Episode 327 ~For A Willing Canvas~

I was never one for painting, and with my writing, I said something about creating a God and letting him put the world together and that has to spill out into the waking world, and there is plenty of room. For A Willing Canvas so?

Friday, May 24, 2019

Episode 327 ~For A Willing Canvas~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, more than that if we’re counting every poem, story, and word. I’m not about to throw a Trump Tantrum about never having an audience. Don’t get me wrong; it’s been almost two years, so it’s about passion and desire. An OBSESSION which has gotten me into more trouble than anything. Porn, I can make it through the day. Twitter is a crap shoot. I’ve only spoken with Cherry, but I’m staying out of my pictures today.

The problem is everything is a canvas. I spoke yesterday about the “White Walls,” but you see why I prefer black. Only, it doesn’t allow you to say anything when you bathe in black. Now that would be a decent political metaphor. When I’m asleep, there are no worries. I saw a tick on B III’s ear last night so big concern. The thing is, getting it off became my goal. This morning I went and got a haircut so I won’t be pulling my hair out. What about black women? Again, please understand, all women are trouble in one shape or another. Now, this isn’t racism talking; African American women usually spell trouble. Do I sound weak I can’t handle some independent, Nubian queen while white women run away?

I’ll tell you there were a few that had the decency to shoot me down with dignity. The others; no, I don’t want to mention them today, it’s been rather good. Still, for the record, I prefer the women in books. How about those that I think about in my shower? In my new house, all black everything but the pages Lady Sophia will remain my asylum.

Along with the girl I marry. Only, “Think And Grow Rich” talks about having a definite purpose. You know my battle colors, red and black, Queen Daenerys Targaryen, a woman after my own heart. Now what I should see is gold and green. Those Lady Sophia are a testament of the artistic world.

Why do you think green has symbolized the color of creation often? Yes, I like nature, but give me the green I seek, and I will build a brand new world. Gold blinds us but with the black within me, which is worse? The black though now that comes from the mind, body, and soul where will I put it, women for A Willing Canvas.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 323 ~Always Choose Hope Over Fear~

I was hoping to say “Long Live Queen Daenerys Targaryen of the Seven Kingdoms,” but I did fear that something like this would happen to her and thus the Game Of Thrones concluded but what about real life. Always Choose Hope Over Fear.

Monday, May 13, 2019

Episode 323 ~Always Choose Hope Over Fear~

Eighty-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now but am I hoping for more or fearing that I will lose what I have. You know me Madam Justice like Daenerys Targaryen, may she R.I.P. I have my ambitions. There is one common phrase; “I Want It All.” Fear comes when you have plenty. So that is why one must push forward. You can run from fear, face it down, or destroy it. Only let me take another quote from Game Of Thrones.

“Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are not safe.”

Now I won’t lie to you. When I rise on any given morning, I don’t HOPE for the best going to the Day Job. Those people made it impossible. Instead, I prepare for the worse, and still, there are specks of light. Remember, yesterday I had a little conversation with myself? Yeah, the Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. I wasn’t hoping for one, wishing or anything so I get two in my lap. Hell, I should stop praying for respect at the Day Job, and it will fall out of the sky now. Is it my fear that I’ll never have it at all and again I have enough, a paycheck.

Why does hope scare me so? If anything, it is my hope that should frighten them. For they say Caesar was ambitious, Madam Justice I wanted to buy an airline for vengeance. I did start writing a short story about it. I hope I’ll have enough money to shut down my Day Job. Enough that Walmart will overtake Target. Noted I hate them both but Target fired me and why; FEAR. Losing all I had, my S.A.D. I could continue. Only there was never any hope there. Those that people have for me should scare me more than my desires any day, dear Madam Justice.

I say it often enough, my hopes. Write a bestseller, make one million dollars. Move to Nevada, buy-in to Dennis Hof’s brothels or build my own, then a restaurant. Nudie Bar, love hotel, movie studio. All this and have a family. Only then I’ll know the fear of having something to lose. Hell, I have B III, and I won’t even put such a thought in the universe because he is going to live forever.

So yes, hope can drive many a man insane, but fear is a death sentence. It did end the Mother of Dragons Queen Daenerys Targaryen; Always Choose Hope Over Fear.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 320 ~Will You Be X~

First R.I.P. Grumpy Cat, I can be plenty grumpy too, but today I’m feeling pretty good because I’m getting over a few women that brought me down and then so many others that upped my word counts. Will You Be X.

Friday, May 17, 2019

Episode 320 ~Will You Be X~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now and treat women with dignity and respect. Hell My Lady I might as well become a Republican if that’s what I call all I do. So, for the record I’m Pro-Choice, and no man should be telling any woman what to do with her body. Then again, I am also a writer of fiction. In most of my stories and poems, that’s all I ever do. I tell women how to live but in real life?

Today was a good day. I got a text from this girl at the day job, guess what her name is? Anyway, I gave her my shift for Saturday. The start of my good fortune, but I didn’t make her do anything. I wrote she responded and it becomes law. While I was driving around later, I heard this song “Something Just Like This.” How it used to make me cringe because of you know who. Took me almost two years but I was able to listen to all of it. Of course, my day wouldn’t be complete without apologizing to a woman. This time it was my butterfingers and the death of Grumpy Cat. By ticking this woman off nearly ruined my whole day.

It didn’t though, but this also may explain why I say such horrible things about women or plan out fantasies. Three months I have to remember, but women make me out to be such a monster, and so you look at my characters. One took advantage of a drugged up woman. Another forced fourteen women into a deathmatch, and they get worse, but how much so. That is if I ever publish. I’m not looking for an ex-girlfriend Lady Sophia or an ex-wife. The truth is always women have served as an inspiration to me, and I’m not saying they’re better than men or lower. While equal sigh is a strange concept, it works right?

My life was once all about making women feel greater and in so doing brings me to this. I’m on the same level as vile men who would strip away life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness of them. In Living Single, Max said that Kyle didn’t want a girlfriend but a therapist that was good in bed. Listen to my problems and the like.

I respect women but always ask Will You Be X.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 316 ~There’s Power In The Dollar~

A “strange” man once rapped “no one man should have all that power” I swear if I were a rich man, sadly I might be a card-carrying member of the Republican Party because I know I want it all. There’s Power In The Dollar.

Monday, May 13, 2019

Episode 316 ~There’s Power In The Dollar~

Eighty-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now. I have to believe that and in my rule more than anything at this particular moment. As today’s affirmation was “Whatever It Takes,” and now I’m praying to be Jack Skellington asking, what have I done? I need to bounce back. The usual first thought when I realize my negativity is ahem Yes I Have A Million Dollars. Hell Madam Justice I spend two hours daily in my Spotify playlist Show Me The Money.

Which do I love more though, power or women, that is what brings me here today. The strength I don’t possess but the women I want. Now I know the things that money can do. Only like anybody walking the planet, I want more. Well, not the people that don’t know about pay but anyway This Is America. Now that small piece of paper might as well be an energy bar. When I think about it, video game health bars are usually green, blue, or gold. You’re going to have me sounding like Martin Lawrence in Boomerang in a minute. My GREEN bar has taken a significant hit, but it’s that blow making me not fear for my life but feel this life for once.

Not meaning I’m not afraid. I’m the greatest monster creator you’ve ever met ha. With enough money, I can let the beast out to play. Still, that’s what I started today. Though I came off more as ma’am, I want some more, please. Call it a lack of faith on my part Madam Justice that I don’t believe in money or I don’t have enough. Women will hate me for saying this, but they all have a price “Heartless Prince” by Stella Hart. I’m on constant repeat with this, but Money Can Make Anyone Beautiful. Could that be it, dear Madam Justice? I need enough money never to be invisible.

How many times have I said, with the right amount, I pay off my Olds and then tell my “father” I never want to see him ever again. What about paying girls not to imagine all the things I want to do to them or to pretend I’m someone else. No, I want to be that someone else. Only with sending in that money, I have to change and soon. There’s no choice but to LIVE The Impossible Dream because There’s Power In The Dollar.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 313 ~Willing A Bad Story~

One of my motivations talks about Becoming The Hero Of Your Own Story and to this day I still hear my mother saying, God is in control, or I could have imagined that like her reading to me or singing Simple Man. Willing A Bad Story

Friday, May 10, 2019

Episode 313 ~Willing A Bad Story~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and a damn good writer. Then again is there such a thing as a bad story? Lord of the Flies by William Golding, I heard it’s a classic, but I could never read it. How about Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, the word still creeps me out saying. Not to mention the story was longwinded and let’s say I was expecting something, different. Okay before you go calling the cops for my studies in DDLG, I tried reading the Bible too. Even got through a few books.

I’m not looking up the last book I crapped on. Still last night I was telling Dirty Diana about my “Red Dawn” fantasy. Decided to pass it on to the redheads over in Carson City, Nevada. Didn’t take long for one to say no flat-out. Speaking of beauties with red hair looks like I’ll be saving ten bucks on Patreon. The cosplayer is quitting. Of course, while I know this has nothing to do with me, I’m a selfish S.O.B. I have come up with a myriad of reasons this is my fault. So don’t want to attempt emailing the other girl in Nevada, scared to press MILF Dos. Busy complaining to “Indiana Gone.” My words have power Lady Sophia.

If I upset you don’t stress, never forget
That God isn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thang
~Ghetto Gospel Tupac Shakur~

Now imagine being hit with that kind of power bearing down for years “What’s My Age Again?” So like Peter Banning, you can imagine why I find it challenging to think happy thoughts. Let alone write any. There’s my “Dad,” the day job, and destruction. If anything I can write about desire and of course that centers on my dick (Language?). I read Dennis Hof’s book. I also look into novels of women being “dugout.” Well, not today because I was out cold. Don’t I usually write about my day? Only again the day job is nothing I want to remember. There is also a box of melted ice cream; some fucked up nonfiction (STOP}. Sigh the end of an era with the closing of one of my favorite restaurants.

I remember what Jessica Rabbit would say about her being “drawn.” Now could you only fathom her creator’s thoughts? If you want my own, you need only look up a Songbird’s Shame by Studio F.O.W. I’m not a bad writer. I don’t know how I got here. Only the story Lady Sophia the show goes on Willing A Bad Story.

Songbird’s Shame

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 229 ~Will, Nope, B’s Daddy~

Why so down on myself today, a failure at most things in my life but then the ball of fluff has turned fourteen, as the priest exclaimed art thou happy or as Michelle Branch sang, are you happy now, the odds of seeing her boobs? Will, Nope, B’s Daddy

Friday, February 15, 2019

Episode 229 ~Will, Nope, B’s Daddy~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, rewrite history, can I make math harder. Invest in bulletproof accessories sigh. The joys of education; my big three are not reading, writing and arithmetic though they should be. Only for me, it’s, stupid people, my looking stupid and honestly being stupid my dear Lady Sophia.

I got a taste of all three today but let’s start with the thought of using a pseudonym for my writing. I mean, all honesty it’s too late “Will’s Writings, Witticisms, And Wisdom.” Thank you Karen Marie Moning, Alessandra Torre, Pepper Winters, Ker Dukey, and K. Webster. What was I saying about reading, since I haven’t been doing much of it these days? As far as using a pseudonym for my novels? So people don’t know “what” I am, you can tell plenty about a man from his reading selections, Sir’s Salacious Studies? Now I’ve never read “The Circle” by Dave Eggers. (I saw the movie). Are there more depressing, dirtier, destructive words? Well, of course, there are though I’m still hesitant to say them because of my “great” name?

Because I’m a parent… I don’t think B III cares. He is getting too old for this “crap,” and so am I, but he still has his cute face. I still remember the day a man offered me $500.00, hell people have written checks of up to $900. I write again and again that Triple B IS MY SON and at the same time he protects me. Will can’t do anything but B III’s Daddy will do anything. My actions more than back that up which is one more reason I’m writing late. I know Lady Sophia, take responsibility like S Wolf, Todd Michaels, or Vladimir Nabokov. There’s a reason I forget male “sex” writers, but they’re braver than me.

Smarter considering what women can say about a man. In most of my stories, a woman ends up spreading her legs. Of course, I’m a breast man, and I want to write novels about this. Worse because how much did I pay the MILF again and now I want to join a Patreon only to see some girl’s boobs. A crime and I was thinking of the MILF, the Cosplayer, two of my friends are all victims of sexual crimes. Hence my “attraction.” Makes me sound horrible right, victim-hood and innocence being a turn on. The thing is none of these people hide, not even M. Night Shyamalan so why can’t I be me. People are stupid, I looked in the mirror and saw it, and I failed a Spanish class and French so, in English. Will is scary, Will is skeevy, and Will is Stupid; Will, Nope, B’s Daddy.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 222 ~Will Call You Later~

I use my phone for everything but calls, and when it does ring, it’s always bad news and when I have to call… well, I can’t say I’m any different, but there’s still tomorrow isn’t there but if I could call someone? Will Call You Later.

Friday, February 8, 2019

Episode 222 ~Will Call You Later~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, if all of my characters chipped in a dollar; well, probably more than that, and what about my “loves” and I am a little down on myself about losing “it” again thinking of one pretty lady in particular unlike the two in my blog last night.

As always there’s someone to call for stressing me out, whether intentional like my “father” or people that don’t know they’re doing it, like the man that came out to treat for termites. It’s my neighbors that I might have to wave to, and you know that I want children “two-legged ones” someday but that doesn’t mean I have a clue how to deal with them, I almost had a heart attack as B III’s leash got stuck on his collar. As for being trapped, the day job; it’s like being in room 1408 even if you leave, you never do, seven years of my life and that’s the thing, institutionalized maybe, what are my motivations always saying, when you want to “succeed” as much as you want that next breath, well there you go.

So I keep telling my characters that I’ll call them, today, maybe tomorrow, do you ever think that they could be out there and as a writer, a god you stop talking to them and what happens next. What about the Future Wife, Dirty Diana, whatever girl I was writing poetry about at any given time, remember my LSD Tirade with the Winx Club, before they got the black one? The fantasies, wealth, women, and the world will have to wait until I get up off my behind won’t they because in reality when the phone rings I either don’t pick up, dad, or the day job, what about the dumb spammers, one more worry.

Only I don’t worry about that man in the mirror that I’ve been staring at more and more since I caught sight of my teeth, sometimes I even forget I don’t want to answer anybody but especially not him. How about Triple B, when it’s not dark outside, and he’s ready to go out, five more minutes, another hour, one more day… no siblings, no mom, only a dad who’s ears are too filled with motivations, my promises, and monsters. Too many, I can’t hear the call of the man I should be, the woman that wants me, or whatever that force is I pray to, to protect my little boy but every now and again something does get through… maybe Will Call You Later.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 215 ~Forty, William To Will~

All it takes to motivate me, sleep, sex, or a speech and that also explains why I’m not writing, and at this rate, I’ll never make it to forty but then what’s my age again… does it matter to the man in the mirror? Forty, William To Will, but not yet.

Friday, February 1, 2019

Episode 215 ~Forty, William To Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, forget who you are; can’t say I have ever seen myself as an actor, I don’t use a pen name, I have nothing but respect for porn stars but “Willie Long Stroke” will probably never see the light of day, and B III is camera shy. We are who we choose to be, but the thing is I feel sort of like a transformer instead of one that should constantly “EVOL” if you spell that backward you get love but anyway it’s like every day I forget who I am to be either worse or what others expect and then you.

I need you to remind me of whoever; leave it to a man to want to know what he looks like through a woman’s eyes… in touch with his feminine side, someone said about Todd Chrisley. Make no mistake Lady Sophia, I would fuck the Hell out of Savannah Chrisley (watch your language) needed to get some manhood points back after this morning finally losing my “No Fap” streak after forty days. All it took was Court Carmody, my MILF pornstar, Savannah Chrisley, Ellen Page, and Sabrina Nichole; can’t say I’m not equal opportunity pervert.

A man can say more with a woman on his arm than anything but god I love writing, and so you ask me Lady Sophia why I’m not doing it more often, why don’t I FOCUS… hell, I need to write a list of words like that. No, I would rather listen, if you asked me did my father ever give me any sage advice then the answer is no, but I spend my days on Spotify getting MOTIVATED by Eric Thomas, Tom Bilyeu, Fearless Motivation. On Youtube I see videos of Greg Plitt, Will Smith; I read Dennis Hof and how I am trying to finish Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, never too old to stop learning, a plethora of dirty things made so dull.

Something I never want to be, BORING, AVERAGE, a TRYER and I’m possibly that much worse Lady Sophia but mostly I’m EXHAUSTED, and as the song goes, It Doesn’t Matter, but here we are having wasted another day. In a little more than five years I will be forty, and if I live that long I can’t only be Will, I refuse, but I see a better man slipping away daily, Forty, William To Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 208 ~Willing Of The Story~

The hero of your story, a motivation of mine mentions that but when’s the last time I wrote anything of value, and though I’m not reading such and such, some words that can’t be forgotten the man I was. “Willing Of The Story”

Friday, January 25, 2019

Episode 208 ~Willing Of The Story~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, now that’s a story I plan on hearing one of these days, how about writing, hell I want a movie deal, I even wrote a bit of a synopsis years ago, not for the money but more ghost in the machine, a twist on Love Machine. Not exactly an original tale, computers in love with girls or guys in love with computers, can’t say I even like the one in my head now… my brain, this morning I was reminded of the story that brought me back to my writing sadly.

Honestly, I don’t care to relive that tale, but ideas hit like that sometime; I’m sure I told you that books are potent weapons and what are we writers… arms dealers that fill up armories known as libraries. Authoritarian regimes that seek to rewrite the world in our image, that wish to rule so many souls, even if it is only the one within us, to burn the world to cinders and yet have a history of it. Almighty gods, all-powerful beings become both prince and pauper, at the end of ballpoint pens, chutes of paper, and the dick (Language yes I know) what inspires my wanton whims these days.

Villain am I none, or so I would like to believe, I didn’t fuck up at work (stop swearing), I didn’t waste another day away… a tossup between the MILF, “reading” Lolita, and watching Far Cry 5, and seeing the world descend into the Land Of Confusion. Will, the force of, the power of, iron and hell it’s not even my complete name, yeah I don’t feel so good, one of my olds is coming over and let me say that I have a case of the willies that I can’t shake for anything. XXX films aren’t helping but who says they can’t write a decent story, take erotica for example; what inspires a man to enslave the ideology, identities, and insanity of the world only to become a slave, senseless, sanity ridden, so and so in mere seconds truthfully?

That isn’t to say writers can’t be heroes, only can you call yourself that when you’re attempting to save yourself, yeah plenty of books help people, I had a self-help phase once upon a time, long forgotten unless you count my studies of Solanum. One more reason I’m a writer maybe, better to be on the cover than anywhere else because a long time ago ha I was a villain Sophia, Willing Of The Story.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 089 ~Will Say, Won’t Write~

Don’t make me say it when all I want to do is sleep or any other way I choose to waste time, and then I write about the simplest things because the fiction never leads to the dream or better the reality. Will Say, Won’t Write

Friday, September 28, 2018

Episode 089 ~Will Say, Won’t Write~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How to make One Million Dollars, sharing all my secrets might do the trick, but with one year and nearly three months there is still so much left to confess, let’s hope no one ever asks for an FBI investigation, but you don’t need politics to establish power. The power of a word if I have learned anything this week, so that makes me feel sort of sad on this quest of having one million dollars in a year, well eleven months.

September is a crappy month anyway, and you have probably guessed why but I don’t want to say the words; honestly, it hurts so damn much, but again this week others have shown the courage that I lack. Not that I’m a survivor of sexual assault, now multiple suicide attempts, where do I begin, sleeping pills, painkillers, starvation, dehydration, And The Beat Goes On. Somethings I would never say out loud that I don’t mind bleeding on the page, but as I have said before, there are such things that I continue to let poison me despite my fictional sins.

Take yesterday how I have said I’ll talk about my ravishment fantasy… I have liked bondage since I first discovered sex, but I was never one for ropes and leather… whips possibly and when I came to understand ravishment and that it could be done Safe, Sane, Consensual… Back to my suicide attempts, I never wrote a letter, and I thought I was somewhat lazy, but how do I explain why I would do such a thing, hell knowing my parents they would never reveal the letter or worse they would change it. At this stage in the game, I will never write my signature in one of my books; I won’t ever give some girl my room number in a five-star hotel, how about a proper NDA agreement maybe?

Excuses though, if only they were so hard to write then, I would have time for everything else, today though on top of that there was a shopping list, a budget, so many texts, and great to see that McDonald’s Quarter Pounder with Cheese is living up to the hype. You see Lady Sophia it is that type of small talk that infuriates me but I can’t speak the truth and all those things that I want to say, that I wish to make so real Will Say, Won’t Write.

I Will Have No Fear