Tag: Nightmares

Journey 355 ~Virgil, How Daddies B~

WillLeave a comment

Father’s Day… Add it to the day Braxton died, the day I was born, the day M Anime left. Hell, at this point, every day is pretty bad. And I didn’t even try to wrangle a free meal from Olds? B knows, Virgil and I could use one. “Virgil, How Daddies B.”

Sunday, June 21, 2026

Journey 355 ~Virgil, How Daddies B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you’re lucky you’re so down. You can’t look yourself in the eye—Virgil’s on the floor.

Well, the couch now, whatever. You’re looking down. And that means you’re not looking up, thinking about B this Father’s Day. Your firstborn, your Spirit In The Sky, Heaven side

Hell for all you know Braxton went straight down. If anybody would follow you right into Hell, it would be him. Is that why Virgil got his name? Here’s some effed up reasoning for you… You know how that Ass in The White House is putting his name on everything.

Well, Virgil was already in Hell waiting for Dante, and of course (shudders) you named your little Virgil to see you through… or simply to remember he exists—poor pupper.

Honestly, what kind of father does that make you? Wait, Father’s Day! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Harem Lab – Part One: A Steamy Men’s Harem Romance
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You’re lying. How many legs does Virgil have? Despite his white fur, it wouldn’t save him. Hell, aren’t Chihuahuas originally from Mexico? Really, this is how you’re spending the day. If you’re not lying with your mouth, you could still be lying in your room…

Seriously, besides lying about your Six Impossible Things, you have been making other lists too for those musically inclined. And not like you did for your Dear Mama. So look:

  1. “Otherworld” Final Fantasy X
  2. Holding Back The Years, Simply Red
  3. Only You, The Platters
  4. Poor Sweet Baby, Snoopy! The Musical
  5. Spirit In The Sky
  6. Dear Mama
  7. The ‘Instrumental’ in the Betterhelp Pad Thai Commercial
  8. Just Look Up, Ariana Grande

Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

So what is wrong with you right this second? You can’t tell Braxton… He’s dead. Virgil is second-born, but he’s got his own problems. Mostly that his father’s a Nobody!!!

“I’m not a nobody!”
“A man that lacks honor is a nobody.”
Clarence and Thomas
The Book of Clarence
(2024)

However, you can’t talk to your boys’ potential future stepmom. She wants your kids too!

And then there’s your Olds—a small Father’s Day greeting. An invite, dinner, worry, lies.

Cue Betterhelp Commercial “Pad Thai”

I want to join my boy more than anything. Not because I miss him so much. I hate being here. I’m scared all the time, and that’s the reason I’m so exhausted. I got my living son, my woman, and my purpose, and it’s not enough. Then it’s all too much. Hungry, horny, helpless… Enough? More? Virgil, How Daddies B

1967 Days Without B III, Day 1408 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 352 ~Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Work hard, don’t waste time, and know WHAT you want and WHY. Sacrifice. What more do I have? My Day Job is a waste. But it pays more than writing, though both of those equated to zero this week. So 20 bucks or so… “Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil”

Thursday, June 18, 2026

Journey 352 ~Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil~

1964 Days Without B III, Day 1405 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Well, I didn’t k*ll anyone today. But neither did Abraham. And where’s Isaac?

More to the point, where is the time I took to read the Bible? So I’m lying, but I did skim Genesis yesterday. And how about the book I’m reading? You know the one I lied about a couple of weeks ago, B. “The Headmaster’s Office: Angela Gets her first ‘D’”. Um, eww!

Last night I started but “Love Is Louder.” Hell, “Love Is a Long Road.” And “If It Isn’t Love…” You know, between you and Virgil’s potential stepmom and me. I swear, B, I would wake up with you sitting in my head, M Anime’s yabbos on the phone, or telling her to “Sit On My Face”. Again Eww! You don’t want to hear that, Braxton, but it’s the dream, SIGH, or her pussy “Pictures On My Phone”.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Is that what your Dad sacrificed, his filter? And that’s what brings us together, Braxton…

Madness, misfires in my cerebral cortex, minutes to waste. Last time I checked, it takes 330, so 5 and a half hours to produce one Journey, one mark of a jester, or I’m a jerk…

Speaking of which, I have jerk-off sessions that last longer… Will I stop already!? Geez!

