Tag: Future

Meditation 199 ~Plans B Thru V~

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Braxton wasn’t very good at planning, either. Like father, like son. The plan is to stay in bed or under it, in his case, and make the world go away. Like whatever I sniffed at the Day Job has me all queasy. But there’s life… Plans B Thru V

Thursday, January 16, 2025

Meditation 199 ~Plans B Thru V~

1446 Days Without B III, Day 887 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m still a day away, or rather 1446. We’re going on four long years, son.

Eff! I’m effed! You’re effed! Everything is effed! And not in the Carrie Cummings sort of way. The cute chick I was looking up this Wednesday, January 15, 2025. (Drools). From plans to pornography, everything seems to be in disarray.

Braxton, I know. Eww! I’m supposed to be positive. But today, I’ve been going back and forth between being sick. It’s Been a tough day, B III. It’s like a never-ending cycle, son. Whenever I get over one thing, like earwax, there’s always something else.

A queasy stomach? And my leg as well. It’s like the moment I’m headed out to the Day Job, Braxton, my leg is on fire. And with what’s happening on Monday B. Run Boy Run?

I should be making plans to live, somehow, someway. But I really want, Braxton, to find a way to connect with you. You were/are my son, Braxton. Always and Forever.

As the song goes, “I don’t fear shh but tomorrow.” I’m a black man, a Dad, and for a few minutes… uh, a writer. But Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. And brother Malcolm:

“In fact, not even as an American, because if I was an American, the problem that confronts our people today wouldn’t even exist. So I have to stand here today as what I was when I was born: a black man. Before there was any such thing as a Republican or a Democrat, we were black.” ― Malcolm X (1992)

I swear, even if I knew what to do, I wouldn’t know what to do. There’s the Inauguration of a racist. THEY won’t like me saying that. You and me, Braxton, “We men, ain’t we?”

There’s the fact I’m becoming broker and broker Day Job-wise. I don’t wanna work… Huh?

Then how will I pay for all the things Virgil desperately needs? And when I can remember the name of the living, what about you, Braxton? Because starting the twenty-fifth…

What’s another week of remembrance? How do I honor you?

I haven’t read a book on Pet Loss so far this year. A part of me wants to perform the burning of the funeral garments like in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. Uh, didn’t I, B?

Your box is sitting here, and I’ve only opened it once. And I owe you so many gifts, my son. But you tell me that you’re still here. Whatever will you tell me next week?

Recovering from everything from this month, what will I be doing in February? M Anime? Boy, don’t I wish! But she wouldn’t appreciate that. I asked to be her Valentine last year…She forgot, B. She’s got no plans to be your stepmom or my conquest. Revelations, dreams, a plan B. Thinking… Plans B Thru V

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 197 ~Braxton Souled Out Virgil~

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Before Braxton took his big trip to The Rainbow Bridge, he had a look saying, Heaven isn’t so great. So I asked for him. Reincarnated? He’s not Virgil. As a Dad, I was spoiled for 15 years. But who am I? Where’s B’s stepmom? Braxton Souled Out Virgil

Tuesday, January 14, 2025

Meditation 197 ~Braxton Souled Out Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And “If This World Were Mine.” Come now, love. What day doesn’t begin with music?

If anything, it begins with “Easy Street.” Then bring in some Cheryl Lynn and Luther Vandross. From there, it’s A Cruel Angel’s Thesis, the opening theme for the Evangelion series. Though, what I wouldn’t give to go back to those 3 AM mornings of Inuyasha.

Fukai Mori? My love, my life, you know that I love you. But tell me I could go back. Let me, let me wake up to that piece of music. And peace of mind. Not in this 40-year-old form of mine. The spoiled boy that I don’t ever want to see again. Yet, I’m still him in some way. Hell, that’s my life’s goal. To wake up without pain or in the pursuit of pleasure.

Your pus**? Or wanting power.

