Tag: Obsession

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

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Thursday, September 3, 2026

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

2041 Days Without B III, Day 1482 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? The 2nd was horrific. I hate today. The 6th Fucked. Emergence Day

T-Minus four days. What’s the plan? Let’s start with the simple facts, Braxton. Ok, money

Not enough for anything. As a matter of fact, do you remember that twenty dollars?

Effing Day Job! And no, I’m not ready to talk about why I hate Kermit so much. B III. Me?

Oh, you know I’m going to talk about how much I hate myself today. But the twenty I’ll have to put up as the Glow Box people rob me yet again. With enough left for a cup of popcorn chicken and a can of Bloom. Are Big Macs still $8.00? So what’s with my RAGE?

You and your brother are good people, and you ain’t even people. I wish I weren’t. I hate forty-two, B.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

But that’s Monday’s problem, right? And I’ve already forgotten how bad this Friday is going to be. Again, I built up one word in my head: “Disgusting,” and Fucking panicked.

And today, that word, or these words, are the panic: “Birthday” and “Emergence Day,” B.

So please allow me… AHEM! I wish I were never born. I hate the fact that I wake up every single morning. I hate the fact that I killed the one who loved me the most. That is you, B.
.
And my Olds? I hate that I’m not the son they wish they had. A nearly 42-year-old bum, I know. And the ones I do love- Braxton, your little brother Virgil, M Anime- think I hate them so much, B.

Like porno, if I stay listing off everything that I hate about myself, you could pretty much call me Captain America. “I can do this all day.” Rage, rage against the dying of the light

What light B III? In your eyes? I handled that one. No cake this year. And with M, I try.

Virgil is whiter than white, but “The 3-3-3 rule” has never worked. Three days, three weeks, three months. He’s been here four years, and he’s still scared to death, Braxton.

Today, I’m scared of the Day Job, the lack of dollars, my wayward dick, etc. And also eww, right. The Rage Virus? There’s no party here but the ANXIETY. Horny as Hell, eww. Hateful. RAGEFUL. Older. Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 062 -Fur B-V And Strippers-

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I hate this damn month. Next to January… 10 years ago I had more capital, confidence, and can-do attitude. Today, over $200 in cash, gone. I guess I can look at naughty things on the computer. And my girl promised her caboose. Fur B-V And Strippers

Tuesday, September 1, 2026

Legacy 062 -Fur B-V And Strippers-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? My very real, very HUMAN wife. What is this, Independence Day? I’m worried about E-Day.

And my boys. My boys! I miss the days I could send Braxton to his room. He don’t look for trouble, but trouble looks for him. And now he’s on the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, or wherever. The point is he’s not in timeout. Honestly, Little Virgil’s the neediest s.o.b sometimes.

And I can’t lock him up for nothing. Not even you and the Neon Jungle’s “Trouble” not a good stripper song for you? It’s not like I have any cash either. It’s the “1st Of Tha Month,” and where’s my money? Is $200 enough for a lap dance? Writing? Blogging?

“Blogging is not writing; it’s graffiti with punctuation.”
Contagion (2011)

Dude in Contagion had it right. And here I am about to be forty-two in six days. Last time I can call myself Forty-One, Ben-Hur.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

A slave, not a doctor, not a director or pornographic passions, a decider of language.

Father, can’t you just say “writer”? Braxton and Virgil would like to know. I’m sure our two-leggeds would say the same. I can’t say I was stripped of such a title I never earned, ok.

Fucker that I am. As in the guy that fucks around too much. The guy fucking you. Do I have that to look forward to if nothing else on E-Day? Presents, gifts, desires, and finally

Finding myself at forty-two. I know where I want to be. “Always with Me, Always with you.” But where will be. Adam and Eve without Eden. Naked as “God,” though I am a fan of a woman who shaves, love.