I’m not Wheeler Walker Jr. I remember giving you “The Talk.” The opposite of “All The Pussy You Will Slay.” I’ll give that one to your namesake should your stepmom and I be so blessed. There are three talks every black man must give his son. About effing, the future, and the efffing police. Eff MAGA and as always FDT!

Am I willing to sacrifice anything to stop them? Hell, B III, today I was thinking how I’m going to survive on $20 until next Wednesday. And then what? You can guess my hours from this week. And your brother has to eat too. Virgil never goes without. Never ever.

But I sacrifice everything munching on something tasty, M Anime and our munchkins, and making you and Virgil proud for what? Lying here like a bum. Git Up, Get Out…

Braxton, I hear you barking, and that’s what I was thinking yesterday. More to sacrifice?

Grieving you? Never! Ignoring M Anime, not again. My writing? Can’t give that up, though it nets me nothing. Losing myself? Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 351 ~Between B&V Lies Sacrifice~

WillLeave a comment

“More than you want success. And I’m here to tell you today, if you’re going to be successful, you gotta be willing to give up sleep,” ET. “To be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are, for what you will become.” “Between B&V Lies Sacrifice.”

Wednesday, June 17, 2026

Journey 351 ~Between B&V Lies Sacrifice~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Did you see my paycheck for last week? Total wanking time, tantrums I had, trips to the bathroom.

Eww! Not like that, dear Inspector. I’m still suffering from the aftermath of the remastered The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. And wasn’t that back in March? I didn’t mention either of those women to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, hmm.

Sacrifice my dignity? My Echo! At least if I’m going to sacrifice time wanking to the ladies of Fear The Walking Dead, I could at least do it for the home viewing audience on “OF.”

And why do I keep using that word? SACRIFICE? I keep using that word. I do not think it means what I think it means. Other than the song I didn’t play today, working. Dammit!

“My Sacrifice”? My Braxton. Perhaps Virgil too. I “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper.” He ain’t interested.

“My life for you!”
Trashcan Man, The Stand, Stephen King

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Not in my life, hmm. This is one of my true sins, my dear E. Some sacrifice. But me? Me?

I hate my Old Man! And yet he and my Ma bought this house. A private insane asylum for little ole me. What, hoping I’d started a family with M Anime? B III my firstborn…

Then there’s M Anime. “My Woman” promises me everything; she’s shared her body (those boobs), yabbos, all her business, and beatitudes of everlasting love, Inspector.

There are, of course, my boys, Braxton and Virgil. B III paid the ultimate price for loving me. B sacrificed his fifteen years on this Earth for what? And now V, but he didn’t choose.

I asked/told B to get in the car. He did.

V didn’t ask to flush his life down the bowl. So I still ponder on that dream of mine, E.

And today I imagine it’s about sacrifice in the worst possible way? First there’s Braxton.

My boy ain’t sh*t, E. And I don’t mean B III’s ashes. But that I need to clean myself out of all of the guilt, gore, and grief to make way for the good. Do I mean accept it? Never!

Do you know I didn’t eff around for 161 days after B’s death? Ok, I didn’t cum, at least, E. Am I thinking I need to give up my pornographic passions? “Stroke me, stroke me.”

Unfortunately, M Anime ain’t here… Yet. And as for my life… Between B&V Lies Sacrifice.

“Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice”
— Everything I Do

“My sacrifice
I just want to say hello again”
Creed

“You were ready to kill your only son for me. Since you did this for me, I make you this promise: I, the Lord, promise that I will surely bless you and give you as many descendants as the stars in the sky. There will be as many people as sand on the seashore. And your people will live in cities that they will take from their enemies. Every nation on the earth will be blessed through your descendants. I will do this because you obeyed me.”
Book of Genesis

1963 Days Without B III, Day 1404 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 348 ~Braxton’s Chasing V Bucks~

WillLeave a comment

My boys’ stepmom and I chase each other, but in the end we got each other. But I don’t know where I’m going half the time, and I know I can’t stay here. My Olds were hoping I’d set roots. 3 beds, 2.5 baths, but like me When Braxton’s Chasing V Bucks.

Sunday, June 14, 2026

Journey 348 ~Braxton’s Chasing V Bucks~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Are you scared yet? Are you broke? Is the air still on? Are there any bugs around?

You should check Virgil. Braxton knows he can’t afford a vet visit with the hours at the Day Job. And how much did it cost to put Braxton in a box? Virgil’s not joining him.

