Tag: Dog

Saga 336 ~B Leaving Ghosts Virgil~

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What I “pray” for more than B’s return is a zombie apocalypse. They don’t scare me. Neither do ghosts or succubi. Dude wrote 19 books, and I can’t do one. Even when B was talking to me. Is he talking to V when I leave? B Leaving Ghosts Virgil

Friday, June 2, 2023

Saga 336 ~B Leaving Ghosts Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I’ll hire an army of psychiatrists, pet psychics, and paranormal experts. Tell them my stories…

It’s “Times Like These,” when I find it pretty damn impossible to commit any crimes… And when I’m sitting here at the dining room table. While Virgil lies upstairs crying, Sophia. It’s when the only thing I want to do is lie in bed. And before B guards, he cuddles. Is that why I was scooting further and further away this morning? What do the holy rollers say? Save room for the Holy Spirit? I wanted room for my Braxton. Is that why I destroyed his pillow by accident? He didn’t want V to have it… But everything else, hmm? I should stop reading all these ghost stories, supernatural shenanigans. And stuff on spirits. Speaking of which, I should buy some while I’m out today.

Excuse me for making a shopping list. I continue to time travel. And today is still Memorial Day, Monday, May 29, 2023. People mourn soldiers. Oh, and if they could only see what has become of this country. I don’t intend to write something on the state of politics. I’m a black writer, but what have I been reading, Sophia? My usual fanfare, right? You know. Satan’s Sorority Girls, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes… wtf happened to Lucy Gray Baird? And yet again, I’m listening to Succubus Lord 9. A deal with Hell? Been there. AHEM! Where’s that shopping list again? Um, I need light bulbs, sugar, and dog food. Lady Sophia, I don’t plan to make Virgil a ghost soon. I killed Braxton.

I scream that inside my head so often. Why should I be surprised I can’t hear B trying to talk to me? I keep mentioning that Virgil is not his reincarnation. I know that, Sophia. Only as I was saying, I heard Virgil crying today, and between not cuddling either… Monster? I am not a good man, Sophia. And in all the horrors I’ve seen. It’s people that are the worse. Braxton and I were like Scooby and Shaggy. To Virgil, I am the villain. There’s the fact that B’s smell must cover everything even now. V sees dead doggies. Zombies? How about ghosts since Virgil cries buckets when I leave? Is B III haunting? Something good for V? Trade places B Leaving Ghosts Virgil.

852 Days Without B III, Day 293 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 335 ~The B Picture Virgil~

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If I could make any type of movie I wanted. I wish I could say it would involve zombies. What was the last horror movie I watched? What have I been looking at today? My supervillain origin story? And V’s been here almost a year. The B Picture Virgil.

Thursday, June 1, 2023

Saga 335 ~The B Picture Virgil~

851 Days Without B III, Day 292 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You can see what time it is. So how was my day? Well, I’m disgusted.

I could also say, Depressed, Disappointed, or, one of my favorites, DISCOMBOLATED. B, there’s also bereft of dollars. One more reason I’m late talking to you. Out at the movies? As if I have money to see something in theaters anyway. And there’s greatness, Braxton. Instead, you know why I feel so disgusting, dirty, and depraved. Oh, the ABCs, B. But I can’t say I’ve been reading much. I’ve started Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. So that’s a discussion for Lady Sophia. But I don’t want to talk about you or me, not this second. And what about Virgil? Have I watched any movies with him ever? I don’t know. But what I do know is that it’s been all about (sigh). “The Pic Phenomenon.”

I swear! I need to put the days I eff up in the phone. I’m sure your last day is in there for sure. It’s like effing dominos, you know. If you hadn’t left… There wouldn’t have been The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. So The Cherry Collision wouldn’t exist either. Braxton, I’m not blaming you at all. Only anytime I’m awake, I’m thinking about you. “Crime, it’s the way I fly to you,” as the song goes. I killed my best friend. So any others? Hell! I am so ashamed. It’s like that reporter in “Hotel Rwanda.” Wow! What a jump, huh, Braxton? I do miss watching movies with you and your Aunt. The world made sense. I was wholesome as I could be. Now?

