Tag: Voices

Saga 126 ~B The Book, V~

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Will I ever tell Virgil’s story someday? If anything, the only reason I’m still alive is to make sure B III’s stories get out. But with the story of my existence. Well, there’s a reason I don’t come back to read these things. B The Book, V.

Friday, November 4, 2022

Saga 126 ~B The Book, V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure all my books aren’t about dead fur babies. But Hell, I wrote two.

I must remind myself that it’s NaNoWriMo Season. And this is day 004. Well, Sophia, I’m time-traveling a week as it’s Sunday, October 30, 2022. The day before Halloween. But what could be scarier than today Lady Sophia? I’m trying to get out of a shift at the Day Job. And I don’t know. This week could be worse than the last. Inevitable conclusion. It’s like that movie Office Space, “every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.” And then I think about the day that I fear is coming. Universally feared. Only I have “lived” through the worst day of my existence. As much as I didn’t want to, Lady Sophia. And even today, (screams) “Do Something!”

Well, something more than looking up song lyrics or quotes to movies. It’s why we’re having this conversation on a Sunday. And not when I talked to Lady Sophia and my son, ha-ha. How about the Man in the Mirror? Oh, I could read his expression. What he’d say? Something that would have the cops on the door faster than anything I’ve searched for. Amazon books, Virgil Vivi’s eyes, my ever emptying bank account. But I got an idea. Okay, enough of one to keep me here until the new year. That is to say, if I’m not being such a lazy ass. So like, when the doctor told me to eat “healthy.” I knew there and then. I’m screwed. The story of my life.

Oh, I’ll never write it. Because first, I need to pick a new novel to read, Lady Sophia. Damn Kindle! Now I need to write something new for NaNoWriMo. By the skin of my teeth, I got through the last one, pain and all. I was saying the doc, like the repairman… all that cash. Then, of course, is Gulp. How long has that been on my Six Impossible Things List? I saw it again, talking to the Man in the Mirror. Another waste of bucks, body, but a book? Braxton’s books, of course. That’s why I don’t have permission to die yet. Braxton’s story. When I’m sure, my son lives forever… He’s not Virgil. Not contemplating that. No dog books? B The Book, V

642 Days Without B III, Day 083 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 119 ~Virgil, B Having Words~

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“Me Before You” isn’t on the Kindle Challenge List, but since I read “Too Late” before, I wonder if they’ll count it. A book about suicide and a book that made me want to… you know. Virgil’s paperwork says he’ll live, I think… Virgil, B Having Words.

Friday, October 28, 2022

Saga 119 ~Virgil, B Having Words~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but at this rate, I would be on my way to Switzerland without question, for sure.

Well, in a “Me Before You” sort of way. I hate when I need to say I saw the movie but never read the book. Hell! The last thing I need is to think about the hot brunette Emilia Clarke. How not to think about sex when it’s getting shoved in my face everywhere? And speaking of books, I have no desire to read Sophia. What about “Too Late” by Colleen Hoover? It’s not a horrible book by any means. But it was a slough to get through, sigh. You know how the Kindle Challenge is. Only if it’s not that, I was tearing up a bit with “Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet.” I have yet to read Virgil Vivi’s paperwork.

Well, other than the bill. I rather read that and his medication than the word, Euthanasia. My Braxton! I’m not crying yet. I’m much too tired. But with the way V is lying right here. Braxton died on a week like this. No! I murdered B on a day like this, or I was beginning to. I hated the whole damn world! Oh, and I still do. And all I felt at the time, Sophia… Today that’s what’s pissing me off the most. I can’t tell you why. Sure the words are all there. Horny, Fired, Suicidal! Things I shouldn’t be putting out there in the universe among even worse. But Wednesday summed it all up, RAGE. It even beat out Tuesday’s fear and humiliation.

Braxton never ever made me ashamed, and neither has Virgil. If anything being a father… Once again, I ain’t Virgil’s daddy. I’m sure I called him Braxton by mistake again. Inevitable, am I right? Or perhaps I dreamed it. These days, as the song plays, “The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.” I’ve said I no longer say my prayers. Sophia, when I go to bed, it’s with this one thought; I don’t want to wake up, don’t make me. One more thing that shows Virgil ain’t Braxton. Again he’s right here next to me. Fifteen minutes from now, I’ll get up and take him outside to use the bathroom. But my existence isn’t “The Shit.” Virgil, B Having Words.

635 Days Without B III, Day 076 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 112 ~Sounding Like B, Virgil~

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I wish I could say, “you’re just like your brother.” Or rather, “you are your brother.” I’m leaning more towards V Being Virgil. But when I leave, it’s like hearing two dogs instead of one. But when I hear those nails clacking… Sounding Like B Virgil

Friday, October 21, 2022

Saga 112 ~Sounding Like B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I still think about cloning my son. If ashes were enough. Another reason to cry…

No, that’s been Virgil’s thing for at least a week, maybe more. As I’m sure I’ve told one of the girls, I didn’t notice until recently. It sounded like two dogs fighting every day (sigh). Isn’t that precisely what’s happening? Braxton isn’t going anywhere, and now Virgil is here, so… Am I giving up on the reincarnation bit? I’m reading “Come Back: Reincarnation, Our Pets, Second Chances” by Tina Proffitt. It’s “different…” weird, madness, inevitably? I believe I will see Triple B again. Unfinished business, like all the stories I have written and haven’t done a damn thing with. That’s another reason I cry every time I see my Day Job schedule. A triple to Hell and Hell! Virgil shares the sentiment as Braxton did.

