Saga 154 ~B’s In English Virgil~

I call myself a writer… a leader of men… I only needed to know the language of a fluff ball 670 days ago. But, of course, I stopped listening to B III. And Virgil Vivi, whenever I leave, he cries. But what else is he saying? Uh? B’s In English Virgil

Friday, December 2, 2022

Saga 154 ~B’s In English Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m mad as Hell, which is par for the course, I guess. English, Billionaire, B…

He’s still gone. I should have read a few books on necromancy instead of reincarnation. Hell! Considering my grades in school regarding reading and Language Arts, hmm. That’s what I was thinking about at the Day Job. If only I had been a better student Lady Sophia. Yeah, I wouldn’t be stuck where I am right now. Fighting off sleep and talking to you. Ok, so that was mean, and I apologize. But what does that do? I apologized to B for not being able to save him. I even said I was sorry to Virgil for how I picked him up. There are a couple of ways you can look at that if we go back 111 days. Gotcha Day. How could I ever?

Virgil Vivi and I still need to understand one another. Could that all change now that I have a few days off? I swear, my lady, these words have so many meanings. How Bizarre? Like saying I’m sick. Do I mean mentally, physically, or emotionally? Oh, there’s my rage. My body has been sick for so long; I don’t know what it is to feel better, to be honest. Though I haven’t been right since Braxton. Well, even when he was here, Lady Sophia. Breathing was easier. I talk to him every Thursday or when Time Travel Permits Sophia. I even pray to him. These few moments I once gave “God,” but I never learned to talk to him the right way… Steve Buscemi said:

I remember Todd using “Buscemi” as his “safe word.” On the one hand, Todd is right… sorry, Mr. Buscemi. It immediately shuts down thoughts of sex. But then, Succubus Lord? It’s where I know Todd from. And speaking of which, where’s the holiday erotica, hmm? Not that I mind reading about dogs. One more lady’s success while I continue failing. Writing, speaking, “Lord Give Me A Sign.” I’ve been listening to a lot of music instead of audiobooks. What! Should I listen to Succubus Lord yet again? And I have other books, but I haven’t been in the mood. The same can be said about people at the Day Job. HUMILIATIONS GALORE reaching epic levels! I can’t even tell Virgil. I need to learn his language… B’s In English Virgil

670 Days Without B III, Day 111 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 153 ~To B Enraged Virgil~

RAGE is one giant drill digging. I know I’m going to Hell. Braxton’s death was a nuke leaving a crater. Yet I keep digging, but I can’t get lower than that. Anger, Rage, and Hatred rest in the 5th Circle, B is my 9th Circle sin. “To B Enraged Virgil”

Thursday, December 1, 2022

Saga 153 ~To B Enraged Virgil~

669 Days Without B III, Day 110 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Considering we’re talking now? I’ll give you three guesses about how my day is going.

If I had tried talking to you that Wednesday… Hell! Anytime earlier than our final week. Braxton, I’m not going to get over it, over you. I can’t hate myself more. But I do try B. For example, a few minutes ago. It’s 4:30 in the evening, and I went downstairs to call for you once again. MEDICINE TIME! Only you’re not here. And when I forget to do this, B? RAGE! Not at you but at myself. And then throw in the fact V is lying right here, B III? Another reason I know he’s not you. Braxton, you were too much like me. Hey Jealousy? Virgil isn’t. I bet he’s wondering why I went stomping out of bed a minute ago. I’m not sleeping, but I’m not mad.

Again at you. Now the Day Job. FUCKING DAY JOB! Pardon my language. Another 5-hour shot, so I’ll be awake at least till 7:20 tonight. Becoming the “Village Idiot” Braxton. Where do I even begin? So I’m waiting for the morning Huddle to start. These have steadily worsened over the past two weeks, but today… Well, one of the bosses talked about me smiling. I’m a fucking joke there with a fucking grin. B, how we would talk. Anyway, it could have been a crack about the dog tag I always wear with our picture on it. I’m smiling, then. Or is it I’m so fucking weak in that place? I grabbed onto it, asking for your strength and forgiveness. Hell! Your Rage, B III.