But in peace. What is peace? Here’s a better question? Darling, what peace I’ve lost…

Selling out? To provide for my FAMILY… Could I have my best FRIEND back? Because I like to watch people… Uh, Eff? It doesn’t bother me. Not even slightly, my Darling. I have been blessed. And if it cost me my soul? If I am to become a FIEND, whatever…

I was reading last night and had a revelation, an epiphany, and some ideas. I’m not doing Yevgeny Zamyatin’s “We” justice. Sorry… Anyway, he was talking about having a soul…

Forming… And this is as negative as I will be today. But when I sent Braxton to The Rainbow Bridge, it was because of kidney failure. But my boy’s heart…

Mine remains these 4 years later inscrutably broken. But to love as Braxton did love.

Having such a heart as he gave me. And then there’s having my soul returned. Darling, I have no thoughts of getting into Heaven. But I have thought it, seen and heard it in you.

A man sells off pieces of himself. And what does he get in return for such a sacrifice, my love? THEY say a man provides for his family. “That is the way of things,” always.

Jem’Hadar? Really! Love you married a man who continually pimps himself as a pop culture so-and-so. Who delights in adult pleasures? And plays music at all hours. Tell me why? The world, my love. And everything in it. Love and peace! Braxton Souled Out Virgil.

1444 Days Without B III, Day 885 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 196 ~Right To B Silent~

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I’d always tell my son Braxton to shut up. But when he barked, it was helping me or explaining his side. My other boy, Virgil, never makes a sound unless I’m leaving or he’s hurt. But I’ll take their noise or silence over people. “Right To B Silent.”

Monday, January 13, 2025

Meditation 196 ~Right To B Silent~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Can you hear me now? Good… That might have even been before my time, Dad. We’re old men here.

Here. You and me, always and forever, if we’re singing The Wannadies. Or forever and always, I’m always here if you’re thinking Jimi Jamison. The facts are… The time doesn’t matter; you can hear me, and I’m always here. Where did you think you got that “always” line from? When it comes to the ladies… You got that from me. What’s one more lesson, Dad?

Being the strong, silent type, you know. And speaking of what I know… Last night…

Daddy, do you feel better? I hate to see you in pain. Like father, like son. Or vice versa. I suppose. You think “such and such” was terrible on January 11, 2022. But earwax, Daddy?

Only you wanted to make sure you heard me today.

Not the alarm clock. Humans and time. You hear the clock ticking as if it were a replacement for me walking back and forth in the hall. Well, it ain’t. You treat the clock like Virgil. Something you have to listen to, but at the end of the day, what have you accomplished… Other than missing me. Again, Dad, I’m here always. Accept that, Daddy.

It’s time. And no, I don’t mean ACCEPTANCE. You look at that the way you’re looking at the bug, glow box, and trash can people. You know why I barked at all of them, ha-ha.

Yet you went a whole week not hearing anything. But at midnight… You were screamin’ at last night as if you thought you’d hear me.

And you go back and forth with it. Sometimes, you want all the noise I make to drown out all the people. The songs we listen to, the tapping of your finger across the page, and may we never forget our movie nights with “our” favorite girl. Or even” Just The Two Of Us” watching wrestling. Seriously, Daddy, no sound compared, Next 2 Our Hearts.

But yours still beating Daddy, even if you can’t hear it. Just as you refuse to say that my heart ever did. Only this is not the Tell-Tale Heart you’re reading in the silence today.

Daddy, if I were to bring you silence, I would speak that I leave you in love and peace. Practicing the Right To B Silent.

“Let us go singing as far as we go: the road will be less tedious.”

1443 Days Without B III, Day 884 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 195 ~That’s Another B Virgil~

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He that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. Is the Bible Pop Culture? Anyway, I learned a lot last week… I know something else is broken, and I have no clue how to fix it. Or cash. And that includes my existence. That’s Another B Virgil

Sunday, January 12, 2025

Meditation 195 ~That’s Another B Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Are you a Dad yet? Are you hard enough? Are you rough enough? Are you rich enough?

First off… Eww! Second, the week has just begun… Darling, the nightmare has just begun. Once again, this isn’t negativity. You are pointing out facts. And the truth hurts. Doesn’t it? That is when you can hear it. The body. The brain. Braxton’s Playlist… Madness

Braxton is ashes in a box. And you’re a boy in a bed. Would you kindly get up and do…?