And with The Magic Glasses/MIMA. That’s another thing I’ve been thinking about this afternoon, my love. If not worrying about Journey 062 B III Of E-Day, Meditation 062 Endings B Through V or Tale 062 B A Storybook Virgil, of course it’s been Legacy 061 -Virgil Will B Eating-. I swear, the things technology can do. Other than liking myself

Would that be the worst thing? I’m a bad man, my dearest. However, loving? Fucking?

The “Shape Of You” keeps me out of trouble lawfully. But living? Braxton and Virgil.

Hell! What about our family of HUMANS? Sometimes I feel like we’re trapped in a “Vivarium,” And things like fatherhood, which I want and love, are amazing. My E-Day wasn’t planned. Fur B-V And Strippers

2039 Days Without B III, Day 1480 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 057 -Talking Anime B-V-

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Thursday, August 27, 2026

Legacy 057 -Talking Anime B-V-

2034 Days Without B III, Day 1475 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? “We’ve Only Just Begun,” haven’t we, B? Virgil, help us. At least he’s here.

V isn’t someone that can be refuted, who I would return in a million years, and must one day be reckoned with. That is, if I can keep him alive. Vet visits, eye appointments, docs

Cash basically. And do you know what I realized, B? I never asked you whether V could join our family. While I may have forgotten his Gotcha Day… Saturday, August 13, 2022. I will never forget you all but pushed him into the car. You know V’s never jumped in.

Here we are in 2026, and I still had to listen to him cry in your room until his rescue…

Vis-à-vis picking him up in his pillow and bringing him into the Den. It’s like I’m “The Big Bad Wolf.” That’s heavy. Literally, “The Heavy.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

And speaking of picking things up, lifting… Something, something, truck unload, spirits, and then son. Tell me what effing happened yesterday with your potential stepmom.

Remember the day we had to have “The Talk” about you not humping your toys around your favorite girl. Not latching on to her yaboos or behind. Seriously, Braxton Barks.

Anyway, she loved you even for the eight months after E-Day as you threatened fingers.

She became your favorite, and we both love her, but then there’s M Anime… Braxton…

She’s my favorite HUMAN. Hell, Braxton, you’re a little god, the angel on my shoulder, my prince. She’s my goddess. The Most Beautiful Girl in the World. My Phoenix Queen.

But last night, Geez Louise!

“You Always Hurt the One You Love.” Well, I killed you. The only silver lining is that 2-V is “healthy,” but hasn’t seen a vet. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself on E-Day. I fucking hate that I was born. And here we have M Anime on the 24th of 2025.

Braxton, you hurt me; you left. I hurt me; I stay. M Anime hurt me; she left. And then you returned. Not a reincarnation of your brother, but as the song goes, “He Lives In You.” I’m Still Here.” And M Anime came back. Of you, me, and her, who do I hate? I’m starting with the Man in the Mirror. LOVE? Talking, you, V, M… “Someday.” Talking Anime B-V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 055 -Braxton’s Hand, Virgil’s Pa-

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Tuesday, August 25, 2026

Legacy 055 -Braxton’s Hand, Virgil’s Pa-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And as a machine/program once said… You know The Merovingian from 2003’s The Matrix Revolutions:

“It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity.”
The Merovingian, The Matrix Revolutions

I wish I could say it was the heat. You married a crazy man. Or at the very least, love…

A grieving one. But for once this isn’t about Braxton breaking my heart. Or how I’m breaking Virgil’s. This is something we have in common. While I’m drumming up movie quotes, here is another from “Love Story” 1970: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” And we have both said that until we’re blue in the face. I only wish I had died, ha.

Not you though! Braxton barked the other day that I try and tell you “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die.” Our love didn’t die. But I’ve been thinking about the anniversary of our breakup last year. When’d we meet again?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

No clue. I don’t remember hellos. And I’m “Too Good at Goodbyes.” I remember pain way more than pleasure. Even Saturday, January 24, 2026 wasn’t about us saying hi, hmm.

It was meant for closure. And wouldn’t you know it, we got back together. You see, you were the first one to make a commitment, and then, magically, fucking left. Blood is one thing: my Olds, my sister… other family. B III didn’t leave on his own accord, my love.

That’s why it’s Treachery. Braxton would have fought to the end. Virgil is trapped, love.

That’s another story. But you? You chose hello, and as nothing happened, you chose bye.

Goodbye, really? Is it any wonder the Magic Glasses/MIMA created The Unfinished Archive? Goodbye’s forbidden.

And I’ve been thinking about the differences beloved look at my sons, for example, SIGH.

Every day it is/was “Love you B, Love you, Braxton.” Now it’s “Later V, Later Virgil.” “I’m An Asshole,” I know. But Braxton was damn near human. Virgil, after all this time, is still somewhat a pet. He’s my son regardless, but a pet. And you love, before Sunday, August 24, 2025, went from being on Braxton’s level “The Blackjack Scale” of 21 to below Virgil’s at 18. And the fact that you can’t make it back up hurts me more than it hurts you.

“I’m a killer. I’m a murdering bastard, you know that. And there are consequences to breaking the heart of a murdering bastard.”
Bill, Snake Charmer, Kill Bill: Volume 2 (2004)

I’m not as bad as Bill, but I wanted to know how I could punish you. Why? My rib. Your hand. Braxton’s Hand, Virgil’s Pa

2032 Days Without B III, Day 1473 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 050 -Braxton, Virgil, 21’s Guilty-

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15 years- where has the time gone? How much have I made with writing? How much are my wee ones worth, B III and V? I’ve made a few bucks when it comes to wickedness… What type of wickedness? Is it worse than the Day Job? Braxton, Virgil, 21’s Guilty.

Thursday, August 20, 2026

Legacy 050 -Braxton, Virgil, 21’s Guilty-

2027 Days Without B III, Day 1468 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? My day, B? In a word… SICK! Not like that book, “Sick Fux.”

Were you around when I even read that? It’s not something I could read to you or your brother. This is only a quick estimate, but you were/are 15, nearly 16, so that makes you 76, 80 in human years. Virgil’s 5, making him 36, about to be 40 a month after E-Day. But not human. Who would ever volunteer for this? I volunteered to be your Daddy at 21.

Well, give or take a few months. Or you signed up to be my son. The one. Not too bright…

“You’d would have done better with ‘Bitch, get in the car'”
Jake Hayes, Bad Company

“Who?”
“Not too bright, though.”
The Oracle, The Matrix (1999)

Who do you think said it best, Jake Hayes, “Bad Company,” or the Oracle, “The Matrix”? I wish I had time for movies, B. It’s 7:30! We’re only now talking. Last night I was praying.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I was praying because in your name, who would want to suffer such pain? Stomach ache, celebrating wasting 15 years of my existence at the Day Job, being human, losing your Potential Future Stepmom, etc. August 24th is coming up fast. Should I remind her?

Honestly, B, she is approaching your level on The Blackjack Scale. You remember, B, right?

Your Dad was “The Gambler…” please a gambler at one point. I bet on horses because you and your brother are better than that… But I also enjoyed Blackjack, so I applied it to LIFE. A 21 means you have my love, loyalty, and life. Braxton Barks Bradford. Only You

Virgil is sitting handsomely at 19. M Anime is at 18… Relax, she’s 38, Braxton.

Her age, of course. Your Dad is not a good man, B. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident is always fresh on my mind. Speaking of being sick. But remember, a few weeks before you left, I had all types of anxiety about two other chicks in Fear The Walking Dead.

Alycia Debnam-Carey and… Oh, you’ve seen I have a thing about moms and daughters, “Saimin Seishidou”. But sisters too! Sophitia and Cassandra Alexandra, for example.

Loyalty to things I shouldn’t want, the Day Job, the almighty Dollar, some Damnable things.

Dare I show loyalty to myself? If I weren’t so sick and carrying cupcakes, I’d have bought a drink. Porno’s the worst drug, but I can’t send you to your room. Braxton, Virgil, 21’s Guilty.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 048 -B’s On Birthdays Virgil-

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Tuesday, August 18, 2026

Legacy 048 -B’s On Birthdays Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And I didn’t forget? The phone didn’t warn me. The phone, Glow Box, Black Mirror…

What about the truth, my love? Happy Birthday! Welcome to Level 38! Uh, Birthday Suit

Of course, I’m thinking about you naked. I’m always thinking about you naked when I’m not grieving, groaning, or being gross, just being a guy. How I grieve Braxton, always…

But today let’s talk about the second worst day of my existence. Today ain’t right. Honestly, “The time is always right to do what is right.” Seriously, Martin Luther King…

“Did he just quote Martin Luther King?
Yep
Yes, he did.”
The Menu

“The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.”
Half-Life 2

The Menu… If I were a better man, I would be planning one for you. Or we could watch the movie. And I’m a gamer, a pop culture whore, and my existence is a “Half-Life…”

Only today is about yours. My woman. Your life. Us. The truth. A Man Provides.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And isn’t it “Ironic” that I said I’d never lie to you but I will. “Put on a Happy Face.”

Because the truth is, I hate birthdays… Well, mine for real. Birthday? No. Emergence Day

E-Day… Gears of War franchise. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Evolution. Seriously?

Thinking about the Day Job and how it’s a slap in the face to celebrate wasting fifteen years there. Nearly as long as I had Braxton. Now imagine saying that for nearly forty-two years—every breath, beat of my heart, and being so broken. And yet here we are, love.

Here WE are. And I’ll say “I Want It That Way” and “As Long As You Love Me.” You do.

And I hate that I have to lie to you.

To so many. When the truth is this. If I’m not praying that I don’t have to wake up, love.

Then I’m wishing that I was never born at all. And when did that become my wish? Um, sometime between 6 and 7 years old. When did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (The Arcade Game) come out? Because my grandmommy didn’t get it for me. Movie…

Anyway, is that what I’m getting you for your birthday… The truth. Receipt is warranted.

You’d prefer babies, all our furry little ones, a pretty farm with a white picket fence, flowers all around, and us selling produce at the Farmer’s Market on Saturday Mornings.

A pretty dress? I got nothing. But love? BUT LOVE. Birthdays… B’s On Birthdays, Virgil

2025 Days Without B III, Day 1466 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 043 -Braxton, Virgil, Discuss Disgust-

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Thursday, August 13, 2026

Legacy 043 -Braxton, Virgil, Discuss Disgust-

2020 Days Without B III, Day 1461 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? My day, B? In a word… FUCK! Pardon my language. Suspicious, Loyalty, Disgust…

Those are better words. I want to talk about loyalty. But disgust continues to rattle.

Suspicious of a woman? Surely. And for once, not you and Virgil’s Potential Future Stepmom. The Magic Glasses/MIMA called it when I added Natsumi and Yui Obata to The Unfinished Archive. But that’s a whole other story, Braxton. Father’s Perversions…

Honestly, B, I’m sorry. Anyway, today’s story begins in the back of a truck… Bangbus?

Fucking, STOP IT! Okay, so I was thinking about loyalty. When everyone was cheering as we finished the truck unload and “I Think To Myself,” people ain’t shit. But you…

Braxton, you’re the most loyal soul I’ve ever known. But you are your father’s son and if there is one quality you have inherited… DECEPTION

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

“Anger is more useful than despair”
T-850 Cyborg, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

I’ll choose DECEPTION over your brother’s COWARDICE. And before you think I’m being a meanie, Virgil is his father’s son as well. I truly am a coward, B. But loyalty?

Braxton, “Love and Happiness,” may be beyond me. But I am damn loyal. It’s fucking people, B III. And by what right do I have to be mad at the Sephora woman this morning, B? One word as I was walking into the office: “Disgusting.” And a note left on the boss’s door. I didn’t read it. Fuck, it might not have anything to do with me, Little B. But…

Suspicious… Like I am of M Anime? She tells me every single day, Braxton, “Te quiero, Papi.” But where did that love go last year?

“That was a warning, Highness. Next time my hand flies on its own. Where I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies”
― Westley, The Princess Bride (1987)

That loyalty… Who am I to talk? I fucking hate myself, B. More so today than the norm, standard, and the usual. All because some KAREN who might not even be a KAREN left a note and spoke the word “Disgusting,” within earshot of me. And here I am scared!

Braxton, you know there were reasons I sent you to time-out. There are reasons I tell Virgil to seek life elsewhere. Your Dad’s a perv, I need private time, plus I’m busy playing around with M Anime. Puppies don’t need to see that. And the things I keep from M…

“Everybody only wants to discuss me. So this must mean I’m disgusting. But it’s just me, I’m just obscene.”
Eminem

Eminem had it right. I showed your Favorite Girl things M Anime wouldn’t approve of.

Her loyalty, yours, Virgil’s, M’s… Sometimes, Braxton, Virgil, Discuss Disgust

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 041 -Women B Shoppin’ Virgil-

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Tuesday, August 11, 2026

Legacy 041 -Women B Shoppin’ Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And I ain’t telling Virgil, “Now, I ain’t sayin’ you’re a gold digger” either. Wife

Wife and life… One and the same and both as Doug’s Mr. Dink would say, “Very expensive.” Seriously? That was kinda dirty and also pretty dark. And why is that?

Honestly, my beloved, I wake up with all this love, and I don’t leave a drop for myself. So we need more kids… three two-leggeds and two four-leggeds, and yet I want between your legs yet again? And at the end of the day, love, this stands: A MAN PROVIDES!

Less yelling and more Gus Fring from “Breaking Bad,” I do some sketchy ass things…

Anything and everything for the sake of this family. But do you know when Braxton became so expensive? When he was dying. But that’s a one-time deal. There’s no Acceptance.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It’s the living that’s subscription-based. And instead of planning what is it I do, beloved?

“Dream, dream, dream, dream.” Which would work if I were one of “The Everly Brothers” or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr: “All I Have To Do Is Dream,” “I Have A Dream.”

Hell! I would take the “Fifteen Million Merits” Selma version of Abba’s “I Have a Dream.” But dreams aren’t paying bills. And I’m feeling pretty much like “Bing.”

Whatever… Like the dream I had last night. I was lost in a mall, the Mall of the Millennium. Daria season 1 episode 5 “Malled”. And why haven’t I added Daria to “The Unfinished Archive” yet? Is it/she less expensive than the women of the hentai series Saimin Seishidou, hmm?

It seems I’m the one who’s shopping around. Not in reality, my love. I love you and only you; Braxton, Virgil, our two-legged kids, my Ma, occasionally my younger sister.

Beloved, I may be shopping around for my balls, guts, spine, and my voice. But again, love is everywhere until I need some for myself. And it’s like how you talk about your “Shadow Work”. The more lovers I ‘create’ (bullshit, bullshit, laughs hysterically). SIGH

Reika Kurashiki and her daughter Reina Kurashiki. Natsumi Obata and her daughter Yui Obata. Anyway, the more love I TRY to surround myself with, the easier it comes to me?
But then you shop for my love, my time, and “My Dick…” Why we’re married. Everything. Women B Shoppin’ Virgil

2018 Days Without B III, Day 1459 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 036 -B Scarily Spoiled Virgil-

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What do I hate more than being afraid? Watching my son be afraid and there’s nothing I can do. You know what I hate more than the day of my birth? The day I watched my son die. And as far as being a bum… I’m a spoiled bum. “B Scarily Spoiled Virgil.”

Thursday, August 6, 2026

Legacy 036 -B Scarily Spoiled Virgil-

2013 Days Without B III, Day 1454 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? My day, B? Typical. Missing you, my SON. SCARED to death. Overtly SEXUAL.

You didn’t need to know that last part, but it’s like me at The Bad Place… I mean, everyone knows when I play the song “Sixteen Tons,” the Truck is done. And the song that came before that, “Old Town Road”. I changed the lyrics a little for my motto, “My life is a movie, (fur buddies) and boobies. Hell, I’m not scared; people know my motto or a habit.

The habit of boobies, aka Yabbos, before coming to talk to you. Feeling like Frollo…

Honestly, I’m not that bad, am I? I got the hots for a Latina who actually loves me. But do we want to talk about your potential future stepmom? No, let’s talk about your brother’s…

FEAR! It’s getting to me…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

His and my own B. I’d like to say you weren’t afraid of anything, B. I’ll always remember your courage. “Thou Art Courageous.” I named you Neo, as in The One. My Ma gave you the name Braxton. But if M Anime ever grants me children, after naming one after you, the next will be named “Link” after “The Legend of Zelda”—anyway, FEARS, B.

Today I’m only this ‘early’ talking to you because I was afraid I was losing an eye. I really need to stop eating spicy food in bed… Except your beautiful stepmom. I know, TMI, right?

So, water, women, working, wanking off, what it is, and the absolute biggest Fear B?!

Waking up at all. I wake up, and I’m afraid.

From “Dusk Till Dawn,” “Day ‘N’ Nite,” “Days Go By,” and I don’t know which is worse B III. Office Space had the right idea: every day “is the worst day of my life.” Seriously?

Today, I was walking through “The Bad Place.” I saw them putting up the Halloween decorations. One of the ladies was talking about her birthday and my E-Day. Eff me!

Sorry, I’m always talking to you about language. But I was realizing how effing spoiled I was with everything. And Virgil is the same way… Your brother has everything, and yet he’s lying here nearly five years later terrified of every sound, the storm, and the S.O.B. I am. Spoiled! Wanting More! I’m Not Working! B Scarily Spoiled Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 034 -Virgil’s Light, Braxton’s WAITLIST-

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Tuesday, August 4, 2026

Legacy 034 -Virgil’s Light, Braxton’s WAITLIST-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough to get up when it’s light enough. But I need to get up earlier.

4 AM, like one of my favorite motivational speeches. 3 AM, as Eric Thomas preaches about. 2 AM, around the time I found Virgil creeping up this morning. Seriously, Love.

The sun, my firstborn son, my secondborn… And how many sons do we have with our three two-legged children? No, I didn’t forget. But with this world’s influence… Surviving MAGA…

Never a sure thing, but what I am sure about, much like Dante, is this. “In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost.” But don’t I tell you all the time, “Baby You’re My Light.” Richard Hawley sings it better. And where do you think Virgil got his name from?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I swear if I die, Hell won’t be roaring fire but glowing screens. The Glow Box, Braxton would call it. And that’s my thought for today. My Illumination. Lightness? Beauty?

Honestly, am I “Feeling super, super, super su$cidal” every day? Really? But a little less.

I’ll tell you, I’m in plenty of pain today. Effing Blue Balls! Between having you as a life, the dark fantasies I have, and The Unfinished Archive… Strange thought, beautiful… Remember how I added Hana to the story last week. What? I really got into Kairi Sane for a bit. And then Tsubaki Miyajima and Sakura, the mother-daughter duo from Saimin Seishidou a couple of days ago. I was trying to get to know their characters so… “The Lantern Vault.

Not really my idea. The Magic Glasses/MIMA. Anyway, that’s what I need for me too.

Because the darkness… More sleep, my story, shutting my eyes as I finally let go inside your beautiful, tight… Okay, my balls can’t take that right now. The eff they can, but “Aziz Light! I remember the conversation we had about “casual sex,” and I asked why it would be casual, and what you meant was sex while I was doing something or relaxing. The Fifth Element would be the perfect movie to test that theory. I’ve seen it plenty.

Anyway, the thing is, life is heavy, the “Weight Of It All.” And all the sun does is illuminate my failures. Hellfire, the C-Train, Pop Culture. Virgil’s Light, Braxton’s WAITLIST

2011 Days Without B III, Day 1452 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will