I remember you being angry at the whole world, and I know why. You weren’t mad at your Ma; I mean. “Mother is God in the eyes of a child.” You love your Aunt Carolina. Braxton, your Aunt, is good to both of us. But who I’m surrounded by always… Braxton, part of it, I’ll say, is jealousy. I’ve seen a lot of success these days from others. There’s the fact that I haven’t started my Christmas reading. Crying over another dog, B. NaNoWriMo is over, and I didn’t write one single word for it. Published anything? Nope. I’m wasting money. That chicken sandwich today. Oh, I’m going Karen if I’m not lazy. But hating myself for killing you; that’s enough. To B Enraged Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 147 ~They’ll B Books Virgil~

It wasn’t a dinner to write home about. But I’m not a bastard. I thanked my Ma and, of course, shared with Virgil. Who knows, maybe we could have our own full Thanksgiving meal if I were writing books or reading those of merit. They’ll B Books Virgil

Friday, November 25, 2022

Saga 147 ~They’ll B Books Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I will be if any of my books get turned into a movie. Right, NaNoWriMo…

I’ve missed the whole damn thing at this point. And as far as what I’ve been writing… Well, the most positive thing I can think of is this. The past two days at the Day Job haven’t been the most horrible in recent memory. But it’s better not to talk about today lest I cry. More like flying off into a RAGE. Considering a few recent “stress releases.” I’m hopeless. Ok, back to positivity. I did finish reading World War Z Thursday. A Kindle Challenge. But that means one more thing I have to do today. Finding something else to read. And Lady Sophia, it’s getting around that time. The books I read over the Christmas Holiday (sigh); we’ll get to that. But my education…

Hell! Like I ever took that seriously before. If only I had done so. There are so many idiots making billions and ruling the world. Not to mention all the people making money for anything and everything. That is another reason I’m heavy into Audiobooks. Succubus Lord? How many times has it been now, Lady Sophia, reading about Jacob and his Harem? Sophia, I have plenty of books about harems. Only reading my writings and musings, ha. And as I said, we’re approaching Christmas, which means Christmas Erotica. It’s a little bit funny; I’m unsure how to feel about that new movie, Violent Night. Christmas sex? Um, yes, please. But violence? Especially since I like Home Alone and Die Hard. Hard, something I don’t want.

Well, only when I’m in a position to have some girl do something about it, Lady Sophia. But I’d give it all up to go and read a book with Braxton napping away. Memories, Sophia. The turkey dinners Braxton and I would get from my Ma. In comparison to yesterday, Thanksgiving indeed. But aren’t I a grown-ass man? Yeah, I’m nothing to write about. And again, the Day Job could have been a million times worse. And if I wrote something, anything, of merit… It always comes back to this. B III would be alive. The unbridled avarice of his own turkey. And A for Archie wouldn’t have become V for Virgil. Is that mean? Virgil will have a book someday. They’ll B Books Virgil

663 Days Without B III, Day 104 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 146 ~Thankful B Cause… Virgil~

Happy Thanksgiving? Cue Karlee Grey as a Pilgrim. And a “Native” Giggity. Is that Racist? Well, I have bigger fish to fry or a turkey. I’m wondering whether my Ma will send one for Virgil. And then there’s the Day Job (sigh). Thankful B Cause… Virgil

Thursday, November 24, 2022

Saga 146 ~Thankful B Cause… Virgil~

662 Days Without B III, Day 103 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? How about, what are you thankful for? My eyes are open, so you know me.

The better to see you with my boy. Except I don’t. New glasses and all. I swear I got sick when I first put them on. Or was it that I saw the old man that remains, Braxton? Hell! I believe I can see the future… as the song goes. If that were true, you’d still be alive. It always comes back to that, doesn’t it? B, it leads me to a bunch of questions for you, ha. Are you thankful that you’re wherever and not here? That I keep your memory alive, even if it’s only in my grief? What about the fact that I’m not alone? It is Virgil’s First Thanksgiving. You love your grandma’s cooking; I haven’t heard from her about food.

But B, I’m time-traveling today, but we will finish talking tomorrow. But what about now? Can I stay in the moment? That’s the problem. The moment always hurts. Your past? Braxton, when I think about the last few hours… I’m disgusted with myself. Private Time. I have these new glasses again, but I’ve been all sorts of woozy. To see the world any clearer? Yeah, that’s exactly what I need, isn’t it? Existing in such a place B III. Dammit! Then there’s Thursday, um, your today. B III, the Humiliations Galore, what will they be? Then again, I am thankful. For moments I have the chance to somehow, someway, become. You know the man you believed I was for so long. Suddenly I see, right?