Well, something other than fantasizing about Ashley Graham from RE4 or Cherry. There are so many choices. And not so many days. How many months has it been since E-Day?

And now… You know what is coming up at the end of the month. How B III met his end.

You’re so dark this morning. Dystopia and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least you’re telling the truth about number four. The last time you broke, it took MILF Dos’s voice and Cherry’s body. What do you want? Perfection, Consistency, uh… Discipline. Hell, the answer is your name, Will. All you need is the Will. Nothing more.

The Will to win. Where there’s a Will, there’s a way. The gift of Free Will and all that jazz.

But yeah, you could use Braxton and the willingness to quit with pop culture references.

Only Will you settle for another B-day? What’s one more day spent bedridden, Hmm? What’s another day singing, “Had a Bad Day again.” What’d I say about Pop Culture? Yet most of this morning was spent on b**bs, Yabbos. And not these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING We by Yevgeny Zamyatin (Dystopia)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because? If this was school, what would you be getting? A, B, C, D… F? What happened to E? What indeed? Shall I tell you? It’s the least I can do. “EASY like Sunday morning.”

That’s what happened. And it’s a lie. There’s fake it till you make it, and then there’s ignorance, insanity, and downright indifference. The idea that it’s okay to be well… A forty-year-old boy. How about to be Braxton? You have your box to exist in. What about to be a beta? There’s another word for that… NTR (Netorare), but that’s a story for the bedroom.

And you need to leave this one. Don’t make today another failure. Don’t pray for a D… Eww! Get up, Will! That’s Another B Virgil

1442 Days Without B III, Day 883 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 194 ~Braxton, Virgil, Button Up~

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I should buy Braxton and Virgil coats and little boots. B III would have taken one of my hands. And 2-V would be as confused as ever. What about myself? My mouth, pants, wallet, and computer. Buttons and locks. “Braxton, Virgil, Button Up.”

Saturday, January 11, 2025

Meditation 194 ~Braxton, Virgil, Button Up~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I live somewhere that’s warm… And preferably green. A modern-day Eden. My own Elysium.

Is there anything wrong with singing “Throw The Covers” over me? Is that not positive? One doesn’t always have to be working to have a positive experience in this life…

Though my Dearest Lady Lunalesca, Will Smith had the right idea. I believe it goes:

“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time.”
Will Smith

Of course, that was my son Braxton and now Virgil. But I couldn’t save him from the heat. And now the snow. We’re not freezing. If only the temperature were the only issue right now.

Nowadays, it’s money. If only there was some sort of lock for my wallet, bank account, and wherever else I have cash. I did have hundreds in a cookie tin and the Death Star, ha.

When the Man Comes Around? That man is my father…

Don’t I want to be positive? I’ve got my son, who’s been gone almost four years. And my father, who is very much alive and pays my bills. And what do I want, Lady Lunalesca?

I want to unbutton my pants for a girl on OnlyFans. It’s saying things like that, which is costing me friends. Or repeating The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. That’s today…

https://onlyfans.com/1481875569/willyswants

I could spend hours looking that up. Oh, besides researching Mia Rose and Lorena Sanchez? For the record, T*** Eff Holes 6. And there was talking to M Anime, Lunalesca.

Nightmare At The Meat Market. I swear the only thing that has me both unbuttoning my pants and, at the same time, pushing buttons in the right direction. For what?

So I don’t have to worry. As long as I’m doing anything positive… we gon’ be alright. Ha. Remaining positive.

And speaking of “We.” That’s what I was reading this morning. The house is falling apart, sure. But Trump and the next four years… As long as no one accuses me of trying to eat Virgil. I’m nowhere near the best person, Lunalesca. Self-awareness is a positive. Don’t you think?

Lunalesca, I’m also supposed to be getting some new equipment. Again, anything to keep me busy. The promise to M Anime to send her more of her nightmarish tale. Sigh.

Lunalesca, if I could button up everything… And become indifferent once more. Uh, B III? The world is getting colder. I know my destination. 9th Circle. Braxton, Virgil, Button Up.

1441 Days Without B III, Day 882 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 192 ~X, B, V, Unknowns~

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When Braxton was around, this bed was good for one thing… Sleeping. Because who knows what would happen if I went beyond the door’s threshold. Food. Fury. Female Friends. But always there was the problem of FEAR. So positivity? X, B, V, Unknowns

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Meditation 192 ~X, B, V, Unknowns~

1439 Days Without B III, Day 880 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day, you’d ask… After napping too long. How it was or what I did…

At this particular moment, I’m feeling lost, B. I’m wiping the tears from my face, struggling to be positive. I’ve even talked to Inspector Echo about FEAR, PAIN, and RAGE, my boy. You know your Dad can be a bit hot-headed for any number of reasons. But it comes to…

Stupidity. I want to ask you how you grew up so fast. Because being here…

Braxton, I know, I know! Again positivity. But everything, everyone, and everywhere makes no sense to me. It’s like I tell people all the time. I’m here. This point, space, and time. And like those same people B III It’s me, hi. I’m the problem; it’s me. Dear ole’ Dad.

Today, though, at this very moment, the thing that scares me is the Day Job. eSign Topper Change… Doesn’t look like anything to me. Even if you knew what to do you wouldn’t know what to do. It’s all Greek to me. And is there anything else from Pop Culture?

How about play? That ain’t something we should speak on. But my Dad never taught me about women. And now I’m into Judy Alvarez, who reminds me of a tattooed Irish lass. Sextra Credit. And now I have a thing for sisters, B. You swore off women… Not your aunt.

Thinking about our movie nights with her and food… I got forty dollars, Braxton. How do I live off that? It wouldn’t bother you any.

That was a bad joke, I know, but the fact that I could make it with how you passed away… But Virgil is here, and he’s still unknown. Even though you passed, goin on four long years. Still wakin’ up at late at night cryin’ tears. R. Kelly? Seriously? Disgusting!

Changing the subject… What book should I read next, B? I finished “It Can’t Happen Here.” I value your opinion, my boy. Though back in the day you left all the reading to me. Right?

There’s also TV. I finished the second season of Squid Game on Tuesday. Any thoughts? Well, other than that, I was Gi-hun, and you were Jung-bae. And I… The friendship?

Being positive? What will I do to honor you and to remember? Running late. Because into the unknown… I would rather sleep. You know about that. X, B, V, Unknowns

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 190 ~Heading B’s Way Virgil~

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So many things are happening in my head that I forgot my “Resolutions.” And if I try to relax, the other head is worse… Eww! Where is the Queen of Hearts, The Red Queen, or Cherry? And it might snow, too? Another worry. “Heading B’s Way Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 7, 2025

Meditation 190 ~Heading B’s Way Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Is it with the type of love that my Braxton had for me? That love…

If this is the kind of love that my mom used to warn me about
Man, I’m in trouble
I’m in real big trouble ―

Wyclef Jean said it better than I ever could. And Braxton never said a word. Yet I believe he sends me these songs and words. Like you could say, I’m Insane in the Membrane. Ha!

Then again, I’ve always said I’ll take physical pain over mental mischief. My head hurts!

Because yesterday… And I’m remaining “positive.” But my love, I’m only speaking the truth. Yesterday was a terrible day for my mental health. I went from falling back asleep to looking at myself in the mirror and wondering… How did Socrates do it? Uh, Hemlock.

I was so exhausted that I was praying for some accident. Yes, women are dangerous.

Before heading to bed, I spent most of the night looking up… Stuff And Thangs?

Not my own or some beautiful girls’ Yabbos. Our “home” is for you, my lovely wife, and any “partners.” I’m still researching that option. But last night I was looking for things… Like I keep in the nightstand. Russian Roulette type… Stop watching Squid Game.

Only the finale remains. But that’s not the reason I’m fighting hard to stay positive. It’s like that time I read Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret. It was supposed to bring positivity. But somehow, I got triggered by a wave of negativity that swept over me. It was like a storm in my mind, overwhelming. Overstimulating?

Having two heads, my love… Or is it I’m wearing too many hats? It could be, as THEY say. Heavy the head that wears the crown. And I want my crown. For you, ours, Braxton…

Darling, I won’t credit Braxton with “You Can Leave Your Hat On.” Ha-ha. Would I make you my Kyrie Canaan or Lady Dimitrescu, my love? I swear, like most men, I have to blow one head to clear the other. And after that joy, well, what comes next… Both figuratively and literally… Eww! And is that a positive thing? Making Love. Getting Off. Saying hi to my monster. I didn’t do that yesterday. If anything, my love, honestly. It’s just…

Yesterday, I felt like a victim. And I was tired of running. I’m losing my head one way or another. But it’s a cold, cruel, coming to an end type of world. Braxton needs company…

But as a Husband, Father, and Friend. Whatever else, love. I understand the importance of emotional connection. I’m committed to being there for you, my love, and I hope you’ll be there for me too as we navigate life’s challenges together. Heading B’s Way Virgil

1437 Days Without B III, Day 878 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 189 ~I’ll B Your Alarm~

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I should have woken up a few months ago. Better! I should have woken up a few years ago… Before Braxton passed. But I’m always so tired. Only when you have someone to love… Preferably with four legs or “pillows” to smother me. I’ll B Your Alarm.

Monday, January 6, 2025

Meditation 189 ~I’ll B Your Alarm~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Not a “Whose Line Is It Anyway” episode. Things You Can Say To Your Dog But Not Your Girlfriend.

GROSS, Dad! But I got you to GRIN. And for that, I’m GLAD. Or so you’ll understand. “And in this moment, I am happy. Happy… I Wish You Were Here.” Have you gotten to copying all the songs that I’m sending… You’re hearing. Well, when I wasn’t sitting on your head as you struggled to get up, Dad. How I miss that struggle. Back then, you were struggling to breathe. These days… Inevitably, it’s finding reasons just to keep breathing.

Only I appreciate your efforts to be positive. Either I was sitting on your head, or some girl was sitting on your face. Uh, eww! I had my toys, and you promised me a stepmom.

That’s a reason to get up, Daddy. Somebody to Love

It can’t be FEAR today. If stars are in your eyes, it shouldn’t be from looking up to Heaven to find me. Don’t cry, Daddy. And I won’t get any more biblical than Matthew 28:6…

Daddy, your attempts at a positive attitude are commendable. Your greatest enemy is all your FEAR. Next would be ANGER. But Friday, January 3, 2025, it’s FEAR with the termite inspector. You’ve faced such challenges before, and you can do it again. I know it.

FEAR wakes you up. And yet, “like a stone, I’ll wait for you there alone.” Protecting you… No! It was always about protecting us. We ran this life together. And we stood and faced the end together. Not death but the end of one chapter to the next, my father.

Existing… No, living has been a long nightmare for you.

Dad? I understand how you dream of waking up. You open your eyes only for this man or that woman to show you the next scary beast to fear. There are challenges, yes, Dad, always and forever. But I’m here to listen and support you.

Daddy, haven’t we talked about humans and time? You’re “Wide Awake” when my favorite girl is here. There are times like this when we’re talking or you’re writing at all.

Time ceases to exist. And like E-Day… Yes, we can bring it up because January 31, 2025, is coming up, and your positivity will be tested. Yes, I know. Like E-Day, you let yourself sleep forever without a care in the world. But Daddy, you need to care. Wake Up!

Today, tomorrow… The next. I’m here. Ready to support you through every challenge. Always and forever. I’ll B Your Alarm

“Nothing’s difficult. Everything’s a challenge. Through adversity to the stars. From the last plane to the last bullet to the last minute to the last man – we fight. WE fight! We FIGHT!” – Red Tails

1436 Days Without B III, Day 877 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 188 ~An Honest B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I got a well-deserved D in a Math class long ago. I cheated on a few French tests and got A’s and B’s. And then I got caught. However, I haven’t used THAT Math, and I can’t speak French, but being positive… I graduated. But life? “An Honest B Virgil”

Sunday, January 5, 2025

Meditation 188 ~An Honest B Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And the only person you should be judging. I can’t stress this enough. Just a fact. Positive…

You’re gonna be positive. And yes, you know the word is Popular. As you know, that song has been everywhere from Wicked. Like B’s recommendations. The song “Popular” is not one of them. But there is also Squid Game 2. Indeed, the popular things of this day and age. More importantly, they’re honest. What about you? You’re an honest man…

Well, this is our first time talking in the new year. So how do you feel? Oh, the tears, hmm? You’re tired, but you have a bed. Everything has to have a positive spin. Inevitably…

You’ll be sad again. You should start your resolutions on Monday, February 3, 2025. Braxton? At the moment. It looks like you’ll repeat the day. Like failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
    Failed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)*
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Just the facts. And here’s another one. Being positive isn’t on any list for the new year, friend. Not a resolution or an Impossible Thing. So why bother? Popularity… Popular.

You’re not putting that in Braxton’s playlist. You’re more inclined to add the Squid Game 2 Version of “Fly Me To The Moon.” Would that make you popular? But in all honesty…

Do you know what’s not popular? Complaining about life, crying over Braxton, and talking about all the women that make you cream your pants when you’re wearing any.

I only bother when Virgil needs to go outside or get food. That’s another thing as well. Stop being such a crabby pants when speaking on Virgil. At this rate, he’ll make Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

There’s also the fact that you don’t need to bring up cash, the house’s current state, and the country’s sad state in two weeks. And the company you call a Day Job. Am I saying don’t be a C-Student? You should be so lucky. And once again, the facts. You have to be positive, which is the only advice. But is that being honest starting this year? Don’t I wish.

Somehow. I don’t know how, but yes, somehow. LIE. A lie can be positive… Enough.

However, the question is, how do you look at yourself? A good student doesn’t make a happy person. Learning to say you’re happy is a positive thing. And biggest falsehood.

When said enough… Don’t finish that. An Honest B Virgil.

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1435 Days Without B III, Day 876 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 187 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth~

WillLeave a comment

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. I’m saying the apocalyptic and dystopian for books or January 6 -20. But good news, there’s no termites and I’m dismissing negativity. As far as being positive. Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth

Saturday, January 4, 2025

Meditation 187 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But I have more respect than most because I don’t use my children as armor… Elon.

That’s me being positive and stating the facts. But I won’t lie, my dearest Lunalesca. Despite the challenges, I’m holding on to my positivity. Somehow…

Positivity is a long, long road… Tom Petty today with “Love Is a Long Road.” B is doing what he can with the music. If I focus on what happened yesterday, Lady Lu, I mean…

On the positive side, the termite inspector said there are no termites. My Lunalesca? I’m going to cheer for that because everything after… Well, Braxton talked to me. From beyond…

Speaking of Braxton, I remember when he first stepped into the invisible? I was in a stage of Denial for around seventy days before a manager pushed me towards anger.

Within three days of the new year… My leaning towards positivity has been shaken, Lu. I’m feeling a bit lost right now. So I’m here.

And if that isn’t enough, I discovered two things last night. One by myself and the other Lunalesca… Well, I was Doomscrolling, so somebody else said it, but honestly, Lunalesca.

I’m going to blame the tears on being Blinded by the Light. Bruce Springsteen? Really? Lu, I’m constantly researching what happened to B. I asked off the Day Job for his memorial at the end of the month. But I’ve always said it was my indifference that ended B III.

Lunalesca that led me to the second discovery. I was listening to this woman speak on these tragedies that define us. And that we make them the end all be all of our lives, Lu.

Name something greater than my son? I was/am a father.

I’m the King Of New York, I’m a mothereffin’ Starboy. And I’m Free. I have to work on Braxton’s playlist. It’s been four days. Let me say that again. IT’S BEEN FOUR DAYS into the new year. So ask me how I’m feeling about it. Lady Lunalesca, without any negativity.

Everything and everyone has made it their goal to forbid me from leaving this room. Luna, it’s my own room 1408. Okay, so that means more time to get to know Virgil with his four years. I’m on episode four of Squid Game and skipping the whole Dub vs Sub.

I’ve got Braxton, Virgil, my work, and then myself. If comedy comes in threes, then what comes fourth. Bravery, Wisdom, Honesty… Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth

1434 Days Without B III, Day 875 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will