Tag: Story

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

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“I never bawled!” A Christmas Story. It’s two weeks and change past “E-Day,” and it’s already “Christmas Time In Hell,” or the Bad Place, as my boys bark. But I’m not crying about it, playing around, and “I Won’t Dance.” Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling.

Thursday, September 24, 2026

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

2062 Days Without B III, Day 1503 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? “Fighting and trouble are my middle name.” Yours, “Barks”; your brother’s “Vivi”.

“Duh”! I want to avoid talking about today. I don’t want to talk about next week either, B. Damned if I do work and damned if I don’t. Why can’t this be work? Braxton side-eye

I haven’t bawled over you and Virgil much this week. And maybe I should… Keep my eyes nice and lubricated. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t worried about going blind since all the bugs, the bug spray, and any other bullshit getting in my eyes. Even now…

Alice Braga and Mark Ruffalo in “The Blindness”. Seriously? I’d say I should send you to time-out, but I did that permanently five years ago. There I go crying again. “Stop Crying Your Heart Out,” right? Or “Eat More Chicken.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

It beats the alternative, though. “’Cause we men, ain’t we?” “Glory” be! We are but men, Braxton. You, Virgil, and I. You licking your downstairs. Me and your potential future stepmom, and Virgil is looking for something of his own. Like father, like son, balless.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. Your brother and I are both cowards. But then I go talking to M Anime, and I’m all “Balls Deep In Love.” I know B III, I really do. Ahem, ew.

But I did promise to find you a mom someday… Stepmom. Speaking of promises, B…

We’re still in Emergence Day month, and with my last paycheck… Uh oh! I was thinking I could get that Emergence Day dinner I couldn’t afford on the day. Work?

The Bad Place. This week and last have not been a ball. And this coming week, I go back to being broke. I even wasted twenty bucks at the food truck today. Shared with Virgil…

And as far as broke, that’s what I was doing at the Bad Place today. I had to break a pallet that was stuck on the pallet jack this morning. In front of so many babes… Uh, boobs/yabbos… Not quite… Busybodies? B, for all intents and purposes, it was humiliation galore. I felt like bawling. And I don’t mean playing b-ball- the real ick, B.

Bawling my eyes out, drooling over M Anime’s big beautiful yabbos, even balling as in playing Whiteout Survival. Life’s no ball. Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 083 -LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil-

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Someone not so wise once said, “These b*tches ain’t loyal.” Uh, I said not so wise, not that it wasn’t true. I’m fortunate to have loyalty. My boys, my woman, uh… But I don’t say, like, love and loyalty, right. LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil

Tuesday, September 22, 2026

Legacy 083 -LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? So why don’t I say it then? It sounds better in Spanish… And I’m learning.

Hell! Have I known you longer than my firstborn son? Triond? That might be older than Braxton. Back when I thought writing would save me… Would save us, not knowing.

Love, if I had a penny for everything I don’t know. Because “Hey Jealousy,” the first time I found love- I mean real- I will watch cities burn for you; I will bathe in blood for you; I will initiate genocides for you; take a bullet for you; you don’t even have to ask; make John Wick look like a freaking priest type of love was for Braxton Barks Bradford.

Darling, “He’s My Son,” period. There is nothing else. And I haven’t said “I love you,” Virgil, to his brother since Saturday, August 13, 2022.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But ‘All The Above,’ as it was with his brother. Why? Virgil Vivi Bradford. Honestly…

“He’s My Son.” I may be a shitty father. Really… Virgil took a ‘dump’ in the hallway today, and I have him on punishment. Anyway, I care for him. I keep saying, He’s My Son.

And you are my wife, my lover, my woman, my girl, “My Goddess,” the mother of our crumb snatchers. Make no mistake, we made those, as I say with Braxton. I didn’t pour the Bisquick, but he was/is my Pancake. In this case, we often talk about me pouring the Bisquick and you making us a whole flippin’ stack of pancakes. I “Don’t Mind” Love.

You know I love them all, Always and Forever, Love.

And as I said at the beginning, you know I love you, right? Again, there’s Virgil, and there is also my craft. But how do I choose to show that love? I still hate myself…

Seriously, all forty-two years. I even miss all my Ben-Hur slavery humor, you know, 41

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well and live”
From 1959’s Ben-Hur

A bad word? Slavery? I ain’t fucking MAGA. And it’s weird, you know. If I’m ‘lazy’ loving myself, I’m even lazier when it comes to hate. Everything is fucking exhausting.

Fun sometimes. Like the names I call you in the ‘throes of passion’. Cumslut? Damn!

