Tag: Bedroom

Meditation 022 ~B It Yesterday, Virgil~

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What happened to the man she married? She hasn’t met him yet. Or should have met him way before this. Losing B? Depression? Age? I met B III “When We Were Young.” 2V had lost puppy status when we met. But we’re both children. “B It Yesterday, Virgil”

Tuesday, July 23, 2024

Meditation 022 ~B It Yesterday, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And let’s get this out of the way. “Honey, why you calling me so late?

It’s 7:30 AM, so where have I been? Would you rather I say I was with a girl or communing with the spirit world? Definitely the latter. After everything yesterday, I fell asleep with all the lights on. Don’t we tell the kids we aren’t made of money? You don’t compare one kid to another, but they should be like Virgil. He was conked out until about 4:00 AM. That’s when I woke up, turned off the lights, and he went running off… Braxton, of course, appeared in my dreams. And that’s why I’m late. Father and son quality time. I miss my B. My beloved “pet” who passed away.

Always and forever. And I wouldn’t have to if I hadn’t failed B. I just read a book saying that’s not true, but still… Belief

Knowledge is stronger than belief. And here I go with my pop culture shtick. I’ve been watching, reading. And yes, writing about men doing whatever was necessary, sacrificing their comfort and desires, to provide for their families. That’s right.

All to provide, protect, and live their purpose. That’s when it comes to their family. A woman’s place is in the home… That’s yesterday’s thinking. I stand on the principle that a man provides for his family. If I’m somebody’s Pa, father, daddy, whatever. I do what must be done. And I don’t need God or an emperor telling me so. B would expect nothing less.

If only I could be who I was when he was here? Well, somehow, someway, I got you. And when anything good happens. That’s B.

Looking at the bad days, I constantly say I survived the worst. I lost my firstborn son, and I survived. It doesn’t make me stronger, and Virgil can tell you I’m not smarter. But I’m here. I am always here. And that’s not enough, forever. You deserve more, my love.

Inevitably, I open my eyes and see men that do such things with love. Sometimes they succeed, sometimes they fail. But all I know of myself, this father, friend, and fellow you married, is someone who forgets how to put one foot in front of the other. Like following Braxton. And I stopped doing that 1269 days ago. I need to lead our children. I need to walk beside you. Now? B It Yesterday, Virgil.

1269 Days Without B III, Day 710 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 015 ~B’s Accidental Bedroom, Virgil~

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I just want to go to sleep. Waking up? Eww! And bedtime… whenever that is. It’s awesome. But everything in the middle sucks. Missing my boy. Messing up manuscripts. And checking out the mountains. When B wasn’t around. B’s Accidental Bedroom, Virgil.

Tuesday, July 16, 2024

Meditation 015 ~B’s Accidental Bedroom, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? My love for you is deep and unwavering, my Dear. I hope you always feel that. But love, as they say, is a journey. And sometimes, I worry that I’m not moving fast enough on this road of love. Is that my roundabout way of saying why I’m late today?

Better me than you, right? I love all our children, my Dear. And I know you do, too. Virgil is still with us. And I don’t plan on giving him up… ever. But as far as looking for a dozen…

I am not. Now, fifteen is my favorite number… And there it goes. I find myself constantly drawn back to my firstborn son. My Little Braxton. When he left “me,” B III was fifteen, on the brink of his sweet sixteen. It’s a pain that never truly goes away. I miss him every single day, Baby Girl. Always and forever.

THEY say never go to bed angry. I come to bed hot, hard, and pretty hurriedly. The first two are for you. But I do love my sleep. And sometimes, I don’t dream about Braxton.

Braxton doesn’t belong here anymore…

What I mean is this? My son has a lot of comfy spots. A box on the nightstand. The Rainbow Bridge? There’s the place in my dreams. You know, the big fluffy mattress surrounded by food, with one open side so he can run out into the sunlight and play. The last? There’s the dream of him on the beach with us. You and me, we have three two-legged legged-kids and two four-legged-kids. Five kids total. But I keep looking at Virgil. And I think.

I should stop thinking in bed. This is a place of rest. But today, I was late because I was busy writing here. This got me thinking about everything I shouldn’t be doing in bed. Yet, here I am, love.

Crying? Once a man has a family, he shouldn’t cry in bed. I would save it for the car. But where exactly am I going this week? And what about crying in one of the chairs downstairs? Don’t cry to give up. Cry to keep going. That’s from Eric Thomas.

