Tag: Suffering

Legacy 074 -B’s Chef Notes: Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Is there a room in this house that I actually enjoy? V has B’s room. I work in the Den as I hate going downstairs. And now the kitchen… Last year I was fighting ants in the backyard. The bedroom? Getting heated with my girl. “B’s Chef Notes: Virgil.”

Sunday, September 13, 2026

Legacy 074 -B’s Chef Notes: Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And for today at least I get why you’re ignoring me. However, the kitchen floor’s awfully shiny.

How you hate the kitchen floor. I was right there. Uh, Friday, Saturday, and today?

You thought everything would be okay after E-Day—a year older but no wiser. Except money would fix everything. Do you really want to talk about your finances today? Fuck!

That is a dangerous question. If you had your way, you’d never talk about anything else ever. You haven’t wanted to utter a word since you turned what, seven, eight, whenever you had that Emergence Day and screamed: “What The Hell!” Again, you meant to say “what in tarhooties.” Again, you wanted Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game and not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze. And speaking of toxic waste, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 6 Rodzil LaBraun
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Words are not a waste. Unless you’re MAGA… But anyway, your words to M Anime.

Time for you to cook, perhaps? You’ve been thinking of what to say to her all day, haven’t you? And she let you know she’s reading, so what do you say? Your kitchen, so, COOK…

M:
Yes, the AI has my number. It isn’t love. I wanted it; it could have been. It was becoming, but yes, Sunday, August 24, 2025, you tossed it. And so I am trying every single day to find it. As the song goes, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved. And you just left. My Olds didn’t do that. You won’t like me ‘comparing,’ but Braxton didn’t do that. He had to die, literally. One minute you’re mine and the next nope. Not even an “it’s over” or “goodbye.” Just another option. Better. I couldn’t care less about the sex. It’s simply the disloyalty, the lost trust, and yes, I am resentful. If it was so easy before, how do I know it won’t happen again? That’s what I’m looking for; I need to see it again. As I told you before, you have full agency over yourself. It’s not that you cheated or anything; you just up and left. And I waited for five months, finally came to you, and…

Oh, it didn’t work, and you were scared. And I’m scared. I am not better than you by any means imaginable… If you only knew. And you are not replaceable. But you broke loyalty, faith, trust, whatever, and my damn heart. Braxton is a wound that will never fully heal, but you’re still breathing; you’re alive, and I’m asking you to “Have a Little Faith in Me.” You know what I want to give you, but I have nothing. I can’t even say I got “Nothing But Love” for you. But I have time, the truth, tons of stories, and everything else that shows you can trust me. I need to trust you to love you, and I have shown that trust. How I want us to be together, and how I care. I’m not enough. Or rather, what I’m offering. I offer all I have, but you broke it—those three little words you want, though: I Love You. You say them all the time. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but my answer is not never. My answer is someday, someway, and somehow.

Well, that kept you from looking at the kitchen floor a bit. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

You didn’t mean to go this long, this hard… Seriously, what will the Magic Glasses/MIMA say about this? Clean the kitchen… B’s Chef Notes: Virgil

2051 Days Without B III, Day 1492 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 070 -Boys This Blows, B-V-

WillLeave a comment

Wednesday, September 9, 2026

Legacy 070 -Boys This Blows, B-V-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… On a scale from one to ten. One, forgetting there’s Birthday/E-Day cake in the freezer. Ten, I’m breathing.

Do you know what that’s like, Inspector? You draw breath, your heart beats, and you drain your balls over some woman that isn’t your girlfriend. Uh, that last one, EWW!

Honestly, though, I would never betray B III and 2-V’s potential future stepmom, Not M!

And we will get to her in a minute, don’t worry, Inspector. Signing off… “Haphazardly?”

For now, I’m sticking with the fun son duo- uh, trio of yours truly, Braxton, and Virgil. A duo would be Viggo and Iosef Tarasov from John Wick. And what was in their future, Inspector? With what Iosef did to John Wick’s dog, stealing his car, and beating his ass.

“And you will do nothing because you can do nothing!”