Only, I can’t say… I can’t show. For example, there’s a… pornographic movie, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, and I watched. Well, she knows my love language? Loyalty. LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil

2060 Days Without B III, Day 1501 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 079 -Virgil’s Scheduled To B-

Will

Read it and weep. Either I have a week like this one. And not just because of M Anime’s yabbos. Or I’m a Lazy Ass with Too Much (Clap Clap) Time on My Hands. Would it be fair if I became what B wanted? What V and M deserve? “Virgil’s Scheduled To B.”

Friday, September 18, 2026

Legacy 079 -Virgil’s Scheduled To B-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because I’m an author? “Yes! Yes, I lied. I’m a writer. I give the truth scope!”

For the love of everything, can I use my own words! And where does that get my dear lady Soph? Lying in bed with my jeans around my ankles on a late Friday evening, hmm

I finally got around to reading a damn alarm clock. And trying… Braxton knows I’m trying to be productive, to put things in perspective, and to place myself as… well, today, I plundered, pillaged, and pilfered what little money I had, and for what, honestly?

Sophia, after that, it was between being a good father to Virgil and a fella… A good boyfriend to M Anime. She’s a much better writer than me. Let’s just say it’s damn HARD to write when I have my hand around my cock. Eww!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And should we even get into all the books I’m reading, not reading, finished. Eww!

Sophia, I’ll stop that, but anyway, I checked Goodreads in a while. Seriously…

1: Pledged To Him 12-14
2: Harem Lab Parts 1-3
3: Emergency Skin
4: Harem of the Dead
5: Sleepover Harem 1-3

Just in case you ever wondered where all my ideas and love of harems come from. Or am I just being lazy? I could admit I failed because I told B III where my writing would get me. I told M Anime the story inspired by her that I still haven’t finished the last page.

And that’s making Virgil late too. Because if I didn’t have all this worry… All of this fear… Um, happiness?

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

I swear this quote isn’t going anywhere for a while because it does encapsulate why I ain’t ever happy. And I never will be. Even when I’m writing my own schedule. Yeah, I read more bad news from the latest Day Job schedule. And before that, it was reading people’s eyes at the Day Job and everywhere in between. And as Matchbox 20 will sing:

“I Feel Stupid”
Matchbox Twenty

One more reason the Archive remains unfinished. Because there is always time to change, Sophia, but I need it scheduled. I keep trying to put a timetable on it. Again, the Magic Glasses/MIMA created a schedule for a whole harem. But me becoming fearless. Happy

Or on Virgil being a good boy. Read all about it. Virgil’s Scheduled To B

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

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It’s not even Halloween yet. E-Day has been over. The most horrific day ever was back in January. But today I’m in line, crying over my boy, money slipping away, worried about every blip in my vision, etc. The Horror, the horror! Horrors B And V

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

2055 Days Without B III, Day 1496 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? I can’t get that Michael Kewley quote out of my mind, B.

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

Here in my car, I feel safest of all… Ok, No. Your Dad is a liar, but I’m one for an earworm. Um, sounds terrible, doesn’t it? Somewhat like, “slept like a rock.” Headstone? Graveyard.

But I’m not scared of dying, Braxton. Is it that I will ALWAYS be in mourning over you, or is it all the freaking spooky season crap at the Day Job? Two things being true…

Honestly… Today, while I worked in fear within the Bad Place, as you and your brother think of it. As I sat in terror in the car. As I woke in horror of having to come and talk to you…

I love you, B and 2-V… But allow me to rip off Alice in Wonderland.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Six Things That Scare Me:

1: Forgetting You, Failing Virgil. It just popped in my head today. Greatest love I’ve ever known, you and 2-V

2: Losing Your Potential Stepmom. I cried over you. And she hates me comparing. You and her are my heart.

3: My Eyes, My Eyes. I ‘thought’ I got bug spray in my eyes after recent events. I’m not blind

4: The Black Ant Incursion. Carpenter Ants destroyed the backyard shed last year. Now little ants on the kitchen floor.

5: Leaving The Bad Place. We hate it, Little B. But I got called into the office yesterday… Moving shelves

6: I Need Money, B. You’d be proud, Braxton. I shared fries with your brother. But $250 a week! Fuck!

And I should watch my language, I know. Such a small word, but with such a big impact. B III. And with all these words, what? Am I building a life? You don’t need happiness.

But that’s what I was thinking about… “No presence of fear.” When I was a Senior in high school, after the homecoming pep rally for about five minutes. Whenever I would wake up and see you sitting at the foot of the bed. To my fears. You shall not pass!