Motivations? It doesn’t help to listen to them while sitting in bed. I should go back to listening to Bikini Days from Audible. Oh! That’s another thing. I shouldn’t be spending money in bed. Not when I have you, Baby Doll, saying, Oh my God! Was that a joke? Anyway, I don’t kneel on the floor beside our bed either… praying? God didn’t save Braxton.

Depression? Dreams? Ding Dong. Lost to B’s Accidental Bedroom, Virgil.

1262 Days Without B III, Day 703 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 364 ~Virgil Will B Happy~

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What would have made Braxton happy was not good for him. I could have told the vet to pump him full of drugs that would make him dive face-first into his food. But that’s not what happiness is. The dictionary skipped it. As did I. Virgil Will B Happy

Saturday, June 29, 2024

Tale 364 ~Virgil Will B Happy~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Or at least I was until I spent forty dollars on Virgil’s medication. Uh… What (BLANK)!

If only Braxton knew what that was like. What about some lady friend of mine… Lunalesca, there’s M Anime. But I still think about Cherry’s Yabbos. And that’s the thing. I tell myself that I’ll gladly pay for some woman sans her clothing but at the end of the day… Well, I misspelled healthy because, hopefully, Virgil will be with his medicine. But B had some meds of his own for his heart. And kidney failure took him from me.

So, as the song goes, “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” But it’s not even that, Lady Lunalesca. And, happy? It’s just a word. A word that eludes me. It’s not getting any easier. But with my Little B III?

Whatever I was with him… I want to be that again. Instead of joining him?

I’m trying to avoid that, Lady Lunalesca. Which is another reason I bought Virgil’s medicine. Now, there’s no medicine for what I have. Sleeping pills? Do you want me to join Braxton today? I was planning on going to the movies. Strange, I’m sure, but that won’t make V happy. Ha! So we have meds, me going to the movies. A woman’s mammaries? For sure!

B had all that when his “honorary” aunt was around. Braxton couldn’t stand the maid. However, I didn’t want her standing either. Kneeling? Is that all I can think about? Lunalesca, I’m trying to find a reason to get out of this bed other than Virgil being hungry, healthy, or helpless. Happiness never factors into the equation for me, Lunalesca.

Hard, Horny, Horrified, that’s existence. Braxton Barks Bradford deserves happiness. Virgil Vivi Bradford? Their full government names. My only “sons” so far in this world.

Lady Lunalesca, I find myself in a world that doesn’t bring me joy, a world that makes me yearn for Tyrion’s wish for his Ending:

“In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my cock.” ― Tyrion Lannister

Even then, Lady Lunalesca, would I find happiness? If I could go to bed at night feeling proud of what I accomplished in the day. But I’ve squandered this one, and it’s only 10:00 AM. I was up at four. And what was I doing? Would I be happy if it was something productive? I’m only relieved Virgil didn’t force me out of bed. But since he was here, I could only read. So, hooray…

Naughty books, M Anime’s dreams, nightmares… Virgil Will B Happy

1245 Days Without B III, Day 686 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 357 ~We’ll B Lying, Virgil~

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I know the truth when I see it. Sigh. The Man in the Mirror says, “I’m not happy.” Virgil’s eyes ask, “What did I do wrong?” A couple of women are thinking, “Eww!” So, I’m not lying when I say I want to sleep a little longer. “We’ll B Lying, Virgil.”

Saturday, June 22, 2024

Tale 357 ~We’ll B Lying, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And with all I want, whatever it takes to bring Braxton back, my wrath, and women.

Lying here asleep would be in the top ten. It might land right under bringing back my son. And if I didn’t have a billion, it would be under-joining my son, B. Like this, Lunalesca:

I Don’t Have A Billion

  1. Be The Person Braxton Thinks I Am
  2. Join Braxton On The Rainbow Bridge
  3. Sleep Longer… If Possible

I Have A Billion Dollars

  1. Bring Braxton Back From The Grave
  2. Save The World…
  3. Rule From Bed

Which is where I find myself today. The things you can do on a full stomach and an empty… That’s something else I’m lying about. I’m sure I told Madam Justice about reliving some tension as I gazed at a particular girl the other day.

I can’t stand lying. But I don’t care to lose either. I swear, Lunalesca, I could join a particular political party. But I refuse to be the next Clarence Thomas, Tim Scott, Byron Donalds, or any other sell-out. But isn’t that a lie as well? For the right amount of money, Lady Lunalesca. No! The things I would do for Braxton’s life. Anything! Everything! Lunalesca.

But it wouldn’t even take all of that. Yesterday, all I wanted was a steak and baked potato… And pasta and lobster. But haven’t I been saying that I’ve been broke all week? My Lady.

Yet I bought everything you see and the book Backyard Dungeon 12. Lunalesca, I keep saying I make bad financial decisions. First World Problems Sigh.

So I can tell the truth when I want to. But every day, I have to lie more, Lady Lunalesca. Whether it’s the words that come out of my mouth… One more reason I would rather be alone with my boys. Braxton or Virgil? Braxton wasn’t a liar. And that Lunalesca is a comforting thought. My son would show you exactly what he thought. I don’t know about 2V. Awkward?

As we both lie here, Lady Lunalesca, I can’t help but feel a deep longing for solace. Virgil looks to be content, but I wonder if he truly is. I tell myself I don’t want to join Braxton, but the world outside is filled with lies. The truth is a luxury we can’t afford. It seems… We’ll B Lying, Virgil

1238 Days Without B III, Day 679 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 178 ~Willing A Plan B~

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A quiet Christmas and a quieter day after. Someday excuse me one day; I hope they’ll be some bleeps and bloops around the house. Maybe my kids might play outside as I did, or they’ll be reading and yell at authors. “Willing A Plan B.” Plan A’s better

Saturday, December 26, 2020

Gospel 178 ~Willing A Plan B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or so I’ve been planning for a while. Okay, so one sentence before the bad this morning. Well, it can’t be any uglier than the stuff going on in the country, right? My one big gripe about today is I meant to wake up earlier, ha. Plenty of motivations say things like, you have to make a plan, set goals, let’s not talk about dreaming. My Dæmon and I do far too much of that—neither one of us imagining sugarplums dancing in our heads. Now I’m going to have to look up a sugarplum; wow.

Yesterday wasn’t so much, but I’m going to tell the whole truth. My only real plan for Christmas Day was waking up at 7:00 AM.

Say it with me, Fiddler on the Roof fans (ahem) TRADITION!!! I also made cooked shrimp and baked potato for dinner. I’ll cook steak someday.

This brings me to my point but let’s continue with the Christmas recap. I talked to Lady Sophia, who has inspired me to write, SIGH “Happy.” I’m not talking a full story, somewhere around 7500 words. It could also be the ongoing Christmas novel reading. Of course, I took a nap; went shopping at Amazon for Indiana Gone and the Dæmon. You know my favorite TWO. I caught Ragnar the Terrible in Far Cry 5. Um, I got back into watching “Into The Badlands.” When I was young, I planned on being a Kung-Fu Master.

Again my point. I want to become some legendary writer, and I should read, of course. Still, I can’t get it up to write a happy story. Hell, I love zombies but won’t write a new intro for The Walking Dead guild. Now I talk to you and the girls daily, but I’m sitting in bed. Yeah, Plan B is I’m going to be unloading trucks for the rest of my life. It makes me think of what Will Smith said that having a Plan B distracts from Plan A.

Our Founding Fathers to Rick Grimes, and Marcus “DBH.” Liberty, Victory, Freedom, or Death. Hemingway said to write the truest sentence. The Beatles sang about taking a sad song and making it better. Is it a coincidence that the story I’m reading now has a Jude? Yeah, but I’ve written so much sadness to downright evil. A Tale of Innocence?

“Happy,” Willing A Plan B.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 171 ~High Noon, Hi Will~

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Talk about living on a mattress, or maybe I’m Linus with his blue blanket or more like my hoodies. Trevor Noah stole my style. Anyway, I better be up before January 6, and if that goes well, the 20th. “High Noon, Hi Will” who wakes up to fight?

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Gospel 171 ~High Noon, Hi Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would still spend every afternoon in bed. I’ve spoken about what gets me up and going. On my Christmas list, I said I wanted an island. Only by all accounts that might mean a gigantic bed. Hell, why did I get up now? My Dæmon’s demands, such as “I’m Hungry, Thirsty, need to go Potty.” I can at least say that makes me better than the Trump Administration. Let’s not get into January 6 or the 20th. I’ve still got my gun, but again I’m not some Trumptard gun nut, well, not yet.

Nobody gets up to die, right? Well, okay, I don’t get how cowboys did it back in the wild west. I mean, yeah, so we have soldiers, police officers, frontline personnel. You’re asking, why am I so political? As I said, lying in bed, watching YouTube and killing the Dead. What about cultists, hmm? I’m on the final mission of Far Cry 5, “Where It All Began.” Since I’ve been delving back into my gamer roots, I’ve only beaten one game on the PS4, Detroit: Become Human. So what did I do Friday night instead of fighting Joseph Seed? Hmm? I’m starting to think I’m incapable of finishing anything. The past few mornings, not counting today, I’ve woken up early to read before falling back asleep after my 15% quota. Not that it’s anything to brag about considering the length of the books I’ve read.

I keep telling myself, I’m trying to learn but are any of these “Christmas” novellas going to help me? The last book I read with any “educational” value was Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I meant to tell Lady Sophia before I should go back to writing reviews. Only all the books I read are considered “inappropriate.” So that would explain the books I’m writing, and I can’t finish those. If I can survive today, I’ll actually score one more win on Six Impossible Things. Yet again, I was on my belly in bed crawling like some slug. As my motivations say, you did not wake up to be mediocre. I was supposed to have so much more accomplished by now. It’s like NaNoWriMo but with my whole life. I finish 50’000 words, and then what. Uh, nothing.

Dumb Ways To Die… waking up. High Noon, Hi Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 344 ~Write Side Of Will~

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I was telling a doctor once that he should work on his bedside manner, told my kid’s vet the same thing, but life has come out of many a bed as well right. Still, I’m usually too busy talking or working. “Write Side Of Will.”

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Log 344 ~Write Side Of Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means a big bed. Of course, I think of this for several reasons, but when it comes to our children and us? When it comes to my firstborn, you know he’s pretty much like Cyrus from The Warriors. “Because it’s all our turf!” Little Toughie.

So let me start by asking what side of the bed do you sleep on? Did I have to ask you the first time you and me… Anyway, it’s like back when I had my HORRID Day Job. If I slept on my back, it meant I had work in the morning. On my belly, I could relax. Lying here, if I jumped to the right, it was going to be a bad day; to my left, there was time. With that being said, I sleep on the left side, I suppose. All I know is that I want to be touching you. Does that make me sound romantic or obsessed? You would insist I was both, and that’s why I love you. I’m not like Asa Jackson from Too Late by Colleen Hoover. He loves when Sloan sleeps on her belly naked. I’m not an over the top control freak. Okay, usually, I do have ideas, non-decorative bedroom concepts.

I don’t fancy myself as disagreeable. The one that always has to be right. Of course, as you know, I don’t like being STUPID. I left that far behind me at the last “Day Job,” I’ll ever have. Would I rather be right or happy, and again can’t we have both? Hell, in my line of work, give me joy, jubilation, and as the song goes, he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus. I do, however, wish to talk like a gentleman, except for maybe in the bedroom. You must be asking, have I been getting enough sleep these days.

Well, I am sleeping with you babe so… Yeah, there is no getting around the problems in our country. To state in plain, a black man, a white woman, but we make it work, don’t we. To play another song, “we all the same color when you turn out the lights.” Besides my manuscript and music, my mouth runs a bit too much when we should be resting. How about doing other things as well. I love you so, on the Write Side Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 337 ~When Will Talks Sheet~

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Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t left my bed other than to take my son for a walk, and because my “father” came by *shudders*. If I could finish just one book, I could make money in my sleep or do other things in bed ha. When Will Talks Sheet.

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Log 337 ~When Will Talks Sheet~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t brag about it. Indeed before I met you, what my son would hear is “Just me Baby Boy.” Follow that up with a sigh of relief, and that’s the end of the day’s events. Oh yeah, what about my writing? Am I a hard man to know, yep. I swear I’ve given old bosses a death stare. If I had my way, the phrase “How Are You Doing” would be outlawed. Daily I’m still struggling with Rule #2, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Considering my work, can you blame me for being speechless?

As the song goes, “Saving All My Love For You,” and that’s not the best example of marriage. Also, you’re probably sick of me, speaking through songs. Another reason I love you because you wouldn’t say that. And I Will Always Love You for that. Well, I guess that’s enough Whitney Houston, but should we talk about my lame writing? Yeah, I know by this point, a few bestsellers, some movies, a flair for titles, what about my new script? I want to apologize for having you act like my beta reader most days. Must be tiring. Even though our bed is still my favorite spot in the house… for many reasons. In younger days, I heard a woman say something about bedrooms. The better your bed, the more a woman wants to stay there. Again the focus of my life and I still wish to stay here with you.

Now you ask me why with everything going on? Is the world still such a scary place? Baby Doll, I still have nightmares of my life before. When I close my eyes sigh I could wake up and where would you be? To me, you’re like some superhero with or without her cape. I’m like a sick man dying, and you both give me Fever, with your Bad Medicine, Baby Girl. Only and I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I would say, “She’s Got Skillz. Yeah, this is why I don’t write jokes for a living. My Love, in Between The Sheets… yes, I’m cutting off Spotify… I don’t want to believe there is anything between us. You’re cooler than the other side of the pillow, “what’s my age again,” the last one?

Paper, Bed, Only You are times When Will Talks Sheet.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 167 ~Will In The Hood~

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Is it that cold outside that I rather stay under the covers, that I need my hoodie and my coat, that already I’m thinking I’m going to make this day better than yesterday by killing the man I was but when I take off my hood *sigh*. “Will In The Hood”

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Episode 167 ~Will In The Hood~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, start a cult and have all my followers where robes with hoods and seeing how other churches pocket the cash honestly, join the Republican party or the KKK. My apologies Lady Luna I didn’t mean to start so darkly. Still what time is it? Around this time I should still be dreaming of my life so much better than this, but like I was telling Indiana Gone the other day I’m still heavy in my Motivations especially “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life.” Can’t say I’ve noticed a change considering I usually wake up at 4:00 in the morning or even 3:00 for the stuff I have to do other than what I want to and can I say I want to be awake comparing myself; when did I get into these comparisons these days anyway.

For example, the man I and under the sheets, I can be anybody, like a child I feel safest under the covers and then I dare call myself a dominant, your best friend or your worse enemy and then again I thought I wanted to be successful. I spend far too much time dreaming my life away, eyes covered to all the horrors I see in this world, of course, terror is in the eye of the beholder I believe.

Which then leads me to books, do we even want to talk about my stories, cover to cover, the man I am when you lift it, not that I’m publishing anytime soon am I right, I might as well be an executioner killing my dreams. However, I don’t need a hood for that, though speaking of books, you should have seen me last night struggling as I wanted to share all these titles I’ve read with “Okay” but that list was the tip of the iceberg, if she looks deeper under the hood, at the man I am… how did “Cherry” put it “Spank Bank.”

Yes, I can be scary, though according to others either I’m a horrible human being or suicidal and when I put on my hood, pop in my headphones and head to the Day Job, I’m Schrodinger’s Cat entering the box. Live or die, it should be my choice but a person’s word or actions, when I emerge after my shift, has a part of my soul died, am I Alive; if some humans declare themselves as the children of God, the face as it were, the clouds are a pretty good hood to be had.

A hood that everybody wants to go to but Nobody Wants To Die, so you get busy living or get busy dying and I prefer getting busy period, and while I was thinking about taking a picture in my new NaNoWriMo hoody, I took a look at my face, no way, Will In The Hood.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 320 ~Give Me A Hand~

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Is it supervising that I know the feeling of handcuffs or than chains and whips excite me, or how about the idea of knowing how to serve, I can be a gentleman but a man and his two hands can be or do anything? Give Me A Hand

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Lesson 320 ~Give Me A Hand~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Can You Love Me Again, after I untie you; when you’re looking for new bras and panties. When I make my best impression of Christian Grey covering up all the things I do to you? For someone who likes holding hands, who enjoys a touch, who thinks one of the best things in the world is waking up Saturday morning and listening to 40’s and 50’s apocalyptic pop while a pretty girl touches me, I do like bondage, yeah sue me.

Wrong words in this day and age right but it’s like I tell people “if you’re not my dog, my girl, or applying for the job, don’t touch me” and when’s the last time a girl touched me? I’ve said it before, but I don’t have body issues, but I like control though I can go deeper, trust, loyalty, submission, a few of my favorite things or do I think women are honestly that dangerous? It’s not that you put a woman in chains, it’s that she doesn’t want the key, maybe it’s not that I’m afraid that she’ll hurt me. No, more to the point that she will run away so why even bother?

I’m a traditionalist as you know and I don’t oppose a one-night stand and making love well… there are a few ways to go about that, and still, I refer to Christian Grey not that I agree with Fifty Shades of Grey. I make love, but I fuck too, love is a complicated thing as well as a many-splendored thing, along with sex and we’re back to my need for control, for dominance; I guess when you spend your life as the slave you need to be the Master somewhat. Release The Beast like something out of The Purge, but it’s not for the money, it’s the thrill, the knowing, the fight; today is still not the day for the “Ravishment” conversation but yeah power.

Sex is about power but to have someone give you that power, to trust so much and not only with the act but with the aftercare, a type of control but running a bath, cleaning, sustenance, to serve after such a gift was received. You ask for a girl’s hand for a lifetime but what will I do with those hands, and with my two, that’s the question, pleasure and pain, search and discover, break and rebuild if you were to Give Me A Hand.

I Will Have No Fear