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours, and you’ve already wasted eight bucks.

Pray tell, on what? Since the critic won’t care to critique these words anyway, sigh.” (Doing your best impression of Emily), “He-He Tiddies! Or is this bill my fault? Hmm. To be fair. I didn’t cancel the subscription. And you’re not going to either; “SubscribeStar.”

But for the briefest of moments, the tax refund windfall… Just over $1000 felt incredible. And today, you have to figure out how to waste it all. There’s so much out there. It’s like choosing which set of Yabbos will get you off anytime. We’ll get to that failure, too.

Because you’re sitting here in bed. Notably earlier than yesterday. And what was your first thought of the day? Braxton, Virgil, dirty books, and dirty pillows. But Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
    Completed… “Outbreak Rising” Lara X. Lust
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I swear this was the closest I came to failing one. I was lucky; I had over a buck for Amazon. Outbreak Rising. And you even read some of the Princess Tamer Collection this morning.

As far as two and three. I always find a picture of B III. And while you’re up earlier, in more ways than one. Thanks to HaremLit and Cherry. How much writing will you do?

Of course, I failed four. Braxton’s aunt was showing off her great ink for her love, which was fantastic. Five.

Should you even bother with six? Again, look at where you are. Think of everything you’ve done from four AM to now. You’ve failed already.

Forget being poor in money. In spirit? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The only thing that beats being lazy and poor is being afraid. Be Not So Fearful. My advice to you. Nope. That would be Braxton. And Virgil? Thou Art Courageous.

There are things I want to say to you. Sigh. You know how I am with lists. But right now…

Hell! Once you pay off the termite guy. And if the Olds don’t come looking for what they deserve. Yes, you are thirty-nine and still a spoiled brat. What comes next? B III was easy.

Three years, and you will always remember that $600 windfall from the government. It went straight to Braxton’s test. And then for paying the boatman for Braxton’s safe passage. Sigh.

Money’s the root of all evil… Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil

1113 Days Without B III, Day 554 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 231 ~Later V, Later B~

I’ve said this so many times. The last thing my son would hear before I left out the door was, Love ya, B, Love ya, Braxton. Now replace later with love, and you have V’s days. But as far as loving myself? Nope! It’s always later. “Later V, Later B.”

Saturday, February 17, 2024

Tale 231 ~Later V, Later B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And even if that happened… At this very moment, I would already be late. Braxton’s gone.

Well, I have one more year… Hell! You could give me “A Thousand Years.” It’s not the “1st of tha Month” yet. And you’ll always hear me singing about “Another Day…” I’m sorry about the playlist, Lady Lunalesca, and critic. I had a terrible nightmare during my “cutting off alarms” nap. I needed something to take my mind off things. So there’s that. And also I’m listening to Lofi Girl. Looking up more songs will make me even later. Sigh.

Not that I have anywhere to be today. This whole week, it’s been the Day Job. And keeping Virgil and me alive. If he and I have anything in common, it’s this one question. Why?

The both of us spend more time sleeping than anything. That was great for Braxton at fifteen, but Virgil will be four. And that’s if I make it to forty. If anything happens to me… In the best-case scenario, Virgil goes back to the friends he left when I “rescued” him. If only I had been later, Saturday, August 13, 2022. Virgil, AKA Archie, could have had better luck than meeting me. But no! I continued to search for Braxton’s reincarnated self. But, like God, I was wrong. Way wrong…

And I’ve been feeling wrong for quite a while now. 1112 days. But today, Lunalesca…

I knew I was late. Yesterday, on Thursday, February 16, 2023, was The Cherry Collision. Lunalesca, that explains why I was so hot, hard, and horny looking up Kininaru Kimochi. Better the hottest girls in the nastiest situations… Wraith Babes?

Then again, I wish I could have the woman I love telling me she’s late. But I have yet to find her, Lady Lunalesca. Again, at my age, why bother even going out? There’s Virgil.

Only I still want to see my B waking up late. He could keep the Grim Reaper waiting a little longer. Lady Lunalesca, 2025 was going to be the year. Would I be ready? Ha!

I’m not ready for today. On top of everything else, I still have to read one whole book today. But everything comes later. Or it’s me being a “Lazy Ass.”

As the late Carl Weathers, AKA Apollo Creed, said, “There Is No Tomorrow!” So… go outside? Later V, Later B

1112 Days Without B III, Day 553 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 225 ~WILL B Gaming Virgil~

“Can we go out and play,” B III would ask whenever I was writing, wasting game characters or waking up. And then he got ancient. B’s 19th birthday is on Tuesday, but he only saw 15th. And 2V? Does V even know how to play? “WILL B Gaming Virgil.”

