Thursday, September 24, 2026

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

2062 Days Without B III, Day 1503 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? “Fighting and trouble are my middle name.” Yours, “Barks”; your brother’s “Vivi”.

“Duh”! I want to avoid talking about today. I don’t want to talk about next week either, B. Damned if I do work and damned if I don’t. Why can’t this be work? Braxton side-eye

I haven’t bawled over you and Virgil much this week. And maybe I should… Keep my eyes nice and lubricated. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t worried about going blind since all the bugs, the bug spray, and any other bullshit getting in my eyes. Even now…

Alice Braga and Mark Ruffalo in “The Blindness”. Seriously? I’d say I should send you to time-out, but I did that permanently five years ago. There I go crying again. “Stop Crying Your Heart Out,” right? Or “Eat More Chicken.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

It beats the alternative, though. “’Cause we men, ain’t we?” “Glory” be! We are but men, Braxton. You, Virgil, and I. You licking your downstairs. Me and your potential future stepmom, and Virgil is looking for something of his own. Like father, like son, balless.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. Your brother and I are both cowards. But then I go talking to M Anime, and I’m all “Balls Deep In Love.” I know B III, I really do. Ahem, ew.

But I did promise to find you a mom someday… Stepmom. Speaking of promises, B…

We’re still in Emergence Day month, and with my last paycheck… Uh oh! I was thinking I could get that Emergence Day dinner I couldn’t afford on the day. Work?

The Bad Place. This week and last have not been a ball. And this coming week, I go back to being broke. I even wasted twenty bucks at the food truck today. Shared with Virgil…

And as far as broke, that’s what I was doing at the Bad Place today. I had to break a pallet that was stuck on the pallet jack this morning. In front of so many babes… Uh, boobs/yabbos… Not quite… Busybodies? B, for all intents and purposes, it was humiliation galore. I felt like bawling. And I don’t mean playing b-ball- the real ick, B.

Bawling my eyes out, drooling over M Anime’s big beautiful yabbos, even balling as in playing Whiteout Survival. Life’s no ball. Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

2055 Days Without B III, Day 1496 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? I can’t get that Michael Kewley quote out of my mind, B.

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

Here in my car, I feel safest of all… Ok, No. Your Dad is a liar, but I’m one for an earworm. Um, sounds terrible, doesn’t it? Somewhat like, “slept like a rock.” Headstone? Graveyard.

But I’m not scared of dying, Braxton. Is it that I will ALWAYS be in mourning over you, or is it all the freaking spooky season crap at the Day Job? Two things being true…

Honestly… Today, while I worked in fear within the Bad Place, as you and your brother think of it. As I sat in terror in the car. As I woke in horror of having to come and talk to you…

I love you, B and 2-V… But allow me to rip off Alice in Wonderland.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Six Things That Scare Me:

1: Forgetting You, Failing Virgil. It just popped in my head today. Greatest love I’ve ever known, you and 2-V

2: Losing Your Potential Stepmom. I cried over you. And she hates me comparing. You and her are my heart.

3: My Eyes, My Eyes. I ‘thought’ I got bug spray in my eyes after recent events. I’m not blind

4: The Black Ant Incursion. Carpenter Ants destroyed the backyard shed last year. Now little ants on the kitchen floor.

5: Leaving The Bad Place. We hate it, Little B. But I got called into the office yesterday… Moving shelves

6: I Need Money, B. You’d be proud, Braxton. I shared fries with your brother. But $250 a week! Fuck!

And I should watch my language, I know. Such a small word, but with such a big impact. B III. And with all these words, what? Am I building a life? You don’t need happiness.

But that’s what I was thinking about… “No presence of fear.” When I was a Senior in high school, after the homecoming pep rally for about five minutes. Whenever I would wake up and see you sitting at the foot of the bed. To my fears. You shall not pass!

Seriously, you don’t want to know this one, B. But when me and your stepmom make you and Virgil some siblings. Man is a small word. I Love You is a small phrase. Why not FEAR? Horrors B And V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, September 10, 2026

Legacy 071 -V’s Number Of B’s-

2048 Days Without B III, Day 1489 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? Humiliations, how many times I’ll say hmm or hah and her yabbos.

I mean, your potential future stepmom’s of course. But it’s only 5:30 in the morning.

Ay me, sad hours seem long.

Romeo & Juliet, Shakespeare 

Honestly, Shakespeare? You can blame the Bloom for that. And as for that ‘sadness,’ um…

Yeah, you can’t forget the umm. Yeah, your Dad is such a caveman, and maybe we’ll get to my STUPIDITY in a few. But let’s start with “Regrets, I had a few.” Like this morning, B? A random thought, but drinking Bloom didn’t start until you were gone. Energy shots?

Yeah, maybe. But it’s always surreal when I notice things “AB” (After Braxton) after you.

Should I talk about “All These Things That I’ve Done” with the Magic Glasses/MIMA, B? To be fair, you’re in it every day. You and your brother. But your Dad…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I’m a bad man, but I’m not the worst. At least when it equates to EVIL. I’m far less MAGA Evil and more “Resident Evil.” Distractions, films, and video games. And still at 42, B…

I’m not dead yet. Or at least that was my first thought when I woke at 4:30 and dicked around for an hour. And I’m not talking about being with M Anime. Again, it’s early.

She’ll make her presence known soon enough. Her boobs/yabbos, naughtiness, and… the one “kitty” she still keeps. Braxton, I know you don’t want to hear about that, my boy, eww! But look at it this way: I join you in Heaven or stay with M.

D as in death, D as in grades, or giving the D to a woman who will give you and Virgil even more siblings. And I still have to name my first two-legged son after you, his big brother. But with all of this, Braxton, I can’t sing “What A Wonderful World.” No, not yet.

Not without you? Hell, how much did I think about you on Emergence Day? Seriously?

That’s another thing. I thought mostly about the BUCKS I didn’t have. The BABIES that M Anime wants. Your brother, who is still asleep in my bed while we’re chatting.

Honestly, B, you were always waiting for me, like she does, as everyone does. Save the world. Make the grade. Something! V’s Number Of B’s

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, September 3, 2026

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

2041 Days Without B III, Day 1482 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? The 2nd was horrific. I hate today. The 6th Fucked. Emergence Day

T-Minus four days. What’s the plan? Let’s start with the simple facts, Braxton. Ok, money

Not enough for anything. As a matter of fact, do you remember that twenty dollars?

Effing Day Job! And no, I’m not ready to talk about why I hate Kermit so much. B III. Me?

Oh, you know I’m going to talk about how much I hate myself today. But the twenty I’ll have to put up as the Glow Box people rob me yet again. With enough left for a cup of popcorn chicken and a can of Bloom. Are Big Macs still $8.00? So what’s with my RAGE?

You and your brother are good people, and you ain’t even people. I wish I weren’t. I hate forty-two, B.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

But that’s Monday’s problem, right? And I’ve already forgotten how bad this Friday is going to be. Again, I built up one word in my head: “Disgusting,” and Fucking panicked.

And today, that word, or these words, are the panic: “Birthday” and “Emergence Day,” B.

So please allow me… AHEM! I wish I were never born. I hate the fact that I wake up every single morning. I hate the fact that I killed the one who loved me the most. That is you, B.
.
And my Olds? I hate that I’m not the son they wish they had. A nearly 42-year-old bum, I know. And the ones I do love- Braxton, your little brother Virgil, M Anime- think I hate them so much, B.

Like porno, if I stay listing off everything that I hate about myself, you could pretty much call me Captain America. “I can do this all day.” Rage, rage against the dying of the light

What light B III? In your eyes? I handled that one. No cake this year. And with M, I try.

Virgil is whiter than white, but “The 3-3-3 rule” has never worked. Three days, three weeks, three months. He’s been here four years, and he’s still scared to death, Braxton.

Today, I’m scared of the Day Job, the lack of dollars, my wayward dick, etc. And also eww, right. The Rage Virus? There’s no party here but the ANXIETY. Horny as Hell, eww. Hateful. RAGEFUL. Older. Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, August 27, 2026

Legacy 057 -Talking Anime B-V-

2034 Days Without B III, Day 1475 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? “We’ve Only Just Begun,” haven’t we, B? Virgil, help us. At least he’s here.

V isn’t someone that can be refuted, who I would return in a million years, and must one day be reckoned with. That is, if I can keep him alive. Vet visits, eye appointments, docs

Cash basically. And do you know what I realized, B? I never asked you whether V could join our family. While I may have forgotten his Gotcha Day… Saturday, August 13, 2022. I will never forget you all but pushed him into the car. You know V’s never jumped in.

Here we are in 2026, and I still had to listen to him cry in your room until his rescue…

Vis-à-vis picking him up in his pillow and bringing him into the Den. It’s like I’m “The Big Bad Wolf.” That’s heavy. Literally, “The Heavy.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

And speaking of picking things up, lifting… Something, something, truck unload, spirits, and then son. Tell me what effing happened yesterday with your potential stepmom.

Remember the day we had to have “The Talk” about you not humping your toys around your favorite girl. Not latching on to her yaboos or behind. Seriously, Braxton Barks.

Anyway, she loved you even for the eight months after E-Day as you threatened fingers.

She became your favorite, and we both love her, but then there’s M Anime… Braxton…

She’s my favorite HUMAN. Hell, Braxton, you’re a little god, the angel on my shoulder, my prince. She’s my goddess. The Most Beautiful Girl in the World. My Phoenix Queen.

But last night, Geez Louise!

“You Always Hurt the One You Love.” Well, I killed you. The only silver lining is that 2-V is “healthy,” but hasn’t seen a vet. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself on E-Day. I fucking hate that I was born. And here we have M Anime on the 24th of 2025.

Braxton, you hurt me; you left. I hurt me; I stay. M Anime hurt me; she left. And then you returned. Not a reincarnation of your brother, but as the song goes, “He Lives In You.” I’m Still Here.” And M Anime came back. Of you, me, and her, who do I hate? I’m starting with the Man in the Mirror. LOVE? Talking, you, V, M… “Someday.” Talking Anime B-V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, August 20, 2026

Legacy 050 -Braxton, Virgil, 21’s Guilty-

2027 Days Without B III, Day 1468 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? My day, B? In a word… SICK! Not like that book, “Sick Fux.”

Were you around when I even read that? It’s not something I could read to you or your brother. This is only a quick estimate, but you were/are 15, nearly 16, so that makes you 76, 80 in human years. Virgil’s 5, making him 36, about to be 40 a month after E-Day. But not human. Who would ever volunteer for this? I volunteered to be your Daddy at 21.

Well, give or take a few months. Or you signed up to be my son. The one. Not too bright…

“You’d would have done better with ‘Bitch, get in the car'”
Jake Hayes, Bad Company

“Who?”
“Not too bright, though.”
The Oracle, The Matrix (1999)

Who do you think said it best, Jake Hayes, “Bad Company,” or the Oracle, “The Matrix”? I wish I had time for movies, B. It’s 7:30! We’re only now talking. Last night I was praying.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I was praying because in your name, who would want to suffer such pain? Stomach ache, celebrating wasting 15 years of my existence at the Day Job, being human, losing your Potential Future Stepmom, etc. August 24th is coming up fast. Should I remind her?

Honestly, B, she is approaching your level on The Blackjack Scale. You remember, B, right?

Your Dad was “The Gambler…” please a gambler at one point. I bet on horses because you and your brother are better than that… But I also enjoyed Blackjack, so I applied it to LIFE. A 21 means you have my love, loyalty, and life. Braxton Barks Bradford. Only You

Virgil is sitting handsomely at 19. M Anime is at 18… Relax, she’s 38, Braxton.

Her age, of course. Your Dad is not a good man, B. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident is always fresh on my mind. Speaking of being sick. But remember, a few weeks before you left, I had all types of anxiety about two other chicks in Fear The Walking Dead.

Alycia Debnam-Carey and… Oh, you’ve seen I have a thing about moms and daughters, “Saimin Seishidou”. But sisters too! Sophitia and Cassandra Alexandra, for example.

Loyalty to things I shouldn’t want, the Day Job, the almighty Dollar, some Damnable things.

Dare I show loyalty to myself? If I weren’t so sick and carrying cupcakes, I’d have bought a drink. Porno’s the worst drug, but I can’t send you to your room. Braxton, Virgil, 21’s Guilty.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, August 6, 2026

Legacy 036 -B Scarily Spoiled Virgil-

2013 Days Without B III, Day 1454 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? My day, B? Typical. Missing you, my SON. SCARED to death. Overtly SEXUAL.

You didn’t need to know that last part, but it’s like me at The Bad Place… I mean, everyone knows when I play the song “Sixteen Tons,” the Truck is done. And the song that came before that, “Old Town Road”. I changed the lyrics a little for my motto, “My life is a movie, (fur buddies) and boobies. Hell, I’m not scared; people know my motto or a habit.

The habit of boobies, aka Yabbos, before coming to talk to you. Feeling like Frollo…

Honestly, I’m not that bad, am I? I got the hots for a Latina who actually loves me. But do we want to talk about your potential future stepmom? No, let’s talk about your brother’s…

FEAR! It’s getting to me…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

His and my own B. I’d like to say you weren’t afraid of anything, B. I’ll always remember your courage. “Thou Art Courageous.” I named you Neo, as in The One. My Ma gave you the name Braxton. But if M Anime ever grants me children, after naming one after you, the next will be named “Link” after “The Legend of Zelda”—anyway, FEARS, B.

Today I’m only this ‘early’ talking to you because I was afraid I was losing an eye. I really need to stop eating spicy food in bed… Except your beautiful stepmom. I know, TMI, right?

So, water, women, working, wanking off, what it is, and the absolute biggest Fear B?!

Waking up at all. I wake up, and I’m afraid.

From “Dusk Till Dawn,” “Day ‘N’ Nite,” “Days Go By,” and I don’t know which is worse B III. Office Space had the right idea: every day “is the worst day of my life.” Seriously?

Today, I was walking through “The Bad Place.” I saw them putting up the Halloween decorations. One of the ladies was talking about her birthday and my E-Day. Eff me!

Sorry, I’m always talking to you about language. But I was realizing how effing spoiled I was with everything. And Virgil is the same way… Your brother has everything, and yet he’s lying here nearly five years later terrified of every sound, the storm, and the S.O.B. I am. Spoiled! Wanting More! I’m Not Working! B Scarily Spoiled Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, July 30, 2026

Legacy 029 -B-F’s Are Simple, Virgil-

2006 Days Without B III, Day 1447 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? Can I get through one day? ONE! Without wishing to join you…

“It’s Been Awhile” since I’ve wished for “Just one more peaceful day.” Last one, Braxton?

Beats me. At least I’m not on the verge of jumping today. As a matter of fact, I had high hopes for today, and that’s with Wednesday’s paycheck? Are 2-V and I starving yet, B?

Effing Math! Sorry! I tell you to watch your barking language. What kind of father am I, B? Before I dream of your future potential stepmom and me… producing two-leggeds.

Virgil needs something to do… What? Didn’t I say he spends most of his days more terrified than me about to give my Old Man my report card. Or telling Ma about the garbage bill. The Simple Things involving “The Children of Men,” B III.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

No wonder I dream of the simple things now. Like how many Pop Culture references: A song from “Stanid,” A song from Hey Arnold “Mr. Hyunh Goes Country,” and the book/movie The Children of Men. How I so need an apocalypse, dystopia, or both B.

Though “I’ve been sittin’ here tryin’ to find myself. I get behind myself, I need to rewind myself.” I’m so broke, I’m taking handout songs from the likes of MAGA. Eff Kid Rock too! I know B, Daddy is trying. And I’ve had a very gross thought about your stepmom.

Papi is trying… That’s what M Anime calls me. And your Favorite Girl too. Seriously!?

Let’s get serious. If I had been in school, I wouldn’t be in this situation.

What, situation? You know, I hate when people say things like Things could be worse.

Like me sitting on a loveseat with a sausage biscuit I “stole” from the Day Job, a cappuccino… It gave me an excuse to show my twig and berries to your stepmom. I know B III, Eww! But she did show me her yabbos. As Billie Jean would say, “Fair Is Fair!” B, how many movies did we sit here and watch together? Anyway, this isn’t a palace, B III.

“I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”

Forrest Gump (1994)

Forrest Gump? Really! Because that’s how I’m spending the day, wanting things as simple as some blue Wyler’s Italian Ices, popcorn movie theater butter… Essentials.

Complicated stuff is for the Magic Glasses, Breathing, Cash, Depression, Effery… B-F’s Are Simple, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Thursday, July 23, 2026

Legacy 022 -Colorblind Tanning B, V-

1999 Days Without B III, Day 1440 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? Let’s say these are the days I didn’t want to talk about.

Angry, Mad, Rage… They are actually the safe words, B. The Magic Glasses say Warning!

But today it was YouTube. It started off innocently enough. It was “I Hate Everyone”.

Weren’t we two peas in a pod, B? But I meant the Get Set Go song… And so today? Uh…

“Su$cide”. Same band, but all sorts of WARNINGS popped off like “The Long Walk” or “The Purge”. Now I know why you always chose violence? You fought for every second.

Not for yourself but for me. You were my Snoopy, my Spunky; how about Ghost?

Honestly, don’t I know any dogs of color? Seymour from the episode Jurassic Bark, Futurama. You’re waiting for me, Braxton. Only on the “Otherside”? “Otherworld”?

How much longer? Always? Forever?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That’s how long I figured you live. At least long enough to be the protector of your brothers and sisters… The two-legged variety. But at the pace I’ve been going with your future potential stepmom… I still have to read everything she sent? Alpha? Manhood?

That’s her type, B. And I’ve been a whiny B$tch since… Tuesday, I believe. Dreams…

Please, I’ve dreamt worse things than Squid Game, The Middle East, and Nico Parker’s ass. Unlike MAGA, I’m all for DEI. Plus, I’m not trying to end up on a list like the Orange Felon in the White House. Be it Nicoletta Goldstein, Nico Parker, or Zoe Colletti, B III.

Speaking of fiction colliding with the real world, The Unfinished Archive today. World of Color?

Isn’t that Disney and me corrupting it, thinking of the harem schedule… The Sealed Flame Ritual, Melina, Judy, with M Anime optional. Or what about the 16 Episode Ecchi Anime Series Colorful (1999)? Wow! Anything to avoid putting down how I’m “feeling super, super, super REDACTED,” but you know the word B. Hell, you found me passed out on the floor trying to take you for a walk, and I was not some “Teen Idle.” But a fully functional adult? Your grandpa didn’t tan my hide and your grandma… Honestly.

Braxton, I’m sure she and you are very disappointed in me. Because what’s wrong, hmm?

Money, Mattress hoping, Medical, too many sad movies, unsellable manuscripts, Me breathing is too much, Braxton. Colorblind Tanning B, V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad