Tuesday, June 9, 2026

Journey 343 ~Whiteout B And V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But I’m due to be cruel: the coldness of your absence and you’re pregnant… Cool

I need it all, my love. Again to be cold, a mess, and to “Paint It Black”. Hell, we can “Paint The Town Red,” if we had the funds. What the hell am I even talking about, my love, ha!

Is it this damn heat? There’s a cure for that, I know. Turn on the GD Air, but no love.

You’re suffering, Virgil, our two-legged monsters. Treachery, the Ninth Circle of Hell, Betrayal. Like with Braxton? I could take the freezing embrace of death. I should’ve way back then. And now I find myself repeating the same mistake. I burned through cash way too fast. And why? A Man Provides. For what? His family. How does one make a family?

By “Burnin’ for You,” love.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And you know I “Don’t FEAR The Reaper,” my love. Not for my lust. How I want to promise you that “Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby…” Remember me, your husband.

“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” Taylor Swift is pretty hot. Death-wish? Honestly…

“I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror.” And it’s not that “I’m too sexy for my love.” Please, “You’re So Damn Hot!” I wanna do “Bad Things” to you. “I Want’a Do Something Freaky To You. I want to “Tear You Apart.” You’re a “Sucker for Pain.” Can I turn the playlist off for a moment? You’re wet, and I want to cover you in c*m…

Seriously, we’ll send Virgil and the kids somewhere with air.

All so I can let DOM out to play. Such a cold man because of my embarrassment, failures, and shame at being a man. I wish I could say this was all my plan to get you undressed, but that comes easy to you. Did I mention a woman that uses the word “hatef*ck,” um…

Well, you get me hot. And this conversation has taken quite the turn. But having a baby with you… Another one. Yeah, that would be pretty cool. Virgil could get his Snoopy, Joe Cool persona going. And Braxton. He wouldn’t want us living “This Way.” Geez, it would be cooler than Whiteout Survival if my Braxton was still here. Can’t blot out, delete, or erase me. Whiteout B And V

1955 Days Without B III, Day 1396 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, June 2, 2026

Journey 336 ~Braxton Sticks Up, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And no, that’s not what it sounds like. You, or what we’ll talk about today?

Braxton’s not a thief… My boy had 4 rules like in Boyz n the Hood (that was 3 rules, FYI).

Anyway, Braxton’s third rule was, “Don’t be afraid to ask you for anything. Stealing isn’t necessary. That was food-wise. No, my boy didn’t steal until the moment he left Earth.

Braxton took the beating in ‘my’ chest, the breath in ‘my’ lungs, and whatever balls I thought I had. And if it had all stopped right there… What would I be happier? You know me, my love. I’m never happy. Horny? Always. Hungry? Have you seen our accounts…?
Heavy with grief, heaving because of this or that, and headed to bed only to be exhausted.

But Braxton sticks up “Life Itself.” That movie from 2018?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I do feel like Oscar Isaac’s character ‘Will’. And with all your pains, you could be Olivia Wilde’s character, my ‘Abigail’, minus the actual bus. Virgil could be either “Dylan’ or “Rodrigo.” And Braxton. He is a whole other movie. Didn’t I mention “Pulse” (2006)?

Love, you getting used to manuscript, movie, and musical discussions with me yet. Yeah, your husband is a pop culture whore. And how I feel does seem like another world.

Honestly, because my son is out there somewhere and that brings me to today’s point…

More like an honest question. Is he raising me or robbing me blind where love’s concerned? Again I’m reminded of our accounts. Less coming in, more coming out, my love.

I stand. A Man Provides.

But where is it coming from? Braxton has an endless supply of love… Even from his box on the nightstand. And Virgil is still here. Sleeping in this heat. A guard like his big bro.

And you’re here with me, pain and all. And I take it all in. What’s yours is mine. And what’s mine is yours. And “Where Is My Mind?” Pieces of it are being stripped away.

And again you know your husband. When something bad happens? Eff Cody ChesnuTT and “Look Good in Leather”! Anyway, something bad happens to me, and my first thought is, my son, my Braxton is dead. And it takes the life out of any problems. Then… I stand, stick up another day. Braxton Sticks Up, Virgil

1948 Days Without B III, Day 1389 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, May 26, 2026

Journey 329 ~Braxton and Virgil’s Priors~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than my boys… You’re on and at my side. My boys, our bedroom, books…

Priorities. Do you know that song “Old Town Road”? Is that SFW? I’m sorry, love.

Honestly, I can’t get the old Day Job out of my head right now. Eff you, Cody ChesnuTT, eff “Look Good In Leather,” and eff you, Spotify and your explicit labels or a lack thereof, A-Holes! I mean, eff me! I thought that was your job, my love? So back to Old Town Road, ok. You know how I paraphrase a particular line to that song “My life is a movie, fur buddies and boobies.” That’s me, that’s the guy you married. I think of B III, 2-V, and you.

And on top of that, I keep thinking about what you said. What was it? For me, it was Monday.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So close to being M. Bison? On top of “Mortal Kombat.” Seriously, there’s Street Fighter.

“Well, Will, I do feel like we’re drifting hella miles apart. Don’t know what I did. Don’t know how to apologize either if I can’t know why.” Monday, May 25

“I’m sorry. Cause I didn’t wanna bring it up. But I felt it the whole time. And I wondered if I should bring it up.” – Monday, May 25, 2026

“But it wasn’t that I secretly offended you then?” –

“Or made you so mad you wanted to like hit me or something,” May 25

In all honesty, I want to spank your ass for thinking such things. You’re my wife, my world, my whor…. I’ll wait for the bedroom.

And if anything, I’m so sorry I made you feel as though you weren’t my priority. You will always be my love. My baby doll. My Dolly, if we’re talking Sick Fux. My Julia, 1984

What offends me is that you thought I would ever hurt you, uh, calling me STUPID, which you never have. And the fact that I’m so effing upset that I might have offended other people. Not intentionally. “Can’t have a strip club next to a school. “Big sis” is wise.

As for me, I’m crying for a few reasons. Part of being a man is never being a priority, love
To you, yeah. And how do I repay that? Second, prioritizing everyone else. A jail sentence… Braxton and Virgil’s Priors

1941 Days Without B III, Day 1382 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, May 19, 2026

Journey 322 ~B Top Three Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And you married a geek, my love. “That is also true…” Reference to Rocket Raccoon…

Maybe… How much do I know about the “Guardians of the Galaxy”? Here’s a better question. Why did I choose to be a geek and not a nerd? How do I define these, my love?

A nerd, I think, is someone who is smart in the right way. No, I don’t mean MAGA. I’ll say, Forever and always FDT! I swear I know so pretty women with the loveliest of Yabbos (I’m not doing myself any favors). I’m a geek who married a nerd. Honestly.

Anyway, I wouldn’t touch them. I’d think about it, but no—no effing Trump Supporters.

Such explanations! Anyway, I’m a geek. I’m smart, as in a Pop Culture Whore. Nerdy girls, crazy chicks, can be such whor… Let me stop.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Well, if only my boys, Braxton and Virgil, or our two-legged progeny were in trouble.

They are my number one priority. A Man Provides! And that’s not just a Breaking Bad reference. It is the gospel truth. Hercules? We have what now eight children, love?

Honestly, am I losing count? Braxton (in spirit), Virgil, three kitties, and three with opposable thumbs. You wanted three? Hell, I would have been good with 2.5, Braxton, Luke, and Leia. Three daughters? Katniss, Tris, and Ember… or Daenerys. Seriously?

There’s got to be a Peeta, Four, Chase… or Jon waiting on them. And if they’re all as beautiful as their mother… Braxton, help me! Really, “Who gon’ pray for me?” Whose gonna keep me out of prison? And sons?

What do I know about being a man other than the obvious? “I just hope I can explain what it’s like to be a man”. What’s it like being number three in my own existence?

Dreaming I’m even that. Children/goblins, my girl, and me, your geek. Who got me?

Effing or wanting to while “I am barely breathing, and I can’t find the air.” Does love require air? Fire does. Sparks. Sexual Healing. My first three Anima, in your words.

Shadow Work in my writing. You, my Phoenix Queen. Kyouko Sakai, Sex Taxi 5/Kojin Taxi 2. And the blonde… a gymnast, or is she Ellie Goulding? Alison Angel? Tara Strong?
Look Out For Number One? A husband’s wishful thinking… HaremLit. But, B Top Three Virgil

1934 Days Without B III, Day 1375 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, May 12, 2026

Journey 315 ~Love Of B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than Braxton? More than his little brother Virgil? Sometimes you gotta “Bwitdaba.” The eff!

Okay, in other words, “Fly Me To The Moon,” even if we had to play Squid Game. I’ll take you “to the stars” even if we were on the Titanic. Even in these universes, love:

Breathes deeply and then begins

1. Mortal Kombat
2. Bible Black
3. Soul Calibur
4. Resident Evil
5. American Beauty

I would choose my boys, my sons, and any of our two-legged children over you because that’s what a man does. It is the “Human Nature” of a father. What do I know of it?

Honestly, my love, my future is coming on. I should say our future. But I am a man lost in the past. Resurrection, Reanimation, Reincarnation. Because neither of us is very good at, well, Recovery.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

We were arguing about that the other day. You don’t recover, you don’t rehab physically.

A true masochist. And myself? Hell, I like a good spanking, a smack to my face, and “scratches all down my back to keep me right on”. But I’m a bit for mental anguish, love.

Banged by other guys… Not you. Not really. But I do have somewhat of a cuck fetish. Though not in my story… We’ll get to that. But it’s a mock… uh, such and such. It’s role play. It’s two consenting adults playing a really bad, um, sexual encounter. And then there was me, “Dreaming With a Broken Heart” when I was born, when Braxton passed.

And then deciding “If we’re gonna be together or apart.”

That took around five months to resurrect our love. To “Justify My Love”. To dig it back up: the hurt, the pain, and the remains. You’re my Obsession, my love. Completely. With all that I am. And you know your husband. “Great merciful bloodstained gods”.

Seriously, you know me. I’m in love with a dead man. Would that be me? Who knows, my love. But more to the point, I’m in love with a dead dog; he’s a real boy that I put in the dirt—a box on the nightstand. And I want to love you like… who am I, Tillie Cole’s Raphael? Let’s say, like a zombie, I want to “Tear You Part”. Necromancy resurrects you. Be your virus. Love Of B, Virgil

1927 Days Without B III, Day 1368 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, May 5, 2026

Journey 308 ~Better B Running Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That’s more than enough to get you to run away. Obsession? Funds, Fur, Future Wife…

As the song goes, “It keeps you running, oh it keeps you running.” FEAR, beloved.

Honestly, I would like to consider myself courageous. Hell! I would take being a man of leisure. But even “Here and Now,” as “I promise to love faithfully.” My love, I do that with every breath that I take. But every one of them is laced with FEAR, like other drugs laced with Fentanyl. Wow, that’s dark. But today is dark. Today I’m afraid. Always…

Running. Because I promised myself I would not fail again. Fail to love? Where’s Virgil?

Better question. Where’s Braxton? And here’s a random question. Who is Skye Matthews, hmm? A girl who couldn’t run. But more on her in due time. What time is it?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Way past time for us to be talking when we could be doing much more interesting things, my love. If I must be afraid, let it be that our children come walking into this room. Seriously, two-leggeds, four-leggeds, and all. I’m not just a father, a friend, a guy thinking “I Wanna Eff You.” I ain’t Akon, but that’s definitely in the bedroom playlist, babydoll.

Forgetting how crazy, how obsessed I get over you. Because when’s the last time you saw me chase a dollar? And again, I’m not hugging my doggie right now. And why is that, my love? I can’t run with that little ball of fluff in my arms. But would I leave him, our house, you, my heavenly angel? Not ever.

Not if I can help it. Not if leaving would hurt you more than staying. And why would I leave? Skye Matthews? Please, your husband writes HaremLit. Uh, when I’m not writing about my boys, my latest bad thing, or some boobies. Specifically yours. However…

“Magic Glasses” are a thing, and that is what I’m afraid of, like everyone, beloved.

Obsessed over seeing my firstborn, my boy, my Braxton, each and every day. So much so that “I created” another world, a nether realm, an Everworld. I’m not K.A. Applegate.

What I am is a scared man thinking about “All These Things That I’ve Done”. They keep running through my mind. And “Hanging By A Moment” here with you seems impossible. Better B Running Virgil

1920 Days Without B III, Day 1361 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, April 28, 2026

Journey 301 ~Love To B Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I won’t ever say, I can’t, I won’t, or I shouldn’t. I do. That day…

I do. I will… I remember that day. I remember the day our children were born. I remember the day you became mine (in the biblical sense). But I also remember the worst day of my entire life. The day I was born, “Emergence Day,” E-Day. Or is it Braxton…

The day my firstborn son died. Sunday, January 31, 2021, somewhere between 3:30 and 4:00 PM. And lest I forget the day you walked out of my life, Sunday, August 24, 2025, around 6:00 AM. But hey, you came back. And I seem to have the same tendency, my love.

I keep coming back. Is that a bad thing? When I’m so TIRED. Eff me, I am so effing TIRED!

What day is it, baby?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“As Long As You Love Me,” it “Don’t Matter.” Like who I like more, The Backstreet Boys or NSYNC. That I’m a black man getting “Locked Up,” like Akon. God/B I hope not, my love. Or what song will I play for you next as I try to keep myself awake? Yes, I am TIRED!

But never too TIRED to ask you to “Break Me Off.” “Men of Vizion,” like me. “Magic Glasses” and all. If I haven’t said it enough, I am TIRED, which is why I’m choosing music.

I don’t know how I’m keeping my eyes open right now. Because when I close them, I see Braxton. I blink and see creation. And I hate seeing myself, but love seeing you—our kids.

And yes, V is included in that. My boys were/are SeeDs. I mean that both in love’s garden, in my heart… and Final Fantasy VIII. Yes, my love, you married a gamer, you know it. And through those seeds and some watering from you… Or maybe that’s my job, considering all the children running around, ha-ha. Anyway, what is the point of today, my love? Other than that, I love the woman I married. The woman who multiplied my love, who begged for my seed… Did I say that out loud? It’s that I became so many things in love’s name. But the Man In The Mirror, thank you Michael Jackson, hates being himself, the one. I look at Virgil Vivi… Love To B Virgil

1913 Days Without B III, Day 1354 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, April 21, 2026

Journey 294 ~To B Merry Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Braxton would have… does love you. And after all this time… Ain’t sure about Virgil

Like father, like son. “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” My furry son and I. Well, we ain’t “Gorillaz.” We’re more like koalas. And while I wish I could sing, you knock me off of my feet. You do. “The Way You Make Me Feel.” Today I ain’t going nowhere. And it’s not because of you. Or that I’m crying over Braxton. And Virgil is giving me that sad look like he wants me to pick him up, but I’m not chasing him around the room today. Unlike you, my love. I would follow you anywhere, but how did I even find you, love? Really.

Honestly, “I’m not lost, I’m not lost, just Undiscovered.” How can I be lost, when I’m right here being well…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Horny while you’re hot as Hell my love, being on your knees like that. Virgil and the two-legged kids should be out of the house, and B III… pretend you’re in timeout again, please, Braxton.

Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, why do I like you on your knees? I could go on and on about how I’m all about blowjobs, cock worship, and my ass being spanked. Gripped.

I could talk about how much I love you on your back. How much I love furniture shopping on the grounds that I can bend you over it, my dirty, my little… uh, best leave that type of language. What I was heavy into “Excogi” or was it “GDP” girls saying “I’m your little whore.

And is that why I’m not going anywhere? Too busy thinking with my second head.

Seriously, was it just the other day I was talking about my three pillars for a business, my love? All under “Second Circle Creations” minus Braxton’s books. But hey, Dennis Hof had Domino Hof. A regular old “Brothel dog.” A pimp like his Daddy. Anyway, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I want to own a brothel, a cathouse, or something like that.

Family man? That I am. I love you, my boys, our three two-legged kids, everything.

Gorgeous… SIGH. Love and Happiness? I have the former. And there’s always more, but I don’t know where to find it. Happiness? Ha-ha. Yet we’re together. To B Merry Virgil

1906 Days Without B III, Day 1347 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, April 14, 2026

Journey 287 ~Braxton, Virgil, BUCKET It~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But Braxton barks, “The best breast, legs, and thighs come in a bucket/box of chicken.”

Who knew my son could be so profound? Who knew an old boss could be one of many “Back Stabbers.” “Smiling Faces Sometimes.” Lesson learned as B barked on Monday.

Honestly, I still hear the voice of my firstborn son. I’m upset that I didn’t see Virgil asleep on the stairs yesterday. And then there are the things I would rather not hear or see.

Ignorance is bliss… We’re not MAGA. FDT and that effing portrait of himself as Jesus.

Ignorance is strength… This is not George Orwell’s 1984 as much as MAGA desires it.

But strength? I appreciate you trying to calm me down with your “Sexxx Dreams” as if you’re my private singer, my “Teenage Dream.” But what I feel today… Iron Rain.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m talking Pierce Brown’s Golden Son being launched into battle, my love. Darrow/Reaper and Virginia/Mustang, Helldivers 2, and Gears Of War. So yeah, I’m mad. And I love you. I love women, I respect women. However, This Bit$h, my love.

Smokin’ Out The Window? I’m sure I said the same thing about you, love. And not always in the throes of passion. But no, I can’t fight the bit$h that caused the problem, then I’m all Christian Grey with you. I torture you… Fifty Shades style. “I wanna effing tear you apart.” Why? I’m just a “Sucker For Pain.” All “Raw” and Playful Devotion hmm.

Seriously, you know the man you married and what’s with all the music and manuscripts? Trying to erase her words…

And that is what pisses me off the most. Excuse me, that is what grieves me the most, my love. The fact that I wasn’t supposed to hear what I did. Communication. That’s all I Ask Of You. It’s all I ask of anyone. I’m an open effing book. A STUPID effing book, but open. For example, as I was telling you some time ago, the reason I like blowjobs so much is that I actually care what you have to say, but the silence. Effing? Food? Never complete silence, moan, cries, screams (I wouldn’t be doing my job right), but we don’t need words… There’s us, my boys bark, our children learning to talk. Then This Bit$h yesterday… EFF!

To afford a bucket of chicken, Braxton, Virgil, BUCKET It

1899 Days Without B III, Day 1340 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, April 7, 2026

Journey 280 ~Paws, Braxton And Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? From your head down to your toes? I do have a thing about feet, love.

But I’m still not ready to deal with the embarrassment from Monday, April 5, 2026.

Please, no man wants his woman to see him as weak. Bro code, Guy code, or the fact that you’re a “trad wife…” And the duty, honor, and privilege I have to acknowledge, Hell even before Breaking Bad, that “A Man Provides” and how I am trying My “Sweet Love.”

Ironic that I want to be as lustful as wanton, depraved as the Marquis de Sade. You married an effing sadist, baby girl. Yet I am as needy and as sensitive to say… My love…

Just sing to me Sade’s “By Your Side” or Peppermint Patty’s Poor Sweet Baby. That I am, love. Braxton and Virgil know this well enough.

I’ve called each one of them a little S.O.B. from time to time, which is technically true. But you are their stepmom (potentially). And I remember even calling you ‘that bit$h,’ you know from “Smokin Out The Window.” Maybe I should have taken off running.

Honestly, with what shoes? Again, that’s something for my therapist, Inspector Echo, tomorrow. B III would laugh his ass off. He hated wearing clothes. I’m just trying to keep 2-V on all four paws and provide for our family, which is why I suffered humiliations galore on Monday. “Close your eyes and spare yourself the view.” “Just A Man,” SIGH.

That I am, my love. How could I hurt you? By making you wear high heels? I like fuzzy socks.

But I still do like high heels or even sneakers. And long black boots. There are also stockings/thigh-highs and everything like those of that girl Hime from “Fechikano! And while we’re on the subject of blondes, weren’t we having a conversation about Soul Caliber and those blonde sisters? Beautiful blondes.

1. Cassandra Alexandra Soul Caliber Series
2. Sophitia Alexandra Soul Caliber Series
3. Fiona Belli, Haunting Ground
4. Ashley Graham, Resident Evil
5. Cassie PIB
6. Carly PIB
7. Alison Angel,
8. Hannah Harper, Porno

On top of being a sadist, I’m also a hedonist. My life is the pursuit of pleasure, where I will never partake in “The Long Walk” ever again. Braxton and my idea of Heaven, lying in bed surrounded by food. Pause… Paws, Braxton And Virgil

1892 Days Without B III, Day 1333 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will