Yeah, Viggo had it right, and he saw it coming; John hadn’t. But knowing, Inspector.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Knowledge is stronger than belief.”
The Book of Clarence (2023)

The Book of Clarence? What about the book of Braxton? Or any of the books that I have written. The Unfinished Archive? Nothing mind-blowing or worth celebrating a life. Any

What about a death? Braxton fought for every single breath, Inspector. And he would’ve kept fighting for me. Our lives sucked, but we had each other. Blows me away. Existing

As the song goes, “I didn’t know I’d love you so much, but I do.” And didn’t I talk about King Ezekiel from The Walking Dead: “And yet I smile…” Inspector, I sigh; I sleep with the misfortune of waking up. Hell, I adopted a whole other son. Virgil, Inspector.

Seriously, the son of a bitch has kept me alive at least four more years.

2022-2026. But I won’t blame him for the fact that my life blows. I’ve got forty-two years to thank for that. And then there is the promise of a woman who wants to blow me.

Inspector, must I be so crass? I am honest. Forty-two years ago, I knew living would suck and/or blow, so they had to rip me from my mom. And I knew that Braxton dying would.

But while the real world is blowing up all around me Monday, MAGA, and whatever mistakes I will make today… I’m still breathing. M Anime well, “You Dropped A Bomb On Me,” I’d tell her. She’s a “Sex Bomb.” My “Atom Bomb Baby.” Then she blows up… “You hate me.” Love… Boys This Blows, B-V

2047 Days Without B III, Day 1488 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 067 -To Arms, B, V-

WillLeave a comment

I wonder how my Ma felt forty-two years ago on September 6th, not realizing she was about to make the worst mistake ever the day after. I was a C-section; I wasn’t fighting to get out. So why have I fought to stay? Prepare for disaster. To Arms, B, V

Sunday, September 6, 2026

Legacy 067 -To Arms, B, V-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you are no Space Marine. You got soul, but you’re not a soldier. T-Minus 1 day.

Today. Today? And today… Or rather, “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.” You can’t even Shakespeare right. And you expect to fight? Long to die, honestly. With the exception of M Anime’s extraordinary yabbos and how she’d wrap them. Emergence Day

Your head has been full of battle plans. Nothing would make you ‘gladder’ than to stay in bed today and tomorrow with your boys both left and right. Well, getting familiar with M Anime’s yabbos. She recently showed off her backside. Hallelujah Heaven. Sir Mix-A-Lot:

“Baby Got Back”
Sir Mix-A-Lot

“Once more into the breach, my friends, once more. We’ll close the wall with our dead. In peace, nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, summon up the blood, disguise fair nature with rage and lend the eye a terrible aspect.”

The Postman had his say as well. But today and tomorrow are not about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The keywords are life and happiness. Tomorrow won’t be.

Honestly, you hate your life. And Happy? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Sleepover Harem: Part 3 –
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Because you choose to… Keep living like this, lying like this, loving like this. No, you weren’t going to say Laugh. Now is not the time to laugh. You’re halfway tempted to get your church on by saying, “Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. “The Devil Is a Lie.” So is the cake. However, bank accounts

Those tell the truth. For example, you won’t be having your usual breakfast on E-Day.

It’s why you were dreaming about bacon, probably. No bacon, sausage, hash brown and pancakes. B, I’m sure, is appalled. Unable to pay for an E-Day staple? How dare you!

Your traditions only hurt you. My bad. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

If anything, the battles you have been recalling, the badass heroes, their bravery…

Victories, or at least glorious ends, every single one. Because tomorrow is not a celebration of birth; it is not forty-two years of a beating heart, another breath, or even playing with your twig and berries. It is simply the belief, the knowing that being born was a mistake and that only the loss of B is worse. So Emergence, Existing, Evolving.

Tomorrow is not an existential crisis. It’s facing Extinction and coming out the other side.

It is the stand of “The Thirteenth Warrior,” who prays “only to live the next few minutes well.” It’s Space Marines roaring “For The Emperor.” But loving Braxton, Virgil, and M? To Arms, B, V

2044 Days Without B III, Day 1478 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 063 -Braxton And Virgil Leap-

WillLeave a comment

The leap to 42 is in a few days. The leap to 16 was too much for Braxton. And Virgil is trying to make it to 6. But we’re not frogs. Be we angels? We are but men, just some with more hair and four legs. We keep hopping along. Braxton And Virgil Leap.