Sunday, February 11, 2024

Tale 225 ~WILL B Gaming Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. No helmet, face paint, or even tears. You’re not watching football “per se.” Or invading the Capital.

And Braxton? I cried about him a little yesterday. And you’ll cry buckets on Tuesday. Wednesday will be a crapshoot. You’re not looking for love from any chick. Virgil’s here. V has safety, security, and something in Braxton’s dish. But Love? There should be more!

I mean that. And yes, I blame myself. When Braxton was here, you could pretend you were an average guy. There should be buffalo wings, shrimp, chips with salsa, everything.

Hell! Braxton was\is everything. You don’t know whether you want this damn month to be over. But then again, since you continue to count the days since Braxton’s passing… 1106 days and counting. I’m glad that you have better Math skills than I did last week with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Red Rising, Possibly?
    Completed… Red Rising, Backyard Dungeon 5
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yes, it was a HARD week. Will you ever stop making jokes like that? According to your bank account, you should. But no. You can’t buy “Backyard Dungeon 6.” Entertainment? You will find little of that today. Unless the STUPID Bowl commercials have improved this year. Again, why can’t you enjoy a bunch of muscled millionaires making their way up and down the field? Or at least find the time to play a video game. Or even just read about it? Besides checking for cash, you look for books to read. So what’s next? Hmm.

There’s “Princess Tamer” and “Golden Son.” THEY won’t be talking about real women or your son. Only you can write about them. But your “Lazy Ass” with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You can’t be a regular guy. And be excited for what today will bring. Well, here come the tears. You’ve given up on being positive. Your son’s lack of existence and your continuing to do so. No wonder you need a distraction. Because I know I had plenty. But you?

Are you looking for advice? There are two things I want to say. But an energy shot is stopping one. And Braxton’s “Shrine” sits above the second. Braxton’s Life Matters, that’s how you end things every day. Your son’s memory, manuscript, and the man, the Dad he loves. What happened to that man? Virgil asks that or dreams about it.

No advice but a question. “Can You Come Out and Play?” WILL B Gaming Virgil

1106 Days Without B III, Day 547 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 224 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Getting Fired~

“I See Fire.” But trying to keep that raging inferno away from B. I didn’t know how cold I had to be. By Sunday, B’s body was cold. On the 4th there was fire. Three years ago today, there were ashes. Being B’s Dad. Yet Virgil, Braxton’s Getting Fired

Saturday, February 10, 2024

Tale 224 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Getting Fired~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… But that doesn’t mean I can make a joke out of everything. Slavery, Insurrections, Braxton’s Cremation…

Only this is the second thing that came to mind. The first was possibly getting fired for whatever audiobook I decided to listen to yesterday, sigh. Lunalesca, what is today?

The calendar says Saturday, February 10, 2024, but here I am on Wednesday, February 10, 2021. I get a call. And they tell me that I can pick Braxton up. Well, what’s left of him. Eleven days prior, I had already received my “walking papers.” We regret to inform you that your services as a Dad are no longer required. We wish you the best in all future endeavors—no Lunalesca. There was only a bill… And their condolences and a few pamphlets on grieving. A lot of good those did, right Lunalesca? Beta Reader…

I am not. And I should probably be talking to Sophia about my reading selections. Yet, all of 2022 was about mourning my lost boy, and I couldn’t begin to tell you about a particular book. They all blended. And I still feel like this. Oh, but some person asks about HaremLit, and I can name dozens of titles with a review here or there.

Then, it was around seventy days in. When I was ready to fight with my boss. Because all I wanted to do was listen to B’s playlist and cry. That was nearly a job lost.

But being Braxton’s Dad. I swear, Lunalesca, I cannot deal with people. I’ll burn people before I set books to the torch. Speaking of which…

As I think of my boy burning… That was on the 4th. Now, I’m only the King of the Ashes. Anyway. I was nearly fired again because I tried getting with a girl at work. But that was while Braxton was still alive. Hell! How could I have fed us if that happened, Lady Lu?

I got fired as a client because I tried to hook up with the maid. Special K, I swear, Luna. Years ago, I was fired as a college student because I couldn’t stand such humiliation. Lunalesca, that’s a long story. Then I have friends, Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, and Cherry.

And what about Virgil? Can somebody be fired for friendship? In life, you get burned. But Virgil, B’s Getting Fired.

1105 Days Without B III, Day 546 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 218 ~B’s Counting On V~

I don’t bitch about, ban, or burn books because they’re “woke” Is the GOP still using that word? But if I ever came close, it would be a math book. Learning to count the money I don’t have, the boy I lost, or the boobs I’ve seen. “B’s Counting On V.”