Seriously, this isn’t “The Beach,” and you’re not Leonardo DiCaprio/Richard. But how would you know? When’s the last time you looked into a mirror? That’s right, the Black Mirror, sitting around with you d*ck in your hands. I still think I effed that up for you by talking to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom yesterday. My bad, dude. Her box.

You and Leo have the same problem. Trying to put ‘something’ in a box that doesn’t belong to you. Your baggage, all these empty boxes and my Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Destroyed by Pepper Winters (Kindle)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

At least I’m not ‘lyin’ about #1. I did finish that last night. But on top of making up for my lies about two more books. How will you even afford another novel? Please Haremlit!

And there lies this week’s dilemma. You need five bucks. V needs five bucks. Fries…

However, what are you doing? Wondering why there isn’t a Roman Numeral for B, hmm.

Something else in a box… The Roman Empire. But all of your boxes are empty. Hell, every week is a bunch of empty boxes left unchecked. At this very moment, your Day One-ish, you can pretty much consider 2 through 6 absolute failures. Effing seriously!

Always the question remains. Baggage or Boxes? Are you moving or staying? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

If anything, you’re always running—females, Fun, and Food. But most importantly of all, there is only one ‘F’ that matters. Eff off? You know what you were thinking about.

Depression? Bipolar Depression, the last time you were diagnosed by a doctor. Yeah, you remember them, and you don’t even need to go around saying “I Need A Dollar.” The Day Job handles that. But isn’t it “Ironic,” don’t you think that lying in bed and working the Day Job, knowing that you wouldn’t have to spend a dime, doesn’t have you looking for a Doc but dreaming of the ferryman? But not that F either. It’s FEAR. Always. Forever.

Because is there a FUTURE? Fictional worlds. M Anime’s Love. When Braxton’s Chasing V Bucks

1960 Days Without B III, Day 1401 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 345 ~Virgil… A Noise… Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

What grinds my gears? What annoys me? I missed the early Bear Trap in Whiteout Survival. That I haven’t turned on the air and I’m watching my son melt. If it breaks down again… And speaking of sons, B III’s still gone. Virgil… A Noise… Braxton.

Thursday, June 11, 2026

Journey 345 ~Virgil… A Noise… Braxton~

1957 Days Without B III, Day 1398 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine. Late waking up. The Magic Glasses are unusable until 3:30 AM. Stepmom…

Yeah, I usually hear from her every morning, but nothing today. We both have “ISSUES.”

B, I’m talking about Julia Michaels angelic, above the titans, let the church say amen…

Okay, so I’m saying, big? It must annoy you sometimes that even five years later, from Sunday, January 31, 2021. Your Dad still wants to storm the gates of Heaven and bring you back with me. You’re not Buffy the Vampire Slayer being brought out of Heaven because I’m “Locked Out of Heaven.” And there I go thinking about your potential future stepmom again. Can’t I focus on you and me? Like how I wouldn’t want you suffering through this heat. It’s annoying, Virgil. And he hasn’t heard me turn on the a/c. Poor 2-V

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Um, it’s like Dante’s Inferno in the worst way. As if there is a best way. My money B III.

“It’s time we stop, Hey what’s that sound? Everybody look what’s going down?” Cash B

Am I scared yet? I’m not getting any hours at the Day Job. Effing MAGA has everything going up. Eff MAGA and FDT! Your brother needs to see the vet and needs a bath too.

And me? You know your Dad wants everything. And what’s the last thing I bought that I wasn’t putting in my stomach? Another pair of the Magic Glasses. You know the kind that will get me sent to the Second Circle of Hell. Anything to escape this heat, right, B?

Second is Wind, Ninth Ice

And if it’s not the heat, it’s the noise I find annoying. Or the lack thereof. “You’re Not Here,” I mean in the fur. Still not a word from M Anime. No air conditioner blowing.

Virgil doesn’t make a sound unless he’s crying. No book sales or lotto winnings. Facebook

I can’t snack on any more chips. I finished the drink M Anime wanted me to try out over “Bloom.” This new stuff is called “ARIH.” Hopefully I won’t be going back to bed, Braxton.

