Log 271 ~Content Of Will’s Characters~

Well, a whole week off from work, how am I feeling? I’m still basking in the glow of a finished project that’s written worse than the plumber, pizza man, and the professor, you see where this is going. Content Of Will’s Characters

Saturday, March 28, 2020

Log 271 ~Content Of Will’s Characters~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but people are a resource. Now I’m not Negan, and you know my ideas when it comes to people are vast, varied, and on some days are downright vicious. I’m the type of “man” that puts a value on everything, especially my inclinations of “charity.” For the most part, I donate to NaNoWriMo and helping dogs and cats. I’ll help a pretty girl, but of course, I want to see her without her clothes. You know I’m not opposed to paying for sex; I never have. I’ve paid if anything for the illusion of sex. Well, you’re asking yourself what brought this on? Buckle up Buttercup; we’re going for a ride.

What turns me on more than women? Show me the money? Yes, Lady Luna, it’s a pittance to the 1%, but $1,200 is what it is. While I seem to be full of quotes today, here’s another, if I were a rich man. I would do the same thing because I’m greedy, gluttonous, and somewhat of a god. Okay, too much? “I’m egotistical, I’m a narcissist, I’m a big deal.” So this leads me to my Novella, The Eve Of A Cherry. Didn’t I say I wasn’t going to change the title? Then again, Lady Lu, OFFICIAL SPOILER ALERT. I killed a pregnant girl, her lover, and her Mum, A fictional work to anyone working for the FBI. If you want some facts, how about being tempted to bribe Cherry again? I help women in trouble for a fee, and what does that make me indeed. I can go from Cherry to MILF Dos, Special K, M Anime, Court on Patreon after her story, that woman in the Walmart parking lot. I even got back a small donation. It came from this woman on Facebook. Yeah, I was looking to negotiate with her a bit.

You’ll never hear me say that I’m a good man Lady Lu. Every other day I talk about the characters I write not being good people. To make matters worse. What about the characters I don’t TAKE out, that TOOK the places of others, that get another TALE. For example, Airi Akitsuki, Ren Hasumi; do yourself a favor; don’t look them up. A reason I’m talking so early to you today is that I want to create a character compendium.

Doubtful because I’m back to Day One of you know what. Content Of Will’s Characters.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 301 ~Will Fight For Titles~

All I do is win when it comes to “Camp NaNoWriMo” and the only time I start buying new clothes with their emblem, my idea of a championship belt but when my wallet fat and my son has a diamond water bowl will I be the champion. Will Fight For Titles.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Episode 301 ~Will Fight For Titles~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, that’s the title you believe in with all your heart. That you’re a millionaire, you’re also a father to a fourteen-year-old furbaby. You’re a winner of Camp NaNoWriMo 2019, and recovering from addiction, lots of other things.

Today was touch and go I know it, writing an orgy scene. You found all those videos of Mariah Mallard a.k.a. Momokun. We can also talk about worse. Still, as always, positive vibes, happy days. Note you shouldn’t be fighting for the good times anyway. Money can make anyone beautiful. Only when you fight through these urges and do the work. Now I know you wanted to sleep way earlier, but you didn’t. Yeah, sitting in bed and one day you’ll have a pretty sweet young wifey to keep you distracted. Let’s say with different area codes. Your story also points out everything you want in life (short of getting arrested). Now when did redheads become the norm? You remember “DC” one look at her, and you were out for the count when it comes to brunettes. Okay, speaking of being KO’ed, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 019 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 026 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Write 11,900 Words For NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
    Failed
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
    Failed
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Five by Lily White
    Failed

Two out of six again but when you can write 50,000 words in less than a month. You somehow go to the day job, go shopping, keep yourself and B III alive. That’s what’s called fighting and if you can do all that you can win. One of your motivation says that you must be willing to die for the cause if need be. Only you still have more within you I know it. Even when you’re sitting at the top of the mountain, this ain’t over. Have enough cash, so you have to climb it. Enough words until your enemies grow silent. Enough flesh that you don’t have to beef with anybody if that makes any sense. Though how often are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 026 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Name My Novel And Write A Back Cover Of It
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Five by Lily White

Not gonna lie, it’s nice to see some titles disappear. I shouldn’t be a contender, potential, B plus player, a Facebook and Twitter banner or such. Will, you’re a winner today. So you deserve to enjoy that. The thing is with this list you have to go further, keep pushing yourself. Will I know I’ve been somewhat motivational, you’ll have books you need to start reading again for that. Remember, your winning if Triple B is full. Your wallet is getting fatter, and I know you Will Fight For Titles.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 294 ~Gee-whiz Or G Will~

Books make one smarter and rap music; not to give credence to any government study but I only listen to it when I’m angry, so I start each day feeling good, listening to my Show Me The Money playlist. Gee-whiz Or G Will

Sunday, April 21, 2019

Episode 294 ~Gee-whiz Or G Will~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, and you can be too. Just figured I’d get the ball rolling with my gratefulness. The extra ten dollars that you have in your wallet. How you’re back on track with Camp NaNoWriMo. Your creativity is at an all-time high right now.

You’re well on your way to that million, if you ask, believe. Again just yesterday the ball got rolling. You still have your wish list to start writing after Camp NaNoWriMo. Not saying you can’t start right now but turning white paper to green. It sounds a bit like alchemy, I think? Oh, look at you becoming a philosopher for as the song goes, “Money for nothin’, chicks for free.” Now ain’t that the dream, to be right here and the money flowing in. The would-be genius couldn’t get that done and are you going back to the G-Life. Between Money Affirmations, Motivations, and new musings. Only yes there are always those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 012 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 019 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Write 11,900 Words For NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
    Failed
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
    Failed
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Five by Lily White
    Failed

Two out of six seems appropriate. With your fixation on boobs, the two followers you lost, or the two days with the day job. Only let’s focus on boobs because that always leads to good things Ha. I can see you’re quite fixated on Hot Juicy Teacher a.k.a. Onna Kyoushi. Still Cherry has been somewhat of a welcome distraction along with the Cosplayer. So again the point is to get girls naked without spending money. However, you got to spend it to make it, and I’m still not a Republican. Being a pimp, however, makes one a G and more to the point I think G should stand for Good. Even considering what you do for a living. The difference between that kind of man and that life well if you conquer Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 019 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Write 11,900 Words For NaNoWriMo
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Five by Lily White

Any idea for the novel, well there is this wanting Alison and Will to run away forever the end. There’s an idea out of His Dark Materials. I mean spanning several books you have the Levitation Virus. The “Doorways,” and now you’re considering the Medusa Strain. Strange all your characters are either like you, wicked smart, or criminals. In one horrific way or another. No, you’re not exactly looking to be the hero. Now the money will come, and you’ll have the good life that’s for damn sure. You’ve been singing at work, and you don’t care what “THEY” all think Gee-whiz Or G Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 175 ~Good Morning, Evening, Goodnight~

No Eve on Christmas Eve so I suppose I only have myself to blame and yet more presents to buy than ever, even with free therapy sessions and that’s “good” right, more friends, more writing, more hope maybe. Good Morning, Evening, Goodnight.

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Lesson 175 ~Good Morning, Evening, Goodnight~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, I’m still not one for Etymology, but if there were a few words, I want to focus on today how about “good,” “Christmas” in particular “Eve” to be honest. How about depression, sorry if that’s my mood as of late, but I’m looking for a quick explanation rather than a manifesto or another full-blown novel, so yes no fear today.

Not like this morning; last night I had a nightmare that’s been echoing in my brain all day, something about me and one of my ex-bosses and going after them… hell, most days I spend my afternoons and evenings trying to forget. Was it a dream, some part reality, I’m sure I wasn’t in the office with Morris Chestnut telling me that my anger was going to get me into trouble. As much as I HATE my job, I still need it, and I’m working on Christmas Eve, only Christmas Eve the whole week which scares me, no fear, I keep forgetting, but I’m always awaiting the bad news truthfully.

What about good, mornings are never, afternoons, evenings, nights, all just spaces of time that are anything but “good,” most often “bad” but what do I classify as “good”? As far as Christmas, every year is even less Christmas than the last, any cookies, movies, music that I tuned out a long time ago, again a space of time that if anything makes me sad. What about Eve, a woman tempted who brought about the dark, no I’m not a theologian either, and I’m too lazy to look up the nuances of the word eve and speaking of lazy what about gifts… I make one lousy friend don’t you think?

Is there such a thing as a “good” patient though, with my depression you should be making a ton Lady Lu, and I will get to pay you to once everything is “good.” Now that is a word I need to define, how about joyful, happy, and then, of course, there is love which brings us back to “it’s the most “wonderful” time of the year” or maybe not, perhaps once upon a time right?

Back when I thought of myself as “good,” again when a sentiment such as good morning wasn’t a lie; when Christmas and or Eve was a time to be alive and not just another day before Good Morning, Evening, Goodnight.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 169 ~Picturing Hell Over Heaven~

Is it hot in here, or is it just me, turned on, angry, spending in time in Hell but I do know there is a Heaven out there somewhere, and I only need one more glimpse of such a place, just one. Picturing Hell Over Heaven.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Lesson 169 ~Picturing Hell Over Heaven~

To Will:
No Fear, you know who the monsters are, you’ve seen their faces, heard their words, they echo in your mind, and Hell is a mighty big place. I can see why you would want to stick around and as much as I want to sound like some televangelist, in honor of Carl Grimes R.I.P. Just Survive Somehow Will.

It’s so much simpler isn’t it, it’s getting to the point where it’s not the worst thing that frightens you but the best because at least for now, this moment you know you can survive. Who am I to tell you to picture a brighter tomorrow, the point is just to make it there and then the next day, and the day after and that is an achievement and I’m proud of you. Then how about our wants, we still live by the four I’s, Impossible, Immoral, Illegal, Insane because there is nothing that falls outside of those categories but that will be your goal this week, ask what if.

Usually, I want to tell you to be a good man, a better man than me and again you already are, you’ve resisted temptation, you’ve survived the most extended hours this week, and you’re not making life harder for yourself, no that’s my job. I’m sure I’ve told you not to look back but here’s the thing, just because we see Hell doesn’t mean we haven’t seen Heaven, we might not remember it and hoping for anything at this point sucks. I want you to imagine just for an instant, you walk into stores all the time and see happy couples, you pretend that you don’t hear the whispers, hell as if people bother to whisper. Even today you bought hot chocolate and since you don’t drink alcohol, isn’t that a return to such innocence?

Will I ask so much of you and I have yet to find that one real accomplishment that may become a good habit, I mean other than breathing and that’s becoming more difficult I know it. This week I just want a creature comfort, something good that you can claim, a want satisfied that won’t land you smack dab in Hell and requires more prep than a bit of ice cream or a Rice Krispy treat, pretty easy you think?

If you found yourself in Heaven not Hell what would it be what if we’re not Picturing Hell Over Heaven?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 105 ~Only Human After All~

Everything breathes and I know each breath as the song goes but no I don’t, I keep breathing and it seems each one breath just gets harder as the days go by, but I’m a man and not a monster, usually. Only Human After All

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Lesson 105 ~Only Human After All~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear but I did miss the hell out of you this past week and I wish I could remember most of it; should I go back to the old way, seeing as how I have yet to give the others any real form or substance? I could say that about myself, because isn’t it weird, you remember life but not how to live, and while you don’t remember how you survived, when you need to, you do it, without any hesitation.

If we’re talking about today, I made my bed, I can’t remember who said this but always start by making your bed, or walking Braxton depending on the day, yard work, the chores as usual. Can’t say I have much to be proud of this week other than I made money and I’m still here and that is what matters isn’t it, even if that is all there is. Have I been living the rules… I must admit I’ve retreated back to form either because of people’s idiocy and of course my own exhaustion really.

You ever stop to think, maybe that’s why the caveman never spoke or let’s say took the time to establish a language, considering every breath was so precious. It makes sense in the realm of monsters as well since zombies don’t breathe, neither do vampires, what about a few staples of monster movie “folklore” and other monsters are only beasts, so do they see breath the same way that we do, you know what I mean. Humans are the only ones that might think about it, like time, an animal breathes never knowing what breath might be their last, then again I know that animals treasure memories, while I forget.

This is what makes us worse Lady Lu, humans I mean, we anesthetize with anything and everything just to get by, I can tell you the last movie I watched, the last book I read, the last dumb decision that made me feel good but everything else is just dull or fear. Isn’t that why I’m keeping a journal and I don’t want to come back and read it, I only look to surviving tomorrow.

So what have I learned today, that I’m guilty and would be a worthy victim for John Kramer/The Jigsaw Killer, again with the pop culture Luna, Only Human After All?

Hear Me Out

Once upon a time I made a mom pretty “darn” angry, and it wasn’t my mom for once and I can’t say that this poem helped any. Hear Me Out, well to be fair I don’t even talk to my own mother or many people in my everyday life and still, I try to explain.

Hear me here
I wish you were dear
My girlfriend, my lover, or even a friend
So where do I begin
This isn’t the place
Or is this a waste?

Hear me there
Do you care?
What I have to say
I listen every day
… Okay, okay I’ll shut up
You’ve had enough

Hear me now
Better yet how
Freaking blocked me
You’re not listening
Or buying
Am I lying?

Hear me in
Is that a sin?
These screams
My dreams
Aren’t real
But you feel

What I am
Is not a good man?
Which I never cop to
But a fool
For freedom
So read on
Or don’t
You probably won’t

Hear me out
What I’m about
Sex and drugs
Death and blood
But to clock
And knock
Let me explain
Know my name
Am I too loud?
Just hear me out

Lesson 014 ~ Measure of a Man~

Just one “man’s” opinion and still I can only wish that it was a better one where it concerns myself but that’s life. Measure of a Man, I don’t know if I hear more “Rocky IV” or “Clay Aiken” but what separates men really

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Lesson 014 ~ Measure of a Man~

Afternoon My Lady Lu,
So is this how long my resolve is worth, less than two weeks since I broke yesterday but then again I’ve seen “40 Days and 40 Nights” and according to the Bible forty is a solid number which puts me in good company. Anyway you know since “the incident” I swore off some “stuff and things” and this being day two, I’m wondering am I becoming that same “man” again.

If you’re asking me right now, I truly don’t want to be, I’ve talked a lot about heroes and what it means to be a man… what it’s a big question don’t you think? I’m not kidding myself to say I’m there yet and one of the reasons is because of all I’ve been through in this life; I don’t think it’s enough. Now you can’t measure your problems again anyone else’s, even if it does make you feel just a little bit better that hey I’m not that guy.

“All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others”. – Animal Farm

The thing is Luna, most of the things that these men can put up with, I might not even have a chance, again why can’t I grow up and just do what needs to be done. When it comes to taking care of Braxton, I find that my anxiety, my fear has no place, so if I’m not a hero I’m at least better than the man I was. How about the time my brakes cut out on me and I crashed into that tree backward and instead of running to my “father” I somehow got to work and afterward got the car fixed up.

Okay maybe that was downright insane but what I’m thinking is some of the best leaders, the best among us are in truth, bad men. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty good men in the world, highly respected and that again goes into how you define the concept that we call manhood these days.

“You are a good man with a good heart, and it’s hard for a good man to be a king.” – Black Panther (Feb 2018)

I hope you don’t mind my somewhat philosophical chats but I present to you three questions, what do I take a man to be, how is man defined, and what is the difference between the good and the bad man.

I think a man is someone who looks out for his family… yes I know women do that too but to a man, his family comes first always, and that’s the man I want to be. Now my “father” is the same but I would never consider him a good man, he’s guilty of the greatest crime I know but that’s another story but he does look after his family. I talk about a man being a leader, a man that commands respect, not by force or terror but by sheer force of will, the man he is, the alpha male that I’ve read about.

“A good man draws a circle around himself and cares for those within. His woman, his children. Other men draw a larger circle and bring within their brothers and sisters. But some men have a great destiny. They must draw around themselves a circle that includes many, many more. Your father was one of those men. You must decide for yourself whether you are, as well.” – 10,000 BC (2008)

The text book definition of a man is a human male but then I look at myself all squirmy and fidgety and of course, that’s because of one part of my anatomy. I deny myself because a woman would choose to deny me, and while I am a man in the physical sense I would not be recognized as a good one for these feelings.

That’s the problem with society, the definition of men, in general, is constantly evolving or maybe devolving because men are being denied their birthright, their place in the universe, hell their right by God however you want to spin it. So men are made to feel bad or become bad purely on the grounds of such rejection and there are really some men that are honestly bad but because this world has become such they are all labeled. I say they because I’m so much worse, I’m one that sees it but I’m not willing to do anything, even when it comes to my own life, part of the problem.

“Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” Fight Club

Some men though choose to become greater and while it might not make them good men it makes them great in other areas and that is how they are measured.

How do they say “d**k measuring” but is that really fair and since men don’t really do that what are we comparing, a simpler time those cavemen days though I wouldn’t say that much fairer either? I read that men are always found to be wanting and that we must prove ourselves worthy of a woman, with the cavemen the best hunter got the woman, with the code of chivalry, came this concept of “courtly love” I actually followed once.

When we aren’t talking about women the caveman approach remains constant, men are forged in battle, and that is how you know a real one. Hell for all my years of fighting I’m still waiting for my turn, and sometimes I think to win or lose, stand or fall has to be better than this. In another way, being a man in one way makes me a bad one in another but that’s two different women in two different circumstances.

“Because only Spartan women give birth to real men!” 300

So why am I questioning my manhood today, I suppose because if I wanted a woman I could have one right now and while that sounds great, the ideas of what makes a man stops me. Last night there was this woman that got sloppy drunk and said she wanted me bad, so why have I never taken her up on that offer? Maybe it’s the fact that tomorrow I will lose all my bravado because I have to go to work and I will try to stand tall Luna but I will fail again.

Maybe that’s the lesson of today, a man falls and he gets up, now this could apply to everybody but as the song goes this is a man’s world. This is my world to quote another song and I’m the man right but what’s the Measure of a Man right?

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. 1929 – 1968