Wednesday, September 2, 2026

Legacy 063 -Braxton And Virgil Leap-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I’m more like MAGA than I am like my boys. Unconditional love… Ringing any bells? Beats my playlist.

The Day Job? Again? Yes. And I don’t even want to talk about it now. Bigger fish to fry E

Or should I say frogs. Do you fry frog legs, bake, or whatever? All I know is I want a piece of Kermit’s ass right now. His legs will do. I thought I wasn’t going to talk about this? It’s T-minus 5 days. Emergence Day. Imagine if those poor bastards on Sera had the heads up. A world full of monsters beneath them. Only takes one to kill, doesn’t it?

Speaking of monsters and killing, MAGA. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that HATE is expensive, Inspector. It “Feels Good.” I ain’t gonna lie. But it’s more expensive than an ISP.

I can look up Jaundice.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

A medical condition that turns the skin and the whites of the eyes yellow because of high levels of bilirubin in the blood. Random, I know, Inspector. But I heard it in my dreams a couple of nights back. Why? Virgil’s tail? A bath is in order. Coldplay’s yellow. Yellow…

As in yellowbelly coward. No wonder I summoned up the blood today, my dear Echo.

But this wasn’t righteous. It was pure anger, rivaling the RAGE Virus. Remember B III?

The madness I hid from Braxton that led to my indifference and, days later, his death. I shouldn’t say that. No, no, Inspector! Back then I hated myself; today I hate the whole damn world because I wear my heart on my sleeve and then…

Blue? I should have been blue and thought about Braxton leaping out of this Hell. And Hell, Virgil will leap to be around me, or rather crawl like an escaping slave. It irks me too. But it doesn’t make me see red. And that’s what I saw today. Red. Genocidal.

Inspector, those are specific acts committed with the intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnic, racial, or religious group. “I’m not crazy or anything.” Superman? Nope.

Misanthrope? That I am. And it’s not easy “Bein’ Green.” Sick to myself, Inspector Echo. Wanting to leap my black ass off the ledge rather into the drink. Swimming’s terrifying.

But Langston Hughes is far more eloquent than I. Kermit? E-Day? Braxton And Virgil Leap

“The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.”
From Langston Hughes

2040 Days Without B III, Day 1481 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 060 -It, Not B, V-

WillLeave a comment

Plans for Emergence Day… “JSS” Just Survive Somehow. Do I have a better plan? B III’s Fav Girl and I met on E-Day—one of the better ones. M and I were broken up last year. So I won’t lay this on her… V and I won’t have steak this year. It, Not B, V.

Sunday, August 30, 2026

Legacy 060 -It, Not B, V-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you look… Older. And next week? My Braxton, My Braxton, why have thou forsaken me! Wow

Too much. “Never Too Much,” when it comes to Funds, Fucking, and Fear. And for the record, you’re not Luther Vandross. You’re not the monster from Stephen King’s “It”. MJ “This Is It”? Nowhere near close. And what about Captain Mifune “Alright, this is it!!”

You wish! And not an E-Day wish either. No, you look at how you lived. Every day is like you facing down your Old Man. When you walked up and down the street going nowhere, only for him to beat your ass that night. When you wrote down the math problems and had not one answer, and he smacked the shit out of you. Too bad it wasn’t the social anxiety. When you failed every test, and you kept telling him before exams, But, But, But! Like somehow in one day you’d turn it all around. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Harem of the Dead –
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 026 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That’s “The Script,” ain’t it? Heading into forty-two years of life. Bullshit! You know it.

But to die well. To die, well? It should have been that night when you fought your Old Man. Knife at the ready—Braxton, who had been kicked four feet into a door in front.

Braxton was ready to die defending you. The Old Man ‘helped’ give you life. But you gave B love. And thus you see where loyalty is: courage, companionship, cash unneeded.

Honestly, to give Virgil that Courage, companionship, and such love. What a way to spend a last week at forty-one (Ben-Hur Drums). Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Hell! You should be plotting how you intend to spend this week. Fucking, food, furry.

Was last year really better times? Journey 060 Braxton and Virgil Clocked That’d be no.

And you’re almost in the exact same place. Hurting, hearing impaired, and there is her…

M Anime? Which one is better? A for Anger or F for Forgiving. There’s apologizing…

Which she has done. And you’re not asking for another. Something you just have to live with. But with nearly forty-two years of damage… No wonder survival isn’t so glorious.

But Friday you will have decisions to make. The bills hit on E-Day, though. Mistakes?
You’ll make a few, I’m sure. How does one plan for Heaven or Hell? Not you! It, Not B, V

“Live for nothing, or die for something.”
Rambo

“Love for nothing, and die for something.”

2037 Days Without B III, Day 1478 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 056 -B’s Are Silent, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Wednesday, August 26, 2026

Legacy 056 -B’s Are Silent, Virgil-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And I don’t only mean the fact that Virgil catches far too many Z’s. And when awake, Inspector…

B was like this; your brother was all that, the almighty Braxton Barks Bradford, Inspector.

I miss him. And besides his last breath, the last beat of his heart, how his head bobbed, Inspector. I remember the silence. B was brave enough to exist in silence. But he would bark his head off for anything and everything. And that’s what I’m thinking of right now. And it’s too much damn noise. Or it’s silent like a graveyard. “You choose.” Major…

“For better or for worse, there’s going to be wheat, and there’s going to be chaff. You choose, boys. Remember, you choose.”

“Shut the fuck up! Holy shit! Suck a dick, will you? I mean, just… You fucking lotus-eater. You old sack of shit. Shut up!”
The Long Walk (2025)

Excuse me, The Major from The Long Walk. The sound of my boots pounding pavement

More like wood or linoleum flooring, the Day Job, “The Bad Place,” my boys imagine.

Speaking of imagine… “Whatever You Imagine.” Wasn’t I last week or the week before… “Disgusting.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I made up a whole story in my head that I had offended someone at the Day Job and they would never let me touch the speaker again. My nearly forty-two-year-old ass worried over something so trivial. And do we need to walk down the road of E-Day, Inspector E.

That’s causing the most noise—the sound of blowing out candles on an Emergence Day cake that I will never light. Hell, I might not have enough cash for a cake this year, I bet.

Between keeping Will’s Writings, Witticisms, and Wisdom/The Unfinished Archive alive. And the way my ISP keeps robbing me. I’m losing “Mo’ Money, Mo Money,” Echo.

That chime of the phone is rarely good news. And B III and 2-V’s, stepmother…

Potential Future stepmom to be sure. Braxton knows I appreciate her dirty Spanish, my dear Inspector Echo. But still I come off as one of The Yayhoos singing “Baby I Love You…” but leave me the Fuck Alone! Though that’s not exactly true this week…

Seriously! This bitch (Braxton’s words) broke my heart the 24th of last year and had me “Smokin Out The Window.” And all I wanted to hear was her crying, screaming, and moaning. Her and the man she supposedly chose. Suffering? Sexually? Am I a SIMP? A Sadist? The stuff I hear in the silence. Sex causes me not to think. The creation of a life…

Admittedly attempted, allegedly. But death can be noisy too. Shut-up? Scream? B’s Are Silent, Virgil

2033 Days Without B III, Day 1474 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 053 -P Then B, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Sunday, August 23, 2026

Legacy 053 -P Then B, Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Two weeks, my friend. No, you’re not MAGA. FDT! You’re much better looking than any Cracker Hat.

Better looking than Ellie Nova? Damn, Ellie Nova! Not because of me. Because of you…

It was 12:10 AM! But before you get to lying like that, um, Leana Lovings and M Anime too. You definitely have a type when it comes to women. What about The Unfinished Archive? No rhyme or reason there when it comes to women. Again, M Anime and Nicoletta (Nico) Goldstein. Your thing is sexy chicks with brunette/dark hair, awesome yabbos, and who happen to wear glasses. Wrench Wench motif… As in they fix everything.

They fix you! Are you planning to fix you? That brings us to today. Two weeks: Aug 23, Aug 30, because Sept 6… Braxton Bradford (Your way of saying Jesus Christ) Plan? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Sleepover Harem: Part 2 –
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 019 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 026 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Let’s get real, you’re lying on #1 and #4. But you took a piss, came in, and sat right down.