Well, once upon a time, at least. Soon B’s tears turned happier. He wasn’t crying when I left but with my return… I’d say I read the situation wrong but lacking thumbs; he had his little tail. Yeah, he would cut through the air with that thing. His hair remains everywhere, Sophia. But now Virgil is adding on. Although his birthday was nothing to write about Sophia. But here I am, trying. I bought him a burger and fries, that’s it. What about a gift, a toy? Um, I was talking to Braxton’s Aunt yesterday, telling her about 2V’s first vet appointment. Besides my waterslide dream, I was dreaming about what the vet might say about Virgil’s nails. That’s the only reason I’m reading paperwork.

I want to know if Virgil can get his nails clipped before then. We had an incident yesterday when one of his nails got wrapped in the pillow. I had to cut him loose. Remember how B was about his paws? After I got Virgil free, I almost said something. Sophia, I wanted to say, “Well, you did better than Braxton.” Sophia, that’s a never, for damn sure. Only now, Virgil’s starting to walk from Braxton’s room to here… Courage? And me being the selfish bastard I am, you know what that means. No more Triple X if he can waltz in here anytime. How about when he starts talking back like B learned to? Is Virgil conversing with my Braxton? Sounding Like B, Virgil

628 Days Without B III, Day 069 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Lesson 107 ~You Are Not A Caveman~

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Caveman had no choice but, to tell the truth without words, only the civilized find reasons to lie and yet for some reason I want to be one of them as well. You Are Not A Caveman but I am not a liar either

Monday, October 16, 2017

Lesson 107 ~You Are Not A Caveman~

Second Rule Madam Justice,

No Fear because there was not a word for it, and though I’m sure they felt it, hell as a society we damn near worship it by what right did we give it voice? Do we think ourselves civilized, evolved, just less stupid, that’s a great fear, I sound stupid?

It wouldn’t matter if I ever escaped my cave or if I remained for all time, word and sound echo off the wall and yes I am my own worse critic. We all continue to act on primal urges don’t we, “Indian Gone” and I both agree if some men would just shut up, men would have an easier time with women. What about the fact that we have so many words, so many languages and nobody seems to understand anyone, they just talk and talk but they never listen and yet I’m a fool.

Here’s something for your consideration, who have I ever asked that question of, what do you think of me, do you want me, do you need me, do you believe in me, do you love me, who has actually heard God’s own voice? We’re taught to believe words over deeds, one of my least favorite sayings is a picture is worth a thousand words, dance, art, photography, what about the concept of spoken word? Words are cheap so no wonder people buy thousands and I sit here a pauper or maybe I rather find the words I really want and yet here we are Justice.

How many times would I rather call everyone else stupid, that I can’t be bothered with the idiocracy of it all, I have so many voices speaking of above me, for me, about me, that I wonder what would it matter if I spoke at all? Anxiety Justice, because what is it I want to say other than the truth, that I have buried it along with a caveman because the truth is always the truth no matter the word, action or the speaker himself. That is why I can’t be the caveman, I have to speak, and for the love of everything if I choose to remain silent, don’t let my actions themselves hide the truth, smile, laugh, pretend.

This is simply a statement of fact, the caveman learned, evolved, adapted, overcome and with so much time I should already know this by now You Are Not A Caveman.

I Will Have No Fear

 

Lesson 096 ~Is It Time Yet~

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There is never a right time or enough time is there Luna, or maybe I’m just ashamed but it could be worse, I could be a liar. Is It Time Yet, maybe you should ask me tomorrow but really what about today, maybe I’ll take in another movie hmm

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Lesson 096 ~Is It Time Yet~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear but isn’t that the question nowadays, my life must truly be boring that I’m thinking about something I heard from Fox News, wouldn’t you agree?

When will we ever talk about my fixation on brunettes or for the wrong women in general, fourth grade it was a Muslim girl, sixth grade it was a blonde in remission that I’ll admit I was actually cruel to, seventh to ninth grade I stopped looking at black women for the most part, and senior year to now it has been mostly brunettes. I could probably write a whole book on why that is but as for today’s lesson, I don’t think it’s time yet but I put it out there didn’t I. Hell I’m still thinking about what this blog is going to turn into one of these days, now there’s something we should be talking about, money.

Fox News doesn’t want to talk about whit people either, though I work for a black manager and didn’t get paid this week, didn’t work last week but that’s beside the point, isn’t it? Maybe “Marshall” will give them something to talk about but I already did my review and while you know I’m one for reiteration but do I really want to repeat my review of a good choice.

“Hell is REPETITION.” Andre Linoge

No that would actually make too much sense now wouldn’t it Lady Lu, repeating the good and not dwelling on the bad, that’s one more girl for the virtual brothel “Echo, Justice, Luna, a Sophia…” that makes four but should I be encouraging my craziness, on one hand I have plenty of stuff that needs burying, and on the other with my book, I’m airing things out, cleaning out my closet. Doesn’t that just bring me back to money, I was telling “Indiana Gone” about my clothing choices or lack thereof but that is nothing to talk about until you find a hole in your shoe… what so I’m Scrooge.

Better call me a pimp while I have you here I suppose I should write down your role with the others so I don’t forget.

The Voices
Luna = Therapy
Justice = Rules
Echo = Past Sins
Sophia = Stories

So what have we learned besides the fact that I’m going crazier, do I have time to go there Luna, seriously Is It Time Yet?

I Will Have No Fear