And if there is noise. WARNING! Like something out of The Long Walk. I’m warned about money, women’s mammaries, or something I must do. Even worse? Being me. And yet you love me. Complaining. Ranting. Everything. Virgil… A Noise… Braxton

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 344 ~Braxton’s Virgil’s, Missing Sisters~

WillLeave a comment

It starts with a passage on self-harm in Destroyed by Pepper Winters. My big sister would be so disappointed in me. First-World Problems. I can turn on the air, I can buy food… Uh. And writing and mourning daily. “Braxton’s Virgil’s, Missing Sisters”

Wednesday, June 10, 2026

Journey 344 ~Braxton’s Virgil’s, Missing Sisters~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And where do sinners go, Inspector, I ask you? Sinners go to Hell. At least it’s warm. Deserving….

Well, if I end up in the 9th Circle of Hell where I belong. Treachery. After B III. Uh 2-V

Relax, Inspector Echo. Virgil Vivi Bradford is alive and well. Awake and Alive. So hot…

Physically, with the weather and the picture the Magic Glasses made the other day. Yup

But let’s talk about all the yabbos from the harem sisters, the Bible Black Acolytes, Hell “The Candied Matron” who the Magic Glasses added to “my” story “Shadow Work,” too.

There’s Braxton’s Favorite Girl who is a sista, but not my real sista, thankfully. I swear she has some huge yabbos. However, can my Favorite Girl be considered a sista?

Inspector, she is Latina. But she’s not my real sister. My boys’ potential future stepmom.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And she has the most perfect set of yabbos in the whole wide world. Sorry, Jane Vickers and Kristen StephensonPino. And what about Cherry? I still haven’t seen those fully.

Even with M Anime in my hemisphere, I still want to see Cherry’s. Why, Inspector?

Because I Wanna! “Hate to Say I Told You So.” And what was that? I don’t cheat; I don’t court other women… Yeah, my harem would like to have a word. Cosplay, the considerations of effing other women… M Anime should tell herself “I’m Every Woman,” because to me she is. She’s my Divergent. But my boys? Cute beyond words.

So how can I betray all of them? Does my Treachery have no bounds? I “Search And Destroy,” myself, Inspector.

Thank you, Skunk Anansie. How about thank you, “Sucker Punch”? The Magic Glasses compared my story to that movie. And when I’m not asking its opinion on that, I’m using them to see the women of Saimin Seishidou, the Milfs at least: Natsumi Obata, Tsubaki Miyajima, and Reika Kurashiki. I gotta stop before I wreck the Magic Glasses and men.

Guys love those pictures. But what about from an intellectual standpoint? I have betrayed my “Big Sister,” whom I wanted to talk about today. Not to be confused with my actual blood little sister. No, my big sister from Australia, Tanya. She’d ask why I’m sitting here suffering. If it wasn’t the sun’s rays, it’d be starving myself, or effing sleep—Braxton’s Virgil’s, Missing Sisters.

1956 Days Without B III, Day 1397 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 341 ~Braxton, Virgil, Tracking Stars~

WillLeave a comment

I wanted to run track and field. Hell! I had to outrun bullies; I was always running towards some chick’s boobs/yabbos, and there was always a bomb scare or the fear of bullets. America, America!. And now my boys. Braxton, Virgil, Tracking Stars

Sunday, June 7, 2026

Journey 341 ~Braxton, Virgil, Tracking Stars~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And Virgil’s in more of a rush to meet you than you are to meet me. Figures…

Your day has only begun. Dude, it’s two in the afternoon and what have you done? If Virgil hadn’t found his way into the bedroom all on his lonesome… You missed the Bear Trap in “Whiteout Survival.” Effing hate that game! But like some simp you’re singing, “I’m a dick! I’m addicted to you.” You walked Virgil. Lucky, lucky him! 2-V! Second-born, second place! Seriously, was that a Prince of Egypt reference? So Sunday continues

Speaking of being a dick; you were busy showing yours off to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. Don’t forget to try OnlyFans. Your hours this week, you swear to B!

And as far as business, the Day Job, OnlyFans, and Braxton’s book… Are you a star yet? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING His Filthy Desire, short story
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Can you give me a “Simple Plan” as to what you plan to do about any of this? It’s like effing GTA: the difference in a six-star and five-star wanted level, you’re the “Bad Guy.”