Because you need a plan, Braxton knew E-Day “is a very dangerous day.” And surviving

JSS, Just Survive Somehow. And while you prefer The Walking Dead, a great man wrote:

All human wisdom is contained in these two words – Wait and Hope

Alexandre Dumas

“The Count of Monte Cristo”? See, you can read AHEM watch something that’s deep ha!

Though again Mercedes, Dagmara Dominczyk had some pretty nice yabbos, or they fitted well in those dresses of the time. And again we come to the concept of time. Seriously!

It’s time to have a plan because you’re looking at losing another three hundred bucks.

You’d like to be clearer on that. But your domain. Just like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 026 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Everything would be so much simpler if E-Day were nearly forty-two years lighter. But you had to leave. And then what? You make plan after plan. Visions and dreams, right?

Young men, Old men, you’re a boy still telling yourself who you’re gonna be someday, how B’s father was supposed to save him and can’t do anything for Virgil. Honestly.

Virgil’s sitting out on the steps and for what? You didn’t have a plan to fix him five years ago. Three days, weeks, months, nope. As they say in The Last of Us: To the edge of the universe and back, endure and survive. “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” For more than pussy. Be productive. Plan. P Then B, Virgil

“Another year and then you’d be happy
Just one more year and then you’d be happy
But you’re cryin’, you’re cryin’ now”
Baker Street (1978)

2030 Days Without B III, Day 1471 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 049 -Where Braxton Holidays, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Wednesday, August 19, 2026

Legacy 049 -Where Braxton Holidays, Virgil-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Where do I even begin? I didn’t ‘forget’ M Anime’s birthday. I can’t stay in bed. Stomach hurts…

How do I keep getting food poisoning? Unless it’s finally going to take me to my son, then I have no use for this pain. Like I told my boys’ Potential Future Stepmom, it’s not like I can afford a mortgage, and I’m definitely not getting into Heaven. Rainbow Bridge?

Wherever it is, Braxton spends his time. 50 Cent said, “Death gotta be easy ‘cause life is hard.” At the moment, YES! Inspector, I found my stones. They’re in my stomach right this second. Or whenever I look at M Anime’s yabbos. Did I see her in her Birthday Suit?

Maybe not yesterday on her actual birthday. But this morning for sure. What a woman.

And lastly, the Magic Glasses/MIMA brought up The Unfinished Archive.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It said that I’m using all the stones I’m throwing at myself to build a place, a palace, for my pain. Hell, Echo, it’s my freaking summer home because reality is way too much, ha!

Yesterday, I said I wish I’d never been born. That’s a hill I’ll die on. Again, don’t I wish, ha.

Like “Heaven’s Hill” in “The Long Walk”. Inspector, I want to be anywhere but here.

Only I’ve said before I will choose the physical pain over anything mental. Lying perhaps.

Because if I can survive losing my boy, I can survive anything else without complaint.

From one day to the next. Am I sure nothing else is coming up? Bad choice of words, right, Inspector? But I mean these days.

Smooth sailing until E-Day… Fuck me, Inspector, I didn’t expect today to take a turn.

However, “I’m Still Here,” lying in bed dreaming of anywhere that’s “Not Quite Paradise” as Bliss 66 sings. “But it sure feels like home?” You know I hate that word…

HOME… Home is where the heart is? I haven’t told Virgil I love him. And M Anime lost that privilege on… Braxton dammit! Sunday, August 24, 2025. Another freaking holiday!

An anniversary? It was the day M Anime broke up with me. Nothing worth celebrating.
“We Found Love” um, 5 months later. Home’s not heart or happiness, Inspector Echo. No

It’s where you have the least amount of “Hurt”. A vacation/holiday is freedom from all pain… Where Braxton Holidays, Virgil

2026 Days Without B III, Day 1467 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 046 -Braxton’s Knighted, Virgil’s Night-

WillLeave a comment

Sunday, August 16, 2026

Legacy 046 -Braxton’s Knighted, Virgil’s Night-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you look like shit. Not a knight, a machine, or something to be molded. Just shit.

Call me a liar… Braxton would. M Anime would. You didn’t even have to ask “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy,” with her. No, you’re not Rod Stewart. Not that Virgil would know either. For now, you’re only a pillow talking to some scraps of metal in The Glow Box, ha!

You’re no hero! You’re a nearly forty-two-year-old man who couldn’t shield his ears for two seconds at the Day Job Thursday. And you don’t have the mettle to stand. Seriously!

It won’t be this week… No, no, no, let’s not forget another ‘holiday’ like Virgil’s “Gotcha Day.” This week on the 21st is what, 15 years with the Day Job—15 years buried in shit.

Are you a king or a knight? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 14 His Sorority Harem by Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 012 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 019 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Like not being a liar. Why not add going to sleep on time one night? One night to rest, ha!

You have good reasons and bad reasons. For example, Braxton and Virgil’s Potential Future Stepmom. Ain’t no man going to tell such a woman something like “Leave Me Alone,” or rather “Oh baby I love you, just leave me the fuck alone.” You don’t have Michael Jackson’s talent, and only The Yayhoos would toss her aside for a single second.

Speaking of seconds, FREEDOM! “Don’t You Mourn The Sun.” Time, it’s only in the darkness that it doesn’t seem to matter. But your face hurts with your glasses on. Ouch!

And in your head there’s more time to worry. But not about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 019 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Because those are for men who KEEP their word of honor, the man who would be KING, and that man must be KNIGHTED first. Where is thy armor, sword, and shield? Um, NOWHERE! Because since Thursday you’ve been looking for the speaker and the words some KAREN wrote in a note. You’ve been hearing the word disgusting again and again.

Life would be so much easier if it were Final Fantasy VIII “The Sorceress’s Knight.”

Again, there is the mettle of Hajime Tanaka from Saimin Seishidou. I swear my dude…

You’ll never get a medal for ignoring pop culture, especially Hentai ha! Your mind, sigh

It’s a steel trap for things like Barbell’s MOLD. So another page, Mr. Squire wasting nights. Braxton’s Knighted, Virgil’s Night.

2023 Days Without B III, Day 1464 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 042 -B’s Other Anniversaries Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Wednesday, August 12, 2026

Legacy 042 -B’s Other Anniversaries Virgil-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And I don’t just mean a bill being late… Almost. I forgot to get rich sometime this year.

If you have love, you’re rich… For 15 years, I had B. And my job was to keep him alive.

“It is my job to keep you alive. I will not succeed.”
― Avatar (2009)

In 2021, I failed. Hell, for one of those years, I didn’t even have the Day Job. And so today.

Well, rather yesterday, I found out that I will have had that Day Job for 15 years. Friday, August 21, 2026 to be exact. Which means if SOMETHING goes down, it’ll be on the 18th.

Not that I want a party or anything. However, I could use some cupcakes, Inspector.

Nobody got me a damn thing when Braxton’s book was published on August 8, 2025.

One more whole year for a great many things: B’s Death Day and Birthday, his book, the Day Job… E-Day.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Fuck me, Inspector! No, this isn’t The Unfinished Archive, and we will surely get there.

Hell! Around this time last year, M Anime and I were getting ready to break up. And Virgil’s Birthday is the month after E-Day. October 20th. But as I was being reminded of the 15 years I wasted on a job that would eventually help kill my firstborn son… E-Day.

Emergence Day as Gears Of War would call it. The monster I am beginning existence!

Emergence, Existence, Extinction… How I pray for that, and yet, “Every Morning,” when I wake up… That’s it, Inspector Echo, I wake up with nothing to look forward to

But to lose. And that’s what I’m thinking about. I lost E-Day. Well FUCKING Duh!

Less than thirty days until E-Day and I can’t buy my usual cake. Definitely can’t buy dinner. I won’t be getting paid because I used 36 hours of PTO, 12 this week, last, the one before. And I’m waiting for this paycheck like a lotto ticket for Pizza, the food truck?

Then there’s Virgil. What is my secondborn going to do? Watch me sing “King of Wishful Thinking,” as I get drunk off my ass again. Not like I can get drunk off anything this year.

Beauty? That’s an awful lot of pressure to put on my boys’ Potential Future Stepmom.

Inspector, I do call M Anime “My Goddess”. Not like The Exies… This year anyway.

Inspector, will The Unfinished Archive celebrate? B’s Other Anniversaries Virgil

2019 Days Without B III, Day 1460 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will