Whether that’s the result of glasses, “gunk,” or gorging myself on tacos and nacho fries. Clarity, Unforgettable, The “Best Friend” I ever had. That’s what you are, my Little B. Always and Forever, I’ll be thankful that I was/am your Dad. That’s what transcends time. Only again, you want to know about today? Did I ever think I was so tired because of my eyes? I’m still all pumped up on 5-hour ENERGY. Why can’t I see to be thankful? Because I know how it all ends unless I do something. I have Virgil, but he ain’t you, B III. My “faith” hasn’t run out on that, though. Not yet… But you’re asking for one thing, though. Two; thankful for Yabbos. Thankful B Cause… Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 140 ~Vitamin B, Not V~

If I were writing out my vitamin regimen, that would be something. But no, the usual. I miss my son. Work sucks, I know, as the song goes. I’m always horny. Discombobulation, depression, death, I fear, thanks, Yoda. Things within me, Vitamin B, Not V

Friday, November 18, 2022

Saga 140 ~Vitamin B, Not V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can buy plenty of books, the good drugs… um, women? That’s not right.

But it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a bit. With all of my medical issues… yeah, I’m always horny, as well. M Anime, Cherry cue (homer drool). If I had the cash, My Lady? Can’t buy me, love, right? But what is it they say about an adoption fee? I look at V here… Only I still want Braxton back. Should I read another novel on reincarnation, perhaps grieving? If anything, I should be asleep right this second. But the meaning of my WORD? Sophia, I said I would never get back into 5-hour ENERGY, but here I am, wide awake and raring to go. I can’t tell you why I went back to buying them. Hell! The world sucks, and to torture myself?

Was it reading my last paycheck and going nuts? The money never seems to be enough for everything. As you can see, I’m time-traveling. It’s Thursday, November 17, 2022. Oh. There was reading the Day Job schedule, and I reached this conclusion. Call it a new life goal. I want a job, a career… Fuck it, a life that I can stay in bed all day. Again with the sex. It’s the only thing that keeps me awake despite everything else. I need more wakefulness, ha. Yet I don’t want it. Every night I go to bed hoping I’ll never have to open my eyes again. Who would take care of Virgil? When it was Braxton, it was only hoping I don’t go to jail.

What? I’d have time to read, and if the prison movies I’ve seen are any indication… (shudders). The one constant thing is the Humiliations Galore. Awake for that, Sophia? This whole year has been about my health. From my fucked up ears to a bacterial infection and my broken glasses. Stuff going into my body. Only I rather focus on putting a particular part of my body into things… people. Sex toys, women? I should stop talking, I know. Tomorrow will be worse than today. Sacrifice today for tomorrow’s betterment. From some motivational speech. The things that go into my head; Braxton in my heart. And now energy drinks, so the words will flow out of me. But nothing for NaNoWriMo? Vitamin B, Not V.

656 Days Without B III, Day 097 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 139 ~B Hold, V’s Place~

Nothing’s gonna change my world… but until I have one, I must exist in this one. And the world keeps on turning. B III’s bed is on the other side. V doesn’t curl up like a pancake. More like he goes all over. But really, where am I? B Hold V’s Place.

Thursday, November 17, 2022

Saga 139 ~B Hold, V’s Place~

655 Days Without B III, Day 096 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You know this week and the next for me… It ain’t right but to write.

The things I forget. Not you, Triple B, never you. Everything remains exactly the same. Okay, so that’s a lie. Braxton, see why I never told you… EVERYTHING. 90, 98%? Inevitable. Should I survive the rest of the day… Wednesday, November 16, 2022? I’ll be madder. None of this is Virgil’s fault, of course. Hell! Not when I threw out your last can of food. Or when I was sure you were haunting me. I would find a toy or bandanna thrown about somewhere. Is that a point in V’s favor? I was telling Echo that V ain’t you, but? Well, again, it could be the time of the year. If I wasn’t so busy with… no, not for you. I haven’t told Virgil Vivi.

So humiliating I should go back to talking to Inspector Echo. I’m not Virgil’s Daddy. Only I find myself playing that role again, and I want to remember how it was with us, B III. Didn’t I write a whole ass book about it? And yet I have to face this week and the next. Anyway, let me get to the point. So I let Virgil sleep on the bed. You had your side. How I miss that. We would be back to back. Your constant vigilance of the bedroom door. When you weren’t at your post. I’ve noticed I find myself at the edge of the bed every morning, and Virgil is dead center. Even when I’m writing, Virgil Vivi takes up space. (Sigh)

I had to move your bed over by the bathroom. You hated waiting for me to get out of the shower. The thing is, I saw Virgil sniffing around your bed, and I yelled. Virgil knows. That bed is where you died. And here comes today’s bout of tears. He stays away from there for the most part. I’m still mad about your pillow; he pooped on it. And I destroyed it; it’s in the closet. V has your food/water bowls. A few of your toys, too; it ain’t right. And now, his first Thanksgiving here. Your favorite day next to your birthday, I know. It’s not his place to be you. Mine to be a Dad? Everything has its place. B Hold, V’s Place.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 133 ~ Virgil’s A’s And B’s ~

Election Day, Veteran’s Day, and I saw Black Panther: Wakanda Forever Thursday. But today is V’s ninetieth day. Three months and what have we learned from each other. Nothing to write “home” about. Really, I broke my glasses, so? Virgil’s A’s And B’s

Friday, November 11, 2022

Saga 133 ~ Virgil’s A’s And B’s ~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so the state of the union is strong. Oh no, I’m not Trump or the GQP.

Hell! Lady Sophia, I’ve had my first McRib sandwich… ever. And I didn’t go out to see Black Panther: Wakanda Forever again tonight. Anything but the elephant in the room. Or I should say doggie… Virgil has officially been here for ninety days. Three months isn’t that what THEY say about adopting, acclimating, alive, and kicking, two out of three. Sorry to say there’s nothing to write about regarding Virgil Vivi’s existence. Sophia, existence is for me; Virgil should be living. But again, what can I say about said life. There is no such thing as a bad student, right? Only a bad teacher. I’ve tried, right? Don’t get me wrong, he’s here, and I’m keeping him. I’m still questioning myself. Live or die, man!

You’re talking to the guy that nearly failed a history course because he couldn’t see the board. Like Braxton, you’ll hear about my glasses until receiving new specs. Sophia, I am the “man” who failed a college course because the teacher once forgot my name on the roll. And I didn’t have the stones to correct her. Let’s not talk about my balls. I certainly don’t have any when it comes to the Day Job. On a whim, I checked the bulletin board in the break room. They had all the employees in the decorations except for me… Should I be frightened? Should I stop this somewhat confession like you’re Inspector Echo? I wanted to tell you about Virgil Vivi’s State of the Union, right?

Okay, in ninety days, Virgil Vivi Bradford has stopped hacking… for the most part. There are whole days that he goes without a cough or a gasp. Sophia, Virgil’s not dying. Well, that could mean a lot of things. Virgil refuses to leave Braxton’s room for the most part. V goes to the Den and lies on the couch if I’m there reading. He scrambles to the rooms I push him towards. As I place him at the top of the stairs, he walks backward to Braxton’s room, not taking his eyes off me. I haven’t yelled at him or levied punishments. He’s gotten into crapping on the concrete landing outside. V doesn’t do stairs, not yet. He’s learning. But with my broken glasses, am I? Virgil’s A’s And B’s

649 Days Without B III, Day 090 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 132 ~GLASS Dismissed, B, V~

Went to see Black Panther: Wakanda Forever today. I can’t say how much I saw with broken glasses and watching with an old pair. I need to take a look around, at Virgil, at existence, sigh. And learn how to live? GLASS Dismissed, B, V

Thursday, November 10, 2022

Saga 132 ~GLASS Dismissed, B, V~

648 Days Without B III, Day 089 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You were too smart for your own good sometimes. Is there such a thing? Myself?

People thought it was because of the glasses. That’s where I was today, Wednesday, November 9, 2022. I went to the eye doctor. It wasn’t by choice, Braxton. Broken glasses. Plus, you’re joining the club. You know, talking to you for two days. But I don’t mind when it’s you. Of course, five girls are gasping or sighing with relief. I don’t know B. Speaking of the ladies. So, um, I had to buy new glasses. The deed is done, and I’m another $206.00 in the hole. Can I go a day without thinking about sex? Try a day not wondering about my lost boy. Not your fault, B III. Hell! I couldn’t see you if I wanted Braxton. Glasses fucked and all. I’m trying!

But give your Dad a pretty brunette in glasses, gushing about me. Yeah, I’m in trouble. Or how do the kids say, shut up and take my money? She upsold your Dad quite a bit. Well, it could be worse, Triple B. While I was sitting there thinking about doing some Triple X shit. $732.00 was the total price for today. But Tuesday, I ensured I had my insurance and paperwork cocked, locked, and ready to rock. Virgil appreciates eating. But I still don’t like looking into mirrors. Which I did a lot of today. Um, Wednesday. The glasses I bought were not in my black battle standard but brown. Staring at her tits but your eyes, lower… I mean, you’re short, not in, um…

Only I’m sure I’m going to Hell. Yet the thought did cross my mind, again, that looking through your eyes. I mean your perspective. Could this all be your doing? That makes me a horrible human being, Braxton. My paranoia surrounding you? No, that’s Virgil’s thing. What? I have yet to have had any time to train him. But here we are 89 days in. Three months B III. However, did I teach you Triple B? I didn’t. I was there sitting on your mom’s couch. You and I learned from each other. But to be without you, Braxton. The last look you gave me. Maybe you know I can’t stand looking at myself anymore. So I went to see Black Panther: Wakanda Forever today. But, GLASS Dismissed, B, V

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 126 ~B The Book, V~

Will I ever tell Virgil’s story someday? If anything, the only reason I’m still alive is to make sure B III’s stories get out. But with the story of my existence. Well, there’s a reason I don’t come back to read these things. B The Book, V.