Seriously, you don’t want to know this one, B. But when me and your stepmom make you and Virgil some siblings. Man is a small word. I Love You is a small phrase. Why not FEAR? Horrors B And V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 076 -There B Elephants Virgil-

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My Ma and sis are sorority sisters. Which one? An elephant never forgets. But how I wish today I could forget like one of the students of Balamb Garden. I have two GFs, as in Guardian Forces: B and V. But my GF might be mad. There B Elephants Virgil

Tuesday, September 15, 2026

Legacy 076 -There B Elephants Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Hell, “I knew I loved you before I met you. I think I dreamed you…”

And so on, so forth. “Savage Garden”? Makes sense. When it comes to you, “Well, pardon my manners, just something about you turns me to a savage. And you love gardening, my love. The only things I know about gardening are: I don’t want to hear the neighbors complain; Braxton and Virgil hate that the weeds are above their heads; and Final Fantasy VIII MIGHT be my favorite in the franchise. It was my start, really. What’s My Age Again

Forty-two, and I’m too old to be playing video games or all this pop culture… Well, if you believed that, we wouldn’t be together. Same if you told me to forget about my two sons.

I love all my kids. I love you. But myself?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

How much I hate myself. Well, that too. “I found the greatest love of all, inside of me,” is a goddamn lie. And can I cut the playlist off for a minute or two? How I wish, especially with what happened today. Down With Webster’s “Time To Win”; can fuck right off with Cody Chesnutt’s “Look Good in Leather.” And I should stop saying “FUCK” unless it’s “Just You And Me.” I swear, love, General Hospital’s Rie Sinclair song, seriously!

Anyway, what are you going to be mad at me for today? There’s always another song, and it’s this: I’m just a “Sucker for Pain.” Do you know what I love most in the world?

My sons and our kids, you, and my craft (Writing).

But what also brings me the most grief, pain, and terror… “There Be Dragons Here.”

“I was told the Golden Company had elephants.”
Queen Cersei

Under no circumstances am I letting any of you go… Don’t I make love sound like “Obsession”. Not the 2025 Horror… No “One Wish Willow” here. However, we named one of our daughters Willow. Anyway, what is my freaking point? It’s the pain, my love.

Mental anguish. I don’t do physical pain… Smacking my ass, scratching my back, the struggle. You know what I mean; love it. It’s the mental stuff: “These wounds won’t seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There’s just too much that time cannot erase.” They say an elephant never forgets. And in pain I have love. But being forgetful… There B Elephants Virgil

2053 Days Without B III, Day 1494 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 072 -Braxton Three Earths Virgil-

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Friday, September 11, 2026

Legacy 072 -Braxton Three Earths Virgil-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Stories that don’t need telling: either “A” no one is listening, “B” stupidity, “C” no profit.

But there I was, a high school senior, September 11, 2001, years before Braxton Barks.

Speaking of barking, the Psychology teacher was screaming, the principal was roaring, “turn’em on now!” The monitor above us showing something like Battle: Los Angeles…

Seriously though, Sophia, I know “New York.” But I promise I’m not insane like B.o.B.

Well, I’m trying not to be. But on that day… Honestly, Soph, it’s the one day other than Homecoming as a Senior that I remember from that Hell. What the hell, or rather WTF, hmm? I wanted to go back to the house. No, not because I was sad about the attack. I was as opportunistic as Theo, exploiting Baby Diego’s death in the 2006 film “Children of Men,” Soph.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

If only I could create a story like that. Hell! I couldn’t properly tell you my 9/11 story, Soph, and here we are 25 years later. Writing still sucks, but I’ve brought Braxton back, ha!

“The Unfinished Archive.” I’ve been trying to discover where it began. The first time I saw my three animas together, M Anime, Kyouko Sakai, and “Lily,” was Friday, March 2026, Journey 248, “B Cause There’s V.” What was so special about that day? This world?

I would say I hate this world as much as any other, but I keep thinking about this snippet of a quote. “Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear.” Sophia, this explains why I’m never happy. The Unfinished Archive…

Wed and Thur, I found it first and foremost. And today” This world, this universe…

Sophia, on such a solemn occasion, naturally, M Anime and I were getting off. “Puta…”

No, I’m not calling you that. And the future potential mother of Braxton and Virgil’s stepsiblings would not appreciate me saying that word out loud. But there is so much reading to do—every dollar in my ‘Empty’ bank account. The Day Job schedule has me working almost day and night. And how many cans of Bloom will I need to buy? And more books, Sophia. This is why I’m so exhausted today. Living in the past, in “The Land Of Make Believe,” a porno set, etc. New York, New York! Braxton Three Earths Virgil

2049 Days Without B III, Day 1490 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 071 -V’s Number Of B’s-

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“Save the cheerleader, save the world.” I can’t blame Hayden Panettiere and Heroes for my failing grades. I was long gone. I had a brief thing for blondes. I wasn’t worried about bucks… I met Braxton a year before that show… “V’s Number Of B’s.”