Sunday, February 4, 2024

Tale 218 ~B’s Counting On V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. And besides looking at yourself, there are worse things? Braxton not breathing; your bank account and numbers…

You mean numbers in general, not just money. But yesterday didn’t help matters. As Lamar put it: “Give me just enough money for a little bottle of 40 ounce and a bucket of chicken on the way to the poor house, huh?” Replace 40 with Powerade. And bucket of chicken with a bag of tacos. Uh, like, you don’t have a box of chicken in the fridge either. I swear you need a better job. But did you see the Day Job schedule? I don’t think you’ll be seeing freedom anytime soon unless you drop dead sleeping. Not economically viable.

But again, money isn’t the main issue. Hell! Between January and February… Sunday, January 31, 2021 will always be the worse. Sunday’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Red Rising, Possibly?
    Completed Uh, Exodus by Imogen Linn
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

How could I focus? And how will you? Do you see what day it is? Sunday, February 4, 2024, sigh. But no, we’re talking three years ago. I survived two of the worst days of this existence. But don’t worry, little brother, there are more.

Thursday, February 4, 2021: Braxton’s Cremation
Wednesday, February 10, 2021: The Collection of Braxton’s Ashes
Saturday, February 13, 2021: Braxton’s 16th birthday, now 19th
Wednesday, February 14, 2024: Valentine’s Day

Are there any more days you need to be worried about? Besides the next two weeks with the Day Job. And speaking of being a man. You need to change the air filter soon. And if you have cash, Special K’s birthday is on the 25th. Nope! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Red Rising, Possibly?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You haven’t talked to your former maid in years. Hell! If you were a “certain type” of man, you could write a book. And then speak on FOX News after Special K sues you. Ha!

Oh! And books! Are we not going to talk about how you read Exodus… Again, it was not the Bible but the one with uh nuns and priests, and it was only 53 pages long. You are lazy. Only there’s still Red Rising, which is 401 pages. What are you doing with this existence? Are you waiting for Satan’s Sorority Girls 5? And while you’re doing that, you’re sleeping. Fifteen Million Merits, NXT Vengeance Day today, and The STUPID Bowl on the 11th, too. Counting the days without Braxton… with Virgil? B’s Counting On V

1099 Days Without B III, Day 540 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 217 ~B Third’s Place Virgil~

Braxton, Money, Porno, Virgil, Sleep… I could be President, repeating five words. But comedy comes in threes. Or tragedy? B III, Virgil, and then me. And when it comes to existence, I’m usually not even in the race, but “JSS.” B Third’s Place Virgil.

Saturday, February 3, 2024

Tale 217 ~B Third’s Place Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… But that would still fall behind my Braxton. And my love of beautiful buxom… never mind.

At least I could enjoy all three from the comfort of the bed, Lady Lunalesca. So why aren’t I there right now? “Lonely as I am, together we cry,” as the song goes. This is the first tune for today. What will be the second and third? Braxton’s playlist? Honestly? I’m a bit too tired to think about it, Lu.

To never sleep again… That would be a fine punishment. Considering what I was doing around this time three years ago. And I know I keep saying that, Lady Lunalesca, but here I was Gospel 217 ~You’re Killing Me, Will.~ I was confessing to my crime. Or rather, three sins. Misanthropy, Murder, and Madness. Hell! Nowadays, I take first place when it comes to the people, that I… never mind.

What’s with all the censoring? My favorite critic has been awfully quiet. Other than recommending that I get professional help. But that takes money. And that’s one more reason I’m up so early. Not that I’m headed to the Day Job to make pennies. I have some shopping to do. And when was the last Saturday I was up and about my dear Lady Lu?

Virgil is sitting in my lap. And what would his place be in this existence? If you and the girls have been listening to me this week. Virgil would be the middle child right now—children, the three of us—Braxton, Virgil, and me. Only Virgil hasn’t learned to pretend.

What? To be a man.” Now Braxton was Lady Lunalesca.

Who was I talking to about “The Cress Theory,” I heard in “Baby Boy.” I’m not going to get all political today. Again, Lady Lunalesca, I’m exhausted. I was planning on getting six hours of sleep. But what did I do for at least an hour? And why was I up at 5:00 AM instead of 4:00 AM? Oh, I was up, and seriously, Lady Lunalesca. Say It! Never mind.

Though I might have to look up some of those beats used by “Love Wolf.” I swear I am a sick “man.” Which would be right on brand for me, considering my searches in 2023. Saga 217 “Nosey About Virgil, Braxton.” Listing out Japanese “animations.

Writing, shopping, preparing for the 4th. B Third’s Place Virgil.

