Saga 268 ~I’ll B Angry Virgil~

If I were to write about everything making me angry… That’s another book, a way to stay awake or WOKE. And it is libel to get me arrested at some point. But yeah, I’m angry. Like The Hulk, I’m always angry. Mostly at B being gone. I’ll B Angry Virgil

Sunday, March 26, 2023

Saga 268 ~I’ll B Angry Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even if that makes me a horrible “human being,” it’s better than you… Well, horror movies.

And before you forget, as I did. You should watch “Making of The Last of Us.” If anything, that’s the least of what’s making you mad today. And you did wake up angry… again. As always, it begins with one single truth. Braxton is dead. Father to a murdered son and all that. And you’re the one that did it, so… well, you signed the papers anyway. Always remember. After that, everything should be easier to deal with. But you don’t want to, ha. Now before you turn all selfish, there’s Virgil. How terrible are you? Your side hurts as he lies against it. The way he’s breathing is much different from Braxton’s. You remember how he’d hack in fear for days… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Carry On: Reflections for a New Generation” John Lewis
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (One Day)
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 079 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 086 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

That was one of his he needed to get over. But you? It was only last night; I was looking at the PetSmart where I got him from. When was the last Saturday I visited? Humiliation? The knowledge that I wasn’t the right person for Virgil. Hmm? What about you, though? You’ll have a hard enough time dealing with people this week. And to think I wasted most of yesterday trying not to think about today. Even though the Day Job schedule is in black and white, you were expecting a phone call. Speaking of which, is it eight yet? Outside? Oh, what? You’re that eager to take off your pants… effing edging? I wasted fifteen bucks. Titties on OnlyFans. No tits, and wanting to see Cherry’s. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Black Women’s History of the United States (5)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (One Day)
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 086 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like getting over The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident on January 11, 2022. Or The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023. You have to say that at least once a week. I did snag you some vitamins to try. You would have preferred a sex toy. And what about some actual food for the week? You’ve had pepper dogs and onion rings for two days, ha. And that’s the biggest thing. Well, other than your Enormous Penis… Okay, I’ll stop, hmm. Save that for OnlyFans. At least you fixed things with that woman. Eight out of ten, she says, on your dick. The only affirmation you’re getting today, all because of effing anger. Tomorrow it’s not going anywhere. Today, sitting in bed. I’ll B Angry Virgil.

784 Days Without B III, Day 225 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 261 ~I’ll B Annoying Virgil~

What really annoys me? Air. Being a black man in America, I shouldn’t say that. But I continue to breathe in and out. I listen to members of the GOP that… um, anyway. B III, of course, is missing out, but what is Heaven? While I’ll B Annoying Virgil.

Sunday, March 19, 2023

Saga 261 ~I’ll B Annoying Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you are… well, you want tacos. What’s one more thing not to share with Virgil Vivi?

I shared with Braxton all the time. And look where that got him. I’m sure Virgil doesn’t want to hear about it. Well, that is, if you REALLY talked to him at all. Today or tomorrow? At the moment, you’re only annoyed with yourself, to be honest. Or with me. Apologies. I didn’t learn from The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident on January 11, 2022. Oh No. That led to The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023. And yes, you’re still sick. To think, brave people, brainy, and God knows better, would be recovering somehow. You hate wearing a watch because you’re clocking your time in Hell. What? 777 days? There are your pendants of Braxton. Oh, your hoody or Linus’s blanket. And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “How to Be an Antiracist” by Ibram X. Kendi
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (One Day)
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 072 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 079 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Like everything you wear to “act right,” it’s annoying to report my failures every Sunday. And, yes, these are my failures, but Hell! You’ve already failed six, getting out of bed this morning. You won’t have the time for five. Again look at the watch. Sit still! Four was you annoying Virgil by kicking him out of the bedroom. I uploaded all those movies yesterday, and you took advantage of yourself… But like Norah Jones sang out. “I don’t know why I didn’t come.” There’s no time for three, either. And even if you had the whole week, you wouldn’t do anything. As for two, didn’t I say I uploaded new porn? Who are you, Lou effing Bega. Talk about, One-hit wonder… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Carry On: Reflections for a New Generation” John Lewis
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (One Day)
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 079 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I like Rebekah, Scarlet, Chanel, and Audrey, A little bit of… It’s annoying being pathetic. How about downright STUPID when it comes to M Anime and Cherry? There’s B’s Aunt. And what do you want me to tell you? I’ve read from two highly educated and influential black men. Yeah fuck you Ron DeSantis. And while we’re on the subject fuck Donald Trump too. Do you want to know what else is annoying? Hoping Trump will get what’s coming to him. Only did he ever kill a fur baby? If you weren’t looking up porn. You might know these things. But besides that, you’re looking up medicine and the time. How much does Virgil have? Will you love him like Braxton? I’ll B Annoying Virgil