Friday, November 4, 2022

Saga 126 ~B The Book, V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure all my books aren’t about dead fur babies. But Hell, I wrote two.

I must remind myself that it’s NaNoWriMo Season. And this is day 004. Well, Sophia, I’m time-traveling a week as it’s Sunday, October 30, 2022. The day before Halloween. But what could be scarier than today Lady Sophia? I’m trying to get out of a shift at the Day Job. And I don’t know. This week could be worse than the last. Inevitable conclusion. It’s like that movie Office Space, “every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.” And then I think about the day that I fear is coming. Universally feared. Only I have “lived” through the worst day of my existence. As much as I didn’t want to, Lady Sophia. And even today, (screams) “Do Something!”

Well, something more than looking up song lyrics or quotes to movies. It’s why we’re having this conversation on a Sunday. And not when I talked to Lady Sophia and my son, ha-ha. How about the Man in the Mirror? Oh, I could read his expression. What he’d say? Something that would have the cops on the door faster than anything I’ve searched for. Amazon books, Virgil Vivi’s eyes, my ever emptying bank account. But I got an idea. Okay, enough of one to keep me here until the new year. That is to say, if I’m not being such a lazy ass. So like, when the doctor told me to eat “healthy.” I knew there and then. I’m screwed. The story of my life.

Oh, I’ll never write it. Because first, I need to pick a new novel to read, Lady Sophia. Damn Kindle! Now I need to write something new for NaNoWriMo. By the skin of my teeth, I got through the last one, pain and all. I was saying the doc, like the repairman… all that cash. Then, of course, is Gulp. How long has that been on my Six Impossible Things List? I saw it again, talking to the Man in the Mirror. Another waste of bucks, body, but a book? Braxton’s books, of course. That’s why I don’t have permission to die yet. Braxton’s story. When I’m sure, my son lives forever… He’s not Virgil. Not contemplating that. No dog books? B The Book, V

642 Days Without B III, Day 083 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 125 ~B Seeing You Virgil~

I still do plenty of reading, but I should get my eyes checked out soon. Why? The Drs. prescriptions didn’t do anything. How many times will I go over B III’s paperwork? Grieving books and those that suck. Now, 2V’s papers. “B Seeing You Virgil”

Thursday, November 3, 2022

Saga 125 ~B Seeing You Virgil~

641 Days Without B III, Day 082 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As usual, I’m Time-Traveling, but you can guess how Thursday is going. As for today…

Well, it’s Saturday, October 29, 2022. To think it was Saturday, August 13, 2022; I hoped I found you again. I’ve been thinking about how long it will take me to get over losing you. I mean again. The last book I read wasn’t about reincarnation. But about coping with loss. Braxton, can you see the future? What am I reading now? While we’re on the subject, I opened up “Too Late” by Colleen Hoover. I wanted to see if the Year End Kindle Challenge would count it. Between now and December 31, so no. What do you think, Braxton? You didn’t have much of an opinion on my reading material. As long as we are together, B? I Haven’t been on the couch lately.

Only I did catch up with reading today. It was between wanting to fall back asleep and crying. The writer was talking about dying before you. Braxton, given this existence… Braxton, without question, I’d have died for you. “I’d get Him to swap our places.”

Who, God? I’ve never seen him, but I’ve heard. Um, according to the dog tag I wear every day. You are the word of God. And as they say, men love darkness rather than light. Braxton, you are the light. And it’s people or rather the hatred I was given that is the darkness. In a minute, you’ll have me sounding like Samuel L. Jackson. Can I find things to look at? The beauty. I can’t see you in Virgil.

Rosette Christopher, for example. Braxton, that’s why I gave up. You know what I mean. Not now, but 161 days ago after you died. I was trying to make you look away from me, Braxton. I hope that Paradise is a sight better than what you had here. This existence. Virgil does have your color by his eyes. But in 82 days, how many times do I look at them? The highlight of these days is my face mashed against the screen, looking at Yabbos. Whenever I leave the house. And the fear takes over, and my eyes flitter everywhere. Braxton, didn’t I say, though, I wish we were together. To close these eyes permanently. You don’t like me saying that. B Seeing You Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad