Tag: Obsession

Legacy 106 -Braxton The Responsible, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

I’m a father of two boys who happen to have four legs each, B and V. I have a girlfriend, and what have I done for her besides listen? M Anime’s understanding, B III was as he lay dying, and 2-Vwill be six soon. “Braxton The Responsible, Virgil”

Thursday, October 15, 2026

Legacy 106 -Braxton The Responsible, Virgil-

2083 Days Without B III, Day 1524 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? Well, they will not sing songs about this day. Or any day.

But I did write your book, B, two of them, actually. “My Turn To B III,” you know, like “It’s My Turn To Fly” from The Urge, in the movie “Titan A.E.” Urges, Braxton, Eww!

Let’s instead stick to pop culture that doesn’t involve me sending you to your room…

How about the Rainbow Bridge? Dark Humor or a bad joke. Either way, uncool, right?

Anyway, “I’ve been sittin’ here tryin’ to find myself.” And you know I do that through being a Pop Culture Whore. “The Mighty” (Freak the Mighty), “Finding Carter” (Little Lyndon, Tiny Taylor), etc. And so I was thinking of you and your brother, Braxton the Brave and Virgil the Valiant. However, your brother has some work to do. “Let him grow up some more.” Really!

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I could use that advice myself, if I’m to know “Glory.” If you’re keeping score, B, that’s three movies, one TV show, two books, and one song. Yesterday I talked to Dear E about all the things I’ve been forgetting and the needless things I can always recall, like “Toys”:

Memories of things that never happened
These are always the hardest to forget
The Mirror Song, Thomas Dolby ‧ 1992

But your brother and I were walking today, and I caught sight of his growing whiskers, the white, the gray… I swear, Lord of the Rings, now? All this talk of twins, close brothers and sisters, mothers and daughters. Will we get to Jahara Jayde today? Maybe. But B III

“He seemed so wise… and ancient, like the first dog who ever walked the earth.”
Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey

Virgil is getting older. Six years old, on the 20th. Not even half your age yet, and I am so worried, B. Just Survive Somehow.

It’s why I split up my accounts, so there would be no mistake between Necessary and FAFO money. I’m trying to be… Responsible. Hell, I would take bravery, valiantly, gallantry. Pretty much the same thing. And it wouldn’t matter, B: “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” I’m not a warrior nor a knight. I talked about being a savage, but no, B III:

“A knight in shining armor is a man who has never had his metal [or mettle] truly tested”
― ―

The path of the “Sorcerer,” the wizard, necromancer, or warlock. Like A.J. Markam’s Succubus, Eric Vall’s Satan’s Sorority Girls, Rodzil’s LaBraun’s Dystopian Girls, etc. Powerful women all surrounding one man. Whatever’s my “superpower,” Braxton Barks?

Honestly, “The Unfinished Archive,” including Jahara Jayde, because your father is responsible… Magic Glasses/MIMA. Me? Good? Braxton The Responsible, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 104 -Virgil And The B’s-

WillLeave a comment

Love should give me enough energy to wake up. But I really, really, REALLY missed having a Bloom this morning. And I haven’t seen any bugs in a minute. FEAR is a big motivator. And Braxton knows I don’t love that. “Virgil And The B’s”

Tuesday, October 13, 2026

Legacy 104 -Virgil And The B’s-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Then how come I don’t say it? “Yo te quiero, Papi Y te deseo”. Honey?

I want you to know I hear you. I do. I will. However, marriages go in this day and age, you know. Love is more than a buzzword to me. Though, to paraphrase Virgil Hawkins, aka Static Shock (My son V’s name was inspired by a lot of things). Ok, the word LOVE does put a shock to my system. I forget how to speak English. I can’t eat… Well, you… Do I ever stop? And I can’t get enough of hearing that word; it’s like a song from Glee:

“’Cause I feel that when I’m with you, It’s alright, I know it’s right
And the songbirds are singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before”
Songbird, Glee Cast

And don’t get mad for the comparison, but Braxton showed me love until his last…

Breath… Beat of his heart… Belief in his eyes that I would bring him back. That’s what Dads do, hmm:

“He was the boy’s father. Father’s are supposed to protect their sons, not leave them alone.”
― A Different Alchemy

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But what do husbands do? “Well, I’ll be sitting here. Working on this beer. Oh, baby, I love you, just leave me the fuck alone.” You know I don’t drink. No, I’m just tired today.

