Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~

As badly as you want air, that’s one of my concerns, I’m always looking for a reason not to breathe, because sometimes that is the hardest thing to do; I want to give life to some many so no wonder I feel like I’m in outer space. “Take My Will Away.”

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~


Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, and “when” I do remind me not to blow it all on escorts, sex toys, porno, and erotica literature; money is one of many things that I need to keep my pants, but of course I blew it yesterday. You will have to excuse me if I do not feel that sexy besides fucking up “No Nut November” my son is sick but in recovery mode and is there anything sexier than the angels in my stories and not coming after four paws of fury.

My novel wasn’t exactly blowing me away last night, to be honest, but what happens, happens and somehow or another I’m going to have to capture a second wind, get ready for round two and even now I’m still up in more ways than one. The good thing about not talking so much is the fact that I’m not wasting air, hell Dirty Diana, a dominant’s rule is supposed to be absolute, thus providing more atmosphere for his submissive to perform her tasks and of course scream. Here’s another idea, why is it that the most beautiful things are meant to take your breath away, to give life to them, a feeling of paradise, and let’s say love isn’t exactly known to make people smarter, gibberish writing am I right?

Somehow those people can locate some part of Heaven, something much more significant than themselves and again gives life to those that take their breath away for a moment in time. I already told you before, I’m not feeling sexy time, but I’m writing as always to provide a future, my son needs that, he took my breath away the day he came to be in my world. Has any woman done that lately, for a release here or there my breath has caught in my throat; my son loves life, and he was trying to find fresh air, scary.

I need to give breath to so many things, but it’s getting harder to catch at least one for myself, and maybe that’s because like in American Beauty, there’s so much beauty in the world or stupidity, thinking with the little head instead of the big one. The little one has been getting far too much these last two days, giving into such lusts when what I love is threatened; love Take My Will Away.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 128 ~Love Is Worth Dying For~

Even if I’m not worthy of it I can still do such a thing, which is possibly the worst thing that I can do, of course, I’m talking about love and I might as well start digging right now. Love Is Worth Dying For, how many women have left me breathless

Monday, November 6, 2017

Lesson 128 ~Love Is Worth Dying For~

Fifth Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear when love is all you need, talk about wanting a lie to become the truth if enough people believe it. Hate is easy enough to find, it starts from within but love, hell again I would like to believe love is everywhere but it’s in invisible, like air.

Love is also way more exhausting, I love my dog, so I have a day job, I love myself and so I write but also I hate plenty so both love and hate lead me to the same place. As you can already tell, I’m not the right person to talk about love, as a matter of fact, I doubt there is a right “person” at all, or if so I haven’t found her yet. I probably really would die if I ever did because while a person is supposed to love who you are, we want to be better.

If anything love is the ultimate fuck off to self because when you love it can’t be about you, everything you are becomes about someone else, you are indeed prepared to die but that someone that something has to be prepared to do the same, no even greater and so you rise as well. That’s something that “grinds my gears” as Peter Griffin would say, people who just love everything and whatever it is they love isn’t giving anything back to them to be sure. Is it strange that I consider Love a holy word, a magic word, a word not to be taken likely because when I love, I give all of myself and nobody ever taught me such a thing, and just to be clear I don’t even love myself, I’m still alive?

I’m still alive because of my hate, my wrath has no bounds, and nobody has ever wanted my love, because what could that possibly mean to them? The one thing on this Earth I truly love is incapable of ever saying the word and he doesn’t ever have to really.

So I will wait because I don’t know what else I can do don’t you “love” how I keep going back to songs; I can’t go looking for love… okay, I swear I’ll stop now with the music. I do believe though, just as much as I hate this next breath, I’d love to believe Love Is Worth Dying For.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 105 ~Only Human After All~

Everything breathes and I know each breath as the song goes but no I don’t, I keep breathing and it seems each one breath just gets harder as the days go by, but I’m a man and not a monster, usually. Only Human After All

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Lesson 105 ~Only Human After All~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear but I did miss the hell out of you this past week and I wish I could remember most of it; should I go back to the old way, seeing as how I have yet to give the others any real form or substance? I could say that about myself, because isn’t it weird, you remember life but not how to live, and while you don’t remember how you survived, when you need to, you do it, without any hesitation.

If we’re talking about today, I made my bed, I can’t remember who said this but always start by making your bed, or walking Braxton depending on the day, yard work, the chores as usual. Can’t say I have much to be proud of this week other than I made money and I’m still here and that is what matters isn’t it, even if that is all there is. Have I been living the rules… I must admit I’ve retreated back to form either because of people’s idiocy and of course my own exhaustion really.

You ever stop to think, maybe that’s why the caveman never spoke or let’s say took the time to establish a language, considering every breath was so precious. It makes sense in the realm of monsters as well since zombies don’t breathe, neither do vampires, what about a few staples of monster movie “folklore” and other monsters are only beasts, so do they see breath the same way that we do, you know what I mean. Humans are the only ones that might think about it, like time, an animal breathes never knowing what breath might be their last, then again I know that animals treasure memories, while I forget.

This is what makes us worse Lady Lu, humans I mean, we anesthetize with anything and everything just to get by, I can tell you the last movie I watched, the last book I read, the last dumb decision that made me feel good but everything else is just dull or fear. Isn’t that why I’m keeping a journal and I don’t want to come back and read it, I only look to surviving tomorrow.

So what have I learned today, that I’m guilty and would be a worthy victim for John Kramer/The Jigsaw Killer, again with the pop culture Luna, Only Human After All?

Fresh Fear

They don’t know they’re gone die… cows I mean, indeed all animals, hell neither do I and yet I know the fear of death. Fresh Fear; it seems like every day I find something new to be afraid of and one day I will be devoured, and when the time comes I’ll be…

Fresh, alive, me
After last night’s dream
More like a nightmare, you see

Born of my indiscretion

On my way to the slaughterhouse
To be a mouse
How I denounce

This heart’s beating
There is no entreating
The end I’m meeting

I’m already burning
With the blades turning
Already hurting

Misery and strife
I’ll fry
But first the knife

Better to rot
At least it would stop
Wouldn’t be on top

Those carrion crows
Who would know?
Where could I go?

It’s not fair
Being so scared

Is there atonement?

Should I treasure?

I don’t want to die
Or hide
Not even survive

Another breath to give
To live
Don’t think I ever did

Fear is all
As my flesh crawls

Copyright © 2012, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

A Wind Is a Wind

Air is for breathing, I breathe to live and some take a breath to talk and I think they are actually getting the better part of it to be honest. A Wind Is a Wind I would say I shouldn’t talk anymore but I would say type either and yet we’re here

And don’t waste your breath on I don’t care
If you have to take another gulp of air
Why don’t you ask God where he’s been?
Still, I have nothing to say to him
Is there a God.com
for I would surely profane

every sin to the wind
Never said them out loud anyway
How my dad talks to my mom
because I could never cause such pain
So why did I share
Tell me why do I dare

A push of a button is an atom bomb
When a man decides he has no brain
I choose to become one of them
Failing today
But of course, life’s not fair
Don’t I see the man standing there?

Quasimodo never looked so grim
I’d burn my shadow where I lay
alone if only to spare
one more person that awkward affair
of being my friend and disturbing the calm
I’m not a hurricane

No, I’m the sitcom
that you find skeevy, inappropriate and lame
only I can’t be saved or repaired
My anxiety you stare
Sorry and I’ll say it again
Better I’ll blow away

Copyright © 2017 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.