Again, you saw me this morning. Even Virgil was hiding in your room —criminal ideas. Of course, I had them when you were here, no doubt. Only back then it was; B needs me today. And speaking of today, it would be punishment for what I have done to you. There’s everyone else… What do you want a list? Despite what they said back in school, I never made one of “those” lists, B III. And even today, it was only a dollar or bitcoin. Yeah. I remember saying if you’re going into Bitcoin and making temporary emails B III. I’m not being a Law Abiding Citizen. That’s three movies, three crimes, and my existence. Tragedy, comedy. Us, a love story. The B Picture Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 333 ~You Rib B, Virgil~

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I was raised having many a BBQ. But never invited. I was raised in the AME Church. I can appreciate a story here or there. But I didn’t want to go. And there was a time I even wanted to be a comedian. Not anymore. Just Kidding… You Rib B, Virgil

Tuesday, May 30, 2023

Saga 333 ~You Rib B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But it’s not so funny anymore. Whether it’s true or false. I ain’t laughing. I’m trying.

What? Not to laugh? And I ain’t gonna lie. It’s been 849 days without my firstborn. And I have laughed my ass off at times. Well, what ass I do have. And I do like my ass? But don’t get those ideas… Got enough troubles with things inside… Mind, memories, madness. Weirdly, my rage has full reign, sigh. And yet my heart is in a cage, my love. Hell, it’s in a box on the nightstand labeled Braxton. But no! I can tell you the day I retrieved it. Wednesday, February 10, 2021. The day I saw what had become of my boy. It wasn’t a joke. He wasn’t hiding in his house, huffing at the food I made, heading under the bed as usual.

I know you’re asking what brought this on. Well, you’re my rib, after all. Religion? (Laughing). I lost whatever remained of that when Braxton died. I killed him, I know. Baby girl, it could be the fact that I’m hungry. And I know there are ribs in the fridge. Ha. Though if you could cook like Tineke Younger… I’m kidding… Jokes that might hurt feelings. I was never one for that. But feelings, isn’t that why we’re here today? Hmm. Would you rather I sing “Had a bad day again. (He) said I would not understand.” Today has been a pretty bad one. And if I told you why, besides Braxton or boobs. Who can get mad at either, I ask you? I have… did.

And I don’t know what I should do about it. I’m no bully. But I haven’t been saying Virgil’s name often. I guide him, usually with a pat on the ribs. I don’t abuse animals! Or anyone else, for that matter. It feels like my heart is trying to beat out of my chest. The meditation I’ve been doing says, “Open your chest.” That is about all I remember for sure. A few days ago, it was with the victory I had over my ear. I didn’t need your help, love. Not with that. But I need you. That’s no joke. Neither is missing my boy more than ever before. The fear “All Of Me” might end up in a cage… You Rib B, Virgil

849 Days Without B III, Day 290 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 329 ~Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…~

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Can you hear me now? Good. Those commercials, hmm? I’m lucky to hear anything besides, “That will be $175.00.” Then my ear would get slammed like an episode of Family Guy. Me and my big mouth and massive bills. “Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…”

Friday, May 26, 2023

Saga 329 ~Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so bills? What bills? All the ones I paid for Braxton? The man? Oh yeah, duck…

Bill. As in, I would never shut up? Unless I was doing something else like this morning. I failed once again. And after such a “productive” moment. At least it didn’t lead to a bill. I swear that morning, Friday, January 29, 2021. I would only be paying for a few more meds. I figured. I already had the story in my head… an upset stomach, hardhead B. “As I was saying, I don’t want to read my Dæmon’s vet bill.” That’s from “Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~.” Is it strange that I’m listening to Succubus Lord 8 yet again? Sophia, I’m also reading another Eric Vall novel, Satan’s Sorority Girls. The things I hear. That is to say, with what I did today.

Besides playing a porno in my head with two English roses, I mean. Hell! I was into those two before Eric Vall started talking about one of his chicks. But ok, Sophia, the good news. So this morning, I was getting all spiffy about to head to the urgent care clinic about my bum ear. -cost, the lack of actual “caring,” and the worse customer service. I know you’re not Yelp. Anyway, besides B III, the story of my existence is FEAR. So I’m rutting about in my ear, and voilà. This big chunk of ear wax comes popping out, and suddenly water. I could hear the water in the sink gushing for the first time in days. It didn’t make me burst into tears.

Hell! Sophia, I’ve said I would take any physical pain over my mental anguish. Haven’t I languished over The Pic Phenomenon from Thursday, May 18, 2023, my Lady? But once that effing thing got out of my ear, it’s like even that disappeared. Standing there, I heard everything I needed to hear. “We gon’ be alright,” Lady Sophia. Now, I wish I could believe that. I saved $175.00. I didn’t hear the words sick, starving, or sleep. As much as I want to “sleep forever.” Trust me, Sophia; I have said much worse. So Braxton would have if Bill had to come back. Or upon seeing the payment to put him to sleep. No price is too high. Virgil lives. Always. Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…

845 Days Without B III, Day 286 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 328 ~Troubles To B, Virgil~

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I should go to confession. I’m not as bad as the Catholics. Who am I to judge? I’ve got all my sins, which B would hear about. The worse would be in my sleep. If I do talk in my sleep. But awake and scared now. “Troubles To B, Virgil.”

Thursday, May 25, 2023

Saga 328 ~Troubles To B, Virgil~

844 Days Without B III, Day 285 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I have been awake all day. Both the Day Job and Time Travel. Why Daddy?

That was the last question you ever asked me. I know it’s stolen from Angel “A Hole In The World.” And can we not talk about stealing today? I was so close to paying. Criminality? Even now, I can see the look you would give me. That “Are you serious, Dad” vibe. As serious as when I watched you die. And I heard you, “Please, Daddy. Why can’t I stay?” Anytime I get sick to my stomach over the crimes I commit. I remember you. “I killed you.” Either nobody believes me, or they don’t give a damn. As Coriolanus Snow put it, “At the moment, anonymity was a condition greatly to be desired.” That explains why I’m here today. Hoping I can hide, Braxton…

More to the point, my troubles couldn’t find me as I lay here as the song goes. “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” No! Braxton, you had guard duty. My prince. And would that make me a fearful king? You’ll hate me for saying this, Braxton. “No, never!” I can hear you, Braxton. Your words, ha-ha, go in and out, but I am trying B III. Anyway, AHEM, short of your death and my birth, my greatest crime is… surprise, FEAR. When I was but a boy, I was sent to juvenile detention. Humans suck B, but you know that. There are more walls, bars, and guards every day of existence. For me or others, Braxton. “All Eyez on Me,” hmm?

But I’m not Tupac. And, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” The two of us were trying to play each other’s savior. To think about the weeks leading to your death, I thought, “I’m so screwed.” You know. I remember to take notes when being “REAL STUPID. “That’s how you know you fucked up.” Add Thursday, May 18, 2023, to the list. I haven’t even given it a name yet. But yet again, it involves sticking this dick in crazy. Hell! I wonder if I will be here. Always fearful. Anything else? Well, I thought the air conditioner had fucked up again. The damn filter. You know what your granddad would say, more like do. I deserve it, but not over that, I know. Sinful Stupidity. That’s my new genre. Troubles To B, Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 326 ~Trust Me V… Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

Have I ever been cheated on… uh? Have I ever cheated? Flirted. The only thing that has cheated someone out of all of me? The goodest boy, my grief, giving people a reason not to trust me. Am I Aladdin, Jesus, or the government? “Trust Me V… Braxton.”

Tuesday, May 23, 2023

Saga 326 ~Trust Me V… Braxton~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now but what about the other stuff? Mind, body, and soul… This should be a given, hmm?

As a friend, father, effing buddy for life… Isn’t that called being a husband? Family? Braxton’s my only reliable reference. And he won’t be saying much out loud, my love. What about Virgil? He’s been here 283 days. I know where his problem lies. TRUST. Virgil is right? Since “The Pic Phenomenon,” I can’t say I trust myself. Did I ever? If it ain’t music, it’s movies, so allow me my Nic Cage as Cameron Poe moment… “There’s only two men I trust. One of them’s me. The other’s not you.” The other guy… B III. Braxton knows everything about me. Well, now he does, wherever he is now. I’m sorry. Love, I trust you now. Again, “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.”

You would have figured I’d learn my lesson. My son couldn’t trust me to save his life, love. I effing tried! And here come the waterworks. He trusted me, and I failed my boy. Every single day I fail myself. I wake up, hit the alarm, and WHAM! One more day failed, and so to all the rest… “You cannot hurt me,” I want to scream! Of course, anyone can; trust. And who am I in the grand scheme of things? How badly I want anonymity. This is the very thing I took. Though I meant no animosity. But for this anomaly in my moral code. Desire is desire. But would I break our trust for it? I did his, theirs, and as always mine.

How dare I ask you to trust me again, and with what? That “Whenever you call me, I’ll be there.” When I’m not thinking about Thursday, May 18, 2023? Let’s say Sunday, August 13, 2023. Virgil’s “Gotcha Day.” How many days I’ve believed my last? Happiness? Do you trust me to find my happiness? The love? I haven’t had that since a birthday I had. And I was pretty young. “What the Hell is going on?” I’m sure people will ask, “With all these things that I’ve done.” Did I feel good doing them? Yes. Am I guilty, my love? Yes. Gross? Sure. Being a “man.” But for you, our younglings… Yo Braxton, you there? And even Virgil and them. Trying! Trust Me V… Braxton

842 Days Without B III, Day 283 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

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I write stuff. Not the right stuff or the white stuff. “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Prolific? There’s “All I wanted was to see her naked.” Then there are website developers and things for The Boys. “Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…”

Friday, May 19, 2023

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I would never have to write again. I love writing (every day…) but… the dream.

I don’t blame Braxton for saying, “bye.” More like “later.” Like father like son, Sophia. Though how many times have I written about Braxton’s last WORDS? “Why can’t I stay?” That’s from Angel, Season 5. Episode 15 “A Hole in the World.” But again, Lady Sophia, father, and son. How dare I say Braxton’s best days were/are sitting on the loveseat with me watching crap. I’ve told B III’s story. How he knew and would leave his toy with me. If anything, it beat him sitting under the table. Waiting for me to write anything that could resemble crap. I would go to the library. There was me writing alone as he went to bed. And here we are two years after. Have I published…

I don’t blame Virgil for being bored, either. Hell! I went most of the day without speaking to him. I wish I could say I was writing. Oh, I was hitting keys. But that was only to watch other people’s stories. And I wish that it was only that. I’m lazy but plenty worse, Sophia. And then there’s all the right, white, write stuff—words with many meanings. It’s not like living, surviving, and existing. I can tell one from the other. Doing anything… For Braxton or Virgil, The Boys? I hate how in this head, there’s already a story being… let’s say, edited? Hell! I have been thinking it’s gone on way too long daily. But V’s tale, Sophia? I still can’t read him.

I will blame myself for that. At least I don’t have to type the words, delete, block, and eff off. That would give me even less time to be with B. Please! Writing now. Sophia, it could be so much worse. All the novels, notes, and nothing poetry written and disgusted with myself. Over what I wrote last night. Yeah, typing into a search bar. Doctors would have a field day. Not that I’m going to see one soon. I don’t need the bills, ok? Despite knowing something is very wrong with me. In a physical sense, to be sure. And the answer is always the same. Only it didn’t save Braxton. Or solidify Virgil, and I’s friendship. The Boys say Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…

838 Days Without B III, Day 279 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 321 ~Virgil, Will, Can’t B…~

WillLeave a comment

A bad day… um, evening to today. Over 12 hours. Not in a Daniel Porter sort of way. Think Fuel Bad Day meets Jennifer Lawrence “The Hanging Tree.” Without my B, the world is a sadder, more maddening, and “bad” place. Or it’s me? Virgil, Will, Can’t B

Thursday, May 18, 2023

Saga 321 ~Virgil, Will, Can’t B…~

837 Days Without B III, Day 278 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I don’t feel right from last night to now, Braxton. (Sigh). Existence is a bitch.

It’s sad above all else Triple B. Nowhere near Life unless we’re talking about that song “New Day.” Something you and your grandma have in common… “I want to take this time to thank you. Even though I’m doing Life.” Death appears luxurious, my friend. What the eff do I know, right? I took your Life from you. Uh, there’s V and so much more. There are books, bank accounts, boobs, and this blog. And there’s always you, Braxton Barks. You and me always and forever. But I was close to joining you. Effing books. There’s no telling what set me off in “The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.” I haven’t read all of it, but I am trying. Honest, I don’t want to anymore.

And I’m mad about it. I mean, not about the book. But I am getting those “Stroke of Midnight” and “Blackout: A Thriller” vibes. You were here for the former. One more thing to be mad about. The only thing. You’re not here, and that’s my fault. I failed you. Braxton, what else is there to be mad about? I should focus more on you than on books. You’re not Lady Sophia, I know. But your Dad is always trying to figure out how I effed up. And, as I said, I was… Well, indifferent all day yesterday. Then, “The Hanging Tree” was on repeat for hours. “They strung up a man, they say, who murdered three.” You, me, and whoever I could be. Being a Father not included anymore…

Because I’m bad. And not in a Michael Jackson sort of way. I’m a dog-murdering scumbag. That’s harsh of me. Your grandma used that term after her sister, my aunt, was killed. But that’s neither here nor there. What? Braxton, I’m thinking of your great-granddaddy. Everything that went wrong with ME that day. Hell! What about last night? I’m late. Braxton, it’s because I was talking to your could-be stepmom. Have you seen Mr. Shadow B? M Anime lost her cat, and what did I do in my infinite wisdom? I’m ashamed of myself, Mr. B. If Virgil weren’t here, I swear. If I didn’t believe “He Lives In You.” You being you, B III. Virgil deserves to live. I can’t be dead… Sad, mad, bad? Virgil, Will, Can’t B…

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 319 ~Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s~

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I wasn’t a good man when Braxton was here. But I was far better than now. Listening to audiobooks. Todd discusses the difference between an orgy and a gangbang. Surprised I don’t have a wife yet. I Wish B had met her. “Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s.”