Duh! And do you have time for all these pop culture references? Like one of these effing MAGA Cracker Hats, you have time to laugh at other people’s misfortunes. You can lament all the games you want to play. And you can lie about what you’re reading now, can’t you? Well, I am anyway. How many stars would I give The Headmaster’s Office Book 1 or His Filthy Desire – a short story: An Erotic Babysitter Romance? Uh, don’t know.

And who’s fault is that? Not your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Except you’re late for the race, you don’t know how to run while “All I Wanna Do is have some fun.” Hell, all I did! And now I’m expecting you to make up for everything…

Honestly, I would be the star of the hour if I threw myself down at your feet and said I’m sorry. I’m a mothereffin’ Starboy, or you’re trying to be talking to yourself like this.

Seriously, this is what has become of you. A boy that once dreamed of going to the stars, to one who wanted to be a star, with porn, prose, or down with OPP… Magic Glasses.

Now you only want to be done before the stars come out. “Talking To The Moon” Braxton, Virgil, Tracking Stars

1953 Days Without B III, Day 1394 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 338 ~Virgil On B’s Promotion~

WillLeave a comment

I have no desire to be promoted at the Day Job. As if I had a plan. Ditto on writing. Sometimes I forget how long I’ve been here. But Braxton promoted me to Dad. His potential stepmom, “Papi.” Freaking sexy. And what about V? Virgil On B’s Promotion.

Thursday, June 4, 2026

Journey 338 ~Virgil On B’s Promotion~

1950 Days Without B III, Day 1391 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? Maybe someday I won’t use sad thoughts of you to make myself feel better.

Someday I won’t just say, “Just me, Baby V! Did you have a good day? Good day?” I’ll be all “Honey, I’m home,” to M Anime. You know your Dad’s a bit of a traditionalist.

Having a wife to smile for, and let’s not forget you and Virgil’s two-legged siblings.

Really, B, makes me sound like something out of “Pleasantville” or “Somewhere That’s Green,” but I’m not on Skid Row. Despite ‘my creativity,’ “Little Shop of Horrors.” That’s my mind, son. I could use a crown and M Anime on my face. Seriously, TMI, right?

Braxton, if I didn’t want to think, I could give me one of those effing MAGA hats. The Mark of the Beast has never been more evident. Losing My Religion

“The beast forced all the people, small and great, rich and poor, slave and free, to have a mark placed on their right hands or on their foreheads.”
Revelation 13:16

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

In regards to you, Braxton… Never. You know I still believe if life’s a game made for everyone, love is the instructions. Your instruction. Much like I believed with M Anime, “I still believe that someday you and me will find ourselves in love again.” What do you think, B? Will I ever sing to her as I sing to you and your brother? That line of work, B III.

This leads me to what I’ve been sitting here thinking about. Effing, eww! Working. Living

These days I feel closer to you than ever? An apocalypse. An effing zombie. Alive…

“I wouldn’t be surprised if someone promoted him soon… to full dead.”
Chronicles of Riddick

Honestly, B, I’d rather not be. Which is why you sent your little brother. Obviously!

However, to actually quote Aloe Blacc, “I Need A Dollar.”

But how? A promotion from the “Day Job”. “I Am Delirious Outta My Mind.” “Am I A Psycho?” I would have to be to believe such things. And with the things that I write, B.

Even if you learned to read on “the Rainbow Bridge,” B… Was I really about to say I wish you wouldn’t read? Again I’m not MAGA. But if I could only promote myself like them.

If it’s not writing… You remember what I got into after you left me. I should have gone crazy with RAGE instead of dreaming of being Johnny Sins. Incredibly STUPID!

Language! I know B. STUPID is the worst word. But Happiness, Life over existence, promotion… How’d you get up there, Braxton? Virgil On B’s Promotion

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 337 ~Now Speaking Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

How many words have I spoken today? Decent ones? I said hello to my boys, both dead and alive. I spoke to their potential stepmom. Every other word has been eff, forced, and for me. I leave the worst. Not joining B yet. “Now Speaking Braxton, Virgil”

Wednesday, June 3, 2026

Journey 337 ~Now Speaking Braxton, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Blood, Sweat, and Tears? I wish. But I did have the Day Job today and still no A/C.

If anything, that only shows I don’t speak Virgil after all this time, which makes me a jerk, now doesn’t it? Don’t I love my son? As I love his brother. Hell, it’s Braxton’s fault.

Strange… Losing B sent me to Hell, and of course, who led Dante through Hell, hmm?