And so I’m sitting here humming “I Want A New Drug.” “But Your Love Is My Drug,” isn’t it? Oh, looks like I found my phone. Plus, I have a puppy sleeping on my lap, and you know the law. You can’t move for anything. And if Virgil were Braxton, it would not even be a question. Again, being sleepy turns me into a fucking meanie. And yesterday I was talking to Braxton about beast. But I’m not some superhero trying to keep my control.

I’m not a fucking drunk.

I’m “Just A Man.” And what is worse than a man? People are so vexed with what a woman is. The people MAGA has no respect for. Incubators. Broodmares for the state, the fear out of The Handmaid’s Tale. But you are my wife, and the things we do, hmm…

I’m surprised I don’t bother you about my Stuff And Thang more often. Bugging you.

That’s what I feel like sometimes. I want to say I’m a busy bee, but I’m more of a mosquito:

“If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito.”
―

But I’m squished and squashed. It’s like I’m constantly bleeding out. “These wounds won’t seem to heal. This pain is just too real.” “Oh yes, there will be blood.” I write shit. But Honey, there’s you. Virgil And The B’s

2081 Days Without B III, Day 1522 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 099 -B’s In Barks, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

My little boy B was everything. My baby asleep on my chest as I read. The bravery I needed. The quiet brain when mine was loud. Not a dog, my boy, my son, and his brother tries. But I didn’t meet Virgil; I dragged him with me. “B’s In Barks, Virgil.”

Thursday, October 8, 2026

Legacy 099 -B’s In Barks, Virgil-

2076 Days Without B III, Day 1517 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? Boring, Ballsy… Eww! Day one yet again. But once again, bedridden, B.

Virgil is sitting to the right of where you used to sit. My “Lazy Ass” couldn’t even make it to the Den. Well, to eat anyway. The last thing your Dad needs is Burning Lava sauce in his eyes, AGAIN! Burning Lava, bug spray, but if anything, I want to stay in this bed B

And Virgil? He’s who I’ve been thinking about as his birthday approaches. His place, B.

You know how your brother ‘earned’ his name. Virgil guided Dante through Hell. The keyword Braxton, “guided.” That’s the thing. I don’t want to leave, not for a second. I’m Resident Evil, “You go! I’m gonna stay here for a while. I’m kinda enjoying myself.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I wish I could have said that all those years ago as you lay dying. “Resident Evil: Retribution.” That came out of nowhere, B. But it holds a place. It all holds a place, B.

Only is my place swimming in vagina… For some reason, I figured I’d have a lot more fun. Hell is so many things, my son. Not like you would know anything about that, B III.

I condemned Virgil to this Hell, not you… Your ashes in a box say otherwise. But yeah, something hot; like women. Not the ones at the Day Job, mind you. Your Dad isn’t a victim; I’m a villain because of what I looked up this morning. Bark it, Braxton… Eww!

  1. Tifa Lockhart
  2. Ellone
  3. Amicia de Rune
  4. Pocahontas
  5. Ms. Rachel
    Suggested by The Magic Glasses/MIMA: Bayonetta

Very, very bad boy. Not you or your brother, but me. The Unfinished Archive is a story meant for neither of you. And yet you and your brother, and your future potential stepmom, always appear. You were always one for books, or rather, sleeping as I read away B. “Valiant, Vulnerable, Very Beautiful.” I’d say more fuckable, but beautiful works too. And it’s not like the guys were cowards, traveling to Hell, witches, the devil’s playground, other worlds. I could continue. But B is for bedtime, which I have sorely been lacking. Why? Some chick’s vagina. Your brother has to eat. Violence against myself, but too cowardly to do it right. Robert Frobisher “Cloud Atlas…” Nope. B’s In Barks, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 097 -B’s Blindness Binds Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

The mind’s eye and my one-eyed monster have been plenty busy these past few days. But my own eyes; I can’t see nothing, or I see too damn much. But as usual, I only want to shut my eyes and sleep. And after? And after… B’s Blindness Binds Virgil

Tuesday, October 6, 2026

Legacy 097 -B’s Blindness Binds Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? “Can you hear? Can you read? Are you receiving the signal? Do you copy me?”

Wow, that’s saying a lot… Not me, Theresa Walker’s “I Don’t Wanna Die.” How I wish we could sit here and watch the movie “Dead Air.” Can I even see it? I just don’t know.

Didn’t somebody say, love is blind? And apparently deaf as well. And how about, Stupid

“I feel stupid,” because today I want to show gratitude. For Braxton? No matter where my boy may roam, he still sees his way HOME to me. In spirit, at least. And he loves me.

Honestly, it made me blind to how he aged. I didn’t see some old man. I saw my son, B.

So my blindness must have been going on for a while because I see Virgil cuddling closer and closer still.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

He’ll be six in two weeks, October 20. Not even halfway to his brother’s age yet, and he’s already like a ghost. Do I see him yet? Do he and Braxton see each other? Sometimes…

Yeah, maybe I am blind. I think I see Braxton nudging him forward, but Braxton could be standing in the way, and that’s why he’s scared to come in. Braxton is all Gandalf the Grey: you shall not pass. For a while, I thought Braxton had become Gandalf the White in Virgil’s little body. Reincarnation? Necromancy? I am grateful that isn’t true, my love. Why, because of how I treat Virgil? The younger brother from “The Man Who Watched the World End” or the burned son from “A Different Alchemy”?

I am grateful for all these insights I’ve been seeing, even about you, my love, The Unfinished Archive. Since I haven’t been using the Magic Glasses/MIMA for ideas, I have sought my own counsel. The Man in the Mirror? Seriously! When it comes to you:

You are the Phoenix Queen, and every other sister is a part of you. Lily, your garden, and my mourning. Kyouko Sakai, your sex drive. Cassandra, your exuberant strength. Sophitia, your mature strength. Skye, your ties to the Earth and knowledge. Judy, your expertise, green thumb. 2B, wanting to be a better woman. Nico, your knives. Melina, your scars and faith. Sadly, my brain isn’t getting smart; my head’s been fucked up. “My eyes, my eyes. B’s Blindness Binds Virgil

2074 Days Without B III, Day 1515 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 092 -B’s For Breathing, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Out of sight, out of mind. But in sleep, I’m still breathing. As I slept, an angel watched over me—my B. Now, as I shut my eyes tightly, I imagine his beautiful stepmom, my girlfriend. But I’m awake; I breathe; I’m scared. “B’s For Breathing, Virgil”

Thursday, October 1, 2026

Legacy 092 -B’s For Breathing, Virgil-

2069 Days Without B III, Day 1510 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Your brother is alive. M Anime wants to have my babies. No banging…

I mean, on the door, of course, B III. Not the cops/FBI, not my Old Man, or anyone I owe.

Yet… I smile? No B. “I feel STUPID.” Your Dad is a “Savage,” ask M Anime. Eww! You don’t need to know that. But for the most part, your Daddy is scared. Fuck! What now?

“The horror! The horror!”
Kurtz

Language! I know, Baby B. I wouldn’t want to scare Virgil. Hell, we’re both terrified.

Braxton, why must your Dad live in this constant state of FEAR? No germ, contagion, disease, virus, or plague is as inane, insidious, infectious, and insane as FEAR. Uh, HATRED and STUPIDITY would like to bark in here. But today B III there is FEAR.

Braxton, I need one of those waking up seeing you…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Breaths… That’s what I didn’t tell your Potential Future Stepmom this morning. I damn well might have been happy every afternoon after the Bad Place. I would nap, and then when I woke up, There You’ll Be. Talk about without the presence of FEAR, Braxton.