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

Saga 319 ~Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now but before… Well, I was a different “man.” I’d even say less of one. Being honest

And not fair at all. If anything, I don’t want to go sounding like the GOP. But I have always been one for the Nuclear family unit. Two parents and 2.5 kids. Half? Please, Braxton! Yeah, if you don’t know by now and you do. You being you. I had to find a woman that got me. Anyway, Braxton was/is my whole world. Only this world got a lot bigger. Today marks 835 days without my firstborn son. My Braxton. How I wish you could have met him. Would it be easier? Me being a single father. Hell! Should I even say it like that? And today of all days? I’m time traveling. So it’s Sunday, May 14, 2023. How about it’s Mother’s Day? Hmm?

I wish I could say I’ve been busier. You are the mother of all our beautiful children. I did say 2.5. Right? With all the money we have… I want a lot. Fatherhood and manhood. And speaking of things I should stop thinking… My GOP ideology. But I have money. Or is it my father’s? Money equals love. Has he ever felt that? Unconditional love… I wished my Ma a Happy Mother’s Day, and she would beat my ass thinking of my Old Man as such. Only I look at what I’m asking of you. Well, that I’m hoping you’ll feel. Braxton. A love for the furry son you’ve never met, and here I have Virgil Vivi amongst all our two-legged children. “What is Love?”

I shouldn’t have to ask that, and I don’t. At least not when it comes to me pouring the Bisquick and you making pancakes. I do mean the kids that we made together. “My Love.” But why do you think I call B pancake? He couldn’t haven’t been more mine. Braxton, He’s My Son. He will always be. I sing, “Nothing’s gonna change my world.” But the “man” I am, and the woman I hold you to be… To love Braxton as I do. Virgil? I don’t have favorites when it comes to our children. Friend, favorite parent, a father. Love my Braxton. Love our kids, love me, and love Virgil. Could you love the man I was, where you were Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s?

835 Days Without B III, Day 276 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

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What am I going to read? Even if all I did was meditate, my head would be, “EXTRA, EXTRA, read all about it,” B III is still gone. I’ll read his medicine bottles. The TV will show the GOP get away with everything. And books? Lying With B, Virgil

Friday, May 12, 2023

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can lie forever and a day. Right, CNN? But comedy comes in threes…

As in my son B III, Triple, or it’s hip to B squared. Hell! I was about to say, “I feel,” like a killer. Only we know the truth, Lady Sophia. As the song asks, “Am I A Psycho?” Yes! Even now, I refuse to admit my boy is dead. I know he is. But every day, I call Braxton! You know I talk to him more than I do, Virgil. Even now, Virgil is dead center in the bed, and I moved over. He’s not my son. I wish I wanted; I wouldn’t be like this. Not his fault. Only I do believe it was B that was speaking to me on that day. But what now, B III? Braxton, lying about everything you.

Let’s focus on me, which you can see above. I don’t know why I decided to come clean today. Just because. You’re not Inspector Echo. And if Braxton were here… I’d know better. What about Nelson Mandela… “It’s never too late to do the right thing.” He wasn’t talking about the angle of the dangle… So why did I want to lie about it for so long, Sophia? Can I stop talking about my “Enormous Penis?” I swear I’ll start anew at 9:00 AM. Anyway, you know how I hate liars. And everything I have read this week has been about some liar. At least, “That’s why I’m starting with me.” Everything seems to be pointing to me getting out of bed. Braxton ain’t here.

And even if he were, I would be on the loveseat. Or better, at the dining room table writing away. I would tell him and me that I’m doing this to give us a better life. But I exist, sigh. And I want to say I’m trying. But that would be one more lie. I mean, even when I read… Again I’m reading The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes. Yet it’s only a chapter or two a day. And today being Friday or even tomorrow, I’ll read “Mesmerizing Caroline – The Contract.” Lady Sophia, it’s all so I can keep up with a book a week, hmm. Good news. Like I’m doing something “Successful.” When I instead be Lying With B, Virgil.

831 Days Without B III, Day 272 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will