Monday, June 22, 2026

Journey 356 ~B Let Down Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? You humans and time, but I’ll humor you, Dad. 5:23 PM

So this is one of those days when you wouldn’t even talk to me. Couch time, a book, or music- surprise, surprise. Of course, there have been a few changes. If you allow me, Dad:

“You’re down there, we’re up here! You walked into the wrong goddamn room, commander!”
―

The Rock? Up there, down there… I think I’ll leave you guessing… Better, let’s pretend.

Um, I’m lying right there beside you with my toy in your lap, as I feel like being a “Flake” today. Jack Johnson, ha? Like father, like son. Our tastes in movies and music, Dad.

Speaking of “Flake,” where is my brother right now? Higher than you, as he’s sleeping in the bed, and you came into the glow box room so that we could talk. Maybe he’s waiting for you to let him down…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Little Bitty Pretty One,” that’s Virgil. I’m kidding, Dad. I’d barked that I’m busting his balls, but my brother lost those before he met you. Again, kidding, but yeah, no balls…

That Thurston Harris tune was more for you than him. Trying to raise your spirits since everything else… No energy drinks, no eww moments as you leave me in time out and there doesn’t seem to be ENOUGH of anything. I know you’ll always see to Virgil as you saw to me. And there you go, down again. There’s no middle ground, my father.

Honestly, you’re Shooting The Moon, trying to, or picking up sh*t. Language, sorry Dad, but I am my father’s son. And I see my Dad falling, not flying, then fighting.

Every day, every moment, “You want… every… single second.” And I remember the look we shared after the mean lady brought me back to you. Trust me, Virgil isn’t missing much going to that pokey place. But when the mean lady brought me to you, and I wanted to bark “Sorry I let you down. Sorry it wasn’t quite true.” “I’m not alright, I’m not alright.” Funny I bark about falling and flying and use a Pilot Speed tune, Daddy.

However, it’s how you feel. Like you’re letting me down all over again. And I’m not going to give you the sh… Crap about doing a good thing. Good things are remembering me happily. You and my stepmom, eww. Staying Alive. B Let Down Virgil

“Do good things, lunch boy”
Dorian Newberry ― Disturbing Behavior

“Each man must face his appointed day
― The Aeneid

1968 Days Without B III, Day 1409 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Monday, June 15, 2026

Journey 349 ~Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good day? Seeing an all-too-familiar scene, I would say not. Are there differences?

I’d be at my post… Left side at the foot of the bed. “Staring at the world through my rearview.” Eyes in the back of my head, right, Dad? And my little brother? Bless Virgil.

Conked out on the right side at the foot of the bed. Dreaming his life away like father like son. Or maybe he understands something. I served you as best as I could—little princes.

I protected your outer world for the most part. Emotional, yeah. It’s one of the promises you told Virgil, and I’s potential future stepmom. “I Feel Everything.” Because with me.

Yeah, INDIFFERENCE you’re always saying. Those final days before I… Well, you were so mad. RAGE. And you wanted to keep me safe… From you…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You aren’t a monster. Definitely not MAGA. FDT! You’re “Just A Man,” “Human,” an “Ordinary Human.” More. You are my father, my Dad, my Old Man. Same for my bro.

And M Anime? Dad, I was a bachelor for life, but you promised Virgil a mom and me and siblings… Don’t need to know how they’re made, eww! But you chose her, and she chose you. And she sees what your “Princes of the Universe” do every single day, Dad.

But like us, you’re afraid of hurting her too. Do you remember that movie night when my favorite girl was here? Yeah, which one? Because she was the only one I ever just let in.

Yeah, I know after six months, being a hard ass.

You didn’t think twice about showing her that certain video you sent me out of the room for. “Of Inner …” Do you think you could share something like that with M Anime? That’s why it isn’t love yet… Because as strong as Virgil and I are. You worry, Dad.

You think 2-V needs to see a veterinarian soon. You worry that anything could happen.

And as much as my potential stepmom promises… I don’t think you’d need the gate to keep V and me away. But again, you fear her seeing everything. Hearing. Understanding.

What’s there to understand? Okay lots. You treat us with soft paws. You pause. Dad.

Papi… I don’t want to know. Why do you hate yourself? Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws

“Invincible, Impenetrable, Invisible no longer applied to me. I adopted three new things: Resurrection. Redemption. Resolution. All my life, I’d been a pawn. But not anymore. I was a provider, lover, father, and friend.”
Destroyed

“Unhappy boy, if you can break through cruel fate…”
Aeneid

1961 Days Without B III, Day 1402 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Monday, June 8, 2026

Journey 342 ~Plan-B To Step V~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Have you counted the steps yet? If you ever knew I’d sit down.

Just right in your lap, Dad. You know I hated sitting on the floor as much as you hated walking across it. And anytime you returned to me, you were exhausted, screaming “egad,” and had had enough of this life. So not one more step. You lay down, and I would watch from my spot. Not one fear, failure, or effing anything entered our sanctuary.

LANGUAGE! I hear you, Dad. But you know I had to bark loudly. You were Plan-A. And seeing how this world worked well… Plan-B. I have nothing but faith in you, Dad. And I don’t think Virgil and I’s potential stepmom will ever worry about Plan-B. She wants to give us siblings in the worst way. I mean eww, Dad!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

At least I don’t need to worry about her calling you Daddy. English, Braxton, and she speaks Spanish. All “Si, Papi”! But for my sake, let’s stop talking about you and her. She does know if you have a son, you’re naming him after me and making him… please, Dad.

What am I asking you for today? I figure today is as good a time as any, seeing M Anime.

Well, she asked you for a list of… Uh, uh, not going there again! But she asked you for something, and you got on your feet. How you hated that. But you got up working; and why you worry about the floor bursting beneath your feet, cans of bug spray, and going bust. That FEAR!

The GREAT FEAR! Well, it ain’t cannibalism. What would the potential stepmom think about that, Dad? “Well, don’t let me smell fear on you. Fear is for the enemy.” Daddy…

I swear sometimes “That B*tch” scares me. It’s why I know she’ll fight alongside you.

Honestly, LANGUAGE! You didn’t call her that. I did. You find the weirdest “people” to fall in love with you. I include myself in this. Eclectic, WOKE, DEI coalition, Daddy.

Always eff MAGA and FDT. Seriously, now I can bark it… (Gives you The Look). Anyway, I didn’t give you a “Death Sentence”. Stepmom didn’t give you a life sentence.

Like every word we speak, see, like steps. Dad, One Foot in Front of the Other. Plan-B To Step V

“And that’s why you’ll be leaving me soon. You’re too perfect for this world. Too precious. You’ll be called to somewhere much better than here.”
― Destroyed by Pepper Winters

“The way is open.”
Aeneid

1954 Days Without B III, Day 1395 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Monday, June 1, 2026

Journey 335 ~Don’t B ROMAN Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good day? It’s a hot one. If I were there or M Anime.

No Dad, I’m not going to rag on you about my little brother. Virgil and I are southern men. Southern men that you raised, fur and all. Sons of the great sorcerer Will, we know. The story that came up that you’re writing, or shadow work, our potential stepmom says.

How much longer will you keep thinking of her as such? This morning you and she were talking about having babies. Can’t say I remember meeting many—my aunt’s baby. However, you weren’t there during those times. Why? You’re you, right? I know you, Dad.

And I love you. Always and forever. A promise to me, my brother, Virgil Vivi. Who knows, you’ll be singing “Maybe someday. You and me can run away” to stepmom.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

All “Hey Juliet”! But you want her because of who she is. The woman that you see. Like you see me. Like you see Virgil. No a/c and all you care for him as you care for all of us

And why is that? I couldn’t live forever as much as we both wanted… But we’re working on that, aren’t we, my father… And when it comes to V and I’s stepmom, for real, Dad.

“I can do this all day.”
Steve Rogers, Captain America

You’d say that if you were only talking about her yabbos. And didn’t you say to her once upon a time… “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” As in your eyes, what is she, Dad? “If there’s somebody calling me on, She’s the one.” I share the sentiment.

Or I will someday about the woman you’ve chosen. The brother I was blessed with.

However, we are what we are, my father. For example, Virgil was a Roman Poet. There’s no changing that. Dante wrote of Virgil guiding him through Hell. My brother tries… Still, on days like today, he doesn’t like to roam far away from you. If he were more of a barker, he might belt out, ” I can’t stand “The Rain” against my window. “

Honestly, poor you. Dad, when will you see the man we all see? You’re everything.

EVERYTHING! But you like playing “The Seeker”. And if I had to pick out what you are to me. Again, we’ll both be Captain America. Stay. Don’t B ROMAN Virgil

What would hell be like? Would I survive more unhappiness?
― Destroyed by Pepper Winters

I sing of arms and of a man: his fate had made him fugitive
Aeneid

1947 Days Without B III, Day 1388 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Monday, May 25, 2026

Journey 328 ~B’s Not Far Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Last week, I barked out, “I Want Candy.” And now there’s ice cream. What, no song for that, Dad?

Well, there is one, but I’ll save that for you and M Anime. Virgil and I’s potential stepmom. Ice Cream by Tyga? For the record, Dad, eww. I guess I wouldn’t mind you keeping my bro and me at a distance. Plus, Tyga? White people are one thing, but cats?

Should I envy Virgil being so close to you, my father or not? How does the song go, “You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love?” So why are you so afraid of losing it, Dad? “It Ain’t Over, Dad. The “Hustle and Flow,” or me being as badass as Rambo.

Dad, if you knew how much I miss our movie nights. And I am never far away. I’m still there.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

How can I be both “Far and Away” and barking “I’m Still Here” all at the same time?

Reminds me of the days I was running around and you were chasing me, asking, “What’s in your mouth?” Another song or movie reference, as that’s all you seem to hear, Dad.

That and losing. A good boy, a gorgeous girl, and a great man. You’ll never lose me, father. And Virgil’s stepmom and I reached out to you. Dare I bark… “she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.” I’m don’t sound like The Beatles. But I could be your Paul McCartney and tell you the truth. Love is like the truth about The Matrix, “The answer is out there, (Dad,) and it’s looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.” I love…

You know this “I love you.” Virgil loves you, whether you want to believe it or not. M Anime says it, and the fact that you answered her so easily. I swear, Dad, as much as you write about a harem… And why? Why do you need so many to love you? Liz to Red:

“Do you need everyone to love you? Or am I enough?”
The Golden Army (2008)

Daddy, you’re so close to loving you? And with me on one side of the line and everything else on the other side. The other side! Honestly, what do you find across the finish line?

That’s why this is The Long Walk. There is no finish line. Do you love me, Virgil, stepmom enough to stay? B’s Not Far Virgil.

“To be close to another filled me with horror, not joy.”
― Destroyed, Pepper Winters

“This one alone has stirred my feelings and impressed my wavering mind.”
― The Aeneid

1940 Days Without B III, Day 1381 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son