1098 Days Without B III, Day 539 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 211 ~(Sonday) Someday, B, V~

If I had a favorite song now… It’d be that bit from Fifteen Million Merits “I Have A Dream.” But years upon years ago, it was Sugar Ray’s “Someday”. Long before Braxton, but I sang to him. Maybe Someday I’ll see him again. (Sonday) Someday, B, V

Sunday, January 28, 2024

Tale 211 ~(Sonday) Someday, B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. And yes, I’m making up words like I’m making up what happens today. Thursday, January 25, 2024

But there is not a someday for this. Forgetting. Three years ago, on Sunday, January 31, 2021, I watched my firstborn son, heir to my throne, defender of my kingdom, die. I hear no debate coming from you. I was twenty-one years old when Braxton Barks Bradford stepped into my world. And as you face existence, it’s been 1092 Days without him. Inspector Echo would have a field day with all the crimes I’ve committed against you. Hell! You didn’t even know her. I wasn’t supposed to make it out of my twenties. And here you are facing thirty-nine. But at least you have no tears to spare for that now. Hmm. Someday you’ll be forty? I don’t want to be, not like this. Never saving anyone? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Epiphany, Imogen Linn?
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Someday, I’ll be great enough to do so. It’s what I would tell myself and B III all the time. To be someone that could survive my fears in Gospel 211 ~Say The Word Willie~. The last time I would talk to Dirty Diana —first, my son and then her. I wasn’t even thinking about Braxton that day. If only I knew what that Friday held. Someday came so soon.

Where was I in 2023? I was deep in Saga 211 ~Avoiding BS… B, V~. I didn’t have any luck with that, with my granddaddy dying and all. And all I had to do to survive to get you here. You don’t owe me any favors or thanks. Unless between Thursday and now? Feeling lucky? But there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Red Rising, Possibly?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Someday, you won’t be sitting in bed talking to yourself, sweating, sniveling, and silent, waiting. For what? The simple answer is for the guy to come and fix the blinds. Embarrassing. Yeah, that I couldn’t save B III from the someday I knew was coming? Someday isn’t someday for you anymore as you look at me and I look at you. Time is running out. And I don’t mean to rush and put some clothes on so I can continue this miserable existence. Whatever happened to all my positive talk? Do you see what day it is? THEY say someday it won’t be so bad. You still have three, as I’ll waste mine, I know. But do it for Braxton. SOMETHING! (Sonday) Someday, B, V

1092 Days Without B III, Day 533 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 210 ~B Free Before Virgil~

The last freedoms I gave my son… Freedom from food deprivation as he starved himself. Freedom from his fool of a father. And the freedom from fighting one more day even as he looked at me begging to stay. No, his daddy’s a slave. B Free Before Virgil

Saturday, January 27, 2024

Tale 210 ~B Free Before Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… I said that three years ago. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Yet things have changed. Not war! “War, War Never Changes.” I had to quote, “Fallout?” Anyway, what would I know about war? “It’s no surprise to me; I am my own worst enemy,” as the song goes. But about the things that have changed from the time of B III.

Three years ago… 2021, Gospel 210 ~Will To Break Free~

The crime I feared I had committed was nothing compared to what I was doing at that moment. Braxton was dying and besides fear… There was anger, rage. My INDIFFERENCE!

Last year… um, 2023, Saga 210 ~Mediums B, V, Granddaddy~

Hell! I wasn’t any better as I had forgotten about Braxton in his hour of need. My exhaustion and, again, INDIFFERENCE made me forget Virgil.

To be free of my boys. To be free of myself. If I was going to “Do It!” You know what I mean, Lady Lunalesca. Let me sing, “Feeling super, super, super suicidal.” Though, to be honest. This morning, I didn’t even need the alarm. I downed an energy shot first thing as well. So there goes the alarm-canceling nap I indulge in. Ok. To have such freedom, ha-ha. Speaking of freedom, “mine” lasted from Monday, February 1, 2021, to Saturday, August 13, 2022. What a way to put Braxton’s passing and Virgil’s arrival. 1091 days and 532 days, respectively.

Freedom is something I hear about nonstop these days. And those who say it have no idea of its true meaning. Like I do, Lunalesca?

Was I free on Thursday, January 27, 2022 Lunalesca? Chronicle 210 ~Getting A Bye B~. I’ve avoided talking about that year for the most part because it was the first year without Braxton, or nearly. Freedom not to care. People are slaves to everything Lunalesca. Somehow, it’s liberating, an exercise in freedom, to choose who, what, or why we serve. Like I haven’t given you enough pop culture today… “A man chooses, a slave obeys.” Lunalesca, “In serving each other, we become free.” And that was my life with Braxton. As much as I felt Fear, Fury… um another F was nothing because of fatherhood. Lunalesca, Braxton came first. Without him, freedom’s a word. Fear, obsession, pain, sadness, I’m a slave. B Free Before Virgil.

1091 Days Without B III, Day 532 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will