Tag: Evolve

Meditation 342 ~Being A B-Student, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

It’s only a little wire… I’m no tech guy. It’s only a little streak. What? My gaming streak. The 1000+ days I’ve read. My writing. It’s only a little hard. With B and V’s stepmom, I have an Enormous P… But I’m failing. Being A B-Student, Virgil.

Sunday, June 8, 2025

Meditation 342 ~Being A B-Student, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And what would you grade yourself this morning? Are you striving for a B? Asking for F’s.

Fido, Effing, Failure. Man, you got plenty. And I know you wish you could stick to the effing. What? The friction in your hand? Not at all. You have plenty of lube. And also, Ew!

Your hands could be of use elsewhere… (Laughs hysterically). I know that’s pretty funny, friend. And speaking of friends, where’s your best one. Braxton’s in a box, a bunch of ash in a pendant, and hopefully barking up a storm in Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge.

Wherever and whatever. I don’t blame B for the Heavens ripping. I blame myself. I told Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, that I wanted to be a veterinarian.

But I also wanted to be a virologist or an astronaut. There’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Long Walk By Stephen King, Written As Richard Bachman
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 024 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Not that I’m blaming them. But I know you will come this time next week. And since B’s gone, and his little brother Virgil is as strange as the poet. What about all the effing?

That’s one “F” you know far too well. Even as you ask the question like Norah Jones, Don’t Know Why,” I didn’t come. And you think, “I Touch Myself.” The Divinyls, really, bro? But Dear M is that type of woman. You can say the freaky deaky stuff. Filthy words.

And that’s what had you feeling anything but blame today. Blame for what? Yesterday, I was sitting here wanting to watch WWE Money In The Bank. What’s wrong with that?

Beats you. Worry about your O-Face? And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 17, Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 024, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like fixing said O-Face? I can’t send that video to M Anime. You’re fine, attractive… Somehow, she wants you, but let’s just say Virgil isn’t the only one with a few teeth problems. Having the funds would help both of you. But you’re failing Virgil.

That’s what worries you. Hell, everything has been worrying you since Friday. Don’t look at me. Uh, that’s the whole point of being here. But again, Friday, I was sitting here all fine and dandy, and life said I needed a shot of FEAR. And after that, yesterday nature’s FURY.

Effing ISP! Effing storm! So many effing streaks lost. If you’d been a better student, you’d say I think I like this “Little Life.” That’s Braxton. Being A B-Student, Virgil

1589 Days Without B III, Day 1030 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 335 ~Virgil, Thirst Can B…~

WillLeave a comment

We all miss a bit of common sense. If someone is thirsty, you give them a cup of water. If Virgil is thirsty, he can walk right down the hall to the water bowl. If I want to be successful, I could go downstairs and write. “Virgil, Thirst Can B…”

Sunday, June 1, 2025

Meditation 335 ~Virgil, Thirst Can B…~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… How’s the first looking. You would be better off asking Braxton, M Anime, or even Virgil. Yourself?

It’s the “1st of tha Month,” a Sunday, and Braxton is still gone. You know, that sounds familiar. It was only Monday, February 1, 2021. And I was lying where you are, as pathetically covered in fur. But instead of remnants of Braxton, you have Virgil. And why is that? Because Virgil is too scared to get up and go get a drink of water and then come back. Not that you’re mad at him, but it’s annoying. Even when Braxton was dying, I brought his water bowl to him. Braxton was a brave boy. He could barely walk, but he would go to his room, wanting to get a drink. Again, you ask why. Because he loves you. And…

I fail Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Saying Goodbye – Navigating the Loss of a Beloved Pet
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I should be ashamed. But what about you? Hell, it’s been seven hours, and you’ve already failed number six. What are you doing? Your best MJ impression. “Why (why?), why (why?) Tell ’em that it’s Human Nature.” But don’t you thirst for more, my friend?

Dignity? I was Braxton’s Daddy. I’ll always be. You can be that and be a Dad to Virgil as well. You can stop disparaging yourself. As M Anime asked, in her own way, be the man she needs you to be. Who knows? You could beat Depression. But Acceptance. Never!

Dirty? Sure. If depraved, deviant, and disgusting, stories make money. If you can be the Ding-a-Ling that M Anime likes. If you can be a billionaire, douche. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Long Walk By Stephen King, Written As Richard Bachman
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you have to make this… Your writing comes first. You must thirst like Braxton.

Seriously, it wasn’t thirsting only for a drink of water. It was for happiness. And Braxton knew that wasn’t possible. But to stop worrying, weeping, and wallowing as you are.

You’re still sitting in bed, making up excuses as to why you can’t go out. You’re utter OMG over and over. The reason switches from moment to moment. And if you put existence first. Not just thriving but surviving, as THEY say. Question, Whose THEY?

Answer. Like the song “My Future. It’s coming on, it’s coming on, it’s coming on.”

Honestly, that’s you. You don’t have to be “Clint Eastwood” to do it. Get Angry. Thirsty. Virgil, Thirst Can B…

1582 Days Without B III, Day 1023 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 328 ~Braxton Got High, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I want to blame little bottles of energy, a case of blue balls, or my bills, so I haven’t been eating the best. But they did waive the $189.00 charge at the dealership. The CEL was a “mistake.” Now, V’s vet bill. Because when Braxton Got High, Virgil

Sunday, May 25, 2025

Meditation 328 ~Braxton Got High, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Nice to see you again. By that, I mean you’re standing; your eyes aren’t blurry. You’re awake.

But will you ever be zero dollars, getting brisket on your piggie potato and a girl begging you to Eff high? Today, you’re trying to get over an addiction, which is my fault. I’m sorry.

5-hour ENERGY is a hell of a drug. Headaches, exhaustion you wouldn’t believe, and your legs. As ZZ Top puts it, “She got legs. She knows how to use them.” But we’ll talk about your boys’ stepmom, the Wild Fire Sisters, Dimitrescu Daughters, Marimo Sakagami, Maxine… SHUT-UP! Whoever you want to fantasize about comes later.

Yesterday… “Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.” I’m at the dealership and get hit with a $189 look-at-it fee. Final verdict for the car… Zero dollars. Saved! But not from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pastor’s Purity Test: Forbidden First Time Sex by Emme Cox
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Look at that; I even got number four. But between all the worrying, how I wasted the week. There’s the exception of texting with the woman who could become your sons’ stepmom. She would be a reason to take your pants off. But you’re suffering from withdrawal, I know. You can’t be considering drinking those energy shots I bought. Eff!

But again, I saved you $189.00. A pretty girl waived the fee. Only now are you heading to the next battle? You must keep Virgil’s paws on the ground to stop him from joining Braxton.

The Rainbow Bridge is a beautiful place… But do you remember the price of getting Braxton there? Ain’t talking about money. Keeping V alive isn’t on these Six Impossible Things.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Saying Goodbye – Navigating the Loss of a Beloved Pet
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because keeping Virgil breathing… You’re his effing Daddy. It’s your job. It’s what you do. But you need a Day Job for that. And while I saved you money, there won’t be a paycheck this week. Didn’t I tell you I wasted the week? And again, I am sorry. Honestly.

Thoughts and Prayers. What am I, an Effing MAGA Red Hat worshipping a Cheeto? FDT!

But you have a choice. Do you want to be high enough to reach Braxton? It’s a lot of pain.

You should be high enough to look M Anime in the eye and say. you’re “The Only One For Me.” Too much? High enough to place Virgil and Braxton as brothers and not as competition. Hey, Braxton Got High, Virgil.

1575 Days Without B III, Day 1016 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 321 ~B Shapes Up Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I got a good look at a few bodies last week. From “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World.” I had to show her the BIG WILLIE. Not just on OF. Virgil’s still heavy from running from the rain. Braxton fits in a box and a pendent… B Shapes Up Virgil.

Sunday, May 18, 2025

Meditation 321 ~B Shapes Up Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… So, as David Ryan Harris sings, “Don’t Look Down.” You’re willing to listen to anyone but me.

I can’t say I blame you. I thought too much or not enough. And B III is proof of that.

Seriously, it’s been four years and about four months, and he’s still in the dirt. Well, in a box, anyway. Braxton trimmed down some. That is so not cool, but dark humor. You’re listening to LoFi Girl to avoid listening to DJ Cara from GTA. And still, there are tears.

Access water weight? You’re sweating bullets. Or you were with fear and keeping the air off. But for Virgil’s sake, you, or your Old Man, need to provide him with some A/C. Bills, bills, bills…

What about a vet visit? He needs to be walked. His XYZ’s of any other needs. Ignoring Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Vector: An overpowered MC harem-lite…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

So why not see to your second-born son. Why not see to yourself? I know you are only now waking up. What have you accomplished? You got a lot off your mind regarding M Anime. You already notice your tendency to overthink things, and that’s without the Purple Pills that Eminem was talking about. Yet you want to take painkillers.

Only, nothing is hurting but that isn’t the standard. Your head? Sure, M Anime set your mind at ease. But your head still feels so heavy. One worry exchanged for so many others, I’m afraid to say. Your heart is still broken, and there aren’t enough drugs in the world.

And you don’t need penis pills. Do Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pastor’s Purity Test: Forbidden First Time Sex by Emme Cox
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

No, you’re much too busy thinking about how you would do M Anime. Or Cherry. Manuscripts exchanged for plays. At least she’s being productive. But are you making money yet with your writing? How about making moves to get a refund for your GREAT investment, seeing how it’s been years. You’re thinking of surviving moment to moment or minute to minute. Is life working out for you? If it were, your writing would pay, hmm?

People would be watching you like they do Johnny Sins with the most beautiful women.

And, of course, the world would be a better place because Braxton would still be in it. He’d be twenty. But he was light enough to fly to Heaven. You’re not growing wings. Virgil? Chicken wings? B Shapes Up Virgil.

1568 Days Without B III, Day 1009 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 314 ~How Moms B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Happy Mother’s Day! Braxton and Virgil’s moms are long gone. Their second moms? One has two-legged kids, and the other has no clue. Their stepmom? A hope? A chance? But today I have to go and see my Ma. Cue “Last Of My Kind.” How Moms B, Virgil.

Sunday, May 11, 2025

Meditation 314 ~How Moms B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And today, I gotta be nice. Well, no. We’re never nice to one another. Damn, energy shot.

Whether they do the trick or it’s the Placebo Effect, whatever. You’re awake. They’re gross. But not as gross as you are going to be today. It remains to be seen. But that’s not the point of today. Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day. Star Wars Day was last week. B’s Favorite Girl turned 35 as well. Are there any other holidays you’ve forgotten? Vacation days or Sick days. Anything to put a little more money in your pocket. You’re welcome.

But you didn’t get a gift for your Ma. Grandma, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, or M Anime? Cherry doesn’t want to be a mom, and now you’re thinking about her Mum. MILF! Didn’t I say you were going to be gross? And failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Temptation Next Door, Rose Richards
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Wouldn’t your Ma be proud of her forty-year-old son? You do love your Ma. Always. However, as I was saying yesterday. The fact that you have to get out of bed to see the family is Stephen King’s The Long Walk meets Judge Dredd The Long Walk, with a trek through the snow in the Andes Mountains, and throw in Dante’s Inferno. Today is not going to be any fun.

Plus, you’re taking Virgil along for the ride. Poor little guy. But your Ma would have never invited Braxton, her furry little grandson. Virgil has that over Braxton. Utter terror.

At life? Braxton’s mom was purebred, and his second gave him up. (Your little sister). Virgil’s lineage? No clue. Your Ma? She’s good but made a mistake. Six Impossible Things:

Someone made a mistake.
Someone made a BIG goddamn mistake!
Captain Deladier, Starship Troopers (1997)

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Vector: An overpowered MC harem-lite…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

How so? Again, you’re forty and still living off your Olds’ dime. Your Ma’s dime. Your sister gave her two grandchildren. Two-Legged grandchildren. Do you have anything to show for the life she’s given? Like Sia put it, sing out, “I’m still breathing; I’m alive.”

Lovey-Dovey wise, you care for Braxton’s Favorite Girl. She has a son and a beautiful wife. Again, there’s Cherry, but you want some two-legged kids for some reason. But her Yabbos, wow. And M Anime. Would she ever be B and V’s stepmom? Breeding kink?

Most of her dreams/nightmares and short stories elude that. (Drools). And the things you write about women. MILFs, women in war, trafficking. Things you can’t share with your Ma. Unconditional Love? How Moms B, Virgil

1561 Days Without B III, Day 1002 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 307 ~A G-Thang Braxton, Virgil”

WillLeave a comment

Things that get a G up. Mammaries, dirty manuscripts, and my mutts. Hey! Braxton was a purebred, and Virgil might as well be royalty. But what about having a queen, though such and such a girl called herself something else. A G-Thang Braxton, Virgil.

Sunday, May 4, 2025

Meditation 307 ~A G-Thang Braxton, Virgil”

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Happy Star Wars Day! But can I say you’re not looking all that well, my G. Whatever!

It’s not an after-sex glow. Save that for the ladies like Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. Are you ever going to stop calling M Anime that? What? I told her about a guy using his fingers with her and her using her Yabbos on him. Cut to 3 AM today, and she’s sending you another “nightmare,” where a guy uses his fingers, and you guessed it, she uses her Yabbos in bed. That’s a message. I believe the legendary Whitesnake posed the question, “Is This Love?”

Braxton and Virgil can’t help with that. But you haven’t cried for Braxton today. And Virgil hasn’t seen you sweating. Still, there are several screens glowing. You’re still grieving. Then, groaning and moaning for M Anime. Uh, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 16, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yeah, yeah, you were doing okay with #4 until M Anime’s nightmare story. Not that you have anything against Logan Jacobs and his fantasy harem. And speaking of fantasies, what will you do for Star Wars Day? And aren’t The Last of Us and The Walking Dead: Dead City on tonight? Screen time. Anything beats the sun shining on Monday. For the love of everything, let the dead rise before then. If not, “Let The Monster Rise.” Repo Man did.

Your effing Day Job! You would take being a gangsta over going to that place. However, you wouldn’t have to if you wrote about General Xu, Associate, Boss, and this new fellow I created last night, Wraith Ambrose Blackwood. G’s who’d accomplish Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Temptation Next Door, Rose Richards
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Or they wouldn’t have to. They wouldn’t forget Braxton’s Favorite Girl’s birthday. A very Happy Birthday to Braxton’s Favorite Girl, his and Virgil’s aunt. You love her like pancakes… More to the Milestone tune of “Girl, I care about you, I’m there for you,” yep.

What about Cherry? You’ll never say no to Yabbos, but your eyes are glazed over. Virgil’s also lying at the foot of the bed, so zero fun, sir. But with adrenaline running through your veins when M Anime uh seduced you with her dream, a pill, and an energy shot.

You’re feeling about as high as Snoop at the moment. “Nuthin’ But A “G” Thang.” However, you’re saying, “I’ve Seen Better Days,” When Braxton was breathing. A G-Thang Braxton, Virgil

1554 Days Without B III, Day 995 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 300 ~Braxton, Virgil, So, Universal…~

WillLeave a comment

My Olds took my sister and me to Disney World, Universal, and other places. Is it this talk of those new IDs, my wasted paid leave, or the fact that I’ve wasted 300 days not doing what I promised Braxton… And Virgil. “Braxton, Virgil, So, Universal…”

Sunday, April 27, 2025

Meditation 300 ~Braxton, Virgil, So, Universal…~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… I have a question. How do you get to Universal Studios? That’s a tough row to hoe.

Considering it took you thirty minutes after sunrise to get up and walk little Virgil. Braxton would have sat on your head until you needed air. And speaking of which, when was the last time you wanted air? It’s only been eight hours, and whether at the Day Job or sitting in bed, you wish you weren’t here. What a way to begin the week.

No wonder you already need a vacation. It’s only 8:00 AM. And even if you had a usual nine to five and the crisis wasn’t nickels and dimes, what then? I just wanna be successful.

Is that what you’re singing today? And what is success? Braxton alive and happy with Virgil. The money, cars, clothes, hoes; suppose Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Independent Study ― Harem University Book 5 by Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Because “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Me? You? Either way, Braxton is gone. Somehow, you have to see Virgil. And even if you didn’t, you couldn’t go out in a “Blaze of Glory” like “300.” Uh-Oh! Guess what day it is? 300 days, and what do you have to show for it? Well, you’re talking to me. As for myself? What’s one more thing to worry about? Money, how long you’re going to be sitting on this mattress, and some girl’s mammaries. Who is it today? Cherry, M Anime, there’s a lot of pretty girls in this city. You’re still upset that you’re wasting all of your paid leave to simply survive. And not visiting your boys’ stepmom, M Anime. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 16, Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like how to stop thinking about M Anime in that way, you can’t get her nightmares out of your head. Hell! You’re writing two full-blown novels about them. “There’s Nightmare At The Market,” and “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” If General Xu from the latter novel can make her a wifey, why can’t you? Would that be success to you?

Whatever! Again, you’re wasting all your paid leave time. You’re watching all these good men with their wives and girlfriends having babies and living the dream. You would settle for being Johnny Sins and effing your way around the world. What do you want to do? You want to publish Braxton’s novels, give your kid his name, live like you promised… Braxton, Virgil, So, Universal…

1547 Days Without B III, Day 988 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 293 ~Space Between B’s Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Am I spacing out? No, I believe I have my feet planted on the ground along with my eyes. I can’t have Virgil eaten by some possum or anything requiring a rabies shot, which reminds me of Money for V’s vaccines like B. “Space Between B’s Virgil.”

Sunday, April 20, 2025

Meditation 293 ~Space Between B’s Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… But, Because, B*tch… It’s only 8:20 AM. And already you’re making excuses and cursing your “life.” Sorry.

The week I’m leaving to you is effed. Only which is more effed? A week filled with humiliations galore, as mine was. Or a week where you’ll make half a day’s wage. Cue the stomachache you’re getting. The space between the zeros in your bank account is getting tighter and tighter. Your stomachache could be a good thing. Smaller stomach.

As if you got any guts. Yesterday, I admitted I was terrified. You know why that is.

“Aren’t you supposed to be validating me or somethin’?

Oh, yeah, actually, I am. Uh, but I’m not gonna do it anymore because you’re lying to me, and it’s exhausting.

(Scoffs)

And you want me to validate that? No. In fact, fuck no.”
Joel and Gail, The Last of Us

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not your friend. Braxton was/is your friend, son, protector, therapist, and a million other things, but at best, I’m an “Everyday Normal Guy,” ha-ha. “I’m just a regular everyday normal mothereffer,” you’re singing today. You’re an “A*shole” refusing these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 15, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

What does Braxton think about that? He’ll tell you on Monday. You’re dead like him. You get so few Day Job hours that you’re surprised anyone knows you’re still living.

Virgil does. You’re sure V appreciates you not letting that possum eat him while walking. If you want to show your gratitude, it’s this. At the Day Job, you only think about the bad. On the path behind the house, you think of the good and the bad. Being afraid.

Horrified, you’ll always be that boy saying, “I learned about sex from the Sears catalog. And then I played with my mothereffer all day long.” What else is there? Writing…

Seriously (looks at you almost brain-dead). What about OnlyFans? Wishes, worries, wanking. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Independent Study ― Harem University Book 5 by Dirk Knight
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Hell, if you were going to change things up, how about thinking of a way to make over a hundred dollars this week? Write it down or wank one out so you’re clearheaded. Uh Eww! But you know who you are. It’s only been ten hours. Boys, books, boo… Yabbos.

You have two books about Braxton, and you’ll take a picture of Virgil daily… Profit?

However, if you can’t or WON’T do that, you have three erotic books and all the time in the world to imagine. How tight do Yabbos have to be to grip man parts? You’re gross.

How much space do you have between now and the end? Virgil’s vet visit. Other responsibilities that require big bucks. Blame Space Between B’s Virgil

1540 Days Without B III, Day 981 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 286 ~B And V’s Letters~

WillLeave a comment

If I were to write letters to my sons, they should be about being good men or doggies. The fact that their Dad loves them. I could stop apologizing to them all the time or say that I’m happy. That almost made me laugh. 26 letters. “B And V’s Letters”

Sunday, April 13, 2025

Meditation 286 ~B And V’s Letters~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I wish I could say this.: I’m proud of you, grateful, or even “I love you.”

Yeah, I know. I spent a bit of yesterday listening to Fearless Motivation and everything. Secondly, I would be lying to you. And seeing how it’s now 5:50 AM, you would be lying to yourself. Weren’t you supposed to be up at four? Well, a part of you was. Disgusting.