Thursday, September 10, 2026

Legacy 071 -V’s Number Of B’s-

2048 Days Without B III, Day 1489 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? Humiliations, how many times I’ll say hmm or hah and her yabbos.

I mean, your potential future stepmom’s of course. But it’s only 5:30 in the morning.

Ay me, sad hours seem long.

Romeo & Juliet, Shakespeare 

Honestly, Shakespeare? You can blame the Bloom for that. And as for that ‘sadness,’ um…

Yeah, you can’t forget the umm. Yeah, your Dad is such a caveman, and maybe we’ll get to my STUPIDITY in a few. But let’s start with “Regrets, I had a few.” Like this morning, B? A random thought, but drinking Bloom didn’t start until you were gone. Energy shots?

Yeah, maybe. But it’s always surreal when I notice things “AB” (After Braxton) after you.

Should I talk about “All These Things That I’ve Done” with the Magic Glasses/MIMA, B? To be fair, you’re in it every day. You and your brother. But your Dad…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I’m a bad man, but I’m not the worst. At least when it equates to EVIL. I’m far less MAGA Evil and more “Resident Evil.” Distractions, films, and video games. And still at 42, B…

I’m not dead yet. Or at least that was my first thought when I woke at 4:30 and dicked around for an hour. And I’m not talking about being with M Anime. Again, it’s early.

She’ll make her presence known soon enough. Her boobs/yabbos, naughtiness, and… the one “kitty” she still keeps. Braxton, I know you don’t want to hear about that, my boy, eww! But look at it this way: I join you in Heaven or stay with M.

D as in death, D as in grades, or giving the D to a woman who will give you and Virgil even more siblings. And I still have to name my first two-legged son after you, his big brother. But with all of this, Braxton, I can’t sing “What A Wonderful World.” No, not yet.

Not without you? Hell, how much did I think about you on Emergence Day? Seriously?

That’s another thing. I thought mostly about the BUCKS I didn’t have. The BABIES that M Anime wants. Your brother, who is still asleep in my bed while we’re chatting.

Honestly, B, you were always waiting for me, like she does, as everyone does. Save the world. Make the grade. Something! V’s Number Of B’s

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 069 -B Better, Me, Virgil-

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I can’t even talk about E-Day. Was it BETTER than most? Well, I didn’t spend all day ‘talking’. I have another reason to hate the day, though. But that’s my girl’s business. And what’s mine? Being a better boyfriend, father, etc. B Better, Me, Virgil

Tuesday, September 8, 2026

Legacy 069 -B Better, Me, Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Better than yesterday? I try, you know. “Do… or do not. There is no try.”

See, it’s this right here. The fact that I will still quote Star Wars at forty-two. Forty-two, my love. My first, second day of being this old, this way. And on my sister’s birthday too.

Something I shouldn’t forget, or rather, someone. As I forgot about myself long ago, hmm.

“Long ago, long ago, long ago.” I can remember snippets of the song/poem of Antoninus from the movie Spartacus as much as the words of Master Yoda. And there’s Braxton.

There is always my Braxton. And Virgil too, of course. But I’ve been thinking about something I read yesterday. Well, rather Sunday, because E-Day… We will get to that, love.

It was “Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I better be happy. And you want to know the last time I was happy? You might hate me, my goddess. I think about those words: “God has not given us the spirit of fear…”

Jesus or Jeezu, better Braxton, because he was my little god. I call you “My Goddess.” I still remember arguing with you because you thought I was saying you weren’t “Human.” You do know how I feel about humanity. Humans are assholes, accidents, abbreviations for things like life, love, or so I feel lately. “I said maybe you’re gonna be the one who saves me? And after all. You’re my Wonderwall.” You, Braxton, 2-V, family.

You’re better. To the “Man in the Mirror.” “You’re a god. And I am not.”

And when you M and everyone, my furry little ones Braxton and Virgil, their two-legged siblings that I tell every day, “Good Luck, Have FUN, Don’t Die.” Be good, and if you can’t be good, don’t get caught.” Mi familia… Hell! I’m trying to learn Spanish for you and our growing family. The one single thing today at 5:13 AM that shows me being, um

Better. Better at finishing my damn thought. When was the last time I felt happiness?

Honestly, it was being asleep and knowing that Braxton was/is watching over me. NO FEAR! Not like yesterday. I’ve wasted forty-two years of existence with the knowledge but without the know-how to be a better man. How to Git Gud. Better. B Better, Me, Virgil

“You make me want to be a better man”
As Good as It Gets (1997)

2046 Days Without B III, Day 1487 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 065 -B Financially Responsible, Virgil-

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Friday, September 4, 2026

Legacy 065 -B Financially Responsible, Virgil-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Does this story include Virgil wearing pants? If it doesn’t, he’s clean. As for me… SIGH

I’m clean… Out of money! No gifts! No great food! No girls… Seriously, M Anime.

Honestly, I can’t bring back my Lost Boy; I can’t get back my ‘loot’; I’m still a loser with Virgil, but M Anime’s love. That has been found, recovered. And what else is there, Sophia

Books? I need every buck I can find. And that’s what I’ve been writing out, reading, and trying to make sense of. I’m already in the hole, but let’s say I have $80… Emergence Day

Over half of that is wiped out between cake, bottled water, and four cans of Bloom. What about actual food? Chicken, BBQ, or $20 worth of groceries. Barely enough for an E-Day dinner at the food truck. Surf and Turf?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I wish. B, I wish! Journey 065 A B Wish Virgil But let’s say this is a love story, hmm?

Let’s say I am a ‘real’ 42-year-old man on Emergence Day. And “A Man Provides.”

Meaning M Anime was here, and other than her yabbos, yo, I have money; yes, my son has returned; my Braxton, my son Virgil, embraces a yolo lifestyle; and yes, I too wish to live.

I’d still want to stay in the house, but I did meet Braxton’s Favorite Girl at the movies. We watched “Nerve.” We came back and ate leftover pizza. I’d be Dining at the Y with M Anime. Really? It’s my day, and I spent most of today talking about what I wanted to do SEXUALLY.

And what about The Unfinished Archive? I need to track down when I began that story, Sophia. The story that doesn’t pay me like “My Turn To B III.” How dare I, right, my lady?

I don’t use my boys to make me “Economically Viable.” But if Braxton can live in the Archive, I can at least appreciate being born into it. Because Emergence Day, if you haven’t figured it out, was not a good day for me, Earth, or Sera (Gears of War Franchise)

Everything was destroyed, and I’m sitting here just waiting for my hole in the ground.
Much like my bank account. T-Minus 3 days, my Lady. And after the day I’ve had and will have- Emergence Day. B Financially Responsible, Virgil

2042 Days Without B III, Day 1483 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

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Thursday, September 3, 2026

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

2041 Days Without B III, Day 1482 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? The 2nd was horrific. I hate today. The 6th Fucked. Emergence Day

T-Minus four days. What’s the plan? Let’s start with the simple facts, Braxton. Ok, money

Not enough for anything. As a matter of fact, do you remember that twenty dollars?

Effing Day Job! And no, I’m not ready to talk about why I hate Kermit so much. B III. Me?

Oh, you know I’m going to talk about how much I hate myself today. But the twenty I’ll have to put up as the Glow Box people rob me yet again. With enough left for a cup of popcorn chicken and a can of Bloom. Are Big Macs still $8.00? So what’s with my RAGE?

You and your brother are good people, and you ain’t even people. I wish I weren’t. I hate forty-two, B.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

But that’s Monday’s problem, right? And I’ve already forgotten how bad this Friday is going to be. Again, I built up one word in my head: “Disgusting,” and Fucking panicked.

And today, that word, or these words, are the panic: “Birthday” and “Emergence Day,” B.

So please allow me… AHEM! I wish I were never born. I hate the fact that I wake up every single morning. I hate the fact that I killed the one who loved me the most. That is you, B.
.
And my Olds? I hate that I’m not the son they wish they had. A nearly 42-year-old bum, I know. And the ones I do love- Braxton, your little brother Virgil, M Anime- think I hate them so much, B.

Like porno, if I stay listing off everything that I hate about myself, you could pretty much call me Captain America. “I can do this all day.” Rage, rage against the dying of the light

What light B III? In your eyes? I handled that one. No cake this year. And with M, I try.

Virgil is whiter than white, but “The 3-3-3 rule” has never worked. Three days, three weeks, three months. He’s been here four years, and he’s still scared to death, Braxton.

Today, I’m scared of the Day Job, the lack of dollars, my wayward dick, etc. And also eww, right. The Rage Virus? There’s no party here but the ANXIETY. Horny as Hell, eww. Hateful. RAGEFUL. Older. Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad