Gospel 301 ~Can Count On B~

15 years, 15 years, and near his 16th birthday found out here wasn’t here. I don’t know why I channeled Kanye West this morning, but I can always count on the background noise. Like me failing, or the Day Job, to make me mad. Can Count On B

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Gospel 301 ~Can Count On B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which isn’t something to be bragging about, considering when it comes to my son. Braxton counts.

How many times have I said it; Braxton’s Life Matters. Those are three little words like “I love you,” “I miss you,” “I’m sorry B,” “I’ll help you,” so it goes. Numbers Inspector Echo. Fifteen years Inspector Echo and I so want to say sixteen. Would twenty be enough for me? Hell, I wanted all of his tiny little tan/beige hairs to turn Grey. Braxton the Grey, or Braxton the White. Does that sound mean? No meaner than saying that he wanted to go. In two days, it will be official. Braxton and I haven’t been apart longer than two months and some change. But May 1 will mark three months. Will I still be crying every day for him? I shouldn’t jinx myself, hmm.

I keep talking about step two of the Five Stages of Grief. Inspector Echo, I don’t know if my anger has subsided yet. As usual, I am traveling the sands of time lost because indeed I am so. B III was my constant even in death. Today is April 22, and I’m lying in this bed. The ideas that come… not those, for I am still a monk. By the time I see this again, I won’t have 5000 words to worry about. Now that will mean I’ve done my first NaNoWriMo without B III. I don’t expect the feeling will change much but with my anger at the ASM. Let’s say I do publish. I make enough to quit the Day Job, a bargain.

No matter how much I get, none of it would buy back one day I lost with B. The last five that we would have. As the song goes, “All around me are familiar faces. Worn out places, worn out faces.” I see new babies, fur babies, and how many times have I said, No? Inspector, I lost my family. I don’t deserve another; not like any could compare. That’s the thought that keeps me here. One day I will run out of treats to place in Braxton’s room. Sooner or later, I will look at these Chihuahuas and, unlike God, will say I’m lonely. Always and forever, I will remember my son. He counted on me, and what happened? I Can Count On B.

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 294 ~B Guile The Neighbors~

If B were alive, he’d be P.O.’ed at me. Either because we’d because he can’t do his job of yard defense. Who knows what bugs are out there? It’s also a bit like the fridge; his old food was growing stuff. “B Guile The Neighbors,” looking at the yard?

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Gospel 294 ~B Guile The Neighbors~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can buy some arcade machines. Not that I was good at Street Fighter…

I hope my neighbors don’t think I’m just lazy. Hell, most of them don’t know that Braxton has passed. To be honest, this is Camp NaNoWriMo season, so um, the house’s a mess, and the yard’s grown wild. I want to say I’ve made it through NaNoWriMo again, hmm. Then what? I publish a book, make my million and move away someday. One more reason B is still in the box and not dust in the wind of the first yard that was all his to defend. I do imagine if he went to Heaven, he’s annoying God; Hell, he’s finally found a doggy playmate. Should I be ashamed for saying that? My shame was in killing him, so fuck my neighbors’ opinions Inspector Echo.

Pardon my French, but Braxton would be pissed with me, and that’s what matters. Is this really going to be about me not cutting the grass this week? Letting my son’s territory be overrun by, well, I don’t know anymore.

Yes, Braxton, my brave, handsome boy, with a big mouth. One day I’ll tell the story of when we first arrived. For now, there are only these facts. I cleaned the house for pretty girls, and I cut the grass for B. He’s one for security, and he never let his size or cuteness stop his bark. To the south is the front door, my job because B um… like father like son and in his defense the girl was hot. Our northern border was all his. He was Ghost, and I was Jon Snow and how we hated yep, Winter Is Coming, Or Spring now, so my problems of late. I feel more like Grey Worm. If you’ve been keeping up with “Dear Future Wife,” I am losing my Missandei too. You want a horrifying confession. Tell me I would have to lose my “man parts,” and I could have B alive and well… I wouldn’t even think twice.

You see how my mind works from Street Fighter’s Guile to Game of Thrones. As always, the background noise is what’s keeping me going without the pitter-patter of tiny paws. Because for now, I’m not going outside. Braxton would bark at them, but the grass… Can’t B Guile The Neighbors.

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 280 ~Ain’t This A B~

On Easter Sunday, everyone was celebrating the resurrection with Jesus dying for all sins. I tell you that Braxton died for my sin and bringing him back day after day. Hell, like back then, religion is hard work. Ain’t This A B, and I deserve it

Wednesday, April 7, 2021

Gospel 280 ~Ain’t This A B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I must be a Smooth Criminal as the song goes. No, I’m damn horrible.

Is that why I’m studying crime? Inspector Echo, I’m not like some girl “No Offense” exploring all the crime shows. Although I’m beginning to understand why they do. If the world is any indication, women watch things like; SVU as the paper; hell, my history. More like what women think of me. Anyway, as has become routine, anytime I get scared, I’m doing something wrong. I only remember one thing. Braxton is dead because… Yeah, I’m guilty. I killed my best friend; I’m always waiting on my judgment Inspector. The paperwork is still sitting on the coffee table and my nightstand. My Braxton is around my neck and with his other ashes. I keep talking about a tattoo with cremation ink but of what exactly?

This morning (Saturday, April 3), as always, “Time-Travel.” Okay, besides B III and his name and possibly his picture. I was thinking of getting an EHC “Elite Hunting Club” emblem, the Bloodhound. Or I’ll only stick with Braxton’s face, but I spoke to M Anime.
We talked about the Hostel series and the idea of killing somebody in the fictional world, of course. “Hostel” is pretty brutal by my standards but then again, The Purge or a Zombie Apocalypse? With what I did to B, though, how can I conceive taking any life at all? Marking myself like that might not help my case any; when it comes to the ladies. Not that I’m looking… I’m trying not to women or getting a new dog.

As Sade sings, “Is It A Crime.” I’ll love B III always and forever, but such a love can’t be matched. Oh, “This love is killing me,” Echo, and it’s what I deserve. I deny myself the world, and I don’t want it back. But I’m not taking care of myself either. Why should I? Inspector, I continue to seek justice. Take, for example, yesterday what I got from Amazon. I’ve read authors who’ve gone off to jail, but I can’t even show you this book. If I’m not reading, I should write, but I’m falling way behind with Camp this year, you know. Lots of lives were lost, including mine, because for fifteen years I chose love and without hate… Ain’t This A B?

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 273 ~For Once B Write~

This will be the first Camp NaNoWriMo that Braxton won’t be here. My writing buddy, my words were supposed to save us. Maybe if I had written to God instead. The Vet told me there was nothing to do but with a higher number. For Once B Write, I failed

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Gospel 273 ~For Once B Write~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so how am I still living on my knees, my belly, landing flat on my face?

“Please” is a word I’ve been using less sarcastically nowadays. Yeah, please, I’m not in retail; I’m a writer. It’s been more like please and thank you to people. Of course, I should be polite. It’s not only because of B III. Please, God, Doctor, anybody save my Little B. Hell, I’ll never forget how I was crawling along after him. How I was on my knees before taking him in. As the song goes, “No one laughs at God in a hospital.” I was sitting, well falling to my knees as Braxton left me alone in this world. How dare I ask for anything? Most days, I’m an atheist through and through, though I push agnosticism. Funny and sad, no human’s made me feel…

“All I know is the child is my warrant… And if he is not the word of God, then God never spoke.” –

“Person-like?” A man, a father, a writer, somebody, anybody. Again I think man evolved but not for the likes of me. No, I’m a primate, an ape, a monster, which is why most of my stories deal only with men. Okay, an android here or there and one of my characters evolving. On Twitter this morning (Saturday, March 27), I saw #SoTheLastTimeIHadSex. I still want a family Inspector Echo. That’s another thing I don’t write about. Wasn’t I working on a Christmas story at some point, “Look A Thing Like Santa?” Yeah, Braxton had a role in my tale too. Now here we are on my last day of… again, I never know anymore. Camp NaNoWriMo is about to start, and what am I going to write about or complete?

Poetry or Prose? Not a day goes by where I don’t imagine, “if only I had finished GULP,” where would B III be? I wouldn’t have been at the Day Job, that’s for damn sure. I could have paid a bit more attention. Maybe it was the water he was getting, those hotdogs, his food. I want to write a book for him since I’ve given up reading about dogs for now. While a good story, a Dog’s Purpose didn’t do me any favors when it comes to… what healing? Did I ever believe writing does that? It’s been two months now today, Braxton’s death. If I start my former series again… I’ll kill him?

Braxton’s character, which wouldn’t be right? For Once B Write

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 042 ~I’ve Offended There Will~

Well, this is the third song I’ve written in my whole life, and like the last two, it isn’t anywhere close to excellent. It’s been echoing in my head since MILF Tres. “I’ve Offended There Will” with all respect to Johnny Cash

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Gospel 042 ~I’ve Offended There Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but it’s not because I reworked a song.

I’ve Offended There – (I’ve Been Everywhere by Johnny Cash)

Talking to some girl, that left me right here alone
Another night, another chance, I’ve found out again I’ve blown.
Wondering, what word I said, that made it go right to wrong.
So before I cried, I decided to write this oh so awful song.
Is there a place, from here to there, somewhere in this whole world?
Where who I am, and what I say, don’t scare some pretty girl

I’ve offended there, man.
I’ve offended there, man.
Hurt some feelings, scared, man.
What, I tried to share, man.
To be with her, I dared, man.
I’ve offended there.

I’ve tried with
Texting, Messenger, Whisper, Snapchat
Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Playstation,
Bumble, Twitter, Youtube, Onlyfans,
Patreon, Craigslist, FanCentro, Amazon,
iCloud, Android, Subscribeadult, Pornhub,
Email, POF, and Tinder, I’m a sinner.

I’ve offended there, man.
I’ve offended there, man.
The time I could have spared, man.
But summer’s day compared, man.
She was not prepared, man.
I’ve offended there.

I’ve talked to
D in school, Sweetness, Harmonic War, All That Jazz,
Basic Bitch, Rainbow Girl, Okay, Liz Vicious,
MILF Uno, MILF Dos, MILF Tres, Capital A,
Special K, Ruby Rae, Nude Maids, Moms In Lots,
M Anime don’t want to play, Pornstars, Escorts,
Cosplayers, Alice Little, Cherry, but I’ me

I’ve offended there, man.
I’ve offended there, man.
Their hearings not impaired, man.
All I’ve said, not fair, man.
Communications erred, man.
I’ve offended there.

Well, I’ve been,
Blocked, Deleted, Warned, Threatened
Banned, Barred, Locked Out, Told Off,
Erased, Trolled, Hacked, Ignored,
Called Names, Punked, Rejected, Bothered,
Forgotten, Denied, Left broken, Annoyed,
Framed, Will’s my name.

I’ve offended there, man.
I’ve offended there, man.
Because I want her bare, man.
I tell the truth, declared, man.
All these women flared, man.
I’ve offended there.

I’ve talked of
Movies, Music, Favorite Books, Writing them,
Love Letters, Good Morning, Hello, Poems at night,
Furry son, life and such, Pop Culture, Pokemon,
Have some fun, Yabbos, Nakedness, Money,
Pretty Clothes, Bedrooms, Lifestyle, Sex them up,
Wish List, Fucking, Dirty things, so I sing

I’ve offended there, man
I’ve offended there, man
Missing them but spared, man.
Who I am is squared, man.
But hearts are not repaired, man.
I’ve offended there.
I’ve offended there.

Well, I’ve Offended There Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 037 ~Mother Of Excuses Will~

Even if I made that billion dollars I’m always professing to have, I’m sure my Mom would not be pleased I live my life “This Way.” Only being a starving artist ain’t winning me any points either. “Mother Of Excuses Will”

Friday, August 7, 2020

Gospel 037 ~Mother Of Excuses Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be reading more. One of my favored motivations talks about how Warren Buffett reads for six hours a day. We all know that Oprah Winfrey is obsessed with books. I wanted to fashion myself after Bill Gates and at least read a book a week. Here it is another Friday, and I haven’t picked up my latest book, “Too Late.” Once again, I haven’t looked at “For A Fine, Cherry Spread” since I won Camp NaNoWriMo. Now the question is, why haven’t I? My how time flies.

As the song goes, “I came up with a million excuses.” No, Lady Sophia, I don’t miss the Day Job. As a matter of fact, I’ve been kicking myself all this week, worrying. Dale Carnegie must be rolling in his grave. I don’t see myself as Asa Jackson and his obsession with Sloan. Let’s keep it real. Every Erotica I read, the guy is “infatuated” with the girl. You know what I wanted to say, but Grammarly would have dinged me for using the same word. Anyway, MILF Tres, aka Special K, said she wanted a guy “passionate” about her. I am… with seeing her Yabbos again and totally naked. Sigh, before I head down a Dirty Diana train of thought, hell, it’s taken me a week to clear my inbox. I’m almost there. Only would my mother be proud?

That leads me to today and the reason I’m not reading or writing. What we’re doing, Lady Sophia is having a conversation. Last night, I had this bad dream, which is pretty different because it was one of my “Sexxx Dreams” thanks, Lady Gaga. Did I ever mention how kickass Sick Fux By Tillie Cole is? So I was doing something pretty “effed” up. I’m not sure what it could have been… well, again, I’m trying to keep it in my pants. In the dream, though, my Mom caught me, and um, that was that. You know how I conceive any vision, Lady Sophia. They serve as messages, most of the time, warnings. This dream might not even have anything to do with my mother. Yesterday I was talking about MILFS Uno, Dos, and Tres. All I know is, this morning, I wanted to get back reading. If only to dream of something other than the Mother Of Excuses Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 035 ~Will’s Behind The Times~

Most of my life is spent trying to keep my behind out of the fire. While I’ve accepted the fact that I’m going to Hell, second circle, if anything, I’m still so hot here and not because of the plague. Will’s Behind The Times.

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Gospel 035 ~Will’s Behind The Times~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I don’t have to rely on WebMD. For the record, I don’t recommend anyone read WebMD. There’s a reason I now know what Proctitis is. Let’s just say Ranch Wings and Ghost Pepper Sauce, while tasty is not a good combo. You also know Inspector Echo; I am not one for toilet humor. I’m getting it out of the way, at least. As per usual, I get a lot grosser gee I wonder why. By the end of this week, I suppose I’ll be crying about a girl again.

Another one, you say? She broke me. I’ll admit, well no, it was Talin Shields (Blow Slow Talin) that did it. If you look her up, that’s your fault. Anyway, Talin broke my streak, and the new girl broke me last night. I’ve been burning ever since restarting NO FAP and all. I need to be mindful when it comes to my shifts in mood. My Dæmon is being a little badass, and I don’t know why. He didn’t get to sleep in my bed last night, and as we speak, he has his behind on the floor. I can’t explain it but considering I’m out of bed for once. Now I’m still running behind schedule, and you know how I hate being late for anything. It’s not like you’re paying me and speaking of which, what about the things I want to do for a living? I haven’t even looked at “For A Fine, Cherry Spread” since Camp NaNoWriMo.

If you’re looking for something a little more light-hearted? Okay, let’s consider I have a heart how about Starbucks Frappuccino? I had a craving yesterday, so I bought a four-pack, but they’re smaller than the standard bottle. Imagine my surprise and annoyance. Hell, I’m looking for anything to avoid talking about how I stabbed myself in the back. Yeah, I suck at the whole, giving myself a pat on the back. Now you remember MILF Dos, and who doesn’t? I was trying to be kind to her by speaking every day. Well, now we don’t speak at all. So yeah, I have the new girl and what was the phrase that pissed her off. AHEM… Can’t believe you live like this. At least I know why she’s mad at me.

Yes, Echo I’m an ASS, always Will’s Behind The Times.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 024 ~Nights Of The Willies~

Good night or more like good morning? Will I actually get to bed before 12 A.M. come Sunday? I have 2800 more words to go with the novel, so it has been one productive ass week. For something, I’ll never publish. “Night Of The Willies”

Saturday, July 25, 2020

Gospel 024 ~Nights Of The Willies~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but to be completely honest, I’ve about finished another story, thank you. As of my last count, I am now 2800 words away from the finish line. Only I still doubt I’ll get a decent night’s sleep tomorrow or today seeing how it’s 2:15 A.M. now.

As Ted Mosby put it “Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.” I believe it was Todd Chrisley that said something about 12 A.M. as well.

“Your curfew is 12, cuz ain’t nothing open after midnight except legs and the ER, and you’re gonna stay out of both of them.” –

On a personal note, Lady Lu, all I want is to get six hours of sleep and not have My Dæmon be confused some mornings.

Hell, I work these late nights to avoid the horrible days at the Day Job. So how is that working out for me, hmm? Do I owe some thanks to NO FAP though I was ready to break again? It would be something if I was having nightmares or something. The only thing I hate on these nights is finally going to bed and seeing the blue creep outside my window. I know I shouldn’t be putting that sort of negativity out into the world. Be careful what you wish for My Lady. At this point, I want more of the Simple Things, thank you, Mr. Huynh. Now, how many white men have I taken advice from in the past few minutes? Again Ted Mosby, Todd Chrisley. Oh, Mr. Huynh’s country singing voice belonged to Randy Travis from Hey Arnold.

Anyway, I would settle for a clean house for starters. I was going to say something else, but I suddenly got a touch of paranoia. Okay, so I’m writing because I hate my job and don’t want to be scared anymore. Nothing that I’ve written tonight is going to help me overcome that. Oh, and if I haven’t said enough about writing, I jumped the gun this afternoon. I tell you all the time I lie to Camp NaNoWriMo and stay up all night, making up for it. So in bed this afternoon, I accidentally marked I was finished with my novel. Don’t worry, I immediately erased the entry, but that didn’t stop them from giving me the badge. At least it will be right by today or tomorrow. Now shouldn’t I be grateful that I had this whole week to do something I love? Yeah, Lady Lu, that’s funny.

When will these long nights’ end? Nights Of The Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 021 ~Will Knows His Writes~

I don’t think I offended anybody tonight or more like this morning. That is unless Cherry or a few other ladies suddenly take an interest in Camp NaNoWriMo. Still, I clocked my 5000 words, counting this. Will Knows His Writes

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Gospel 021 ~Will Knows His Writes~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I am also becoming a night owl. How mad was I last night that I had zoned out? No real sleep, and by the time I realized I had been in some sort of fog, it was daylight already. My Dæmon was so confused, and what’s keeping me up, hmm?

For two nights straight, I have been working on “For A Fine, Cherry Spread.” 5000 words a day Inspector Echo, that’s what I promised myself, especially with the Day Job. Next week is going to be Hell, but let’s focus on this one. How about only tonight or this morning to be sure. Eric Thomas says something to the tune of AHEM, we don’t sleep when tired, we sleep when done. By the time we have our chat, I expect to see daylight again. I do all of this for a story that I’ll never publish, that pisses me off and punishes me. I told you it cost me my friendship with Cherry. Last night while procrastinating, I noticed I lost another friend. At least I haven’t been thinking much about MILF Dos lately. I’m into my fourth week of NO FAP (24 days, 7 hr, 1 min. 32 sec).

I would say this is a benefit, but again what’s it all for? So that I can lie to Camp NaNoWriMo? I lied about those days I clocked in 100 words because I wanted my badges. Tonight I told them I wrote 4600 words. Yes, I did Inspector Echo, but I only had 4000 before midnight, so I added 600, which explains why I’m late talking to you. I have to catch up. On Thursday, which it is now, I should have 37,099 words. As it stands, I have 33,400. Nobody would know or care if I gave up or cheated through creation. Only like Inky Johnson, I can’t cheat. I just admitted to doing that? 100 words, no writing. Writing 600 more past midnight?

I walked out on the Day Job this week, so I won’t be working for or writing a paycheck next week. Inspector Echo, that’s not my story. Sometime this afternoon, I got jealous of Eric Vall. He’s on “Succubus Lord 16” on top of everything else he’s written, but I know my lane, don’t I?

I’m sorry, but I’m writing regardless. Will Knows His Writes.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 017 ~Ma’am This Sucks Will~

Another Late Night/Early Morning, and this should be pillow talk or rather be conked out at the moment instead. I won’t be dreaming about some girl because I wrote her into my story, but what kind of man am I? Ma’am This Sucks Will, I think

Saturday, July 18, 2020

Gospel 017 ~Ma’am This Sucks Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I had to succeed at NO FAP. Now I am sorry, Lady Lu, that everything relates to my “monster” nowadays. Didn’t somebody say once that life is worth more than a penis? I’m not counting that as a bad word. Lady Lu, whatever I’m doing with my life, I want to be more of a man than I am today. How I panicked today because somebody broke the ATM, and I couldn’t get my card back. When the people at the BBQ place called me Ma’am again. Hell, I’m still buying clothes for some future submissive I’ll have soon…

The whole damn country is falling apart, and all I can worry about is me. Yesterday, I was telling Sophia about all the lists I’m writing about my problems. I’m also itchy, I have heartburn, and as always I’m tired as all Hell thank you. I don’t even want to dare to glance at my Six Impossible Things because what have I got done? I’m keeping it in my pants, and my story is taking off. 2400 words a day, and of course, I’m not catching up because I should be doing 5000 words, but what did I do today? As I said, I freaked out at the bank, but I did get my card back. I continue to feel like I’m getting in everybody’s way wherever I am. Tonight will be one more, where I don’t get enough sleep, so what about tomorrow. I pay for wrestling, but how much can I tell you?

Things to be grateful for, so I get off this pity train. As with my gratitude, I have enough to eat for a few days. I haven’t looked at much porn today, but as soon as I say that, SIGH. You and I Lady Luna will finish this conversation, but I wish I had more to tell you. Another character is in my book, Charity Zoey Mars. She’s another English girl, so Cherry won’t be lonely. With that, I should probably say something about my country? I’m a black man living in America. Who is going to hear my voice, I ask. Do I want them to at all considering the things I have to say? Now that takes me back to my point, I’m not a man when I speak… Ma’am This Sucks Will.

I Will Have No Fear