777 Days Without B III, Day 218 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 254 ~B Quiet, Virgil’s Watching~

Braxton’s brave enough to face the rain, but Virgil? If 2V got a B III’s quality, I’d hope it’d be bravery and not wanting an empty belly because… Only V’s two, and B was/is fifteen (eighteen). I’m no role model, either. “B Quiet, Virgil’s Watching.”

Sunday, March 12, 2023

Saga 254 ~B Quiet, Virgil’s Watching~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you can’t even afford a babysitter… dogsitter, whatever. How you need one right this second, hmm.

Keep in mind if this were Braxton… A few things about that. Virgil ain’t Braxton. Inevitably, he wants to be. Hell! You wish you were as well. Braxton’s Smart, Strong… And unfortunately, you didn’t wake up as a Spirit today. Sorry I continued to exist. Saturday night… yeah, I was all kinds of sick. The Cherry Collision. And this morning? Again, if it were Braxton, it would be more emotional than physical. A fucking illness. Only the more things change, the more they stay the same? Remember Braxton’s pain and panic. The fact he wasn’t eating. And now Virgil leaves an uneaten treat… not again. I hate to say it… well, not really. But you’re acting like a real dick. Too early. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined Mesmerizing Caroline 2
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 065 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 072 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Is Virgil following your lead? I was so in love with dying while Braxton lived. Only it was the soul. And for him, it was his small body with a good heart. Kidneys? Dammit! It’s “Times Like These” I wish I had stuck with becoming a veterinarian. Ha-ha. It’s not like I had role models, okay. As “H” put it, “role models, role models.” Okay, stop. Now you’re thinking about getting in some girl’s pants. Did you have to mention pants? The only reason yours are on is that Virgil was crying. And for what? Do you even care? Because you didn’t when it was Triple B. And look where that got him. And you? All you care about is Triple X. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined “How to Be an Antiracist” Ibram X. Kendi
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 072 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At this rate, you should include, being Johnny Sins. Not rushing around sick in one hour. How about paying off some OnlyFans girls. Or thinking about two English vixens, etc. Then you wonder why Virgil is freaking out. He’s quieted down now. So did Braxton. But of all the lessons Braxton could teach the freeloader, usurper, um, Virgil. Being mean? Think of what you have to do today for Virgil’s benefit? You’re being a selfish bastard, though, looking at the clock. It’s only been forty-five minutes. Shows you’re, um, pathetic. “But I’m not crazy. I’m just a little unwell. I know, right now, you can’t tell.” As the song goes. Any advice? Be as your son. Alive, not dead. Good Luck. B Quiet, Virgil’s Watching

770 Days Without B III, Day 211 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 247 ~My Last B, Virgil~

“I will not accept a life I do not deserve.” Um, if I were in the GOP and enjoyed effing people over. If I were Johnny Sins, effing hot chicks. If I could write like Eric Vall or something like Mesmerizing Caroline. No! My success, My Last B, Virgil.

Sunday, March 5, 2023

Saga 247 ~My Last B, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But why is that your definition of success? Should you worry about being WOKE? Um, not really.