Instead of focusing on yourself, you could have progressed on ‘Cries Come Women, Come Country.’ You could have been editing M Anime’s short story or delving into her nightmare that inspired your novel. These missed opportunities bring you to your current state of mind. That’s…

Mad. Well, at least you’re not crying over Braxton. As I said so many times last week. Are you depressed or allergic? Either way, it’s not these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Comfort After Pet Loss; Effectively Cope with… by Xydnee James
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And there’s so much more to be done. You can only tell Braxton you’re sorry.

Explanations, Exaggerations, and things to make you go Eww! What were you looking up before Virgil did that little panicky run of his? HK. If M Anime and Cherry knew. Unlike most guys, you have a need for names, not just nonsensical Yabbos nonsense. Ha!

So why aren’t you working on your novel? Because you got up late. And now you need to talk to yourself. You have to speak to Lady Sophia as well because next week’s gonna suck.

Every day sucks, especially the last 1533 of them. Something else to apologize for. Hmm. Sorry, Virgil, and you’re grateful for him. And if only you’d do Six Impossible Things.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 15, Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Imagine the Dad that Virgil deserves, the man that Braxton believed in. You have the potential to be that person. You’re not even the one singing out somebody “Save Me” right now, but you can change that. You’ll write it down. But to do it… Writing is both the virus and the vaccination. Whatever. Seriously, you know as much about medicine as RFK Jr… You’re not that effing stupid. You have the potential to learn and grow, even at 40.

That’s about all the motivation you’re going to get from your past life this morning. There’s also the fact you don’t have any videos of Aika Sano from Ane wa Yanmama Junyuu-chuu, so you won’t cut up clips for X. Nevertheless, time, money, and existence.

Big words and ideas you’ll pen. But perform? No! 26 letters in the alphabet saying nothing. B And V’s Letters?

1533 Days Without B III, Day 974 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 279 ~B Aware Reminded Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Old enough to forget how to breathe. Too harsh? I should have forgotten at 17. Braxton didn’t forget at 15, but he stopped… And whose fault is that? Virgil is 4, and he wonders how I do it. And why I rushed into the rain. B Aware Reminded Virgil

Sunday, April 6, 2025

Meditation 279 ~B Aware Reminded Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… In case you have forgotten, these lights, the water, and the air keeping Virgil TOASTY isn’t yours.

But if you had your way, you’d forget how to breathe. Forty years, but you keep going at it. I forgot to stop too. So it’s not your fault. Only if it keeps raining as it has been for the past hour… FEAR is the strongest advocate for stopping making a mockery of your existence.

But Braxton must be remembered. And Virgil needs his father. He hasn’t gone running yet. Virgil hates the rain. You hate the backyard fence… in the rain. Backyard fence repair.

Yeah, that’s one more thing you haven’t erased from the phone as of yet. You have every reason to quit. I was saying yesterday, after all the pictures of Yabbos, what’s left? A list of failures. My Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Personal Assistant for My Dad’s Best Friend ― Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Like father, like son. You and Braxton were both constantly looking for comfy spots. Ha! Braxton had his favorite girl. But today, you had no girl in particular. Yet B’s favorite girl. M Anime and Cherry are prominent in your gallery. Like you’d forget them.

However, I don’t need to ask why you’re so down today. Fearing the backyard fence… Sure. But you like the rain. It makes everything slow down. Reminds people of mortality.

Again, Braxton found his wings (a picture on the phone), you’re still breathing (unfortunately), and you’re wrapped up in blankets, shaking in fear. Effing fencing…

Braxton would be ashamed… Probably not. Braxton and Virgil, too, are better men than you. That’s why you rushed into the storm. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Comfort After Pet Loss; Effectively Cope with… by Xydnee James
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

One to add is living without fear or, at the very least, “Be Not So Fearful.” Only this comes from a man who nearly creams for a girl at least a thousand miles away, a couple of models, and a ton of anime. Well, not anymore; you reduced the gallery to 300 or so this morning. All left are pictures of your sons, three pretty girls, anime, things that scare you, make you sad, or a smorgasbord of your mind. You need to see this type of stuff. What you need to do is forget all you know. Is there anything that should stay? Memories…

There’s a high school bench. Your First Time. Your son on your shoulder. But FEAR remains. B Aware Reminded Virgil.

1526 Days Without B III, Day 967 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will