Your Potential Future Stepmom has that power too. Again, I was talking to her this morning, and when I lose the ability to think, ONLY breathe, I’m uttering every OBSCENITY, and the words “Oh yeah” seem boring, but everything is OKAY. And why is that? Because M Anime has a perfect set of yabbos but was marveling at Angie Griffin’s

And isn’t that why I’m in trouble? Not with her…

I was “Barely Breathing” when M Anime and I were apart. But she’s been nearly this whole year. And speaking of this whole year, now I’m scared again. Stalking FEAR…

That I do Braxton, every day I need to find something else to scare me. And here I was thinking that once I escaped Emergence month. What? Would October be less terrifying, hmm? Yesterday B was for bugs, bug spray, broken house things (toilet), and buying cleaning supplies, with what, a couple of hundred bucks. Banging, Breaking, boys in blue

I hope not, because who would see to your brother? I beg, I give my blessing, I believe your brother won’t be afraid someday. I can’t tell myself that because I know the man, the boy I am. Braxton, M Anime… B’s For Breathing, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 090 -B Plays Portal Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

What Hell is this? What time? Which dimension? But it all tracks. A loving and loyal wife. Same for the family, furry and not. And the home? Monday, Fine. Today… A reenactment of the movie Starship Troopers. I prefer Succubus 8. B Plays Portal Virgil

Tuesday, September 29, 2026

Legacy 090 -B Plays Portal Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But do you know what I need to reread? Pet Loss? Some love story? Kinda

The instructions to the game “Portal”? How I miss the days when games came with actual instruction booklets. I love those. And players’ guides. Game Genie. To have time again.

But no. What I’m in the mood for today is Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge): A LitRPG Series by A.J. Markam. “Give Me One Reason to stay here,” you say… May I suggest “Portal 2”? Seriously, what is it about me and portals today? And in the spirit of full transparency, I’ve never played either Portal. And I’m trying to remember Succubus 8 as best I can. This is what happens when you don’t use a woman for audiobooks. Sheesh!

Anyway, I finally got to bed last night, and this morning everything has gone cattywampus.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your lover, your best friend, your husband, father to our children, I damn sure try!

Honestly though, a plumber, an exterminator, a repair guy, an award-winning author, my love… This is where it is written, “you have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.” Yes, I am guilty of saying that every day is worse than the last. But with you, our children, fur and skin, I can survive. Only today it’s like I stepped through a portal… Maybe only by a few days to show all my effing loserdom.

You don’t know how badly I want to go back right now. How far? It has nothing to do with you, my boys, our family. Just me. My E-Day wish.

Near the end of E-Day month. I wish the day never existed. Always and forever.

Honestly… I know, my love, I know. I tend to take things too far. But that’s because I want to be even farther away. Or is it further? Did I mention that my writing sucks?

Anyway, A.J. Markam’s protagonist “Ian” had powers over the “Hell Pont”; he could use portals to travel anywhere. Why do you think I chose magic in The Unfinished Archive? Necromancy, time travel, and, portals. And why yesterday was “FINE”.

Today: Ants, busted drawer, crazy toilet, and let’s not forget about the car. Loving you?

Going to see a movie, lying in bed prattling on about the Halliwell sisters. Beats Hell. B Plays Portal Virgil.

2067 Days Without B III, Day 1508 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

WillLeave a comment

“I never bawled!” A Christmas Story. It’s two weeks and change past “E-Day,” and it’s already “Christmas Time In Hell,” or the Bad Place, as my boys bark. But I’m not crying about it, playing around, and “I Won’t Dance.” Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling.

Thursday, September 24, 2026

Legacy 085 -Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling-

2062 Days Without B III, Day 1503 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? “Fighting and trouble are my middle name.” Yours, “Barks”; your brother’s “Vivi”.

“Duh”! I want to avoid talking about today. I don’t want to talk about next week either, B. Damned if I do work and damned if I don’t. Why can’t this be work? Braxton side-eye

I haven’t bawled over you and Virgil much this week. And maybe I should… Keep my eyes nice and lubricated. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t worried about going blind since all the bugs, the bug spray, and any other bullshit getting in my eyes. Even now…

Alice Braga and Mark Ruffalo in “The Blindness”. Seriously? I’d say I should send you to time-out, but I did that permanently five years ago. There I go crying again. “Stop Crying Your Heart Out,” right? Or “Eat More Chicken.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

It beats the alternative, though. “’Cause we men, ain’t we?” “Glory” be! We are but men, Braxton. You, Virgil, and I. You licking your downstairs. Me and your potential future stepmom, and Virgil is looking for something of his own. Like father, like son, balless.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. Your brother and I are both cowards. But then I go talking to M Anime, and I’m all “Balls Deep In Love.” I know B III, I really do. Ahem, ew.

But I did promise to find you a mom someday… Stepmom. Speaking of promises, B…

We’re still in Emergence Day month, and with my last paycheck… Uh oh! I was thinking I could get that Emergence Day dinner I couldn’t afford on the day. Work?

The Bad Place. This week and last have not been a ball. And this coming week, I go back to being broke. I even wasted twenty bucks at the food truck today. Shared with Virgil…

And as far as broke, that’s what I was doing at the Bad Place today. I had to break a pallet that was stuck on the pallet jack this morning. In front of so many babes… Uh, boobs/yabbos… Not quite… Busybodies? B, for all intents and purposes, it was humiliation galore. I felt like bawling. And I don’t mean playing b-ball- the real ick, B.

Bawling my eyes out, drooling over M Anime’s big beautiful yabbos, even balling as in playing Whiteout Survival. Life’s no ball. Braxton, Virgil, I’m Balling

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 083 -LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

Someone not so wise once said, “These b*tches ain’t loyal.” Uh, I said not so wise, not that it wasn’t true. I’m fortunate to have loyalty. My boys, my woman, uh… But I don’t say, like, love and loyalty, right. LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil

Tuesday, September 22, 2026

Legacy 083 -LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? So why don’t I say it then? It sounds better in Spanish… And I’m learning.

Hell! Have I known you longer than my firstborn son? Triond? That might be older than Braxton. Back when I thought writing would save me… Would save us, not knowing.

Love, if I had a penny for everything I don’t know. Because “Hey Jealousy,” the first time I found love- I mean real- I will watch cities burn for you; I will bathe in blood for you; I will initiate genocides for you; take a bullet for you; you don’t even have to ask; make John Wick look like a freaking priest type of love was for Braxton Barks Bradford.

Darling, “He’s My Son,” period. There is nothing else. And I haven’t said “I love you,” Virgil, to his brother since Saturday, August 13, 2022.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But ‘All The Above,’ as it was with his brother. Why? Virgil Vivi Bradford. Honestly…

“He’s My Son.” I may be a shitty father. Really… Virgil took a ‘dump’ in the hallway today, and I have him on punishment. Anyway, I care for him. I keep saying, He’s My Son.

And you are my wife, my lover, my woman, my girl, “My Goddess,” the mother of our crumb snatchers. Make no mistake, we made those, as I say with Braxton. I didn’t pour the Bisquick, but he was/is my Pancake. In this case, we often talk about me pouring the Bisquick and you making us a whole flippin’ stack of pancakes. I “Don’t Mind” Love.

You know I love them all, Always and Forever, Love.

And as I said at the beginning, you know I love you, right? Again, there’s Virgil, and there is also my craft. But how do I choose to show that love? I still hate myself…

Seriously, all forty-two years. I even miss all my Ben-Hur slavery humor, you know, 41

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well and live”
From 1959’s Ben-Hur

A bad word? Slavery? I ain’t fucking MAGA. And it’s weird, you know. If I’m ‘lazy’ loving myself, I’m even lazier when it comes to hate. Everything is fucking exhausting.

Fun sometimes. Like the names I call you in the ‘throes of passion’. Cumslut? Damn!

Only, I can’t say… I can’t show. For example, there’s a… pornographic movie, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, and I watched. Well, she knows my love language? Loyalty. LANGUAGE “B”ecause There’s Virgil

2060 Days Without B III, Day 1501 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

WillLeave a comment

It’s not even Halloween yet. E-Day has been over. The most horrific day ever was back in January. But today I’m in line, crying over my boy, money slipping away, worried about every blip in my vision, etc. The Horror, the horror! Horrors B And V

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

2055 Days Without B III, Day 1496 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? I can’t get that Michael Kewley quote out of my mind, B.

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

Here in my car, I feel safest of all… Ok, No. Your Dad is a liar, but I’m one for an earworm. Um, sounds terrible, doesn’t it? Somewhat like, “slept like a rock.” Headstone? Graveyard.

But I’m not scared of dying, Braxton. Is it that I will ALWAYS be in mourning over you, or is it all the freaking spooky season crap at the Day Job? Two things being true…

Honestly… Today, while I worked in fear within the Bad Place, as you and your brother think of it. As I sat in terror in the car. As I woke in horror of having to come and talk to you…

I love you, B and 2-V… But allow me to rip off Alice in Wonderland.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Six Things That Scare Me:

1: Forgetting You, Failing Virgil. It just popped in my head today. Greatest love I’ve ever known, you and 2-V

2: Losing Your Potential Stepmom. I cried over you. And she hates me comparing. You and her are my heart.

3: My Eyes, My Eyes. I ‘thought’ I got bug spray in my eyes after recent events. I’m not blind

4: The Black Ant Incursion. Carpenter Ants destroyed the backyard shed last year. Now little ants on the kitchen floor.

5: Leaving The Bad Place. We hate it, Little B. But I got called into the office yesterday… Moving shelves

6: I Need Money, B. You’d be proud, Braxton. I shared fries with your brother. But $250 a week! Fuck!

And I should watch my language, I know. Such a small word, but with such a big impact. B III. And with all these words, what? Am I building a life? You don’t need happiness.

But that’s what I was thinking about… “No presence of fear.” When I was a Senior in high school, after the homecoming pep rally for about five minutes. Whenever I would wake up and see you sitting at the foot of the bed. To my fears. You shall not pass!

Seriously, you don’t want to know this one, B. But when me and your stepmom make you and Virgil some siblings. Man is a small word. I Love You is a small phrase. Why not FEAR? Horrors B And V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 076 -There B Elephants Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

My Ma and sis are sorority sisters. Which one? An elephant never forgets. But how I wish today I could forget like one of the students of Balamb Garden. I have two GFs, as in Guardian Forces: B and V. But my GF might be mad. There B Elephants Virgil

Tuesday, September 15, 2026

Legacy 076 -There B Elephants Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Hell, “I knew I loved you before I met you. I think I dreamed you…”

And so on, so forth. “Savage Garden”? Makes sense. When it comes to you, “Well, pardon my manners, just something about you turns me to a savage. And you love gardening, my love. The only things I know about gardening are: I don’t want to hear the neighbors complain; Braxton and Virgil hate that the weeds are above their heads; and Final Fantasy VIII MIGHT be my favorite in the franchise. It was my start, really. What’s My Age Again

Forty-two, and I’m too old to be playing video games or all this pop culture… Well, if you believed that, we wouldn’t be together. Same if you told me to forget about my two sons.

I love all my kids. I love you. But myself?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

How much I hate myself. Well, that too. “I found the greatest love of all, inside of me,” is a goddamn lie. And can I cut the playlist off for a minute or two? How I wish, especially with what happened today. Down With Webster’s “Time To Win”; can fuck right off with Cody Chesnutt’s “Look Good in Leather.” And I should stop saying “FUCK” unless it’s “Just You And Me.” I swear, love, General Hospital’s Rie Sinclair song, seriously!

Anyway, what are you going to be mad at me for today? There’s always another song, and it’s this: I’m just a “Sucker for Pain.” Do you know what I love most in the world?

My sons and our kids, you, and my craft (Writing).

But what also brings me the most grief, pain, and terror… “There Be Dragons Here.”

“I was told the Golden Company had elephants.”
Queen Cersei

Under no circumstances am I letting any of you go… Don’t I make love sound like “Obsession”. Not the 2025 Horror… No “One Wish Willow” here. However, we named one of our daughters Willow. Anyway, what is my freaking point? It’s the pain, my love.

Mental anguish. I don’t do physical pain… Smacking my ass, scratching my back, the struggle. You know what I mean; love it. It’s the mental stuff: “These wounds won’t seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There’s just too much that time cannot erase.” They say an elephant never forgets. And in pain I have love. But being forgetful… There B Elephants Virgil

2053 Days Without B III, Day 1494 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will