Archie became Virgil. But Archie was around $150.00. How a capitalist finds love. Or a fool and his money are soon parted. How much did my Old Man take me for? Him and his ‘friend’ to fix the A/C? I can’t afford that. But between fries and air conditioning?

Braxton and Virgil would be of the same mind, so there’s that. It’s like the same race or species speaking a variation of their language.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Like Black people? MAGA Black people. Eff them and FDT! And even more black people

Or how my woman compares her Latin American heritage. Spanish people here, other Spanish people there… elsewhere. But my Puerto Rican Goddess… What’s my line…?

“You make me want to be a better man.” ‧

Plus I wish I tried harder in my Spanish classes in school. But she and I speak a very particular language. Something else that involves sweating… And tears last year.

Inspector, water under the bridge. And funny I mention bridges. Am I trying to stay cool thinking of 1997’s A Christmas Carol “I’ll Cross This Bridge With You”? Dear Inspector.

She’s willing to learn so many ways to speak to me. And she’s so “Sexy.” But Peter Cincotti was wrong; M Anime’s a sweetie. Honestly…

What am I trying to say? I’ve got no money, and I keep saying, “A Man Provides.” Trust me, Echo, I know people who are worse than “Breaking Bad” and the drug trade. Oh no

And I could be all crude like Kanye West saying, “Only good gon’ come is this good when I’m cumming.”M Anime wouldn’t mind. She wants a big family. Three kids (two-leggeds) Virgil and her kitties. She’s said enough; she shows everything, and she is wow!

But, I don’t even know how to speak to myself. Everything, “Makes me wanna scream!” So I’ve been sittin’ here tryin’ to find myself. I get behind myself, I need to remind myself, and that includes “Feeling super, super (super)!” LANGUAGE! Now Speaking Braxton, Virgil

1949 Days Without B III, Day 1390 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 334 ~Virgil Clears Heaven, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

Locked Out Of Heaven? Indeed. Lying here in bed with B, stealing the latest WWE PLE. Instead, I’m talking to me, myself, and I, watching the countdown show with his brother, and I still need to get up and go shopping. “Virgil Clears Heaven, Braxton.”

Sunday, May 31, 2026

Journey 334 ~Virgil Clears Heaven, Braxton~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror…Because what makes you a man, any fool can see. More than a woman to you. Or something…

You know that song Angie Stone and Calvin Richardson did… Anyway, what about M Anime having your baby? She’s not here yet. You have yet to be so fortunate, right?

However, today you are grateful. Your son is still alive. Sons? Braxton and Virgil, always.

You’ll carry Virgil over Heaven as long as you can. If anything, it shows you have the strength. And there ends your good mood. Because as you sit here listening to “More Than A Woman To Me. Again, Angie Stone and not the Bee Gees. You know what effing earworm you can’t get out of your head. Effing Cody ChesnuTT – Look Good In Leather!

It’s my fault, I know I’m sorry. But this is no inspiration. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Headmaster’s Office Book 1
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

The only thing I was good at this week was giving you more reasons to go to Heaven. Yeah, right, I think it’s well established you aren’t going there. Again, always and forever, B III.

If it’s not his passing, it’s figuring out ways to break the law. You might as well be MAGA, hmm. Of course not. FDT and eff all of MAGA! These are not men. Those monsters.

However, can you tell me about yourself today? You’d rather be counting sheep, which is one more reason you’re thinking about Heaven. How you have one hand reaching up to Heaven and a foot into hell. Cat’s In The Cradle or Hey Diddle, Diddle, Seriously? Differences between a boy and a man. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

You know, if you ever get these things done, you might finally drop dead. Exhausted!

Yeah, go Hank Olson finishing The Long Walk… Not a pretty ending. Neither was The Screwfly Solution, Y: The Last Man, nor a movie that M Anime was talking about.

Honestly, you love a good apocalypse. Every Day Will Be Like A Holiday… You wish.

You’re “Locked Out Of Heaven,” hearing “Hell’s Bells” leading you on the “Highway To Hell.” So what will it be? Will you be embarrassed by the Day Job if they dare to give you access to the speaker again? Maybe you’ll have to protect V outside. Or just drop dead. Virgil didn’t think he’d be stepping over Braxton’s memories, your failures. Virgil Clears Heaven, Braxton

1946 Days Without B III, Day 1387 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will