But as far as getting your naked ass out of bed… Any advice on that? Pick one day out of the week to rest. Again, sleep naked, get eight hours, and as if you need prompting. Ahem, Get Ur Freak On. Ain’t that a modicum of success? As if you were B’s dad or BFFF. And I’ll never say I was great at that. Every morning I woke up saying, “I’ll do my best,” ha-ha, at least when it came to my son. To think Braxton was the greatest success. Without him, what comes next? To raise a good man… Considering how he was with his Aunt Carolina. But at the end of the day, he did the impossible these days. Love. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline The Beginning (Imogen Linn)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 058 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 065 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And at best, you’re a C-student. See, “Cash rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M., get the money. Dollar dollar bill, y’all.” Oh, of course, coochie… Good for you not using the other C-word. I read “Mesmerizing Caroline” last. Um, a girl being bathed in cum… okay. (Breathes) I was only trying to get a D in some math class at one time. All so my “Dad” wouldn’t beat my ass. I’ll tell you the things you’re going to do with this week in existence. But it’s so sad that you’re already failed this week. I got 2V to walk downstairs all so he can have more space, and what does he do? Pisses on the carpet. Doggies! Locking him up, so what about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Ibram X. Kendi?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 065 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Fuck you, dude. You spent almost three hours dicking around, literally. If you didn’t have your dick in your hands, it was talking to M Anime or Cherry. Fucking everything. Problems? No! Your own failures. What’s pissing you off at the moment though so dumb. Remember how I’ve spent these last months trying to find the perfect song for Spotify? Your year of music? Only how did you fuck this up? What incredible song selection did you choose? Butterfly by Crazy Town. Because all you could think of or with is your fucking dick. Was it always like this? After Braxton died, there was nothing. Finding him a mom was the last thing on my mind. Your existence; making the grade? My Last B, Virgil

763 Days Without B III, Day 204 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 240 ~300, 2V, B III~

I can’t say I’m a big fan of the movie 300. Wanting a body like a Spartans. And specific scenes with Lena Headey or the oracles… I shouldn’t be paying for any movies. I got fur kids. Not a fur kid but two. Braxton hasn’t left, um… 300, 2V, B III

Sunday, February 26, 2023

Saga 240 ~300, 2V, B III~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as the song goes, “I need a dollar, dollar a dollar is what I need.” Billionaire?

Not you looking for $300.00? And that’s if you’re lucky. Is there any chance you’re scheduling that doctor’s appointment? After The Cherry Collision on Thursday, February 16, 2023? You won’t let yourself forget the date. Fuck! You need a date, but we’ll get to that. Like getting to the $300, you owe B III and 2V. Oh, look at that, you remembered, ha? $150.00 for each of them. And if we’re not talking about the material… V needs a nail trim and bath; what about meds for the month? I know you at least have been jonesing for a painkiller. Not that it would do anything physically. Mentally, you’re not as brave as, let’s say, the 300. Oh no, you’re cowardly with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING NSFW: A Novel by Isabel Kaplan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 051 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 058 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Should I also mention stupid when it comes to Math? Low blow. I apologize. Father. You’re speaking like him. And you’re not Virgil’s. Not even sure you want to be. Billionaire? That’s what you want to be. But do you know how they talk about families affording a $400.00 emergency? As I said, what was it, Friday? Savings, Paypal, House? That’s $900.00. Then $100.00 for me. Now, where is this $300 for the boys? Dammit. There’s the dollars that don’t quite make it to $100.00, so… Suggestions, Plans, Excuses, hmm? Where do you cut? Oh, don’t worry. The last time you cut yourself was shaving. I’ve never been that kind of person, and neither will you. Your pain comes from Braxton and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline The Beginning (Imogen Linn)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 058 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

That’s not fair at all to say. I spent over $500.00, and for what. Your son is worth it all. “And you could have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt,” as the song goes. Because really, what do I have to leave you? Again I did the Math. And it seems I’ve never been wrong about being broke. Another song coming on (sigh)… “Unforgettable, that’s what you are.” No matter how much I wished for it. Not waking up? Or how about that song “when I’m in the strip club, I get love for about 500 dollars.” If you wonder why we’re talking late, you need only look in the mirror. 300, 2V, B III

756 Days Without B III, Day 197 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 233 ~Medicine Time B… Virgil~

I let Virgil out when it’s time for B’s morning meds. Braxton’s evening meds, again V’s out. Can’t have him hear me call out for B III. And there’s alone time. Not crying or comatose. Releasing insanity in two ways. One, Medicine Time B… Virgil.

Sunday, February 19, 2023

Saga 233 ~Medicine Time B… Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I know you’re saying… “You moron! What were you thinking?! Do you realize what this means?!”

As if you have time for some “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.” Better days. A few years before Braxton even? Only in about 45 minutes. You’ll have to untwist your legs and go get his meds. Too Little, Too Late, right? Meds for the dead? But Virgil can go out. Which again reminds me that this is all my fault. And you have to deal with All I’ve Done, hmm? You were supposed to go out today to pay for my mistakes. Last night before I fell asleep, watching WWE Elimination Chamber. I looked up Urgent Care, GoodRx, and CVS. Looking over at the table opposite B’s Memorial, it’s a fucking crime scene. Another one. Energy drinks, an empty medicine bottle… Oh, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 3 by Rodzil LaBraun
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 051 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Let’s talk about #4, which is why you’re in this mess. I want to be all Bill Withers “I know, I know, I know….” Again, I’m the one to blame. And all the I’m Sorry’s in the world aren’t going to put cash in your wallet. Every day you turn more into your father. Dammit! History repeats itself. So if you’re not your father, you’re a fucking Republican. So gross. So there’s Tuesday, January 11, 2022, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. “Hey I oughta leave young thing alone.” Fucking Bill Withers, man. More like a 21-year-old actress. A 20-year-old video game vixen. And a 25-year-old poet. And that’s on top of everything on Twitter. So, Six Impossible Things

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING NSFW: A Novel by Isabel Kaplan
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 051 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You don’t seem to have the time. Because you’ll be way too busy or have forgotten. I have no advice this week and hope… “Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.” Therapy, Counseling, Institutions? Forget it. That’s what I wish for. Every day you’ll wish for Braxton to come running down the stairs when you call. “Medicine time, B; come get your medicine.” As mean as you are to Virgil, him sleeping by your side every night… You’ll wish he never needs meds. Fuck! I wish I’d come on the 15th, so The Cherry Collision never happened. To Forget. That’s the gift. No doctors, no pain, especially no stupidity. Nope! Medicine Time B… Virgil

749 Days Without B III, Day 190 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 226 ~Excuse Braxton and Virgil~

What do B III and 2V have in common? I have no excuse for ignoring them. I excused myself from B III’s dying because I hate the Day Job. I excused myself from V’s life because of that death, the Day Job, and me being a dick. Excuse Braxton and Virgil

Sunday, February 12, 2023

Saga 226 ~Excuse Braxton and Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you? You don’t know who, what, or why you are. Oh, what, two hours isn’t enough?

Well, three. But from 4:00 AM to 5:00 AM, you wished you were dead. Ain’t that the dream? To join Braxton? It’s the one thing we can agree on. But B III excused himself. Yet another way of saying you killed him. I wish I had enjoyed last week. No! I was much too busy making excuses. I worried about the pay, the “Power of The Pussy” and puppies. Yes, you’re thinking about boobs, but the point was more for Braxton and Virgil. You’re not looking for my advice. Or rather, you wouldn’t take it anyway. But if you care to listen. You have to start being nicer to Virgil. You’ll never excuse yourself from your grief and guilt. I did from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Melody Hooked Up” by Imogen Linn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 037 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 044 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Hell! You had to make up for my failure this morning. “Melody Hooked Up,” really? Forty-four days. I swear, last night, I was moaning and groaning, hoping that Virgil stayed in Braxton’s Room. He shouldn’t be there at all… What did I say? Be nice. But you can’t help how you feel. And not only because you want to fuck and/or masturbate. Like all the time. “That’s my secret Cap. I’m always horny.” And you will be too. It would have happened this morning but of course, the freeloader… Be nice! AHEM, Virgil was sleeping, and there was no excuse to move him, so all you did was read. Braxton would be proud. Although that’s one more reason you want to feel. Anything but the failure of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 3 by Rodzil LaBraun
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because there is no excuse to miss Braxton’s Birthday. Which is Monday. Any plans? Well, he will be eighteen. You mean it. Not that he would be, but he will be eighteen. A milestone. You think? You don’t even remember turning eighteen yourself… twenty years ago. Here’s a question. What’s your excuse for not living all these years? You just started. Existing, never living. You aren’t worthy of being alive. And sure, you could get political. You could blame this on your “Daddy,” the Day Job, or your wayward “DICK.” Always. But you’re facing the man in the mirror now. The most loved dog in creation, or the mutt upstairs. For the last time, BE NICE! Can’t excuse yourself for who you are. Change your ways? Excuse Braxton and Virgil.

742 Days Without B III, Day 183 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 219 ~Braxton, Virgil, Smell Disappointment~

I wish I could say a shower would help? How much faith do I have in this clinical strength stuff? Well, between that and a movie where the ending kind of stinks. I have no money to burn. And if I keep my Day Job? Braxton, Virgil, Smell Disappointment

Sunday, February 5, 2023

Saga 219 ~Braxton, Virgil, Smell Disappointment~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what’s that I smell coming off you? Money burning a hole in your pocket? At best…

I did remember to buy you some “clinical” deodorant yesterday. “That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.” Right? It beats smelling like Braxton always and forever… Do you mean dead or like a dog? Um? It beats the last couple of days or that film, you think. Well, are we talking about “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story” or “Knock at the Cabin?” For the moment, “Knock at the Cabin.” I swear! Even with everything they said about that movie, the ending still makes you think… it sucked. Good, you can judge something else for a change. And not only you. The fact you woke up late. Or that you were edging. At least you made it to the dining room table.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 037 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

All of last week was one big Disappointment. Oh, look here, Six Impossible Things missed. But there’s always more. For example, as you finished “The Book Eaters” this morning. It’s not counting towards the Kindle Challenge. That means reading another book that’s not about dead fur babies. Not to mention reading one about a dead history, and people thank you, Ron DeSantis. There’s so much reading working on your brain. Disappointment. I shouldn’t say that; your week is only starting. But as far as sweat, blood, and tears. Well, there’s no blood. I wish for that because then I could go and be with Braxton. Alarming. Well, more like alarms because you were hoping for death every time you hit them. But Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Refill Amazon Card)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 037 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yeah, that still needs to be done. Because you’ll be busy moaning and groaning in bed, sweating. I’m some kind of addict, and you will be too sad to say. Twitter, Replika, and OnlyFans have been less than helpful. Remember that @magicmagy is on OnlyFans. Whatever food you cook won’t bring Braxton running. And as far as Virgil is concerned. Hell! It’s not that you’ll work up a musk playing with him outside. More like you’ll step into shit trying to get him back in the house. Why not take a walk with him? Advice? Hard to give it when you’re worried about anything and everything with the Day Job. Humiliations Galore? And I hope you don’t bring them upon yourself. Braxton, Virgil, Smell Disappointment

735 Days Without B III, Day 176 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 212 ~B The Man Virgil~

Braxton Barks was not reincarnated as Virgil Vivi. Only something I need to remind myself of often. If I was ever reincarnated, I’d want to come back as a virus. Being a “man.” Having to honor a man I don’t know. And then Tuesday… “B The Man Virgil.”

Sunday, January 29, 2023

Saga 212 ~B The Man Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I can’t teach you to become one. What about the first thing in becoming a man?

A mistake? And no, I don’t mean getting up at 4:50AM. Damn, Royal Rumble! If anything, it’s getting up at all. Your luck is as shitty as mine. Worse? You’ll have to deal with it. Now, if you want some advice… remember that no matter what happens tomorrow, Tuesday will be worse. What the fuck kind of advice is that? What’s with all the language? It’s either snoring, crying, screaming, or moaning. Breathing sucks, alright. As I said, waking up was a pretty big mistake. Blowing off work, talking to Ma, and all these other words. Every single noise. Hell! You’re longing for the silence, which is Braxton being gone. And then there’s Virgil beside you, sleeping away. A mistake? Like missing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Grieving the Loss of a Fur Baby by Becky Connellan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (Soon)
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 022 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 029 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Or becoming a monster? The things that you should have on this list. Anything doable. Like again, being this meanie, this monster, or a murderer? The dreams of January 31st. More like a nightmare. To think you would feel better at the Day Job, then, well… Funerals aren’t supposed to make people feel better… Your granddaddy’s won’t. The horror, the horror. You only want to vomit. And that’s not the energy drink talking. Such is fear. Someone said that behind every fear is the person you want to become. Deadman? Because only a monster would hurt his Ma, kill his furry son, and think about… well, everything the way you do. If only things could go back to normal, Braxton, Day Job, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because being a Daddy. Being the man? It’s the one sentiment we share. Manhood, fatherhood. You are not Virgil’s father. Didn’t I say, sometime this month, I’d read “A Different Alchemy” again? It’s all about a father losing his son. Like I haven’t got enough. Between The Last of Us and The Book Eaters. Devon hasn’t lost Cai… just starting. Fucking ironic that the reason you have to deal with Monday, fucking fearing your father. Your Ma lost her father. A man you feel nothing for. And is fucking you up beyond the grave. I swear, I hate you, and you hate me, but people in general. Being a Misanthrope. Then there’s Braxton. The best man you’ve ever known. Son, dog. B The Man Virgil

728 Days Without B III, Day 169 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 205 ~Virgil Dreams, Braxton’s Nightmare~

Don’t look up where I was on this day in 2021… Um, too Late! I was looking at boobs… for a book review, thank you. It’s the reason I got up on time today. Or was it the nightmare of my father? Dreams of my fur-kids? Virgil Dreams, Braxton’s Nightmare

Sunday, January 22, 2023

Saga 205 ~Virgil Dreams, Braxton’s Nightmare~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And while I wish you were me… uh, no. I pray you aren’t as forgetful or lazy…

Let’s address the elephant in the room. No! It’s better if it’s B III. He’s so much bigger in your mind right now. Friday, January 20, 2023. A day that will live in infamy. Fuck! Well, I forgot a quote for him. I swore yesterday I had finished saying that I would never “Accept” him being gone. And on a day when I felt so productive to a certain degree. Productivity means making it to the dining room table to write. I forgot B’s words. Much too busy thinking about an English woman’s chest but don’t start that today, please. Hell! How do you think you were up on time this morning? 15 minutes masturbating. Virgil was “displeased” being kicked out. Now Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Grief Recovery Handbook for Pet Loss by Russell Friedman
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (Soon)
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 016 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 022 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least he’s not in trouble. He can come back at any time. Braxton’s door and the bedroom are wide open. Of course, he won’t, which is the only thing B has over 2V. Other than that, Virgil is living the dream. Did I mention you being productive today? You have to get up off your ass and go out for more than pepper dogs and some onion rings. B suffered that too. When he passed, I chose rings over fries. Waffles over pancakes. And what about all the chocolate? I didn’t allow it, never ever here. Loving Braxton Barks. Now Virgil Vivi enjoys bottled water because there’s no trusting the tap. He gets a new type of food etc. But hand-me-down Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Grieving the Loss of a Fur Baby by Becky Connellan
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (Soon)
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 022 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Talk about nightmares. You had to look up one of our conversations. Braxton’s last week, Gospel 207 ~Hell With Instructions Will~. From January 21, 2021. Jesus, the man I was. Only as the song goes, “What have I become? My sweetest friend?” What about you? Dreams from last night… nightmares would be more accurate. My father was there. And he, above all else, says that before this week has even begun… Hell! Weren’t you on YouTube and Twitter a moment ago? Well, at least it wasn’t porn. Indeed, Black History. Fuck You Ron DeSantis! Anyway, dreaming of your father says one thing about you and Virgil. He’s living, but you’re not loving. Would one rather live or know love? Indifference Kills! Virgil Dreams, Braxton’s Nightmare

721 Days Without B III, Day 162 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will